Peter532:

I didn't marry her to train her, I married her for companionship.

Companionship with a 15 year or 16 year old girl? What's your definition of companionship?
What kind of companionship can she offer a much older person like you? Friendship? Sex?

takimsipho:
My problem with so many of the commenters here is that you all are focusing on what has been done already. Yes she probably got pregnant at 16 and got married. But how does she running away with some boys make things better? Is going around bleeping her age mates is that what you call freedom? In this era that people are used for money rituals every day. You people want to follow oyibo girls package of having multiple sexual partners and flings in the dear of exploring yourself? Hollywood fantasy have finished you people. I have a cousin that ran away from the house at 16 to live with her boyfriend. When her mates were writing WAEC she was collecting D, nobody saw her for 3 years. Now she has a son and has left the guy and is suffering. Youthful exuberance is not an excuse to mess up your life.

It was the OP that came here to complain, hence, the lashes and advice he got.
It is obvious the lady is the woman of the Op's dreams but the Op isn't the man of her dreams and she isn't ready to settle for the "unbalanced equation" marriage. She is still very young to remain in an unhappy marriage for the rest of her life. Even if the "unbalanced equation" marriage continues the lady will still continue to cheat on him, or might kill him to gain freedom. The OP himself might not be mature enough to handle a teenage wife. Acting like a father to her instead of a husband. He maybe mean, controlling, not listening to her, a master-slave relationship, hence, the her need for freedom.
Even if it was the lady that came here seeking for advice, the best advice anyone can give her is that
1) she should acknowledge that she made a mistake by getting married and pregnant so early.
2) learn how to make better decisions, because the outcome of our lives depends on the decisions we make.
3) Take her life very serious, go back to school or learn a vocation. With this, she will be able to earn, take care of herself, her child without depending on any man or following men all around for survival. It is when you are broke that people make bad decisions for you and force you to "swallow it hook, line and sinker". Money stop some nonsense, assuming her parents were rich, they might not have given her so early in marriage, even if she had gotten pregnant.
4) She still a better chance at marriage because she is very young. Being a single mother doesn't mean she can never get the man of her dreams. However, she needs to apply caution. She should make sure she is fully ready for the commitment and responsibility attached to marriage before dabbling into it.

takimsipho:
But she can run away and follow boyfriend abi? She is not too young for that? By 18 years you are considered an adult, the age of consent in South America is 16. Some of our grandmothers married before 18. Whatever freedom she thinks she is looking for is an illusion. When those boys start dealing with her she will remember what she left behind. Hunger sabi reset brain no be today. A lot of young ladies that run away from their parents/husband home always regret it. She has not experienced hardship in life thats why. I know prostitutes in their 40s that will not mind to get married to any guy that can look beyond their pasts.

Bro, the modern society is very different from that of our forefathers. Having a boyfriend is different from being a wife and a mother in a permanent lifetime relationship. She is too young for that decision yet hence her reason to still want to explore. She being more than 18 years doesn't mean she is ready for marriage especially in this generation.
Same goes for teenage boys too who are forced into marriage just because they got a girl pregnant.
See, forget Nollywood, life isn't black or white, so she might never regret the decision to run away from marital life especially if she is able to get a mentor/advisor to set her on the right track. It might turnout to be one of her best decisions.

takimsipho:
The op never raped her but married her. She was not forced and it was done with her parents consent as he clearly started. She is just naive and thinks she wants to flex but at some point she will regret it because that so called flexing will tire her when those small boys have starting beating her and hungry catch her. Nobody will tell her, she doesn’t want to learn the hand work again how will she survive on her own. Those saying she is a small girl, are her mates not in the university?

@bolded, How are you sure her parents didn't force her against her will to marry the OP? Is being a student in the university the same thing as being a wife and a mother? Does age mean she is mentally and emotionally ready for marriage?

Oga, forget about that girl o. Leave her to explore life. Don't entangle her in the name of marriage. The world has left the era where you force marriage on teenagers and they will just accept their fate.
She is obviously not prepared for the responsibility of wifehood and motherhood. Her age mate are currently free and enjoying their life and she wants that. You simply can't force her to mature or grow up. She obviously made a wrong decision of been put in a family way at a very young age. I hope she's able to re- write her wrong.
If you continue to force yourself on her, she will eventually resent/hate you. Or might be tempted to kill you just to gain her freedom.
Count your loss and move on. Don't jump into another marriage in the name of looking for someone to take care of your daughter. In your next marriage, make sure your partner is fully convince that she wants to follow you in the journey.
For your daughter, if you can't take care of her alone, get a nanny or take her to one of your relatives.

Bro, you are suffering from depression as a result of losing your Dad. Getting over the loss of someone you love is not that easy. That's why you have lost motivation for anything. The best thing is to get professional help If you can, I mean psychotherapy.
Then, surround yourself with people you love and those that really love and care about you. People that motivate and encourage you.
If you are religious, knowing God has big plans for you and consistent prayers can help too.

You think every lady will be moved by your money and material gift. I love the way this lady respects herself.
It is when some men think your livelihood depends on them, that's when they shove a lot of nonsense down your throat and expect you to accept it. These kind of men want to use the money and gifts as a means of control.
Op, you have gotten a treasure, you better learn to treat her with respect or else she give you your size.
Every guy should note that not all women are materialistic or greedy. Some will rather give than be given.

6pack:
I broke up with my ex 3 months ago. I have not been able to get her out of my mind.

She moved on got dumped by the guy in less than one month and she contacted me 5 days ago and I responded today. I tried settling it out and she said I responded late. That it can't work now. She even said she was going to see another guy . Like wtf.

What type of useless mind game is this please.
The fact is I love her so much. She is not the type that is after money or material things.
And I don't believe in double dating. We have been moving alone for 5 years now. I don't know how to get her off my mind. I have watch countless YouTube videos on how to get an ex off your mind but non is working. I have tried having sex with different girls just to get her thoughts off but its not working. This thing is affecting my hustle seriously.

Damn, let me drink some beer.
Life has been unfair to me relationship wise

Hey bro, you are not a robot, this was a five-year relationship. Memories are not something you can just wipe out or delete easily. Humans are different, because of our personalities, it easier for some people to recover from a break up than other. So don't let anyone discourage you, give yourself enough time to heal.
With time you will discover you have completely forgotten about her, and she looks like a statue to you.

I will be very disappointed in Goodluck Jonathan if he should accept this nonsense form. How can APC blame a man for 7 years and still want him to contest on the same platform. APC is a shameless party

So many discrimination against Nigerian women.

LeoDeKing:

Spotted.

From their engrish, we know them.

What's the relationship between Yoruba and Aba made engrish.

Epele o, English teacher. Eku ise.
I'm pretty sure you are a lagosian, you think every other south western state are think like you. Go to the streets of Ekiti, Ondo, Osun, Oyo, sample other people's opinions aside lagosian and you will be surprised

LeoDeKing:
[s][/s]
Nkechi, nairaland is a place for catching cruise.

No need denying your tribe because of comments on a faceless forum which has no consequences.

Smiling...... because I'm Yoruba doesn't mean I should follow the crowd dogmatically, this was how I was shouting against buhari in 2015 but the voice of the majority shut us down.

OkoroBufo:

Go back home and ask your mother where you're from. She played away match for sure.

-Okoro bufo

You think everyone that says the bitter truth is a bastard. Not everyone from the southwest have turn off their brain.

What is this people's problem? In normal sane society, everyone in their right sense should know it is should be turn of south east to become President. You can't just sideline a major tribe and claim unity.
And yes, I am a Yoruba girl.

AMGBoss:
OP, you're right. Both were under AD party before Omisore was removed as his deputy. Bisi Akande started retrenchment of workers in Osun state under AD which led to the death of many civil servants back then. Alleged Omisore to have killed Bola Ige. Bisi Akande is nothing but evil. If you don't know history, don't quote me. Enough for now.

You are very accurate.

Madam, your statement is biblical
Hebrew13.4 - Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.

When men hurt women, their fellows come out to justify their actions with a lot of nonsense reasons like "it is a man's world and they can do or undo". When women hurt men and retaliate, you see them wailing up and down, saying "fear the daughters of eve", " women are evil", "don't ever trust a woman", creating etc. Men often forget the law of retribution.

obiekunie01:


very stupid girl!

she will not know the bad programming her mother did to her until its late for her.

she will pour the hate on any man coming into her life.

Any man marrying this one will be bringing serious hellfire to into his life!


FOR YOUR OWN GOOD, AVOID ANY GIRL SINGLE HANDEDLY BROUGHT UP BY HER MOTHER.

Why all these assumption? Do you know this lady personally? Have you ever dated her? Do you know her family personally?

Hathor5:
Edited

Now that I have read the entire story, I have this to say. You blame that other people tricked you into marriage by saying that marriage life was sweet. Your experience was bitter though.

Did you ask those people how they made their marriages sweet? Or did you believe it takes a wedding ceremony for a marriage to be sweet?

You say that your single life was awesome. Did the things you were enjoying before you got married fall from heaven? Or had you worked for them?

Why do you people put so much effort into their careers but believe that a good relationship/marriage must fall from heaven? Why are people willing and ready to go the extra mile for their career goals but not for their marriages/relationships/families?

The truth is: if you want your marriage/relationship to be sweet, be ready to work for it.

I wish those other people would have told you that too.

God bless you, I wish I could like this post a million times

apatheticme:


You may wanna check up on recent scholarly articles and journal reviews as regards this topic seeing as times are rapidly changing and a lot more percentage of women now earn more or equally as their male counterparts!!

I'll share some pdf files from peer review journals with you once I log on to my system!

Cheers.

Please, go ahead, I will like to see it.

apatheticme:


What do you mean by the bolded??

A lot of women are more financially buoyant than the man and they fund the home also without louding it like these wimps whinning upandan when they drop 5k at home!!

Was Osinachi not richer, gifted, loved and more talented than her husband, she brought everything to the table, yet he killed her out of Envy, jealousy and stupid superiority complex. Now some Nairaland boys are trying to say it was because of her mouth. Which mouth??

You may not be aware, but a lot of women actually work and have their own money, even more than the men. So remove that stupid story you've been fed that women are financially lesser than men.

You don't have to grovel to seek their stupid useless male validation on Nairaland, there's more to life than male validation!! When you are not lazy and can work to pay your bills, they'll tremble before you.

"It's not every woman a man can beat". I'm waiting for the man that will beat Temi Otedola, or beat Folorunsho Alakija!

Stay focused.

Dear sis, Nairaland is the least place for me to seek male validation.
Yes, I agree some women are financially stronger than their husbands, but their percentage is a lot lesser. All over the world, stastics has shown that women earn lesser than men.

luminouz:


Your first statement and second paragraph (line 3-4) is at odds with each other. It shows some wives are actually insane. Funny thing is, you expect the men to 'walk away' after suffering mental and emotional abuse(all forms of DV you fail to recognize) but get ticked, when they lash out with physical assault. Why can't these women be better versions of themselves and don't be agents of evil or should we condone their behaviours and keep 'walking away' till we die?
Everything you just said, especially your last sentence is what women are known for. Your post confirmed it.

please re-read my post:
I am not in any way justifying domestic violence from any gender, in fact, no gender should justify domestic violence, we should all, love, accept, tolerate, forbear and forgive one another. However,
1) my first statement was a counter response to emmanuelbrown's claims that no man will beat a woman for no reason.
2) men are found of blaming women for their action as if they are perfect or saints. You people believe you can justify domestic violence and shift the blame to women, you can just shove anything down our throat just because we are women. See any gender can justify domestic violence if they wish to, women are not as complicated as men's belief. Most of these women you claim provoke you are only reacting to your actions and inactions the best way they can. No human will condone any form of hurt or irrational behavior from the other party for example irresponsibility or cheating(adultery). Because women are not as strong as you are either physically or financially, so, they get back at you emotionally.
3) the best thing for any part is to walk away when you can no longer bear it instead of justifying domestic violence or blaming your actions on the opposite gender
4) the second paragraph acknowledges the fact that there are some unreasonable human beings (both men and women) existing who are very wicked, but that can never justify domestic violence.

emmanuelbrown26:

D earlier women start telling themselves d truth d easier to eradicate DV but species of women we hv this days are not ready to hear d truth.
A man can not just wake up and lay his hands on a woman without d woman pushing d man to d wall, mind u not all men can be allowed to be pushed to d wall before fighting back. If a woman want peace she should bring d peace

No sane woman can just wake up and start provoking her husband without a reasonable cause. Husband should also bring peace as well if you want peace.
Bro, two wrongs can never make a right. You don't solve a problem by creating a greater problem.
I understand that some wives can be provocative, verbally abusive or might be violent at times. They can cause or look for trouble. But all these can never justify domestic violence, you can conquer evil with evil. Look for better ways of dealing with this kind of women, instead of beating them. Or better still, separate or walk out of the marriage if it has become unbearable.
Men are always looking for who to blame for their actions since the time of Adam and Eve.
Men should learn to take responsibilities for their actions

Proudlyomonna:


Persistency without a driven vision leads to waste of time.
This is how I started my own business.
I told myself I don't want to join the millions of people looking for jobs,but I don't have money now to start up something of my own,so I will work for 1year and save so so amount every month.
My driving force whenever I woke up to go to work and whenever I want to go to sleep was that I must start my own business after working here for 1year
Most people are persistent in doing something that always turn out to be unproductive,due to no vision,no driving force,no plan.

Apt and accurate. I love your points

Preacherrr:
OVER SABI, DID SHE TELL YOU RELIGION WAS HER PROBLEM? OR YOU JUST WANT TO TELL THE WHOLE WORLD THAT YOU DON'T HAVE SENSE. A MAN KILLED HIS WIFE AND ALL YOU PEOPLE ARE AFTER IS LOOKING FOR A WAY TO BLAME THE CHURCH AS IF PAGANS DON'T DO WIFE BATTERING. MTCHEEEW...SEED OF THE SERPENT EVERYWHERE.

Hope all is well with you bro or sis? I'm very sure you didn't read the comment I responded to before quoting me. You really need to calm down and re-read what I wrote. And please check my monicker and previous post to understand my comment.
I'm very disappointed in your post, if you are christian.

Kayode3747:
This story is too hard for me to believe ,media can propagate issue , mind you we are talking a big singing star here not a regular woman . I don't believe this stories to be true , how can a ugly man with no money treat a woman of that caliber with no response from her . is she a slowpoke .abeg forget media propaganda.

Haven't you seen people stay in abusive boy-girl relationships hoping the other party will change. With the so much importance attached to marriage here in Nigeria, no woman wants her marriage to fail. It takes a lot of courage and boldness for any woman to leave her home or come out of a bad marriage.
I guess one of her problem was religion.

kudos to the OP, I appreciate guys that have common sense.

oldienavie:
I am in my mid 30s, single, well travelled, exposed and educated.
I am going to put in a very short post, a summary of my experience on how to deal with women and get a good one.

1. You have to be a good man yourself, when you are a good person (integrity, honesty, faithful, hardworking and focused) you will attract women who can see your worth.
8. Don't use money to attract a woman, even if you have money, do not expose it, let her see you as a hustling guy, this will make you to eliminate gold diggers, a woman you attract with money will be taken away by money.

These are very important points. you cannot be a bad person and be looking for a good person to marry. you will definitely attract your kind.
Any woman you attract with money, you will need more money to keep her, she will carry her back and leave when the money finishes.
Enough of most guys on this platform thinking all you need to impress a lady is money
Money will only impress gold-diggers

Wetin happen
I remember the song "nara ekele mo" , she sang with Dr. Paul Eneche.
Such a strong and powerful voice.

SaintEVU:
Hello Experts in the house.

Recently in January, I was urinating very frequent above normal so I went to carry out a test for infection. the test showed moderate E.Coli and protein in the urine. I received treatment in a clinic (injections and oral medications).

I went for a confirmation test last week, and the protein was negative, no E.Coli but this time Staphylococcus Aerus.

I want to ask if E.Coli can grow to Staphylococcus Aerus?

No, E.coli can't transform into Staphylococcus aereus
Bro, normally, your urine is meant to be sterile that is free from all form of microorganisms.
What you have is Urinary tract infection ( UTI) which is caused by presence of microorganisms in urinary tract. However, what has happpened might be that the Laboratory gave a wrong identify to the microrganism responsible for the infection. Or the two microrganism are involved.
What you have is mild or minor problem, the right prescription of antibiotics will solve it except you have been misusing antibiotics previously and you have MRSA.

Just the way your association ( friends, family, aquitances) bring either good luck or back luck, the man or woman you marry can bring good luck or bad luck to you.

GLO did the same thing to me and someone close to me. I really don't understand GLO.