₦airaland Forum

kelvinnile:
You know what, my rlshp is over 2yrs old now, and as observant as i am, i am yet to catch or notice any sign that my girl is cheating on me. Though i ve heard ppl say, 'grls re hardly comited to jst 1 guy' but wit d expirience i ve had so far, atimes i wld want to draw a conclusion dat 'my girl no dey chop 4 outside at all' and mind u, i am also faithful to her. I ve been also comited to her since we started dating. Though i ve had several chances to cheat if i wanted to, bt neva utilized them. by so doing, do u guyz think i am fooling myself?

[color=#008855]It's really hard to trust people once they've broken our trust, but to distrust them before they've done anything wrong could be the quickest way to paranoia. I don't think you're fooling yourself, I mean some people think ALL guys cheat, but you have proven that's not the case, is your girlfriend fooling herself by believing you're faithful to her??
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[color=#008855]Nobody is yours to keep, if they don't want to stay, there's nothing you can do, other than find someone else who willingly will.

Yes, some people just behave badly, and no matter how honest you are, they still mess you about. As for the statistics, I really don't know how you did your research .

You can't generalise, just because you've had a bad experience doesn't mean you should not try something again, especially if when you get it right, the rewards are amazing.

I think yes, being single's a great idea if you want to take the 'me,myself and I' route, however, if it's just because you're too scared to trust another person, then I would just advice that you don't put yourself in a bubble or you could miss out on something.
Having multiple partners is the quickest way to ruin your reputation and lose all female respect.
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[color=#008855]Nice one
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[color=#008855]And you see nothing wrong with meddling with married women??
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[color=#008855]I'd dislike; lack of imagination, or a boring person, not a consistent, person, but a person who is already bored with life, or is too comfortable where he is. Even the most successful man should continue to aspire so that he does not fall, but continues to climb up the mountain.

I also dislike; dishonesty, I think if someone is dishonest, you can't figure out where you truly stand, it's like they take control over you, you can't make fair decisions without information can you??
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[color=#008855]Extremely hot?? To me it has to be;

A fantastic combination between his sexy looks, dress sense, grooming (shape up/ neat hair) and an amazing personality!!
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C2H5OH:
Yeah,

fucking up dimers.  Some girls just come into your life and mess up the flow.  Everything was going just fine, they come in really pushing for you introduce them into your life, that it would enrich your experience and make your life even more pleasant.  Maybe 5 months down the line they have a change of heart, petty arguments begin, they toy with your emotions, play mind games with you, then up and leave like you were just a game to be played.

Why have all that when you can enjoy your life without the complications?   now don't get me wrong, it might be necessary to experience that later on, but right now . . . not interested.

[color=#008855]You're not serious!! LOL!!
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C2H5OH:
Where is topup? This is dedicated to you.

For those who still have some burning questions or leftover feelings, about the breakup of a prior relationship, why don't you use this as an opportunity to vent anonymously about the kind of experience you shared. What you wish they would know or what they didn't know.  Free all those emotions you are hiding, ask those biting questions, clear your mind by saying those things you want to say, let it all out.

Hopefully this idea would help some people release the few bits of hurt they have left in them.
It might give you closure?  You most likely won't have to worry about your ex reading this.


Post whatever it is.

[color=#008855]Hahaha, I had a teeny feeling that it was to mock me, but dedicated?!? Wow, I'm flattered lol.
I wrote a letter agesss ago to get rid of steam, and threw it away (or did I keep it for laughs).
Anyways, I have two options, to give into this and fully analyse and break everything down or just to write something random.

Anyhoo.

Dear X,

I don't need to make any outlandish statements;
"I'm never coming back."
"I'm so glad you're gone."
"I was too good for you." because you know them all already. I trust you're a smart guy, you can figure yourself out, I don't need to be wasting my time trying to do that anymore -*phew* what a load off my chest.
All the best with your future and figuring out what you want out of life, finding the true you, and fighting peer pressure.

I still think you're a good guy deep deep down.

Take care and all the best.
God Bless.


Random:

Dear X,

This is what I feel about what happened








Tease version:

X,

I watch a lot of movies and read romance novels, so I am convinced that you will come running back to me. When you do decide to come back, here's my address. .


Hehe
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I haven't seen your threads, but rest assure you're guilt has been lifted lol.
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[color=#008855]Here's what I think;

I think love is sufficient, but it isn't sufficient enough to convey it. What I mean is just because you feel something is not enough to prove to the other person that you love them. No one can really read another person's mind, and some people can't show their love. So, I don't believe in any specific gifts or values of money, but I believe in finding any way to convert the emotion into something tangible.

This could be something romantic, a present, a treat, even just compliments, or maintain loyalty, or just something to make 'your woman' acknowledge that you are aware of your love for her and you want her to be aware of it too. That you're not afraid of showing it to her, that it is true and strong.
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[color=#008855]I'm not a guy, but yeah, smoking is a personal turn-off.
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[color=#008855]Maybe it's the age range of girls you're dealing with. I was like that when I was much younger, you know, afraid of letting someone know I like them.

But seriously, I can give straight answers, unless I am genuinely unsure about things, it's not a cover if I say it, I truly am confused.
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[color=#008855]Mojo??
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[color=#008855]I actually really like it, but sincerely it's just the equivalent of what the men are making these days. I wish it was original. Their voices are beautiful or beautifully digitalized though
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[color=#008855]Please tell someone, because I can almost see a pregnancy or some other scandal hitting the family.

She's trying to trap you into a plan, not sure where the plan ends, but your part is to avoid it all costs. I think you should tell someone female, your mother maybe.
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[color=#008855]Hello topup, how are you today??
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[color=#008855]Crystalz, exactly!! Will the family be there to replace him?? However, my mother is completely aware of all the Nigerian customs, she is the perfect Nigerian housewife, but she also takes a lot of charge, since for 9 months in the year, she plays mother AND father.

Yes, a talk is in need to 'sort' all this out.
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[color=#008855]That happens even if it's not love. If there was genuine chemistry, something will come back, feelings of love or hate, who knows.

Let's hope it's indifference for those of us who don't want to get back with our exs
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[color=#008855]Every situation is unique. For me if the friend is ideally my best friend and the guy loves me, I will somehow force them to sort it out between themselves, if they ever STOOP to making me choose, then I might leave them both (depends on how long I've known both). I would probably trust my friend more, if he's new and if I've known her for longer - because she is probably right.

Whilst I can think rationally I should re-instate that, because whilst in the relationship, I know chances are, I'm gonna give my guy more credit than maybe he deserves (because he lurrrvva me - right?? LOL!!.
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[color=#008855]Everybody loves pretence, men just as much as girls do.

I mean come on!! You guys, all the games you play not to appear like you have feelings or appear 'soft'. "I won't ring her immediately, because she'll think I'm too eager."

"I have to pay for everything on the first date at least, so she doesn't think I'm stingy."

Do those lines sound familiar to anyone??
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[color=#008855]So everybody who's no longer a virgin, was one because of lack of opportunity to lose it?? Are we not humans, do we not have free will?? Assuming that everyone wants the same thing is not the way forward.


Sorry.

*I apologise for bumping this post up again*

DIE POST DIE!!
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worriedman:

i've had it enough with this lady. i was contemplating resigning my job, [b]but that would be chickening out cos of a woman. i don't know what to do cos she's giving me so much heat.[/b]

[color=#008855]What's her being a woman got to do with it?? Hmm?? If anyone is causing you grief at work, leave if you have found a replacement job, otherwise, maybe try and just look past it, looking forward to the end of the day.

I don't think she should be that horrible to you, especially if she's over the pain.

Maybe if you just want to sort everything out, seek her out in a time she's by herself and apologise to her, even if she doesn't apologise, you've done your bit. She should lighten up, if she has any heart.

I pray she doesn't start meddling with you, as you mentioned you have a wife and two kids.

Sorry, to sound insensitive, but this sounds like a movie I watched last week; "Men do cry." However, she was the one who wronged you from the beginning, she used you, and then she still came back, whilst in the movie, the guy left the girl at the alter and disappeared only to find himself working for her, and then having an affair with her to stop her maltreating him at work.
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[color=#008855]What are the chances that the winner is always going to be the 'MOST' beautiful girl in the country??

What about competitions such as; Miss. Universe, do we even know if there are humans in the rest of the universe??

Anyways, yes, maybe she is just a beautiful girl, but then again, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and for this competition, she must have outshined the others in some way or another.
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[color=#008855]The real question is; "Did you always use protection?" because even if the little percentage of the contraception not being effective was relevant, compared to NO condom, it becomes irrelevant and you can rest assure the guy using no protection is the father (that is if she was faithful).
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[color=#008855]So that you're not tempted to do it, I'll say "No, it's not possible." But if you could end up putting yourself in a situation where you could end up doing such a thing, then you better leave the temptation be.
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[color=#008855]Fair enough!! Violence in a relationship never was a green light to move onto the next level.
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[color=#008855]I've always been able to overlook society's opinions when choosing suitable guys, and as soppy as it sounds, it takes more than looks for me to fall, and I have fallen for guys I initially was not attracted to. Why should an albino person be any different. I'm not saying hi personality has to be even more astounding than a guy who's good looking, I pretty much have strict criteria for everyguy
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whitelexi:
The face of cheating starts when there's a confusion about someone's usual behaviour. When attitudes change there is something fishy, when people can not explain recent changes, or when u notice someone came into the picture just before some erratic changes in your partner's behaviour.
Good people try not to hurt their loved ones, but all routes will eventually lead to the same destination. . .

[color=#008855]I like this response *thumbs up*.

At the poster, I'm not a guy, but I think all the things you listed are sending out the wrong signals. Signals that the guy is not committed to you, some more than others. The singles site, is a terrible sign. The site is for dating, and at worst, most of the relationships are long distance/over the internet, so if anything occurs, the girl will be competing with the new interest on the same level .

The go-go bar, could be influence from the guy's friends, if it's a once only thing, then maybe it'll be easier to let it slide, especially if you feel your guy has remained the same as he was before afterwards. If it's a new hobby, I'd be worried. He hasn't cheated on me, but he's getting fed up. That's what I'd be thinking and the alarm bells would ring.

Porn on the other hand has to be seen within the context. If it's because the guy is losing interest in you, then it's understandable to worry, if it's because the guy feels ashamed to explain his darker desires, then of course communication could solve this issue, but if it's because he's got a libido that's faster than yours then, yet again, if you are able to talk to each other and come to an agreement that would be solved.

It's all about intentions and sometimes our actions don't show our intentions. Sometimes it's not always as simple as our actions but we also need to understand the emotion driving the action - however in the song by Madonna and Justin Timberlake "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." comes handy here, we can't rely on our intentions all the time. Sometimes you just have to let go these 'extra-curricular' activities to show the one you 'love' that you are all for her.
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iice:
[color=#9900ff]Eyah, it's hard when stress starts manifesting in the family, relations starts getting strained, emotions flew high.  After this visit, maybe you guys can sit your mom down and explain.


Personally despite my mother loving the house guest thing, hell no it aint happening
If it's someone we like and enjoy their company fine, if not.  .  .the pesin best be finding somewhere else.
That is not to say people don't crash anyhow in our place(s) [/color]

[color=#008855]At one point, I suggested to my mother that she should tell the guests sorry and pay for them to stay in a hotel. However, the typical words; "That's just not done in Nigeria." came out of her mouth. All these courtisies annoy me, she doesn't want to have to deal with the embarrasment!!

What you said iice, makes sense, sometimes it's not advisable for such an explosive set of people to be inviting guests over. This is day two, my dad finally decided not to book an immediate flight back to Nigeria (I am sure his temper calmed down once he saw the price for a coach ticket and flight changes ). Things are still chaos but a managable chaos. People ask me, how come you're so mature. This is why!! I've been counselling my parents on their affairs and marriage since I was 7 & earlier!! What the!!

Yes, I called my mother and told her that we needed to have a talk as a family when the guests are gone - I just don't think she gets how much things affect this family (same with my dad), she asked me if he was still in the house and when I confirmed it, she chuckled, in that; "He's not serious." way.

ThiefOfHearts:
Your mom's doing that so the family wont say she's the cause of the fight/she's not helping to "save the family". It's a sad situation. Im sure it wasnt to go against your dad's wishes.

I would think that from the relatives noticing your dad's behavior, they'd have the sense to leave/get a hotel. Some people are just clueless.

Your mom should try to come up with a good excuse and cut the visit short

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[color=#008855]Oh, my mother told me that they are clueless that it's them that caused the drift, despite the fact that he refuses to join everybody else and locks himself in another room all day, (a grown man!!). Apparently, they sensed some tension and actually came here to beg my dad, but they've not had the chance, my father doesn't like being convinced to let go of grudges, I think that's why he's avoiding them. They greet him good morning through the door. I'm sure they're aware of something.

Anyways, I feel like I'm spilling my deepest thoughts here, other than romance, sex, love, sport and whatever else, this family issue is serious.

I just thought I'd give you guys a preview of my biography. . joking

Thanks for the responses, much appreciated. I'll keep muttering to myself that "I'm not alone."
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[color=#008855]Funnily enough, being popular can be a turn-off to me. I've just had bad experiences. Being popular means a lot of people will know what goes on in your relationship, even if neither of you say a thing, there are more people to observe the ups and downs and I've always been a person who likes to keep to themselves.

I don't tend to like popular guys because usually their reasons for being interested you are not as sincere, they seem to be more shallow. Not that all of popular guys are like this, but it just seems that they can't help but let it get to their heads how popular and sought after they are.

They tend to be more likely to walk-away from relationships (unless they are hooked onto you) and with so many other distractions I think it's harder to be hooked to one girl

Anyways, I don't mind a man who eventually becomes powerful through hard work, I'd much prefer if I met him just as your average guy.

I don't know I've just had bad experiences - them wanting you to be what the public eye want you to be, other girls judging you because they want him, him having so many commitments outside the relationship e.t.c. .
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