Odotech:
Your husband is investing in Nigeria because he knows Nigeria is a lawless place where should both of you divorce today, you will get nothing from the courts. Courts here pervert justice. But if it was in UK he invested, whether he puts your name or not, the properties belong to you both except you had prenuptial agreement. He may have his fear of losing out if divorced for insisting on investing here in Nigeria. You too have the fear of losing out because of his choice of a lawless country as investment destination. The middle point should have been investing in Nigeria under you both's full legal name ie Mrs Jane Sobotie and Mr Jude Sobotie. In law, "Mr and Mrs Jude Sobotie" is not recognized name. Tell him to put your name or henceforth forget about investment in Nigeria. Support only joint investment in UK where you have automatic right to any property in his own name or invest in your own name here in Nigeria if he refuses to include you in the existing properties. Make him understand that you know and understand his fears is about losing it all through divorce but that Nigerian courts and systems are already biased towards men in the event of divorce, so your legal name must be included. Should he relocate to Nigeria tomorrow or secretly marry another Nigerian woman, she automatically inherits properties built with your money because your name is not on those documents. Nigerian law recognizes not just court marriages but also customary marriages so your own properties will be shared between you and the secret wife of your husband. You seem like a good woman. The type most of us would like to have really. You appear supportive and not interested in divorcing your man like we read about Nigerian women dealing with their husbands in the UK

Testiebobo:
My aunty's husband kissed his wife in the presence of their children. And my mum was not okay with it, she rebuked them privately and told them that children are fast learners and very sensitive. They tend to do things they have seen their parents doing in their presence. I see nothing really bad in it, except that the children are less than 12 in age. Is it right?

RevenuesBoost:
I came across this post on Facebook.

It says, "You are married to a man and he is beating you all the time,... Just know that 90% is your fault as the lady"

So many ladies were not in support of the post.
What do have to say about this, do you think he is right?

Yamleg:
In what ways do you discipline/scold your wife once she goes out of being well-behaved?

Rich4god:
As strange as this may sound, let's stop encouraging baby mamas, it's not a good thing to do or to be proud of.

These days I hear most guys say that they won't marry, they would rather look for a lady who will be their baby mama. Some guys are even planning to have multiple baby mamas.

Well, which lady in her right sense would want to be a baby mama. Aren't you even ashamed that you call yourself a baby mama. Like the purpose of coming to life is not even to be a mother and a wife, but a baby mama who might be left alone if the guy succeeds in taking away the child from you.

Anyway, that's not the main purpose of creating this thread.

This is an HYPOTHESIS...

I have come to realise that most children raised by baby mamas/single mothers are very wild and lack morals. They are usually toxic inside of them and very disrespectful, no shame, no atom of responsibility in them and they always behave as if they have no parental guidance.

It's seems like a woman alone should not be left with the sole responsibility of training a child from childhood through teenage ages. Women do not have the mental capacity to do such and so the child doesn't turn out well.

It's a different game when a woman lost her husband and is left alone with the children. In this case, 60-70% of the time, the husband's relatives helps the woman to train the child. But that's not the case of baby mamas/single mothers.

Most baby mama/single mothers do not usually have the support of relatives due to the circumstances surrounding the child they are bearing, and so they are left all alone in training the child... and in greater percentage of the time, the child is not trained "rightly and homely".

My appeal goes to the men, if you need a child, go and adopt one... If you need one carrying your blood, better get married and join hands with your wife in giving your child the required parental guidance they need.

Crystal08:
Hey guys, I am looking for answers or solutions to my situation.
I am married to my Igbo husband for 6 years now and we are living abroad, I myself am of mixed blood, half amerindian and half African.
The problem is, my husband has a son with a woman many years ago, he now wants to pay her bride price to claim his son.
Will that action give her any rights or is it only for him to be able to get his child. This woman has been calling his phone unstoppable as if she is his wife, what am I missing here? I am his wife, and this matter is disrupting the peace in my home. We have 3 children together , a son and after two daughters.

GGIA:

I don’t want any relatives in my house. both mine and hers.

Demurray:

How would you expect a man and his wife to stay in husband father's house for life? It has to be temporary

Gentlesoul2021:


Countering every comment here looks domicile. You can clearly go on with ur approach to life, let those who feels they can manage with their parents then build their own house and move in have their say. It's that simple...
All these castle and all u capping are just mere words...

tallfish145:
Most women who are once respectful and submissive became something else the moment they are through with child birth. No respect again,nag at any slightest argument or issue and other negative attitudes. Why is it so?

Tracey000000900:
Good day NL I'm a student in my second year about to be through with ND studying Mass Communication... Lately, things have been hard and I'm trying to buy textbooks do assignments, and transport myself to campus every day...it has been a lot...this evening I got back from class and I couldn't find my girl at home...I called her then she made me realize she was going back to her mum's place to work... We had been together for many years and we already had two kids together... Before I decided to go back to school..im so depressed right now... She sounds like she is leaving me.. ...I need help please there is a job I can do to help myself...My kids are with my parents and they are both schooling there.

NikoDeBonAmi:


Obviously not as permanent home per say but until you decide to build a home for yourself and not going to pay rent. If the parents later die while still in the house what becomes of the house?

NikoDeBonAmi:


So how about a situation where the house has a separate one or two bedroom BQ with its own kitchen and everything where they don't have to share anything with the parents in the main family house. Is that also bad

SUPERPACK:
I see nothing wrong if it is for temporal stay. My dad has 4 brothers, they all stayed in our family home with my grand father and mother and worked in the state. They all had 3 children each and some 4, but as we the children approached 18 years they all started moving to the houses they built due to space. The 3 bedroom they each had was no longer enough. As we speak they have all moved out with no one staying behind except the first son and family.

This has always been the traditional startup in my village, the children depart when their family becomes too big for the family home.

It fostered love and peace, but as the new generation came in this is now hard but they still occur. The implication is children now hardly know their cousins, in fact they pass each other without knowing.

Don't allow anybody to make you move into face me I face you when you father's house is empty, only move when the time is right.

Greatihex:
Who teaches or tells children to call their parents "mummy" and "daddy"

Socratiz:
I would approach the issue if staying with your parents when you're married on a case-to-case basis. It depends on the nature of your relationship with your parents.

Those who have a toxic relationship with their parents will never do that. You have heard of children who avoid even a normal conversation with their parents. You cannot advise such a child to live with their parents with their spouses.

But if you have a loving, convivial and stable relationship with your parents, you won't mind living with them with your spouse.

However, you need to set healthy boundaries between your family and your parents.

If each party is aware of their boundaries and such boundaries are respected, there should be no issue between you.

In conclusion, I submit that it's the nature of your relationship with your parents that determine whether you'd live with them with your spouse or not.

jmoore:


The op didn't say it as permanent home.

jmoore:

Some married couples are living in one bedroom. Living with inlaws is not what will make her not to achieve what you listed.

Building requires finance. Saving can help to increase finance. Save the money for rent while staying in father's house. 6-8 years, you should buy a land and start building yours.

NikoDeBonAmi:
These days we see a lot of people saying at a certain age they are suppose to move out of their parents house. We even see were people attack others for still staying with their parents and thinking of marriage.

If your parents have a big and comfortable home were you stay and then you have a good job or flowing business in that same city or town, what is wrong to remain in your parents home and get married there especially when they are very happy for you to always be around them with your own family.

Wittyglam:
Have you ever wondered what makes a marriage strong and enduring? Well, it's the emotional connection between partners that forms the bedrock of a long-lasting and fulfilling partnership. It's not just about having a companion, it's about having a profound understanding of each other's feelings, needs, and aspirations.

Cultivating emotional intimacy requires open communication, active listening, and empathy. When you share your joys and vulnerabilities with your partner, it creates a deeper bond that fosters a sense of security and support. And when you face challenges, your emotional connection becomes a resilient anchor that helps you navigate difficulties together.

In short, a strong emotional connection is the heartbeat of a thriving marriage, reinforcing the notion that a successful union is not just about being together but about truly being there for each other no matter what.

Spe23:
'My married female boss at work forgetfully left her locker unlocked while going out. I checked the locker and found a male condom there.'

I overheard my neighbours married women discussing how they sleep with other other men one day. I felt sad.

Why do some married women commit adultery? Do they forget their wedding vows or what? Don't they have conscience? Don't they know there would be repercussions?

Your private parts that God gave you to give exclusively to your husband, you share them like souvenirs! Why?

janejjjjj5000:
I hired a househelp in October. She is 34 years old. She tells me she wants to get married and that she is not getting any younger.

My mum is around now on a visit and when she heard her saying it, my mum told me to send her away so she will not snatch my husband.

My mum said that people like that when they get too desperate can come up with all kinds of ideas.

I trust my husband but my mum's words have been playing in my head.

I would appreciate your advice.

Thank you.

ogascomax:


Go ahead and give to her but educate her about how life should be. It's not just about you but for a learning in life. Talk to her with love not with pain or anger that she could learn. However some people don't learn or take correction and if it comes to that with time don't help anymore because you should help those who will appreciate you.

madridguy:
Kindly overlook her character and give her the money.
Meanwhile, Congratulations on your beautiful bundle of joy.

nickyvil:
The truth is, our society and culture believe is when a woman marry, she should submit all she has to his husband cos the husband owns her which its wrong, our culture render the woman as slave to the man, but now the women are waking up. Everybody is entitled to his/her money. The same reason why most men wont put Mr and Mrs in his document its the same reason a woman should have her document in her name.

nickyvil:
Most time its not about the husband, its about the uncertain future, no one knows what the future might hold so women are now doing things in their name especially properties, my wife told my mom point blank that every of her properties will be in her name which my mom understands, I do to and we never heard any issues with that, not that she doesn't trust me but its just a normal thing to do. Its her money and have right. My problem is not her building but her father's house, that is bad investment.

Autobot05:
Good morning and merry Christmas

I have this distant cousin ( Mid 20’s) and we are quite close. From my perspective She kinda suffers from a mental disorder or illness rather but y’all know African parents and their mentality na. Her parents believed it’s a spiritual thing . This cousin of mine often run away from home.

The last time she ran away from home, she copied a pastor's Number from a TV advert when watching TV at home and ran to his house when her parents tracked her down to his house through his ( the pastor’s) help too. After meeting her parents He said she should stay at his place for a while so he can tackle her case specially . Her parents often send money to the pastor during those times. After a while She suddenly packed her bag and ran back to her parents house Without any explanation and the pastor kept calling her mother frequently to bring her over that he wasn’t done with the deliverance or whatever. ( the pastor is a married man btw and stays with his wife but I don’t know if they have kids )
Fast forward to last month the parents of my cousin found out she was pregnant. After multiple interrogations She finally confessed that the pastor Raped her ( while she was at his place ) and threatened to kill her if she tells anybody
She never told anyone even after she came back to her parents house until they found out she’s pregnant. The pastor isn’t aware he is still calling for them to send her back but her mother isn’t picking his calls

I’m lost because I was so close to her. she even babysat me as a toddler and even taught me Before I was old enough to go to school and we have been close since like forever … now I even stopped speaking to her because I feel so bad she opened the door for all this mess by running from home and not telling anyone at the right time .. I’m just trying to manage my emotions because I’m short tempered and can act irrationally when Angered

What can I do in this case ? What legal steps can be taken ?

verybadmouth:
Japarians. I greet oo. I know sey una never sleep. How much una buy life chicken for Japa and how una take kill am? Make una share photo ooo abeg

Whalis:

This is how educated and well trained people make suggestions in public places. One mad dog with little advantage of information he has, has been stalking me since with acerbic words.

Whalis:
UK and not US uses imperial measurements.

enambobo:
I prefer the US. They pay way better than the UK with less taxation. UK uses tax in growing her economy. More reason why tax rate is pretty high compared to the US.
Plus majority of the US companies pay based on hourly rates. Meaning you're paid based on your time worked. If you put in the extra effort and work 16 hours, you're paid based on that unlike the UK where the rate most times is fixed per month. Not many UK companies pay hourly.

Blackdisciple:
Meaning she doesn't trust her husband and the husband shouldn't trust her too....

If he has money he should secretly building a house or establish some businesses elsewhere without her notice simple...