₦airaland Forum

HellVictorinho6:
wealth means u can command literate and educated people to serve u sincerely.

Please, explain better

vibrant40:
Okay. I met this girl in an exam hall, we were both writing exams, so we did the student things, she asked me a maths question which she was kind of afraid of and me being a maths person answered her question and moved on with with my exams. After the exams she search for me to say her gratitude and we moved on. I think after the results was released and she got an A in the exams was when she had to find me and got me on Facebook. She chatted me and introduced herself, so we began chatting from there and that was how I got to know she is my kind of woman.

I asked her out, we started dating or lemme say I started dating her because at a pint she told me we were only friends during the time, be she do come to my side, we do touch and kiss but no s*x. Down the lane I got to know she had a guy whom she was dating but she could not marry because she has so many revelations and dreams that he is not the one and according to her, the guy had so many red flags. At a point I put it to her she should choose what she wanted on time, the guy or myself.


According to her she choose me. Along the line, she told me about another guy disturbing her for romantic relationship, because no matter what she will tell me anything even if she knows I am gonna hurt by that, although I do take it that she is trying to literally tell me to do quick and pop the question if I really want to marry her. All of a sudden I observe she was receiving a Seyi call till like 12midnight, and I would want to call her only for her to be busy on another call for a lengthy period.


She will not stop talking about this guy whenever we are together, how good the guy is to her, she even was like we have the same character but only that the guy is taller than I am and she had also never shy away from talking about the physically height of her dream children.


I saw all these as competition and keep letting her know how much I love and want to marry her. One afternoon, she just rang me and said just a sentence, 'I will marry you'. Well that gave me the assurance I needed, I met her mother (dad is late) and I must confess she has a very good mother, the mom checks on me everyday (infact she did while I was typing this epistle). I popped the questions and she said yes. We had our introduction and currently planing on getting married.


The problem now is, she would still not stop talking about this Seyi guy. She even called me one to tell me she went to his house, that the guy called home to come, I confronted her so many times to tell her how I felt about it, she kept saying sorry and keep repeating the same thing of no cutting loose from the guy, she even claimed that at least she is not having s*x with now that they are just talking..


Some days ago we had a serious argument about this matter and she was like maybe we should even end the relationship if I don't trust her (and this has always been her anthem whenever we have serious arguments, she would say maybe we are not compatible). She later apologized and promised not to let that happen again that she would cut loose of the guy, only for us to be talking via whatsapp last night around 11:40 for to receive this guys call and they spoke for like 10mins. I ended my call, she called back later and was like it was just an innocent talk they had....


Seriously, I am tired and confused, what should I do? Please help me with your candid advice. So sorry for the long epistle and some bad grammar.

All I see here is, you're the problem. Marriage isn't just about feelings, it's about taking responsibility. If she can't take responsibility now and do the needful as you've always told her and she refused, you let her go

Ignorance and illiteracy

Eyes wen Dem take dey chop food different from d one Dem dey use share fish...

Nor b who first enta motor from Warri dey first reach Lagos, dey calm down!

Gloriouspa:
I am happy for you. Congratulations brother.


This post made my day!

I'm glad my life story could lighten up your day
It's a pleasure sharing my story

Thanks and God bless you

I'll advise you to leave the lady. Find someone else to marry. It's all for your health and sanity

Once you marry, different narratives will start churning out. Some, you can't defend.

Wisdom is profitable to direct

Let them get a donor... Your life might be under risk. You might be killed if there's any possibility of you letting others know

You're sitting on a gun powder
Be very careful

She would've just got a divorce and move on with her life than cheating... Cheating for any reason is wrong in marriage

Well, I took time out to read through this touching story. Gold deserves to be happy at life again. No one deserves to be treated like this.

She should brace up and move on. She's 35yrs old and not getting younger. Life is better lived with a companion. She should do whatever she can, go back to Uyo and perform the traditional rite for her freedom. Everything she did for Dave was due to trust and commitment.

Gold, if you're seeing this, there's a lot in store for you. Don't give up. You deserved to love and be loved... But this time, marry someone you truly love, especially someone whose family openly shows love and welcomes you into their family. Marriage isn't just about the person you're marrying, but, about the family

Peace

Marriage is meant for only two matured, responsible and disciplined persons. Those who have understood their strength and weaknesses.

Marriage is for those who have build friendship overtime. You don't start a relationship due to marriage. Your friendship should metamorphose into marriage. This is why many persons get deceived on daily basis.

I once date a lady from my tribe... I kept talking to her about some of her altitudes, but, she's just unteachable. She believes you're the one who needs teaching. Her anger rate is something else. She feels so unprotected or always scared of loosing me due to her past relationships. Though, we were close. I kept it cool and calm. I wasn't under any pressure even though she also bring up the issue of introduction and marriage. Almost 2yrs of our dating, I knew lots of things about her including several revelation, but, I kept it cool.

One day, she said she's tired of the relationship as I'm not interested in marriage. She's a lady not getting younger, she exclaimed. I still didn't say anything. Then, she said I should pay her all the money she has spent in the relationship for almost 2yrs. She calculated them, and gave me. She demanded for the money instantly. Luckily, I had the said amount, no argument, I transferred the money to her. For my mind, case closed
After few days when she travelled back to her work station. Her family members and friends started calling and begging for forgiveness... That was the end of the relationship

Same character that made other guys to leave her was same character that made me not settled with her. She really beautiful and well endowed. If I didn't keep things cool, I would've been trapped in pains. When you keep things cool in your relationship, you will see beyond the glasses.
Before you Kari Cutlass to cut grass, check the kind of grass first. E get y!

Today, I'm a happy man in love and with the best family

I sensed you're a matured lady. For a lady to be alone and also working too, you've a level of maturity

Responsibility and support is key to a healthy relationship. You've been dating for sometime now, you knew the difference between when he had a job and now. You also know his character, if he ticks your box as the right guy you love, nothing stops you from housing him for the main time while he gets another means of livelihood

I'll continue to say, relationship has no rule or formula, go with what works for you both

Acidosis:
You know the world has set a global standard now for dating. Just do as they say. No thoughts. No tacts.


@op, you cannot define a serious man by how much or the extent to which he complies to a set of tactless and baseless rules. And by the way, when it comes to complying to a set of rules, nobody can beat radical players and f**kboys. They know the rules better.

Note that my views are no justifications for you to visit a "ritualist" in his house. For safety reasons ONLY, yes, you should by all means meet in a public space. But for someone you already like, someone you know and talk to via video calls, it doesn't seem like you're worried about safety. But you just want a date anyways because a Hollywood script writer said that, for a relationship to begin or work, you have to start from the basis. Tactless.

Spot on... I do say, relationship has no rule. Just follow what works for you both. Simple!

You feel so disappointed cos he invited you to his house? Sometimes I wonder what gets into the head of some ladies... You just told us how you kind of like him, now, you're disappointed! Really?

Few weeks from now, I'll marry my beautiful princess. We met on Facebook 2yrs ago. After chatting for weeks, I invited her over to my place. It was a wonderful experience and today we're at the last phase of the marriage rite

If you don't like the idea of him inviting you over, why not discuss it with him? What's special about the public outing? If you feel you're not safe going to his house, that means you've noticed a red flag already. If not, you can as well take a friend along, or better still, invite him over to your place. Not everyone loves public outing

Iamzik:
It's always harmless Until they start indoctrinating kids and allowing 4 year olds to sign up for sex change operation without their parent consent, or mandating private companies to have gays and transgender quota.... It's a mob but you won't realize until you give them an inch then they take the whole mile from you.

This is Africa. Let the west face their deranged culture. US Government want to force LGBT "right" on Africans but is not ready to respect polygamy "right" or female circumcision "right"

No country on earth has the moral authority to force its perversed culture on the rest of the world

On point. If they so much love being homosexual, then, they go travel to the west and leave us here

We're Africans, we go with nature. I feel so ashamed how some africans embrace the western culture to the detriment of their own culture. From bleaching, white wedding, fixing of all kinds of hair and now, homosexuality...

Daviddoma:
How did it end

How did it end in what way? Be clear with your question?

Persephone1:
You meet lot of people in the Uni. You can easy chat people up, woo your classmates, and ask a friend to talk to a lady for you but outside unless you are completely shameless you can't just walk up to people on the street.
There is availability and proximity in University.

In the University, you don't have much to focus on. Your parents finance you but outside with bills piling up, the last thing you will think of is relationship.

In the Uni needs aren't much Feelings is enough, outside eyes don tear love is not enough

Well said... Outside school is full of responsibility and almost independent

I understand your story... It's real. From the comment of many, the truth is unveiled

Brother, you have to find your feet on the ground first, before finding anybody's foot

You can't raise anyone when you're even down. Thank God you're different. You clearly understand your goals and aspiration, pursue them with all seriousness. Focus on yourself!

For your mental health and stability, you can leave the house to your friend's place if you can't afford an apartment for the now. The journey of your life has begun!

Las Las your brother and your mom will all be alright!

Following this thread keenly. Studied Electrical/Electronics Engineering

I gave my experience in one of the threads when growing up. A lady complain here when the husband refused her getting a maid or nanny.

NarnieSnyper:
Please, call me on 0703-zero-5-four-7161.
Thanks

This number isn't a WhatsApp number

medube:
Samsung 40" Smart TV

Used and still working perfectly.

Asking price: 80k

Location: Lagos

Drop your WhatsApp number let's discuss. I'm interested

NarnieSnyper:
Clean 42" LG Smart TV in very good condition.
3 HDMI slots, 3 USB slots

Model no: 42LB630v


Asking Price: ₦100k

Drop your contact let's talk via WhatsApp

DownTime44:
He will forever be grateful for this sir. I sent you a mail sir.

Thank you so much

Acknowledged sir

Stephen0mozzy:
Trust me, your elder Bro is aware of his own shortcomings (every first son is aware and it makes life pretty hard when it's not going your way)......I don't think he cried because he felt insulted... Those tears where the reality of his life past, present and the seemingly unpleasant future coming out from where he's buried them.

But he's a man, at 38 he should push himself, he has to be humble to learn something, even if it's driving (he must have learnt how to), then look for work as a driver in a factory or something.

At that age, he doesn't have many options of what to learn as a skill... But he has to start somewhere.

And you, thumbs up to you.. You really have Shown that you're a true hustler and i pray God blesses your hustle to make your mum proud and enjoy her labours of love.

You'll still have to talk to your bro... Not necessarily to apologies, you didn't tell him anything that he doesn't know.... He was just hiding from them.

Talk to him, ask him if there's anything he'll like to do (other than conducting buses)....most conductors who work with buses for that long or even short time actually know how to drive buses.

Don't tell him about how he's falling short.. Just ask him about his plans moving forward.... At this stage he should be humble and not let his age decide what is "beneath" him. Nothing is too small.... Everyone starts from somewhere.

Well, I work in an MEP firm as an Engineer. You can contact me for more discussion. He can learn plumbing or Electrical skills, even both and be sure of job security in any of the MEP firms if he's serious with his learning. For me, I'll suggest he try Electrical due to his age and lucrative aspect of the job.

I'm a senior child and son too almost from same background as yours. So, I understand his position and feelings. He needs more encouragement and support, especially mentally

Drop a mail via NL

OneCandleAway:
Do you realise there are no house of assembly in abuja. No governor. The president is the governor in abuja. So requiring just 25% of votes is fair enough compared yo other state requirements.

And the reps and senators representing all regions, states and constituencies stays in Abuja including all ministers. The head of Abuja is the President himself

It's safe to say that, "Abuja is a prototype NIGERIA"

You didn't border to State the reason why your husband is against house help(s).

I've seen and read countless times the ordeal of some house helps. It gives room for external interference. This is the obvious truth. If your husband is trying financially, it a thing to watch. Many house helps have delivered their bosses husbands, wives or kids for kidnapping. Some have relations whom could also be interested in the man, before you know, you start hearing stories... We need to be security conscious

If your mom and his mom is still alive. It's a good one in the sense that, your mom can come, stay for some months, his mom do the same thing while your kids grow.

Your husband isn't wicked like you're making it look like. If you're kidnapped today, those wanting you to get an house help here won't be there to bear the emotional pains and cost.

After closing from school, mom and dad are at work, the lady I regularly stay with till my mom or dad comes back from work abuse me sexually. Over 25yrs ago, I still feel the trauma. I'm healing from it just of recent. I got scared of ladies. These I've kept to myself for years until I got to the stage to marry, I had to open up to my then fiancee who's my wife now. Sexual abuse by any type of house help is real.

Furthermore, learn how to manage stress and pains. Marriage is never a rosy ground. These are issues that will always come up in marriages, but they're solvable. Look for how you can manage the stress. Turn your attention to other things like watching of movies, playing of games, etc. My mother had 4 of us without a house help, I believe your mom did it too. There must be a way they managed it. Learn this act from them

I believe your husband is saying 'no' for the good of the family.

XY23:
The primary issue in contention has to do with adherence to the Electoral Act including the use of BVAS as primary source of data. Recall, that BVAS as being alleged not to have been used in close to 10,000 PUs (hence results are not even uploaded even till now).

I like your logic, in essence INEC would have to defend it's declaration that APC won. This is very good news, because they would have to do so with BVAS, Voters register, EC8A and AWS. When you look at their filed response, you'd realize they are as much clueless as they were on Feb 25th. We want to see how they will defend the irregularities from their own instruments. The prosecution should rely more on digital forensics not backend server and INEC would mess up themselves.

Spot on...

gmacnoms:
zero 8 one five 9 6 7 two three five zero
Alapere, ketu, Lagos

Your contact isn't going through

gmacnoms:
Midea Gas cooker 55K
Pickup on the 22 of this month
Alapere

Your phone number and location.

Oloki:
Why are you taking my post personal?

We all condemned what the woman did in it's entirety but at time repeatimg some post can be boring

Sincerely, I'm not taking your post personal. I for one never knew the post was a repeated one. You could see the numbers of traction it gave. This is to tell you the post is still very relevant. So, relevant post should be reposted for more persons to see and engage in them.

I learnt from this post cos it was reposted

U Gerrit!

Zionmdde:
OP don't worry women are like that
Stop looking at her money, if you have kids, take good care of them, feed them, chest your bills. That's what makes you a man.

You can stop giving her monet or buying things like you did before, but you see feeding, rent, school fees and the basic necessities, please chest them like a man while you save up in case. The woman is keeping plan Bs, you too can do the same

But if that's the only issue, please don't destroy your marriage. It's easy for people outside to always tell you to divorce on every flimsy reasons, marriages that have lasted the test of time had one of the partners playing a fool

Women aren't like that, her altitude and actions aided by her parents were wrong. If someone is open to you in marriage, the best thing is to reciprocate

Let's learn the act of condemning wrong doings regardless of the gender, then we can now talk of the way forward

My mother whom I love so much earn far than my dad... But the respect and humility was topnotch. We only knew when we all grew up. The society today has so much put responsibility on the male child. So, just being a male child already has the pressures of life stiring at you. And if God wants to bless you for life, He gives you a good partner. As a man, a good wife and as a female, a good husband

Oloki:
Thank you o. I thought I was the only one that knows. The first time it was posted, it make front page and there was gender war that time

Whether it was posted in ages doesn't change the fact that it happened somewhere to someone who genuinely love his wife and family. I struggle to see ladies condemn this act by the woman. Anything you don't condemn, you support!

I'm just seeing the post now and it gave lots of lessons. So, I will say, sharing or reposting it gave me the opportunity to see the story. Never think of yourself, think of others like me who never saw the story until now, what about that?

Marriage is an institution built on trust. Guide it jealously!