₦airaland Forum

Confusedwomsn:
Thank you so much.

I had s long discussion with him about our issues last night and I must confess that I do agree with most points you said.

He said I made him this way, that I made him lose focus for his life and become lazy and s pastor told him I have negative spirit. That he has checked out and I irritate him. That he is not succeeding but I am succeeding that I should search myself.
I then asked if he wants to separate and he first said he is not sure and when I said he should decide he said yes.
I've accepted that we are no more together and I have to move on, his cousins are currently staying with us, so I want to share the foodstuffs and toiletries St home because Ill only be responsible for my child and ward.
I'm no more going to cook or be responsible for everyone. We are now officially roommates until we sort out our accommodation.
I know it will end in praise

It's not going to be easy, but gradually things will sort themselves out. Make yourself beautiful and happy. Most importantly, love yourself. There is nothing better than self love.

A child should NEVER raise his hands against his parents.

It's a very unfortunate situation. I am picturing a circumstance where he was already cornered and had no way out than to fight back. But it still remains wrong.

Imagine the whole neighbourhood coming to settle fights all the time, how embarrassing. But a shameless man is irredeemable and since the wife loves him like that, the son can't do much.

If possible, let him seek intermediaries to sort out his differences with his Father. That's important.

Many people have advised you already but I will still add my own.

From what you have described so far, you have shown this man that you have no where to go and that you will do anything to keep him. He is not going to change. He hurts you physically and emotionally and you are begging for his attention, you spend 80% on the house, etc. You are enabling his bad behaviour. You wanted to leave and he started to act nicely.

See, he knows your worth. Unfortuanately, you don't know your worth and things won't change until you change them.

You care about what people will say, are those people suffering with you? In the next 20yrs, would it matter what anyone's thought of you is? No. It won't cos everyone has been busy living their own lives and will continue to.

You also think you are staying for your child but that's a big lie you are telling yourself. You are doing that child a disservice by bringing him up in such an environment. He might eventually grow up to lack respect for you or even resent you for some of the things you wrote here.


For your sake and for your child's sake, leave that man. You deserve better. I know you are afraid of what will happen to you as a single woman. Ok. tell me, what are you gaining right now? The 80% money you are spending to feed him probably could have bought you a piece of land somewhere. Look at other women who took brave decisions and learn from them. If Meghan Markle didn't leave her former marriage, could she have met the prince?

Think deeply and speak to your feet.

It's good to be principled. You did well.

Mods should close this thread and the other multiple ones this op opened.

Lalasticlala

So what happens to the owner of the house. Your aunt thinking of herself but not of the real victim - the landlord.

brandonobi:
how much fuss can underdeveloped nations make from fighting each other, India vs Africa the level of stupidity from both sides mtschwww

The lowest of the low fighting. Shameless lot.

This kind man will frustrate you ehn. He is already planning your suffer suffer even before he marries you.

He wants to control and take over your life. Abuse will follow shortly.

Be wise!

Na Thank you dem go chop

instinct57vm:
I have heard his own side. His side were petty and doesn’t hold water, you know when ppl say things to score cheap points that’s what his side was all about! Simply put, His side of the story doesn’t justify his actions

Tell us his side now..

[quote author= post=89308903]who wan die nah?[/quote]So they are running from Corona Virus. Were they not chanting Babu Corona about a month ago?

But why are they moving down South at this time?

xrayj:
The bold is not true!
We have also seen cases of couples wanting a female child, because they have only boys. My neighbour gave birth to five children because the man wanted female, four boys & a girl. He stopped when his wife gave birth to a girl.

But would he have thrown tantrums because he could not have a female child?

sysengr:
Am happily married with two girls. My husband is very simple and understanding. He is playful and loving father. I have been in peace with my husband all along.

Due to our financial stand, we anchored to stop at the two. Though, I got pregnant again for our third which was not planned.

The scan result revealed a girl child. And since then, my husband's mood has changed, not because is the third child but a girl. This is a man that always assist me in the home on daily bases with joy. But now things are no longer the same, he has changed drastically. He frequently gets angry with me and the children. My husband always says to me "why not a boy".

This has been a burden on me and am due for delivery soon.

Please advice me on how to cope with his new attitude.

Thanks.

You need to change it for him. Why didn't he give you a male child? Why is the pressure on you? It's his fault, if blames must be apportioned. But it's actually nobody's fault.

What if he couldn't have one?

instinct57vm:
Well said. Same advise I gave her. We are past the era of condoning rubbish marriage. Being single is truly better than being married to some idiots

You gave her the best advice.

The reasons you mentioned make absolutely no sense.

If you need people to justify your waywardness, No. You are at the wrong place.

Burials should not be taking place in residential areas. Why not cemetries??

Bliss

Magnoliaa:
Abi.

They'll say it's because we're 'small' kids now and we fantasize a lot. We have nur seen life and cannot understand, not realizing that experiencing something do not make a thing right. You have experience but it's not a qualification for being the best teacher.

It's not a feeling love (because that word is bound to be taken out of context), it's an action love. Feelings are fickle. So when people claim to ''love" someone (according to their feelings), they'll still hurt the person and fight over and over a particular issue - because what do feels make right? Nothing. Your mindful thoughts will make you improve yourself, so less tension btw you and your partner.

An 'untainted/inexperienced' view of love can be an awesome thing also. Then it's a lot easier to work on other things in oneself (which translates to picking up vibes in people who are working on themselves, too.)

Continue to fantasize. I rarely talk about my personal life on this public forum but I will because of your posts.

I used to fantasize about true love as well. It was a determining factor in my relationships. Like you said, it has to be supportted by action and not by words of mouth alone.If a man met 8/10 of my physical attributes but did not profess undying love to me or treat me right, I would let him go. Today, I am married to the LOML and have no regrets whatsoever.

Good Marriage takes two lovers who willingly make it work.

Richy4:
U are using your parent to define what love is or looks like right? I guess u are not ready for a debate. U have zeroed your mind on what you wanted to hear. So explaining further would be a waste of time.. just stick to what you believe.

What's your deal? You want to insist by all means that bickering couples are in love and have chosen not to accept evey other person's opinion.

It's not hard. If you choose to love that way, go ahead. and choose a partner to constantly quarrel with and call it love. Leave others who choose to see love differently.

Some people are just negative in thoughts and that's why they don't get positivity out of life. Just continuu

Richy4:
People tends to communicate in different ways. Just like every foreigner that first encountered two or more adult male Nigerians talking loudly the first thing that comes to their minds would be any seconds they gonna kill themselves or each other.
It could be that they were simply talking about soccer or something. What OP sees as fight might not be what was going on.. it might be their way of usual banter.. When a third party comes between them, that person might be surprised on how both of them might challenge him/her or even embarrass the person. .

Besides when you were talking about love being difficult for couples to indulge in misunderstanding, I hope that your argument was not based on the Mexican love movies that was flooding all over the world

Based on Mexican movies? I don't even know what that is.
It's obvious you have not experienced love, True love.

Don't answer the trolls. Remember you are fasting.

Richy4:
U are still young. That's why u don't understand. Have you ever heard a saying like "why are u quarrelling like old couple. It's love that no one but them understand

It's a lie. Love would make quarrelling difficult for you. It will nudge at your heart every moment of it that you won't want to ever put yourself or your partner in that situation again. If you quarrel often, what can you claim to love about the other person?

Marry a reasonable human being whose goals align with yours.

I am more concerned that you and your neighbours are visiting one another.
She will soon kiss corona and come and sneeze in your sitting room.

You are offended by the truth.I can assure you that She is not only irritated, she now regrets marrying you.

Marriage is for two people willing to make it work. You have a bad breath and failed to do something about it. How can she be ok with having sex with you?

MistarT:
When i look back all i can say is it is wonderful to grow in the things of GOD.

So did she work under a man. Has she proven to be an infidel?

You think you know more than God who said to go into the world and multiply?

Your pro-choice BS has brought the world to its knees as we speak. Plagues have always been a way of resetting the brains of mankind towards God. Now, your sorry asses who would do anything your shitty heads think, are now going back to God.

I am glad I started to learn Islam before this plague. I hope we don't all die before I fully embrace it.

Apart from people incapacitated in one way or the other Or people who would do more harm to children, than good, everybody married should have no problem deciding to have children. It's selfishness, in a bid to enjoy the world to the fullest without worrying about others that makes anyone think of not having children. And that's the same reason some of you would rather push your parents into care homes than take care of them.

You are starting this thread to enable more people embrace your foolish ways. Continue.

Busy women don't have time for all of these tussle.
Not as mother-in-laws and definitely not as wives.

eightsin:
If I was the driver of that truck, I would have killed over 10 idiots.

The driver is a poor man like them and they have now put him in trouble.

If I were the driver, I would move fast and press on the brake. Then reverse over the fallen idiots.

I dislike foolish thieving idiots.

Why can't they gather and go to a politicians house to show themselves. They can't group up to visit Aso Rock but can put a poor man like themselves in debt.

How is anybody sure that he did it. With the way black people are constantly framed for all sorts of crimes.

No shame anymore. Everybody is begging these days.
Nairaland bambiala.
Even using your baby's pictures while begging.

Imagine that innocent child seeing this in the future.