₦airaland Forum

daben1:
you're a man, not the other weakling that his wife made him lose his job...

Hahahahaaa... you still remember the story. The thing dey pain my body till now.

Smilelo:
PRESIDENTIAL MEDIA CHAT

QUESTION : (by Mr Ibanga of Premium Times):MR president, the DSS under your watch has consistently disobeyed court orders. Dansuki has had 3 court orders asking for his release. And Nnamdi Kanu. And many other cases. Court orders which your DSS has not obeyed

ANSWER : (by Buhari on national TV) :How can they be released? Do you know that Kanu has passports of 2 different countries? Do you know the billions that Dansuki stole? And you are talking of court order for release. I hope the judges are watching this!

ME :Buhari is now the accuser and the judge. He has already convicted his victims. He openly approves the disobedience of court orders, and dares the court openly. And who told him that it is a crime to have the citizenship (passport) of two countries?

Lol..... I no fit laff oh.... and some people are scoring him 75% and above for this chat

What response did he give when asked about the limitation pkaced on dollars that's affecting innocent businessmen. No sensible answer
They asked him dies he plan to devalue the naira ? His response : Do you expect me to devalue the naira against dollars, or pounds or Francs ?
I don't know how people get to rate him 7/10 . I peay you don't perform lije this in an interview.

korel9:
I once poked him with the question of her availability or his interest in her and he said she's just a fling

You no get wahala. You can continue with your fling.

asorocker:
The decline of the oil industry is going to be worse on the states of Lagos and kano.

Lagos because an analysis of the igr of Lagos shows that Lagos derived it's revenue from the income tax and the income tax bulk is from the oil workers whose offices are in Lagos.
The oil and gas component of the Lagos igr is more than 40% of the igr. Income tax paid by high earning oil and gas industry executive who gross average of N5m monthly has helped Lagos


Secondly kano will be the worst hit as the only state whose take home is equivalent to the take home of niger delta states with their 13% derivative.

Kano doesn't have the human capital to generate income tax.

Third state /city is Abuja. It is said that Abuja was built with oil money, where would the money to sustain and maintain Abuja come from if not the same money from niger delta.

Some states like kwara, benue, adamawa can easily with agriculture fight the downturn of their economy, how would sokoto, yobe, jigawa whose populace don't farm and whose land is far from economic centres for export of agricultural products survive.

The next in line are the hausa cities of katsina, batching, kaduna who benefitted from the lopsided federal allocations. Now that the oil wealth is going and there is no human capital we hope they will not turn to insurgency as a means of raising attention and revenue.

The states that would enjoy and be kings in the new dispensation.

Anambra, Nigeria's brain box and commercial hub will have its non oil economy growth unequalled and unrivaled. Anambra survived with no oil allocation managed the little it had and built an enabling environment for investments.

Akwa Ibom, this state was blessed with resources and good managers who used it very well to grow infrastructure and are currently working on a sea port.

Abia this state hosts aba, Nigeria's city of enterprise and football, aba is living beyond oil already.

No mind them. Make dem continue to talk Naija delta. The whole Naija will suffer.

dovelike:
Haters will say am not beautiful too

Why do you have to do your lips like that .

korel9:
Straight to the point.

I met this girl sometime ago and we started seeing each other (as in no strings attached just for the benefits). She happens to be a client of ours.
It was my colleague who actually told me she's available (as in not attached) so I took my chances .
After a while, I started seeing her with my colleague (as in she coming to see him in the office). I confronted her and she said there's nothing between them. All these while my friend never mentioned there was something going on between them. All he kept saying was that the girl would be good on bed. I couldn't tell him about the girl and I cos she's Hausa and a muslim while I'm not Hausa and a Christian. I feel he may lash at her and discourage her from continuing with me which may even endanger her.
I was shocked when one day he told me of his escapades with the girl and how the girl got involved in a duel with his other girl who he's planning on getting married to.
I have no long-term intention with this girl so also does my colleague. But I feel I should tell him before he finds out or what do you think my fellow nairalanders?

Constructive responses please

Firstly, is your colleague an aboki ? If yes, then don't tell him about it.

Secondly since your colleague told you she's available, you shouldn't feel bad. You may ask him that you were interested in her but it seems he's into a serious relationship. Hear his response.

Towncrier247:
Sincerely, village life is really attractive with all the nature. Can one ever come across something like this in Ikeja, Lagos? I only see animals like this on NatGeo... Bro, u r purely surrounded by nature.

But tell those villagers not to kill all the wilb life.

bronzegoddess:
Why now?!!!! Never seen such before. now its gonna end up in someone's pot.


Is that what oyinbo people call coyote?

Lol. No be coyote. This one is African civet

jacksonite:
So you are not satisfied with the CHANGE that APC. has brought you are still demanding for Fayose's change? Can I conclude that APC's change is fake?

By their fruits you will know zombies.

kallmemrB:
I tire for this country.... Its only in nigeria people will pray for bomb blast on fellow nigerians just to prove the other party is wrong

Did Anyone see Fayose condolence letter or press conference to any of the state or Victims Family

Pls don't blame Fayose for anything. No one prayed for any bomb. Buhari made a pact with bh to islamize Nigeria.

JustHere2Observ:
Please gerrahia, just Negodu. The guy himself knows what he did was wrong, he could be sued or his license revoked.
If the girl gets to know, he will never practice medicine again, and when that happens will you be there to help him.
I'm a medical personnel and I know this HIV patients know their rights wella.

But it's also a crime to intentionally spread aids. Yes, I also agree patients should have confidentiality, but on this issue, one has to use an unorthodox method. Imagine such wickedness.

sketcherJ:
Police is our friend at least that is what they say, but we have come to question this statement now and often due to the nefarious and unwholesome activities of some bad eggs in the police force, these are some good tips for you to make sure you don't encounter or be a victim of these bad activities



1. Never run away from a policeman : Never run from a Nigerian policeman, whether you are innocent or guilty or you are automatically signing your death warrant, in many European countries, their police force are equipped with tasers and stun guns to use on running criminals or offenders, but the case is not so in Nigeria, where the policemen only have loaded guns with no safety catch,.
some policemen are too lazy to chase criminals, they just let the velocity of their bullets do the running business.


2. Give them their dues : whenever you meet police men at checkpoints , and they ask you for money whether legally or illegally. Please give them, don't try to be the know it all or try to be one who is current in law matters, this might sound stupid but remember you are doing this for your life and the passengers you have in your care, we have heard and seen cases of drivers refusing to give policemen their dues and their passengers suffered dearly for it.


3. Don't joke or argue with a drunk policeman ; whenever you are at a bar and you see drunk policemen with guns. It is better for you to leave the bar club or joint discreetly ,but if you must stay, avoid the policemen like fleas and don't draw too much attention to yourself, drunk policemen are just like time bombs waiting to explode. Don't joke with them, because in their drunken state, they might not able to get the meaning of your jokes well , a drunk civilian can cause havoc not to talk of a drunk policeman with a loaded gun.


4. Watch the signs ; whenever you find yourself around a policeman with a gun whether drunken or sober, always watch for any hostility signs in them , especially when a policeman start talking about killing.e.g I feel like killing somebody today, I will shoot you, if you try me, I will show you pepper etc.. Don't wait to see if the policeman is actually bluffing, take to your heels .


5. Be cautious or avoid areas where a policeman had recently been injured or beaten : when you hear or you actually see a policeman being beaten in an area, please avoid going to the area for some time, because the policemen will come for their revenge and they either they do it directly or indirectly.. Directly ( by shooting at or battering some marked men at the area) indirectly ( by arresting the residents of the area and charging them with numerous framed offences)



6. Avoid confrontations with policemen during protest : avoid daring confrontations with policemen during protests whether peaceful or not, even if you are doing it for a just cause, don't throw stones, pure water etc at them, even if you are in the company of your friends , in a crowd or public gathering, remember a bullet has no person's name on it , in a crowd...it could hit you , or anybody close to you.

See more at: http://dandywriter..com.ng/2015/12/safety-tips-to-use-around-nigerian.html?m=1#sthash.uclTdhaI.dpuf-

True talk, especially no. 5. I remember one day when I was in ph. I alighted from a taxi at a place called Slaughter. I saw policemen everywhere as if there was war. They shouted at everyone to raise up their two hands in the air.
Who am I to say no ? Even before I came down from the car, I was already raising my two hands. When I entered into the next vehicle, one of the passengers was telling us that the policemen were very angry. One of their colleagues was killed and his gun collected by some bad boys. I just thank God say stray bullet no begin fly.

20bc:
[color=teal] My oga op, I totally disagree with some of the point you mentioned above like Teaching, telecom customer care and Asian countries...

Nobody forced them to work there, if they can't cope with the stress they should quit.....

Nepa men in my area kings oh, na so people day greet and thank them anyhow because light too much when them day give us....

Modified= before you crucify me, please click on page 2 on this thread to see ma reason why I said so....[/color]

Teaching can be frustrating when the school isn't standard. Working in AIS or BIS won't be frustrating
As for Asian coys, most people who work for Indians, Lebanese or Chinese complain a lot. ThE fact that no one forced you to work there does not mean you shouldn't expect better. What these guys dio in Nigeria, they can't do elsewhere.

kaorama:
Drunkenness is bad. He is only saying this and getting away with it cos PDP is a party that doesn't know their left from their right. I have been expecting PDP to rise up to the challenge of letting Nigerians know how much APC is deceiving Nigerians, but behold, PDP doesn't have the ideas to pay back APC in their own coins. No body in PDP knows what to do, even media houses like AIT who should be on ground in Bornu this time around to expose the dismal failure of APC in tackling the insurgency is shying away from their responsibility. Their reporters are all seated comfortably in their ABUJA studio browsing for news in the internet. No body that has anything to do with PDP is willing to make sacrifices. Channels TV which was the subtle propaganda mouth piece of APC has suddenly gone silent. The carnage that was recorded in Maiduguri over the weekend never attracted their attention. And this morning Maope Ogun and co sat comfortably in their cushion to make some cursory remarks about the explosions in Maiduguri. If it were in the time of GEJ, Channels' Maope Ogun and co would be standing up and with much energy, throwing punches at Goodluck as if he was personally responsible for the insurgency. I hope and wish PDP and their supporters would rise up to their challenge of providing a strong and determined opposition.

On point. You dey mind Maope ? They try to look objective but I know she's biased. It is left for we, Nigerians to speak out. We can't let ourselves to be fooled. Channels spend less of their time discussing boko haram.
Lai Mohammed should be flogged and stoned to death.

MosakuAW:
Brave journalism is common with the white. I love seeing brave journalist on war front telling the true side of a story.

Our Naija journalist will sit at one corner of his or her office and write ghost interviews and later claimed it was a mistake.

I love journalism that write the both sides of the story rather than one side only.

God bless all good journalist around the world for taking bold steps towards revealing the truth.

For those who had lost their life in these cause of action, may they continue to rest in Peace.

I agree so much with you. If it's to cover world cup or Olympics you'll hear, "Our correspondence in Brazil or Germany, bla bla....." But let it be boko haram, they'll say, "it was reported that 20 people died, another report put it as 30 people....."
But that's not to say that we have never had war correspondence before.

wisdomguy4u:
This is a true story of an unforgettable near death experience I had on the night of 24th December, 2015 that changed my life forever. I decided to share this story here not because I want you to castigate me for my act (you can't castigate me more than I have castigate myself), but because I believe a lot of people will learn from it and thereby avoid the pitfall in the coming 2016.

It all began when I attended the night church service held in my village. I came a little late so I wasn't opportune to get a seat. I had to stand up for the mass. After standing in the cold for about an hour, my legs began to shiver, I decided to walk toward the church gate and back to stretch my near stiffed knees.

As I got to the gate, I stood for a while and then turn around to walk back when I heard a female voice from the dark corner of the gate; she said, "it's boring right? ". I walked toward her to get a clear view of who was talking; I saw a light skin girl sitting on a small flower pavement. I asked her "what's boring?". "The service , the night, everything" She replied. It was obvious she wanted us to have a conversation, so I quickly sat down beside her.

To cut the story short, from our little conversation I got to know that her name is Aderoke, her father is from Ogun state while her mother is from my village. She was born and brought up in lagos and can't speak or understand Igbo language (meanwhile the service was coordinate in igbo language). This was few things I was able to get from her before she told me she was shivering due to the cold. As a sharp guy i reasoned she wanted me to cuddle her, so I told her to draw closer so I can hold her. Without hesitation she moved closer and placed her head on my shoulder while I placed my hand around her waist.

Everything went so fast, before I could say "bingo!" We were already into deep romance: kissing and groping . In the climax of it all she held me and whisper in my ear " sex me please". As I look around for a more hidden corner, a part of me was persuading me to control my urge that she could be an agent of darkness sent to destroy me, and another part of me was telling me not to lose the opportunity that she's just a lonely girl in need of some fun. I fell for the latter. I got a more hidden corner were we began to have it; first she bend low while I got on her back ; after awhile she suggested I sit on a pavement there while she climb on top.

Few minutes afterward, I felt a sudden sharp pain on my butt, I thought it was an ant or something similar, but the pain grew bigger. With a trembling voice I told her to stop and get down that I think something bit me, but she was so carried aways that she couldn't hear me out. As the pain kept increasing , I had to push her out of me . I stood up, flash my phone touch in the pavement and there was a long big snake rowed up . The strange girl screamed and ran away. By then I was already feeling dizzy and fainting, I managed to pull myself back into the church premises and disclose to someone that I have been bitten by a snake after which I lost conscious of myself. I heard I was even fuming from the mouth.

After 2 days of serious traditional treatment, I regained consciousness. When I was asked to explain how I got bitten by a snake in the church, I didn't know what to say. I can't believe I nearly lost my life because of a few minutes romp with a total stranger, it's a very shameful thing to tell your family. The only person i finally told the true of what transpired was a man of God; whom after praying, disclosed to me that the strange girl has a jealous spiritual husband who is a serpent. So the snake that bit me wasn't ordinary.

I believe God gave me a second chance for a reason. And I have sworn never to continue my careless lifestyle, I have given my life to God and anything premarital sex is not for me anymore. I know it's not easy to overcome temptation of premarital sex, but I believe with pray and determination we can overcome anything.

My fellow Nairalanders join me and thank God for my life, and at the same time learn from my story. For the seek of your family and loved ones, stop living a careless life . Stop sleeping around with strangers, so many people knowingly or unknowingly have spiritual spouse, some of who are viciously jealous . Sex is sweet , but life is sweeter. Try and live a safe life in 2016. I pray God see us all through in Jesus name: Amen!

I don't know how your pastor got to that conclusion. There are also other circumstances too. For instance you guys slept with each other outside and probably in a bushy area.
I thought you were going to tell us that she changed into a snake or something like that.

Lanretoye:
My overall best in 2015-"To forgive terrorists is up to God,but to send them to him is up to me"...Putin.

That's my favourite quote too. I think these quotes featured are quotes from Africans (Obama inclusive).

greenhulk:
Accident happen everywhere in the world, not just Africa so spare me this maintenance culture thing. Paul Walker and his friend were professional drivers and they know about maintenance culture than any of us. But did that stop their car from having an accident thereby claiming their lives? Plus they died in an expensive Porsche, not some Camry. If that was in Nigeria u people will say ONLY IN NIGERIA. Also princess Diana died in a top of the line Mercedes Benz s class.

The picture below happened in Houston Texas USA. A train detailed and fell on the road. If that was in Nigeria u people will shout ONLY IN NIGERIA, or u will start calling Buhari.

Hold on. If you look at it critically, a lot of the accidents in Nigeria could have been prevented if there was or is proper maintenance. Just look at this one in SA. It could have prevented as well. The one of Princess Diana was just human error. The driver was running away from paparazzi and he hit a curvet.

examhall3:
[img]http://i.onthe.io/vllkyt36subp9qca7.bd201f5c.jpg[/img]
Super Eagles forward, Odion Ighalo grabbed a 41st minute goal on Monday which leads him to become the highest goal scorer in England this year.
Monday’s strike marks Ighalo’s 14th goal this season and 30th in total for 2015.
Although Watford maintained a less than average possession 43% to the visitor’s 57%, Ighalo and his teammates refused to give up to the 87th minute leaving the shoreline at 1-1.
Following Spur’s and Watford clash on Monday, it takes Odion’s Premier League tally for the season to 14, and his league goals to 30 in 2015, more than anyone else in the top four divisions of English football.

Source: http://360jamng.tk/nigerias-odion-ighalo-ends-2015-as-highest-goal-scorer-in-england/

That's great. I hope he remains consistent.

Diddyydiva:
Age is nothing but numbers.

She is 17




Just make sure you are compatible in other ways.

. Which kind number

pedrilo:
hey guys, happy Sunday to you all. just felt i should share an experience with the house and probably get some reactions as well.
i was cleaning my house yesterday morning and found something in side my wardrobe.
i'm 28, work in abj and live alone. not in any serious relationship since i got heart broken 2012 while running a masters programme.
although i have female friends who come around to spend weekends with me, i noticed a disturbing act from these ladies wenenva they visit not once or twice. "they often leave either a bra, top, panties, footwear or tooth brush in my place even when they have their hand bag with them.
ladies in d house, what will make u leave any of these items in a guy's place.
and for the guys, wat do u normally do with such items.
enjoy ur day guys, i love u all

They are marking their territory the dame way animals do. If you watch Natgeowild, you'll see this often.

shepherd77:
This is very obvious.


Jonathan was never serious with anything while in power. Always drunk to the boots.

Imagine a president who went dancing skelewu after Nyanya bomblast.


The only time he showed seriousness was when he forced a 6-week postponement of the election sooooo he could win

If Gej continues to be blamed, what responsibility will this govt accept ?

Bubu was not elected to complain. It's a tough job, but someone has to do it...

Oghenekohwo1402:
I'll take no. 2 period but I'm already married to the perfect gift of God for me

Your children go worwor oh....

Toks2008:
Many ladies have always loved the idea of getting married to that man that suites her desire and for every lady you ask to state the type of man she wants,you can be sure to have varying choices[b] so i present to you these options and you must pick one of them having in mind that you are not allowed to remain single,their qualities are unchangeable and these are all the types of men in the world.[/b]


1.Mr A
-Extremely good looking
-Tall
-Rich
-Romantic
-chronic philanderer

2.Mr B
-Ugly
-Short and fat
-Rich
-Extremely romantic
-Super faithful

3.Mr C
-Drop dead gorgeous
-very rich
-faithful
-romantic
-Ritualist

4.Mr D
-Very cute
-rich
-caring
-faithful
-Hopelessly addicted to alcohol


5.Mr E
-Very cute
-faithful
-Rich
-Very abusive and a wife beater.


6.Mr F
-Very cute
-Rich
-Very romantic
-Extremely caring
-Wants you as a second wife
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
The bottom line is that no man on earth is perfect and no matter how many times you change a man,you will always realize sooner that there is always a wow side and a bad side of every man so just settle down with one who cherishes you and hope for the best.

As a lady,you must learn to celebrate the good sides of that guy and ignore or tolerate the bad side as long as it does not threaten your life.

Your dream man can easily be found in one place...[size=13pt] INSIDE YOUR DREAM[/size].

You even try sef. All the men dey rich. But I believe Mr. C is the best of the worst.

mightyokwy:
Huhuhu, wait you mean I shld just wake up nd pray for these bunch of liers. What kind of prayer shld pray for them, that God shl stop them from lying or God shld help their gulible followers who are currently under the effect of red oil jollof rice from villa to stop being gulible. APC is scam, this is a story we must tell our unborn generation so that when they hear change they will knw that they are about to be duped

If you listen to the lies of Lai Mohammed and the propaganda of Apc, you will want to rejoice in what's happening. He should have shut up his big mouth instead of boasting that they have defeated bh. His recent statements have rather provoked them the more.
But there are innocent people there that are suffering. And this could spiral out of control to affect us all.

APCLyingBastard:
What they are refusing to tell you is that Boko Haram have been attacking Christian towns like Chibok and Michika


Innocent Christians are dying in their jihad.

Even though we can see the foolishness and ineptitude of this govt towards tackling boko haram head on we should not forget those at the receiving end.

I really pity the Christians. They don't deserve this. It pains me. And I don’t think Apc cares about it. Bakare, Mbaka and co are quiet about this. When Pst. Ayo Oritsejafor was shouting that christians were being killed, they lambasted him.

Right now I'm finding it difficult not to call Lai Mohammed a fool. Pls God help me. He should have shut up his fat stinking mouth. Now, his statement has further provoked bh.

mightyokwy:
Go Nd blame your lying master for reminding the boko boys that they have to attack

Yes we should pray for Nigeria. But the problem is that, did they pray for Nigeria during last administration ?
Body language and lies are no longer working. Alas we have rssorted to prayers.

APCLyingBastard:
Nobody should celebrate this news rather we should pray for our troops but condemn liar mohammed's attempt at lying on the war.

Now is the time for the FG to come clean.

If they need a draft to fight the insurgency let them call for one.

The army even though not on my good books must not fail because a defeat in the NE will spell doom for every region.

We pray for Borno but this government is full of lies and propaganda. When Gej suffered this same thing, Apc people were busy blasting him. An elder statesman like Buhari kicked against the fight against Bh. The Northern elders shielded them.

Now, there are no more churches to bomb. They have now turned against everybody irrespective of religion. Lie Mohammed should have resigned if we live in a sane country. How could he just tell blatant lies ? He has no integrity at all.It's a big shame. If they like, let them call me a wailing wailer. Let's see who are the true wailers.

Despite all the lies and deceit, l pray God shows us mercy because innocent people are dying.

Ginaz:
Benin boys are wicked, I once had a friend he's from Benin, I was in need of cash to settle school stuff so he volunteered to help me on his free will o, not that I begged him. So I went to his house to take the money, to my surprise this dirty pig swine wanted to touch me.

Ha! I said what is this na?'' He opened his rotten mouth to tell me he like me and first he has to do something before giving me the cash.''. I was like what? God punish you. I couldn't find the money to pay for my project. It was a kind lecturer who helped me out, and to God be the glory everything went well when my results came out. Till today, I hate benin guys, that guy have destroyed whatever good that could come out of Benin that won't sound stupid to my ears.

Their girls are worst! Seriously eh, Benin need deliverance.

Hahahahaaa.... sorry about that. But you can't conclude that all Benin guys are like that because of your experience. Btw, I'm not Benin.
But whay about Edo guys ? Not all Edo guys are from Benin