₦airaland Forum

Adesiji77:
Chelsea haff suffered!

Cc: lalasticlala

My brother eh, they have reached rock bottom. And still continued to sink. I don't know if they are now searching for crude oil.

Nothing spectacular. Not even the face.
Bashers, I said "spectacular".

All she did was show us 53.74% of her total skin surface area. That's all.

Plus she's got yam legs. And to make matters worse she went and tied them up with ropes like yams that have been paid for and tied up for easy carriage.

Shebi anything posted in the public domain is for the consumption of the public.

standingtall:
hi guys,

I have been dating my fiance for 3 years now. In the beginning everything was cool until recently. About a month ago, I found condoms an, empty pack of condoms in his bag, I confronted him about it and he told me he saw the pack on the floor and he liked the colour of the pack so he picked it up.

I let it go because I didn't want to upset him since he started getting upset.

Fast forward to today, I was looking for change in his bag and this time I found 3 different brands of unused condoms in his bag.

I didn't say anything and I won't say anything. I am hurt and crying inside.I just don't understand what he wants again. I hate him so much right now.

Please my sisters, I need a coping mechanism until am safely far from him. Sorry about my epistle. I needed to let it out.

You came to NL to lament so I'll give you my advice.

He says he likes the colour of the packs which was why he keeps them? No problem.

For the remaining unopened packs, they require certain "treatments" to improve their visual quality for his viewing pleasure:

1) Use a tiny needle to poke very tiny holes in the centre of the first condom.
2) In the second condom, poke same holes. But this time, introduce small amounts of any foul venereal disease-causing agent your imagination can concoct. It's your deal. You'll know where to get them if you are sufficiently motivated.
3) For the 3rd condom (this is an overkill) I don't think it's necessary as it may give your game away. But you know how you women and ice cold revenge are pallies na. So here goes.
Prepare a concentrated (when I say concentrated I mean thick) solution of hot pepper in water. The type that can blind someone by merely looking at it. Do the same holes in the third condom, soak it in this solution for as long as possible, bring out the condom, allow it to dry and return back to it's former location in your dearie's bag.

Since he likes looking at them, I don't see how the above stated treatments will not enhance the likeness the more.

Sorry, before I forget, make sure you do not sleep with him for at least one week after the treatment. You can cook up any of thise excuses (periods, yeast, bla bla bla).

If by the end of that period those same condoms are still there, sit him down and explain to him that by being in a committed relationship he should have graduated from anyhow bachelor to a serious one. He should tell you what you are not doing well that is prompting him to seek sexual gratification elsewhere, so that you can work on that. Erm... I didn't see in your post where you said you are not cool with it so I do not know your position, but I'll assume by general consensus that you do not like the idea of him doing outside.

By the way, why do you call him your fiance? Has he proposed to you?

Aikon:
His First match result, Enyeama retires, Enyeama comes back, Emenike retires, fears of failure and so on. All these can make his health worsen.

But is Enyeama back in the team?

cbrass:
Hmmm... have you killed before?

You are asking a doctor if he has given an injection before?

maputohq:
1. Going to your bf/gf without being invited = OFFSIDE.

2. Dating a girl today and having sex on the same day = FREE-KICK.

3. Condom = GOALKEEPER

4. Condom breaks = PENALTY

5. Abortion = RED CARD

6. A girl with lots of energy = CAPTAIN

7. Having sex without a condom = OWN GOAL

8. Taking a lot of time without coming = MAN OF THE MATCH.

9.Banging 3 girls in a day = HAT-TRICK.

10. Having many chicks and banging all = MVP

11. Having sex with your ex = FRIENDLY MATCH

12. 8 years of sex without getting a child = ARSENAL

13. After 2 rounds, u request for more =EXTRA TIME.

14. Taking it gently when having sex = FAIR PLAY

15. Biting her n!pples = SUAREZ

16.Two legs on shoulder = THROWIN

17. Asking her 'how do you want it' = Taking instructions on the sideline.

18. A lady using pills after sex and later still got pregnant = DEFENSIVE ERROR

19.Girl being pregnant = GoOoOoOallllll

20.Ur guy collect ur chick= True pass

21.Having sex with a girl..and your mum open d door= Injury

22.You and your girl break up= Game over

23. Girl tell u to stop= YELLOW CARD




Copied.

LOL.

24. A 50yr old sugar daddy with his 23yr old aristo. What'll you call that? Chelsea vs West Ham?

corisande:
I concur!
I would never send my child/children to go stay with any relaTION no matter the condiTION!

The plain truth is that your child in their house, would immediately be seen as a quick and cheap solution to getting a house help.

moshino:
Those prices are purely based on corruption and criminality nothing more. Corrupt politicians and their criminal accomplices were buying real estate at any price to hide their ill-gotten money, and a lot of those houses are unoccupied, lying fallow. Right now there's a mad, desperate rush to sell off those properties. Some of them will be out-rightly abandoned ones PMB starts his proposed verification of ownership with the new incoming FCT Minister, so bros, if you have spare cash, be ready to pick up those properties for pennies on the dollar. For instance, I know of an empty land in Asokoro that was previously advertised for #250m before PMB, right now the sales pitch for that same land is "Distress Sale, #140m, asking"! Which means the owner could even accept less, if you come with cash, no stories. I foresee a continuation of this trend very soon.

Why would you wanna spend N140m on a property that would eventually be deemed to have been acquired fraudulently and confiscated?

Is that wise?

kossyablaze:
No celebrity house in Nigeria can surpass dat of P SQUARE buh I knw some people will be pained cuz dey hate seeing peeps outside thr tribe progress....#SayNoToTribalism!......we all av our goods/bads as well!

Erm. . . Correction, no celebrity house can surpass that of my dear Lily.

Monalisa185:
which holes?

pot holes
Abi pit holes?

I hear you.

They know themselves.

For his mind, the dude'll be like:
"Damn, what was I thinking? Now I'm here showing off a pout. Warrahell men!"

dialfa:
Okorocha and Okorocha

Correction: Okorocha and okoroawusa.

These holes ain't loyal!

Maybe it ate onions.

Karmanaut:
MTP- Media Transfer Protocol.
UMS- USB Mass Storage
When you connect your device to a PC via a USB cord,in the notifications area is there an option to activate USB storage?
Or do your files show up in the computer straightaway?

Infinix is UMS.

benedictnsi:
Truth be told..... It's a nice apartment....

But she needs a man that will teach her how to be frugal in spending........ I guess she just wanted to draw attention with this though I know she can afford it.

It's good to keep a standard though°°°°°°°

Enyi kporu ala.

She has just set her standards. Anybody approaching her for marriage can now appraise himself by himself and know if he is qualified social strata wise, or not.

P.S. Who started this online business first? Seun or Linda?

Ahem... Searches around the desk.

Eventually finds the register. Hmmm... Rechecks title of register:

"Name Checkers Association Incorporated".

Opens a fresh page and places it on the table.

Whistles and strolls outta thread.

Didn't see any mansion O.

P.S. Chai, no more black gate pics again?

johnydon22:
Can never forget my nokia torch...


my nokia tune


My 1 week battery power


My wonderful bounce game


Chai i miss my nokia but am never going back to it mehhnnn...


If android phones had the type of nokia battery life then the world would have been wonderful

This is typical example of karma.

Android did to blackberry what blackberry did to nokia..

like garara here mehnnn..

What can happen to Android?

ajasa4link:
Fast forward again, a friend one day asked me for an advice concerning two different offers he got from two different companies Willing to employ him and just like a typical nairalander I asked HOW DID U APPLY?..
Then he gave me the game changer, he went to the regulators website i. e the regulator of all registered companies in our field, copied the names of the MD's and each MD's phone number and sent them text msg telling them he is a graduate of..... University, studied....with....grade and willing to learn and work under him.
Immediately I saw the intelligence in this idea because he has beaten all protocols, all obstacles on his way and has gotten into the heart of the MD. So after giving him the needed advice, I borrowed his wisdom and also followed his path, both enough credit and started rolling out the texts. The next week I was invited for a chat /interview with the MD of one of the firms,where I did well and promised to get back to me.

Congrats! Good for you.

The messages to the company MDs were the deal breaker. Makes you skip a whole lot of bottlenecks. Takes you straight to the decision makers, where you have to sell your worth. That's if you are adequately prepared.

Some people may adopt your method and when given the opportunity of an interview, fail the process so woefully that any chance of entry into that company is lost forever.

Congrats again.

gbosaa:
It still won't affect the taxi fare in the UK or how much taxi drivers earn or save in four years.

That N40 million Naija lekki house would probably cost N133000. Bankers would probably be paid 265 naira a month, a plate of rice with plantain and ponmo would cost about one naira thirty kobo (N1.30).

There are lots of things that give extra money in the UK outside of the regular job but taxi business won't give you the equivalent of N40m in four years.

Your argument doesn't sound logical because you are still trying to force our products/services prices to reflect 1GBP = NGN300.

But that aside, would Nigerians still want to fight to move to the UK if the Naira and GBP were on par?

Adesiji77:
"The hunting dog that is determined to get lost in the forest will not hear the whistle of its hunter-owner"-Proverb

On a lighter mood, which bank will accept USD deposits from him?

Cc: ednut1, Tinyemeka, slydog, ruffhandu

Don't mind the mumu.

He can't have withdrawn any FX in the past 2 months. It's probably fake money.

Like the one used in Reminisce's video "Local Rappers".

cyberdurable:
APC member spotted! In ur Dreams, we are promised 1N=1$

I'm not a Party person.

People are overly attracted to the UK, Europe and US mostly because of our weak Naira. If the Naira was equivalent to 1GBP, do you think people'd still rush there the way they currently do? Talk true.

We'd only go there to shop, sightsee and holiday.

gbosaa:
Where did you get this from? "So what is 4 that he can't afford after four years of hustling in London"?

Let's do some maths. Taxi drivers make between £500-£800 a week, let's assume his is very lucrative driving football players to trainings and stuff. He will make up to £1000.
That's £26000-£52000 a year. He has to pay the taxi company every week, but fuel, insurance, pay house rent and other domestic expenses.

So you think he could save N10m or around £30k-£40k per year after expenses. Mind you he has to pay tax. So after four years, assuming he landed from Heathrow and started his cab business the following day having mastered all the driving routes from surfing the net in Nigeria or with the aid of his sat nav,He could save N40m or £130k-£135k after hustling for four years??

I wonder what'd happen if eventually, 1GBP equates to 1NGN?

Hmmm .. I always experience this shudder any time I read about someone getting caught while trying to move drugs to Malaysia, Indonesia, etc. But Islamabad and Saudi Arabia for goodness sakes?! At the height of the Hajj season! Is the dude on drugs?!

Some people can be so stubborn to death.

porka:
[size=13pt]Due to the decision of the Fed not to raise interest rates for now. [/size]

In which country?

jnrbayano:
Rita Nwaturuocha.

I still wonder where "Dominic" came from.

I've forgotten. Could be her dad's aha beke.

The hairstyle greatly diminished her beauty.

I can bet my 5k that she didn't breathe while all those photos were shot.

Adesiji77:
Seems this bank has a lot of work to do. I have read more than a few negative stories about them in recent times.

Cc: slydog, ednut, Tinyemeka, ruffhandu, 234GT, Napa, Gemc3, DzTzl, JustBB, lalasticlala

FBN used to be known as a first generation, old school bank, till they re-branded, re-strategized and they have now come to be regarded as constant feature in the top 3 banks in Nigeria (both by capitalization and brand recognition). Same cannot however be said of its former peers. Where is UBN and former Afribank today?

That refusal to embrace change and innovation, QUALITY SERVICE and technology is what killed those banks. Eco is already being viewed as an old-school bank. It'd take a whole lot to change that perception.

kettykin:
These projects are expected to complement the Free Trade Zone (FTZ) already sited at the 9th mile area of the state, attracted by former governor of the state, Sullivan Chime.

Where in 9th Mile is the FTZ sited?

free2ryhme:
of what purpose is the private Jets

I'm trying to make a case for the jets' purchases but it's not holding much water.

They say it's for the propagation of the Gospel.
What happened to flying commercial? Because those private jets, would still land in the same airports as commercial flights. So what's wrong with flying commercial? It's simple. They now feel too big to fly commercial. Wouldn't want to mix up with the commoners.

Flight safety? If that man was truly a believer, he wouldn't harbour any fear about danger coming to himself.

They just milk their flock of tithes claiming it's for the Lord's vineyard but convert the funds to personal use. Hence the temptation and lack of conscience to begin to crave the trappings of this world. They have already bowed to mammon and succumbed to the 3rd temptation satan presented to Jesus after Christ's 40 days fasting in the wilderness. It's so unfortunate. The mass brain washing.

ritux:
You are advising people on recruitment experience which is good. You are also advising people on abbreviation "u" "k" which is also good. However, how can you write "I" as "i"? It's a shame on your part.

I have also conducted recruitment exercise and immediately I see "I" written as "i", in your email body, I don't even bother opening the person's CV.

Obviously you won't pass my recruitment exercise.

LOL.

I went back and checked. Seems he committed the blunder all through the article.

After every every.