₦airaland Forum

Nonso23:
Machiavellianism redefined

Who is he? Is he from Congo? I read only Congolese books.

KanwuliaJara:
Gerrrrrrout of NIGERIA!

There's nothing like Nigeria here in the graveyard

KLand:
Advice from hell. Readers beware.

You're already in hell bro. You'll get to find out when you can't endure the fires no more.

Without having to bother you with unnecessary preambles, I'll just get down to the list.

Spurn the rules: The world was created without rules and it still functions without rules. The waters can decide to overflow its banks whenever it chooses. The wind can decide to blow towards a different direction whenever it feels like doing so. Except for those confined within zoos, animals too do not live by rules. So are the humans. Rules were only invented by power-hungry folks in order to check your growth, and they succeeded in installing almost impregnable measures to ensure you were conditioned right from birth to adhere to these rules. Like the animals in the zoo, the rules are your zoo; a restraint to your nature-given freedom of exploration and adventure. If you want to be successful, you have to spurn as many rules as possible and you have to do it wisely. It's always better to make the rules yourself than follow established ones created by someone else. Let your imaginations soar positively and religiously develop the habit of bending any rule that would prevent you from acting on it.

Limit the distance you keep with women: Women as species are obsessively selfish, infinitely sly and inherently manipulative. However, these attributes shouldn't be considered as negative qualities. From an objective angle, they're simply tools they picked up along the way as they grew to ensure their survival in this harsh world of ours. Unlike the men, their ability to survive depends on their ability to get a man to die for them. When they ensnare such man, they make him willing to serve by codifying his service to them with insane romantic terms, and further encourage him to be more vulnerable to incessant manipulations. They'll attempt everything with their power to get the man to deviate from his purpose and live to fulfill theirs. No woman is an exception to this, unless in the rarest instance her purpose coincidentally matches yours. Seeking out these rare exceptions requires enormous time away from your pursuits– a luxury you aren't afforded with in today's world. So, if you chance upon these women be willing to covet them; they'll push you beyond your limits to achieve your goals for your success is their success. Else, maintain as much distance with women as you can for how high your success climbs is directly proportional to the amount of distance you keep with women.

Always lie: This is very important because to be successful in your ventures you have to learn to market yourself. And to be a great marketer you have to be a great liar. This assertion is evident everywhere; the media always lie to increase their viewership; women always lie to gain sympathy; men always lie to make themselves more presentable; politicians always lie to canvass for your votes. The world thrives on lies. Yet, you wonder why you're often encouraged to always say the truth? It's simple; nobody wants to be deceived but everybody wants to deceive somebody. It's the only way to prove smartness, which is an invaluable quality you must arm yourself with. Your degree of smartness is determined by how capable you can lie. Even the bible highly recommends this in the Book of Genesis.

Develop the spirit of retaliation: No matter the myriads of equality jargons being forced down your throat, don't forget you’re living in a cut-throat world. Don't ever forget it's a survival of the fittest out there. If at one moment you give off the scent of weakness, those who think they're stronger than you will seize the opportunity to pounce on you. They'll keep coming at you again and again and again until you're crushed into oblivion. This scenario is applied in every endeavour, be it the simple quest of building a family or the arduous pursuit of achieving a lofty goal. To be successful, you should develop the habit of fighting back in the 'wisest' capacity as you can. You should be able to incapacitate your attacker forever. Else, you'll be the one to be incapacitated. Donald Trump, the biggest estate developer in New York practises this and it's evident where that practice gotten him.

Advance with technology: This isn't that unconventional, it's nonetheless worth mentioning. Almost every activity we perform today is linked in one way or the other to technology. And as technology advances, the subsequent changes it triggers also trickle down to these activities. Thus, your ability to survive depends on how fast your innovations can advance with technology. If yours is too slow, you'll risk being overtaken. If it’s stagnant, you'll risk becoming as extinct as the dinosaurs.

Masturbate whenever you're feeling depressed: The road to success is indeed a thorny one. Often, it will try you capacity to withstand pain and your willingness to forge ahead. Depression will often steal upon you during such moments and fill you with doubts. When it happens, try as much as possible to neglect the popular and banal advice of talking to someone about it. It would be a waste of time if you do because nobody really wants hear about your depression. They might be willing to listen once or twice but after that you're a nuisance unless you pay them. Instead of talking to people who don't want to listen to you, grab a lubricant and masturbate. It's been proven to be far more effective than talking to people due the temporary state of euphoria it triggers in your brain. Like a system that reboots after crashing, masturbation wipes your depression and restores your brain to its original and hope–filled state before depression came calling. Once done masturbating, dive into work immediately and you'd be amazed at the extent at which your imaginations would extend. However, you have to moderate the number of times you masturbate as too much might leave you fuzzy and forgetful.

Bonus: Never trust anybody. Not even your God.

PS: You won’t get this kind of advice anywhere. So, practise at your own risk. Neglect at your own expense.

Phew! The graveyard is littered with esoteric wisdom. It's available to only those who can see without looking.

By YourCoffin

OP, just like the other advice to men, this advice is not in tune with today's world. The world has gotten harsher, faster and independent. We have no option but to align too or wither off. Your parent's style of marriage could most likely be a disaster in yours.

BlackTechnology:
Gbam


That's why it is shameful that we are begging US for weapons instead of developing ours

They won't develop ours when there're lots and lots of anti-gay bills, pro-child marriage bills, abolision of the 13percent derivative bill, creation of Christain court for Christain laws bill, biannual signing of MOUs for power generation, etc to execute. Nah. They won't develop ours. Not even in the nearest future.

What do you expect when Nigerian government signed anti-gay bill into law. Ostracizing and persecuting the gays equally translates to alienating the US's government's help in any national problem. If they're bold enough to sign such bills while negelecting the real problem bedevilling the country, they should be bold enough to fight their own wars on their own.

AlfaSeltzer:
Blood turn black and flesh turn blue,
I will curse you if you force me to,
by the left hand and the unclean food,
I´ll curse your eyes, I´ll curse your lies,
I´ll call down a plague of flies,
blood go black and flesh go blue,
evil from me and back to you,
my soul clean and yours on fire,
you mess with me you get burned, liar.

Hahaha! Abeg na, pity the poor soul.

ATOB:
I wish you could come down to our own level and let us understand.

Nah! I'd rather you climb up. I don't have a ladder here.

Marriage is a bliss only if you're dead. Spirits enjoy marriage here in the graveyard.

If this report is true, I believe the Chadian government it just a proxy. This BH menace is bigger than the Chadian government.

Sophyrocks:
Nice words for your future wife Op. Do not mind the myopic people here making jest of the write up. What do you expect from little boys with empty brains? A lot of them were not properly trained to treat women with respect. Their comments tells you a lot of how horrible their marriages would be. A lot of these boys are attracted to vain women no matter how they condemn them and beat chest for us here. At least, the write up shows a man ready to handle the responsibilities of a real man. Real men that all these small small 'boys' should learn a thing or two from. Only Small 'boys' that size up their Ego by their Diks will mock your write up. Immaturity isnt about age. Real men will end up with women who deserve them.

You're a fool because I'll not only mock his write up, I'll go further to call the OP a hopeless dreamer. This's the kind of the dream teenage boys used to dream until reality smacks them hard on the face.

OP, my little advice to you is never create imaginations before meeting an object of interest. It leaves ample room for suicidal disappointments when you do. Instead your imaginations should come after proper assessment of the said object. Our world is not a world of fantasy!!!

Mushood:
u are rite bro cos am a victim of wat u said above. I cooks everything I wanna eat even wen my gf come visiting. But stil, I get tired of cooking some days and I will prefer going to canteen. COOKING IS NOT EASY THOUGH!!! GBOSA to housewives

Second gbosa for them!

Fourwinds:
so u think is not tiring for women too rite. if u know it is tiring den learn to appreciate women in dis regard . I'm a man., I do all dis things with ease. u say men are not organise in dis respect. I put it to u dat some men are well organise using myself as a reference point.

Okay! Woman no dey cook for me. So which woman you wan make I appreciate?

milkytea:
I guess you have never heard of male chefs.

Yep, because it's fetching him money. When money is involved, they would be extremely creative in the kitchen just like me. No money, no sweat- their mantra.

@OP, you and I know it's just a waste of time. Words don't move boys. Actions do. Just show him the proper way to mas.tur.bate without vaseline. Vaseline makes the kini black.

I only have one thing to say and that is that:

Thunder will fire any woman that holds or will hold or still holds me or my sons reponsible or blame us in anyway for what her grandfather did to her grandmother and expects us atone for her grandfather's sins.

Nansense! No points made here. Been hearing same gibberish since time immemorial. I like the way I'm living whether it's deemed responsible or not. Don't care.

For a man, marriage is the surest way to your untimely death after accidents.

Both of you have same attitude towards each other: excessive proudness. When two proud people jam together common sense no longer becomes common. The only person with that common sense right now is the sister and I'm afraid she can't do much. So, I suggest you guys go your separate ways and find someone else to lord your proudness over.....

NaNaYaaah:
Please explain sir?.. confused

Assignment: get a thick note book and label it MY OBSERVATIONS. Then study your environ in every ramification especially regarding the behaivours of both sexes for at least two weeks. Jot your observations down. Then compare your jottings with their previous behaivourial histories. If you don't get it yet, something is wrong somwhere.

Didn't you hear? The men are becoming the women and the women are becoming the men.

smartmom:
But they naturally like to eat? and women are NATURALLY cooks from birth? Give me a break

Same way women naturally want to live in well-built homes but would prefer not to lift a finger when building it. Some systems aren't built for certain activities.

Bukatyne, my aim isn't to make excuses for men. I'm only stating how their system works. If I can be able to cook my meal myself, believe me I'm hundred times better off. My mum made sure of that but somehow my nature doesn't allow it.

Mondisweets:
please from which countries is Western media from?

Is there a difference between NTA and Nigeria? If you think there isn't then there's no point arguing further.

Mondisweets:
tell my if the West is so wrong why is it we have more chaos in countries that believe otherwise, whereas these Western countries are so civilised? After being offered a lottery visa to these incredibly biased western countries, you will still find an African packing to leave without even thinking twice.

Mondisweet, I don't understand your point nor how it relates to what I wrote. Do you mean there's chaos in Iran? Or that there's no chaos in western countries? Did you note that I said Western media, not western countries? And how does visa lottery and Africa come into this?

Men will always be men. If you like teach them till thy kingdom come, it will come a time when he would dump all those stuff and start frequenting restaurants. House chores and cooking are really tiring for most men. When I mean tiring, I mean tiring.

For instance, my mum trained me quite well in that aspect. I can cook virtually everything. But right now I only boil noodles and I'm good to go. No time for all those pounding and turning of pots. Very few men retain their cooking skills as they grow because naturally they would prefer not to cook, especially ones that require time and extra care. They are just not that organized and focused as women and therefore cooking is really a hardwork for them.

If you have to force your boys to learn to cook, prepare to buy countless pots and make sure you have a fire extinguisher ready somewhere.

coogar:
i don't support capital punishment as well but the western media outcry here is because the culprit is a woman. where were their cries before now when iranian men were executed?

iran publicly executed 360+ men last year, the western media didn't make a sound concerning those. a woman premeditatedly killed a man in cold blood & the feminism-driven west suddenly have an opinion that she should be spared.

the hypocrisy is baffling.....

And then they wonder why feminism is turning sour in so many people's mouth this days. I'm watching the dynamics of that ideology. It would eventually lead to something unexpected and perhaps disastrous.

9jatriot:
Are you guys serious Any link to this other version?? I usually view the western media with skeptism, but for something like this? Na wa

Here:
www.america.aljazeera.com/articles/2014/10/25/iranian-woman-hanged.html

Coogar, if the evidence are true, yes, she deserves to be murdered, but by life imprisonment. I don't support capital punishment.

coogar:
she was a murderer......
it baffles me how the ever biased western media react to such incidents in the middle-east when USA execute prisoners every week.

this woman premeditatedly killed the victim. there was a text message on her phone that read "i think i am going to kill him tonight". she bought the knife 2 days before the incident - she was 200% guilty

Yeah and her victim was stabbed at the back. It baffles me how Western media deliberately keep leaving those parts out. I never watch any news on Western media this days without verifying from other sources. Don't want my opinion on a continent to be based on someone's biased and jaundiced opinion.

If I'm to go by the details of her trial, she isn't that innocent. Still, I'm strongly against capital punishment. It serves no good!

OP, if I'm the one in your shoes I would have divorced her since. You're the only one who can determine your happiness. Your kid will have no father if you suddenly die of depression.

And never seek this kind of advice from women. If you do, you will only come out worse than you were. They will not and can never empathize with you because they don't know how to do that. It's only the wife they're seeing and therefore, everything they say will be centered around her, not you.

Lubbish! Next!