₦airaland Forum

Prosnelson:
The house please advise, I went for USA visa interview today but I was denied, the amount of denial I saw was something else almost every body left with blue paper
My transcript goes like this

Me.Good morning sir
Vo. Good morning
Vo.Why did you choose Suffolk University
Me I choose to study in Suffolk University because of the outstanding curriculum and course content that matches my career goal of becoming a biologist, also the offer scholarship and financial aid opportunities for outstanding student like my myself the region is also relatively cheap and known for it's very low crime rate
Vo who is sponsoring you
Me my uncle
Sorry u do not qualify for this visa

My tuition is 59 thousand USD
My question is does it mean that my uncle with different surname can not sponsor me with such amount of tuition fee?
Is it possible for my sponsor to change his account details to my surname maybe next time I will say he is my father
Please advise and tell me a way out

$59,000 tuition per year, excluding living expenses, to be paid by your uncle? Yeah sorry bro…

Also I think having your uncle change his surname to match yours and calling him your dad is immigration fraud.

walmadamori:
In as much as you need to prepare well and answer questions intelligently and confidently, iI believe prayer and God favour is the key because from what I saw from my own experience at the Lagos consulate office, some people do not stand a chance of getting approval from the VO from the way the interaction begins. Also your profile on the DS160 can equally disqualify you even if you answer all the questions well. The mood of the VO and the intuition or vibe He/she gets from you also determines the approval.

Not true. The application criteria for an F1 visa is clearly stated. Prayer is not one of them. For the person you quoted, he is going for a bachelors degree 15 years after he left secondary school. His reasoning is that he spent that time doing an ND and HND. Both should take a maximum of 5 years. What has he been doing for the other 10 years? Did he indicate he was gainfully employed for those years?

Also, the VOs now know that a HND degree is equivalent to a bachelors degree in Nigeria. Why would he want to do a second bachelors? His is a quintessential example of an educational aspiration that isn’t intended to enhance his career.

Marks112:
Hello everyone,I want to travel to the us but not planning to go to school ,just need something to enter with, to hustle till I get papers
Which is the best way to enterlike which visa should I apply for ,was thinking school but was told if I don’t go to school ,my status will be cancelled but visiting still gives me 6months grace
And the visiting is highly unlikely for me cos I don’t have business here or husband or anything that will indicate I’m coming back to nigeria
Please which visa should I apply for?

Hustle what?
There is no US visa for hustling.

Ogbanz:
Since, I aspire to be a Professor... Can I change my goal now,that I would like to take up a lecturing position at my Alma-mater upon completion. I know for any denial, the VO would put a comment to justify his/her action. Will modifying my career goal have any effect on my next interview?

Thanks once again @fairheart @justwise @lagosismyhome @imprexious @gboyegad @twood @texrem

You can but as you rightly noted, your earlier career goal is now in their database so it might be difficult. But you never know unless you try again.

Pace6:
I applied and got admitted in a university in the US and my interview date was scheduled for today but unfortunately I was denied. The school I applied is $12k tuition and $8k estimated living expenses with other fees a total of $23,512

Me: good morning

VO: good morning

I see that you applied for this university, how did you get to know about it?

Me: Through my uncle who owns an educational consulting firm

VO: have you traveled outside Nigeria before?

Me: No ma’am

VO: who’s sponsoring your trip?

Me: My uncle

VO: when did you finish secondary school?

Me: 2006

VO: what have you been doing since then?

Me: I’ve had a National Diploma and a Higher National Diploma from xyz school in Nigeria

VO: hands back my passport and a green paper to me!

At this point I felt devastated and heart broken.

Please gurus in the house do you think I said anything wrong?

Was it that the tuition fee is way too much or too small?

An ND and HND does not take 15 years.

Ogbanz:
Good Morning everyone.

I got a US visa denial recently in Lagos, Nigeria. However, could not point out where exactly the problem came from. Kindly read my transcripts below and assist me. I am about reapplying.

Status: Denied-Lagos, Nigeria.
Time: 8:45am @ 16th June 2021
(I got full ride scholarship)

VO: Good morning sir.
Me: Good morning to you, sir. And how are you doing, sir?
VO: I am fine, sir. Please, pass me your passport & i20
Me: You can have it, sir.
VO: Where are you going, sir?
Me: I am going for doctoral studies in Engineering Physics at the University of Missouri, St. Louis with a concentration in Mathematical Physics & Quantum Computation.
VO: I can see you have full funding from the department. Will you be working for the department?
ME: sure sir
VO: are you married?
Me: Yes. I am married and blessed with 3 kids sir
VO: are there going with you?
Me: Obviously no, sir. My wife works as a clinical Sociologist at ABC Agency in Lagos. And my kids will be staying with her
VO: what your concentration?
Me: Mathematical Physics & Quantum Computation
VO: Have you traveled before?
Me: Yes sir. In the year 2014 with my wife for a vacation.
VO: Where sir?
ME: U.A.E
VO: He took my passport out of his counter to the inner room for a while and came back (I think he took it in for verification).
VO: You have a master’s degree in physics, right?
Me: yes sir.
VO: what do you do sir?
Me: I work as a Computer/System analyst at ABC Health Agency where I manage the Computer System and Internet infrastructure, Train staff on Computer & Networking skills, Facilitate training etc
VO: what do you intend to do with this degree when you finish?
Me: Upon completion, I would return to my job at the agency and assume a new position of research fellow where I will build capacity, develop new products and work closely with the development & innovation arm of the agency to produce new products. I will also collaborate and publish papers in reputable journal outlets.
VO: type for some time and hand me a blue paper.

Thank You

Your program of study, what you currently do and what you intend to do after your education do not match. Why would you waste time on an engineering physics PhD just to come back and continue working at essentially a cyber cafe?

Approvalll:
Hello everyone I will be applying very soon to go to the embassy for my MBA I have been denied f1 student visa three times in the past this will be my 4th attempt even though I’ve been to the US about 8 times in the past on a b1/b2 visa and always returned(never stayed more than 6 weeks) I have a good travel history and I also have strong ties to my home country Nigeria as my family own multiple companies comprising of hotels,food and beverage factories and rental properties. I think the mistake was during my first interview I applied for a community college I didn’t know the difference because I’ve never tried to school there before and got wrong information from a bad source and went to the embassy with it also during the first interview i told the consular that my father has a vacation home in the US and there is where I will be staying while going to school and I got rejected but the second and third times I used a proper university with no funding everything was to be fully funded by my father who is a businessman and also a retired civil servant I would like to know if the denial has permanently tarnished my profile and good travel history and would it possible to get the visa this time as I have no funding everything is still being fully funded by my father was it a trump administration thing to limit foreign students please I need advice on what to do because I’m seriously considering giving up on this American dream and trying another country should I consider going ahead with it or I should just focus on another country will the previous denials limit my chances of approval? Please guys I need your help and advice should I just forget about it and go to Canada? is it possible to get a visa after multiple rejections I’m so depressed right now also contemplated committing suicide it’s extremely frustrating please I need you guys help and sincere advice please anyone thanks and God bless

Bro, punctuations, and the use of paragraphs helps others better comprehend what you write.

That there, in highlights, is your major problem. Your father having a vacation home in the US suggests you are less likely to come back after your studies. At your next interview, you need to get ahead of that by explaining why this does not impact your own career choice.

ifeanyimoses:
Thank you Fair heart, you have really been of great assistance.

Just a quick one, is it the same statement uploaded to request for I-20 that I would use for visa at the embassy ( I mean in terms of period, For example, if I am uploading SOA for I-20 today, the seating balance would be atleast the deficit for 20/06/2021, what if when I go for the interview, my sponsor has withdrawn, would the visa guys consider seating balance at as interview day or at as the day I uploaded I-20 ??, or what if my sponsor withdraws before visa day??, would my sponsor have to leave that amount from today when I upload the statement for I-20 till the day I go for the visa interview.

Please I need your clarifications??, I really appreciate.



Please guys, can anyone help me out

Good God, you guys make everything so complicated. Why is your sponsor "withdrawing"? Did you not discuss this with him prior to your application?

osadestiny:
LONG POST AHEAD!!

Hello all, a very happy Fathers day to all the fathers in the house and a happy Sunday to all of us. Please I would love to say I am going for my interview on the 28th of June in abuja, this is going to be my 4th time. I have been refused 3 times now, once in Lagos consulate and two times in abuja embassy. I am praying for the lord to help me this time around because I have made some errors in the past.

First interview in Lagos 31st of December 2020
Vo: how old are you? Note: Undergraduate studies
Me: I am 22.
Vo: how come at the age of 22 you were able to travel to Congo, Kenya and Ghana for a missionary work?
Me: yes after my high school I went for a missionary service for my church which I did for two years.
Vo: okay I see, so were you paid during this missionary work?
Me: no it was a voluntary missionary service.
Vo: where are you going to?
Me: I am going to xxxy for my xxxx
Vo: why this school and what will the degree do for you?
Me: I explained as I was directed to the extent that the Vo continue nodding his head.
Vo: so how will you be paying for your studies, my COA was $34,000
Me: meanwhile in the place where it was stated who will be paying for the trip in my ds-160, I went to put self sponsor thinking it was just only the flight ticket. I told the Vo that my father will be my sponsor.
Vo: what does he do
Me: he works in a microfinance bank
Vo: did he gave you any of his financial documents?
Me: yes he did, handed his bank statement
Vo: he went through it and then said is this the same bank your dad works with?
Me: I never expected that question because I knew that microfinance bank was different from other banks so the Vo was thinking it was a regular bank, I told him No that this not the bank he works with.
Vo: he then asked me his position in the work
Me: I told him
Vo: he typed for so long, I was thinking I would be granted then he handed the blue paper that I am not eligible for this visa.

I dropped my transcript, some people told me I wouldn't have used microfinance as the occupation of my father, I then deferred to the fall semester and reapplied again in abuja.

Second attempt in Abuja.
Vo: have you traveled outside Nigeria before
Me: yes, I have been to Kenya, Congo and Ghana for a missionary service
Vo: who is sponsoring your studies and what is the occupation of your sponsor
Me: my dad, I told the vo that my dad is into sales of vehicles, which I didn't mention in the first interview
Vo: he immediately checked my i-20, he glanced through it, I am sure he checked my COA of $34,000 then he just gave me back my documents that I am not eligible.

Third attempt still in abuja ( this time around I used a different school, for this very school I had a tuition waiver of $5,000 and the deficit was $20,000 going for undergraduate (

Vo: I see you have a scholarship, well that's good. So where are you going to
Me: I am going to xxxxy for my xxxxy
Vo: how did you hear about this school
Me: from a colleague during my missionary service
Vo: who is sponsoring you and what does your sponsor do?
Me: I still repeated what I said in the second interview that my dad is the sponsor and he is into the sales of vehicles in my city.
Vo: typed for so long then handled the green paper. He said I am so sorry but you are still not eligible for this visa at this time.

I gathered myself again and then I reapplied gotten a date now and it going to be on the 28th of June that is 8 days from now. I know I changed the occupation of my father when I was asked in the second and third attempt of my interview. But this was because of what people told me about microfinance workers that it wouldn't convince the Vo enough so that was the reason I had to use the sales of vehicles, my dad does that too but that is not his primary occupation. I know the first Vo recorded the occupation I said in the first interview but I don't know if may is because of this that i was denied and I am going for the 4th time, my deficit is not too big compared to the one I used in the first interview. This very one is $20k. Please I need you to advice me on what to do in next interview on Monday the 28th of junr regarding my sponsor. Please your contributions will really help me, it took me a lot of courage for me to continue this journey I almost gave up. Please I need all of your help on this. @fairheart, Twoods and the rest of you all

It would be good to know what school and major you are going for. That may give you a clue as to what the problem is... Also what in your father's statement of account? Does it have more than enough funding for your education? If your COA is $20,000 and your dad only has the equivalent of $24,000, you should know that will be a problem.

fairheart:
Why do you need to know her University? So that people will bomb it as they now did with Western Illinois University? I heard yesterday from someone at the embassy that many applicants came with Western Illinois University I-20 and almost, if not all of them, including someone who is fully funded, were refused.

So I have advised those who are in touch with me not to reveal their schools on this forum. I advise potential applicants that will be approved to keep their school out as well. Let every student find their own school and have a unique profile, so that they will take you serious when you apply for your visa at the embassy.

For your information, WIU was funding students until over 2500 Nigerian students bombed the school with applications. Now, they are reaping the result with many refusals.

Remember, the United States has over 5000 colleges and universities, so find your own school. Do the work! Don't avoid the work! It will help your journey. This is for all of you here!

I've been banging this drum to no avail. It's like for most... shortsighted selfish interest takes priority over anything else.

Go get married, to a good, God-ordained spouse. It's amazing how much more your life is enriched by the right person.

Damilare68:
Buhahahaha. Contradictions yeah. Lol. I heard you o, because apparently you have chosen to read my post the way you want.

One, you put it as if demanding for name of schools is exclusive to having access to the kind of opportunities that can count as scoops and vacancies, and what not. You can't even begin to unravel the many possibilities that can come with having that info--no one can.

Two, you say it is silly. I don't dispute that. Whether it is silly or not is not my point. In your haste to comment, you forget that I am merely stating a fact that that is inevitable. How you choose to respond to it is your own kettle of fish--which is not my point at all. And how you conclude by framing it this way ' threaten to harass' beats me. That just tries to push the discussion into another terrain entirely. But then, it is well.

Three, shaking my head. Of course the ISO provides all the information you need. But can you ever have too much information. And why can't you approach your country fellow for additional information, especially if the individual already resides there. Like, are you really saying that is needless, because I am reading your words and literarily shaking my head. I mean, many 'potential' schools provide all the information you need to apply and stuff, and yet people come here to ask for clarity pre- and post-application procedure. You can't even envisage the kind of question people need to ask, so chalking it up to only taking the advice of the ISO or that being enough is a mute point jare. I am sure you have given pieces of advice to people that would have been given by their schools. So, your point does not even fly at all. And attributing the need to reach out to country fellows to fearing or being lazy to reach out to other nationals is just a terrible argument. Hasty conclusion. And disappointing.

4. What is the point of my post because I said I (me o, which means it doesn't affect me) don't care if anybody hides. Lol. You sef.

5. Again, bro, you cannot prescribe what can inspire something for someone. You may be surprised that the name of the school will prompt a chain reaction. Come on, can you research all the schools in the US. Plus, while this might suggest encouraging laziness, the truth is sometimes, like an interview boiling down to a VO, sometimes choosing one school over the other is what determines an admission. And that is just the sad truth. And no one can put that part of the process to a science.

This is not a fight, and I tire of arguments. So, essentially, because I wouldn't want to drag this further, my point is yll should do what feels right to you, but consider the reason why you are hiding.

Shalom.

We can agree to disagree. All the best to you.

neurosci:
This information is wrong and highly misleading. First, an LPN is not even a nursing degree, it is a nondegree certificate. An ADN is a nursing degree, and most community colleges (pretty much every community college that has a nursing program) offers the ADN. And what in the world is "look for nursing schools instead?" Aren't both the LPN and ADN offered in nursing schools? Or are they offered in Law schools lol?

You could have simply assisted her and helped answer her questions instead.

tunapawizzy:
I just cant understand why people justify not sharing the name of unis that admitted them with 'people are too lazy to do research'. Do they know how many people have searched extensively and have not found something that is a proper fit for them. That you share school name does not mean, a new applicant wont still put in effort in preparing his or her application. Some dont search for long before they find a fit, some do for so long before they find one. Some get the right info from people and their search is short.... That the journey was tedious n long for one doesnt mean it has to be for others....abi which kain naija lecturer mindset be that.

And? How is that anyone's problem?

If you have a problem searching for a school that is a proper fit for you, why should the school others are admitted to suddenly be the proper fit for you? Perhaps what you need to do is re-evaluate your career goals and reason for studying in the US.

You have things upside down, the naija mentality is one where no one wants to put in any effort... they just want to crib from others.

theForth:
Please are there any cheap schools for MSc in the us?
Abeg!!

Google.com

This is chockful of contradictions.

Damilare68:
But this is not entirely true. Some people get scoops on PhD funding appointments or vacancies from adverts posted here. Imagine someone applying to a funded PhD program whose advert was shared on this platform, like many we have been seeing, gets in and then shares a transcript and hides those details...

This more than fair. However, what folks are demanding aren't scoops, funding opportunities or vacancies. They are demanding for names of schools. Even if... the info you're asking for is publically available online to everyone. It isn't hidden.

Damilare68:
Also, I understand very well how people can be lazy and expect you to do all the work for them--frankly speaking, hiding both school and program details will not stop that. They can find you anywhere and still bombard you with that. Heck, your close and distant friends and fam can/will do that to you once you leave--gbagbe you can't escape it. So, if it is about that, then I think that is 'quite' a defeated campaign.

This is silly. There is a reason the "block" feature exists. You can't threaten to harass someone because you're too lazy to do your own work.

Damilare68:
For instance, not everybody checks out your transcript in the future or now to know where to apply. Some need contacts to make practical inquiries after getting admission to those 'schools'. Some of these are about accommodation, and other details on resettling that only someone living or studying in that environment can offer.

Again, this all boils down to laziness or fear of approaching folks you don't know. Every University that admits international students has an International Student Office. It is their job to provide you this information. Part of your admission letter comes with an information pack that provides you all the information you need in terms of cost of living, what facilities (e.g. transportation, city sites, temporary or permanent housing, banking, etc.) are available to you. Some schools have someone to pick you up at the airport. Many of the questions asked here can be answered simply by speaking with your ISO or program coordinator.

Damilare68:
Of course, no one owes anybody any explanation.

Of course no one can force you to hide or reveal your school.

Frankly, I don't care if you do or not.

So what is the point of your post?

Damilare68:
But at least let people be inspired by your story if it is inspiring.

You can be inspired by the story to do your own work... the name of the school isn't necessary.

Steph1738aye:
It also doesn’t really concern you if they choose not to put in any effort or be lazy in their research…

Neither should it concern you if others choose not to make the names of the school they attend public.

Steph1738aye:
What is so wrong with sharing the name of school you’re accepted into after getting your visa approved? I don’t know if it’s a Nigerian mentality but it’s entirely icky.

I would say its the other way round - Nigerian mentality is what drives people to sit here demanding others share the names of schools they were accepted into so they don't have to put in any effort.

Steph1738aye:
I remember going through Nairaland and seeing a post by someone here saying that she doesn’t understand why so many Nigerians will apply to one school. Just imagine that thought.

It's a valid question...

Steph1738aye:
I agree that there may be “lazy” people that will reach out to you for assistance on application or whatnot but you can choose to help or tell them to do their research. Isn’t this platform made to assist one another? One person’s light doesn’t stop your own light from shining.

I'm confused. Which is it? If people are free to tell others to do their own research then what is the point of your post?

SmartJac:
Good day, I was denied Student Visa today and am still wondering what I did wrong.

First she asked me why the school, what I have been doing since I finished school, my age and if am married next thing she just stopped when I told her my Sponsor is our family friend and explained our family ties but she gave me the blue paper.

There are no “family ties” between friends. You just told the VO you were simply using his/her account statement to obtain a visa. No friend is paying thousands of dollars to send you to school.

TitilayoAde:
Hi, I am new here. I wanted to do nursing (Associate Degree) in the US. Can anyone recommend a community college that is accepting International students? I have searched the internet but I wasn't getting enough info. Please help a sister out if you are currently doing nursing or about to. Thanks in advance!

You will likely be denied. A nursing degree from most community colleges is a basic LPN. You should look for nursing schools instead…University of Rochester School of Nursing is one I recommend.

ishow:
Just curious, what is wrong with getting schools with good funding from Nairaland? I would argue exploring all 16 parts of this thread either for interview transcript or finding good schools is also a form of research and due diligence.

Let’s face it, it isn’t. It’s frankly lazy. The number of schools referenced here are only a tiny fraction of the number of schools available. I also think chastising people for exercising their right to not mention school programs they found through their own hard work is unfair bullying. Do your own work.

Tshendy:
Good evening all.
Please my wife interview F2 visa interview is coming up this month but we have issue with her name

The name on her passport is her maiden name and that was what was used to prepare her I-20. But she has done change of name and she filled her new name on ds-160. Please I hope this will not cause any problem.

I mailed the international office to change her name to her new name but they said the policy is that they should use only verified names and names are verified through passport.

Please what do you think we should do

Passport, I-20 and DS-160 forms are all immigration documents, you absolutely need to maintain the same name across all three to avoid unnecessary hassle. The easiest thing would be to fill out another DS-160 form and use her maiden name all through.

morgang:
I am okay with one being discrete about their profession, company name etc. Few years ago when I began this journey, I skimmed through from part 1; page 1 to the most recent post, I could barely see anyone being discrete with name of schools or amount of funding. It was a thorough and insightful transcripts all round. This platform is beyond any form of self-centeredness; I refer lot of people to this platform each time my old pals reach out for student visa or travel guidance. I hope he realized that the journey is beyond getting visa.

"Guidance" being the operative word. Most people asking for names of schools, amount of funding etc., are not looking for guidance, they are simply too lazy to do their own research so they come here, hoping to just crib off someone else. If you were here for guidance, you don't need name of school, the process is more than enough. What did folks do before Nairaland existed?

michlins:
Even Nigeria is operating on grace. Na grace all of us dey use operate

omonnakoda:
If you could reason properly you would not introduce the "black man" comment

Clearly you have a complex


Free speech is relative thing

France has a "Holocaust " denial law but criticizes those with blasphemy laws. Is that not hypocrisy
In many of these countries including Twitter religious opinions on homosexuality are blocked in the name of "hate speech"


We need to learn how to debate issues without taking sides personally

There is no contradiction. I support the ban on Twitter but I do not support Buhari's government
Buhari will not be there for ever

Twitter must show itself as subordinate to our laws

That means it it has any issue it should go TO A NIGERIAN COURT
Now if Twitter is not registered as a business in Nigeria it cannot do that so this is a smart trade move opening up the space for Nigerian companies

You seem confused. Twitter doesn’t have to be subordinate to your laws. In the grand scheme of things, you need them, not the other way around.

France Holocaust denial law isn’t an abrogation of free speech, it is to prevent giving a platform to sympathizers of one of the worlds most heinous crimes. The same laws exist in Germany and Israel.

Blocking anti-gay speech isn’t a loss of free speech, it is meant to protect people from discrimination. It’s the same reason Twitter also blocks people from calling you a monkey and the “N” word.

superstar1:
Nigeria will not back down. We just told your US Canada and UK to their faces.

Just today, France fined Google £190m - US Canada and UK are deaf and dumb! It is only African countries they are always happy to comment on. Idiots

Twitter will be just fine without Nigeria. It is banned in the most populous nation on earth (China) and it’s still going strong. Ultimately Nigeria is the biggest loser. Your government has just proven it has zero regard for free speech and is essentially an authoritarian regime in disguise. Good luck drawing the needed foreign investment with these types of rash policies.

mimme14sure:
Good Day Everyone. I have a bit of a challenge. I have my visa interview next week. This is after I requested an emergency booking. I just found out that on my DS 160 form, I indicated the course of study as Chemical Engineering but on my I-20 it's Chemical & Biomolecular Engineering. Would it be an issue during the interview? How do I answer/defend this error?

Which one should I say when asked during the interview? DS160 or I-20

Please, I really need help to answer this.

Thank you

Sounds like the same thing to me...

Simeonee111:
Take it or leave it, Yahaya Bello is going to gain a very massive support come 2023

He has built a University in Kogi
He has fixed rural roads across the 3 sentatorial districts
He is building giant hospitals everywhere in Kogi
Kogi workers get paid every month end
He has employed over 3,000 health workers
He has empowered security and made Kogi one of the safest places

You may not like him for your own political reasons
But this guy is one of the best Governors currently in Nigeria and he has my support for 2023!

Amazing the trite things Nigerians celebrate - his most basic duty. What did you expect? Workers to be paid every year?

Tjra:
LONG STORY ALERT!!!


Good afternoon Nairaland.

God has been so good to my family this year and a particular blessing has been giving us sleepless night.

I work with a big organisation here in Lagos and currently earn about N600k. I used to work in the branch since my entry level days 6 years ago until I was able to runz the head office movement.

Ever since I join the HQ two years, my life has been at ease. No weekend duties, no sickening pressures from customers. I have been able to develop my self, complete the professional courses I abandoned and can rest well on weekends/public holidays.

The worklife balance now isn't only the advantage of working at the HQ. The career progression and rapid promotion crowns it all.

My spouse earns a little above N400k and we manage ourselves well. Our combined income isn't that much but we've been able to achieve a lot due to our mutual cooperation. She commits her resources 100% into our home. Some people see me as a "big man" outside, no knowing I am actually enjoying the reward of marrying a good wife.

My wife recently got a job very lucrative job. Salary is about N1.5M monthly. She was on the process for close to a year. You can imagine our joy when she was eventually given an offer. This job is a huge one for us as a family and will make life more sweet.

My pain now is the job is based at Abuja and that means she has to relocate there with our kids. Abuja is not where I can drive to considering the security situation of Nigeria. Also, it won't be wise to fly down every week (I also have hidden phobia for heights ) because of costs and other attendant risks.

I actually want us to live together as a family most especially because of our kids. Some Kids tend to be spoilt when raised almost alone their mothers. As a father, I want to jointly raise them with their mother and also instill discipline in them appropriately.

The only solution on sight is to ask my company for redeployment to a branch at Abuja. This I fear might return me back to "Egypt". I.e days of stunted growth, no promotions. In summary, I am scared of killing my career by myself.

My wife is okay with us visiting each other every month but I am vehemently against it.

Someone please help

My brother, you have your answer. N1.5m PER MONTH is nothing to sniff at.

1. If you force your wife to stay in Lagos and miss that opportunity, you risk her resenting you later.
2. If she goes to Abuja while you stay in Lagos, that isn't a marriage at all. Money should never be an excuse for spouses to stay apart. You will never gain back the years you missed, especially your children's milestones.
3. Take the move to Abuja with her, nothing says a man cannot make the sacrifice for his family - it doesn't diminish your role as head of your family. You have a good wife... I would not expect her being the primary provider to change that.

Pray, support your wife, move with her... you never know if God is asking you to move because he has something better for you as well.

Righteousness2:
Who makeup help?
If your Eyes are open to see what many put on as make up, you will set all those things ablaze.

You are Fearfully and wonderfully created.
All you need is to be neat. Many of those things are the root of your problems.

My brother, that's not true. We should be careful not to exalt the doctrines of men into the commandments of God. In the early 1990s, I once knew a "chaste" girl who wore no make-up and always had her hair completely wrapped, with long dresses... she ended up pregnant for one of the "brothers" in the church... a worship leader.

srrrr:
Do you know that Social media can be used to start a revolution against a government. I don't support Buhari or his government, but no reasonable government would tolerate this. Twitter has power and power must be controlled and regulated, else it'll get out of hand

The easy way to prevent Twitter from being used to start a revolution against a government is for that government to be responsive to its people. The problem isn't Twitter... it is the fact that the people themselves are fed up with a government that doesn't work for its people and simply exists as a parasite, sucking the very life out of the people they are supposed to defend and protect.