₦airaland Forum

oloyemeji:
My spacewagon fuel pump is not supplying to carburetor rewire and mechanic check the fuel pump they discover its working even they saw the outflow of the fuel but car wont still start except they use mouth to pump fuel into carburetor it is only then it will start. Brainbox is working , nozzle is working and ignition is working.

we need to ask few questions to get a full idea of your problem

1 was the car running fine before ?

2 you said talk if ecu aka brain box and then carburater or caburater wire how is yo system intergrated

3 have you checked the fuel lines

4 have you checked the fuel line filter

eanestca:
I don't know if am alone on this but am finding it a little bit challenging to find a wife.
its kind of awkward but its true, am in my late twenties gainfully working but am just finding it hard to find a lady to settle with, I hardly go out except when my guys come around and am not bad looking neither am I arrogant.

Are there others in my shoes or once in my shoes, please could you share your experience, I would really love to learn from the experienced ones in the house

the problem is how you are approaching the idea of having a wife

you dont look for a wife but look for relationship with someone who has physical sexual body that you would want marry

then as the relationship goes you look for the characters in that person that make you marry her i.e get to know the true her and if the true her has the right ticks for marriage then thats the women you would marry

looking for someone to marry to me means, imposing your dream character of a woman marry on a woman you like to be your wife, therefore yoy will spent most time of your relationship, trying to make that woman your dream woman you have in your head than getting to know your woman the woman she is


remember marriage is about two people raised up differently and trying to a one untill, without knowing each other better its hard to be a until

mosesmora:
Yes you are right when saying a thermostat shouldn't be removed. Removing a thermostat is like a temporary solution if it is bad and you are not ready to fix it ASAP. The driver of such vehicle should take the vehicle to a good mechanic to check and fix an OEM thermostat. The real reason why mechanics remove it is just a part of laziness from them. Failure to troubleshoot the problem and recommend alternatives. To go back to my previous point, in our weather here the engine operating temperature with and without thermostat is not so much and the engine performance will not be seriously affected compared to colder regions of the world. This is equally not enough to remove the thermostat. The radiator and fans will only be overworking continuously shortening their lifespan.

the problem is the misconception that the thermostat is for the west world due to low temperature

the thermostat is mainly there to maintain optimum operating temperature thats makes the engines more effiecient in saving you fuel and also maintaining the longevity of the engine block, without a thermostat your engine is being heated and cooled at the same time, thats not good for the engine block

ImaIma1:
You have still not answered the question.

Now that women are supposed to work like men and provide for the family, should they also be solely responsible for the chores and caring for the children? Or the men should also share that responsibility

you are supposed to share responsibility to help each other

but remember when two people marry its two people coming from different backgrounds most would want his/her new house to be like how they got raised up aka picking things that worked for mum and daddy in their marriage, so many forced each other to adapt to how one was raised instead of working a new way that works for the two of you

so you find one who would say my wife should never work becoz his picked the idea from his father becoz his father was able to feed the family without the mother working, so he imposes on his wife too even with releasing that lifes are now different etc

so as acouple adjust to what works for you not to what your father and mother used to do


eg here in the west some jobs a a 12hr shift so meaning eg wife leaves home 6 am to start 7 and came back 8pm, should i seat down and wait for wife to bath kids, cook and eventaully sex that evening ? your wife would say no to sex becoz she is already tired, but if i had bathed kids cooked for her and then go for sex she wont say no becoz i have shared responsibilty and she feels loved becoz i have consider that she will tired from 12 hr shift. this is adjustment am talking about adjust to what works for the two of you not to what tradition says

ImaIma1:
This question @ zimdrill

its not like women are now supposed to provide

there have been always supposed to provide just like men, but you need to check into history how colonisation messed up our ways, then look into how familys started to be run when men where now working for whites aka colonisers

men solely started to provide for the family as land had been taken away and no free movement for wives to gather food like before

so men took advantage of being the only family provider and women believe that he can provide everything and this made some women idle and wait for husband to be the only providers

at the same time men took advantage of be sole providers and abused women becoz he is the one who brings food on the table, the women cant leave the marriage as husband is the sole provider

to understand some of the problems we have nowadays you need to look into history how we used to do it, what made things change

its not a matter of reliquishing responsibilties its a matter of understand your situation as husband and wife and trying what works for you at the present time than trying to use what worked for your parents, circumstances change due to time and development of the human kind

ImaIma1:
Good question. Over to you zimdrill

yea ask

greenhulk:
Sorry to say bro but u just passed some wrong information. The numbers in 5w20 etc does not denote temperature but viscosity of the oil. Eg the 5 in 5w20 stands for viscosity of the oil when in could conditions while the number after the w represents the weight of the oil when warmed up. In other words, 5w20 oil is lighter than 5w30 when warmed up, they both have same weight in could conditions.

you are right i criss crossed the viscosity measurement and winter/cold start (W)

5w aka 5 viscosity measurement at cold represent by W

then 30 viscosity measurement at 100 degrees or engine operating temperature

KOPT33:
I agree with some of your points, but this is a house we are talking about here. Was the house completed in one month? At the very least it took 1 year.

How can you be in the same house with somebody and not tell them you're pulling off a project as big as homebuilding?

In the earliest stages, not informing the man made a lot of sense, but what of when the project had taken off? What of during roofing? There were many instances where informing the man should have been the next thing on her list of actions, not really at the end of the whole project.

If she has the mental fortitude to withhold information such as this, what else is she hiding?

I personally will CEASE all interactions with a woman who this stunt.

What if the man had a specific design he would like to have in a residence? It is quite demeaning. You might be able to stomach this kind of stunt, but not me or many men I know. The very thought is nauseating.

are you saying its ok for a man to do it

but wrong if a woman does it ?

its most men who surprise wives with new houses a project done in secret from start to finish and that ok

if the woman does the same to surprise hubby, you know see her as enemy please swallow your ego and praise

antagonist:
Oga, once again the 0 in 0w16 does not specifically correspond to outside temperature. It doesnt mean that if its 0w16 then automatically it's for places with morning temperature of 0 degrees, if you can't understand that simple one then there is no point in further explanations

anyway when you have time

play these

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aRvZyIPKR90


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TC57XMMSRqY


this one is from total oil


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=99cJ5sHG0oI&t=441s

antagonist:
Lol

Oga this world temperature argument is dated, try to update your logic. The USA has some of the highest temperatures in the world, death valley, Nevada, and some of the lowest, Alaska, Montana, so which corner of the world exactly are you referring to?

its yo knowledge which is outdated, oil nowadays goes by those numbers, you are confusing yourself my explanation was based on the average winter temperature figures which is the 1st number which bring us back to whether should we warm up the car in the morning, the explanation had nothing to do with how hot it becomes no

the relation with morning temps with oil number is how think enough it is in the morning to start and drive away with warming up like old cars of 40 years ago

also go back and research to find out how cold can be in desert or nevada, you will be shocked to say desert area can be very cold to 0 at night

antagonist:
Long explanation and contains plenty wrong Information

The 2018 Camry requires 0W16 engine oil

Please apply your logic to that and explain it

According to you the 0 in 0w16 represents the average morning temperature, where in Nigeria have you ever seen 0 as average morning temperature?

Don't spread wrong info or info that you don't fully understand

go back and read again 0w16 does it applys to every corner of the world, no most nigerian car are US import therefore the manual would say 0w but if you read the repair manual wouls recommend your region temps oil

go and read again then get back to me

technoloy has helped the oil lubrication on engine to be more advanced than 40 years ago

you dont need to warm the engine like ages ago

thats the reasons oil now have number like 5w30

basically the number represents weather condition mainly temperature and how thick oul it is at cold

(5w) represent average morning winter temperature, which means that oil is ok to use for regions thats has an averange winter temperature of 5 degrea in the meaning, which means its ok to drive straight without warming the engine as the thickness @ 5 degrees is able to quickly reach areas that needs oil before any damage as been done

in simple terms the bigger the 1st number eg 20w the thicker the oil if morning winter temperature is below the 20 number (basically nomatter how cold is the morning your recomended oil should able let you drive straight way without warming up ) except extreme cold regions like alaska were some people heat up the coolant system by an extra system that they connect to the car

or another very simple explanation, honey, the cold the temperature the thick it is and the slower it can flow

so if your oil doesnt match up with yo region averange winter temperature eg you averange morning temp is around 5 and the oil you are using is 20w30 it means your oil is not thin enough to quickly reach parts that needs oil at cold start, the right oil would be 5w30

20w30 would be ok for areas that have average morning temps of 20 degress

so the oil u use must always match yo average morning winter temperature so that u dont have to wait for engine temperature to heat up the oil to became thin enough to reach tight places quickly before mental and mental grinds against each other

Gerrard59:
Today's economy doesn't encourage a one breadwinner situation unless you are extremely rich as the man. As a result, men desire their partners to be contributing to the household, financially.

However, the hypocrisy is when these men expect the woman to display obsolescence - which is not possible when one has financial powers. On the other hand, today's women desire equality in everything, what better way than asking them to contribute to the household financially?

Today's marriage institution cannot be same as yesterday's. Change will occur, APC-like, I don't know.

you nailed it

problem is people mix up with what used to be 100 year go and present day

most african women would say "can you look after me meaning she expect more to be look after than bring something on table too"

colonazation messed up out division of labour as family, before colonazation there was divison of labour in a family home, husband did the hunting looking after cattle etc and wives did the gathering for foods and vega etc, when the white came men and women were separated, man were forced to leave in a room intowns while wives were left in rural areas, it then becames sort of tradition way of living this went on for the rest of colonization periods. it become normal for husband working while wives were in rural areas, husband sending money and groceries etc hence the come phrase from our african women "i need an man who works and look after me" as during colonization men were forced into labour camps mines etc wives were not allowed etc

then independence came, economy failing things force man and woman to work but thats idea from women to be looked after hasnt left 95% of them, even when she is working and being capable of looking after herself, she still has the idea to look after instead of setting up a bar for men to say if you want to date me, you either meet my standard life that am maintaining with my own money, than most brokes girls who relay on boyfriends/sugar dadies

education of women has brought out sharp talent women to be good and bad wives i.e being educated women doesnt mean you disrespect your hubby and good wives provide for family than waiting for hubby only two salaries are always better than on unless if hubby is millionaire

my point is looking after wife, is wrong phrase unless if your are flithy rich if your are not then both hubby and wife should provide for family a comfortable life, wives dont seat and wait for husband no your meant both to provide for each other through your roles not wait just wanting to be looked after like brolier chicken

the same applies to men, if the wife is earning 20 times as you it doesnt mean your role to play your part as been removed no, you still play role

only a stupid man would not play his role to provide for family if you dont its either wife will find someone who does secretly which roughly means the wife might end up sleeping with your wife or your family will remain poor for generation

those who are well rich yes they can look after the wives, those who are not well back the old ways hubby and wife provide for their own home

i see stupid responses from my fellow man

1 the wife eventually knew that husband is not good at money so she tookover being the financial mananger in house and managed to built a house

2 as individual we are gifted in different ways, the wife is gifted wise with little you have and do something great, being a man doesnt mean you have gifts in all, lets honour good wives that steer a family in a good direction, having your own home is what every man & woman wish for on this earth whether it was the wife or hubby bought/built behind the back doesnt matter as long get informed on presentation day to say hthis is OURS

3 the wife is not claiming the house to be hers but THIER house, hubby should swallow his stupid ego that produced no house for the family and praise wife of being wiser person on this house issue

4 if it was me i would put all shit together to be a better financial manager and buy the wife a great gift eg a car or fly her to good holiday she never thought she would go

4 lets praise were credit is due like they do us when we presents houses, cars gifts etc

mosesmora:
Do you know that using a thicker oil like 20w50 that Mobil oil and other oil companies sells in Nigeria is deadly to your engine than removing your thermostat ? Do u understand viscosity of motor oils ?
I am not so much in support of removing thermostat but I have seen and heard many cars that stopped overheating after thermostat has been removed. Mind you this only proves that Thermostat was the problem

---

. According to some research I made here in Naija, the thermostat sensitivity is very high and it takes longer time for it to close and open in many cases here. Before it detects that the engine is running hot to trigger the fan to blow and coolant to circulate round the engine the cars have already over heated. Mind you this is not the case of every cars. So don't quote me wrong. Some cars have thermostat with no issues. All overheating are definitively not caused by thermostat.
The point now is " if a thermostat causes overheating, what will be the solution that you have without removing it". Our unqualified mechanics solved the problem. You can't prove otherwise unless you have a clear solution to this issue. Simple

let me explain engine temperature as per viscosity u mentioned. 90% of engine wear occurs at engine start up. When a thermostat is removed in a hot weather like Nigeria, the fans/coolant keep cooling the engine. Observe very well, within few minutes the engine is warm at nearly it's operating temperatures or just at it's operating temperature even when the thermostat is removed. You do more harm to your car if u are using a heavier oil. Normal Engine operating temperature is something around 90 to 100 degrees Celsius. Most cars without thermostat enters this range except in very cold conditions like heavy rainfall and some cold weather experienced in Jos and Northern Nigeria during Christmas period. Even with that temperature scenarios, the engine is still close to its operating temperature because we not close to any thing like Winter season here. In addition, like I said before, The right viscosity of your motor oil is d most important.

there are many things that cause a car to overheat anything directly relataed to thermostat would be a thermostat stuck shut (meaning when coolant/water in block engine reaches 90+ degress it cant open to let in cold coolant/water from the radiator) in this case the thermostat would be the problem

the other factors needs to be investigated, simply removing the thermo is bypassing the signs of overheating but the cause of overheating wouldnt have been solved, what you would be doing is shorting the life span of your engine and also loosing horsepower and toque

overheating issue are matter of elimating causing, testing each componet that might cause over heating, not just taking of the thermostat and through away, a faulty thermostat should be replace with a new one

removing a thermostat with finding a cause of the overheating is like a coughing child, cutting her tongue wont stop cause of the coughing

then as per versocity yes true your are correct 20w is the wrong oil as it will take more time to reach critical parts becoz of it weight

mosesmora:
Do you know that using a thicker oil like 20w50 that Mobil oil and other oil companies sells in Nigeria is deadly to your engine than removing your thermostat ? Do u understand viscosity of motor oils ?
I am not so much in support of removing thermostat but I have seen and heard many cars that stopped overheating after thermostat has been removed. Mind you this only proves that Thermostat was the problem. According to some research I made here in Naija, the thermostat sensitivity is very high and it takes longer time for it to close and open in many cases here. Before it detects that the engine is running hot to trigger the fan to blow and coolant to circulate round the engine the cars have already over heated. Mind you this is not the case of every cars. So don't quote me wrong. Some cars have thermostat with no issues. All overheating are definitively not caused by thermostat.
The point now is " if a thermostat causes overheating, what will be the solution that you have without removing it". Our unqualified mechanics solved the problem. You can't prove otherwise unless you have a clear solution to this issue. Simple

let me explain engine temperature as per viscosity u mentioned. 90% of engine wear occurs at engine start up. When a thermostat is removed in a hot weather like Nigeria, the fans/coolant keep cooling the engine. Observe very well, within few minutes the engine is warm at nearly it's operating temperatures or just at it's operating temperature even when the thermostat is removed. You do more harm to your car if u are using a heavier oil. Normal Engine operating temperature is something around 90 to 100 degrees Celsius. Most cars without thermostat enters this range except in very cold conditions like heavy rainfall and some cold weather experienced in Jos and Northern Nigeria during Christmas period. Even with that temperature scenarios, the engine is still close to its operating temperature because we not close to any thing like Winter season here. In addition, like I said before, The right viscosity of your motor oil is d most important.

you are shifting to win i never talked about oil

i responding the thermostat removal only

mosesmora:
Many of you said it all with some correct answers both ways. I however do not like when we just say " as long as car manufacturers put thermostat there....... you should leave it". Most car makers do not recommend engine flush AND it is very good for cars (especially old cars). Most car makers do not recommend transmission additives and it is very good and helps prolong the life of your trasnmission- gear box. You can compare the temperature characteristics of a car in Canada and Dubai. Our mechanics I admit do not know about cars but it is by trial method that overheating has been stopped in Naija by removing the thermostats. Of course that may not be the best method but it actually works to solve this overheating problem in many cars imported from abroad. According to some research, it may also be some other problems in the vehicle like failed temperature sensor, engine gasket etc. A CAR without thermostat suffers more in a cold weather than in a hot weather like here. The truth is there are engine performance issues when a thermostat is removed which may not be so significant in a hot weather like Naija. This removing thermostat thing is not the worst. The worst things we do on our Car is using a thicker oil with viscosity of 20w50 instead of 5w30 or 10w30 for most old cars.

you are wrong to say removing a thermostat it helps to solve overheating in reality removing one if the car is overheating sort of hides the overheating issue as coolant/water in engine wont be pressured enough to heat up and it would be flowing directly to the radiator getting cooled down therefore the temperature will never reach 90 degree aka average engine optimum efficient operating temperature.

so removing fools you to think overheating has been solved but not, bypassing other instruments doesnt mean the intial problem has been solved

addictiv:
If you read my post well you will realise that I have already empowered her to buy any thing she wants by getting her a well paying job. I believe a woman who is married should be cared for and pampered by her husband. I believe he should buy her nice things and give her funds when he can. But it should not be on a monthly basis and she should have her own role and contribution to the home front. I grew up in a family where my dad and mum are both earning and while my mum uses her money to run the home and buy foodstuffs, clothes for kids etc. My dad took care of the capital expenses like building projects, school fees, cars, travel, during holidays he would take us shopping, as we grew older he started giving us money for upkeep esp during Christmas season and other festive periods, he will also buy bags and cans of foodstuffs some to give out and the rest for the home.. My dad has never come home to hear that there is no garri, or money for soup no de. Cos feeding and clothing (herself and her daughters ) is primarily my mum's responsibility. It doesn't mean he doesn't buy her gifts or gives her money when he wants to. They have their system and have peacefully and successfully run it for years. Bearing the whole responsibility alone as a man will only run you down and Wear you out. For all those quoting Bible saying it's a man's responsibility to provide for his house I absolutely agree but I will also remind them that most women in the Bible were primarily house wive's who didn't work and relied on the husband for everything. Now most women re working and have to play a role in the home. Lord knows I ll run mad if my wife keeps asking me for monthly money for home upkeep when she's earning. Monthly money is only for house wives.

i get you

but then your set up in how you run your finances is different, eg i got influence of west finance ideology i.e no matter the wife has a well paying job still family income both husband and wife salary is combined and family budget is worked from there. than saying wife money is for he needs etc

the reason in the west why most family combine salaries is for getting mortgage to buy a house, its easy to quickly raise deposit from two salaries than one and it is also easy to finish your mortgage quickly from two salaries than one. So in the west thats why married people are open and put their salaries together.

Most africans we are still financially illiterate, we burden ourselves buy trying to prove that you are a man aka ego by saying my salary is enough to look after the family, salary from wife is hers, instead of putting the two salaries together and achieve greater things from the combined salaries

Most africans in africa dont understand the mortgage system hence, we dont see the reason why two salaries are better if applying for mortgage etc

Back to the story, in my world whether wife as good paying job we still put our salaries together and do our family budget from that we give each other allowances, lets understand finance and a couple should know there net worth, it helps them to achieve things much easy

Hanseel1:
You're contradicting yourself.

If you should call him a boy because he doesn't want to give his wife monthly upkeep then I'll call you a kid because I can remember when I logged in sometime ago I saw a thread about a lady insulting a man who didn't give her money for cab after date, You supported the man.

If you can support a man for not footing all the bills of his date then you're a kid .


Now, responding to that line.. Who'd give the man the money required to purchase the beer you're talking about?

the thread of taxi girl was about a date (not married couple)

this thread is about married couple there is a huge difference there hence the thread says SPOUSE

so you are mixing the two

addictiv:
I ain't giving no wifey a dime, the best I can do is to get a well paying job for her and she can use the money from there to take care of the home upkeep, while I focus on capital expenses. I cannot come and kill myself. Imagine paying my wife salary... For what na? I no be bursary or scholarship board. It doesn't mean I can't occasionally buy foodstuffs, give her money or get things for her and family. But it's solely on my discretion and definitely not on a monthly basis.

your are missing the big picture you are still a boy

1st its how nigerians 2i assume you are" too misuse the words Upkeep/allowance to wife

2nd your wife shouldnt be given money for upkeep or allowance as you say but should have money monthly "if possible" to buy things like earrings perfume, bras, pants, shoes, clothes new hair ourfit etc things that even if she wasnt married had money she would buy those regardless being married or not

3rd so you aint paying her salary as think or see but the money is to buy new stuff for herself eg a sexy dress etc things that make her look beautiful a nice dress etc sure you wouldnt want your wife to be known to wear the same outfit for the whole year

4th remember this money applies to both men and women as man you need money for beer if you drink, money for a new season jersey for your fav team etc this money is from that covers personal needs after paying main expenses and also if your monthly income can afford that

MiztaFabulous:
In every reasonable way it is very necessary that a man gives his spouse a certain amount of money every month for the upkeep of the home whether she is working, doing business or not.

In your opinion, how much do you think is very reasonable for a man to give his spouse every month that will definitely be okay to maintain a comfortable home?

In any home thats has an income monthly budget should be there and all expenses put on the table to see what you can manage with the income you have

Remember every man wishes his wife to be beautiful like she was from day 1 or more beautiful so if income has extra money give wife to buy personal things like make-up ear rings nice outfits etc then way not give her own allowance

The same applies to you as the man you get your own for beer, hair cut cologne etc

This allowance should be last after other main expenses eg rent, food, transport, skol fees, savings etc

The problem with most african is this, their are finance providers but there are not good managing the little they have, hence you find women managing the little there are given by husbands, they manage by cutting corners eg not paying attention to her personal needs but putting hubby and kids 1st becoz the little she is given is not even enough for kids & hubby

So both hubby and wife should get allowance for personal things, but depends if the family income can afford that

In my world give personal money to wife or hubby so thats they remain atttractive by buy things that brings out beauty in yo other half

So whether she working or has a business she running still allowance based on family incone should be handedover not physically through hubby but doing your books as husband and wife

To allocates a figure as allowance you have put the total income together then minus main expenses of the family

So african man dont do budget with wives they handover what they think is enough money is used to control women

Beke2020:
that's why you have to comment on the blog story if you truly want to advise, but it not compulsory. however, some stories comes from some NLanders, that's why we share it here to encourage more people to reachout to us with their issues.LS was borne out of a vision to change the narratives...so dont be critical,Life takes us around sometimes my friend and....

you are missing the point

most people dont come here to be re directed somewhere

Samuelgr8:
your comment on the blog story will be fine

its useless because the person who is meant to get advice on wont he here,

it seems like you want to promote the blog

Deadlywoman:
Ok

The girl reminds me of old skol people from rural areas aka village

1 they wouldnt notify you that there are coming to visit
2 they would borrow money for transport to visit you
3 usually they would visit mid month when your are broke and stay till pay day
4 on returning you give them money they borrowed, then return transport money, the usual extra cash you always give them and lastly few groceries
5 they would never came with their own money for transport to and fro & would never make you feel apreciated by eg u offer tranport money for the return journey, they will never say dont worry i got it. If they would then u would feel much loved & appreciated becoz one had used his own money just to come and visit you

So generally the visit had costed you more than usually monthly allowance you always sent to them

Deadlywoman:
I agree with you, my point is that he played a role and forfeited at the last hurdle. It would've been better if they communicated, he could've told her that the cab requires payment instead of it being a surprise. What if she wanted to take a bus home or she wanted to go somewhere else. If I call a cab for you on my phone I'd let you know inadvance that the cab needs payment. He put her into a financial contract with her knowledge. If they won't both forming they'd have a conversation about the date. Why did he pay the cab on arrival? He wanted to be a gentleman, then why not carry that through? It's awkward and it was avoidable.

Yes

But a normal person wouldnt agree to meet someone for the 1st time without your own to take you there and back

Lets day the other person dies on his way, it means she wasnt able to even pay for 1st drop off, then on last drop off assuming she had money from the start then it means she could gave paid the last drop without moaning becoz had extra money becoz she didnt pay on the 1st drop off

Then on the phone being dead meaning she couldnt pay electronically if she was going to pay herself, then she was supposed to ask the guy/ driver what type payment the taxi would take.

The guy had taken care of the actual date needs, whether the taxi needed cash or electronic payment would be the last thing of his mind especially when he taken care of the transport bill before the actual date bill.

Deadlywoman:
Simple communication would have avoided this awkward situation. She was too proud and arrogant to assume he paid and he was an idiot for not being a gentleman this time around. He paid for her cab on arrival which he had no business to do, then he forked the bill but he couldn't add a cab ride. Constancy is the key here. Do something wholeheartedly or do nothing. Don't half ass things. They both flopped on this date.

The guy was a gentleman from moment he paid she was dropped off (she was meant to pay her own ride )

What type of person goes on date with her transport money ? He did the thing wholeheartedly ie asking a girl on date meaning he taking care of her evening or whatever time of day it was but it doesnt mean taking care her transport to and fro

Going on date is like going to work, you pay for your own transport to and fro, you dont expect your employer to pay if for you unless it was a special agreement after discussion

Something the lady could have said, doesnt have transport and the guy had shown interest am sure he was going to agree to pay the transport to and fro . But such discussion was never done the guy assumed a normal person would have money for to and fro

Shugavee:
The guy was wrong,,, he would hv told her,,, cause since he ordered the taxify ,, it’s expected he would pay.. she was very clear.

You are biased becoz she is a fellow woman

A normal date

1) The 1st date, both of you pay for your way to the agreed meeting place, (she didnt the guy paid when she dropped off) meaning thats her saving the money she was meant to pay for the taxi to the meeting place

2) if she didnt have money for transport to and fro to the date she should have told the guy on the day he asked for the date and it was going to be up to the guy to say dont worry i will pay for your transport. She didnt so the guy assumed that she has money transport

3) only a stupid person would agree to meet someone for the 1st time and doesnt have money to go back home. (Lets say the guy gets robbed on his way to date) was she going to be stranded ?

4) leeches like her always want everything for free, a date means having a meal to know each other and see if you can date. If you dont have money for transport to a date and u dont tell me, when you arrive and ask me to pay i will take u as leech and i wont date you.
A guy who is interested in a girl would pay for transport if he is told about not having money transport

On agreeing on date, both put an effort the guy would cover the entertainment meal etc the girl should make an effort to take herself there with her own money unless if the guy wants to pick her (if he drives) or sends a cab

In this case both use public transport

Samuelgr8:
Good evening Admin,

I just got back from work and I am exhausted and at my wits end. I got home only to find that my husband who has been at home has done nothing but watch video games all day. He left everything and the children unattended to.It is past 9pm and I am officially loosing my mind.

I work in the bank. I met Vincent seven years ago. He came to the bank to make transactions on his domiciliary account and I was very helpful to him. He flirted with me and I went along. In a matter of weeks,we were dating. I found out he was from a well to do home. Vincent schooled abroad but returned back cos his parents discovered he was using drugs.

Vincent could never keep a job since he returned from the US. He was struggling with staying drug free. Most times he stayed sober for almost eight months,sometimes he failed. I didn’t know he was drug dependent until almost one year of dating. His parents were happy he was dating me . They thought getting married to me would make him become responsible.

I also thought I was in love. He made me feel he needed me. He made promises to stay sober if I helped him. I thought I actually could make a difference in his life.When we got married,Vincent lost his job that his parents got for him in a company due to his laziness. He was always turning up late for work.Sometimes he was absent from work for weeks. His parents got so angry and to teach him a lesson,they stopped giving him any money either. That affected me cos he couldn’t provide for me or my kids after that.

I went to the parents to assist and they put the kids on a monthly allowance to assist me but warned me....more


https://livelystones.com.ng/i-am-tired-of-being-my-husbands-mother-for-six-years/

Whats the point of copying a story from a another forum? We can not talk direct with person who wrote it, there are few things that might need clarification directly that speculation from responders like us

Ellekonrad:
Sooo I have been seeing this guy for awhile now. Im generally a quiet and passive person. Even he acknowledged that at the beginning. But now he tells me to “stop speaking” quite often. I don’t think I’m talking too much, but I still try to remain quiet to avoid an argument. After about 5-10 mins of sitting there silently he will asks me “what’s wrong?” Then on top of that if I reply and tell him it’s because he asked me to he’ll usually say “well you’re talking now so clearly you don’t listen.” He told me it’s because Nigerian men like a nice quiet woman.

In the beginning he’d say he’d never lay his hands significant other, yet when he was annoyed with me for waking him up(he asked me to make sure he got up because he had a plane to catch)he slapped me in the face. It wasn’t hard... but I was shocked nonetheless. Then he proceeded to tell me to get away from him or he’s going to put me out of his house. When confronted he said it was a cultural thing and that a woman needs discipline when she’s wrong.

My friends are concerned by his attitude and think he might end up being abusive in the future But I’ve read on a few forums that this stuff is somewhat normal.

Any tips on how to please a Nigerian man? Do I try to talk less or fight back?

Well love is blind sometimes

He slaped you over nothing

Which such people marrying him would be mistake, they think they got more right to physicaly discpline when are married

Well its upto you to marry or date someone who thinks a woman should be disciplined.

A woman is level headed as a man, talk thing out, slaping is for kids

sisisioge:
The girl might have been lying to him to get extra cash. I have done it before. She would collect from them and collect from him as well just to get more. How in the world will deeper life parents leave their children's upbringing to strangers? When her father suggested masters, did he say to his face he wanted him to foot the bill? Whew, he should just forget it...na front he go find him wife

True version didnt cross my mind

The guy is too blind to see

smartcodesng:
I know we do have some shots here. I need your advice on this. It’s about my girlfriend and her parents. While she was in 100 level they catered well for her till she got to 200 level that we started dating. Her parents doesn’t send her money cos they think she is wayward. I have been taking care of all her bills to the very least of them. Anytime she is on call with her parents (either of them) it’s always quarrel and arguments. This has made me develop hatred for them. She claims that since they became deeper life members that was when all these problems started cos she doesn’t wanna be acting the way they want. No trousers and all that. Now he wants her to go for her Masters and it’s causing a huge problem. Knowing that he didn’t contribute anything to her since her 200 level I was infuriated cos if you didn’t contribute nothing during her Bsc pursuit then how does she cope doing masters. I was so angry that I did the most stupid thing I have done in my life. I texted him this and my girlfriend goes rogue on me. Is it safe for me to continue in this relationship?? One thing about hatred is that you can’t undo it so please I need all your advice on this. ⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️



This is not intended to disrespect you in any way. The way you treat your kids is not right. You don’t have to force a career on them. Sorry to say but you and your wife lack the understanding on how to go about your kids. Just because you don’t want them to be useless doesn’t mean you have to stress them mentally. They don’t have the parental support that they need in life rather they are scared of you. Why do you think they don’t like coming to the house. Their fathers house is more like a lions den to them. If all parents were like you and your wife then the world would have been a disaster. Take it or leave it you have failed as a parent to your daughters, who knows what you will put your son through. The sooner you realize that we are no longer in your good old days the better for you. Don’t make your kids hate you because you need them. Have a lovely day..[b][/b]

You are part if the problem

You took over responsibilty instead of letting the parents do what their meant to do. They relaxed becoz someone like you has taken over, you are doing it out of love but at the same time you are seeing the negative side of the parents and that feeds your anger towards them.

Most of the time guys like you get dumped when the girl finishes uni and you cry foul becoz u feel used & you thought paying her fees was sort of guarantee that she will love and marry you

Prognose:
No woman wants to suffer. Scratch that, nobody wants to suffer.

You guys keep lashing at girls that all they want is money. Well do you guys have anything else to offer her? How else do you prove to her that you have a promising future. You think anyone wants to associate with a deadbeat? You cant buy her lunch, you cant take care of her in anyway, but yet you want to stick your dick into her. How? Just like that? for free?

Na wa for una o.

For you to want a girlfriend you should be able to take care of her. Having a girlfriend isn't beans, its a responsibility. Our ladies need to be taken care of properly so that they in turn can take care of you.

Let's stop shaming girls who look out for the money abeg. If you were a girl you woulddo the same thing.

There is nothing wrong wanting money

But there is this self entitlement from girls wanting be look after as if their are broiler chicken its wrong

1st set standards for yourself without anyone’s money and anyone you date should be able to meet your standards

Most girl’s standards are funded by boyfriends themselves cant maintain the that life, hence they target curtain type of men who can sponsor the fake life.

2 Never demand something you can never afford becoz you got no clue how aquire such taste and to work for such things, thats the reason you find most who inherit money & properties It all away becoz only know how to spend got no clue of how hard was it to work for it.

Having a pusssy doesnt mean, you should exchange it with being look after & neither is having money means i should give it to any woman i sleep with. If i ask for sex in exchange for money thats ok but if am in relationship not marriage money shouldntbbe part of the relationship becoz we are still leaving apart and still our respective parents or yourself is/are responsible for your welfare not boyfriends