₦airaland Forum

ifyalways: Strict discipline. . .teaching by example.

Cooked food stored in the freezer MUST be consumed before cooking any new thing. No junks,juices(unless home made) when there is food in the house. Keep everyone's left over in the fridge, microwave and force the person to eat it for next day/meal. Kids would only cry,pull stunts but when they see you wont give in,they comply.

Get a generator that can power-on your freezer.

I have kids and this works for me. Plain old discipline and rules. shikena

You don kill me be that.

MOBJECTIVE: yes, you're quite right if you're right, but how does this information back u your claim that slaves of Igbo origin were lazy and dumb? All it rightly points out is that they were not the only slaves who had some balls.

I feel embarrassed for him. Why should anyone be happy being slaves like him? That shows some docility to the massa. Ewww.
I would rather kill myself than be a slave.

obanla8: As a person involved in the Yoruban religion who lives in the Americas one of the major factors I see in its ability to survive is its ability to be [b]flexible [/b]and retain its complexity. Its an anthropomorphic religion so it could hide amongst the Catholic religious icons without being noticed! We must say that the religion while being nature based is highly sophisticated and is not locked into nature the way some native peoples are. In the United States the native peoples religion was the land, when Europeans took the land they literally took the church of the people! The Yorubas in Cuba and Brazil moved the sacred groves inside! Thus it allowed the religion to survive. This is my point of view as a American of African decent.

An example that comes to my mind is marital rites. The Igbo adamantly believes the intending couple must go back to the village/home of the woman for the traditional marriage, whereas the Yoruba does marital rites wherever he finds himself. So you find out that the tradition would be contained for the Igbo and not exposed to foreigners as the Yorubas. It's just like the Isrealites after being captured by the Babylonians in Psalm 137 I think, mourning about not singing the Lord's song in a strange land.

EfemenaXY: I think it depends on the personality of the single person in question and what they've achieved in life for themselves.
An extremely self-confident single person with a lot going on in their lives will not fall into the same situation experienced by the lady in question. Infact, it could even be the other way round where you'll find the married friends envying the freedom of choice lifestyle of the single person.
~ Freedom to exercise a "go-getting" approach to their career without having to worry about taking a career break to raise their young kids and family.
~ Freedom to travel, relocate, etc with having to worry how such a change would affect their immediate family (hubby and kids)
and lots more.

Thank you o.
Many single women make me sick, especially in the church...arrgghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!! That one is another story.
Every youth program would be turned to a husband finding and praying program.

Fulaman198: More delusional people on this forum.

The problem with people like you and the OP is that you wish that of which you are not (white). You and the OP are the only true bigots here. Putting all black women and black men into one group. In network engineering, we call that summarization.

No one cares if you go only after white men/women. But for you to broadcast it to the world shows you have either

A. Vast insecurity issues
B. Low self-esteem
C. Wannabe issues
D. Severe brainwashed issues

Sorry I refuse to surround myself with the negativity that always always simmers from black men.
Why are you angry by the way?

Seems black people can't wait for the next headlines to scream racism. I don't think this is the right way to go about this.
I hear despite 2/3 of the community being made up of black people, Ferguson boasts of only 3 black cops.
To stop institutionalized racism, we really need to get our people in there. When we begin to help each other, life would be better for us.
I know how my dad could make a headway because one or two black people happened to be at that bank, etc. After being told by a white person he couldn't get what he wanted.
Black people need to build a network, that is how other people do it. White help white, Jewish help Jewish. We are the only ones bent on making the rest of the world like us and screaming for equality. While the rest of the world does not care. We need to get with the program.


To stop institutionalized racism, we need to have more of us in corporate America. There would always be racism, but let's look at the bigger picture.

Now, if Nigeria can get her acts right...

I've often wondered why you people can't date yourselves without insulting black women. You hate white men, you hate black women, you hate how the world treats you as a black man...where does the hate stop? Tufiakwa.

Black women just need to accept the fact that black men in huge numbers have stereotyped them.
When a group of people repeatedly tell you they have a deep seethed hatred for you, it's best you accept it.
And move on with your life. There's no sense surrounding yourself with negativity.
And I like threads like this and more men need to come out and confess their love. So that black women don't make the mistake of dinning with people who hate them.
Personally, I stay away from black males, why? They scare me to be honest and I just know who hates me most. So I respect myself and stay away. Let the ghetto ones continue interacting and debating with them.

Black women know thy enemy!

We all know this. Every right thinking person knows this.
However what mostly comprised of the Elites in Western society were intellectuals themselves. Such is NOT the same in Africa.
And the POOR is the driving tool used to maintain the confusion and intellectual deficit in the political arena and leadership in traditional/religious/secular institutions.
Nigeria got the way it is today because it slowly killed off the middle class who are more likely to hold the government accountable for its actions. You are more likely to find the thinkers, the intellectuals here...people who think about the future. The middle class left Nigeria for other rewarding life prospects in the 80's, 90's even till today because of the debilitating system you were unfortunate to be born in.

On the other hand, the poor who have the greatest population in many African countries rather seeks for his daily bread. So these intellectual deficit leaders are recycled based on the poor's reverence (who are in greater numbers) of who is more likely to fulfill a momentary need like which political party will share a bag of rice or which leader is from my tribe or religion. So I blame the poor as well, they are not excluded in this mess.
Africa's elites are NOT controlled by intellectuals. For example despite the bastion of educated Nigerians spread around the world, President Jonathan chose a Doyin Okupe as a Senior assistant on public affairs. You can see the mental pedigree of the man during the hardtalk on BBC.
My question is how can intellectuals gain control of the leadership in Africa, when the leaders today have an army of poor followers that have sold their birthright for momentary pleasure?

[img]http://4.bp..com/_u3lFqBksmrE/TKTvMVEq6XI/AAAAAAAAh7U/CtekgxcCBus/s1600/Crowed-at-the-venue.jpg[/img]

As long as we continue to have the calibre of people at the helm of affairs, Nigeria is totally beyond repair and it can only go from bad to worse to worst.
I unashamedly have a fatalist mentality, proudly and terribly not optimistic. And I believe with all my heart more Nigerians NEED to adopt this mentality.
Our parents did the optimistic route, so no thanks. Optimism has a way of making the Nigerian rely on some magic or supernatural force to solve the glaring problems in the society. Optimism has encouraged a dire laziness in the Nigerian, where she relies on fate, destiny, magic to egg on in life.
Nigeria needs a do or die approach, a now or never disposition and not a hope that everything is going to be alright.

I can only remember one now.
A Yoruba girl kneeling to greet me. Gotta admit, it took me aback despite the fact that I know how huge the respect thing is to them. It just felt weird and I felt embarrassed, dunno why. I'm still begging her to stop doing it to me.

No. Agbani is.

https://jadeafrican.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/Agbani-Darego.jpg

KanwuliaJara: Your opinion, and you are entitled to it!
Glad it is a woman LIKE YOU!
I am also GLAD that when it comes to children, it is A WOMAN'S WORLD!
We can't lose ALL WAYS ABI?
Hallellojah!
If Na to go chase woman, this same man will drive 2000 miles.
Shior!

aisha2: Dont loose sleep. Its how irresponsible men operate,[b] instead of owning up and getting much needed help they will attempt to rope others into their sadism. Thats how they have people believing that all men cheat instead of working on their problem alone they want to rope all men in their mess. [/b]These are the ones giving men horrid names.

Very correct!

Fulaman198: I think some of what he says are true especially the part of black women don't respect black men. Which is true. That's why black women (African women completely included) go after white guys and throw black men to the curb.

However, one can not simply deny the success of Nigerian black men abroad and also locally. We are amongst the most educated in the world. So think of that black women, and stop pretending to be white women.

Haven't watched the videos yet, but can you explain the bolded? I really don't get it and the pretending to be white women part?

However I would speak for myself, I wasn't brought up to even restrict myself to my tribe when it comes to marriage, let alone race, lol.
I really really find it weird when people expect some loyalty to race when it comes to matters of the heart.
Any matured woman know that in this century, it is by who loves you, who would marry you and not make you a baby mama, who wont be hung up on a culture or ancient ideals that demand you take up more responsibility you can chew because you were unfortunate to be born a woman. This is the kind of man I would want for my daughter whether white, black, or yellow.

This research is very very deceptive. It doesn't matter if you are natural, relaxed or you wear extensions, you would still spend some ridiculous amount to make your hair except you just go for a bald, cropped look or loc your hair. God knows I can never loc my hair though.

Don't be deceived to think you would spend less if you go natural, in fact natural products are even more expensive. Companies have taken advantage of the fact that more and more black women are going natural. Relaxer sales have decreased over the past 5years by at least 26%. I won't be surprised this research is funded by some white company (who sell relaxers and is not happy about its low sales) with an agenda to monopolize natural hair product sales, the way the Koreans did with weaves while black people slept on something they consumed. The world is moving onto natural hair, so Black entrepreneurs need to invest now in natural hair before some group steals and monopolizes this lucrative business.

I still have my wig handy on one of those illegal days of bad hair though.

It's actually not unafrican.
African feminism was focused on 'women's rights'. Women looked out for their rights in traditionally african settings. It is the introduction of foreign religions that killed these female political structures and they lost their vibrancy. As much as most of Africa was a patriarchy, women's voices were not silent. These female groups provided checks and balances under the patriarchical system. Foreign religions encouraged the silence of women under the cloak of submission, headship. During the Aba women war in the 1920's the colonialists assumed it were men that perpetrated the ruckus but were stunned to find out it was women...women fighting for their rights that the colonialists had usurped. Nollywood does not help matters either on how African societies were set up. Strong female political groups are hardly represented in the so called epic movies. I wait for the day our stories would be told with more facts than fiction.

crackhaus: The pe.nis is never a va.gina anytime. Before differentiation begins, it is called a zygote with no sex...and when fertilization occurs, the formation of organs begin and the pe.nis is formed.[/b]

In fact, did you know that the clit.oris of females is much like a pe.nis? This means that females initially start out wanting to grow a pe.nis inside the womb but no matter how hard they tried, they just couldn't.
Same thing they're doing even in adulthood by trying to become men in the name of feminism. Hehehe.... I have gone there, trouble mode activated.

Besides man was made first, not the other way around.

This is the most ridiculous science I've read in my life... I doubt you know the meaning of fertilization rotflmao.

Relationship101: GOD gave women POWER to control men?? Which God was that? When did he give women such power? And why does man need to be controlled? Did you say for over 50 years your parent didn't quarell?
How can man be the head and still needs to be controlled?

And that is why they call women fish brains...their reasoning defies logic The submissive idealogy propagated to women is akin to what slavery did to people. Tell a man he's one thing over and over again and he begins to believe it.
They say they are the neck that turns the head...buhaha. Pure village woman science. The neck cannot turn by itself without instruction from the brain. Women should stop deceiving themselves

DestinedSharon: Men are polygamous in nature, they love adventures. Not that the one they have isn't good for them but they also will like to invade the next. Thats why I'll always advocate for respect coming first in my marriage. In my culture, any titled man who eats the food cooked by his adulterous wife tends to fall sick. So, when such strange sickness arises fingers are pointed on the wife believe this, no woman will like to live with d stigma that she ''killed her husband because of her waist''. I don't call this gender descrimination. By the biblical diffinition of ''lust'' all men are adulterer. I strongly believe that I should not be given chances. I am easily carried away by what I hear. Imagine a family of five kids with no resemblance only one looks like the parent: what do we suspect.. I do not support infidelity on the side of a man, but if one person should be faithful, I'll always say it should be me.

Speak for yourself and say 'I am easily carried away by what I hear'.
See what a woman is writing...hehehe
Women are indeed their worst enemies.

I would like to learn how to write it. It would be some good extra curricular activity. This writing system should not die. Now if only our governors are interested in actually preserving culture. Culture is not only about ceremony, people wearing uniforms to dance at some Igbo union as it is today. This should be preserved and improved upon.

pickabeau1: Its not possible to prescribe a family structure or unit as variety abounds

Your list is not exhaustive and rather conventional considering alternate family forms exist

You can tell us the other forms.

Good thread. Now compare to the man that is asking who greets who first in the morning in 2014. Nonsense.

cococandy: On nairaland it's black and white.
No room for grey areas.
Lol

Hahaha

baby124: Huh?
Haba OP, softly tell us these kind of stories. Which wife will jump up and wrap her legs around her inlaw. Ah ah!!!! Please, that was already more than enough. No place in the world greets like that. Totally inappropriate behavior to have with even ones father when you are over 12, not to talk of an inlaw.

I know right.


Anyway, the scenario is grossly inappropriate.
Yet to see the male friend or family member that warrants such nonsense greeting. Wife gat no social manners!!!!!!!!!!!

Blessedwhite: what will you as a man do if your wife get too rude and full of abuses even in the present of your friends and family members what will you do ?

When a husband abuses his wife in public, the general consensus is that she keeps quiet and refrain from making a retort until she gets home. I believe this tried and tested method is applicable to your question.

If you are not paying the bills, just respect yourself the same way a wife would. I expect every logical and practical person to understand this.

There wouldn't have been any need for this if the FG did not permit matters to deteriorate to the extent it has. I don't blame governors. It's not enough to chant one Nigeria if Nigeria refuses to address its issues. If the FG wants Nigerians to be nationalistic, it has to remove state of origin, any Nigerian should be able to reach her full potential in any region she finds herself, or better still divide the country if FG cannot assure us these rights. Till then I do not blame people that take on a tribal approach in Nigeria.

Can't marry a babypapa...eww!

I see coogar shouting traditional marriage rights.
Does African tradition allow you to sleep with your 'virgin' bride before the wedding night?

pickabeau1: Traditionally women have always been known by the men who had authority over them by their fathers and later their husbands

So Stillfire the daughter of MoreOxygen will be known as Stillfire the wife of PourWater when she was married

Oyibos introduced Mr and Mrs... thats all

It is even the effects of modernism that women can now compound names or keep their maiden names

Children are known by their fathers, don't make it a female thing.
Traditionally, men married more than one wife. In Igboland, the apt description of the woman is the daughter of... That is why women can leave their husbands house and go back to their fathers' house. In fact women are buried in their father's place. You are using Christianity to argue.

[url]http://books.google.com/books?id=04VwpwD7R_AC&pg=PA12&lpg=PA12&dq=are+igbo+women+buried+in+their+father%27s+house&source=bl&ots=8SAUZxFU13&sig=P0eNaRveOmzNiJ16bN8yXw8feNg&hl=en&sa=X&ei=G8DPU4arL4yWyASm7YDYAg&ved=0CB0Q6AEwAA#v=onepage&q=are%20igbo%20women%20buried%20in%20their%20father's%20house&f=false[/url]

And also the fact that you hear them speaking a their common language does not mean indigenous languages in such countries have not suffered the same thing Nigeria faces for having English as a lingua franca.

Until you Nigerians can decide on a common Nigerian language to use as a lingua franca, we would continue to have this problem.
For example Indonesia has over 700 indigenous languages, but their lingua franca is Indonesian, an old Malay language which first spoken in Western Indonesia I think. Can Nigerians choose an ethnic group language as its lingua franca?

onetouch7: This name change is alien (where I'm from), Our grandmothers were never called Mrs anything, it was mother of this; daughter of that, wife of this. This name change wey una wan kill yourself over borrowed culture.

This is the most intelligent comment on this thread.
I will always reiterate on threads like this how the British came to destroy traditional African structures to insert theirs and African men ran along with it because it asserts their authority without being checked by our assertive foremothers who had the rights to boycott any policy brought on by patriarchy. The irony today is that the British who brought these alien traditions today have their women being spoilt by choices while African men still want to hold on to rules and regulations alien to their original traditions.