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Sports / Re: At Your Age'' Do You Understand How Cricket And Rugby Works... by ZIMDRILL(m): 11:20pm On Sep 02, 2023 |
TimT: what does being african got to do with it ? football is not african the modern football has its roots in UK the reason why soccer is found everywhere is becoz it doesnt require much it can be played anywhere while sports like rugby and cricket needs good green fields and equipment, hence by both colonisation and funding, black would not bother take part in such sports 3 Likes |
Sports / Re: At Your Age'' Do You Understand How Cricket And Rugby Works... by ZIMDRILL(m): 11:08pm On Sep 02, 2023 |
Evestar200: you failed to mention the most important thing when passing the ball to your team mate, your team mate the one recieving the ball has to be at an angle that he is behind the one throwing the ball aka if you are standing with your arms strethed out 180 degrees, and any degree above 180 degree towards your back is considered as proper pass, if you pass from an degree angle 180 degree forwards your front is called a forward pass then called a forward pass its a foul your lose the ball and its given to the opponet If you look carefully every pass in rugby is given to the person behind the one who has the ball 14 Likes 2 Shares |
Sports / Re: At Your Age'' Do You Understand How Cricket And Rugby Works... by ZIMDRILL(m): 10:54pm On Sep 02, 2023 |
TimT: rugby winter sport nope it depends with country rugby and are common sport even in skols in countries like zimbabwe and south african |
Family / Re: What Should Know As You Consider Japa by ZIMDRILL(m): 11:16pm On Jul 14, 2023 |
Ekitibiased: its like that becoz people over work to send money back home fail to have fun while here |
Family / Re: I Stood Up To My Father by ZIMDRILL(m): 4:27pm On Jun 16, 2023 |
DamianDd: you had the right to defend yourself but i think you did it wrongly 1st you should have reminded him that, yes am cam home late but "If raised me well and try me" then you should worry about what people think and say becoz you raised me well 2nd saying you are above 18 you are now challenging him in his own house, you should have not said that 3rd Remind him off all the good he has taught you and how much you have gained from his teaching and gaudiance 4th whether good or bad people will always talk, he doesnt have to live based on what people say but what makes him and his family happy |
Family / Re: Not Eating Your Wife Food!! A Punishment Or What?? by ZIMDRILL(m): 9:52am On Jun 14, 2023 |
homesteady: its stupid concept of a man throwing tuntrams, instead of really talking about the issue And women have been taught to accept the stupid idea No different to a child refusing leave the store becoz mum refused to by a toy s/he likes |
Family / Re: Leaving A Marriage Because He's Not Taking Responsibilities, Make Me Bad? by ZIMDRILL(m): 1:21am On Jun 07, 2023 |
Mimicle101: You say woman nowadays are not able too carry the pressure of family responsibility Have you asked yourself who made them to be that way ? Men we are the ones who chance charm them by spoiling them during dating and in marriage she asked to stop working because you want to look more responsible etc So now we see them as spoiled little brats but the question is who spoiled them . |
Family / Re: My Uncle's Looking For Trouble by ZIMDRILL(m): 3:58pm On Jun 06, 2023 |
Nazgul: you missed my point, my point is not about him building a house in the city, but even in the village cant he have his own land ? |
Family / Re: My Uncle's Looking For Trouble by ZIMDRILL(m): 5:48am On Jun 06, 2023 |
Nazgul: i respect your view on the subject but i challenge your view, why wait for him to die to occupy the house than working harder to have his own house and create legacy that he can pass on to his own kids. Sounds evil to simply wait for someone to die inorder to inherit something from them Its nice that the property has been passed on generation to generation, waiting for someone to die in order to inherit, sounds like the person that is waiting to inherit is lazy type, work and have your own property |
Family / Re: Should I Meet Her Biological Father Before Paying Bride-Price To Her Step-father by ZIMDRILL(m): 10:58pm On Jun 05, 2023 |
hardasan: 1 was trying to make you understand that both our african and western tradition require some monies to be paid or spent 2 i agree on exorbitant amount there are wrong, but do we have to throw away our culture becoz of few rotten apple ? 3 pride price should be and must be there, let uproot those families that makes it look bad |
Family / Re: My Uncle's Looking For Trouble by ZIMDRILL(m): 7:19pm On Jun 05, 2023 |
Failure2019: there information i that is missing here, your grandpa left you a house through his will, and apparently your uncle is living there, where is your father? or his other brothers/sisters You mentioned your family which family is this, your fathers? how man are they or you mean your own family 2 Likes 1 Share |
Family / Re: Should I Meet Her Biological Father Before Paying Bride-Price To Her Step-father by ZIMDRILL(m): 4:37pm On Jun 05, 2023 |
hardasan: i get your point but you are failing to understand where tradition/custom, law and church meet In most cases a church wedding comes after traditional marriage or registy of marriage, unless if your church and the pastor are certified to conduct registry marriages Do you know the difference between registry and the ceremony ? |
Family / Re: Should I Meet Her Biological Father Before Paying Bride-Price To Her Step-father by ZIMDRILL(m): 2:35pm On Jun 05, 2023 |
hardasan: even a traditional white wedding does the same unfortunately many people are abusing the these traditions |
Family / Re: Should I Meet Her Biological Father Before Paying Bride-Price To Her Step-father by ZIMDRILL(m): 8:34pm On Jun 04, 2023 |
hardasan: i agree that cultute is dynamic and moves woth time, the dynamic is the change from the past, not knowing and understanding yout past leaves you confused in the present time |
Family / Re: Please I Need A Romantic Name To Call My Husband. by ZIMDRILL(m): 8:08pm On Jun 04, 2023 |
melonsgroup: are you serious ? Usually nicknames come through observing the character of a person and name them after something u see in them 9 Likes |
Family / Re: Should I Meet Her Biological Father Before Paying Bride-Price To Her Step-father by ZIMDRILL(m): 10:14pm On Jun 03, 2023 |
hardasan: a white wedding is a traditional wedding to western and eastern europe so its equall a traditional wedding as our own cultural, tribal or traditional african one, the only difference is in the western world it has been incoperated into One were registery and wedding can be done at the same time aka registry and ceremony Then i mentioned the ring under western tradition were the ring cost a bit of money and i compared it with part of bride price money or whatever As for why 50 tubers etc, you need to search on what was basic living before modern world, marrying off your daughter was also loosing two hands that would have helped in ploughing the fields etc, marrying off you get compersented and also in law bring feed to each that day and other days to come, that were this concept of all food staff etc And also it showed the hustle skill of the son-on law and his family However the modern life has made marrying a very commercial transaction were some family are trully seeing daughters Some people like youself are now focusing, on those who have abused the traditional marrying ways, while abuse is there, their still other people who are still reasonable not greedy |
Family / Re: I Think My Family Don't Like Where My Gf Works by ZIMDRILL(m): 7:24pm On Jun 03, 2023 |
LittleBigDick: not all jobs shape the character of a person, african especially we associate some jobs with character of person before really knowing the person, saloon is one of them However, you the power to influence/ encourage to climb up the ladder in terms of jobs, unless she finds it her calling and passion |
Family / Re: Should I Meet Her Biological Father Before Paying Bride-Price To Her Step-father by ZIMDRILL(m): 4:40pm On Jun 03, 2023 |
hardasan: yes it, lock at this a white wedding it is western and easter tradition In the western tradition of a wedding, the guy buy a ring, not a cheap ring No thats equally to may be half of the bride price of an africa traditonal pride price there are 3 problem with us africans 1 at 1st a white wedding was seen and used a sign to show off how wealth you are, compared to african traditional one 2 we have made to believe by the coloners that our own traditional wedding are nothing but equally there are both traditional, the only difference is that a white wedding can held with in-coperation with laws aka registering 3 Most african we know little of the actual white wedding tradition, we only capture the ceremony with knowing what really happens here is the link to understand a typical western traditional white wedding https://www.bridesdiary.com.au/planning-your-wedding/articles/246/wedding-budget-etiquette-who-pays-for-what |
Family / Re: As An Only Son How I Feel Knowing A Great Pile Of Inheritance Waiting For Me by ZIMDRILL(m): 11:57pm On Jun 02, 2023 |
xin5: you are in mature those who usually inherit, blood and swear of others, without their achievement to show off usually end up blowing the inheritance simply because they lack the sense of budgeting and mananging things and are reckless becoz they never learnt fundermental through managing their own things |
Family / Re: Should I Meet Her Biological Father Before Paying Bride-Price To Her Step-father by ZIMDRILL(m): 11:08pm On Jun 02, 2023 |
hardasan: i respect your opinion and we differ thats fine but the honest truth most people find it hard, ho go ahead and marry without parents approval Dont get me wrong am not in support of deadbeat dad behaviour |
Family / Re: Should I Meet Her Biological Father Before Paying Bride-Price To Her Step-father by ZIMDRILL(m): 7:41pm On Jun 02, 2023 |
hardasan: Fair enough thats your view on the subject but ask yourself why most people dont feel comfortable, when there is no parents approval of there wife to be or husband to be ? Some call it approval and blessing, from parents |
Family / Re: Should I Meet Her Biological Father Before Paying Bride-Price To Her Step-father by ZIMDRILL(m): 4:18pm On Jun 02, 2023 |
wy2000: in our culture, before the man would own the child, now things have changed you both own the child, i guess this is to with modern life of school etc where both must contribute to raising the child, whether separated or not |
Family / Re: Should I Meet Her Biological Father Before Paying Bride-Price To Her Step-father by ZIMDRILL(m): 4:15pm On Jun 02, 2023 |
hardasan: we are saying almost the same thing though there is a slight difference Where i came from regardless that the step father was raised the child, aslong the biological father is alive and their relationship was known, he is notified or invited if not his relatives eg his sister The invitation gives a chance to the son in law to know the biological father. Then if the girl was raised by either the mum alone or step father, thr bride price goes the mums family, then if the mum's family wants to give a token of appriciation the step father is given something The biological father if he has not paid bride price for the mum he gets nothing, he is given something for is turn up. if he had paid bride price he is also given something but greater compared to that of not paying The reason why the father is informed ot invited its due to what africans beliefs to say each family has it own family curse etc, so lets say your wife start to have those curse/family spiritual things, who is gonna solve it for you ifs its said its from your fathers side ? Your step father wont be able to sort it out for you, its need your bloodline relatives. The step father will be always appriciated by the daughter she raised, bride price its one day event, whereas the girl has more year to bless the step father |
Family / Re: Should I Meet Her Biological Father Before Paying Bride-Price To Her Step-father by ZIMDRILL(m): 7:21pm On Jun 01, 2023 |
PrimadonnaO: as in what ? |
Family / Re: Should I Meet Her Biological Father Before Paying Bride-Price To Her Step-father by ZIMDRILL(m): 7:20pm On Jun 01, 2023 |
mastermaestro: the culture punishes a absent father, if he didnt pay bride price for the girl's mother, on the day of the girl's marriage the father is invited but he wont recieve the bride price as the family of the mother of the girl will claim there own bride price therefore the father of the girl walks with nearly nothing but the most important thing the son in law would have seen and meant the biological father of the girl |
Family / Re: Should I Meet Her Biological Father Before Paying Bride-Price To Her Step-father by ZIMDRILL(m): 7:15pm On Jun 01, 2023 |
hardasan: i think you missed my point, the father is invited but he doesnt get much of the bride price, if he didnt pay bride price of the mum, on the daughter of his daughter'w bride price, the father's in laws claims their bride price therefore the father of the girl only get a token for being the biological father the rest goes to the parents of the woman (who are the maternal grant parents of the girl) |
Family / Re: Should I Meet Her Biological Father Before Paying Bride-Price To Her Step-father by ZIMDRILL(m): 12:29am On Jun 01, 2023 |
Kennie28: where i came from, if the man didnt pay the bride price for the child mother, when the child get married the father is invited to witness the ceremony, but he wont get the bride price of his daughter, when the son in law pay the bride price to the father, the parents of the mother now collect their bride price from hims (aka the father Therefore in simple terms, "you didnt pay for the child's mother bride price, now you wont get the bride price of your daughter, its goes to pay for the child's mother bride price So idea works in two ways one, whether you were raised by a step father from day you were born, bride price should be received by your bloodline, your father but if your father is owing the bride price, his own in laws will demand it therefor the father will walk with just a token but the rest has been grabbed by the in laws, ad for the step father she shouldnt recieve bride price for bloodline which is not his, no matter how much he contributed to the child Then the reason they want the father to be there on the bride price day its to do with spirituality, whereby through either traditional worship or christaing, its about the unification of those two biological parents of the child, eg in african spirituality your ancestors/forefathers are told that out child is married etc, a step father can not do that becoz there have no blood or spiritual/forefathers link Remember in african spirituality there are problems were one is asked to bring biological parents, it can mom or daddy's size, with a step father how is going to do that ? Step father is usually appriciated by the person he raised 4 Likes |
Family / Re: Should I Meet Her Biological Father Before Paying Bride-Price To Her Step-father by ZIMDRILL(m): 1:19pm On May 31, 2023 |
MetaBroadband: this is complex but it differs tradition of every tribe etc where i came from son in law can ONLY pay bride price to the biological father in law or the women's family. if the child was raised by the mother alone, the biological father will be present at the bride price day to witness and given a little token, but the large sum is given to the mum and her brothers In my culture a step father can not represent a living biological father not matter the reason they separated from the mother and whether deadbeat. In my culture, if the father was absent when the girl was growing up and when she is getting married the biological father is invited to charge bride and the same time they will charge him for being an absent father. if he had not paid bride price, they will charge him pride price, meaning instead of getting pride price from him daughter it will go pay the bride price of the girl's mother For spiritual reason you pay bride price to the biological father In such situations your own family (son in laws) must guide you in finding the biological father or or his relatives, otherwise you pay pride price twice Back to the story, lets say he pays bride price to the step father and in the long run the couple fights or have problems in house, which family will intervene to help ? the step father's family ? but if pride price is paid to the biological father its easy to seek help from relevent people from the biological father's family there are related by blood. 21 Likes 1 Share |
Family / Re: Alternatives To Spanking Children And Dealing With Rebellious Tweens And Teens, by ZIMDRILL(m): 2:07am On May 28, 2023 |
KanwuliaExtra: i thought i were going to share the alternative As someone who grown up in africa and from an average family, average i mean without toys and then moved to the west in my very late 20s i have observed few things that can be used as alternative In africa, deny the child to go play with others and explain the basic of action and consequences (the problem with most african parent we assume that kids have good memory in remembering do and donts) not realising thats kids are kids they quickly forget hence u beat him/her now 5mins later i can quickly bribe him/her with cuddle and they forget about the beating, my point there is a certain age they repeat the same mistake over and over nomatter how many times you have spoke to them about it. For those with toys and gadgets take those away as punishment eh play station the mobile phone etc, if the tv is connected to cable tv disconnect Take away things that they love For me my time, mu gadget was a brick, push it imagining that it is a bus the disdavantage with our parents was they could take away the brick, i could always find another one, but being stopped from playing with others was a killer Todays kids take away access to being online or those gadgets but we shouldnt reward them for things that there supposed to do as part of learning responsibility eg washing, cooking cleaning etc 2 Likes |
Family / Re: Is It Ok For A Guy To Be Living With His Parents At Age 32-39 ? by ZIMDRILL(m): 12:23am On May 28, 2023 |
JILF: this is a sensetive issue to most people but simple in logic to those who want to reason without the bias they have been fed by both accepted social norm and what low income family would say. Then few impact if applied blindly 1 Regardless of your parent being low in come or middleclass, if they teach you to save to buy land or a house while at home, regardless of your age (excluding someone who is already married) then there is nothing wrong to be at living with parents at 33 while you save your own money to have your own place The problem is that most parents who chase their kids away using the age reason or not are due to finance and accomodation, usually if you are contributing financially and parents are benefiting they wouldnt want to you leave and accomodation this usually due not having enough space to accomodate a grown up man, its usually easy squeeze young children in one room, its hard to squeeze in grown up who are also sexual active. Hence you are encourage to leave to have your own personal space and freedom but its not like they want you start learning life on your own, but its that sharing a small space with someone who is grown up 2 From a middleclass family, children are usually encourage to save while at home, so that they raise money for mortagage or buying land and by the time they leave home, they have enough for the deposit of a house, hense no need to ask you to leave when you can save while at parents home, usually middle class you are not squeezes in a tiny space. There encourage not to go out there and suffer when there is neatly room for you 3 The age mentioned 32-39 is not only good when you are married, usually they will be a clush between your wife and your mother. This is your mothers territory and she wants things her own way, its easier for the man to cope with his mother becoz he was raised by her and knows how to cope with her but its not the same story for the wife. So to avoid drama you are better off living alone with yout wife somewhere 4 Most people who have been groomed to think that living with yout parents at certain age is not good so we apply it to everyone instead of taking individual circumstances and consider if its good or not. Yes there are certain condition that usually creates disaster eg when you are married 5 Some parents want you to leave becoz they think being home will make not to worry or prepare or have your own place or home, fair point but i would argue that if the child was raised with the teaching of your having your own place, then what changed him? usually as parents we spend time buy expensive toys on our children instead of teaching them the right steps of life. When they fail due to our faults we simply blame the child 6 Conclusion there is no clear answer, we are all individuals with different circumstances, your circumstances apply to you as an individual and every parents attitude towards the subject differs from family to family, from social class to social class etc 3 Likes 2 Shares |
Family / Re: Why Do We Ignore Poor Loved Ones To Die, Then Start Contributing For Burial? by ZIMDRILL(m): 8:06am On May 25, 2023 |
Darlingme: like i said life and family drama are not simple as ABCD 14 Likes |
Family / Re: Does This Make Me A Polygamist by ZIMDRILL(m): 7:14am On May 25, 2023 |
CoolNL: being married to more than one wive at the same time 4 Likes |
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