₦airaland Forum

There is a lot of men who dont cheat. Cant we talk about them? Both men and women cheat. I believe it has everything to do with their personality and weak character.

Sagamite:
Tish,

Playing a devil's advocate here. So why not have kids out of wedlock? Why is that not cool?

What difference does it make in the child's life if you have a piece of paper and a ceremony saying you are married? If you are couple that are happy together is that not enough to raise kids?

Cos marriage is not just of peice of paper. Its much more than that. I lived with my fiance for two years before the wedding and i can assure you there was a huge difference once married than living together like before. It wasnt a bad difference just different.

If you can commit to having a child then why cant you commit to the mother of that child. I would wonder if my parents really do love each other if they never married each other.

Sagamite:
And so?

Na by force to be married because you are together or have kids? What is so wrong with co-habiting?

If you want to co habitat, no drama. Just dont have any kids til you decide to commit to each other. Not cool when there is children involved. Just my opinion.

Just sounds like your more worried about outside opinions than your own. You want a 'man bag' on your arm that others approve of. Who cares really?? If he treats you well and your attracted to him whats the issue. If you dont want him, leave him to another woman that will appreciate his heart not his height. In defence of some guys, if they had said that about a girl, people would be going nuts! So go find a guy that would suit everyone else even if he treats you like crap!

Seriously?? The woman has given you four healthy children and her life. By the sounds of it she is a great wife exept for a few extra kilos?? You have got to be kidding me!!! I cant even find a word do describe how wrong you are.

iceblue:
would you classify tank top and short shorts as underwear? cos around here guys tend to wear their boxers around like it's house wear.

i may be playing devil's advocate, i know, but it is worth a second thought. in the famous words of alan shaw 'there's reasonable doubt'

I understand your point. I was thinking more that a man in his boxers would be equal to a girl in her bra and panties. Here, not even my brothers would be in my house in their underwear.

In one word, NO. If you truly love someone with all your heart and soul you would want to protect them from harm and hurt and would never put yourself in a position to lose them!

I cant even imagine a scenario where my male friend would be in my house in just his underwear. Sounds fishy but maybe she is innocent. The phone thing is bad enough. If she wanted to talk to you she would have made it happen, then you visiting, she should of been over the moon. But the underwear guy, not cool! You need to get to the bottom of that. Long distance is difficult enough without this sort of thing. I wonder how she would of felt finding another girl in your house in only her underwear, hummmmmmm!!!

Dis Guy:
this is what i dont get with oyinbo people, you are explain to a 10 year old boy

when he grows old he will come back to you explaining why he cant get a girlfriend!!!

the earlier the better- yours too late now

Please dont use race as an example and generalise. I was talking about my own choice not on behalf of white people!!! I have friends that got their son done. I explained it to him cos he had to know how to clean himself properly, thats called being a mother. I am saying that the doctors wont do it here unless there is a medical reason and my son did not have a medical problem. Thats just rubbish about not getting a girlfriend. As i said earlier, not many are done here so it wont be an issue. If he sees it as a problem later he can cut it off. No harm no foul!

I have a son and chose not to circumsize him. I spoke to a lot of specialists and doctors who all agreed there was no medical reason to have it done. Only for religious reasons. My son is 10 and has never had an infection or bladder, urine problem. He is as healthy as he can be. The doctor explained to me how it needed to be cleaned properly so when my boy was old enough i taught him to clean it properly. I explained my choice to him as to why i didnt get him done and that he can choose for himself now he is older. Its his body and he can make the choice wether to cut bits off or not. Its very difficult to even find a doctor here that will do it. So its not unusual here to be or not to be.

People will find any reason to back up there decisions but for me i couldnt see the point in cutting bits off my baby for no reason other than vanity. As i said before, if he doesnt like it or wants it off i will support his choice. For him, he doesnt know any different.

eina:
For me, cheating is called cheating only when you are caught. As long as you don't get caught, you haven't cheated.

O.M.G!! I have no words! Would you not be responsible to yourself? The character of person is how he/she behaves when no one is watching.

[quote author=agathamari link=topic=423129.msg5842048#msg5842048 date=1270572643]if you are mature enough for a relationship, you have the ability to make rational decisions. "i was drunk" - you made the decision to drink yourself silly. "she seduced me"- you made a decision not to walk away. "you cheated first" - so now were are 5 years old? "you wernt here" - your hand isnt good enough to last till i come home? would you tolerate your gf/bf husband/wife doing this to you - i grantee you wouldnt. if it is wrong for someone to do to you then it is wrong for you to do to them, simple

Awesome!! Well put![/quote]

Lexoria:
How come this oyinbo dey capisci pidgin english.Am I missing something here??

Your showing your ignorance, do you really think no other race/colour can understand pidgin? Have you not heard of people learning other languages or forms of language? You know, using your brain!!

Sagamite:
What a perplexing slowpoke the bunch of you are.

If Oyinbo talk about you negatively, it is racism. But your dumb arses are entitled to put them down?

Dimwits! Bloody fooools.

As a oyinbo myself i was thinking the exact same thing!! Really cant figure out how thats ok but not the other way around! Hummm, must ponder.

Great news on your decision. Please still stay in contact with him via any way you can. I really hope the best for you and am pleased you put your son's needs first. I really hope it all works out for you.

Wow!! My heart goes out to this guy! I really dont have any words cos i have no time for cheaters. I would take my kids and go and leave the decieving, discusting pair to it. But i am a cheating natzi! lol!! Cheating trumps love. Sorry i am not much help. I am sure others will share plenty. Hope this guy takes care before he acts.

Its called consequences and you are reaping yours! Your wife had every right to do what she did. Hope the 'quickie' with that skank was worth it. Silly man!

Its perfectly normal to donate. Iy depends on your emotional state. Can you donate and walk away and forget? Not think about your child out there? Cos legally it wont be your child. Also i would suggest you get legal advice to protect yourself and make sure a lawyer reads anything they give you to sign before you sign it. But what an amazing gift to give a couple. The child will still be the mothers child. So if your mentally ok with the emotional side then bless those people! Good luck to you.

saintneo:
I thought marriage was an old affair in aussieland

Huh?? Sorry?? What do you mean?

hollandis:
@30 ? is that the buntu tribe in guinea.Nothing to be proud about as a spinster at 30.Different cultures huh!!!!!

Each to their own! I'm in Australia and all good here. As i said, different cultures. Hahaha!! A spinster at 30, so funny!!! Under 30 is way too young here.

wow by 30 your done Here in my world girls dont even start to think of marriage til 30. Before that it is fun and career. Obvously different culture!

I like this, some good points! Ta for posting it!

Give his clothes to the second hand place and throw out the rest. If it was important to him he would of come and got them. He is playing games. If he calls just say you got rid of them, whats he going to do, you gave him a chance. Move on and i wish you well.

Excuse my blondeness, but why would you be with someone you dont feel for then ask what you should do Its pretty basic really, not rocket science! Be happy

I didnt watch it cos i cant watch kids being hurt but i am soooooo grateful i have my father close by who takes care of my son when i work or once a month when i go out. I have never left him with anyone that wasnt family or trusted friend. The punishment for that women and people like her should be the highest! Why the heck do they look after kids if they hate them this much.

Why do you 'have to' marry any of them. Please dont pressure yourself. If you dont feel anything for them then please wait til you find someone you feel for and can trust with your heart. If your not interested in marriage then you will do more harm to yourself if you force it. Please get some help for your past trauma's as other posters have said. My heart goes out to you.

Your welcome
You will both be fine and what better way to prove your love but to help her with something this important. Good luck to both of you!!

The comments on here are interesting to say the least. If the poster was a girl telling this story everyone would be horrified that a guy dumped her cos she wouldnt give it up. But the poster is a guy and being accused of being gay! Very confusing .

Poster, dont worry about it. If your not ready your not ready, no big deal. Those girls werent worth your time anyway. When you find someone who really cares about you she will understand and go slow for you. Take it easy!

It is the man's part that decides the sex as others have said. Nothing she can do.

Haha!! Yep, I'm about as white as possible! I have put in some of my posts that i am white. I dont try to hide it. Im sure im not the only white here. Just here to learn, and a bit of light entertainment.

Yes its me, why? Are you going to bag me out?? I have grown my hair but apart from that its me, cant get much whiter heh?? lol!!!

daduke2k:
Dat you in prof?

Who you asking?

Haha! No problem, I'm trying to keep up. Have a good one.