₦airaland Forum

Acidosis: ^ ^ ^ just stay focused. Work and develop yourself and above all, fear God. The right/perfect man will show up someday (it may be anyone)..with 100% convictions. One thing God hates is hypocrisy. But when your dependant on Him, I tell you..he will never fail..

Great insight there bro.

Kingsleyinfo: @op
first rule is
never tell a cheat that you have been cheating on his cheating ar.se

secondly run away from that your friend, because next time she will be the one cheating with your man.

thirdly forget about the guy you cheated with, probably the se.x was too good to be true, now he wants more

lastly, pull yourself together and deal with what you did, there is never a good enough reason to cheat on your partner.

The only post on this thread worth paying serious attention to! Gosh! Its so pathetic how NL is full θf judgmental hypocrites going about with a huge log in their eyes and spitefully tryna take the tiny spec off θf the eyes θf another! Keep pointing that ugly finger at another yet you are so oblivious to the other four fingers pointing right back at you.

Its so obvious that YOU yes YOU are the one I am talking to, else why would you sound so defensive as you are about to?

Good thing we have the christian approach to relationship on this section. I celebrate you sir.

I have noticed that your username is no more visible at the place I usually see it, that is, the top right corner θf the career section page. I have been bothered at the thought that you probably aren't a moderator anymore. Also I haven't seen any post from you recently. Where are you please?

Yes, you are missed, hence the search.

Just wanted to add Dammytex, all θf those faults you mentioned, you will only find in a choleric who hasn't dealt with those issues. I for one, being Choleric, I am naturally prone to impatience and anger. But when I saw the negative impact it had on my relationship with spouse and people I had to make a decision to change and work at changing. I haven't stopped being passionate and opinionated because that cannot change, I have only learnt to pay more attention and respect to other peoples opinion. Rather than doing things on my own, I find myself asking for input and honestly, I made an amazing discovery, there is power in submission! Honestly! And since the choleric is a power freak lol, that discovery has been a major tool. At least I still get to have my way and every other person is happy. Isn't that just devious? ( Making the wicked sound laugh. Hehehohohaha.

@ Duke what can I say? Thanks a lot bro. You sure have been doing a tremendous job here.
@ Dammytex lol. I like you already. As Duke rightly pointed out, you need a lady with the Choleric temperament. I would say that a blend θf Mel/Choleric would be perfect, Mel being the dominant temperament.

Your Sanguine nature seeks to always be the centre θf attention, so you naturally wouldn't appreciate anyone else competing with you for attention. In other words, you will be drawn to a more reserved person who would let you do all the talking. On the other hand, you have the unmotivated, lazy temperament (phleg), you would be doing yourself no good at all if you pair up with someone that shares that sort θf personality. Someone with a blend θf Mel/chlo will be reserved and very organized(a great match for the disorganized sanguine), the choleric in her makes her very focused(great match for the phleg).

I couldn't help but laugh real hard when you pointed that you wanted someone who would find your jokes funny. Why do you think Cholerics are so hard up? Lol. I am 70percent Choleric and my spouse has some phleg in him but I think he is the funniest and most fun to be with person in the WHOLE universe!(Call it exaggeration if you like lol). Dammy, you need a woman with a stronger personality, since you have a weakness with indecisiveness, you need a decisive companion. Just focus on her strengths rather than the weaknesses. I think I have laid so much emphasis on how my boo and I carryon, understanding each other and focusing on complimenting our weaknesses with each other's strengths has been very effective.

I also want you to note that though you can be with whoever you choose and work it out, its just much more easier when you understand temperaments and choose someone with a complimentary temperament whilst both θf you work hard at supporting each other to become better persons.

gabychuks: I am phel/mel, but sometime i wish i could change becoz i wish i could be the attention getter and all that but i end up only having them in thoughts.

I understand how you feel. Good thing is, you can be who you desire to be. Having known your temperament combination, you know what you lack and what should be done to be better. Try translating those thoughts to actions. When an opportunity to take the lead comes, instead θf wondering what people would say or think (that's your mel nature) just do the stuff. Your mel nature would cause you to analyze and spot all the negative reasons for you not to do what you desire to, but just go ahead and do before you get the chance to think it through and discourage yourself.

Another way you can help yourself is to be close to people with a more outgoing and daring temperament. I am a type A personality, I am very daring, my hubby is more laid back but our close association over the years has influenced our personalities, our weaknesses are boosted by each others strengths.

nitrogen: Hmmmmm! You got a lot of me up there. I will try and do what is required of me soon.

Lol. And what exactly is required θf you? I am hoping its really beneficial *wink* and I also hope that the Sanguine in you is not just making empty promises. Lol.

Acidosis: nice work spicy.. ..

Thanks, you are quite the encourager(if there's anything like that, buh you know what I mean). Its mighty sweet θf you.

Adbash: @Spicy lo: kudos for u. I think I have dominance of Melancholy(70%) with Phelgmatic(30%). Bt I'm definitely nt an introvert 'cos I do open up a little when I'm with a very close friends. Is that a bad combination?

Lol, you are definitely an introvert. You actually think you aren't one because you are loud when you are around close friends but if you were in a room with total strangers would you go all out to make friends or you'd rather observe?

Mel/Phel aint a bad combination. You'd be really reserved, cool and calm. You are a thoughtful person, very sensitive and detail oriented. Your friends will describe you as someone who takes things really personal and that is because θf your highly sensitive melancholy nature. You are highly suspicious, have trust issues, very laid back and very into your world. Also very stubborn, you will act like you are listening to what is been said when you are told what you don't like but will silently go back and do what's in your heart. You are a faithful, reliable and dependable friend with high morals and perfectionist tendencies. See! Not bad at all.

Just so you all know, there's a thread in romance section with title "temperament N love". Duke and I are looking at temperament and its role in relationships. Expecting your input guys, see y'all there.

Finally! Finally!! Finally Duke is here! Where have you been bro? Missed your input. So good to have your insight.

exklusive4: hahahaha...u r too harsh..must u comment?y nt waka pass nd face ur biz? (Aproko,)
@op...na song u come sing here? Y u chose ma topic! Bt u try sha...u be actor? Dat ajasco boy'?

Now why are you lying to yourself? Are you aware that self deceit is the lowest form θf delusion? You are obviously the same person with Ajasco! Please save yourself the shame θf denial.

Acidosis: I wanted to insult you but when I saw your name, then I knew its not your fault afterall..

Hahahahahaha, oh lawd! Now that's just mean.

@ op: not bad at all, just learn to write in comprehensive English. Loose the abbreviations, it hurts the eye.

Okay.. Next please.

Well slim, believing or not believing in the existence or efficacy θf something does not affect or change the fact that it actually does exist or work. Choosing to fake something does not mean that you actually did experience it. I mean you can try to be any other temperament but deep down you know you aren't. Doesn't prove that you are what you try to be. As for the issue θf compatibility, please let's not go too far, look around you here on NL. I am sure there are people you cannot stand and others you love just cos you connect somehow.

nitrogen: Nawa o, can't even figure out which one i am, i guess am san/chol........ Strange combination, abi?

San/Chlor isn't exactly a strange combo, quite extreme though. Being a San/Chlor, you'd be very extrovertish and restless. Very active infact your loved ones would often want to lock you up in a cage. You will also be the centre θf attention whilst commanding respect. You are a natural leader as leadership is all about influence. The sanguine is natural at influencing people, he attracts people like magnet because θf his friendly and charming disposition. The choleric is also very great at influencing because he is visionary, a starter and great at motivating and pushing people to accomplish things. You'd also be loud and self absorbed lol. You'd be very blunt, often hurting peoples feelings with your quick tongue but quick to be full θf remorse. You like to have your way and would resort to persuasion and manipulation to get your way. You hate details, have issues with impatience and anger.

Chew on this a bit. Lol.

@ Arque: According to Tim Lahaye, the prolific author θf Why you act the way you do, temperament is defined as a combination θf the following: inherited genes from parents/grandparents, early childhood experiences and environmental factors. All these contribute to shaping your personality. That is temperament. You can't argue that people are either extroverts or introverts, loud or reserved, blunt or diplomatic, aggressive, passive aggressive or non aggressive, confrontational or non confrontational. The temperament makeup is the reason behind this.

Yes, I say again that understanding your temperament and that θf your partner's is the key to unlocking the door to bliss in your relationship! Love is not enough(stale news) I am sure θf this, I speak from experience. Truly, the basic problem in relationships is the lack θf understanding. Once you know your temperament, you know who you ought to be with. Once you and your partner understand each other's temperament, 60 percent θf your issues
Are solved.

@ Adaeze: you are Mel/Phleg? Lol. Sweet gurl.
@Nitey: good to see you here. Are you still confused? Lol.
Tell me a bit about you, let's take it up from there.

So now, I am getting tired θf the narrative but my Choleric nature just wouldn't let me give up! Okay, uhm I think I will just have to find a way to get to the main gist, how your temperament affects your love life.

You must have heard that opposites attract. But in the dynamics θf relationship, you need much more than the initial attraction. True, the opposites will attract but there has to be some balance created by a similarity. Hence the saying, "we are so different yet so alike".

Let me explain by giving a personal illustration. I am a blend θf Choleric and Melancholy, Choleric being my dominant temperament. My boo is a blend θf Melancholy/Phleg and I bet he's got some sanguine in him. Now, the mel in me resonates with the mel in him, hence we have a lot θf stuff in common. Thank God I do not have to deal with disorganization! Lol. But, we are also very different. I am feisty, he is laid back, I have to work hard at being patient but that is second nature to him, I am forward he is hesitant, I tend to take life too seriously and he realizes that life is meant to be enjoyed! Its been six years together, still counting and it just gets better because we have developed the strong bond θf understanding each other!

Was it frustrating at any point? Oh yes! I mean I could never understand how someone could be so relaxed and he could not understand why I took life so seriously, why does everything have to be about winning? But over the years, we have let our uniqueness rub off on each other and we couldn't wish to be with anyone else.

So, have you noticed how different you are from your partner and would like to share how that has affected your relationship? Positively or negatively? The challenges, the benefits? Oh by all means, do share.

Pheeew, I am so glad I finally finished this e-book! Lol.

@ Arque: you are probably Choleric! Hence your display θf impatience, or maybe you are Sanguine, they hate reading! Oh well, Whatever...
@ Acidosis: I know the feeling. Lol.

Continuation.

So, I believe that by now, you have a pretty fair idea θf what category θf temperament you fit in. At least, your dominant temperament. So, I will just go ahead now and describe how they relate in a romantic relationship.

The Sanguine will naturally be attracted to the Melancholy or the Phlegmatic. He is intrigued by the Mels calm nature and her poise. The Sanguine has a very big ego and loves how the Mel strokes his ego with her steadfast attention towards him. Oh! How the Sanguines love attention. He just can't comprehend how another human could be so meticulous, so perfect, so cool. I mean its so cool that he doesn't have to share the attention with her as she is content with not being noticed. Miss mel on the other hand is awed by sanguine. I mean, he is so funny unlike boring me (so she thinks about herself). She reckons that with him around, she wouldn't live a boring, worrying life. So, they get married, have an exciting and adventurous honeymoon and reality checks in! Sanguine uses the toothplace and loses the lid! He wakes up early, making a lot θf noise while Mel is still asleep, takes his bath and dumps the wet towel on the bed right next to her!

She gets out θf bed really pissed, glares at him but can't hold that anger for too long because charming Sanguine knows just what to say and do to make all that anger melt away.

Duke: I need you at the romance section ASAP! Lol. Pheeeew.

Okay so, the sanguines are the class comedians, they usually seat at the back θf the class making fun θf the teacher and will be the first to walk to the front θf the class the moment teacher walks out just to mimick the teacher! They usually bag awards like, "most popular, funniest, friendliest". They do not usually rank amongst the A list students because they are always distracted. Its all about fun, fun, fun for the fun loving Sanguine. They are also not at all good with secrets! Telling a Sanguine your secret is like storing water in a basket.

The Cholerics are usually the class captains and maybe school bullies. Life for the Choleric is about winning. Exams are another exciting competition time, to flaunt their winning prowess! You do not want to mess with the Choleric, they will take you down lol. They are firm, dependable and hate injustice. While the Sanguine will joke about everything, the Choleric will strategise a means θf effecting change!

Melancholy: oh sweet melancholy. Sounds to me like melody but I have read that melancholy is derived from gloomy! These people are highly sensitive, highly emotional! You say one and they have reasoned one million! Lol. They are very self conscious, perfectionist and fastidious in nature. Unlike the Choleric whose motto is, "things should be done my way or no way" the Melancholy's motto is, "things should be done the right way"! The Mels are very thoughtful people who have moments θf highs and lows. That is, they have mood swings. They have very creative minds but their insecurities and low self esteem often poses as a self limitation! Most θf the worlds greatest poets and opera singers are Mels. They are introverts, reserved, but a Mel may be mistaken to be an extrovert when they are experiencing their temporal high. They are very reliable and would hardly ever cheat in a relationship because θf their beliefs in morals. Mels are very suspicious people! They can doubt! It takes a lot to earn their trust, probably because once they do, there is no going back. They are also very vengeful! The kind who recalls the year, month, day, hour, second and the colour θf t-shirt you were wearing the day you called her dumb in public! Desperate housewives Bree is so Melancholic.

Phlegmatics: are the easygoing peacemakers with an amazing sense θf humor! They can't stand chaos, always wanting to please everyone. They are also introverts. These people also have an amazingly stubborn nature! The phlegs are those who wouldn't argue with you but will quietly do what they want to do. They really never worry about anything unlike the Mels who are companions θf worry. Phlegs are lazy and generally unmotivated people. They tend to act nonchalant, like they couldn't care less if you were unfaithful. Phlegs love their space! No visitors as visitors only come to disrupt their valued sleep time.

Now let me paint a scenario with the four temperaments. There is going to be a party and the four temperaments have been invited. Sanguine immediately rings up all his friends, goes shopping and tweets his preparation for the event! The Choleric will want to know who else that is θf high reputation will grace that event(another opportunity to strike a business deal), the Mel will worry about what to wear, who to go with, how to mingle e.t.c and the phleg will be pissed at the amount θf work required to get set for a party afterall he can party by himself in dream land.

They get to the party and Sanguine walks in with his/her crowd, almost everyone recognises him and he begins to holler right from the door, with a sway to his steps. Meanwhile, Choleric is somewhere in the middle θf an argument, Melancholy is sitted all by herself observing everyone and Phleg is constantly checking her time.

To be Continued...

@ Acidosis: I absolutely love that book! Gosh.

The subject θf temperament is one that I find fascinating and amusing. A few days back, Mr Duke_NG(hope I got the user name right)created a topic on temperament in my favorite section on Nairaland(the career section). It was enlightening and fun and I said to him, why don't we do this at the romance section? So guys, here I am.

Do you recall ever saying words like, "we are so compatible", "so different yet so alike", "we compliment each other a great deal". Well if you ever have, I am sure you will agree with me that it is a great experience. For those who haven't had any θf these experiences, you really do not have to keep taking those online relationship compatibility tests or painfully solve the "how to tell you are right for each other" puzzles on Cosmo/Truelove/any other soft sell magazines. All you need is to understand temperaments and you are on your way to experiencing the true spice your relationship lacks.

Temperament is the reason people are the way they are and act the way they do. There are four kinds θf temperaments. However, each individual is a combination θf at least two temperaments or three at the most, with one being more dominant. You will agree with me that you can't be compatible with everyone, there are people that you just naturally flow with, its the compatibility in your temperaments.

Let's meet the four temperaments.
Sanguine
Choleric
Melancholy
Phlegmatic

Sanguine: they are loud, very extrovertish and known as the show stoppers. They are the ones who walk into a room with their mouth first. Always noticed, have a lot θf best friends, very emotional and also very forgiving. They are generally disorganized, not good with details and prone to promiscuity. So that bf/gf θf yours who likes to party all night long, abhors dull moments, hardly ever keeps to time, constantly breaks promises yet is so charming, lovable and ever quick to tender apologies, is probably sanguine! Ever seen desperate housewives? Well, Gabby is your typical Sanguine!

Choleric: they are also extroverts but far from being disorganized! The difference between the Sanguines and the Cholerics is, while the Sanguines are peoples person whose confidence is at its peak when they are in their crowd, that is their motivation is external. They get their groove on when they are in their crowd, the Choleric's confidence is natural! They don't need no cheerleader because they are their own cheerleader! Their confidence is inbuilt! They like to have things done their way and would often scheme, manipulate and use people to accomplish their selfish deeds and quickly move on without remorse! Their will is resolute and they have a high degree θf resilience. They are natural leaders, the kind who commands respect. Whilst the sanguine is charming, the choleric is charismatic. They are highly focused, knowing exactly what they want and would stop at nothing to get it! Oh, they are also very competitive and will never back out θf a fight! Remember Lynette in desperate house wives? She sure wore the pants in the house!

To be continued...

BlueDiva: ^^^
For someone who wants to be a prof, you better start learning how to research yourself.
Go online and search for all the info you need YOURSELF.

Lol, I was beginning to wonder when you would point your "student" in the right direction. Your patience is overwhelming.

Ekene! Get rid θf those silly looking font for your own good! It depicts a total lack of professionalism! You can accomplish that by doing this. " Whenever you type the word and it changes to that font style, simply hit the delete button on your phone and it will change back. For instance, I will type θf, you can see my o in the θf looks awkward but when I place the cursor in between the o and f and delete the o, then type it again, it changes back to of.

I hope you don't send emails using this font style!

Lol. Please Sir, its too early for me to laugh this hard.

Hahaha, @ Bunmioguns, lol! Seriously? There are two parties here? Mehn! I have to visit this section more often! I love me some free comic relief.

Hahaha Biggy: see you! Know-know! I am sure you like sabi-sabi a lot and you will be lafy-lafy wen you are doing your smarty-smarty.

Haba! That is too much time!

@ op: you actually do not require that much time to become a professor! You can accomplish that in much lesser time. Please google the names Ayodele Awojobi. He was a professor in Mechanical Engineering, University θf Lagos at the age θf 35! Iya Abubakar, Professor in Mathematics, Ahmadu Bello University at the age θf 28! And Alia Sabur, world's youngest Professor! She is only 18! The first two names I mentioned, accomplished becoming a Prof. at those ages back in the days were education wasn't as flexible as it is now! I mean children these days spend as few as 8years in both primary and secondary schools combined! I have a friend who travelled to the UK for her masters in 2009 and was offered scholarship for PHD upon completion θf her masters! She was even receiving some monthly allowance from the british government! She is less than 30!

You should read up on biographies θf professors and get your inspiration and advice from their achievements. All you need really is determination.

@ Duke: From experience, I have learnt that there is no full stop with temperaments. What I mean is, you can't say that I am restricted to pursuing a career path because θf my temperament. Before starting my current business with hubby, I worked for several organizations. While I used to go for interviews back then, I was always offered the job θf a sales executive and guess what, I always never applied for such position! Infact, all the places that I have worked as a full time staff(as I have worked as project staff) I always find myself in sales! I am either transferred to sales or made the spokes person for the company. What I do currently requires that I work closely with people, I can't let impatience or anger get in the way θf satisfying a client! (Haba! Do I wanna go outta bizness?) I have my ways with words, persuasion and negotiation. (But I am a chronic Choleric! If there's anything like that lol).

Truth is, knowing your temperament helps you know yourself and make the necessary self adjustment. My temperament does not limit me, there are no boundaries.

[quote author=Duke_Nija]Spicy what's your relationship like. With friends,family and colleagues.. How has your temperament affected your love life? I would like to know. Let's start from here before we venture to the romance section.[/quote]I am actually halfway through with my article on temperaments for the romance section. Please come on board. As to your question regarding my relationship with people, I have observed that I am very detached. I deliberately make relationships based on mutual benefits. Every relationship MUST be based on something meaningful. I don't keep friends for the sake θf friendship. Hence I don't really have close friends but a lot θf business friends. As for my love life, I would say God really does love me. I have spent the last six years θf my life with one man. We have a great relationship, the understanding is perfect. Funny enough, he is a combination θf San/Mel/Phleg! True talk!

He is very organised(Mel), easygoing(Phleg), life θf a party(San). The first few years was kinda tough! With me being very impatient with his laid back attitude and he frustrated with my aggressiveness! But the great thing is, understanding has made us a great pair, his patient attitude has brought the best in me, I have learnt to always keep my tongue in check and he is doing a great job θf relentlessly pursuing his dreams. His quiet stubborn nature gives me no choice but to submit lol.

We run a business together, I am the opportunist who always wants to rush in and make the most θf evry opportunity, with the usual saying, "if we don't take the risk, we never know what holds", he has got more caution to keep me in check, often spotting and analyzing the dangers ahead!

Summarily, I can say that I make a conscious effort to relate well with people, having known my weakness early enough, plus Tim Lahaye's Spirit Controlled Temperament was a great fix!

Lol, nice one. Never saw it from that angle. Lol.