Girls who are not looking for marriage are stumbling on it AND those who are desperate for it can’t find it. Generally speaking, ladies in our society divide their adult lives into four distinct phases.
PHASE ONE: Play time (Age 19-22) This is a period where, Cyndi Lauper’s song says, “girls just wanna have fun”. When a man asks her out, she comes along with three of her roommates and wonders why he was frowning throughout the evening and drinking only water. She shares almost all her mischief with her friends and they have a good laugh over it. At this stage of their lives, girls see men as playthings; During this phase, any suggestion of a serious relationship is dismissed with the contempt reserved for fun-spoilers.
PHASE TWO: Open time (Age 23-28). In this period, girls still want to have fun, but not just fun. They want to have fun with a purpose. They are looking to grow in love and get married (in that order). At this stage, her ideal man is no longer a set of qualities she wants, BUT a workmate, a churchmate, a gymmate…in other words, someone within. She knows him and sees him frequently. As she gets dangerously close to 28 and the man of her fantasies is not any closer to making a move, she widens her net. Then she starts bidding. Her open bidding process lasts a year without a single bid, then reality hits. She looks back at all the bidders she threw out without consideration and none of them looks back. In fact, most of them are probably happily married or inviting her to their wedding meetings. Tick, tack, tick, tack…Time is going..........
PHASE THREE: Desperation time (Age 29-33) She is now 29, which means 30 is just 365 days away. As the days go by, she forgets that marriage involves two people. She tries to take the bull by the horns, so to speak. Now she can only date ‘serious’ people.
And this creates two discernible dangers for her.
1. Her definition of a serious man is one who is willing to have the second date at her parent’s home, and the third date at their wedding reception. Any man who can be rushed like that is either a very old man or a conman.
2. At this stage, a girl has lost the ability to fall in love, all she wants is to fall in marriage. Men notice this attitude from a distance and take off.
PHASE FOUR: Single motherhood (Ages 33 ---------) When the prospect of marriage seems to be vanishing with the horizon, it’s time to look for any prospective man He must be responsible, good looks are an added advantage.
Remember those distinct phases; Play time, Open time, Desperation time and Single motherhood. Anyone who has been through campus knows all about the nightmare of registration. You get to the faculty and there is a queue of students waiting to enlist. Exams are around the corner and you must complete the process in time or you miss out. But the lady in charge of the registration process looks tired, bored, demotivated and desperate. Hanging above her desk is a notice that reads: “A delay on your part does not constitute an emergency on ours.” And she has a point. The office was open throughout the semester but no one showed up to register until the final few days. And now we expected her to jump up and down at our work.
Back to the subject of marriage. From my observation, girls who end up in stable marriages are those who use their Open Time wisely. But so many girls tend to abuse their Open Time in one of the following ways.
1. The dream man In every group,there is a man who is seen as the ideal husband for most girls. He is the man of their fantasies. The trouble is; that prize man is being eyed by twenty girls; all of whom are hoping to win the race. He plays ‘good friend’ to all the girls and keeps them hanging on the cross of hope.When he eventually proposes to one, he leaves nineteen others flat on their faces. Their Open Time is coming to an end and Desperation Time is knocking on the door.
2. Ideal vs Available Then they wake up to the realisation that they wasted their Open Time. So when she wakes up from her disappointment, all the men who were interested in her, the men whose proposals she threw out, have moved on and they seem happily married. If only one of them would come back she would gladly take him in, but none of them returns.
4. A delay on your part… Like those men don’t want to talk about marriage on the first or fourth date. They don’t want to meet your parents before they are well acquainted with you. Don’t expect the world to align itself to your desperation. There are certain things you cannot push; the only pushing you will do is pushing prospective husbands away from U.
Now for some advice:
* Don’t waste your open time pursuing a so-called dream man. He is probably not worth it. A dream man today might turn out to be a loser tomorrow. That’s usually the case. Remember those men whom you celebrated in Secondary School. Where are they now?
The man you turn down today because he doesn’t meet your lofty aspirations might turn out as the dream man tomorrow. If you cannot catch a buffalo, settle for an antelope.
* Remember, the people who are desperate did not end up that way because they didn’t have opportunities; no....... they ended up that way because they spurned their opportunities.
* God doesn’t see us for what we are, He sees us for what we can be.
Girls, hold the same attitude when considering prospective husbands. WISH U THE BEST.
Culled from The peoples Congress ( ministry of propaganda) By Y. Useni.
orohbirodeysmel: Try and enter Christ The King Cathedral, Aba LDS, Aba Nigerian Temple... You will not even believe that these Religious centers are in Aba. You will think that you are in one church compound in Europe or America. The City's elegance gave the Catholic church and the Mormons no option than to plan well before building these two world class religious centers.
In Sports, Enyimba FC of Aba is the most successful Football club in Nigeria.
Aba is on the verge of having 24/7 power supply in the coming years with the Geometric Electrical project. When people say Aba is dirty, Aba people are not organised, I just laugh. The average Aba sees things you cannot see. The first riot against exploitation and undue taxation by the British was organised by Aba women.
It is well documented today that it was Ikot Abasi women from Ibibioland in today's Akwa Ibom State that started the FIRST war against taxation before it got to Aba. The Aba episode gained more attention because Enugu the seat of the Colonialists in the old Eastern Region is closer to Aba. Many documentaries were made and historical articles can be read online detailing the significant role of the Ikot Abasi women.
Many fearless Ikot Abasi women were gunned by the colonianist gunfire when they refused to back down against the taxation.
Justice Udoma 's mother was one of those killed by the gun shots from the Colonialists. He was just 12 years old when his wealthy mother who was the leader of the Ikot Abasi women. Udoma Udo Udoma, a former Minister of Nigeria is Justice Udoma's son.
Liliantalks: still havnt stoped, tho i enjoy sex better now than i use to because i have had a better sex partner, but then i still enjoy the experience with pornography. worse thing is i don’t ever want to change, like i don’t ever want to stop, previously i had the impression that i needed to stop , but now i don’t care anymore, it makes me happy and satisfacted, doesn’t break my heart and very reliable, so why not?
Interesting insights.
Do you watch soft or hardcore porn? Second, as a female, where you ever a reader of intense romance novels before gravitating to porn?
I read years back that about 70 percent of ladies have watched some level of porn in their lives. Some females are mentally and visually wired to have a keen sense of imagination though.
CuriousMynd: There is a heated argument on Facebook following a feminist post a man shared on his page.
The post which says because a lady comes to a man’s place and gets na ked doesn’t mean she is asking for sex has gotten many men on the platform riled.
Rebuker: A beautiful young lady has taken to social media to express her distress over the incessant demand for sex from men on the first date. In the video, the young lady, visibly upset, wonders if this experience is unique to her.
She expresses her shock at instances where men go as far as kicking women out of their houses at midnight if they decline to have sex with them.
In tears, she expresses her desire not to be beautiful or shapely, wishing that these incidents wouldn't happen to her. She believes that her beauty and shape are the reasons men are eager to sleep with her.
She's using too many unnecessary words and adjectives in that video. And what's a girl doing in the house of a guy she's not formally engaged or married to at night?
Obviously she has to change the young men she meets within her inner circle. Period.
descarado: Stewing in ignorance is stupidity and shouldn't be excused. We have Internet and its not only useful for social media only. Thank you. Educate them more please. Its so embarrassing
Kingzjayzee: Blanket 'Bigi' Jackson was seen shopping in California which is a rare public outing for Michael Jackson's youngest son. He was reportedly the most affected by his father's death
Michael Jackson 's youngest son, Blanket Jackson, was spotted at a Barnes & Noble book shop in Calabassas.
The 21-year-old was photographed browsing the television and movie section and purchasing books. For the outing, he wore bright red shorts and donned a grey The Doors t-shirt.
Completing his look, he added a pair of white Nike socks with black trainers. Blanket wore his hair down and it fell to chin-length. He left the store carrying a large brown paper bag, seeming to contain his purchases.
Blanket is rarely seen by the public and typically keeps a very low profile. In fact, he received his nickname 'Blanket' from his father because he would often cover his face in public in an effort to remain secretive.
His legal name is Prince Michael Jackson II, but nowadays he often goes by Bigi. He also became known as the "invisible boy," due to the way he shied away from the public.
He was born in 2002, but the identity of his mother is unknown because she was reportedly a surrogate. He was only seven years old when his father died and PEOPLE magazine reported that he "acted very lost and extremely upset." A family friend told the publication: “The kids live like Michael is constantly looking down upon them... [Blanket] has had the most problems adjusting after Michael died."
Now, the nickname change has reportedly helped improve his self-confidence, but he's still “shy around people he doesn’t know." During high school, Blanket became comfortable hanging out with his friends and many cousins. At the time, he was in the care of his grandmother, Katherine Jackson. However, when he grew up, he purchased his own £2million luxury home.
In 2012, Blanket explained in the documentary Jacksonology: Our Story his desire to become a director. He said: "Sometimes I would go in [Michael's] room while he was getting ready for something and watch. He was a good dancer, he was a very good dancer. I can't dance or sing, I'm not that kind of person who sings and dances. When I grow up I want to be a director because it's fun, and I make little movies when I'm at my house with cousins and friends and different things."
It's indeed clear that the rumors of Michael Jackson getting donor sperms from some of his white friends are true. All his "children" were born by surrogate mothers as well. Blanket is definitely white or Caucasian in terms of facial and hair looks.
Sheep rearing and herding... Sounds like the slave trade to me if we are to equate them with human slavery... Lol.
On a serious note, the Aussies have done a very good job in boosting sheep wool and meat supplies until the glut began. A new cycle will begin again ones the demand exceeds supply.
Chinjo2: Funny enough, all the Yorubas in Kano will start relocating to Sabon Gari to seek protection from the hands of the same igbo people they hated so badly.
Chai this life ehn. Morals of the leason is that, don't go hating on people because you might never know who your helper will be tomorrow.
My advice is, if you are a Yoruba man living in Kano, please do well to run to Sabon Gari before the beginning of Jumat prayers. Housas don't care if both of you just finished praying at the same mosque. They will still do what they want to do to you.
Most crisis in Kano usually start after the Friday Jumat prayers.
Stop spreading lies and inciting propaganda here to stir up ethnic discontent. This is not an Ibo secessionists website! Since this thread started, only the well-known Ibo bigots on NL have been making taunting and sarcastic comments about Yoruba folks. You must all learn to be less talkative and be more circumspect or guided here.
The Yorubas, Idomas, Ebiras, Auchi or Etsako-Edos, Isoko and other ethnicities have always lived in Sabon Gari and No-man's-land in Kano in addition to Yorubas living for decades in near-absolute peace in other Yoruba population centres in Kano State.
Sabon Gari means NEW TOWN in Hausa language and the land was originally allocated for housing ALL ethnic groups who are non-Hausas. This does not mean non-indigenes have not been living in other middle-class and posh areas of Kano and Kano State.
I incidentally know Kano very well right from the 1970s so be careful how you make taunting and dishonest comments here.
This is an unfounded or exaggerated fear. The entirety of Kano folks or Kanawas are not so stupid that they would attack Yorubas because the President is of Yoruba descent. The contest was between 2 Kano Governorship candidates in APC and NNPP.
Rabiu Kwankwaso is also very close to Yoruba folks and President Bola Tinubu so he will NOT allow any attacks on hundreds of thousands of Yorubas in the Old Kano State (now Kano and Jigawa States) or the new Kano State who have lived there for many decades in different communities and LGAs as business people, as traders, and in several fields of endeavor. Many Yoruba folks especially Muslim Yoruba adherents in the North have even become Hausanized and you wouldn't even know they are Yorubas until they tell you their family history from different parts of Yorubaland from Kwara, Kogi, Oyo, Osun, Ogun, Lagos, Ondo and Ekiti. There is a prominent Yoruba Imam in Kano I read about in the 2010s in Punch newspaper who does the Islamic call to prayer at the Central Mosque in Kano and this shattered the lies and fake news being bandied online by sick ethnic bigots that Yoruba Muslims are not allowed to lead Islamic prayers in predominantly Hausa mosques or that they are not recognized by Nothern Muslims!
Kwankwaso once said himself last year that he has easy access to see Babajide Sanwo-Olu the current Governor of Lagos State at the Government House in Marina over any issue affecting Hausas or Northerners in Lagos, so you can see that they all are close friends despite being in different political parties.
Far Northerners generally view anything that happens as the will of God or Allah so whoever the courts decide would be the Governor will be taken in good faith although with some initial pain. Period.
Prigidypogodo: lol dey play bro those people you mentioned are their main men and number one in different frats. and average Awka influential man or popular man is a bloody cultist be it an elder or youth. I lived in Awka for almost 5 years so I know this first hand. trust me ending cultism in Awka is a mirage because it's deeply rooted. from revenue collectors to ndị olu ani (land sellers ) etc Awka na den of cultism in Anambra. how I take survive there for years still baffles me.
Dikastan: If Awka elders, traditional rulers, leaders of thought, and who is who decide to stop the killing in Awka ,it will stop. They know the people using these boys to cause these killing but they don't want to point them out. Most of these boys are Keke riders and they are not from Awka but they are used. Two bigwigs are in power tussle over whose cult group will dominate. Make I stop here
Kalakulu: The first ever terrorist attack in the UK involving 2 Nigerian brothers who savagely butchered a UK police officer was committed by yorogbas, I'm sure these two animals will refresh your memory, na una start terrorism on a foreign soil.
Both young men were born and raised in the UK and had NEVER EVER traveled or been to Nigeria! The two young British-Nigerians had NO ties to Nigeria other than the fact that Michael Adebowale had 2 Nigerian Christian parents of Yoruba descent and the other Michael Adebolajo had a Yoruba father and a hardworking Bini-Edo single mother who had even reported her son's radicalization before the terror incident.
This old story you're ignorantly quoting here in your attempt to DERAIL this thread was widely reported for days here on NL back in 2013, and I remember some dishonest Ibos were gloating over the incident by insulting Islam and Yoruba folks. Globally, it gained critical attention in the mass media and online simply because the 2 young men were British-born and from Christian families before converting to radical Islam in the UK. This is the reason why Nigerians told the British to deal with the two young men who are their citizens and NOT demonize Nigerians on the continent and that's what the British did haven discovered that the two boys were products of the British system haven been born and raised in the UK. Period.
Abdulmutalab too was radicalized while schooling in a UK University and some Ibos who were gunrunners and members of the criminal Boko Haram group have also been arrested in the past. I remember one of them had an Ibo father and a mother from Niger Republic and it was widely reported in the media in the 2010s so nobody should say Ibos cannot engage in terror attacks in the Western world or Nigeria.
LegendHero: In the UK when they are arrested for posting crazy stuffs online, they arrest them and no one scream freedom of speech stiffening.
When the Nigeria government arrest them for propagating terroristic speeches online, the hypocritical whites will come and say African government are stopping freedom of speech.
The lunatic guy thought it’s Nigeria where IPOB terrorist openly spew threats while the government look away ballessly. He don carry Nsogbu Nsogbu mentality go UK.
They should deport him back to Biafla so he can practice what he preach against his fellow black Jews.
2..Of the above population, 1.7m are Muslims representing 18% while Christians are just 185,000 equivalent to 1.9%. While Jewish religion adherents have about 73.6% of the total population.
3..From the above figures, it could be seen that Israeli Muslims are nine times more than Israeli Christians in Israel.
4..The Israeli Defense Force has an army of 169,500 (active personnel). Of this number, only 150 are Christians while Muslims are 606, the rest are Jewish Adherents. 5.. 40% of #Jerusalem are Palestinians.
As the War rages, know that people are dying and only the bigots will pray for Palestinians to be wiped or the Israel to be wiped.
Botragelad: The IDF releases videos of foreign hostages being taken into Al-Shifa Hospital in Gaza on October 7, 2023 (IDF SPOKESPERSON'S UNIT) One video shows a group of Hamas terrorists dragging a man into one of the hospital entrances, clearly against his will since he openly resists.
The Shin Bet and the IDF on Sunday night disclosed a video showing Hamas bringing back two foreign hostages, a Thai man and a Nepalese man, to Al-Shifa Hospital on October 7.
One video shows a group of Hamas terrorists dragging a man into one of the hospital entrances, clearly against his will since he openly resists, though he is overpowered.
Another video shows a man on a stretcher who appears to have been wounded in his chest, with a large amount of blood coming out, as well as with one of his legs severed.
IDF obtains surveillance footage in Shifa raid The IDF did not identify which foreign hostage appeared in each video but said that the videos were obtained by internal hospital footage, though they took several days to obtain.
The IDF released videos gathered from security cameras of foreign hostages being taken into Al-Shifa Hospital in Gaza on October 7 following the massacre in southern Israel (IDF SPOKESPERSON'S UNIT) However, the IDF said that the videos were clear evidence that Hamas used Shifa as an operations center connected to the October 7 attacks on Israel's South and the taking of hostages.
There was no statement by the IDF about where these hostages are now, but in recent statements, IDF officials speculated that several Hamas terrorists had escaped from Shifa with hostages.
Besides these videos, the IDF had already shown that it found bodies of Israelis killed on October 7.
IDF soldier, hostage was murdered by Hamas IDF R.-Adm. Daniel Hagari also revealed that intelligence has shown that Israeli hostage, Noa Marciano, was killed in Shifa. This is in contrast to Hamas's narrative that she was killed by Israeli airstrikes.
Hagari said that Marciano had been wounded at some point, but that a pathology report said she was later dealt deadly blows by Hamas in the hospital.
Bump. Now that was really gross and hilarious at the same time with the back-and-forth accusations... LMAO.
TBH, that Bangladeshi woman's story doesn't sound right to me. How did she get so comfortable to be able to grab a knife and slice off the man's penis? It was indeed a premeditated act. Men have to be careful not to get entangled with scorned women in setups such as this.
Godoverevery: Note- this not a post to bash ladies.
A pattern I noticed with most working class ladies have dated from 27yrs old upward. At the earliest stage, they claim to be tired of relationship, they are fine without a man. They are doing fine without a man and in fact if not for pressure they don't mind not getting married...(mostly lies)
They say am financially ok without a man, i bought my phone, paid house rent etc without any man and i can never depend on any man hence why they can never be liability since they are working..(mostly lies)
Most claim to be doing fine during the wooing stage but immediately we start dating things turn out differently from what they claim.
Am dating a lady currently who works for a fashion house on the island...During the wooing stage we actually spoke alot for about 2 months and she claimed to be financially ok and doesn't need a man money. Infact she told me how much she paid weekly which is very decent with free accommodation and feeding.
We just started dating not up to 3weeks and this lady have been making demands which I find very childish and too disgraceful for an adult working. She always complaining of money despite earning above minimum wage weekly.
This morning she called and i didn't pick........I chatted her up and she telling me her cream have finished and i replied hmmmm. This a pattern have noticed with most working class ladies have dated......they tell you am an independent woman during wooing stage but once relationship start it just seems they are working and not earning with the way they demand and still be pressuring you with marriage talks.
(just want to know if am the only experiencing this or is just normal)
Note: this the fourth time this lady is demanding from me in 3 weeks and they are embarrassing to me for someone who earns.
That's interesting.
She could be TESTING you initially to know if you are a giver because that's the way the traditional African society has wired some women and that has also led to some level of entitlement in the younger ones.
Also know that if you fail this test, she'll tell her close female friends who will start telling her you ain't serious and that she should have a Plan B because you're tight-fisted. Her calling you "Ademi" (my crown) in the screenshots means she's already seeing you as a long-term provider.
In any event, you are not her father and you are ONLY dating to see if you are compatible for marriage in the medium to long-term. She earns above minimum wage weekly so she should be able to afford the basics although in Nigeria, wages have stagnated for a lot of folks but the cost of living has doubled or tripled depending on location.
If you see some other traits in her that you truly love, both of you can sit down and gradually steer the conversation into how to manage present and future finances together. Define your relationship with her and both of you will begin to see the BIGGER PICTURE on how to plan your lives better without her billing you or making financial demands. If she doesn't change by being annoyingly demanding, then she has to get gone... Ditch her ASAP and get another lady within your social network.
Just know it that it is wired in the DNA of most women worldwide to always want to KNOW more. It makes them feel secure that they have a man who has his life put together and is a good listener.
BreconHills: The point I am making is that working class in Nigeria refers to those who have jobs usually decent ones as opposed to student who depend on parents. .
However in the UK working class people are those born into the lower parts of society and who have to work two or three jobs just to stay afloat. Heredity, parents occupations, and level of education is the determinant of class not money.
Indeed. Your last paragraph is very true. Working class are the blue collar workers. Therefore the Nigerian definition of working class is completely WRONG. The British definition of working class is the right one.
Second, I also observed the wrong usage of the terms public and private schools by Nigerians. The correct British terms for public and private schools are NOT the same with the Nigerian definition. Many people just follow what the media and society regugitates to them like lemmings without investigations about etymology or origin of words or things.
descarado: Actually, you all here don't know the real meaning of alpha male you claim to be. Alpha male is a traditionalist and insist on providing for his woman always. Alpha male came from romance novels coined by female romance writers and is the most selling among all genres of novel. They are possessive and can do anything for their women.
Example of an alpha male is Christian in fifty shades of grey.
When I see you guys make this mistakes often and on, I come to the conclusion you don't read or research.
Those that writes supernatural romance eg werewolves used alphamale to depict the male. Cos the male is a provider and proctecter.
One idiot online that knows nothing will come online to talk about what he knew nothing about and people will join the train without making little research.
What you all promote, follow and practice is narcissism not alpha male.
Know the difference.
Indeed... Your perspective resonates with me. Well said.
The real meaning of alpha male has been bastardized by the younger ones here on NL since the early 2010s and I had the cause to correct some of them using an older NL moniker of mine. The term refers to even CEOs and other successful men who are strong but flexible, natural leaders and they are protective of their women and families. They are very distinct from male jerks who are verbally abusive and treat women very badly... These male jerks are NOT alpha males.
I first knew the alpha male term back in the 1990s on a men's only website and the TRUE definition is completely not the same with what is being carelessly implied by some young NL users.
Jewessgratitud3: Ow... Nigerians especially ladies can falsify their age for so many reasons. Some do it to deceive a man to marry to them. Some do it to get a job while others do it to get certain position of office. It's just too much.
Me I can't hide mine cos I believe what will be will be. I don't have to lie to get it.
Indeed @Jewessgratitud3. You know what? That's one major reason why I like you... You keep it real in your posts! There are four of you ladies that I know here on NL who are single in your late 30s, and early to mid-forties, and you all don't hide your ages. I have more trust in women who convey positive vibes in their convos and say it as it is.
I was on an NL thread just recently where a female celeb had her supposed 39th birthday but the thread OP indicated 38 years, while a U.S.-based female NL member who's in her early 40s told me this female celeb has a younger sister who is actually 39 years old. She also insisted that the celeb was her senior in highschool back in Nigeria and could not be less than 41 years which is her own real age.
I didn't push the convo further knowing full well [based on my gut instincts] that she was right being also a popular long-time female member of NL.
TBH, if I had a lover or potential lover who has tweaked her age just to conform with some silly social standards, I'll ditch her "faster than a speeding bullet" because it's not sexy cool and it comes back to embarrassingly haunt them when they are found out. That's leading a fake life.
Last but not least... How did you coin the moniker "Jewessgratitude3" that you use now? What does it truly mean or say about you?
madscientist88: jos rayfield,stefans and elims top suits are alive at night mees palace is another place to visit.crime rates are low in jos but still be careful, average gunfire per night is 3.
Newdawn30: User Can Nigerian sitting president be arrested for a crime of identify theft and narcotics committed in the united states if he visit the united states while in office
ChatGPT The ability to arrest a sitting president of Nigeria, or any other country, for crimes committed in another country, such as identity theft and narcotics offenses in the United States, is a complex matter that involves international law, diplomatic relations, and the specific legal framework of both countries involved.
Generally, sitting heads of state, including presidents, have diplomatic immunity, which protects them from prosecution in foreign countries. However, this immunity is not absolute and can be waived under certain circumstances. If a Nigerian president were to visit the United States and be accused of serious crimes like identity theft and narcotics offenses, the legal and diplomatic processes would come into play.
In practice, if there were credible evidence and legal grounds to arrest the sitting president of Nigeria while in the United States, it could lead to a complex legal and diplomatic situation. The specific actions taken would depend on the laws of both countries, any applicable international treaties, and the willingness of the countries involved to cooperate in legal matters.
It's important to note that this is a hypothetical scenario and the actual outcome would depend on various legal, diplomatic, and political factors, which can change over time. For the most accurate and up-to-date information, consulting legal experts or official government sources is advisable.
Romance › Re: Why Ladies Are Failing To Get Married by XAUBulls: 1:59pm On Nov 25, 2023
