₦airaland Forum

Thylord:
That one na true,calabar and akwa ibom girls na bomb o.i don blow one ogoja girl b4 her name na esther o boy up till today i never recieve that kind fruk for my life again,that girl really set my waist for me.

SalomonKane:
So you're telling us your husband did not pay your bride price when he came asking for your hand in marriage?

I want to believe you stood firm and look your father in th eyes and tell him your husband won't pay a dime on your head, neither will he bring the traditional gifts ascribe when he declared his intent to marry you?

lezz:
Another taradiddle from no one else but Coco herself.

It's a waste of digital ink reasserting you have always been pro-divorce and the institution of marriage means little to you.

Men are the founders and custodians of culture and tradition and it's our prerogative to change and alter it while you opt for triffle claptrap and blackmail.

You have never seen life beyond your feminist-binoculars. So you advocate that marriage be actualised by fücking and kissing?

Even in courtship men have always brought gifts as a symbolic gesture for the women they love. And most families, spearheaded by the fathers have always returned the bride price taking only a pinch of it as a mark of good will.

Coco, Men have always frowned at usurious and expensive marital requirements, but advocating that bride price be abolished, when we all know majority of families demand only a token only bears credence that you're uncomfortable with yourself.

Real women are comfortable with reasonable bride price, women like you who are covered with false airs and postiche are always without any sense of culture and tradition.

If your community (hello Byvan03) demand for keke napep and sewing machines and all the wrappers assorted for the women in your village, mine don't .

cococandy:
Surprisingly guys are the one who want to uphold the practice of bride price. Even though they sometimes claim it is exorbitant.
And not surprisingly you're the ones who bring it up when you want mock women. "After I paid your bride price" bla bla bla. Most guys I've come across in this forum bring it up as avenue to mock women whenever the issues of equal treatment being discussed.

Does it take Einstein's IQ to deduce that the only reason why men want it continued is so that you can have something to hold over the woman for the rest of her life? Not that you care so much about culture. You only care about culture when it's the one that massages your egos and put women in a secondary position.

You and OP and the rest of you dudes should spare us your pseudo concern for 'our culture'. We know what you really care about. your fragile egos.

LadyOfgrace:
I love the idea of my husband being flogged a hundred strokes though, makes a lot of sense

postmann:
The ancestors are full of wisdom no doubt. Theirs was pure, naked wisdom. They walked closer with the gods and learned firsthand.All the best books on wisdom were written by them. Theirs was an imperfect world too. But if we allowed most of their values to prevail, we would be safer.




That comparison is most unfortunate. And it must have been birthed from a mind conditioned to think negatively by prevailing circumstances.

It is manly to fight and earn a woman. Not as a property but as an act of being able to take care of her.

And yes, a woman belongs to her father. In marriage contraction, bride price is a form of gratitude or appeasement to her father and her father's people.



There's honour when a man recognises the fact that his woman is priceless and that if she actually was to be sold, she definitely couldn't be bought. The bridal list of requirements and process may be flawed in some climes, but then again, men who know how valuable their women are will go for it bringing honour to their women, she's worth it and more.






Even after the bride price is paid, even after several years, the process can still be reversed with the bride price returned. It was never a matter of buying and selling as the antagonists would like everyone to believe.

It is simply a matter of symbolic traditional requirements for man and spirit.

byvan03:
Okay ooo, to each his own. A symbolic item like calabash, cowries e.t.c will serve as better price. I don't see anything symbolic about goat, yams, kolanuts and a few change. The term " price " is even worrying, very commercial . One will have to stick it out for this life time,i guess some things never change.

chojo3000:
Really nigga?

amtaken:
I know you are a female. That's all I can say for now. Princess.

Yieldings:
Your husband has a high sex drive, which is why he wants to do it everyday. It also shows he's attracted to you, which is a good thing. It might also be his way of showing he loves you, as men aren't so good with verbalizing those words. It wouldn't be a good idea to turn him down because he might then turn to porn, masturbation and of course, other women for sex. Speak with him again and tell him you love him and want to continue making him happy daily, but that you would also like him to be doing one thing for you everyday that you need, that would also make you happy: a house chore, helping you with the kids, cooking you breakfast or dinner, giving you a massage when the kids are asleep, or whatever else you need from him that day. This way you're both doing one thing for each other everyday, even if his own is the same everyday.

closerange:
I looked to see whether some smart fella was going to reply you but none did, so here goes....
For an argument to make sense, one has to be consistent, consistency here implies that we stick to the subject matter and not deviate...
Now the 0p opined that the issue of bridepricee ought to be reconsidered if the girl is used up, my friend up there even made the job easier by stating the significance of brideprice which is purity..... Now since the girl isn't so pure after all, isn't it right we forget about the brideprice and just move on?
Now your point about whether the man is pure himself fails under logical scrutiny because as far as I know, women are not required to pay anything for the man....
The best way out of this conundrum should be men paying bride price for the pure ladies while ladies pay same for the pure man (since you are suddenly interested in male purity)....
And in a situation where we are both impure, as is most often case, nobody gets to pay anything....
Do you have anything against this perfect arrangement?

Hadarms:
I feel your grievances, friend, especially when subsequently what a man paid heavily for is not valuable and worthy enough as it turns out. But I would ask, do we pay brideprice for some kind of sensual rewards or to honour the woman we so heartily love no matter her flaws, weaknesses and shortcomings? Perhaps we do this to honour ourselves, our family, our coming children and the word of God?

While I vehemently subscribe to the fact that he who reaps seed deserves it as much as he who reaps weed, I wouldn't nonetheless neglect how unique and remarkable staunch love can be in the transition of weed to seed, overlooking the flaws, weaknesses and past actions.

I should say, if brideprice is a determinant of marriage, and marriage is of love, brideprice is therefore a determinant of love.

And what is love? Isn't it the putting of past mistakes behind each other?

crackhaus:
Lol, two steps never do you?

Seriously though, with those two steps alone the stage is set. The thing with matters like this is that it is more a mental/psychological thing than it is physical.

The way a 3yr old child already knows which of her two parents will melt and give her anything she wants once she starts crying loud enough.
Personally, that one doesn't work for me at all...and as my mom will always say "crying neva kill pikin before".

It's the same with adults - people (male/female) just subconsciously know who they can get to do what they want whenever they want.

thorpido:
Everyone who has a child suffers for it?


I know you guys are thinking about people who are poor,can barely feed themselves and have kids but I was talking about people who are capable and want their offsprings.Noone should deny them that.

thorpido:
People must procreate.There's a limit to holding off being pregnant.People want to wed and have babies and not everyone will wait till they see 6 figures.

pavlovt:
It is not compulsory to take his advice and as a matter of fact his message on this subject is for specific people - his church leaders. Come to think of it isn't of serious concern to see the rate at which divorce is on the increase in our today society. Do you think couple just wake up one day and divorce. It is all these issues that cumulated to cause hovoc to the marriage even some pastor do not see divorce as a big deal.
On the jobless aspect, people should understand that it is not until you start earning in million that you are gainfully employed, make sure you are not idle there are lot of things to do in a legitimate way to earn money.

oloyede252:
hmm.you have a point but at the end I still don't get you.

tobex23:
Oh my!! That's wonderful sir, yes, concerning the 3 characteristics you listed, he has all in abundance...

Thank you very much Sir.
We at teamPhotoshoot remains grateful.


Just a reminder, the voting comes up on:
Date: 06/08/2016(Saturday)
Venue: fashion section.

tobex23:
Hello Sir, please sir, can I have a minute of your time Sir? Please, the Mr Nairaland competition ends on Saturday. Please if you don't mind Sir, could you vote photoshoot? Sir?

crackhaus:
But isn't this just the problem?
What he sees as 'hurt' in his wife is a fugazzi, it isn't real.

Saying NO to someone doesn't hurt them in the way you're interpreting it (as in, devastation) - what they actually feel is disappointment for not getting what they want.

Which is why I noted he may have actually got past that point where he can realize that refusing his wife something that panders to her selfish desires does not 'hurt' her - she would definitely get over it if she were normal but we have seen already that this woman is far from normal, which brings us back to the point being how he has given her way too much in inches, miles, and km...she's now working on light-years.

The next step after learning to say NO is to not let the NO or what he percieves to be 'hurt', tear his heart apart.

nairalandbuzz:
Nlders,

I really dont know what is wrong with me and would like someone to help me in overcoming it... I have this fear whenever there are signs that my wife is pregnant... Even during our last baby, I was so sick when she was in the labour room that it took another 2 weeks before I could come back to normal self... During the pregnancy, I was always sick and weak...

Now anytime I see signs of preg, my heart skips and the symptoms would... gosh! What might be wrong with me

Serious replies pls