₦airaland Forum

[color=#008855]You don't need to worry. I am sure if she was your actual sister, you wouldn't think any of it.

For now accept it as a true care and sisterly love for another human being. This is the way we should all be towards each other.
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[color=#008855]Most movies end terribly come to think of it, either that or you feel nothing, it's really difficult to please everyone, and sometimes in a bid to please everyone, the movie ends up being cheesy. "He wakes up from the coma." "She survives the car accident." "She finds her true love all along, "

I guess it must be a lot harder than it looks to finish a movie then.
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[color=#008855]The Apprentice is one show I will NEVER miss, I love it, I love everything to do with business.

I think Mona looks stunning, but I'm bound to be biased, she's got stunning skin and beautiful eyes.

Last week's episode was something else.

The silly things they do, sometimes makes me feel like I could snap up the job, however, I am sure it looks a lot easier than it is.
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[color=#008855]It's halfway on the way to becoming a really great film, for me it just lacks somewhat in different areas. There are some key parts which are truly hillarious and probably should have been played on a bit more.

I didn't like the move to 'tribal/traditional' scripting, it seemed as if Jenifa was trying to hard to be that movie that has everything.

The plot about the big girls was quite strange, she had no qualms about selling her body for sex, I thought the character of Jenifa wasn't completely stupid.

I liked the humour, it wasn't trying too hard, the acting could have been better (though I really like the actress who played Jenifa/Suliyat (man I've forgotten her name)).

With maybe a spin-off or more development a great movie can be made from a similar plot (minus the tribal/kidnapping/slaughtering bits).
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[color=#008855]Fantastic video!! Hillarious too!! I need to learn that dance!
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[color=#008855]No, I don't think Nairaland is a Godly site, but because it openly welcomes all sorts of people and their accompanying expressions. For it to be Godly, its rules would have to not only restrict explicit behaviour, but would also have to condemn a lot of other things that take away from the freedom of speech and expression associated with forums.

I think we risk creating bigger problems if we force people to have to hide these sides of themselves. Yes it's a sin to even think certain things, but in the human look at things, thinking it and expressing it online is much less worse than expressing it physically.

I understand that as Christians we want to be in environments where we are not influenced, but we probably should work harder on how we deal with these 'worldly' things because as soon as we switch off the computer and step outside that door, switch on the tv or interact with the rest of the world, we're exposed to these things whether we like it or not

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[color=#008855]Wow, great advice from everyone.

Yeah, move on, you're only lusting after her, because if you loved her, you would want what's best for her, and that might not be you, especially if you're the type of guy who sees cheating as nothing serious.
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[color=#008855]I don't get the topic, the title says something completely different,

Is it regreting things with friends in the past?
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[color=#008855]This whole situation sounds really messed up. It seems barely anything is sincere, your love for her, her intentions for you, her mother's intentions for her.

It's really as simple as whether you love this girl enough to go wherever life takes you two. If you don't mind the mother-in-law insisting on pimping her daughter whilst you two are married, then I guess you are free to marry her - because I doubt such a meddling mother-in-law will lay down just because the ring is on her daughter's finger.
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[color=#008855]I went on the link to the site where this topic was originally raised and a lot of people said that what the guy did was a better thing than letting the relationship continue dragging along, yet others were confused why he ended something because he was scared of how the relationship could deteriorate. Most couldn't understand because with hindsight, the guy's left with the shudda couldda wouldda.

My personal opinion is that he would have been better off trying to work out the problems than running away from them, as the problems themselves had not begun, he was just predicting that they were going to be there in future. If the relationship had deteriorated, I don't think it would have been difficult for him to break off the relationship AND he would be able to justify what he did. But you never know, he could have worked things through then regretted not leaving earlier. I personally would choose to work things through because it's easier on my conscience that way.
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[color=#008855]Yeah a bunch of opinions, I know a few black guys who think this way, but living in the UK a lot of them like to dabble here and there between the colours.

What I've always heard is that they'll always 'go home' to marry the black woman.

I wonder if deep down white women prefer white men to black men? Sure, they may prefer the 'idea' of a black man, but to actually be with one. I know a lot of white girls who wouldn't go there.

I think it's environment. I always used to like white guys because when I was growing up, they were always the sweet ones, whilst the black guys were always playing gangsta to please the while girls, but like I said a new environment, I've met so many awesome black sincere guys who are into black sincere girls.

To each his/her own.
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[color=#008855]I don't see how this is a pointless thread.

Anyways, at the original poster; you made a lot of generalisations about both white women and black women, but I can see where you're coming from. In Africa the idea of 'what people will think of me, if I am not the perfect wife.' is still very alive. A lot of pressure is on the woman, to maintain the perfect balance between the husband and children. If the family 'falls apart' the blame is usually on the wife - I think this is the main difference between African and European/American traditions.
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[color=#008855]Yeah, like many people have said; maybe he's not into kissing as much as you are. It also depends on how long and how much kissing you want/are used to. I know that I used to be able to kiss for hours, but I was lucky to find a guy who liked it equally.

Secondly, the same thing happened to me; the kisses became less frequent, but that's because he became busier as time went on, more stressed, and we were slipping out of the honeymoon phase into the 'real relationship'. Assuming that you've been with your 'boo' for several months then, just check your breath just to make sure, and make it extra inviting (minty), then when you get a chance to kiss him, don't over do it, don't think of it as 'I may never get to kiss him again.' just take it slow, and maybe you should be the one to pull away. This might make him consider putting more effort into kissing, however be careful, you don't want to seem like you're trying to take charge.

You could ask him I guess, if you feel you two can talk about this, but if you're really unsure, you might just have to wait it out until you're certain what the problem is.
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C2H5OH:
topup,

an addendum

Never make someone a priority when you are merely an option to them.

[color=#008855]Good advice, unless the person is suicidal is an exception though
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[color=#008855]Thanks for your response, I'm currently sewing some clothes for a low-key fashion show, and as always I'm looking for business opportunities and ideas
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[color=#008855]Good point!! Come on people responses!!
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[color=#008855]Don't know who she is, but yes, I hope she makes a full recovery.
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[color=#008855]I think if you look outside of the box, these designs are amazing. Take one top and dress it with something complimentary, don't try and wear the whole thing. The ghostly makeup and headgears add to the freakiness, imagine the net top ontop of a black tanktop under a black leather jacket and maybe a hot pink satin tulip skirt.

It could work
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[color=#008855]Hi,

If you're from the UK, then great!

I know there are existing companies that design clothes made out of traditional material like ANKARA and CRAQUE, but what are your opinions on such??

I am UK based and was thinking about the market, Nigerian women, do you want eleborate dresses in TRAD, play dresses, tops, or what??

Suggestions please as they are ALL valued
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[color=#008855]Nobody has replied, though I'm not based in Nigeria (I frequently go there).

In order I would pay:
£30 - because it's a good combination of traditional and modern
(£20) - too modern and so many competitors and designers with this same dress
£25 - I appreciate the hemming, but once again too many competitors
£35 - I like it, unique (but that's me)
£35 - I love this - good combination I would wear it!!
£20 - Nice, I've seen it before, too similar to existing designs that can be bought for less.

In Naira?? Not sure, but I'm from the UK and that is how much I might consider purchasing each one (max.)

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[color=#008855]BLACK EYE-LINER!! - Love that stuff!!
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touchmeder:
top up wots with u and this ex of yours? i keep reading stuffs bout ur ex every now and then. is he not an EX?

sha i'm most likely not gona wish anybody happy birthday even if its staring me straight in the face i.e the face book thing. i do what i feel convinced doing and not even the face book remainders makes me obligated to say happy birthday to someone when i dont see the need. well thats just me sha, i never believed in ''the ex is my good friend thing'' . they are not my enemies either they are just well er EX.

[color=#008855]Lol, You obviously don't want to know what's going on, and anyways the answer is nothing. NOTHING is going on

Yeah, I understand the thing about wishing people happy birthday only when you want to. It's not a big deal for me, to this date, nobody's annoyed me to the point that I won't wish them happy birthday if I remember.
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[color=#008855]Lol, I have changed a few things. I've been planning on leaving facebook for a long time, but I actually can't since I use it to promote an event I'm planning.

But yes, apart from Facebook I'm off all the others.
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C2H5OH:
Right now you are in denial about what you need to do to move past these worries in your mind.  You talk about focusing on the issues as if you did something wrong.  We have all read up on your situation and most of us came to the conclusion that you fell in love with the wrong person.  Unfortunately he was your first true love, so it's hard to get over him, but he won't be your last!  You knew what you wanted and you put in overtime, exhausted all possiblities, tried your hardest to make your relationship work.  He wasn't having any of that.  It's like working with a lazy partner at a job, or working on a team project while in school.  You did all you could but your partner didn't give a shit about the assigned work.

[color=#008855]Wow, I wish you had a blog. Anyways, there I thought I had analysed everything, but I guess I haven't. Maybe I should just close the book, there is nothing more to say.

Before I came on Nairaland tonight, I wanted to cancel my Facebook account BUT then I realised that an event I'm organising requires it, so I think I need to find some other way. Maybe I should just rid everything all together. I'm scared I will regret this though - well it's for the best.
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bluespice:
oh well,
im off to bed guys
n topup writing has and is still helping me in my life

[color=#008855]Take care,
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[color=#008855]I have been to many different churches in both Nigeria and the UK. I never keep my tithe, you're not giving to the pastor, you're giving to God, if the pastor manipulates this, leave him to God.

Another way of combatting this is to give to another church where you agree with their pastoring and ways of teaching, if you can avoid giving to an obviously corrupt leader, then do so.
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onyinye2:
@top up

Personally if I'm having problems with guys in general, the last people I would go to is women. I'd rather go to my guy friends first then them. Because guys usually give it to you straight. Not that women don't but sometimes women are a wee bit manipulative and that is the last thing you need to be around.[color=#008855]That's true!! My friends messed up my mind. They all had different ways of dealing (which worked for them).
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So find yourself a really trustworthy guy friend and he doesn't necessarily have to be straight. Because I have guy friends who are gay and give great advice.

Just do whatever you feel is right.Maybe. . .

[color=#008855]That's true, I don't have a really close guy friend, however I have a good enough candidate who happens to be completely out of the situation. He told me, that my ex was a player, and can you believe, it was ME who was making excuses for him. Now if I said what my friend said to me, the guys here would cuss the life out of me.

Another guy friend described the ex as 'a player with a heart. So he ruined the relationship, before he could break your heart lol.'
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[quote author=~Sauron~ link=topic=254607.msg3657276#msg3657276 date=1238286814]Ex-girlfriend's birthday?? Who remembers such??[/quote][color=#008855]If you have Facebook, you will.
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C2H5OH:
It's okay sweets.  Whenever you feel the need to talk, come here.  We are one big happy family, so we should be able to lean on each other for comfort.  Right now you need our brotherly/sisterly words of advice and that is exactly what we are going to give you.  As harsh or pleasant as they may seem, please try to understand that we all want the best for you - I know I do.  You don't have to wobble through this lonely road alone.

[color=#008855]Eh!! Now you're just messing with my mind LOL.

About the last sentence, hope you won't retract it in future. Anyways, I'm off to do what I think I do best, put my nose in other people's business and put my pushy advice on others, Tarah!!

All the best.
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bluespice:
top-up
im sorry r friends wont listen
n NL hasnt proven to be ur best succor
why dont u try writing?
i mean write what  feel
and how u feel
u should get some form of mental clarity after putting all ur jumbled feelings n thoughts on paper

[color=#008855]Hehe, did I ever mention that I have 3 blogs, and write a ton of poetry??

I think I should watch out for these friends, the same ones that come up to me and ask me; "hows the ex, have you heard from him, you haven't talked about him for a long time." or "despite what topup says, I think she WOULD take him back, because she's not strong enough."

Heartfelt real advice right there hehehe
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[quote author=Ebony-Silk link=topic=254607.msg3657253#msg3657253 date=1238286335]If your friends won't listen, talk to an impartial listener.
Somehow, I'm not the kind of person that'd bring my love life issues on NL where majority of the readers have unstable relationships themselves.

I don't know. I think you should talk to someone who does not know him and you very well. Someone who'd listen to both side of the story without making biased judgments.

Your friends will always blame your antagonist  [/quote][color=#008855]Noted & thanks.

Same to bluespice & ethanol
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[quote author=Ebony-Silk link=topic=254607.msg3657255#msg3657255 date=1238286387]Oh dear me, both sides of the story.

But we never do hear both sides of the story, so unfortunate[/quote][color=#008855]That's true, I hope I haven't painted a false pic of the guy lol. Luckily for him he has a bestfriend he pours his heart to - his sister.
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bluespice:
dear dont get irrational and quit this forum altogether!
as there r people that honestly care about u so also are people that . . . well forget about those ones


im not in America whatever gave u that idea?  

when i said fun i wasnt relating to being popular or not (who thinks about that in college seriously?)
i meant doing things without having to give excuses for actions
doing things because u want to damning almost all consequences

i really think u should read the book i suggested
it will do u awhole lot of good

[color=#008855]Hehe, I made a lot of assumptions sorry, I was getting carried away.

Last year something happened to me, and since then I've been a lot more selfish -- so it's almost the effects you described you got after reading the book. I realised life was too short, it hasn't helped my over-analytical side though.
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