₦airaland Forum

MarvellousGod:
@bolded, he seriously needs to

This kind tradition

thanks for the correction jare my sister.

Like seriously

The poster above must be kidding right? Orisirisi.

Oga o, I don hear another one today. If this is real, Op you better take to your heals and find your square root.

Bplati:
I'm from a Muslim background and so is my hubby. We have two children. My family is liberal and allowed us to practice whatever religion that pleases us. I'd been going to church even before I met hubby who was also a church goer. Hubby's family is very strong in Islam and had threatened to disown us if we don't practice the religion. They even want to sponsor our pilgrimage to hajj but we are not interested. We started playing diplomacy by pretending to be who we are not especially when they are around or we go visiting. Right now, I'm not even going to church neither am I practicing Islam because I'm fed-up. Isn't religion about serving God? Why the superiority in religion? Can people serve whoever God they prefer?. I fear for my kids because I really want to raise them to know God. Its really affecting me psychologically and contemplating relocating with the kids.

Pls advise me.

Op please let the word DISOWN sound to you like they are going to wipe you out of the surface of earth. You are no longer bearing your maiden name and your husband is now man enough to make decisions. You both have your own families now and responsible for every actions you take.

Go ahead with whatever religion you choose too and feel very comfortable with. No one has any right whatsoever to threaten you on which religion to go by.

You don't have to do anything, just keep your stand and remain confident. Best wishes

When I saw this thread I laughed so had. But some of you posters above me make me laugh more than the pix. You all are bunch of pretenders, I wonder what's so disgusting or irritating about the pix that's making you scream hell. Like you don't poo ar see poo.

Be REAL jare and QUIT being fake.
@op that babe no try at all. Can't stop laughing.

OluwaChinenyenwa:
He is. His mum still dictates his moves, well not every moves.. His mother knows i am not the kinda girl she is gonna want to mess with

And am not surprised at all. And this is how the resentment and unnecessary defense starts. Soon we will here how it turned out physical with your mother inlaw.

For the LOVE OF GOD young lady you are yet to be married and you already carrying this dirty and nasty thought up in your head.

Its just so so unfortunate. Good luck to you in your quest.

capricun:
This one never ready to marry.

You don't need the advice

I tell you. And am not surprised at all. And this is how the resentment and unnecessary defense starts. Soon we will here how it turned out physical with your mother inlaw.

For the LOVE OF GOD young lady you are yet to be married and you already carrying this dirty and nasty thought up in your head.

Its just so so unfortunate. Good luck to you in your quest.

OluwaChinenyenwa:
My father's family cant be involved cause they don't even know me.. The rift was between my father and his folks. Ok this is it, my father is the only child. During his service year, he met my mum who is igbo and stuffs led to stuffs and they started talking about marriage which his father refused because mum is igbo.. His father cut him off when he finally got married to my mum and its been that way till date. Never been to my dad's place, dont even know where the place is cause he doesnt even talk about it..
The infos i got was from my mum.


My parents would like to do the traditional marriage only if its going to be in London, but my MIL said she wants us to come back home?? Isnt that absurd??

No it is NOT absurd.. Nigeria ia your country and your fatherland. Its your fathers country and fatherland either he was cut off by his father or not. You still related to them by blood and nothing will change that. Come home to your fatherland and do your traditional wedding ( it can be on a very low key ) let your dowry be paid.

Either you do that or you walk out. The engagement doesn't have to be done in your father side or mother side. You can get a small hall or open filed anywhere in lagos and have it done.

SAMBARRY:
It will make her look like a bad belle person who is jealous of her

Hmmm my dear, and if I tell her she could accuse me of same thing. If she is wise she will find traces of a married man in him. And how are we so sure she doesn't know he is married and playing along in the game.

No be my mouth them go hear say lizard kill elephant oo.

Wendy80:
Hello E-family,
I need you guys to help me with this issue cos I've been disturbed for some days now.‎
‎Last week Tuesday my colleague came to work looking so happy, gisting us about this guy she's bn seeing for some time now, that he's getting serious and we were all happy for her.
On Monday this week, she came again gushing about her trip to Obudu last weekend with her guy‎. During lunch break she showed us some lovely pics they took and I was so shocked to see that the 'Guy' is actually someone I know, my friend's husband(married with 2kids). 
While others were like 'aww u look good 2geda' 'he's so cute' 'I'm happy for you' and all, I was short ‎of words.
I told my hubby what happened and asked what I should do. He first had a good laugh and asked if I want to break a home‎, that I need to be careful cos if I tell my friend and she doesn't handle it well friendship is destroyed and my colleague will be offended if she discover her 'guy' is known to me and I hid the information. 
Now my Dearies, what do I do?
Married Men, what will you advice‎ ur wife in this situation?
Singles like my colleague what do you expect of me Pls?‎
Wives, if you were in my shoes what will you do?‎

Sorry for the typos, not easy typing with phone while @ work jare.‎

I will definately mind my own business oo. And I would make sure my colleague at work knows am not in support of her relationship with the guy.

If only EVIL could be engraved on the forehead of evil doers. Wicked and heartless soul.

The devil herself.

Shininstar30:
My church wedding coming up dis year and I don't know where to start

Hello. Wouldn't mind being one of your vendors on your joyful day. Here is an offer from Boash cakes and events.

Yesss o, Boash Cakes and Events is at it again,and this time
around its a BIG ONE you can't afford to miss.
For our 2015 brides, Boash Cakes and events in conjunction
with L'poise Beauty Palace got your back.
Here is the deal. Book for your traditional and wedding
cakes with Boash Cakes and Events and get a FREE make up
done for the bride for BOTH traditional and wedding events.
Hmmmm that's not all, you still get your cut out cakes for
250 guests absolutely FREE.
So what are you waiting for Hurry now and make your
bookings.
Promo runs from now till OCTOBER
Boash Cakes and Events.
Meeting your demands at all times and exceeding your
expectations exceptionally.
Contacts - 08061385853,
BB Pin - 33313FAC.

Onegai:
@ chiefwedslolo and others,

We spoke to someone in the industry who advised us to send a text asking for the refund in 10 days' time. Which we did and I asked my uncle who's a lawyer to draft the text simply asking for the dresses and the refund. The designer replied just now that she will refund the deposit and my poor bride is now going to rent a gown, 2 days to her wedding, 6 months pregnant. Sigh.

I would certainly advise brides to buy ready-made, even though our people complain about lack of jobs and money, they behave badly when given a chance. We don't understand customer service.

I strongly believe we should use this thread as a place for referrals (though it may be abused). I know great people who do great jobs and I would like to let brides know.

Thanks guys, let me go pet my little bride

Glad you were able to sort things out for the bride. Wishing her all the best on her joyful day. And also wishing her a safe delivery IJN. Love to the bride and the coming baby.

Ewuro4:
I didn't do anything dear and I'm sorry.

Just hear him out first.


#CC I miss you

cc.. Toonoisy ,Lyndaroyce, Tayour, Greatgod2012, Madame, Bebe2, Naijababe, Damiso, Efemenaxy, Edwife , coogar, TV01, Peakabeu(?) , Bellong

Thanks sis for the mention. Though I have little experience so I hope my opinion helps.

@ op,this is what I think you should do which I will also advice my blood.

Do not fight him or mention it over the phone reason being that you might act wrongly or say things you will later regret.

Keep calm even though it hurts and go on with your life. When he returns welcome him well (manage to put on a little smile) for the sake of your kids. And let him eat,bath and rest well. When its time to sleep, let the cat out of the bag. In a very smart and calm voice. Walk up to him and tell him you found something that you are sure belongs yo him,then hand him the condoms and leave.

** if he calls you back PLEASE that moment don't answer just leave the room and sleep in another room or with your kids BUT not outside your home. You need to leave his presence for that night to avoid the consequences of anger.

You would have him begging and apologizing all night and till the next day and until you forgive him. EXCEPT HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU ANYMORE.

You do not need any explanations (it will only get you more angry and feel more hurt )

Its either you forgive him or not.

Rip to the baby. My sympathy to the parents as well.

Hello. I need a shop/ office assistant in a new outlet I just opened at abule egba.

Job role will be to assist while baking and after baking.
Run errands to shop for materials
And also attend to clients in my absence.

Age should be between 16 and 20 years.

If interested please call 08061385853. Or add up on 33313FAC.

Thanks.

I heard the kids have been found. I so look up to God praying hard its true. Been catching cold since I heard the news. Oh God in heaving hear the cry of this innocent children and bring them home safely IJN. AMEN

Happy easter house. Wishing everyone a fulfilled easter celebration.

Ewuro4:
Tayour I won't leave until you delete that post jor nitoriolorun

Deleted sis. Ese gan ma.

crackhaus:
Anger is really something that does a lot of damage if not handled properly, it's even worse for people with total or borderline narcissistic personality.

Once both are kept under control, patience and tolerance becomes an inevitable outcome.

As always, I have never implied that there are no troublesome and insensitive MILs but it's not something that should result in verbal or physical exchange... certainly not!


Thanks for sharing your story.

Life they say is beautiful,we only live it once.

Ewuro4:
Happy Easter yall

(((Hugs Tayour))))

Plenty hugs for you omo iya mi. Have a wonderful easter celebration ma.

edwife:
Tayour it is well,you are a strong woman.

I don't think it was necessary to write about your personal life,you do not owe anybody any explanation as everybody here is not perfect.

There will always be people who will not like you,the best you can do is to ignore.

ONE LOVE my sister. Lots of Hug for you ma.

crackhaus:
@Taryour

Wow!

I don't even have the words to describe the emotions that reading this has evoked in me... Wow!

It is well. I just know that in the long run, the truly good people always get their reward.

And you shouldn't let the negative vibe from some posters get to you, I could see from your replies that you were trying to keep it calm.
Stay true to yourself ma'am.



I chose not to quote your post, in case you decide to delete it.

Yes bro and thanks for not quoting me, I will definitely delete it soon. I just needed to let few women here know that for a lot of ppl,growing up wasn't rosy at all and because of that life did not end life continued.

I try my best to post to much onb niraland or insult anyone. All what I went through made me a very aggressive person and stubborn. My anger is bomb and I have learnt how to control my anger.

having my own business has also taught me a lot,to be patient and tolerant.

My hubby has made a whole lot of impact in my life and I adore him.

My MOTHER inlaw is a gift. I LOVE HER with my life.

My kids have taught me a lot as well.

crackhaus:
Anger is really something that does a lot of damage if not handled properly, it's even worse for people with total or borderline narcissistic personality.

Once both are kept under control, patience and tolerance becomes an inevitable outcome.

As always, I have never implied that there are no troublesome and insensitive MILs but it's not something that should result in verbal or physical exchange... certainly not!


Thanks for sharing your story.

Life they say is beautiful,we only live it once.

Shollypopzz:
So, you lost track of your thread because some people referenced the other thread?? When I made a comment on your thread, you were asking me insulting questions about my mum and how she'll will respond if her MIL slapped or how I will respond if my MIL slaps me?

Why were you asking me about "slappations" when your thread had nothing to do with physical violence?

I have already responded to you in best possible way and in a matured way. You insulted me earlier and we both apologized. So I really don't see where all of this is coming from. The thread someone made reference to and this thread doesn't have any much difference. Its still same wife and mother inlaw issue.


If you have an issue comprehending it then please take a walk. I come in peace and do not get into fights on nairaland.

Shollypopzz:
Did the op(taryour) lose track of what the thread is about?? What has slapping got to do with the original post? Did the op create the thread to vent over the Mr perfectionist thread??

The DIL in your story didn't hit her MIL, or are my contacts playing tricks on me?? Why are people carrying over feelings from a previous thread to another?

Don't get me wrong and attack me wrongly, someone made reference to a thread where a wife had a quarrel with her mother inlaw. Please go back and read the 1st and 2nd page. Where I replied coogar and cococandy also tagged me on a link on that thread.

At the long run,it all still boils down to how we treat our mother inlaws.

TooNoisy:
The point here is that the MIL did not make a ridiculous request. What is so difficult with giving her a few pix. I am sure wife already gave her own family some pix but wife was raised to think MIL are witches who must be defeated. Wife probably forgot her own mum is someone's MIL

I tire oo, the more reason I dint comment on that thread. Because of a mare pix. If she demanded for the whole album sef isn't any big deal.

FynBabe:
Madam, I no get time for plenty talk jare! If you have it very good, congrats! If you don't, keep working at it! If you have done yor best and it is still not working, face front! You don't force people to love you.

My sister, u and I are matured women I believe. I am not disputing the fact that there are bad and worse mother inlaws. I have heard a lot and even though I haven't experienced any.

My point is A WIFE has no right whatsoever to raise her hands on her mother inlaw or throw her out in the absence of the husband same goes to the husband. No matter how provoked the wife might be.

If its and older adult who is not related in anyway is different case entirely. but a mother inlaw is a no no.

FynBabe:
The thread can not achieve much because it is full of hypocrisy and unbalanced views. Some of these Nairaland women make me laugh! They come here writing perfect stories all the time because their husbands have
access to their password. I laugh in spanish!!!

Because you might have a bad mother inlaw doesn't mean every other woman on this forum also has a bad mother inlaw.

Or are you insinuating those with good mother inlaws shouldn't post on nairaland

Lol. I still have 3 of this coolers. Even though the body and cover don suffer but still very very active. Keep food in it and it remains hot for the next 9 - 12 hours.

ifyalways:
I'm blessed with a wonderful MIL, however, I'm not ignorant of the existence of horrible MIL's and DIL's.

Love is not bought or sought by force. If your MIL/DIL have for no reason refused to accept or love you, I say ignore her. I don't like the idea of raising hands on the elderly, no matter the level of provocation but then again, we are all different and react to anger in different ways

Nobody holy pass.

Sis good morning o, quite a long time. How are you and all yours? Trust you all are doing great. Good to see you.

Beetle:
This is such a bias thread obviously created by women who are loved by their MILs and you'll having a gripe at the women from other thread because of the comments they made is so immature of some of you.

People are shaped by their very own experiences. You can't use yours to judge other people. Every relationship is unique and people are different.

I still had an argument with my mum days ago and we were both sending messages back and forth expressing how we both felt. My mum can forgive me easily coz at the end of the day im her daughter, she can't throw me away. I can never have that sort of relationship with my MIL, but my MIL's sister she loves me to bits and I love her as well. So there it goes. What will you do if someone is hell bent on not liking you. Hate your guts so much and drives home each time you don't have a child and you wont be the only wife of her son. Sit there and smile and take it, curses you like it's the end of the world. I guess you won't want to have a relationship with that sort of woman. Anyways I'm done with the sort of thread. Women having a dig at other women and pretending they are high and mighty. Who made you lots judge?

And is it by getting physical with mother inlaws,beating them up,hating them,throwing their things out, that solves the issue What ever happen to ignore or walking out of the situation till your the hubby can handle things.

No one is disputing the fact that some mother inlaws are wicked and unbearable but please there better ways to solving issues as such. A good example is the link cococandy tagged me in, after all her mother inlaw did to her,she never raised her hands on her. Her husband took charge of the situation.

cococandy:
No this one is a different story but on the same thread
Just click on the link.

I'm still with you on the not returning violence for violence. I am anti-violence.

This one is a story of a woman who did practically what this baba in the story told the girl to do but instead the MIL paid her back with worse treatment. Are we going to act like such things don't happen?

Me I'm even saying the lady was tough to insist the MIL goes to a homeless shelter that day or the marriage would be over.
Even though I may not be able to do that if I was her, I can't judge her for it.
The MIL clearly had it coming and would probably have continued if the DIL didn't stand up that one time and said her piece.

Sometimes tough love is what works

Oh sorry sis I just read that story. Even though both stories are different. Truth be told the wife acted very wisely for not going physical with her mother inlaw or throwing words at her. The husband as well took the best decision there.


On the cake, I only glazed the top with caramel and returned it back in the oven for another 2 minutes, you can use melted chocolate as well.