₦airaland Forum

MrBrownJay1:
The reason parent would want to know how much you make does.... What parent in his right mind would want to let their Child move out without knowing if that child can afford to live on his/her own?! So i am giving you A reason why they should know. Same as i would have said that they should know so that they now can refuse to help take care of your upkeep, and let you start to be Independent.

You are focusing on.moving out only its way broader than your focus thats why I said lets stick to the simple question why becoz even married people have parents so do the parents have right to know what he s/he makes ?

MrBrownJay1:
I mean, normal parents want the best for their children therefore they would never let you move out, unless they knew you could take care of Yourself. Thats the amgle where parent should know, while not wanting a piece of your cheque.

The question had nothing to do with moving out it asked a simple question but too broad subject but stick to the simplicity of the question

Your angle will derail the simple question

diportivo:
the mitsubishi pajero u drive always have this symptom.


u need to change the engine and gear

and convert it to carburettor too...with three contact set worked inside the engine


u will then delete the fan....it has to be air-cooled










me leaving the thread like............

Bloody hell if your son wake up with a cold after cold shower you as the dictor to do a heart operation

MrBrownJay1:
Bro i wrote moving out because we all have to, one day or another, and they need to know that you will be able to take care of Yourself.
If a person cant say NO THANK YOU to their parents and manage his/her own money then probably they need their parents to be in charge of their money

Am not dismissing your angle but if we go that route we lose the focus on main question which simple without different scenarios

Richhard:
Whose Responsibility Is It To Provide?

Relax and read this to the end, I bet you will learn something New.


The scripture below seems to be the anchor for this argument.

“But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.” -1 Timothy 5:8 KJV


I want to shake some tables. I have read books; listened to messages from renowned pastors; all saying that it is the responsibility of the man to provide for the home and the usual anchor scripture is the one quoted above.


The effect of that message is that generations after generations of ladies have come to see themselves as the responsibility of the man.
It is classic conditioning at play. You hear something too often and you begin to believe it as truth.
Not long ago, I read a post where a lady was advising guys to go for ladies their size because you cannot expect a lady who has been using a very expensive body cream to lower her standard because you, the guy who is now dating her, cannot afford the class of body cream she was using.



As expected, most of the ladies who commented were in support. Ladies who have seen the four walls of a university. Ladies who should be able to apply logical thinking to spot the flaw in such a statement were all in agreement.



I have tried to look for the rational behind that post. A lady who, obviously, was buying her cream by herself, now has a guy who is interested in her, and suddenly the new guy has an added responsibility – to start buying her cream for her. How that makes any sense, I still cannot fathom.


Unfortunately, the story is not different all over the world. For some ladies, being in a relationship with you means you cater for all their personal needs.


The questions that beg answering are then,

1. Who was responsible for those needs before they met you?

2. What happened to the source of income that met those needs before they met you?

3. Why does all that have to stop just because they met you?

I don’t deny that the female gender is pleased when her man shows certain gestures like buying stuff for her. But surprising someone and taking responsibility for their needs when they are not handicapped are two different things.

Then you get into the marriage institution and you see the same mindset at play. It is the responsibility of the man to provide for the family.
“Says who?” You ask
“The Bible.” They answer.
“Where in the bible?”
“1 Timothy 5:8. But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.”
But is that verse saying the male gender is responsible for providing for the home? Why don’t we back up a few verses before and read further a few verses after? Let’s say from verse 3 down to verse 16.


What you will find is a mentor, Apostle Paul, writing to his protegé, Timothy, instructing him on the subject of catering for widows, not on the subject of marriage.
He mentioned three categories of widows:


1. Widows indeed – elderly, no family members to cater for them.

2. Widows – elderly but with family members that can cater for them.

3. Younger widows – young, vibrant, with strong sexual desires, advised to remarry.

It was while addressing this subject of catering for these three different categories of widows that the verse of 1 Timothy 5:8 was sandwiched in the mix.
In that verse, Paul was specifically instructing Timothy that widows who still have family members around should not be a burden to the church.

That it is the responsibility of the family members of that widow to cater for her. For he (or she) who cannot (refuses to) provide for his (or her) own (widows in the family) has denied the faith.


Paul was not saying it is the responsibility of the man (male gender) to provide cooking money for the home. That was not the subject he was addressing. Unfortunately, that has become the twist we have given the verse.

There is nowhere in the bible where the male gender was given the responsibility of providing cooking money for the home.

The places where responsibilities ware meted out to the male, they were the responsibilities of;
1. Leadership. The man is the head of the woman.
2. Love & Protection. Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself (died) for her.

Beyond those two, no other responsibility was given to the male gender.
In fact, when the wisest man who ever lived wrote about the virtuous woman, one of her qualities was rising up early to provide for the home.
Of course, that does not in any way imply that it is the responsibility of the woman to provide for the home. But the virtuous woman did that.
If providing for the needs of the home is not the responsibility of the man and not the responsibility of the woman, whose responsibility is it?.

This therefore calls for wisdom.
We must be mindful of taking cultural practices in the bible and turning them into doctrines. The bible contains both the word of God, the word of the devil, the words of angels and the words of men.
It is not anything that Israel practiced as a nation that automatically becomes a doctrine. Bear in mind that certain dispensations bestows certain responsibilities on people.


The physical structure of the man reveals that he is more suited for manual labour than the woman. So in an agrarian culture, the man farms while the woman takes care of the home. It was the dispensation that bestowed such responsibilities on them.


As time changes, we must also be ready to change with the changing times. The era where only the man went out to work is over. Why then should only the man shoulder the responsibility of the household?
In my home there is no financial responsibility that is mine. All financial responsibilities are ours – my wife and I. Whether from rent to cooking, we are both responsible for the provision of whatever is needed.
When we prepare the budget, it is both our incomes that fund the budget. It is not my responsibility to provide for the home. It is our responsibility. It is our home.

Now, I earn more than my wife so I bear more financial responsibility. When we prepare the budget, I fund a higher portion because I earn a higher income.
If she was earning the higher income, she would bear more responsibility. It is not my home, it is our home. It only makes sense that we must do whatever makes the home work.


Maybe, out of my personal pride as a man, as my income grows, I can decide to fund the budget 100% and ask her to keep her money. But that is a separate matter. It does not make it my sole responsibility to provide for the financial needs of the home.

Now, even though I earn more than my wife does, I don’t have a 9 to 5 job. I work from home, so I am at home all day from Monday to Sunday. My wife, on the other hand, has a regular job. She leaves in the morning and returns in the evening.
Seeing that I am at home all day and my wife goes to work, who should take care of our daughter? I, of course. It is only logical that the one who is at home should cater for the baby.



So I clean her up, change her diapers, and change her clothing when she needs changing. Those are not the responsibilities of the wife. They are the responsibilities of the parents.
It will be stupid of me to say that because I am the man then I cannot do such tasks as changing diapers. That my wife must take the baby with her or find someone else to do them when I am at home all day doing nothing besides checking Facebook.

Only two commamdments were given by Paul on the issue of marriage.
The first is, husbands love your wives. The second is, wives submit to your own husband. Nothing outside of those two is a commandment.
There is no commamdment that the man should be the provider of the home.


There is no commandment that the woman should be the one to bath the kids.
There is no commandment that only the man should work.


There is no commandment that the man must earn more than the wife.
Different dispensations only bestowed certain responsibilities on the different genders that helped them cope with the time. And as time changes we must be willing to make the necessary changes to suit the changing times.

And to you, young lady, that thinks that any man who dates you is automatically responsible for your personal upkeep, that is so 19th century thinking. This is the 21st century. Human up!.
What do you think about this? Do you agree? Do you disagree? State your case on the comment section.

Written by: Mute Efe.

Culled from: https://transformend.com.ng/family/whose-responsibility-provide/

What is family? i think thats were the confusing starts
Usually before kids arrive, reference to the wife is WIFE but the moment a child is born, reference to wife is interchangeable with word family eg instead of saying i got a wife and child, you say i got family

Back to the the question who is responsible to look after the family? its both of you

From bible point of view adam and eve started to hunt and gather after the curse right meaning adam did the hunting while eve did gathering of fruits veg etc so they provided for each other

Then came civilasation were people stared to live in groups and permanent place, man looked after domesticated animals while women had small garden And both provided for family

Then finally came industrialization, no more freeland to hunt and gather good land belonged to someone rich, now work for the owner mostly manual labour which suited men, therefore the little the women provided is gone, she just look after the kids, while hubby brings in money from work and men then took advantage of new way of life by saying" i will take care of you," and this the same period women had no rights to own land, vote or inherit property even education

Now things have changed women work and provide financially but they want men to 100% responsible at the same time some feel to be responsible 100% but there is catch to it eg divorce traditionally the wife walk away with nothing as he man was the sole provider

Now the challenge with most female providers they think men was always the sole provider but history through bible or civilisation dont agree

Men and wife provide for each other
So is men, wife and children

MrBrownJay1:
Parents should know so that they wont worry when you move out their home.

Why should that be an issue anyway, if you have ðecent parent, and not the kind that sees your birth/upbringing as an investment?!

... And even if they know, are they gonna force the money out your account at gunpoint or what?!

Parent: we need 50k
Child: sorry i cant!

EOD

You took it from a different angle as in moving out, the is not about moving out, but generally them knowing how you earn

Only circumstance like there are trying to make sense of spending eg you are always broke but you are always borrowing or there are trying to teach or help you to save or invest

Parents sometime are manipulative, the moment they know the date and salary they always have problems towards pay date and they would do a budget for you

They borrow, so you can pay, if you say I don't have money they ask you what are you using all the money for

frank41:
You may not really understand...that are some families that ones you marry their daughter,you have entirely married all the problems/troubles of that family. Especially first daughter....I'm a living witness

i understand that but

as a man you should put your foot down

YOLO1:
Hello. Car experts. Kindly enlighten me on what could be running down my car battery always. I have a Nissan Vanette in which I use for commercial purpose but the battery always runs down after a month or two. I have bought new battery like 4 times this year. This December, this is the second battery am buying. Just took it to the battery charger to charge it for me now cos it has run down again. Am just so pissed off.
Please help proffer a solution to this incessant spending on car battery.

can you make something clear when you say "I have bought new battery like 4 times this year." do you mean new batteries or used once ?
becoz you said "Just took it to the battery charger to charge it for me" a brand new battery doesnt need charging it should be able to start the car and the charging get done by the car's alternator

Respect55:
Recently, different opinions have emerged as to whether the church was right to dedicate Linda Ikeji's son or not.

Let's look at it this way. God is holy. The alter inside the church is a sacred place where things are supposed and expected to be done in accordance to God's holy nature else such alter runs the risk of losing its sacredness and power when defiled.

A child Born out of Wedlock is a product of fornication that the church preach against. The baby per say, is innocent but the situation sorrounding its conception is sinful.


Now, is it biblically right or not to dedicate such babies on the sacred alter of God inside a church?

you dont agree on how the child had to be born

but the same bible you want to use against her or the church and the pastor and talks about repenting what if she has ?

where in the bible it says only a child born of married couple shall be christened?

post=73825902:
So, stumbled in a group I belong to and it puts words to my thought on the usual question of ‘How was your night?’

I remember how a friend asked my Glaswegian pal ‘How was your night?’ in Edinburgh in my presence and she retorted amidst a countenance of shock and condescension this way: ‘You are asking How was my night when we aren’t even familiar? Well, I borrowed a married man for the night, it was quite sloppy. He wasn’t what I bargained for and expected. Small device, short duration”. I smiled in shock.

So dear friends, If you are not very close to someone or you are not interested in the sexual mis-adventure of someone, don’t ask them how was their night. Will you?

Please, enjoy the excerpts and contribute your views.
The phrase ‘ How was your night?’
In the English language means, , ‘ How was last night’s sex?’
Or, if for instance, we are close and you know I went home with a man or woman last night and you ask as an accomplice ‘ How was your night?’
In this case it simply means, ‘ so did it go well or did it go as expected?’

I’ll give you two real life examples. One was mine and one happened in my cousin’s office. She consults for the UN.
In my own case, I jog most mornings.
Years back, having just returned to the country, this young man will greet me every morning and I’ll answer. Then one day, he asked me, ‘How was your night?’ He went merrily on his way, I stopped, turned looking at him in anger fuming. My thoughts were- ‘It’s not your fault, if I hadn’t been responding to your ‘good morning’ will we graduate to ‘How was your night?’

Second occurrence, at my cousin’s office.
English woman comes in and everyone exchanged the usual good morning. Then, one ‘nice’ Naija brother goes, ‘How was your night?’ English woman flares up ‘ How dare you!?’. ‘ How is my night your business?’ Etc, it took major intervention to calm the woman down.
The answer to ‘ How was your night?’ Is actually ‘none of your business!’

I have checked our local languages, I am fluent in two, and passable in one. Even as translation, no Nigerian language asks ‘How was your night?’
I am checking because this phrase, for those who know, was not in use in Nigeria as recent as 7years ago.
I suspect,some ‘oversabi wannabe’ heard it on a music video somewhere and wanted to form posh or as my Doctor friend said to me, it may have come from hospitals.
It’s common knowledge according to the doctor that sick people often have rough nights and most deaths to May occur at night. So a doctor’s question to the patient during morning ward rounds is usually ‘How was your night?’
If we exported hospital vocabulary to the streets, are we now to assume, we are all at deaths door?

The proper address for mornings is simply ‘good morning’ and if you want to spice it up by being overtly friendly, you may add ‘hope you slept well?’ A person’s night is not our business!

If we are Igbo it’s either, ibolachi- have you woken up? Ututuoma- Good morning.
If Yoruba, Ekaro- Good morning. You can go further as Yorubas love adding more, lol, “Se daada Leji’ – hope you woke up well?
None of these our local greetings intrusively asks ‘How was your night?’
So, No! It is not African either.
Let us be well aware when we leave our lanes to go measuring that of others.
TA

i guess its nigerian english to ask like that, but i think its also direct translation from native langauges, "you would be asking, did you sleep well"

as per brits the only time you ask "how was your night" (without the sexual thing) is when one was working a night shift so, you would be literally asking "how was work but specifically a nightshift hence "how was your night" aka how did the night go

if there was no nightshift work of sort, then literally you are asking about sex last night

then if its a doctor, s/he is simply asking did you sleep well, the question would be relating to whatever brought you to see him/her

Greenishland:
Linda Ikeji has been in the news lately for allowing herself to get pregnant for one Jeremi who abandoned her and her pregnancy the moment he discovered that she was pregnant.

To worsen the situation, he was conspicuously absent at the baby's dedication which means that he has made up his mind to abandon the baby and ultimately make him a bastard.

While the society has decided to judge and condemn the mother of the baby, who has committed no offence by bringing to this world and nurturing the baby, the society never deems it fit to condemn the perpetrator of the act, who first of all, lured someone's daughter into loving him, impregnated and abandoned her and has as well, decided to remove himself from the story of the baby making the baby to grow up without a father figure and consequently becoming angry by his bastard status and deciding to become a potential threat to the society.

My fellow nairalanders, my question is this " Don't you think that men like Jeremi deserve capital punishment?"

There are other men who steal the future of ladies by converting them to baby mamas after giving birth to like three kids for them and then go ahead to marry someone else. What do you guys think?

i think your using emotion to think than thinking deep

1 those two are growns who knew what there were doing there are responsible of their action in this case bringing a child in this world, here we assume they didnt use protection or protection failed

2 when you say impragnant it sounds as if a crime was committed on her, non was, she choose to sleep with him, whether he lied to her its another topic, she should have married the guy 1st and then try a child, she opened the legs and got pregnant and you want moral sympathy as if she is a victim from the start

3 no one knows the real story but dont make look like she is a victim

SenorFax:
Her intimacy gadget could be her hands at some point. How do you justify that?

What if she gave you the toy to use on her?

Nothing is wrong in someone trying to get satisfaction without cheating, as long as her husband is involved.

there is no clear answer to this question, what matters most is the feeling of the other partner in this case its the husband, both men and women sometimes we get intimidated by sexual toys or books, we think that we are able to quench the likes,thought and feeling for sex till the next sexual session. we think my wife/husband should be satified untill next time, so when we see these toys hidden then discovered one feels cheated and one thinks s/he is useless, answer only if the using partner explains why s/he is using the toys

the thoughts and feelings of sex can not be switch off becoz you had as per your routine, they come and go anytime from hours to days or weeks

lets say husband works away from home only comes weekends, during the week they chat sexual over the phone and she uses the toy during the chat

if the wife/husband would prefer toys/porrn over her better half then we can say there is a problem

my point is your routine sexx doesnt mean your partner is satified and wont feel and think of sex till the next time you make love to him or her, inbetween the last time and next session s/he will think of sex and want it whether you are there or not. being there means you do it if you are not its up to him/her how s/he deals with it,

frank41:
You may not really understand...that are some families that ones you marry their daughter,you have entirely married all the problems/troubles of that family. Especially first daughter....I'm a living witness

i dont deny that but you as son-in-law should be able to stand your ground to say it is your father-in-law to look after his family not you

the fact that you married her daughter doesnt mean that thats the day he (father in law) stops to look after his family

Xisnin:
You are right but he has a right to determine his specs in women because relationships are never equal.
If he found a woman who can take care of her family on her own(just like he does), I don't think he would
avoid her.

he is not thinking through

coming from well up family doesnt mean, she wont be taking care of her family, when you marry you only realise family dynamic when you in there from outside you admire and see glossy life

Peter4luv:
I met this girl six months ago..her story about her ex was that he left her and travelled to sierralone in africa..since then cutoff any communication with her...well since then we started dating she was even the one that gave the signal when i go buy one expensive tv from the boss she works for...she took my number without her boss knowledge at first thought she was a gold digger later found out she had true intentions for me omo naxo the relationshio start.. well to cut the story shorts and tell you guys the enormous pain am feeling is that her former Ex bf is back in nigeria and he wants her back this guy even went ahead to beg her mum to my gal make she forgive am...well the problem started on saturday..i asked my girl friend to post my pic on her whatsapp status and dp naxo this girl start to de give me excuse..still typing...................

She told me she can only post the pic of only the man that will marry her omo the word alone broke me into pieces then i knew something was wrong my galfriend can never act this way which i believed the other way round..well.after so much talks and pressure she finally gave in..she told me her ex came back last months and have been disturbing and begging her mum to beg her daughter ..well my gal friend told her mom she doesnt love the guy anymore that she loves me...i was happy at first but still i didnt buy her story..she hid the truth from me and never told me about ex about a months feeling she can handle the matter until our arguements broke outs..she told me the guy took her phone and replied me that way which i still dont believe..
Typing....................

Well she called me begging today that i shouldnt leave no matter what she tells me ..me way water don de drip for my eyes....telling me her boyfriend is disturbing her and wants her back..my first question way i ask her be say did you go out with him she said no did you sleep with him she said no...omo craze don begin kick in my heart sef follow cause the pain was increasing just be like say make i give this gal resounding slap.....
About her she is humble hardworking and fends for herslef so she hardly ask anything from me and very disciplined cooks well and very good in oza room ..she is an igbo girl..though lost her dad when she needed him most since then the hardship in her family imcreased and she has bewn struggling to fend for the rest of her siblings..she is the second born....typing......

My insecurities about her is i think her ex is back in her life and giving promises to marry her which she feels i cant cause i always promise her to be patient that i will take care of her when am rich which am working towards to cause am 23 and she is 22 and i have a car and currently building a school hostel to improve my finances so he go reach everybody but my fears is that i think the EX don go hammer money get down naija for christmas don de promise my bae marriage and sweet talking which am not providing cause say na long distance relationship which we created based on trust and love ...typing........

Now back on top my matter..broken hearted....
Do you think i should continue trusting this gal or leave her like the guy below said they are many fishes in the oceans but forgot to know we have special fishes ...i love this girl and i have hope of marrying her in future cause we from the same state ENUGU am from NSUKKA though grew up in lagos the version of my mama say i be igbo and she the hardcore from NKANU..thinking my parent would love such combo increased my hope and dreams in our relationship...
Please suggest ..what do i do no insult please and mature replies...

nigga pliz you are just 23, you got 7 years more till you get to 30 which i think is good mature age to marry

for now its up to you to play along with girl or dump her

i would say keep her for the funny dont take it serious for marriage, a girl/ woman should fight her own battle with exs unless she ask you to tell off the guy, so she had the right to deal with ex quietly until is she had asked you
but if she really loved she would have put your pic on profile to brush away any thoughts of mistrust
but also it inmature to ask someone to put yo pic on their profile

its should happen as natural feeling of loving your partner by putting his pic/her pic yoself than her/him tell you to do so

when i was age i would keep such girl for shagging whether she would see the guy behind me i wouldnt care aslong i was hitting the pusssy

you are just 23 boy enjoy the girls than looking for trust marriage etc

franchasng:
My sister listen, I don't need any lady's money cos God has been so wonderful to me. I used to be a fan of guys marry broke guys and help their family, but not anymore haven seen how our women behave and how they treat broke guys.

I am not broke but I feel the pains of broke guys.

When I see how ladies shower me with love whether fake o or not in real life eh, and I see how they treat broke guys that are more handsome than I am, just because they are broke, it makes me feel bad and just imagine if I was broke how it would have been.

So with time, my mentality has changed.

I just need her to have her own money to be sure she is not just after men's money alone without having money herself cos it's not fair na, haba

I remember how I encouraged most of my childhood friends abroad to marry broke ladies they met in Nigeria and transform their lives but when these guys tell me how most Nigerian ladies abroad swear to remain single for life than to go back to Nigeria to marry any guy and bring him over, I just feel regret cos its not fair. Our ladies are not fair to our guys my sister.

I know a lot of financially successful single ladies who have refused to marry upcoming guys and join effort with them to build a great home but are bent on finding rich guys to marry, and most will end up old and spinsters for life whereas they would have married some ambitious broke guys and help them come up and those guys won't play with them.

So I don't need a dime of her money but she must be my class or even above my level, but will never marry below my financial class as it stands now unless God speaks to me directly and clearly not through any messenger

Meanwhile, I hope u are aware that majority of ladies of today no longer want to cook and keep home for their hubby Most are saying their hubby must be cooking too and be cleaning the house too, so things are changing, u see

i have seen men who went back home to marry a bring over wife and years later they divorce becoz the wife think she now knows better than hubby (nurses ) especially getting wrong advise from already divorced women

then those you mentioned, half they stay becoz they think they owe the hubby becoz he uplifted them from being poor to a better life in the west, sometimes they suffer in silence especially when husband cheats, becoz of that mind of saying he took me from the poverty to here

personal i never trust a woman that is imported for marriage, few are good the rest play decent when you visit while you are away their is a local boy giving her the sexx and eating your money

she plays decent you marry bring her over she studies and thinks you are nolonger her class, then next thing divorce two down the line she bring over that guy she used to shagg

the same done by niaga guy they marry white girls for papers once they get permanent resident they divorce the white girl and marry a naiga girl from home

franchasng:
That's why I said they can only deceive mumu guys who are not enlightened my brother.

Permit me to brag a bit: I know virtually everything in this life. Sometimes I marvel at the level of things I know

I know about space explorations u may think I am a NASA astronaut.

I know about things happening in all countries of the world u may think I have lived decades in all the countries.

I know virtually everything about military and war around the world.

I know so much about stock trading; Nasdaq, Dow Jones, NYSE, etc that u may think I work with NYSE.

I know everything happening in the leadership and politics of virtually every country that I can tell you unheard things about every country off hand without consulting internet or book.

Literature nkor, hmm don't go there.

Oil and gas sector, let me shut up

Transport and haulage sector

Ecommerce and startups

Programming, coding, etc

Offline trading business

Car importation importation from China

With the level of things I know, I can rule any country successfully at my young age

So I doubt if any Lady can fool me seriously unless I decided to ignore.

I know more than FBI, Mosad, KGB, etc.

I always thank God for the high wisdom He bestowed on me....and I always envy the lady I will finally end up marrying cos she is gonna be super lucky

So in summary, its very easy for me to know whether she is doing well financially or not.

And in as much as I don't need a dime from the lady I would marry, I must know her true financial worth and what she truly does for a living and possibly an idea of what she earns, if not the marriage won't hold.

I am the boss, I decide who to marry, when to marry and how to marry. I have paid my dues and so no lady can do shakara for me, na my turn to do shakara now, na God do am

if you knew everything you would be a trillioner, you would be here on nairaland

pannyman:
I drive a 1999 Toyota Camry, V6. A great and truly reliable car. I however noticed about 3 weeks ago one morning that the plastic container that contains the radiator coolant was completely empty. This was rather odd because usually it only depletes at a very slow rate and I used to top it with water like once a month. When I found it empty I topped it with water and later in the evening on my way from work I stopped over at a filling station and bought coolant, drained the little water left in the plastic container and filled it with coolant. Two days later I discovered it was empty again! Very unusual, so I bought coolant and filled up again.

Two days later the coolant dried up and the radiator was short of fluid. I looked everywhere under the bonnet for sign of leakage but there was none. It would have been easy to locate a source of leakage because of the blue colour of the coolant. I took it to the mechanic and he opened the hoses connected to the radiator and bled the fluid and filled the radiator. He was not sure whether it was the thermostat or water pump that is the problem. He asked me to observe it for a while and see whether the problem would persist. The problem has persisted and I have to top up the radiator everyday, old-school style and it's embarrassing. I have a suspicion the water is leaking into the engine.

Please guys, if any of you has experienced this kind of wahala, kindly share your experience and how you overcame it. I intend to take the car back to the mechanic next weekend, but not before my great Nairalanders have given me a clue as to what is causing this loss of water.

PS. The temperature guage does not indicate abnormal temperature or overheating.

maybe you have found a solution already but there is my two cents dont rush in buying a radiator before finding were the leak is from

me being a mechanic, simple investigation goes like this, you buy a UV dye that you pour into coolant system, werever its leaking from the UV dye will show under UV light

this will save you from buying unessary things due to hearsay of how individuals got there out problem solved

what if the leak is not from radiator but other pipes

zaragal:
My thought exactly ooo

chasing away his own shadow

Fumiex:
around August I dreamt a close friend of mine died and by Sept he left this world. October this year I also dreamt of my family mourning and November this year I lost my aunt that is like a mum to me. infact any negative thing I dreamt about always come to pass. I can't forget the fact that I saw all this happening and I couldn't tell anyone. am not the kind of person that open up to people but I still feel guilty about my aunt's death. will opening up to people stopped her from dieing?

may be your are the messenger of death

on a serious note its human nature to feel like than becoz you didnt share the dream.

if your dream had showed you, how to avoid the death of those people then you would feel guilty becoz there was room for them to live than die

in your case there was nothing like that so i dont see your worry

PenGriffey:
An appeal is being made to women to always keep their bodies clean to facilitate smooth love-making sessions with their romantic partners.
A man has recorded the strange experience he had while having s*x with a lady he met last month.
According to him, her body smelt like a rat had died in her for like two weeks and this really caused him hassles during the romantic session. He decided to make a public appeal to other ladies to always practice good and proper hygiene to prevent causing their partners discomfort in bed.
Read his mail sent to a relationship blogger, Joro Olumofin below:

let me play simple detective here, the guy simple said for past few months he has taken home few girls and the hygiene is terrible

to me he either goes to type of place he finds such women or he target certain types of women in general women that gives him easy sex

i might be wrong but it seems targets easy sex girls in bars or clubs and ends up being the last client of the night after the girl had 3 sessions of quick sex

sure how you end up with girls if poor hygiene all the time

GodisGood4321:
For a start, I’m not a gold digger nor am mine looking for someone to take care of my bills.

A little bit about myself. I’m 32 and I’m from a humble background and by the grace of God, my hustle don begins to pay. I'm a graduate and works in a popular oil and gas firm with a monthly take-home of seven-digit. But base on the fact that I'm from a humble background and God don give me breakthrough, I'm supporting my families (siblings) and sometimes friends who are still hustling to establish themselves.

So I am a bit careful to date a lady who is the supporting member of her family as well, otherwise, support responsibilities may fall back on me as the man if one marries such lady. And no matter how much one think he earns, too many dependents can weary one progress and a tree can't make a forest. This engineer my desire to marry a girl from a well-to-do family, even if she doesn't earn much, but her family shouldn't be a liability. I have a reservation of being the ‘look-up-to’ person in my family and as well the ‘look-up-to’ person in a wife family as well. While one may be grateful to God for being able to be looked up to, the pressure of demand/expectation may be overwhelming and could slow one’s progress and one runs the risk of not having who to run to when his own need arises because everyone around has always looked up to you.

But the challenge is to see and get a girl from a well-to-do family is hard. Is either I can't find any or the few I meet always an attitude issue and are hardly submissive. Meanwhile, I have seen decent ladies from a humble background who are equally making some progress in their own right, but i lost interest when I get to know of their family background because of my biased to marry from a well-to-do family. Besides the benefit of not having many dependents by marrying from a well-to-do family, I covert the benefit of been related to in-laws who may have some sort of relevance and influence.

I have this feeling I am settling for less than I originally desired when I see decent ladies but they are from a humble background that I do not advance things with them.

Please, I want to know if this my obsession of marrying from a well-to-do family is reasonable or I am taking it overboard. I just want to hear people opinions about my line of thought and be sure I am still in touch with reality and not just be idealism.

you are too blind to see that, you are the person that you are trying to avoid to marry one day. you said you are supporting your siblings and friends so its ok for you to support your family and friends but the woman you wish to marry shouldnt have family thats needs support from her if she can?

think of it this way right now you are looking after your siblings so its ok if a girl dumps you if she uses your line of thinking ?

OKOATA:
Yeah because they have nothing to offer than their smelly pussies, I hate smelly pussies, I don't eat for days If I smell one. I spit on smelly pussies when I see one. I rather mastubate than fvck a smelly hoe.

its like they got nothing to offer but their are a product of there environment. ie at one time the economy was way better than it is now and men would shower girls with gifts. now the economy is bad and girl are used to be showered with gifts but its now hard to men to spoil the girls and the girls they think there are entitled to be looked after when infact there are not. gifts are apriciation and showing love not entitlement

so now the economy is bad girls measure men's love's for her through how many gifts he gives her

those guys who dont have cash to spare they now dont like girls who are self entitled to gifts becoz like you, you think they got nothing to offer except them wanting gifts all time then the girls too think a men who doesnt offer gifts doesnt love you

Goodlyhrt:
I just noticed that I'm boring the hell outta girl I've been recently talking to. Though she used to enjoy my company but then I'd used up all my bad boy moves and coding techniques I learnt from the internet.

Right now when we meet, after some lil chat I'll end up fiddling with my phone as I've run out of what to say to her.


I feel she is going through hell having to put up with me


NB: Am yet to ask her out asin to be my girl

there is nothing like a boring person,

why becoz your are choosing to do things that you
if your take time to also do things that the person likes then you would find thats person not boring becoz open up and start talking becoz thats his/her likes

so its not about you when you are chatting with people its about them and they do the same to you

Metooreal:
I don't know if this is the right place but I need help on this.

A brief of the issue- I lived with my granma in the village so I know all her siblings and relations. Recently she lost one of her elder sister at a good old age - well over a 100 years.

At the burial I was told one of her elder sisters came there without aso ebi and wore bathroom slippers (my granma's has another elder sister- she's the one who came to her immediate elder sister's burial without aso ebi and with a bathroom slippers).

She has only one son, and grand children. Her son is very poor too and the grand children are well to do but have refused to take care of this woman.

Ask me what is my own headache? They call her witch, this woman is ovee 95years. God really bless them with old age, i heard their granpa lived over 150 years.

If i send my granma money to gives her she won't, but i know she occasionally gives her food.

Secondly, if she dies, my granma will ask me for money to buy cloths and food to do burial ceremony and i have vowed not to be a part of it. I want to use that money my granma will ask then to feed her now.

I have cousins and people i can send to her but i dont want them to know and dont want the woman to know where the help is coming from. If God has spared her life till today, who are humans to call her witch? I have not seen anybody she killed or caused misfortune to.

I want to know how i can send her money monthly till God call her home please. Am so pained now.

The Aso ebi cost only 6k and no body could just maje her happy. Weep weeeeeeppppp. I never knew she don't buy and no one bought for her, i asked after her before the party and i was told she got. All for them to tell me on phone after the burial that she came looking dirty.

I need to know how to send her money without my family knowing and she herself not knowing who is sending her money. If she knows who's doing the favour, she will dance to my house in villa to greet them and ask them to greet me and fire will start so i want to remain anonymous.


Lalasticlala, mynd44, dominique, pleaae help me get a wider read and view, so I can get good information.

am confused or your failing to explain yourself in english

you say she is your granma, but sound distant from her,

can your explain how she is your granma ?

CastedDude:
Report has it that the head referee who officiated the AFCON 2019 qualifying match between Bafana Bafana and Nigeria on Saturday in South Africa - has apologised for the costly mistakes made by officials during the game.

The Gambian football referee identified as Bakary Papa Gassama apologised to the Nigerian team after wrongly denying them two goals due to wrong offside calls, according to a report by OwnGoalNigeria.

Ahmed Musa put through Kelechi Iheanacho who tapped home believing he has given Nigeria the lead but Musa who supplied the pass was judged by the assistant referee as been in an offside position, something which turned out to be wrong after video replays.

In the second half with less than five minutes to go, Musa was once again at the receiving end of another poor referee decision as he was once again flagged offside incorrectly after slotting home what could have given Nigeria all three points.

The game ended 1-1 with Nigeria sealing her passage to next year Africa Cup of Nations but officials of the Nigeria Football Federation ( NFF) still expressed their unhappiness to Gassama over the poor decision which cost Nigeria a win.

Gassama admitted the error and even went a step further by sending his apologies to Musa over the incident although he admitted that such errors are sometimes unavoidable particularly due to the non-availability of the Video Assistant Referee (VAR) .

See more; https://www.nationalhelm.co/2018/11/south-africa-v-nigeria-referee-gassama-admits-mistake-on-offside-calls-against-nigeria.html

no referee will ever apologise doing so will put the game into disrupt, mistakes made by referee i.e s/he not being able to see from viewers point of view via tv through different angles by different camera can
not be reversed especially after the game has ended

remember its not about just play on the field but other industries involved, like at these betting shops how will they deal with reversed discusion on a payout,

diztubdHubby:
Hello Nairalanders... Got home a little tipzy last night and met my wife's elder brother who's getting married by mid January at my place. Myself and my wife and our little daughter live in a room and parlour self contain apt. We've been married for 2 years now, but I noticed my wife is just two close to her brother. Well to the main story. Got home drunk and my wife served me my meal, then we all chatted for sometime. He came from village to buy some of the stuffs for his wedding. Then when it was time to go to bed, wifey was like "where u go sleep" I acted dumb so she asked again, then I said am OK here. Before I can say Jack Robinson, she already brought the other bed and placed in the living room for me. She, her brother and my little girl went into the bedroom. My stomach squirmed when I noticed someone bathing, then I dozed off. Woke up around 1am to the sound of water from the bathroom, so listened to see if someone is just peeing but water ran for almost 10 minutes and I can swear I was hearing hush voices but I can't go there as I may be wrong. But then this morning around 5am she went into the kitchen with her brother to prepare food, while I prep my daughter for school and also getting ready to leave for work. Then around 6:30 she came in as she does the school run. I noticed she has nothing under her night gown... Seriously no panties or bra and this is someone I told that if you want to always remain fresh with me,don't come to bed looking all ready to have sex.. Just put on all like it use to be while we was dating so I can struggle to remove all. I queried her and she was like "erm since I haven't taken my bathe I don't want to use pant as I will have to wash it when I am to bath" I was looking like a fool.

Some months ago, its was all over the news how in her state family members are having carnal knowledge of each other and stuffs like. When we read the story back then... She told me an uncle actually made a pass at her the last time she visited her stated, that she actually had to run to escape his kondo... So since I left for work,I really haven't been myself. Wondering if she's actually having sex with her brother or are they just close. My head is really spinning now I swear down. Pls don't mind my English biko.

1 who is stupid enough to ask were he should sleep in his own home? just go to usual room you always sleep

2 sure that brother in law as no respect for his sister's marriage, how can you sleep on were married sister sleeps with her husband ?

3 revenge is sour, is it the brother in law is getting married son, soon he is married visit him and with his new wife, time to sleep tell his wife you want to sleep on their bed and see if his own wife would find it normal

Escabado:
my is if a girl is coming to my house to pass a Night. Let her come with her tooth brush, towel and night wear . Let her never try to use any of my personal belongings if she trys that she will never visit my house again.like Pls can I use your towel ? Can I wear your boxers I forgot my clothes . Please can I use your toothbrush ? What nonsense . please come with your personal belongings . don't come to piss me off.
I don't mean my main girl friend oo, of course my main girl / wife can even drive my car . I mean all these careless girls wey man fit just invite come house

Guys what's your experience with these girls

let me brake it down to you

1 always have toothbrush for visitors (here UK they sell cheap one in groups of 2s and above)

2 the same applies for bath towels

3 already mentioned its sexy to see your woman in your clothes, especially when she cooking breakfast, though wearing a boxer is weird to me, there is a difference between boxer and shorts, in my world boxers are mens pants unless if you mean boxers as pants

4 you say you dont mean the main girl, the question is back to you, do you tell them that they aint the main girl so they should bring their own toileries? i bet you dont so how should they know when you havent explained to them ?

kolaunited:
Hi nairalanders,
please if on facebook the address locator says someone is in a particular place, how true is that? eg on your facebook timeline you got a message that a friend is in so so place in Lagos, whereas he or she stays in Ibadan.

it depends with one's setting in their facebook settings on your phone eg you can allow facebook to access your location each time you open facebook, so the moment you click check in it will give you suggestion based on the area you are (usually most people turn it off becoz its eats data)

then there is the option to turn off automatic location but manually type the place eg you can say @ London Hethrow Airport so it will tag Londow Hethrow when you are actually in Lagos

with location off you can manually input any place

Slimzjane:
Gud evening guys..
Am 19 years old and i am dating a 32 years old man..I fall in love with him because he is more mature and caring that the other guys i have dated... He is a banker and am a student in 300l, I met him on fb [online].. He is very mature and i respect him alot, well the issue is he want me to get pregant for him..oh i forgot i have been dating for a year plus now..He do say it jokingly before about wanting a baby badly his mate are married and stuff..I told him am not ready am too young...He ask him when am i going to be ready i am 19 for crying out loud..He is financially okay and he take care of me alot, am not just ready and i don't want to loose him..He has been calling and texting me to get the answer am confused i don't want to get pregant and i don't want to loose him...Elders in the house how should i explan to him without him breaking up with me??

technically he is seeing as baby machine, in my world he sees nothing in you accept being being breeding candidate for him

dont confuse someone saying " i want to marry you and be a mother my kids" this statement generally means he is committed ti marry you and have kids

then one who says "have a baby for me " general means he is interested in breeding with you nothing else

EVILFOREST:
So you have been phucking someone's daughter without formal introduction, yet you are here swearing.
.

you are too blind

the girl, has she formally introduced herself to guys's wife ?

morally the three are wrong, but the boyfriend is a lesser devil than her girlfriend dating a married man and married man cheating on wife