₦airaland Forum

Hmm. . . was this topic influenced by the movie 'Sitanda' in any way? Just wondering. . .

@walelead
why would oprah report on muggings in south africa? it makes more sense for her to report what 's of greater concern to her viewers, most of which are americans.

there must be zero tolerance for such crimes if we are to go ahead.  
just walk into any cybercafè in lagos and ull see scammers at work. IMHO, we should thank oprah for making more white ppl aware of internet scams. . .

walelead:
Oprah is one annoying loud-mouth anyway. She has achieved her goal

walelead:
@christino,
is it news to you that Oprah hates Nigeria, and so do the Williams sisters

Oprah has supposedly made a lot of negative statements about Nigeria but sings praises of Ghana and Saffa

ok, lemme get this straight.
it's okay to broadcast home videos depicting Nigerians in acts of ritual murders, voodoo and 419 on Africa Magic. It's okay to massively export such movies to the US and the UK. It's okay for Nkem Owoh to do a song glorifying 419 and for Femi Kuti to sing his hit song 'I sorry for Nigeria' in South Africa (BBA finale)
But!
It's wrong for Oprah to report on something that really occurs on a grand scale in Nigeria?

Cafes in Lagos are filled to overflowing with these criminals and all sme of you can think is for us to sweep these thingsa under the rug?

@debosky, Ugwumba

you guys make nice points indeed, but I must disagree with on one point alone. shows like these serve to make viewers and the general public more aware of these kind of crimes. 419 is so attractive to many because they see so many making money. if the source of money begins to dry up,  it'll eventuallly die out.
everyone does business to make money. imagine a 419 guy who spends N60000 on browsing monthly. if he goes 5 months without making a cent, d'you feel he'll need much prodding to give it up?

@Backslider
I think you're in the wrong place. this is a Nigerian forum and this thread is dedicated to discussing the 419 problem in nigeria. I really don't give a rat's ass about what's happening in ghana or how many americans do this behind closed doors. we have a prblem and we've got to figure out ways to solve this. also, it's a terrible breach of nettiquette to post in caps.

people, EFCC will never stop 419 in naija. now, most cafes in lagos are raided weekly;they arrest people who are then set free the next hour after the relevant bribes have been passed. corruption is deeply entrenched in nigeria. the only way 419 willl die out is when the mugus wise up. even now, it's getting harder to 'hammer', unlike the glory days of 2003. there will never be enough jobs for all.
let's keep d suggestions coming! but please, let's cut down on d tribalism!

@jockey112
nice one! I loved your 'fire triangle' analogy. removing the mugus from the equation will definitely help!

@peace4ever
you're addy clear example of people who encourage the spread of thievery, all in d name of 419. you claim u see nothing wrng with 419 as long as no one gets physically hurt. so what about the trauma of losing ur entire life savings? a bricklayer in the UK hung himself some years back after being swindled of his life savings of £50000 by nigerians. or what about the old couple who got swindled by Nigerians and didn't have money to pay for heating bills during winter? they froze to death (saw dis in readers digest). what about the thousands that die in africa just because churchs and aid groups in the west are now wary of sending down money to african charities for fear of 419? what about the foreigners that are beaten and killed in lagos when they come aound to see what's up with their 'investments'?

@Backslider
when did I say there's no fraud in the US? please read my post again. it's not as if it's so hard to understand.


I'm currently in lagos, enjoying a much needed rest. i've been to about 5 cafes so far, and all of them are packed full with scammers yammer on and one about 'magas' and 'mailers', pausing only long enough to cast distrustful and suspicious looks in my direction. in the whole café with like 15 ppl, i'm the only non-scammer there. and that happens in all d cafés I've been since I got to afican lagos. some of these guys  are still in secondary school!

so much for the 'government not pproviding jobs' argument. . .

I'm so disgusted at the way you guys have turned a topic that just begs for intellectual discourse into an igbo bashing thread. Why? As someone said before, the Whit eman doesnt know igbo or Yoruba, all he cares about is that these people are Nigerians.

Some say the Government is to blame fo not providing jobs for these 419 guys. But that's a crazy line of logic. Nigeria's not the only country with rampant unemployment, and how many 419 guys are satisfied with making 2 million naira a year (which is comparable to what u make if u work in a bank)? The greed is insatiable!


if the truth be told, WE all are to blame for this 419 explosion, and i mean that. ALL OF US are culpable here. Let me explain;
I grew up in Benin City, and i can tell you that up till the late '90s (probably mid-90s if you grew up in lagos) 419 guys were shunned as social pariahs and thieves. Suddenly, these guys started being THE men, we started accepting this canker in our society. Instead of being regarded as little more than common thieves, WE turned them into our heroes, people to be admired and envied. With this stigma removed, loads more people flocked to join in. As k yourself if we haven't grown more tolerant to these guys in recent times. As i speak to you, 80% of the girls in any Nigerian higher institution will willingly date a 419 guy just cos he's got money to spend. It's a simple matter for Banks to regularly check on accounts with over 2 million naira in them belonging to people between 18 - 21. But this just isn't done.
A new employee in a Bank is given a target of N100 million by his branch manager. where else will; he get that kind of money if not from 419 boys? and when they help him out, he becomes hopelessly compromised, he'll continue to launder money for them for years to come. I don't know where the term 'yahoo yahoo' or 'yahoo boys' come from, but that certainly isn't a derogatory term. I think we should call it as it is and call them 419 or thieves as we used to.

I don't know why some of us are blaming the victims. I see no reason why we should call them greedy for trying to get easy money. isnt that what we do when we buy Zenith Bank and Dangote shares and hope they double in value? Are we greedy? Go read most of these letters, tell me how you can call a man greedy if he's been told he won a lottery or a rich relative left him money. The victims of the Hurricane Katrina scams, are they greedy too?

Someone said other countries are corrupt too, and someone else mentioned the US. The clear difference between Nigerian corruption and American corruption is that corruption in the US is nearly non-existent in the middle and lower strata of the society. Most times you hear of corruption there, it's likely the big corporations, industry moguls and CEOs. In Nigeria, corruption permeates all strata of the society, down to the guy who makes you bribe him before he sells you fuel during fuel scarcity. WE have the more serious problem, because we're corrupt through and through!

We should thank Oprah and CNN for doing this, instead of crying about Nigeria's image being tarnished. The truth is, the only way 419 will stop is if everyone out there is savvy about this kind of thing. I'm extremely happy that this was broadcast on Oprah, a programme with such a wide viewership, because it could probably help reduce the number of such scams. When the mugus wise up and the trickle of money dries up, these 419 guys will have to seek another source of livelihood. So the more the word is spread, the better for us in the long run.

Crazy logic, but it just might be true. . .

. . .in related news, it seems that Roma just dialled 1-800-Asswhupping, and that ain't no toll-free call. . .

. . .and the sad thing is 90% of the posters here had never heard of Sparta before, 89% will walk away believing that it really was 300 men against 1 million (wildly exaggerated number). and why rhinos and elephants?!

here's something closer to the real story
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Thermopylae

user86666:
Hey Tex, she also said

so Mr Tex Voltron, defender of the universe Ladyt, thanks for expressing your intellect, its overwhelming

No problem, sissy boy. I think that when someone has this

Beauty may open my doors but only virtue enters my heart

in his signature and next he goes round sniping at someone's looks, then he's got to either be a hypocrite or just plain confused. . .

i'll go with the former, you've proven your brains before.

sasha4u:
jus be glad it is even happening: people are never satisfied. ah
da lady is breaking her back to put all of this together and people are just sitting there complaining, its very disrespectful

I should be glad this thing is happening? I should be 'satisfied'? Why? This add value to my life? possibility of e even seeing this is remote.
in my short visit to the website, i failed to see any noble goal behind this thing. besides, if you're touting something as 'Nigeria's next top model' at the very least make it accessible to most Nigerians, not a niche group in the Uk.
besides, our most famous exports (oluchi and agbani) didn't come from rich homes. how would they have gone to attend something like this?

Go attend your pageant and stop complaining! When you step forward for a show like this you expose yourself to all kinds of comments. if you're too tender-hearted to roll with the blows, you need 2 have a rethink.

next we'll hear all the people who sang rubbish at the West African Idols audition will be asking us to stop making comments.  yeah, even the fela guy!

That said, it's still rude to heckle. I never do that anyway. Wish you loads of luck and success.

Seun:
It's the cost, silly! If solar panels were affordable, the same hated generator importers would be importing them!

you beat me to it, nyugga!!!!!!!!!

oyb:
thats not for certain.solar panels do not run on fuel.they do not require servicing or spare parts.a lot of folks(generator sellers ,maintenace because and petroleum product dealers have a stake in generators.

if you look carefully, he said 'if solar panels are affordable'. the initial cost is prohibitive,e specially if you want to generate any meaningful output.

I swear i've never seen so many self-righteous people gathered in one place. this writeup was pretty hilarious ever since i first saw it in 2003.
i just don't get it, how is this supposed to portray Nigerians negatively? why not castigate Guardian or vanguard for their online news pages, which show the true rot in our society? any ape can go to www.thisdayonline.com and read about the latest electoral fraud and the latest politician killed.
Most of y'all here watch home videos, which do a great job of portraying Nigerians as killers, ritualists, prostitutes and drug dealers. I've never seen any of y'all here complain about home videos portraying us in a bad light. Now you come here just to sound off, but in reality only showing the rest of us normal people how stifled, how dead your sense of humour is.

Nigerians. . .

anyone have any idea how much a 4kva gen would cost?

not everyone has 50k, agreed. but nowhere will any computer savvy person call spending 50k on a computer 'excessively expensive'

and you call these 'gadgets to die for'?
get some mindblowing stuff and then we'll be wowed.

last I heard, someone said d gals here aren't d actual contestants. no one's called d contestants ugly so far. . .

I really think this kinda thing should b held in naija sha

All these astral travel geeks don't have work to do!

Jen33:
Pain, I feel your pain.

For your idea to work, a large number of people would need to be trained in astral projection. This is unlikely to happen as the big conglomerates that profit from physical travel like car makers, aeroplane manufacturers like Boeing ETC, are powerful and influential enough to stop any such mass re-orientation of the public dead in its tracks.

Perhaps only after they've destroyed themselves via their greed and bloodlust, will mankind be able to freely access such inherent qualities we all have.

I understand that there are many technologies out there that would ensure free heating, free fuel for all etc etc, but are being BLOCKED from public access owing to the 'catastrophic consequences' on those that benefit from the sale of current products and services.

You are perhaps the dumbest person i've come across in months, and that's not an insult! Car manufacturers and aerospace giants like Boeing make their money by transporting people's bodies to different locations and you're here spewing you demented psychobabble about them trying to cut down on Out-Of-Body travels. how would their sales be affected if you could send your spirit to Paris? Would you be able to eat or sense anything?
There's a way to speak to someone many many miles away. it's called the Telephone. perhaps you've heard of it?

@Pain
You're working on teleportation and require 'equations' for astral travel abi? Perhaps you need to seriously start thinking of the theme color for your padded cell.

My Scary story. . .
February 1st 2004, Umuahia, Abia state. I was doing my NYSC at that time and Manchester United were playing Arse-Anal. As a staunch Man Utd fan, that was a match i couldn't have missed. I was staying in The Catholic Corpers Lodge, and also moonlighting at a guest house with a friend of mine. the guest house was like 300metres from the 'Viewing centre'
The match started at about 10:30pm, if you know Umuahia you'd know that the roads are empty at around 8pm, so by this time the road was empty, but there were over 20 people in the viewing centre so i felt it was pretty safe. . .
The match ended 3-0 or 3-1, after 12 midnight, it ended on my birthday (feb 2nd, my best birthday present!!!), so i started going home. to my profound horror, i found out that all those people there were all off duty okada men, they zoomed off on their okadas and left me alone on that dark road.
I jogged down to the guest house, pounded on the gate. i'd forgotten they lock the gate by 12 midnight and they don't ever open it until 6am. I knock tire, no answer. I didnt carry my fone because of fear of theft.
So i started jogging the 1km distance to the Catholic Corpers lodge

Scare #1
100m down the road, a police pick up[ pulled up beside me, 2 cops jumped out and levelled their Mark IVs at my head! I nearly shit myself. They roughly demanded to know who i was and where was i going? i told 'em i was a corper and i went to watch the match, and that i was heading to the Corpers Lodge. They asked me to reach into my pocket slowly and brin gout my ID card. I did that and gave it to them. One now asked the other one to search me. i'd forgotten that earlier that day i had won a big pocket knife in the Guinness promo and it was still in my back pocket. COme and see the look on their face when they pulled out this wicked looking pen knife. I hastily explained that i won it from the promo. The guy looked at me fo rlike 1 minute (almost shat myself once again) before telling me to go home. i speedily complied!!

Scare #2
About 600m down the road, i was already recovering from the poilce scare when i started really getting scared abt how quiet and ghostly the whole place was. all the tales i'd been hearing on flesh-eating cannibals and kidnappers/ritualists started surfacing. it didn't help when i jogged past a house and saw an old woman raking leaves together and burning them. What kinda person would be burning leaves at 12:30am? And she looked so witch-like. the next house had like 3 youths outside talking in hushed tones. all fell silent and watched me jog pass. I come dey fear, come dey regret say i go watch match that day. The next thing i knew, something moving very very fast flew just above my head. you know the kind of noise and disturbance u feel/hear when someone throws a stone very close to your ear? that's what it felt like. But this was somethin gmuch faster and silent.
Every single hair on my body (from my head to my nearly hairless ass) stood on end. see d kind fear wey catch me, eh? I didn't wait to see if it was a bird, an arrow or a low-flying witch. I kicked my palm slippers ahead of me, caught them midair (in a move even Jet-Li couldnt have done) and took to my heels. I'm pretty sure i averaged 50mph!! Even worse, i was running uphill and my heart was pounding like crazy.

Scare #3
I got to the corpers lodge, everyone was sleeping. . .! I nearly renounced Manchester United then and there!

I hammered on the gate and someone finally woke up, where i was led, shaking and gibbering some incomprehensible stuff about witches and policemen and Arrows and bakassi boys. . . the only thing they could make of this was that Man Utd won


And that's my worst scare ever!

@trini_girl
Perhaps beating dummies of Judas and self-flagellation is what they do on your island, but i've never done anything like that, or even witnessed such a thing. Stop tarring everyone with your own flawed brush.

Jesus died for our sins. His Blood washed our sins away. so that's important! His ressurection showed victory over death, and that's important too.
there can be no resurrection without death.

anyway, i've wasted more than enough time on you. . Happy Easter, everyone!

Guys, get a grip! This has been circulating round the internet for years, i actually saw this stuff in 2003. Even then, that's a humorous way of putting things. There are loads of other stuff Naijans perpetrate that's on display on site the average oyibo is far more likely to visit. check out www.419eater.com


So take a chill pill and regain your sense of humour!

user86666:
LadyT, now is that beef. . . . or jealousy?

That bit of idiocy was totally uncalled for. All she said is Nigeria has better to offer, and she's absolutely right.



The Website says apply for this if you "Want toBreak into films and acting - Nollywood the world’s third largest film industry"
confirming what i've always known. we stock our movie industry with talentless starlets and then moan that we're not given serious consideration in Cannes. . . .

@moroni
I fail to see how multinational oil companies in Nigeria to do business efficiently and economically and make a profit are 'agents' of the federal government.
and take it from me, the bulk of the monies paid out by Oil companies in Nigeria today goes not to chiefs, but to 'youth leaders', 'youths' and 'activists' who routinely use thier rabble rousing powers to shut down work at oil installations and make fantastic demands. usually, it is far more costly in terms of Non Productive Time to ignore their demands, so they usually get some form of payoff.

If you, as you say, deny the federal government of its oil revenue, are you so blind that you cannot see that simulataneously you're starving the south south of its oil revenues too? or are you so morally corrupt that you cannot see the injustice in seriously hampering oil exploration and production of these companies while your state cheerfully extracts the same taxes from these companies?

Ask yourself, what can be done to develop my state, and ask yourself if truly the billions these states get in 13% derivation isn't enough to seriously reduce the level of poverty in your state. also ask yourself why your state governments haven't been taken to task over this issue yet.

So this is what Arse-Anal fans are reduced to; ghoullish vultures who creep around cackling at the 'misfortunes' of better clubs. . .how sad!

Guys, please don't forget to tune in to Supersport 3, Arse-Anal will be playing their own champions league match tonight. . . against Eagle Cement!

I really pity these gooners, the battle for third place seems to have heated up with liverpool's resurgence. .

Since when did WAEC, GCE and NECO replace TOEFL as a benchmark of your english speaking abilities?
Keep this scam stuff out of here, nyugga!

mukina2:
@9ja4ever how many men played against Barca last year?

abeggi go siddon una don lose finish

At least we get second leg to play. una play just one champs league final, despite the ref cheating for arse-anal and bein gone goal up, una still lose. at least when we lose we don't give press coferences whining about refs and free kicks. . .

yeah, if these chumps try and charge exhorbitantly for 3G, it'll flop faster than you can say Jack Robinson, !

It all begins when the country's brightest, most highly qualified inhabitants, the young dynamic professionals, citizens who have the potential to make good leaders, get together and examine the country's problems, the state of politics and the long-term national prospects.

What happens next?
They decide to emigrate.

And after that?
Another group of bright people get together.

What do they do?
They also emigrate.

And then?
And so on and so forth.

What does any of this have to do with a Nigerian election?
When talented, smart and highly qualified potential leaders leave the country all the time, who are you left with?

Retired baskteball players? Toilet comedians? Bad actors and actresses? Spoiled vicious rich kids? Ageing and debauched hermaphrodites?
You're now ready to hold a Nigerian election.

How important are elected officials to Nigeria ?
Nobody's been able to figure out an answer to that one.

What's at stake in a Nigerian election?
Prizes and surprises! Millions in cash! Dream houses! The vacations of your choice! Fun for the entire family! That's from the politician's point of view.

How many positions are waiting to be filled in the coming elections?
About 17,000 public offices and a still undetermined number of graves.

So it's like a lotto?
Sort of, except that when you lose you could lose your life.

Who are qualified to run?
Anyone at all! Generally, any person of any citizenship who's alive, of a certain age, good character and able to summon a mob huge enough to intimidate the Supreme Court.

What kind of candidates have the most chances of winning?
ARTISTS who have the CONFIDENCE of the people.

You mean 'con artists?, don't you?
You said it, we didn't .

Who are qualified to vote?
Anyone at all. Typically, anyone who's willing to be bussed around and go a hard day's work visiting a lot of precints during election day.

Talk about parties in Nigeria
Everybody loves going to parties in Nigeria.

No, POLITICAL parties
Oh!. Well, in the past there used to be only two parties, the Liberalistas and the Nacionalistas. Now there are several dozen, but they still all fall under two main parties: the Sosyalites and the Opportunistas.

What's the difference between the two parties?
Sosyalites love parties. Opportunistas will join any.

Explain what this year's presidential elections is all about
Did you hear the one about the murderer, the thief, the incompetent and the idiot?

No, is that a joke?
That's the presidential election.

You're a cynical bastard, aren't you?
No no no, we're not running for office.

Why are there so many international observers who come to a Nigerian election?
They're fascinated by all the strange phenomena which accompany it.

What are you talking about?
Miracles are a dime a dozen during elections here. Vicious criminals suddenly become saintly leaders. Voters fly. The dead cast their ballots. Morons become national leaders.

Why is the Church so closely involved in elections?
They're also interested in studying the miracles. Also, priests are needed to administer the last sacraments to all the people who're killed.

Nigerian elections sound like they're really violent and bloody
Not really. Not more than several dozen die on the average. Why that's only a teensy fraction of the population! And everything blows over after election day, so the country can bet back to its usual kidnapping, wholesale graft, hostage taking and coup attempts.

How clean are Nigerian elections?
Let's put it this way: if Nigerian elections were your house you wouldn't want to live in it.

What are guns, goons and gold??
Three traditional important elements of a successful election. There's a new one: film credits.

How come this pamphlet doesn't include a question that goes "why can't all candidates just jump in the lake"?
That question looks like it was just gratuitously put into this article for very naughty purposes. We decline to answer it.

How can you tell an election outcome is suspicious?
Power failures in very specific rooms where the counting is taking place. Numbers that start losing zeroes as the days go by.

Can't the candidates, out of the goodness of their hearts, put a stop to crooked elections?
You really ARE from another planet, aren't you?

@puree
No probs! I must commend you too, you used more smilies than anyone else ur short post. . .

Both myself and Lafem reiterated our points several times in the course of our discussion. Mine was the only one that caused you discomfort simply because we had differing opinions. Besides, what else can you do in an argument? I actually intended to post just ONCE and get out, i couldn't resist replying Lafem.

Anyway, i'd be wrong to boast. like i always say, 'there's always something bigger'. even Obasanjo can't cough where Bush stands.

anyway, no ill feelings. Dunno about being a lucky star, but i always try to be of help. . .sadly i'm a lot more controversial than helpful most times (ask my friends) but everyone needs a friend. . .

Where's Lafem? time for a Group Hug!!!

Hugoboi:
If u'd be damned to pay such price then i'd be damned if i u get a genuine sony or samsung tv.Get real man,thia aint Uk or the Us.This is Nigeria

Negro, don't be stupid. I didnt ask YOU to get me anything, so let that settle through your thick skull, then swirl it about a bit, willya?
When i see a 40 inch LCD tv for 1000 pounds, i expect the same TV to cost N300k max! 300K still gives at least a N50000 profit margin on top for the sales person, especially since they end up getting 17% VAT refund. transporting these things in bulk reduces the transport prices to a minimum. I almost bought one myself, but i changed my mind, only when i saw the outrageous prices i started regretting.

That's why we never progress. That's why we'll never have a consumer protection agency here in Nigeria, because retarded idiots like you'll run off at the mouth with such inane statements.
I know value for money when i see it. Hell, if i can't get it off some reasonable salesman here, i'll prolly pick it up in Tinapa, duty free shopping has to mean something. . .

@globalaid
I need to get a 40 inch samsung or sony LCD at reasonable prices. I know how much these things cost in the UK and Us so i'll be damned if i pay N400k for them in naija.
Lemme know

Negro hush!
That's an old listing, and thaty's for the Sony Ericsson W600i, reviewed in 2005.
It won the award for 'best world phone' not 'best phone in the world'.
Even CNET that compiled that list gave it a score of 7.6/10, which is good but not great.
156 owners of the phone gave it 7.1/10 in the user review column.

go check out the overwhelmingly poor reviews SE p990i has been getting. My friend bought one and has since sworn never to buy another SE phone again. in this day and age, which other smartphone do you need to go into the menu before you hard reset? the firmware in his phone crashed, and he can't even flash it because you need to do that online.
imagine what Sony Ericcson is doing. they shipped the p990i with lots of bugs, to fix the problem you need to update the firmware. you can't even download the firmware and then flash, the firmware is flashed on the phone as it's downloading. if your internet connection drops in the process, you have a dead smartphone.

SE sucks!