safarigirl: Being born into a society such as the Nigerian one connites certain things for a female.

From the day you can tell your right from your left, you're basically taught to be subservient to men. You're told that your place is in the kitchen and your brothers' place is in front of the television. Most of all, you're told that your only purpose in this world, is to fulfill the desires of some dude, serve him and bear his children. You are not to aspire for anything more and failure to live up to these expectations means failure as a person.

Well, this thread was inspired by a certain thread that was on FP today:

https://www.nairaland.com/1911041/why-nigerian-girls-should-not

Now, the stupidity of this thread is baffling. Basically, it's some lady telling females to settle for less. Telling us that we do not deserve the best and we shouldn't make any efforts to aspire for such because that would be foolhardy.

I honestly sympathise with her that she was unable to get the man of her desires, and eventually chose to settle for Plan B, who in fact was not what she desired, but as they say, when the desirable is not available, the available becomes desirable.

Time and again on Nairaland you find numerous chauvinists telling women basically that they have no opinion, telling us that we ought to dance skelewu because one of these rare species called 'men' looked upon us with pity and decided to marry us. And for those poor souls like Rita Dominic, Linda Ikeji and Genevieve Nnaji who are yet to be honored witha wedding ring? They should keep praying the rosary and hope they don't die 'marriageless'

Marriage is the be all and end all of a woman, therefore, she must settle for a raggamuffin if she hasn't found a gentleman at the ripe 'OLD' age of 27. Once you're through with University, your next bus stop should be a man's house.

Many women have ended up in loveless, frustrating marriages after settling for less, because all your friends got married after University doesn't mean you must marry at that time. Don't be the one whose story ends with 'Had I Known'

Feel free to live a little, keep your head on your shoulders, walk with your chin up, if you want your man to be as tall as Lebron James, don't settle for Tom Cruise, if you want him to be as charming as Antonio Banderas, don't settle for Al Pacino, if you want him to be as fit as CR7, don't settle for Mr. Ibu. If you must settle for less, let it be reasonable, don't go from a Lebron to a Kevin Hart because you're 'getting old and all your mates are married" no be who marry first dey happy pass.

Even the bible says "ask and it shall be given unto you" so if you tell God "I will manage..." He will bless you with a 'manageable' man.

God bless you as you settle with the best

safarigirl: Being born into a society such as the Nigerian one connites certain things for a female.

From the day you can tell your right from your left, you're basically taught to be subservient to men. You're told that your place is in the kitchen and your brothers' place is in front of the television. Most of all, you're told that your only purpose in this world, is to fulfill the desires of some dude, serve him and bear his children. You are not to aspire for anything more and failure to live up to these expectations means failure as a person.

Well, this thread was inspired by a certain thread that was on FP today:

https://www.nairaland.com/1911041/why-nigerian-girls-should-not

Now, the stupidity of this thread is baffling. Basically, it's some lady telling females to settle for less. Telling us that we do not deserve the best and we shouldn't make any efforts to aspire for such because that would be foolhardy.

I honestly sympathise with her that she was unable to get the man of her desires, and eventually chose to settle for Plan B, who in fact was not what she desired, but as they say, when the desirable is not available, the available becomes desirable.

Time and again on Nairaland you find numerous chauvinists telling women basically that they have no opinion, telling us that we ought to dance skelewu because one of these rare species called 'men' looked upon us with pity and decided to marry us. And for those poor souls like Rita Dominic, Linda Ikeji and Genevieve Nnaji who are yet to be honored witha wedding ring? They should keep praying the rosary and hope they don't die 'marriageless'

Marriage is the be all and end all of a woman, therefore, she must settle for a raggamuffin if she hasn't found a gentleman at the ripe 'OLD' age of 27. Once you're through with University, your next bus stop should be a man's house.

Many women have ended up in loveless, frustrating marriages after settling for less, because all your friends got married after University doesn't mean you must marry at that time. Don't be the one whose story ends with 'Had I Known'

Feel free to live a little, keep your head on your shoulders, walk with your chin up, if you want your man to be as tall as Lebron James, don't settle for Tom Cruise, if you want him to be as charming as Antonio Banderas, don't settle for Al Pacino, if you want him to be as fit as CR7, don't settle for Mr. Ibu. If you must settle for less, let it be reasonable, don't go from a Lebron to a Kevin Hart because you're 'getting old and all your mates are married" no be who marry first dey happy pass.

Even the bible says "ask and it shall be given unto you" so if you tell God "I will manage..." He will bless you with a 'manageable' man.

God bless you as you settle with the best

Kachisbarbie: The lady never said we should settle for less - I guess y'all misunderstood her...she meant, we shouldn't be blinded by physical looks, sometimes marriage goes beyond the physique...just marry someone you wanna wake up to everyday (and vice-versa)...that's just it
-Never settle for less - always settle for the best, but then we can't satisfactorily define less/best...no single human out there is less

I think the problem we have these days arises from poor comprehension...the lady used words like- Obsessed, Most...she wasn't in anyway speaking in an affirmative, even though her points came out harsh

... why is there so much pressure/focus on the female folks and their choices in life?...I just don't gerrit
-they say 'marriage' is overhyped, yet it is one topic that gets so much attention...let it slide pls

P.S : The fact that you called her post 'stupeed' is unprofessional and...I don't know what else to call it... ...we can't all be of the same school of thought - respect her own reasoning.
-If you have to counter her, go back to her post, read/understand it properly...then counter her.

how exactly, would you come online and call someones' husband a PLAN-B, and an available that became desirable?? Jeez...I know this is a forum, but before you 'submit'...take a moment to review your choice of words...Thanks

100Cents:
God punish all the gold digging ladies. All the men you have wrecked with your lying tongues and pretences will hunt you later.. Keep searching for Mr. Right. He has already passed you by when you treated him as dung..

Nonsense..

ochon: I'm still wondering why the OP in the thread that lead to the birthing of this thread received so much flak for her thread. Did you bashers read that thread at all? As in, read it slowly, assimilating the post word by word? Because it seems to me most of y'all didn't get what the OP(on that thread) was saying.

Safarigirl, Onyiridike NEVER said ladies should settle for less, she never did!! She said ladies should not be "obsessed" with men's height as a PRIORITY for marriage. You need to check the meaning of the word "obsessed." She's basically saying don't miss out on a good man because he didn't meet up to your "height scale" you've made a MUST criteria for a man you will marry. And she wasn't making it a must, she's just giving an advice. You can choose to STICK to your choice or not, your cup of tea. She talked about missing out on a good and successful man because she listened to naysayers discouraging her even though she liked him.

What that lady is trying to say, is "sometimes you've got to compromise" on certain things. She never said "settle for less." They are entirely two different meanings (I'll explain with a former post of mine from my former diary later on in this post). The truth is, You, I and everyone out there MUST "compromise" at one certain time/stage in our lives. It's a must!!

"Compromising" doesn't mean settling for less. Growing up (even now we're all grown), we all dreamt of a good life, a life of riches and affluence. A life where we'd have to cross our legs on a couch, eat all day and live like kings. A life where we have mansions, drive the poshiest cars, date the finest men/women. A life where we're paid in 6 figures. All these are wishes/dreams. But guess what? At the end of the day, few get to have it such way, majority will end up "compromising" and living their lives as they see it while still hustling to make it big. Most of us dream to be a don like Mike Adenuga. But guess what? Most of us will never get to live that life. So we will work and make sure we are "at least" successful to enjoy the basic amenities of life. It's called "compromising" not "settling for less."

Before I explain with a diary update of mine about what "compromising" and "settling for less" means, let me paint a clear picture with this example. Most of us, if not all, wants to get paid handsomely from their first job; say N200K per month. That's the general wishes. But how many of us get to find such jobs? What we've at the end of the day is people "compromising" and going for the moderately-paying job while seeking for a better paying job. Such people had to compromise to build up their work experience and get better jobs in the future. Which fresh graduate that dreamt of getting paid "N150K" a month will see a "N90K" paying job for a month, and say "no o, I must not settle for less, I must stay unemployed till i get a N150K paying job?" Your guess is as good as mine.

Now to explain what "compromising" and "settling for less" means, here's an excerpt from a diary I used to keep.



P.S: Your issue about the stigma women face in Nigeria has nothing to do with the former thread. This is a whole new discussion which you should bring up in another thread for us to trash it out. And yes, I believe women are facing some stigma when it comes to marriage in Nigeria, but that's another topic entirely.

100Cents: Finally, in the end, you will have only yourself to blame...

Since you are a trophy who deserves free food, free ride, expensive dates and BIS/recharge card for doing absolutely nothing. Please do not settle for less.

The way our young ladies carry themselves shows that marriage is not their ultimate goal but scouting for the richest, most handsome and most successful man in the society who is willing enough to pay the imaginary value she has placed on her love.

These sort of ladies do not take corrections for any wrong. They are always right and the last thing she expects from you, her date, is saying that what she did didn't go down well with you, instantly her mind tells her, " it is time to dump mike for John ".

Some of them go as far as dating every single guy who says hi to them seeing him as a potential maga to be kept on the ever long list of those under her false promise of, " I will come and see you ". Because he is a potential goldmine and will serve a future purpose at a future date. This keeps the stu.pid gullible man calling and sending recharge card to make sure he out performs or outsmarts any other competitor for the elusive girl. It is all a game. But it ends in confusion. It takes deceiving oneself first to be able to deceive others..

God punish all the gold digging ladies. All the men you have wrecked with your lying tongues and pretences will hunt you later.. Keep searching for Mr. Right. He has already passed you by when you treated him as dung..

Nonsense..

safarigirl: Being born into a society such as the Nigerian one connites certain things for a female.

From the day you can tell your right from your left, you're basically taught to be subservient to men. You're told that your place is in the kitchen and your brothers' place is in front of the television. Most of all, you're told that your only purpose in this world, is to fulfill the desires of some dude, serve him and bear his children. You are not to aspire for anything more and failure to live up to these expectations means failure as a person.

Well, this thread was inspired by a certain thread that was on FP today:

https://www.nairaland.com/1911041/why-nigerian-girls-should-not

Now, the stupidity of this thread is baffling. Basically, it's some lady telling females to settle for less. Telling us that we do not deserve the best and we shouldn't make any efforts to aspire for such because that would be foolhardy.

I honestly sympathise with her that she was unable to get the man of her desires, and eventually chose to settle for Plan B, who in fact was not what she desired, but as they say, when the desirable is not available, the available becomes desirable.

Time and again on Nairaland you find numerous chauvinists telling women basically that they have no opinion, telling us that we ought to dance skelewu because one of these rare species called 'men' looked upon us with pity and decided to marry us. And for those poor souls like Rita Dominic, Linda Ikeji and Genevieve Nnaji who are yet to be honored witha wedding ring? They should keep praying the rosary and hope they don't die 'marriageless'

Marriage is the be all and end all of a woman, therefore, she must settle for a raggamuffin if she hasn't found a gentleman at the ripe 'OLD' age of 27. Once you're through with University, your next bus stop should be a man's house.

Many women have ended up in loveless, frustrating marriages after settling for less, because all your friends got married after University doesn't mean you must marry at that time. Don't be the one whose story ends with 'Had I Known'

Feel free to live a little, keep your head on your shoulders, walk with your chin up, if you want your man to be as tall as Lebron James, don't settle for Tom Cruise, if you want him to be as charming as Antonio Banderas, don't settle for Al Pacino, if you want him to be as fit as CR7, don't settle for Mr. Ibu. If you must settle for less, let it be reasonable, don't go from a Lebron to a Kevin Hart because you're 'getting old and all your mates are married" no be who marry first dey happy pass.

Even the bible says "ask and it shall be given unto you" so if you tell God "I will manage..." He will bless you with a 'manageable' man.

God bless you as you settle with the best

kilokeys: did i read everything?. definitely not..

i believe in equal rights but different responsibilities

its simple

i go buy fuel for d gen, u do d dishes

i watch tv with my hommies, u gossip at the salon

i pay the bills, u cater for d kids

if d Queen Bee , drones , the worker bee are keen on feminism the bee colony is doomed.

No honey

if u like no marry get belle o.. when a field (ur womb) is uncultivated, bush (fibroid) go grow there..