₦airaland Forum

[color=#cc0066]Yes, there are some women who will tolerate no less than four Mercedes Benz's, however most women won't mind dating a man who aspires to be wealthy at all, and not just in the mind, the man must get off his lazy bum and work, he must have plans to make his dreams come true.

Most women may not admit to wealth being a requirement for a beau, but they at least want someone with potential to develop. I don't believe a woman exists who will choose to marry a man who wants to live in his shack with his 5 kids and do hard manual labour and digging for the rest of his lives. To me that sounds like a turn off, a man should always want to better himself in every way possible.

If someone who was struggling financially but had plans and took action to make his dreams come true and worked hard for a more comfortable future, that would be enough for me, I won't lie, a man who is wealthy, creates the picture of a comfortable life and retirement for a woman, and who doesn't want that.

I believe the 'poorer' men wouldn't be complaining if they too were making things happen for themselves, they seem to have accepted defeat and living poor for the rest of their lives, and want the women to accept that too.

Sorry! It just isn't going to happen.

And to all the men who are still struggling, but are working towards a comfortable lifestyle, congratulations to you, if any woman rejects you because you are not ready made, ignore them, there will always be some who will appreciate the hard work involved in becoming successful.[/color]

[color=#cc0066]My technique has always to show my full potential, not to hold back, and not worry whether he deserves it or not. Even if the guy is a jerk, I give my all (until I find out he is), I am caring, loving, kind. . . but I must point out the important bit, I am never with a guy who is a jerk or doesn't deserve it, once I find out the guy doesn't deserve it, I leave. I don't compromise my personality, because of his inability to give equally into the relationship. I'm not with jerks in the first place, so I can continue to use the method of giving myself completely into all my relationships. I prefer it that way.[/color]

[color=#cc0066]If you have to ask, then I suggest you shouldn't go ahead. You know her better than anyone on this forum does, so we are far less able to make a good decision. Stick with the safest decision, just don't do it.

If she is of the kinky sort, I guess you can hint her, but don't just go straight into the deep end and show her the videos, she might think that you are not a serious guy, or maybe that you're trying to groom her for sex.[/color]

[color=#cc0066]This is not a current situation:

'My boyfriend is only romantic when he's tipsy or drunk, does that count or mean anything?'

Scenario:

"I don't drink, but my boyfriend drinks everyday, even when there is no reason to, just a glass of vodka if he has any around. I have been in my bed alone a few times and sober, when he's gone out with his boys, and then I'll receive a phone call from him, saying 'we need to talk', he'D suddenly get all serious and unlike himself and start pouring out his heart and soul, saying he really cares for me, never found anyone ever like me, wants our relationship to last forever. He says he 'loves me'. But when he's sober, he teases me, makes jokes about me, he's flirty, but un-romantic. His actions don't seem to match, he has gradually becoming lazier in the relationship, not replying my texts or telling me where he is or even calling. But then at the same time, I'll be surprised with a call, where he says we should try to work out the future so we can stay together or that he completely trusts me, that there is no one else he wants to be with, he'll even open up, about his struggles, and cry."

Question:

Confessions of the heart made under the influence of alcohol, would you take them seriously/believe them or not, considering that the person's general behaviour is of someone who couldn't give a damn about you?[/color]

[color=#cc0066]Actions speak louder than words, and not even the typical 'buying flowers' or 'paying for dates' those are the typical easy gentlemanly favours that even players use to disguise their game.

If he isn't checking up on me or showing sincere concern then how can he love me? If after ignoring my texts, partying with his boys and then one night after a party he crashes at mine, and to make it worse, if he's drunk and then he utters the words. .
*laughs*
It means absolutely nothing, and in fact, I'll lose respect for him, that his game is that see-through.[/color]

[color=#cc0066]She was probably expecting you to be a mind reader and automatically know what response she wants back. With things like that generally, it is nice to reciprocate, you didn't, you just accepted Not a fatal mistake though.

I threw my ex's bible onto his bed when I was clearing space on the table and he had a fit!
Another was spelling God with a little 'g' by accident.

Funny thing was he was probably more superstitious than religious.[/color]

DeepZone:
Lol, this is the funniest i've read this evening. Girl, who told you that skinny women always starve?

[color=#cc0066]Not skinny women, the really thin women, really thin women usually starve, it is much more common to find a woman who is really thin because she doesn't eat too much, than one who genetically has a faster metabolism/struggles to gain weight. Skinny women don't all starve, I am merely referring to the ones that do.[/color]

[color=#cc0066]I don't have anybody, but only a year ago, my sister was my best friend above all, but we've become distant, I have close friends but I haven't built a relationship to the extent in which I am 100% confident that they have my back - no matter what.[/color]

[color=#cc0066]Well, I won't say that fat women are happier, but women who take care of their bodies, who enjoy their food just tend to be happier. The really thin girls may be stressed from lack of food and having to starve and watch whatever they're eating, and the overweight women may also be more nagging, and jealous of every 'skinny' girl their boyfriend steals a glimpse at.[/color]

[color=#cc0066]With all the examples you listed above, the women were obviously not being completely honest, either in their words or actions. They may also be what you called two faced. Women behave more two-faced than men do. They like to string on men also, so even though they are not interested in a guy, they still like his attention and don't send him signals that they are not interested because they don't want to lose his interest in them. Another possiblity is just that the women are embarrased to admit that they like the attention or the guy.

But guys do this too![/color]

[color=#cc0066]I have been in a similar situation but, I ignored the guy who after all my chasing only now had realised that he liked me, because sometimes people only want what they can't have, which may be the same reason why you are interested in the 1st girl.

Like I said, go with your heart, who knows if you and your current girlfriend are even going to last anyway (hate to sound negative), nobody knows the future, so just do what you feel, but make sure you handle it neatly. Cut off things with the current girlfriend and then state where you stand with th 1st girl.[/color]

[color=#cc0066]What has probably happened is the case, where you have dedicated most if not all your time to achieving your academic and financial goals and working, you have spent very little time in the past trying to learn more and interact with women. I am not saying you are shy or timid, all I am saying is that, it is probably only now that you have time for women.

Don't worry, you will know when you are in love, and you may as well have been without knowing it, the truest of love, is one that makes you content, not the one that is written and depicted in stories and movies. When you are in love, you are happy in life, with your partner, it should not be a strategic move, some people are able to achieve a love like that in the movies, but as time passes, a long lasting relationship is made by hard work and not just walks in the park.

I advice that you start meeting more people, don't act desperate to get married, but you may be reasonably pushy with being outgoing and meeting new people, you need to make more female friends and also ask your friends about suitable matches. Start dating, first focus on what you have in common with the woman in terms of goals and aspirations, and then pinpoint early habits that you really cannot tolerate, if the woman passes these two first tests then you should give the relationship your all, don't try and follow the rule book, do what comes natural, care for her like you would like to be cared, treat her like a very very close friend, hopefully you find this woman attractive, if so, things should come naturally.

Maybe, you haven't fallen in love because you have not let yourself release your emotions, if you don't give you can't receive, you need to express yourself and your truest feelings in your relationships, this way you can learn more from the relationship, understand the benefits and disadvantages of certain things.

Practice makes perfect, just take it slow, just make sure you make an effort to be open minded and step out of the norm.

I need more information if I am to further suggest any tips, the above is pretty general.[/color]

bigboyslim:
n-guage, can you go a little bit easy on the sister. for all you care she doesn't date New Yorkers so why are you making noise.

[color=#cc0066]lol[/color]

Hannibal:
A player is LESS GUILTY than the chic that got played in ma opinion.

[color=#cc0066]Explain . . . (before I attack!)[/color]

[color=#cc0066]Telling someone you 'love' them when the time is not right can jeopardise things, if you and the new girl are well acquainted, you may not have to profess your love, just take her out a few times, or visit her, become more acquainted, take it slow, there's no rush, don't feel that you have to put everything on the line. If you take it slow, you have more time to observe how the new girl feels about you and whether you have a chance. If you are already at that stage and she seems to like you back, just tell her how you feel, no point holding back, but only if you're at that stage. You could easily scare her off if she barely knows you.[/color]

[color=#cc0066]None whatsoever.[/color]

[color=#cc0066]Yeah, why not, it doesn't hurt [/color]

[quote author=n-guage link=topic=172275.msg2812658#msg2812658 date=1221615655]I wasn't serious with you because you weren't wifey material. We did all kinds of knky stuffs on that night I picked you up, and you still expected me to be serious. GTFOH[/quote][color=#cc0066]The 'yous' are creeping me out.[/color]

[color=#cc0066]I believe all women should be treated with care, whether they are 'worthy' or not. I think if a woman is not 'worthy' then she shouldn't be dated anyways. This might force her to change her ways.[/color]

[color=#cc0066]You're new, welcome to Nairaland. Please what do you mean by 'orientated enough'.

Best way to treat a woman, is to treat her like a human being, but mostly, how you would like to be treated. Instead of focusing so much on ways of treating her, focus on ways of bettering yourself, by being a better man, she will love you more for it. Becoming, trustworthy, loyal, caring, understanding, reliable . . . [/color]

[color=#cc0066]I can understand why you worry, but if they truly love each other, the main issue has been solved, more than age, race or any other superficial quality, love means much more.

Though she is significantly older than him, it does not compromise him in anyway, you should try not to make this relationship about you and your feelings of awkwardness towards their relationship.[/color]

[color=#cc0066]Nope, you've figured it out already, cut as many ties as possible with them (not all, because who knows what the future holds). They may only want you back because they can't have you. Why'D they let you go in the first place, and why'D it take them until now to realise and admit their mistake? Yes yes, we are all humans, but if we allow our ego and pride to become involved in our decisions, we can end up delaying a reunion or making a breakup worse.

I've just noticed that this topic is over 2 years old, tell us what the outcome is [/color]