₦airaland Forum

anything u can do do it.
tell his family he is not at home, call any of his friends. tell your family etc.

someone close to him and you can be of help.
send him a voice mail or a text.
just do something to show you are touched.

couples fight and do make up.
some times one of the partners is the peace catalyst.

it cld be you, just show some maturity.

u know what? I have a story simila to urs.

but if u maintain such thoughts u may find urself in some big trouble.

my last date is causing me some heart ache now, I sent her away; ie ended the relationship & got into another, only for me to relize that I somehow loved her. I made up my mind to stick with the present and make smtin out of it

know all
funny aka name!
I will make a note on what u said so far. my contribution will come at the end of the current governors tenure. because from ur submission its what a successor does that scores a predecessor's.
thanks for ur empty banter.

this woman has shown a strenght many women lack and that is what is making her man uncomfortable period. its not easy to maintain calm like that. if he is my man I tell what to do!

I made up my mind to do just that and I am having the worst period of my life.
I used to date my ex-girl and i got to know my current girl just a few months after I met my ex, and cos i was already involved, I did not allow the relationship with my current to develope then. but after sometime, I found out my heart is not in taking the relationship with my ex further, and I informed her so. I have to mend fence/ start something substantial with my current girl. I found her to fit in to what my heart wants and I proposed.

now, my ex has continued to disturb me, sending me text with sex conotations, saying she is waiting for me etc. I asked her to move on with her life, face her work and school and to get another lover as she claims not to have had sex for four months since we parted.

my stand is to move on with good progress than to be in circles, dating for fun when u know and see the girl does not meet your mark.

pls will everybody on this thread keep quite.


the key and the key hole which should feel superior?

the finger that soot the etching ear which enjoys the contact?

a guy dont feel anything close to superior it happens he got egos

boy my best take on this is,

face ur worst fear, which is "she might leave u"
look fear into the eye and fear no more.

then pretend she dont exist, forget her for somewhile.

she has the gut to slap because she wants/ have control in the relationship.
let her be and get control for ur self.

the worst she can do is leave for the other guy and the time she asked for is time to spend with the other guy.
allow her time to compare.

you say u loved her, let her out, if she returns then she is urs.

as a matter of policy, I don't pick her calls and I don't pick anybody's call.
the only call I allow myself to pick is my cell phone or the house phone.
any time her phone rings even when she is in the bath, I let it ring or I take it to her.
the only time I speak into her phone is when she gives it to me to talk to some one.

becos i already carry on this way, she has no choice but to respect that policy.
I have found out that whenever you pry into her privacy you get bitten so hard you hate yourself.
so better let lying dog lie.

boy what a lot!

from what u wrote about ur ex- girlfriend, its boils down to the girl is possessed

a girl that sleeps around, tell lies and the steals

boy u met a girl that was initiated into something at a young age maybe while she was in secondary school.

well if u venture to know her next boyfriend advise him to sent her for deliverance.

I can relate to ur case.
I once was bed wetting but the stop long ago while I was in SS1 after I attended a christian program. actually my case was called out by the pastor, I raised my hands and got my healing. but traces were there but I stood by my faith and that was all.

Bed wetting is caused by a weak bladder key. I called it key because I am short of the right word. When ur bladder gets full while sleeping, in ur semi conscious state and most time u find urself dreaming of urinating but on waking up u r wet. at ur age u v to take more responsibility, while u pray for a healing of ur bladder key do the following.

1. limit ur water intake when the day is getting dark
2. make sure u empty ur bladder before going to sleep
3. find a means to wake up frequently in between ur sleep to pee.

If u r a heavy sleeper then u need to put in more work. always force a pee out dont let it gather.

u can use an alarm clock, let ur mate wake u frequently.
or let ur doctor show u how to fix a urine bag. even a pampas may help.

Good guys abound but they come in packages that not attractive to you.

but you need to understand that underneath these are diamond yet undiscovered.

find and read this book " wisdom for single ladies" I forgot the author but its a she.

the summary of the book is that THE MOST STABLE OF GUYS THAT WILL GIVE YOU THAT KIND OF LIVE YOU DESIRE ARE THOSE GUYS THAT LIVE A SEEMINGLY UNEVENTFUL BUT RICH LIFE. GET TO BE FRIENDS WITH THEM IST, YOU FIND THEY RESPECT YOU, CARE FOR YOU BUT WILL NOT TAKE YOU TO A PARTY. THEY LIVE WHAT YOU WILL CALL A DULL, TRIANGULAR LIFE.


I had an experience with a girl friend of mine. one night we (my cousin, she and I) ate out after which she demanded we take her to a night club. I hardly go to night clubs but my cousin do on a regular basis, my cousin supported on a strong term. after I yield, but on getting to a club i was not comfortable and i ended spoiling the night for everyone. but the whole stuff got me thinking. maybe I am getting myself into something i may not be able to cope with. well I v put some distance bwt us presently.

@ ewoma4good

better be a good neighbor.
if the girl is cheating, then its ur duty to find a convinent  means to inform him.

because definitely he will find out and he will be cross with u too.

the cheated partner are always the last to know.

I had an experience while in school, I caught the girl of a friend cheating with another friend in the same click.
when I found out I did not talk but the day my friend found out, He count out I & one other that did not sleep with he girl and to god I dont like the look on his face. I was keeping the peace btw them not knowing the depth of her crime.

I was focus on my dreams and I examine our relationship, there was no future and I can't be in deceit.
so I forced myself to get bored just to encourage her to get another.

the only girl u shld treat right is the woman u v married.

are u flirting with one dont be wuss or else u loose her.

be nice but hard to her, if u treat her gentle she will start behaving like a spoil t brat.

put ur feet down and u get her respect & love.

gentle be careful, if u must go v6 then go toyota. I drive a v6 honda engine rover salon. mine came with auto gear but its manual because when it got bad after a slight accident I cld not get a good replacment. now mechanics are finding it hard to repair my timing after my timing bearing got bad. my legend engine rover is a bumber on the road but where will u fly to. fuel consumption is better with manual than auto. well cars are all about luck then ur handling.

ur strategy need some refining but in ur haste u missed the best opp to find the koko.
had gone ahead with the call on discovering that the number exist in that phone wld have given the cat out.
try to see if that opp can be repeated.
call her again but dont be the ist to speak/ just pretend to cough, check to hear what she wld call him on phone because she will think its him calling.
make ur self known them pick it up with both of them.
be wise & tactful in ur deals here because u may be the loser.

Hello I hope to get to read what I am about to say to you.


1. ur wife is the obstinate type, though a christian by your summation but too stubborn to see issues from others point of view. such dont pose a problem to a man that knows what to do or handle them. from the content of ur writeup, I can see u lack some knowledge of ur wife's psychology. meaning u dont know her at all. my bible say deal with her according to understanding; there are issues about ur wife she will always wonder how to get to know about it. u know her to the extent that every move of her is not strange to u. u predict her not her predicting u.

2. if any body shld be evasive it shld be you. this is an impt ingredient of leadership.


my advice.
if u dont have patient then u have to learn. 1. to be patient, 2. to observant, 3. to make notes of ur observation, 4. to be transparent but keep things to urself, 5. to respect her space.

after all these: then in a loving and caring voice, over time keep telling to change on those issue u want her to change but u most list the benefits of such change.

device a lot of things u do for her that u know she likes/ loves, not things u think she will like.
do those things to the level she gets used them.
then when u have proved she always want those thing then withdraw from doing those things as a punishment anytime but still get back to them.

buy books on child and women psychology. it will help u, why because u may not be able to convince her to visit a psychologist so u be one.

Let the truth be told here.
its easier to change the woman than the woman to change the man.
the man got ego problems to deal with ist. in most case they stay clear from the matter but in secret enjoy their fill just to maintain the peace.
but the woman will change when she weighs her potential lose to the issue at stake.

blossom to ur surprise the dud is thinking the same thing. doctor or not most guys that r not into babe thing full time always fight with thoughts of " am I gud enough for her".
I once met a cute girl and on walking her down the street we were not talking for like 30mins till I asked her if she was shy! u know what i was shy too and that was how I broke the ice and had a wonderful time with her.
get into that relationship with him knowing in part that what u r thinking of urself is also at work in him too.

@poster
there is more to this than the eye can see, trust me,
1. She does not want a 2nd child, why? shape, career and what else,
2. She runs away with her only child to her moms house.
3. She has parted ways with the marriage.

I ask,
Are you sure that baby girl belongs to you?
Are you sure you r prolific to father a child?
Are u sure she is not an ogbanje who dies at the birth of another child?
Is she from a broken home and what influence does her mother have on her?


I can ask many question just to get u to look beyond what the eye can see. her true reason may not be what she says.
but on ur own u get to research her motion, motive and action vis-a vis what u know of her long before now.

go get sm experience. u want and dont want, thats stupid and clever guy saw that and took a walk, now u r crying.

babes are vultures thats why they like trash, dead meat, carcass whatever you call it. birds of same feather fly together. but if u r a good guy and u want a girl then u may have to wear wolf over clothing. but if u care to remain in ur sheep clothing then u may to wait for a long while for the cool headed non vulture kind of girls to look ur way. trust me they exist.

go take a therapy. life is like a flowing river, flow with it.
he was ur husband and u must have shared a lot wt him even ur body.
bible said u were one wt him, u know what it mean? that the reason he is still in ur system.
taking a therapy from an expert is a biginning, go start something that makes u get on in live

jayflex, u need to go on a course on woman psychology. u can open ur eyes and observe all the ladies arround u or join a team of player to learn quick. the real issue here is that making a woman love u is and act that can be a part of u. visit http://howtosucceedwithwomen.com/badboy-dvds/returns.html or http://artofthepickup.com/promo/jN0OOw2ZGts9O1m/dvd1.html.
enjoy.

from my opinion, a wife material is one that can balance the traditional role with the modern role of a would be wife and mother. though no lady/girl may major much as the case may be but a husband material can make her aim for the best in her and help her bring out the angel in her. a husband material have to be a father and a lover to his girl/lady. he should balance this two and his girl will ever love him for it.

this is a time you avoid anything personal with people, I advise u do all the chatting on the tread, lift out that load on ur chest here on nairaland it better than giving some good for nothing jones opportunity to gock on u when u r weak and down emotionally.

well no matter what THE FUTURE IS BETTER THAN YESTERDAY; get thee up brush and powder ur face, attend a show or a concert if not possible watch a comedy or cartoon. cheer up sis.

Ugwumba u v bin noble all the while and u played the friend so well but ur job isnt finished yet. as much as u play careful not to get involved b/w husband & wife matter, the matter is no longer them matter but a social matter which still have hope of a happy end.
bad that she did what she has always done in the past & somehow the husband comes in the know. i deduse a lot from ur story 7 i make my case;
1.every problem has a solution but if a person keep on running away from the truth cum solution of the problem then expect repetition of the problem at every opportunity.
2. every problem has a root cause. the repetitive nature of the problem is a pointer that the root cause is not yet known & or implimented.
3. running away may give u a temp releive but watch out that problem will soon shot up.
4. if the relationship matters so much to u & is something u want in a deeper sense, breaking up will injure ur health in the long run.
5. staying put in the relationship without proper address of the problem will also injure ur health i the long run too.
6. finally some women hav this way with them, that they r ever emotional, childish even with serious issues & not strong internally.

based on these point, my take or rather advice for ur friend tru u are as follows;
1. he shld get some space for himself to punder on many issues sorrounding the problem, its time for a soul search & problem analysis.
he shld tempoary let the wife off his presence until he had gotten a enough info of himself, the wife, the recuring problem, the children well being and the relationship.
2. he has forgiven before, & doing that again will not kill him but rather will be a launch pad to help the woman help herself.
3. he will sure need therapy or consult with expert, go buy books that deal with issues linked to the problem; he is not the ist nor will he be the last to have such problem;its already in a book.
4. then prepare himself well for the time to take the make or kill decision based on my 6 point above.
no matter the end of it, he shld write his book to educate those coming after, thats while the white are good because the keep records.

well this is my take and may not be pleasing to a lot of guys but as one that is aspiring to be a family consultant in the future, saving family is my joy.

everthing and all things, its so confusing that women are so insatiable. infact they dont know what they want from men.
today its this, tomorrow is that and the next day she is crying like a child ( really throwing tantrums).

don't be suprise if that friend of yours beat you to proposing to her.

are you sure your friend is not on same purpose like you

open your eyes my brother, go and investigate the story and your friend,