₦airaland Forum

Suspected she was raped?He didn't even confirm it?
Poor woman.

DMerciful:
Hope it's not murder disguised as suicide. Why go that high?

If it's murder,why and how did they take him that high?

You say it's over,you have just begun.

Kobojunkie:
My father did not pay any bride price for my mother this since they were both enlightened individuals from even back then. They were married over 40 years ago in that very same Nigeria you speak of.

I am asking you here a simple question which is to specifically state what part of that country this marriage tradition you continue to claim comes from so I can better understand your culture.

I am afraid I ain't the one here living in lala land since you are instead the individual here attempting to color all marriage agreements the same color when you law of the land as far as marriage is concerned does not include any of what you claim so far.

@bold,I will agree with your words since I wasn't there.I want to believe they told you this and not you assuming.

I won't want to mention specific cultures(because I stay away from tribalism) but you can do your own research.

Kobojunkie:
My own parents were married in the very same Nigeria, Africa, you keep referring to and their marriage didn't come with the baggage you list. So you need to start by getting more specific about where in that jungle your ideas come from or belong.

They married in Nigeria,now I ask you,did your father pay bride price or not?

Depending on what part of Nigeria you come from,do you know there are those who married and had to train a relative of the wife as part of marriage contracts?

Kobojunkie,please stop living in la la land except you sincerely do not know these things.

Yea, the jungle is still Africa

Kobojunkie:
Won't be kept why exactly?

Most of you assume way too much where marriage is concerned. A marriage is an agreement between a man and a woman. If the man has not agreed to taking responsibility for the woman's tuition and what not, such should not be assumed by any of the involved parties - third-parties included.

You only take on as many responsibilities as you agree to....that is how marriage is designed to work, legally.

Assumptions you say? Why is the lady's father in this case assuming he will not continue paying his daughter's school fees?
I agree with you Kobojunkie if you live abroad and make certain marriage decisions abroad(the other world you talk about).
Marriage in Nigeria and Africa is largely decided by culture and traditions.
There are ongoing changes to some of these things but for now they are heavily influenced by our culture and traditions.

Kobojunkie:
I don't live in the same world that you do hence the reason why I ask what tradition your ideas come from.

So, I see that your tradition only seems to heap this responsibility on men and not on women who do same as the men.

---

In the world that I live in, marriage does not strip persons of their individual responsibilities in any way or form. So if a woman signed up for school, and eventually gets married, she remains responsible for making certain her bills are paid. If her parents made her the pledge to handle her expenses, then that pledge remains intact, whether married or not.

If you say?Can't you see in this case that that promise isn't made(or won't be held) judging by her father's stance?

Indeed, marriage does not strip persons of their individual responsibilities but don't act like some don't take on more responsibilities in marriage.....either the man or woman.

Kobojunkie:
According to what tradition be this one?

What happens if a woman decides to marry a man who is still in school, does it also mean the woman takes responsibility for his tuition and other school needs as well?

We all know the man is the major financier in the home except the woman is more financially capable.

@bold,if the woman wants she can take over his tuition and other school needs(that will happen in Mars anyway).

See big boys.

If a man decides to marry a lady who is still in school,then it is because he is ready to take over the financing of her education.
The parents can still chip in as they wish.

What a brute!
She should have stayed out in Turkey where she escaped to and try to find a means of living.She should have known the terrorist in her husband will never change.It was just a matter of when the evil will manifest.

Wetin come be the gain?

Idiota! Like he wasn't the one who initiated this sinking by blowing the opportunity to ravamp Nigeria with the gulf war oil boom and the opportunity to transit to democracy when MKO won the election.

ozo13:
there is a new guideline as to wn to commence ART

Okay

ozo13:
i think they r commenced immediately on antiretroviral no matter the level of CD4 cells count.
Op its not the end of life.

Not in all cases.If the CD4 count is very high,the person may just be advised to take fruits and vegetables to boost immunity and stay off alcohol and cigarettes as long as there is no underlying issues like diabetes or other co-morbidity.

samuelson06:
I think you are indirectly saying there's no need for CD4 count check because if someone's CD4 count is low, what's the point of taking the ARV drugs? What's the drug going to act on?

The ARV drugs are commenced to boost immunity and prevent opportunistic infections.

HIV is not the end of life.There are people who have been HIV positive for years and they are doing fine.
The first thing is to do a confirmatory test to see if you are still positive.
Get registered with a hospital, (usually government hospitals) where they have heart to heart clinics.You will be counselled and a test done to check your CD4 count.If low,you will be placed on antiretrovirals which are free.
You will need to leave a healthy lifestyle,avoid certain foods and alcohol.
Generally,you will do just fine.

mike404:
HOW THE JOURNALIST TAKE MUMU

See him asking her what she thinks of pre-marital sex.Is the journalist a priest or family planning expert?

The journalist sef mumu like the idiot policemen.

Stay where you are
Let him come and go for now while you test if he has indeed changed for the better.Don't be in a rush to go back to stay with him.

It's simple na.No two black parents can have a white baby.
Since there is a white guy that has been around them,then it shouldn't be a hard nut to crack.If he doesn't have money for DNA now,he should plan for it.

There are some big people sponsoring this guyl's lifestyle.

Really tragic.

It is a non-issue if he sees it that way.It is something he can overlook.
The property is not your elder brother's own and he is not even an agent.

It means however that he should only bother himself with what he wishes.Since they didn't bother to consult him,he has no business with whatever comes out of the decisions they make.

Your husband is trying to use reverse psychology on you.

He will come back when he is tired.When he comes back,still ask him to explain to you what is going on.

ORIAYO70:
My problem here is not him apologizing, my problem is on what basis is he apologizing.

If he is apologizing based on increament of his wife renumeration then he has failed

He should apologize because he has realised he has been mistreating her all this while.

If what you wrote here is true,you've got a good woman there.
Call her one night after you have given her a treat and tell her you are sorry for all your wrong behavior and words,that you were ignorant then.

Now stop being a jerk.Your wife is your helpmate.

How do girls choose boyfriends sef.By looking at some people you can tell they are trouble.

I know you can't judge by appearance always but some choices are a no no.

Tell her to tell him to go to the court or welfare.
She should tell him that hope he knows the court will ask him to start paying child support.

Op,hope it isn't you?

Sickening

Marriage is about helping each other as a couple in marriage especially when most vulnerable.

The lady was very likely just a victim of circumstance.The man may have used sex-enhancing drugs and probably hypertensive.