₦airaland Forum

This is very sound advice. Well said..

Glamgurl:
The way some men or guys think sometimes amazes me. So nobody should marry single mothers abi? Fact remains that some single mothers are far better than some of your so called single ladies. Another fact is that not all single mothers are wretched and plan to inherit their spouse's properties, some single mothers are even richer than the men they want to remarry. So deal with issues generally and not based on particular cases that you know that ended badly. Some end really great and well.
Now to the issue of adoption, I don't see anything wrong in adopting her child, there's nothing binding in law that the man should be financially responsible for the child neither is the woman asking for that. She might want a change of name for different reasons. If they want to travel out of the country as a family for example, the child having a different surname will pose a problem and to avoid criticism or the child feeling out of place when they all grow up. Another point is that the man and his family are not even interested in the child so what's the point keeping their name?
Let us stop stigmatizing single mothers, no woman wishes to be in that situation. There are single fathers too who remarry, I'm sure they never planned for their lives to be that way. A lot of men/women are victims of horrible relationships and marriages with pretenders, they would have been deep into the relationship/marriage before discovering they made a grave mistake. You that you are judging today, you never know what will befall you maritally which will not be your fault. Even pastors divorce and remarry. STOP THE STIGMATISATION ESP. TOWARDS WOMEN!

If you had asked , should you adopt your WIFE's Son legally, the question would be easier to answer.

The only reason I see for you to be skeptical is as per how it affects the biological Father I.e if He has a say in the matter.

I think there may be a case for legal adoption based on His irresponsibility and the fact that they were not legally married. However, I would want to get the Father's perspective and make it as smooth as possible.

I would also want to know why it is important to your Wife to be, there might be other ways of addressing her concerns and reassuring her fears.


Otherwise, people are adopting even Children of other races, talk less of a child that was carried and born by your own wives womb, the same womb that will hopefully carry your child.

Akv666:
Good day guys,

So I've been dating a single Mom for almost 4years now and we're ready to tie the knot, but recently she came up with a suggestion of me adopting her son legally. Her baby daddy has actually been irresponsible right from start, nigga last saw his son when he was 4months old and he hasn't even bought ordinary diaper for the boy right from when he was delivered.

Now I'm being skeptical about taking him up legally, please i need advice from you guys, no insult please.

Have we not noticed that the saner spokes persons , like Tolu Ogunlesi, have gone quiet(er), but it is the other ones like Garba Shehu & Femi Adeshina, that are still defending this insanity, with even more insane speak.

Officialhorlah:
https://punchng.com/buhari-should-address-nigerians-not-through-garba-shehu-dino-melaye/

Don't mind them. Highly unimaginative people.

People and Power Magazine , my foot.

Maxymilliano:
Arrangee award

When did it become the duty of the Ministry of Communication to announce the conferment of award to the minister by a relatively unknown private media outlet ?

She can run to the depths of the sea, it will not change the fact that She is divorced and there will be media attention, whether She sees it or
not; it's playing in Her mind.

Explorers:
Calivigny Island, Granada

Melinda Gates reportedly rented a private $132,000-a-night island so that she and her family would be able to avoid media attention amid her divorce from her husband of 27 years, Bill Gates.

The longtime couple announced their decision to end their marriage on Monday, writing in a joint statement at the time:

“After a great deal of thought and a lot of work on our relationship, we have made the decision to end our marriage.”

According to the outlet’s sources, the plan was for Melinda and the couple’s three children, as well as their significant others, to stay on the island, which Bill was reportedly not invited to.

https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/melinda-gates-private-island-divorce-b1843278.html

Hmmmm.... Thank God my curiosity no reach that level. Knowing that it's happening is bad enough for me.

Naijatask:
Curiosity perhaps? I was a teenager back then, and I've been hearing about the dark web.

So, I decided to surf it.

The worst of my experience was stumbling across a live video of someone beheading another person (the forum, was made for cannibals, who enjoy hearing the screams and agonies of their victims).

I was actually warned before I proceeded, but I thought it's just some pranks. Not until I waited after an 8mins countdown to a so called event, where people were being beheaded live, and cooked (the forum was like a food channel on YouTube's).

I sha left, after I saw the first beheading.

I could not sleep throughout that day and had dreams throughout the week ( I was merely 14 then).

There's so much more on the dark that has not been explored.

Sheik Gumi should show us the Quaranic verse that He is using to support this His evil encouraging statements.

Is it not obvious who the terrorists and terrorist sympathizers are in this country. Many Muslims, will not admit that people like Him are terrorists sympathizers because they have "Sheik" attached to their names. (Just like many Christians will defend any fool as long as they have "Pastor" attached to their name.) Religion that plays and dines with evil, is that one religion?

Sheik Gumi is one more reason why the country must restructure because any sane citizen can see His pronouncements reek of ignorance, incompetence at best and at worst, ill-motives, inequity and iniquity #SMH

prof2007:
,,

https://punchng.com/cbn-should-pay-n100m-greenfield-students-ransom-before-its-too-late-gumi/

No wonder many Nigerian Families are dysfunctional- so much unresolved trauma.

Kandeed:
He should have done what my grandmom did to my mum the day she caught my Dad walking my mum down the village square

Father shoulda open that her near loosed Anus and garnish it with Cameroon or Sokoto dried pepper

Why do you guys even know these things?

Naijatask:
Lol, The site I visited, contains mostly pictures.

One needs to pay using crypto currency in order to gain access to the videos.

We are talking about Divorce oooo. It's a totally different ball game from merely dating.

SanctifiedSista:
am not divorced nasty breakup

Please when was the last time you saw Her in the news for something that was not related to Her job i.e Nigerians in Diaspora? Mr Penchant

Trailblazer1:
This overbearing attention seeker always wants to remain in the news for whatever reason


Her penchant for social media attention will still be her greatest undoing.


Allow independent journalist investigate and break the news to Nigeria, not all these media packaging you're doing.

What shows his hypocricy? Your unfounded assumptions and conjecture? Please come up with a more logical argument as your suspicion is not FaCT.

SportsHD:
Let the clout begin.

If edris abdul karim had gotten the assistance from kenyamo, he wouldn't be singing yeye diss track wen most people no go care to listen to.

This shows the hypocrisy of the dirty looking igbo smoker.
If he was enjoying royalties from the obasanjo government then, maybe he wouldn't have sang nigeria jaga jaga sef.

Grace to grass is no laughing matter. I pray no one experiences it.

Very funny, the picture of a broke n**ga, sending His Wife and mother of His child packing... Packing from where? Poverty??

Richthekid:
Send her packing

I almost started this response with a long laughter, until i realized that you are truly troubled (even if unreasonably so) and laughing may come across as insensitive.

Still, I will start by saying you have not started having real problems in marriage , YET. What do I mean?

First of all, your wife is pregnant (forget the fact that this pregnancy, is being had in a broke situation and with the need struggle for food to eat. A lot about Her metabolism is changing right now and Her asking for Banana or any other crazy thing at any crazy time is PERFECTLY NORMAL. Deal with it, as a Man. Try and find the Banana, and if you cant, get a substitute or at least show that you care and that you put some effort. Don't nag about it, because you have no idea what it is like to have another human being grow inside you. Cut her some slack.

Secondly, you've highlighted other potential sources of unresolved issues (i.e> the types of issues that spring up in marriage when you least expect it. Some of the ones you mentioned are:

a. "i use to think that she just pity my condition" - are you sure still don't think that She thinks that way? Whether or not She does, this can lead to internal conflict which will always spill over to the external

b. "According to her, she was born in a poor family and can handle the pressure of been broke" -

*She may be able to handle the pressure of being broke with just the two of you dating, but by the time you both get married , then pregnant and needs begin to increase; were you guys also envisaging these kinds of pressures which can still exist, even if you are not broke?

** Also, that statement seems to indicate that you both expect to be broke, if not forever, but for a long time. However, one thing that can really enable a marriage is when you both support each other in chasing and achieving your dreams- otherwise, the chances of being bored with an unambitious or non-evolving or progressive partner is very high

c. "I was moved with her words" - it's a good thing to be moved by Her words, but they are not the only things that should move you. e.g. Did that make you feel like you wanted to be stronger and more capable for Her, in order to match her moving words (and actions) ? or did it make you think: "well since she is willing to have me, then let me have Her- because i doubt anyone else would have me?" What was it that really moved you?

d. "and I must confess that she is hard working but pregnancy came and this girl started misbehaving, she will not follow me to the farm again and will not even cook for me"

* So you admit She is hardworking but it was after pregnancy things changed - and you are still wondering what happened?
** Your wife is carrying your first child and you are complaining that she will not come to the farm again- don't you know it is time for you to double or triple your effort, as She already has a heavy load in Her? The two will soon become three or more.
*** So if your wife doesn't cook for you, will you not cook for yourself ? If you are not married and don't have a woman in your life to cook for you, so you will die of hunger? Oga better focus on your stomach and forget your ego- at least for now, if it is food that is doing you- there are more critical life issues
**** You are still referring to your wife as "this girl" and yet you expect Her to act like a Woman. Make up your mind to treat Her like a Woman, if you want to stop seeing girlish behavior


e. "infact, I'm tired of this life presently cos i use to think that she will help me but the reverse is the case now." -
*Help yourself first. Then help Her, maybe you will see Her help for you. "He that will win friends must first show Himself friendly"

f. "I want to run away from home but she is pregnant".
*So you want to run away? from what to where? If you like run, don't forget that the Child in the Woman's womb is yours, and you can never run away from that, but will only add another unresolved issues.
** If you want to leave Her, do it with your chest, not like a coward
*** P.S. Thank God you remembered that She is pregnant

g. "her people refused to help us too cos they warned her before."

*When you marry, especially in Africa, you don't just marry the person, but thier family, especially at the early stage when it may seem you are still proving yourself.

h. "One night, she sent me out of the room in the night" - For real? She SENT YOU OUT?? Or you couldn't stand Her nagging about the Bananas so you sent yourself out? I am hoping it is the latter for it at least shows that- as a Man- you have some control and autonomy over your life and cannot be Sent out or in, by the whims of anyone , even if they be your wife. Where is the love?

So what should you do? I guess that depends on your values. But, whatever the case, try and do the right thing: Which is the best thing for you, your child and your Wife (or the Mother of your child). Let responsible love, not emotions, lead.

I wish you all the best.

udoji2021:
Life is sweet generally but can be cruel to others.

I was once a happy guy with a bright future but marriage is practically killing me. It all started when I become sick and was admitted in a hospital. my aged mother was the person staying with me and was responsible for my everything. inside the ward, another patient was with this very beautiful girl that was very hard working, my condition was critical that my mother will have to bath me sometimes, this girl now started helping my mother and to a point, my mother will leave her to be taking care of me and go home.

I become close to her, but i use to think that she just pity my condition and wanted to help so I did not think of having any relationship with her. I was later discharge and went home but since we exchange our contacts earlier, we use to talk often. I asked her one day to visit me which she agreed. To my surprise, this girl brought some provision for me and slept over in my house. she continue visiting till one day, I told her that if i was strong and capable, I would have loved to date her. she confessed instantly that she was really interested in me and did not care about my condition. According to her, she was born in a poor family and can handle the pressure of been broke, that she will be the happiest person if I love her back the way she loves me. I was moved with her words and to cut the story short, we started dating.

Her parents were highly against the relationship initially but when they become tired of us, they allow us to do our thing but never involve them if something happened. fast to December last year, we got married. I was not even able to pay 1h to her parents. she just pack her things and join me in my house. we were the happiest couple on Earth till things started going north.

First, we agreed to do many things in the farm against hunger next year, we started with melon farm, then groundnut and yams. we were still on this and I must confess that she is hard working but pregnancy came and this girl started misbehaving, she will not follow me to the farm again and will not even cook for me. I dare not complain cos she will insult me seriously. sometimes, I will tell my sister to cook but this girl will not eat it because the food is bad.

One night, she sent me out of the room in the night that I must get bananas for her to eat. I suffered that night till I got it from one woman on credit cos I was not having money on me. last month, she was sick and visited one private clinic, I was to give her 10k for her treatment but did not have the money so I told her to give me 4days to look for it, there was no insult I did not receive that night. I have to sell my yam seeds and pay. infact, I'm tired of this life presently cos i use to think that she will help me but the reverse is the case now.

Please I need advice on the way forward, I want to run away from home but she is pregnant, her people refused to help us too cos they warned her before.

pls advice me

I don't know whether to be happy or worried.

Racoon:
https://www.legit.ng/1413643-insecurity-fg-set-to-partner-with-china-to-secure-nigeria-from-bandits-terrorists-others.html

No be iron rod oooo because that one go spoil the pikin pata pata!

PlayMaker14:
Spare the Rod, you spoil the child.


I will flog them and let them know that wasting of food is a sin against the order of Heaven.

Na wa ooo: Anger, Stern Warnings, Storming out and Drinking is now the measure of manhood. SMH

adadike:
See what you will do. Be a man for once coz I love real men o. Confront the lady angrily in the presence of your wife and warn her sternly on her mode of dressing especially in your presence
After this, storm out of the house and go for a refreshing drink

This is like using plaster to cover a deep wound. You are not dealing with the root cause but causing more problems.

As per Education, this is a very good time to begin to experiment with online and home schooling. Education school as we know it is changing , Fast!

jaybenugo:
https://igberetvnews.com/1388359/el-rufai-looking-building-schools-30-minutes-military-installations/

In other words:

1. You are happy when those you consider infidels and other innocent muslims are mindlessly slaughtered

2. Osama Bin Laden is a better Muslim than you

3. You support Al-Quaeda and Taliban terrorists

4. You will reap what you sow

Even though

Arewa1stSon:
Northerners are always on the defense online, never on the attack and that’s where most of our problems stems from. We need to fix up!!

One thing I know Is that Isa pantami will never resign or be fired!

I spoke with him and I'm happy with the conversations that ensured between us... That these animals are dealing with a very intelligent and smart creature!!

So let the media offensive continue!!

they're dealing with a Diallo!!

A Diallo is always Victorious!!

That's why we are called the vikings of Africa!!

Buhari,Elrufai others faced worse than this... Yet they're standing tall and powerful!!

We have already developed a thick skin against hate!!

In fact hate makes us more powerful... That why we rule and administer even in countries where we are minority!!

Power,success,victory,intelligence, and beauty is in our DNA

we are always Victorious!!

According to a former DSS Director, they did just that. Investigated His background and raised their concerns. It was left to Buhari and His rubber stamp National Assembly to act on it or not. The rest as they say, is History.

AHCB:
Of course his statements have great implications regarding the security of this country.

First thing first, if Pantami is to resign, then the heads of our security agencies too should resign, because they failed at doing their job in the first place. This is because they're suppose to have investigated him, go through his past, check his friends, family and better still since he was once an Islamic cleric, know his religious orientation and the likes.

It's such a shame that this is what we are seeing now. If the security agencies have done their job right and provided this information to the NASS AND of course, the Nigerian public, I'm sure he won't have been made a minister.

If I was Buhari, I would simply ask him to resign and sack whoever is heading the security agency responsible for providing security Intel on all ministerial appointees at the time of Pantami's appointment.

Great write up. Very insightful.

fergie001:
Before Pantami, there Was Abdulkadir Ahmed, a CBN Governor, and Others Who Secretly Registered Nigeria Into Islamic Group



Foundation of Investigative Journalism

This is why people fail exams, where in this whole article did anyone mention anything about SIM cards? You are just parroting something you read somewhere else.

Simplyleo:
The more they make noise about this Pantami, the more I prefer he remains.

If you are not a criminal, you shouldn't have problem linking your SIM with your NIN.

So because a strange woman is smiling at you, the first thing you are thinking about is commenting on Her breast?? You're indeed a pervert. THank God for saving your job though.

Babara1994:
One Tuesday morning on my way to work, I decided to buy some akara and bread. After purchasing my akara, I saw this young beautiful lady staring at me with a simple smile. Me that no lady has ever smiled at me, I almost went crazy and began to thank God for bringing this beautiful lady to me on a platter of gold.

She kept on staring at me for about 2 minutes. I was ready to shoot my shot. So I decided to walk up to her and tell her how sexy she was, flirt with her and get her number.

As I put my akara and bread in my bag, she made the move and began coming to my direction. Omo, my head wan blow. See as I dey thank God. I decided to first comment on the size of her boobs before any thing else.

Tears rolled down my cheeks as she first said to me, " You are Mr Seyi, my husband's
new employee, right?" I replied, " Thank you ma"

That's how I would have lost my job if she didn't speak first. God is good.
Patience is key.

Be enjoying, while the country is burning..

helinues:
We are actually enjoying their wailing as it dey sweet our belle...

This is some living in bondage type shit. What is the big deal about someone not responding on time, when it's not an emergency? Are you the only person or thing going on in Her life?? Please, try and get a life to avoid this kind of stress, where you will now be counting and multiplying minutes, hours and days.

Pernotti:
I hear a lot of complaints from guys regarding this so here's what you can do to sort it out.

First thing to remember is that never talk to her about it regardless of what anyone tells you or how bad the behavior makes you feel.. its very counterproductive because she'll never tell you the real reason she does it which is that she's just being mischievous. Besides it makes you sound whiney.

So let's say you send her a message and she takes 15mins to reply, then you should take 15mins as well before you reply her. Next, watch the time it takes her to reply that second message and this time around double that time before replying her... So if she takes 10 or 15mins to reply the second time, take 20 or 30mins respectively before you respond.

Sometimes she can be genuinely busy at work, then you can use your discretion and vary your own texting time, by sometimes responding quicker and other times taking longer to respond.

Happy dating.

Yes, i know what Emotional intelligence is. Do you know what Emotional UNINTELLIGENCE aND INDISCIPLINE is? It's what Bobrisky did, which necessitated all of that begging and apologies.... talking about discipline, Bobrisky was not the victim...

Williampisces:
if you know what Emotional intelligence and Discipline means, you won't ask such questions !!!

A: Define irony:
B: Irony is when you hope so, but you don't expect it.

OneTemplate:
Personally I hope so but I have learned not to expect the right things to be done by this government that seems unconcerned with what the electorate thinks.

Let us wait and see.

I like your writing style and the way you made your points... valid!

stancydg:
The above mentioned music reality show currently running on DSTV and GOTV platforms may likely be the "wackiest" (for want of words) music reality show in recent times going by the quality of opinions thus far by the jury, made up of a 3man panel of Obi Asika; a Record Label Exec, Seyi Shay; a perpetual upcoming artiste going by the unpopularity of most, if not all her songs and DJ Sose; who at best is skillful at selecting songs that'll mostly appeal to club audiences.

One would have thought the record label executive in the person of Asika, who ordinarily should have been exposed to artistes of various kinds, will as a father figure, be in full control of the selection process, by way of influencing the opinions of the others even though the antecedents of past judges on the show clearly sets a pace for divergence in opinions that in the end, engenders a robust decision for or against the candidates. This is terribly in deficit this time on the show, as as much as a snarl from the perpetual upcoming artiste is enough influence of the opinions of two supposedly mature and independently minded men. Sose even managed to take his obvious lack of knowledge of music and consequently, a lack of sound judgement to annoying levels by always concurring to whatever Seyi Shay breathes, despite his body language telling otherwise.

All of the above is obvious in the audition of the young music producer, whose image you'll find attached to this post. I can bet that IK, the show host was shell shocked that the young man had to be turned down for no reasonable point, except for displaying his musical dexterity. If that's a crime, then pray tell me what Idols is all about?

I was part of the very first Idol show in Nigeria that produced the likes of Timi Dakolo and Omawunmi and what I can clearly remember is that singing foreign songs or even displaying your vocal dexterity wasn't a crime. If it was compulsory for candidates to do local pangolo songs for the show to be seen as "Nigerian Idol", like Miss Shay foolishly posits, then I dare the show organisers to switch the nomenclature to "Naija Oosa/Ojuju etc" and compel the judges to speak Yoruba, Hausa and Igbo.

Besides, in the first Idol show in Nigeria, the jury made up of seasoned music industry legend like Dede Mabiaku, Radio Joc; Dan Foster and a Ghanian lady popularly referred to as "It's not werking for me" had their independent opinions of the candidates even though one out of the trio always played the devil's advocate.

Question now is; who the hell is the devil's advocate that'll ensure a robust decision making process in the ongoing Idol show, when from all we see, all trio are sleeping with their heads in the same direction??

Reason the current panel needs to be disbanded, asides the joke Seyi Shay has made of the show by unprofessionally making mockery of young chaps she is meant to encourage, thereby wreaking psychological damages that may be indelible in the lives of the up and coming generation.

PS: I don't know the guy being auditioned in the attached pictures as I am speaking for countless others that are in my opinion, obviously far ahead of the judges musically, but were turned down.

He should start by first working to pay the bills, before He decides whether or not He wants to divorce Her.

Zubydeangelo:
I'll go straight to the point...A friend of mine(very close) confided in me that his wife is cheating on him because he can't afford to pay the bills any longer. Asking me if he should divorce her or still be with her and let her continue paying the bills?

some of the embattled bandits took refuge in shops and police stations as well as residential buildings....
Please, did i read that bolded part correctly

dre11:
https://tribuneonlineng.com/bloodbath-in-zamfara-as-vigilantes-storm-market-execute-bandits/

Daily Trust! Daily Trust!! Daily Trust!!! How many times did I call you

Well your headline describing the reactions of well meaning Nigerians as a "Media Trial" already reveals your bias in the story, I like you, Daily Trust, but I don't trust you on this day.

SATANICALLY:
https://dailytrust.com/the-media-trial-of-isa-pantami