₦airaland Forum

I remember the day my daughter woke me up to gladly announce "I washed your car Daddy!" I had tears in my eye. I pray for everyone reading this. That God will give you the grace to enjoy parenthood.

AbelAbdul:
Good morning everyone.

I was here on this platform in 2019 seeking for advice concerning Transportation business.
I eventually went into the business and it was a sad experience. You can read my previous threads for more information on the business.

After the collapsed of the transportation business, I venture into money lending business.

I lend money to people with the hope to get a refund with interests.

Since 2019 I went into the business, I have lent money to over 20 people and only 5 have refund the money.

Those 5 people who refunded the money, it was a fight before the refund.

Before I lend money to people, I make them sign T & C documents.
Some signed the hard copy others signed the softcopy.

When it is time to pay off, they refuse to pay. I have called them severally. At a point I told them to pay only the capitals and forget about the interests.

At a point some will make statements like "Don't disturb me. Even Federal Government owes. It is debt not stealing".

I had made arrangement that this December I will arrest some of them.

But recently I read on this platform that the police has no right to arrest anyone over debt.

Please how can I get them refund my money without involving the police?

Yes, the police does not have the right to arrest over debt but they (police) can arrest over "obtaining by false pretence" which is what we call 419. You can report a case of obtainig by false pretence.

Also, Lagos state has a Small Claims Court. You don't need a lawyer and their cases are dispensed within two weeks. Walk in there and make a report. They will be summoned and if they refuse to turn up, you can get arrest warrant for them. The small claims court is at Ogba courthouse. Just go there and ask for it. Again you do not need a lawyer for that.

Ebafication.

impactValue:
Greetings, good people of Nairaland

Please I need a piece of honest advice from experienced nairalanders, I am a Software Engineer, I got an offer from a very close friend (He is like a brother to me) of mine that resides in Dubai to come and manage a club he co-owns to enable him time for other activities. I will need to learn how nightclubs operate since I have little or zero knowledge about the nightlife. I have the freedom to pick up side gigs (or remote work) when I can and He is not in any way restricting me but he needs me to learn the business with him.

The plan, in a simple language, when I learn the business well enough he will pull out and open his own so I can be his manager since he doesn't want recognition.

He paid for my flight ticket and was the one that processed the visa for me (tourism) and he is currently working on how my visa can be extended and my work permit too.

Before I came to Dubai, I applied for this opening with a tech firm in Berlin. I completed the last stage here in Dubai and have been sent the offer but I will have to relocate to Germany because the work is on-site, the company bare expenses regards flight ticket, travel insurance, visa process et al. The start salary is 56K euros per annum (gross).

Also, I resigned from a bank as a development specialist (full-time staff not yet confirmed though, was earning 450K naira net with other benefits) prior to my trip to Dubai. I was doing well in Nigeria because I earned a total of up to 800K (with all my works combined) just that the work ethic (the bank work) is toxic to me because you will work your brain out debugging code, plus I am looking at a good place that I can start a family when I am ready and Nigeria is a no for me unless I have enough money to send my kid abroad to study.

What do I do now that I am already in Dubai? I am passionate about tech and I love the echo system. Please any input from experienced fellows will go a long way for me.

Thanks in advance. Mod please help so I can get as much input as possible

From your write up, you are too advanced to be seeking advice from nairaland.

DispatcherLagos:
TBH the MD may not have a hand in this. It's very possible that the staffers have been robbing him by having customers pay directly into their account and not registering the transaction so as to conceal their crimes. However, after realizing that the said young man had died, the quickly buried him[size=8pt][/size] in a shallow grave and because there are no record of him lodging in the hotel, they felt they can get away with it . Meanwhile, let's wait and see the outcome of the autopsy

These are my thoughts too. Nigerian employees can put into the kind of trouble you never bargained for! They must have acted out of panic. One story said the guy was ill before coming to write the exams. I believe the hotel owner is innocent.

wfjimmytobby:
I meet this girl around September we got so close and have always spent on her, going shopping and all that and always tell her how I feel.

She do make demand from me and have always responded..but I suspected that she has lots of suitors trying to get her and even her ex..cos she told me he is trying to get back so I decided to demand for sex so we can get serious but she refuse and said she is not ready and that I should wait but she keeps requesting for assistance and even wants me to get her a new phone cos her previous phone got spoilt and all..

So I need your advice should I wait for her to be ready to give me her body and keep on assisting her or should I just give up on the relationship cos she might actually be trying to scam me or something?

2 months and you're already "spending on her"? Tomorrow you will come and seek for advice about your one year marriage and how your wife disrespects you because you are no longer giving her money as before abi?

You've made money your only strength in the relationship. Therefore it has to continue to be strength all through the relationship. That's how it starts. Apparently, you're looking for a prostitute.

TundeWX:

The sad truth is there's nothing you can do,there's no child welfare programs in naija unlike other more developed countries.the only thing you can do is to find an NGO around and report the case.but bear in mind that the victim(wife) and people around will blame you(maybe even accusing you of sleeping with d wife sef) for interfering in a "family matter" if the man is locked up,its sad but thats the way things work in Nigeria.seen it happen many many times,it never ends well.
Like I said earlier...there's nothing you can do.

Actually a lot could be done. Lagos state has a domestic violence response team. OP, tell the woman to go to Alausa (ministry of justice), ask for the sexual and domestic violence response team. They are very effective and responsive.

Dear OP. It is ok for you to get angry and refuse to eat her food. It should be temporary though.
1. The truth is a new business requires consistent funding for up to three years or more if it has to grow.
2. Since it's just two of you now, manage to hold the family with your salary and as much as possible, let the business grow. (I'm assuming she is managing it diligently.
3. What you are experiencing is normal for most marriages. Not meant to scare you but you need to start putting your feet down from now else it will be too late!.
4. Since you are growing a family business, both of you MUST develop the habit of budgeting. Once you agre on what to spend, stick to it no matter what!. You must be firm but not brutish about it.
5. Take charge now by letting her know why you must not expend beyond certain limits and stick to it. By the time she realises you are a man of purpose and decision, she will gradually key in.
6. You must ensure the business is being run prudently. Take a course in accounting and small business management and get her to do same. (Free on YouTube)
7. You need to show leadership. That's what she is yearning for. Things are not easy but with a firm purpose and a clear roadmap, progress will come gradually.
8. Again, take charge of your home now otherwise, the dangerous journey of regret will set in and it will only end in ruins.
9. Don't ever regret marrying her. Seek solutions to any issues. (Issues plenty for life o!)

Very easy to stop. Follow my guidelines below.
1. Call the wife from work and tell her how lucky she is to have this kinda hussy.
2. When you get home and they invite you again, after dinner, make a speech; thank the man profoundly for being such a cute, intelligent and caring husband.
3. By the man an expensive perfume.
4. Call the wife after the gift and ask her the following questions;
A is her cute husband romantic?
B how long does he last in bed?
C how long is his ***k?

No be person go tell you to go back to your village after this. That feeling will jus die. Especially if the wife is a correct Igbo woman. (Note; I am Igbo so this is not an insult to our women)

Advice for the young; marketing skills can make you the MD of ANY company (including a bank!).
With only engineering skills, you can only become the Head of Engineering department.
Since you studied engineering, please embrace marketing.
Depends on you though. Lack of marketing skills is one reason why many startups with wonderful products never make it beyond five years.

She still has poise, grace and she is still elegant. See that smile!

See wahala! Did we counsel you to start sleeping with her? Why are seeking to make a decision based on public opinion?
Please make your decision and take care of your child.

An Afghan proverb: "there's no how you will look inside anus and you will not see poopoo".

That's the reason why. Those guys will always find a reason to book you. No matter how up to date your documents are.

The one turning his head upwards and the one wearing American flag pata have crossed the border already. Those ones are not coming back again.

YourWriter:
I met this girl in the beginning of 2021 and our bond of friendship has grown strong since then. I never had the intention of dating her to start with, but as times goes on I found myself catching feelings.

I really do want to let my feelings known but I'm scared of rejection. Besides, this girl is like an anti-relationship activist. Most of the times her posts on WhatsApp is mostly against love and how she's not ready to get into relationship.

Also, as a beautiful person she has lots of options which includes rich guys with lexus and Benz. Although I'm also not broke but I'm far below the level of her suitors. What I could say is my only advantage is that I'm handsome.

Should I just go ahead against all odds and let my feelings known or I should just let the feelings die?

I don't think you are ready for a relationship. Reason? You are soliciting advice from social media means you are not decisive yet. Go, improve on your decision making capacity, then make your decision.

Please update; Idris Derby (Chad) is dead.

When you were cooperating with them to change election results where was your independence?

Kabiyesi is now a wailer! The worst thing that happened to Nigeria is lack of opposition! If you talk, they will say you are supporting PDP.
#BringBackAbacha.

smartxyz:
Walk date is something that is not considered in this part of the continent, especially here in Nigeria, our ladies don't consider anything a date if there's no food But I think its not all about going on lunch or dinner dates, you and your date could head out somewhere scenic and go for a walk while you get to know each other.


So guys what do you think about walk dates?

Different name! Those days in the village, when your girl is sent on errand by her mother, you follow her there and back. What is that in english? Errand date?

OverCalculating:
Hi Everyone,

I took a loan from a Microfinance bank sometime in 2019. The loan was N600,000 and I was asked to pay back on a monthly basis for 8 months. I had actually requested for 1.2million naira loan to get an important tool/machine to enhance my business but I was only offered 600k. With 600k I could not afford to get the tool, so I diverted the money to another business. After repaying a portion of the loan for few months, the business failed and I could not afford to payback afterwards. The business was meat distribution to households and offices. It failed because of inadequate structure that gave way for customers to receive products but not pay back. Debt killed the business. I have been struggling to survive since then.

At a point, I called the company early this year, when I got a new job that I know the months of my repayment have elapsed but I am ready to start paying a percentage of my new salary, but they insisted I should pay in full since my repayment is overdue.

Recently, I have been getting several threats from the company asking me to make full payment or else the case will be reported to the police and I would be jailed for absconding with the company's money. I know I am indebted to them but I can't afford to refund all the loan now since I am only managing to live with a job that I am doing now which I earn 40k salary. My concern now is that I need clarifications from the legal practitioners, IT experts and public prosecutors in the house on the following:

1. Is this case truly a criminal case as they constantly remind me or is it a civil case?

2. Can the Police actually track my location to arrest me as they threaten? Please note that I use a small Nokia phone and I am in a remote area outside Lagos.

3.What is the worse thing that can happen; so I can get ready for it because I am not financially buoyant now to cough out 600k now.

Thank you all.

Don't wait till you have all the money, start repayment immediately. If possible, borrow from friends/family to add to your repayments; it's called show of good faith. And that would be your best defence anywhere. While you are repaying, write them and give a repayment plan. If possible get a lawyer to help you with this; you are safer if you spend money upfront rather than waiting for their legal department to write you first. But make sure you have paid something regularly!

Once your repayments become regular, you will notice that the threats will stop. Regular repayment is the key since you let them know you earn income now.

If you gave post dated cheques that "bounced", they could sue you for that and it is a criminal case that carries 2 year sentence in Nigeria (no matter the amount on the cheque).

If you make regular repayments and the threats continue, report them to Lagos state human rights commission. This will inhibit them from getting you arrested. But again; proof of regular repayments must be shown! The commission will end up forcing them to accept your repayment plan.

If you could accept a 40k job when your own business failed, it means you are a humble and resilient person. Don't give up on your dreams, finish the repayment and relaunch your business again. I see success for you because the worst is over and you've learnt how NOT to do business.

Suggestion; if you have someone that can sustain you, you can pay 30k monthly to your creditors. If push turns to shove and you show proof that you are repaying 30k out of your 49k income, that will be more than adequate to prove that your intent was not to defraud.

Olam09:
What does it mean when your girlfriend update her WhatsApp status with Tiwa Savage's music "Somebody son go find me one day" i commented saying what about me and she said it's just a song.. this is a red flag for me oo.. is better somebody's daughter start finding me too.. i no chop breakfast.

If you've found her, go and pay her bride price. Then if she doesn't remove the post after that, call me and I will tell you what to do.
NB: if you've not paid bride price yet, please understand that there is no "finding".

At that age, validation, companionship and acceptance are much more important than sex. However, some people have high sexual urge at old age.
You need to engage with your Dad; if he's not getting companionship from your Mum, if he's not getting sex from your Mum, if he's not getting respect from your Mum. These could be triggers. Remember you mentioned he wasn't like this earlier? Find out what changed for him.
If you are uncomfortable with these enquiries, get them to counsellors.
Alternatively, you can go brutal; stop giving him upkeep money for two of them, give it to your Mum instead. And just give your Dad pocket money.

Warrior14:
I will be getting married in 3 weeks time but I'm not happy
I'm getting married to a man who has beaten me two different times. I'm getting married to a man who is heartless and doesn't know how to love and treat a woman right. I'm getting married to a man who does not have a mind of his own.

I'm getting married but I'm already thinking of divorce.

I'm overwhelmed! I'm physically strong but I'm weak.
Just don't want to wake up from my sleep so I won't have to continue with this marriage plans as I can't stand the shame of calling off the marriage at this time.

I will be brutal; you prefer to die than to be alive in "shame" of a called-off marriage? RIP in advance

Are we so dumb we don't recognise this is scripted?

Missing Naeto C's music. His collaboration with Asha remains one of my best Nigerian songs of all time.
Lemme play "things are not the same" now.

I was using and enjoying Tecno Spark IV. I don't know what carried me to "upgrade" to Samsung galaxy AO2. My regret started after I inserted my SIM. If a call comes in, you have to wait for 6 seconds before you see the caller ID. It drags like hell when streaming video.
When it automatically upgraded to Android 11, it became worse.
However the adaptive screen (brightness automatically adjusts to the environment) and no useless unwanted apps are the only reason I'm keeping the phone.
I will change to a Nokia at the right time (money).

Go to Lagos State citizens arbitration centre and file a report. He has NO right to break into your apartment even though you are owing. There's a legal process to evict tenants. If he has not followed it, then he cannot forcefully evict you. Lagos state is taking that issue very seriously just like domestic abuse.

Lamanii22:
This is one bad thing I discovered recently about myself, I yell at him when I am trying to prove a point, no insults but my voice is always high.... Then I feel bad about it afterwards....

Simple, it's any of:
1. You don't love him. You only feel infatuation for him.
2. You have personal issues with a male dominant figure in your life. (Your Dad, Uncle, Big brother, Boss etc)
3. You are immature and NOT ready for a relationship but he is "forcing" it with too much love, or too much attention.

Simple but true: fellow men, please take care of your health. If you develope a chronic illness, the same family you are killing yourself for will see you as a burden. In truth, you are then a burden.

You are more useful to your children when you are ALIVE and HEALTHY!

It's only the living (and healthy) that can solve problems o! If you are alive and sick, you become part of their problems. Do you want to be part of the problem or the solution to the problem?

Euthenesia is not an option in Nigeria. Your pains must be deep. Look inside yourself and make a decision to go through this storm. This is your promotion exam. Please give it all you got. Look for one kind hearted lecturer in your faculty and open up to him/her. God always plants helpers when your storm comes. Don't close up; you may miss a helper. Speak to as many people as possible for help. Do not be ashamed to beg. Beg doctors, beg lecturers, beg neighbours, beg cousins, beg in-laws. Forgive (and I mean truly forgive) those who can help but refuse to do so. Accept ANY help from ANYWHERE!
Believe me, I see you motivating other people in pain sometimes in the future.

On the other hand, older men (like me) we need to take good care of our health for the sake of our families. Remember you are the most important thing to you! If you are sick, you automatically become a problem for the next generation you're killing yourself for. Life happens though.

As you go through this, do not loose sight of your greatness in future. This is your promotion exam. Though slightly different, I passed through similar test of strength. You may not agree with me but ...all things work together into good for those that believe. Please pass this exam.

adesegun121:
Endtime parent wey born Endtime pikin
Now come to endtime show

This Life No Balance

But na balanced equation you give above na?

May 1 1998. 3am. I was on night bus from PH to Lagos. Between Benin and Ore. The luxury bus (belonging to the most popular transport company in Nigeria at that period) slammed into a stationery trailer carrying concrete slabs . Driver, conductor and passengers in the first five row of seats all died.

Before then, I always sat on the first row of seats in a luxury bus anytime I travel. But on this particular trip, as I went to buy the ticket at PH, as soon as the ticket attendant asked me; what seat do you want? ( I was number one on the ticket queue just because I must chose seat 1, 2, 3 or 4. But as soon as she asked the question, I opened my mouth but nothing came out.

Everyone on the line started shouting at me to chose my seat and leave the queue. I struggled to speak but nothing came out. Someone from the back shouted that I was starring at the beautiful ticket attendants breasts. Still nothing came from my mouth.

In punishment, the ticket attendant (was also shouting at me now to make a choice so she can attend to others) assigned me seat number 44. The very last row on the bus. And ordered me to leave the queue. I left in shock; me? Seat 44? But I was temporarily dumb.

That was my saving grace.

3am, between Benin and Ore. I was asleep. Suddenly BANG!
I still (very clearly) hear the shrieks, cries and moaning of the dying till this day. The night was pitch black. I have a slight scar on my face from that. Because I was in the last row, I was thrown forward and hit my face on the floor on top of some object.

Another bus quickly stopped and offerd those of us with minor injury free ride to Lagos.

What struck me with dumbness when I wanted to claim seat number 1?