₦airaland Forum

[color=#008855]I agree, it's not just about the size, my friend has a HUGE ass, but it's flat where it should be round,

Anyways, with that being said, guys still stare at her ass, and she loves it. Whilst a conversation with my ex, led me to believe a good ass is more than just size, the shape matters SO much.

In response to the original poster, okay, we girls will somehow cover up our backsides, since we have eyes at the back of our heads and know when guys are staring right!!

Sometimes, we like it, sometimes we don't, so maybe some women purposely jiggle, whilst others have too much they can't help but jiggle.
[/color]

[color=#008855]All the judgemental people in this forum seriously lack epathy, you don't know her nor the full story, but you are convinced that this story has to fit in your neat box.

On the left are sluts on the right are the 'righteous'!!?!?!? Who made you the judge?? How dare you cast people according to your own logic and human-built rationale.


[/color]

[color=#008855]It's not only you who should be carrying this burden, but he too should also be really distressed by the issue. You didn't after all have sex by yourself.

I hope it wasn't forced, by either party. Anyway, what type of advice do you require?? You're planning on having the child? Is he aware that you're pregnant, what are reprocautions for getting pregnant for you - do you get kicked out of school, home??
[/color]

adekanbicv:
i need a burst lady married or single for sex,i reside at okota lagos and working with one multinationals.interested can call me on 08035420713.only serious minded shoul call or test

[color=#008855]Why not just do things the sensible way??
[/color]

[color=#008855]If he's aware that she won't quite her prostitution after marriage and he chooses to continue with marriage preparations, then that's his decision.

Your opinions may differ from your friend. Prostitutes are humans after all, it's your friend's decision whether he is okay with the idea of a wife who sleeps around and could possibly bring diseases into the maritial bed - not that all prostitutes are festering with disease, but the chances of getting one obviously increases significantly the more sexual intercourse she has, especially with strangers or customers.
[/color]

stillwater:
I didn't even behave as if he was talking to me. I crossed over to the other lane to avoid him, then he went the other way. I got home frozen, and was like what just happened?

People can be crazy. It happened when I was in Lagos.

[color=#008855]WOW!! Thank God, he actually asked!!
[/color]

olanajim:
I do not like the way some people mock others when there appear to be a kind of short-coming,

the same people will have their own problem and hit it away from the world. It take courage for someone to come to public and discuss his or her life,

I am of view the the relationship eyo was talking about is not yet over, [b]it MAY come back stronger and it may not. [/b]The truth is that, anything can happen, depending on how it is handled,

[color=#008855]WISE WORDS OLANAJIM
[/color]

sleekdoc:
eyonigger and topup, you guys can start something u know. Nothing wrong with meeting your better half on NL

[color=#008855]Come to think of it, I wonder how many people on Nairaland have been matched because of the forum,
[/color]

[color=#008855]Any person who let's anything interfere with their marriage is not serious. I'm not sure whether it's love, lust or foolishness, and I have my strong opinion on the issue, but I think the reason why some men treat their girlfriends better than their wives, is because of the fact that the wife is definite, she will be waiting at home, whilst their is definitely an element of spontaneity involved with the girlfriend, therefore he tries harder as he could lose her. Sometimes, they just enjoy the mere idea of chasing girls around and so they put the wife in the 'boring box' - even if the poor woman has lots to offer to the marriage, but the girlfriend becomes the interesting element to their lives.
[/color]

[color=#008855]So in all honesty, he'll only be happy in the marriage, on the condition that his fiance changes her ways,  well we can't make people change, we can ask and if they truly care, they can work on it, but it seems that his current girlfriend does not care.

I think there's no hurry, for your brother, do they have to get married this december (especially after dating 9 months??). If he takes more time I'm sure it will become apparent.

It's a tough decision and I understand that you don't want to appear biased, and as a female you're sympathetic towards the other girl (I think) - even if just a little.

Well, maybe you could advise your brother to have a heart to heart chat with his fiance, so that he can really lay out his issues with the relationship, equally, she should be allowed to voice her concerns too, and they can both work on themselves together.

If that doesn't work, I guess you could reach out to her to get an unbiased understanding of her point of view, that could actually be the best, because who knows if it's your brother who has the over-bearing ego.

If he wants submission, there are ways to please your fiance so that she wants to submit to you. I hope they're not too immature to work this out.
[/color]

bcblazer:
@eyonigger,

You are one lovey-dovey nigga. Come on, f**k all these bitches and do your thing.
Even a 17 yr old ignorant chick is pulling your strings and you falling for that?

This is crass stupidity and too gross for my liking. Stop acting like a pussy nigga.

Tstark:
Mugu don pay shout hallelujah, kere ke kere ke. 17 year old dey make you kolo like this? You no dey shame?

[color=#008855]There's no shame in following your heart, but you have to be smart, he's asking for advice, that's why he's here, he's acknowledged that things have to stop & change, he's just asking for advice on how to go about bringing on that change. Sheeesh!!
[/color]

downwide:
hello  peo

i love a girl but she said that she do not love me
but she has been sleeping in my house any time i ask her to come to lagos

people tell what can i do ?

[color=#008855]As far as I know, it sounds like you're just a free-hotel. A depot, a stop, if she doesn't indicate that she likes you, then she doesn't like you. Assume that, until otherwise proven. Maybe if you can't tolerate being used as a hotel, then tell her she can't stay. Otherwise if you don't mind being a friend, then there's nothing wrong with her sleeping in your house (as long as she's not sleeping with you).
[/color]

[color=#008855]Yes, I believe that in Nigeria, our values have switched. We are extremely money orientated. We don't recognize anyone unless they are wearing designer outfits or look like they've been abroad. If Wole Soyinka had walked around in slippers, maybe a straw hat, and casual on the street, do you think people would have recognized or even believe that he was a noted Nigerian??

On going to holiday in Nigeria, I get more attention than the lecture in the queue next to me, because of my slightly abroad look, as soon as I wear traditional clothing, they see me as my mother's housegirl.

It makes sense in a way, and of course Nigeria isn't the only country this happens, but it's come to the point that education is nto respected. Simple as that.

I believe that anyone who has done something substantial in the field of education should at least be respected amongst their society, but it isn't the case.

Everyone wants to get their hands on money, and use education as a backup, when it should be the other way around. They go through university, but how many of them will opt to complete their education first before they take the opportunity to make a quick dollar that's in front of them.

We are shortsighted, we should be nurturing a nation of academically successful people, if we can't compete on a world wide scale, at least let us have a national scale. We don't even have that, how many people have dedicated their lives to education but you don't hear a word of them, and they still struggle in life?? It's almost like taking the more intensive route doesn't pay, and that shortcuts are the way.

I think as a nation, Nigeria should encourage academics, not only for bragging that we've done this or that, but to enrichen its people. Maybe have charities or awards that encourage people to pay attention to such people, and also have some privileges for the ones who worked hard to get where they are. Government should encourage more, I know there are some individual associations that exist but, I think it should be encouraged nationwide.
[/color]

sistawoman:
So now I need someone to explain to me what guys in cults have to do with this?  And what kind of cults are we talking about here. 

Remember I am not Nija born, so break it down to this yankee girl.

[color=#008855]Okay, think of sororities, there are cults in America too . Like all the alpha, beta, sigma groups, that get the freshmen to do nasty things and initiation tasks. It's somewhat similar.

Nigerian cults are like that, they have a leader, and several people below, they can be extremely dangerous, and many have killed and do kill. I'm serious!!
Some rape etc,  I don't want to depress anyone, but it is advisable that innocent people stay OUT of cults, because even if she dates a member, she is automatically part of it.

Cults fight against each other, and people get hurt and more (read above).

A cult consists of a group of people who carry out certain practices, almost like a religious thing, they can be extremely passionate about their beliefs - I think the scenario for the original poster is university, they thrive in universities, students just get so bored - I guess.

So in university, STAY OUT OF CULTS. Go to church, you should be fine. If you're sought after like the girl mentioned, then she could be in big trouble,  I hope it makes sense now.

[/color]

[color=#008855]The man should be:

- Good with his family, so no arguments with the in-laws,
- Respectful to his in-laws to-be (fiance's family),
- He should be loyal - NO CHEATING ( which from this forum you would think happens in EVERY marriage),
- He should be able to provide for the wife, as a lot is required from the Nigerian wife, so if she can't work and be the housewife and mother, he should be able to bring home the bacon ,
- He should be romantic occasionally & not always seeking to please himself,
- He should never raise his hand to her (you know what I mean).

The rest should follow,
[/color]

[color=#008855]Scenario: Girl says: I don't want to have sex before marriage.
Boy says: Yeah, it'd be great to try a relationship that's less physical.

A month later:

Boy whispers in girl's ear: I don't want to have sex with you, I want to make lurrrv to you because I am in love with you.
Girl's eyes pop out **SOUND THE ALARM**

YUCK!!

The sleaziest thing someone has DONE not said, but done to me, was to push up close and make out with my cheek - WITHOUT CONSENT.
[/color]

[color=#008855]I'm scared!! My name was mentioned!!

Flattered still & why thank you
[/color]

[color=#008855]That's a cheerful post. I also believe that, they should be confident in themselves, and accept that blesings don't all appear the same.

Depend on God's guidance but appreciate that you are mature enough to make your own decisions. If you feel stuck in a rut, change things around. Be honest with yourself, your 9-5 job and retiring to your bed to sleep will probably not find you a partner, I unlike the original topic, believe that you should just spend time refining yourself, not simply homemaking and I think friendships and partnerships are just as important as each other.

Surely when you're a wonderful person to be around people won't be able to notice this. Meeting new people via existing friends also help, I know of people who had mutual friends who introduced them, not for the idea of marriage, but just for friendship at first. I believe any relationship can emerge from a wonderful friendship, if both people are mature.

If you truly are desperate, don't appear so, let your actions and aspirations not appear desperate, but let them appear more certain, don't plead or beg, but instead be persistant and ask for whatever you need to get you where you want in life. It's the balance between being shy and being overly confident. Just the right amount of confidence will bring progression but won't stamp others along the way.

What you're being told may sound like a lot to take in, but with every goal, strong determination and sometimes a complete 180 degree change is necessary to achieve it.
[/color]

[color=#008855]Oh, you mean the best man speech??
Well just stay away from talking about anything you don't know about, because you could end up offending people if you blindly take advice from a forum

Nigerian women are supposed to be:

- loyal,
- humble,
- good mothers (not afraid to beat down the kid to bring him/her upright LOL!)

Joking, I'm a little nervous giving advice, 'cos I feel like you might actually be writing this down. Just from reading things on this forum, you should be able to realise that we are just like everyone else, and there are some that don't have the above qualities.

Just write what you feel, as long as it's from the heart, & it make sense to him and his fiance that's all that matters, whether it humours the audience or anything else, is a much harder challenge which I would stay away from.
[/color]

[color=#008855]These questions are being asked waaaaay too late.

What happens if he has none of the virtues or qualities, does he run away from the altar - or does he pretend for as long as he can in the marriage that he has these virtues.

If you're friend is a sensible guy, I'm sure he would have searched his to-be bride very well, and hopefully they're very compatible.

There are no generic preferences and if anyone gives you any, they still may not work with her.

Is your friend able to communicate with his fiance?? If so, just let him ask his fiance what she expects.
A nigerian woman is still a woman, and she would like love, care, loyalty, protection , the list goes on.

Nigerian people as a whole really respect their culture, so as long as he is willing to embrace her culture, he should be fine.

I'm quite scared for your friend, if he's so unsure about the woman he's about to marry that he needs tips from a forum weeks before the wedding.

I think my best advice would be that, he should be REAL with himself, this is for life!! Nigerians aren't so big on divorce, and it takes a whole lot for divorce to be a resort.

Tell your friend to trust his instincts and give it his best shot.

All the best & God Bless - If you truly are his friend, then you are very caring, looking after his back. *thumbs up*
[/color]

OMO IBO:
lets face it, some of you will not get married cos you are unable to have or be in a relationship.
all this im 'im scared' hog wash or 'im not ready' bull sh1t and all other nonsense you guys come up are just a guise.

you cant get married if are unable to hold down a relationship.

[color=#008855]I completely agree!!
[/color]

charles316:
@bluespice,u think u are playing games.guys are using u at least u cunt dey widen ,wearing off and getting old.there`s something girls dont know.
when a guy bleeps around,his privates get larger
when a girl bleeps around,her cunt get wider and frictionless

[color=#008855]Are you sure about this?? Are you sure it's not 'their EGO gets bigger' ??
[/color]

[color=#008855]Good thread!!

I personally want to get married. But I have a friend and a sister who are extremely sceptical. The friend has even decided to join the convent (though she's not in one yet). She's a big girl (size 16-ish) and I honestly believe, the issue is that society thinks she should stay with men her size, and she's not attracted to men her size, it's not that she eats like a pig, she is genetically predisposed, and you can tell she is not a binger, because she eats a lot healthier than me, salad and sandwiches and meat and great meals. I think she would make a perfect wife, and she's so loving and caring, it's just boys my age don't want a woman like her. I pray her time will come and I pray he is a knight because she deserves no less.

My sister, after seeing many failed marriages around her, is extremely sceptical and doesn't even try when it comes to men, they are off her radar, and it's sad, it's not that guys don't come up to her, she just doesn't believe their genuinity, she's not attracted to African men who have not had exposure to western culture, because she often sees them, just with the same mentality of; "the kitchen is the wife's domain.", and she's very ambitious.

As for pcguru, cheer up, love's never been that simple. I know it's hard, but with that attitude, that's exactly what women are going to think. Have you tried building good friendships?? With friendships, you can be who you really are and then if any of your female friends responds positively, you'll know and you can try your luck. Love's difficult for everyone, some of the best looking, richest men, still pick bad candidates.

Sometimes I say, we perform the best when we have the most constraints.

As for money, maybe it's because I don't live in Nigeria at the moment, maybe that's why I actually don't see the big deal. How can someone who is 23 years old be loaded anyways?? What are people expecting from each other?? It's far much more realistic to expect to build lives together and not to expect the other person to do all the dirty work.

Who wants a woman who's merely attracted to their money anyway??
[/color]

sistawoman:
Please can someone translate.

i only speak english and have no idea what he is saying

[color=#008855]Lol, it's not that bad!

Here goes:

Well I'm back again. Previously I told Nairalanders about my girl friend who is also in love with her ex-boyfriend. Now the current problem is that all the guys in cults want to date her and she doesn't agree with this, but they keep pestering her and she's confused. They always try to get their guys to try and convince her to date them just because she's pretty. Please, tell me should I leave her because of this or should I stay with her. I'm not in any cult.
[/color]

[color=#008855]I think you should leave her be, not because of the guys who want to date her but because she's in love with her ex.
[/color]

eyonigger:
topup big thanks 2 u, exactly whats gonna take place, allow time to figure out what will fill the spaces in my life.

[color=#008855]Don't look so down, it's sad to lose someone you care about, but maybe you haven't lost her forever. To make the healing process a lot quicker is why I am advising you to pretend she doesn't exist, if you keep hoping that one day you two will get back together, you will never really move on and you'll remember too much to start afresh if the opportunity arises in future.

By occupying your time, like you have done before she returned from school, she becomes less of a focus and it's just about taking time out to become completely selfish, stop worrying about her, actually I think maybe you should allow yourself some time to think about what just happened, think well and hard, analyse everything, find something to learn from it. Then after this period is over (maybe a day of thought), you need to close the book. Because you've thought of all your options and laid all your cards on the table from the very beginning, you won't get thoughts attacking you in the middle of the healing process. Convince yourself that you have thought of all options, maybe ask other non-involved friends for advice, maybe even people who don't know you too well so they are un-biased. After this is done, you just need to keep your eyes forwards.

I am very sure that she is going through the same ordeal, trying to move on from the confrontation. Be kind to each other, if she ever tries to contact you, welcome it, but don't be too open, treat her as you would a distant friend, don't throw your plans away to accomodate her, just be selfish for the little time you have whilst you're single.

Take care & all the best.
[/color]

bcblazer:
I was receiving verbal shrapnels from those I tried to school. And how does it even concern you?

[color=#008855]This is what refusing to stoop to your level looks like.
[/color]

[color=#008855]I think he'd have to be a jerk not to acknowledge dating you. I mean does her hold hands, stroke and kiss all the girls he's friends with, does that sound platonic to you??

I believe what he's trying to say is 'Yes, we're going out, but let's take it slowly.' He's not screaming from the rooftops that you two are together, but he's not ashamed of you either, you've met each other's families.

I think yes, take his word for it, his actions speak louder than his words.

If it still bugs you, I'm sure if you ask him sensitively, he'll nod, or confirm it in some way.

All the best for you.
[/color]

[quote author=St☆rStruck link=topic=258402.msg3693661#msg3693661 date=1238990100]It's all sexual frustration lol[/quote][color=#008855]That sounds about right
[/color]

[color=#008855]What I got from that is that somehow this woman has turned the tables on you??

And you have been convinced that she's worth chasing??

It seems like you're just bored to me, nothing in the topic suggests that there's true and real emotion involved. Maybe you're attracted to her because she's not longing after you, maybe you're not used to independent women or a woman who doesn't care whether you're no.1 in her life or not. Maybe you feel easily replacable and the challenge that awaits before you is to convince her that she needs you in her life. I just get a vibe that this is pure lust mixed with a bit of boredom.

I tell you, as soon as she starts to reciprocate, you'll probably want to be free of the relationship.

Think about it.
[/color]