Contrary to popular opinion that ladies wear wig to look European. No, that's not the case.
Natural hair is more difficult to maintain compare to wig.
It is more painful to weave and loose, it is also time consuming. It gets rough easily. I have tried both and prefer the latter.

Someone said this:
Dear friendships of life,
I will hate more than anything to wake up one day and find that I can no longer call you, chat you up, play with you, feel free with you like we used to because you picked romantic interest in me and I turned it down.

It will be so painful to see your WhatsApp story and then after typing a lengthy funny response, I will then pause to think and then go ahead to delete the message on remembering that we are not as we use to be.

It will be sad to soil the friendship we have built over the years because one of us did not understand that God did not put everyone in our life for us to date, no matter how beautiful the friendship might be.

I know there is this pressure to get married from your end but please hold your fire.

Maybe it is not even marriage pressure. It could be a longing to fish in love waters but we must not fish together.

You might want to ask 'what then happens to marry your friend?'

That might be correct. You should marry your friend but unfortunately, that friend is not me

And this doesn't mean you should shut the door on our friendship. That will be repeating the mistake many other persons are making.

Young folks are missing out on amazing valuable relationships because immediately we get close to someone and start building a beautiful friendship, the closeness can easily be misinterpreted to mean that the other party has feelings for us.

And that can stir us up to want to try and make a move to explore love waters.

When things don't go as we expect, we start reacting from mismatch or unmet expectations.

And then the 'what are we?' questions will follow.

But I don't understand. I thought we were friends? Which one is 'what are we?'

Ain't you supposed to assume nothing until I say something? Abi you're dating me without my permission?

And from experience, almost all the time, this is where we begin to bury opportunities, close important doors, and short change ourselves

Only to wake up one day to discover we wasted our angels simply because we didn't understand that not all beautiful friendships should evolve into a romantic relationship.

In my opinion 90% of the time, those friendships should stay as just friendships

History is filled with beautiful friendship stories that turned sour because of this.

Think of some of the most beautiful friendships that lack of discernment made you convert into love affairs.

How did they end?

Sometimes, it wasn't even a heartbreak that happened, maybe both of you just didn't work out and because of that, you have drifted apart.

You drifted so far apart that the value you would have gained from your friendship has now been truncated.

This is 2022

Don't waste another angel. Be discerning!

Protect your friendships. If a relationship leading towards marriage is what God wants, He will find a way to put the puzzles together, even when you both go ahead dating other people.

Don't immediately turn the next beautiful friendship into a soul mate searching adventure. Calm down. Your soul mate might still be under a bridge in Ajegunle and perhaps this next friendship is what might connect the dot for you.

Master the act of providing values in your friendship without fantasizing about matrimony and baecation in Maimi.

Value people.

Stick to the purpose of that friendship

Practice self-control

And learn to hold your body

So, my friendship of life, like I was saying before I got distracted, those your dreams of doing pyjamas photshot with matching pyjamas, hold them first.

It is not me and you that will do that pyjamas shot becasue I don't even like pyjamas�

And if I have been ignorantly leading you on all the while, please let this note say all the things I am too shy to say to your face.

Yours,
Potential Monk in the monastery.

If this post bless you, please share to provoke sanity for someone else

Walk on gold
Philip Emmanuel

NaijaGoBetter20:
She slept over in her pastor's house a day before her wedding. Is this a tradition or part of the religion?

The "husband to be" is the main suspect here. And the pastor's wife

Yes, it is a tradition in some churches, the pastor's wife is supposed to teach the bride what to do on her wedding night

I saw short videos of this woman on Instagram. She looks a lot younger than her age and I love it. She has a beautiful shape and stature.

Miracood2:
1) Money

2) Money again

3) Don't be tired, more Money

4) Ego

5) Kudi

6) Owo

7) I say Money $

8. Brother just make this money

9) I say make this Money

10) Money is the master Key to Nigerian Girls.

I don Comot hands for this mata..

If it were to be only money that keeps a woman, Femi fani-kayode and Ooni of Ife and other rich Nigerian men who got divorced won't have Nigerian women leaving them.

KiNg0G:
you self, nor be crime for person to visit her mama especially when she's sick.

so if your wife nor dey, hungry go beat you and your children die?

when you get money for your pockets?

bros you pass weakling
nor be say na work periods..
you can't even make your kids Happy without your wife

I dey shame for you







ps:
I was once raised in a home, where if my mom is
sick...or she's not around...house go just dey one
kind. . throughout that period...(everything paused)
because everything was on her...apart from the
money coming from dad.
it nor supposed to be so.
till that day I say my own family can't be like that.(that's why I do things myself)

I like your mindset, God bless you bro

Sosotired:

This girl is right for me. She hustles. She is homely, respectful and tolerant. I would say she is the best yet (no comparison tho). I don't know what to do concerning the breath issue. I have never had to complain so much about any thing but because I don't want to just throw what we have away, I have had to have many conversations on the matter with her and she won't take even the easiest steps like brushing before bed seriously. This is crazy. What did you have to put with in your partner? Can you put up with bad breath? I need answers pls.

Bros, there's no perfect man/woman. Everyone has their own flaws, even if you marry the perfect woman, what If the so called "perfect woman" develops an illness after marriage that makes her imperfect. Will you divorce her because of that?
One thing I think you need is tolerance and forbearing. Ability to accommodate people's flaws for long while helping them get solution.
I believe your girlfriend bad breath issue is solvable though it might not be instant. Some bad breath might be an indicaton for an underlying health conditions. Taking her to a good doctor/dentist and she maintaining good oral hygiene can solve it.
If you leave her because of this, the next girl will definitely come with her own set of problems which can be worse.

I can't imagine the state of the bride's family and the groom
May our day of joy never turn into day of sorrow.

Princeadebayo11:
Salute fellow Nairalander, hope you are staying safe and I hope you are all good.
This is the first time I will be breaking a lady's heart ever since I've started dating, it was them that normally end the relationship themselves. But this time around my recent relationship the break up came from me and ever since I told this girl the relationship is not working that we should give it a break she has called 2 times after that accusing me that I wasted her time for almost 4 years which, I tried to let her know that during that 4 years of courtship we only saw each other 10times because it was distance relationship.
Though this girl was the one that woo (toast) me herself back in 2017 but I just had to accept her because I don't want her to feel dejected or embarrassed, I just accepted the proposal out of pity thinking that as times goes on I will develop feelings in the relationship, but the fact is that the feelings normally come anytime we had sex and once she travelled back I will start seeing myself as a single guy. She was the one that normally calls all the time, it's just like she was the only one in the relationship, and she is 24 years old while I am 26. Last week I just decided to advise her that the way this relationship is going it's just like we are wasting our time that she should have plan B in case if things doesn't work out between us, but it seems she didn't understand because she just flared up immediately I said that and started shouting God will judge me for doing that to her. The reason why I ended the relationship was because we can go for like a month without communicating and Both of us will be fine about it and she is planning to settle down next 2 years which I don't see myself in any marriage in 2023. But ever since then I've been having this guilty conscience that even I hardly sleep throughout yesterday night and I have been calling her that ending the relationship doesn't mean we've become enemy that we can still be friends after that but she didn't pick. To be sincere I want to get married to someone I love not someone I will be managing, because marriage is a long journey.
Just that I need to let her know my stands that I am no longer in relationship before it's too late for her to get a perfect man.
I know some people will abuse me that I am still a kid, no problem. I know because I am 26 years old

You don't need to allow conscience prick, you did the two of you a big favour. She maybe very angry and I understand it will be very tough for her now but she will later appreciate what you have done in the future. A one sided relationship or marriage will be terrible for the two of you.
However, I have question for you o.
1) Did you thoroughly think through this decision ? My brother the street is not smiling oo. If you are thinking that you might get someone better , that may never be the case especially if this girl is a wonderful person. Though I don't know how critical or genuine your reasons are for your refusal to commit to the relationship ( some people have commitment issues), but I will advise you to run back if she is a very good person, good people are rare to come by nowadays. You might not know the value of what you have until you lose it. The issue of getting married by 2023 can be sorted out by the two of you, if you are genuine about marrying her. Any sane lady can wait for any man she can trust with her life.
Then from experience this your case is peculiar to long distant relationships, these relationship becomes cold after a while except the two parties are determine to make it work. You can ask anyone that has been in a distant relationship.
My advice is based on my experience, I was in a similar scenerio with the lady though I wasn't the one that asked him out nor did we have sex, but it pained me to the bones I almost lost my mind. The guy later came back o because the street wasn't smiling the ladies out there showed him pepper, from then he respect me a lot till now.

NOETHNICITY:
Me too, I have seen in the hands of people I trust.
I used to be a trusting fool. Thought everyone had like my heart. My dad once told me am too damn kind-hearted. My mum had to travel from the the village to meet me in the city, she was crying and almost nelt down begging me not to go the way of my dad who too was foolishly kind-hearted all his life, and was the victim of repeated betrayals by close relatives. I had to convince her that I will change my ways. Still till now, I find it difficult to hurt or get back at people who have betrayed me. People now know that I cannot afford to hurt them no matter what. I cannot even secretly pray against my enemy or someone openly working against me. Sometimes I cry alone to God wondering why he created me in this manner.
This days i just try to avoid people as much as possible as almost everybody is a suspect

You don't need to feel bad God made you this way, believe me there are few people like you all over the world. You feel people's emotions ( pain and joy) that's why you find it difficult to hurt them, you often consider other people's feelings before yours. However, you must realize:
1) We are in a selfish world: the action of 90% of human are based on their own selfishness or personal gains irrespective of who they are to you
2) you are one of a kind: there are only few good hearted people in this world. So don't expect other people to act or behave like you. Their mindset is entirely different. This will help you anticipate their actions and save you from getting hurt.

NemoDatQuod:
I hear you. I am not suggesting we forget our families when we get married. Not in the least. But the nature of the relationship requires a change. You shouldn't continue with that two hours long daily conversation with your mum at the expense of making out time to continue to know and build a relationship with your partner. Else your partner will feel he or she is second best and become jealous. Your partner becomes your best friend and your mum takes a back seat. Also, family members should not come anywhere near your physical location unless it is unaviodable. The first few years of a elationship are the most dangerous because you both still do not fully understand each other's psyche and deep desires. A single feeling of being neglected, or being made to feel second best to someone else could end a relationship. You work at becoming each others' best friends. Not work at continuing your relationshup with your family. Those family relationships should become second best, if we want to retain our marriage. Your partner becomes your family, actually! It's the same thing with those who were your best friends and closest friends before marriage. Those relationships must change else there will be trouble in your marriage. Thats all I'm saying. And all of the above is not gender specific. But then we should not even get married to someone who has not demonstrated over time that we come first in their lives!

I totally agree with you

NemoDatQuod:
So because someone raised you and made sacrifices for you, she then has to be part of our married life? Then please stay unmarried. It is that simple. Everyone keeps acting as if each one of us must be married. Stay with those people you love so much that you cannot do without them. This goes for both gender by the way. I really don't understand us. Two people have the opportunity to enjoy each other's company and marvel at the beauty of togetherness. Yet one or both of them decide they must inflict pain on themselves by introducing third and fourth parties into the relationship. Did you not hear that the One who officiated the first ever marriage ceremony on earth stated that they must both(husband and wife) LEAVE THEIR FAMILIES and be together as one? The One who created you and gave you life and air and water has He come to live with you and be disturbing you every day because he is your God? Then why should a mother or father or aunt or whatever permutations they come in, be disturbing the peace of a maried couple? If I get married, I don't want to see my family or her family getting involved my our affairs let alone interfering. What are they coming to do? What sort of help will they need that cannot be rendered from a distance?
Also once you start any discourse from a gender biased perspective, you lose me. "Men can't take what they dish?" What does that even mean? Our focus should be on how we can help each other navigate the challenges of life regardless of gender.

Boss, try to understand my point. Yes any third party shouldn't never interfere in anyone's marriage, but it takes wisdom and caution in dealing with the third party especially family members. Yes, the bible instructed that both parties must leave their family members and cleave to their spouse but the reality is that you can't just delete every relationship you had prior to marriage especially with family members just because you are married, you need wisdom to put them in their place. Let's not forget, anyone that's gets married is a spouse and a parent in their new home but still a child with obligations to the family they came from.

Montaque:


A man can never be in the same shoes with a woman. You don't marry the man, the man marries you. So why should the advise be the same. And if you are angry that we would have given a different advise if it's a woman, there is nothing you can do about it. Nature made it so.

Women of these days trying to direct the affairs of their family while in their husbands house. Stay single, no. Stay married, no.

I'm not disputing the fact that a man marries a woman. I'm just saying let's learn to put ourselves in each other's shoes. The husband should try to understand the reason behind his wives actions and vice versa. Understanding is key in any relationship

jimmychang:



You mad sense at first but you later spoil am when you turn am to gender war

I had no intentions of turning it to a gender war, I just want you guys to see things from our point of view

Op, I want you to "put yourself in your wife's shoes". You need to understand that women are often emotionally attached to their family members especially those that raised them, it is usually difficult to break the bond suddenly because of marriage. Everyone has that evil crazy extended family member, but we don't throw them away just because they are bad, we just establish caution when relating with them, blood is thicker than water. She has known this woman all her life and see the aunt as her second mother, forcing her to break all ties will put her in a very difficult position ( that's how you get a bitter wife). She might hold it against you in the future especially when relating to your own family members. However, you can relocate to a different place where it will be difficult them to have free access to your house. Then, you can tell her to reduce communication with them to the barest minimum.
To nairalanders with their baised and one sided advice. Assuming it was a woman that came to seek advice on the case of her husband's evil aunt who practically raised him for 18 years, but didn't like her nor wanted him to marry her, so she laid curses on her during the wedding ceremony but she and her children still comes to the house at will after the wedding. The advice will be completely different. You will hear things like " forgive her, she is like a mother to your husband", " no wife should separate a man from his relatives irrespective of what they have done", " you have to learn to accommodate your husband's relatives" etc.
Most of you guys can't take half of what you dish out.
Just because we are women doesn't mean no one ever sacrificed for us, you usually forget that someone raised your wives, they paid the price and invested so much in them to that level that you got married to them. If they had not sacrifice for them, you won't have gotten that beautiful woman you call your wife today.

Moonie911:
I am scared of losing myself, my dreams
Like one of my age mate got married 4 years ago.... I remember when she use to tell me of her dream to be a fashion designer, even showed me designs of clothes and tell what to wear to match..... i saw her last month she was looking so tattered, a shadow of her former self.
She said she is teaching in one private school like that, i was scared to ask her about her fashion designing dream.
Getting married is good and wonderful but I am always scared whether I will wake at 40 and realised I haven't done anything with my life.......
I admire women in high positions in this country who make it regardless of been married but looking at most of them, they either comes from a wealthy background, married to a rich guy and some few are just damm lucky.

This is thought provoking for any woman with big dreams.

lilyheaven:
Go to her and have sex whenever you feel Hot, you don’t have to seek permission.
You payed for it.

Do you know there is something called marital rape?, you want to get this man into big trouble. Even some states in Nigeria have some law against it not to talk of "abroad"

50pseamer:


Thanks so much for your mature advice, she does not really believe in the leadership of a man,at least from what I see. There was a time I asked her not to take my child to school and she told me she will take him to school , and she did ignoring my request, I have asked her if she wants to go, so that we can separate amicably, she should not worry about her documents, I will still help since she has a child for me. I am not sure if I ask her to stop going to her church that she will comply, but I will tell her my decision, being that we live in a white man's country, I have tried to be a bit soft. She is not telling me she wants to go, I am thinking she wants me to pull the divorce trigger, that's why she is not saying anything, if I ask her if she loves me, the answer comes with alot of delay too. It's unfortunate, I guess I made a big mistake

50pseamer, I'm trying to understand your situation.
Why doesn't believe in the leadership of a man?
Have you done anything in the past that makes her doubt your leadership capacity?
I wonder why a woman marry someone she can't accept his leadership or submit to.

50pseamer, as a woman I'm sorry to tell you that you are married to an ungrateful and uncooperative woman.
Did you do offend her or have you hurt her deeply in time past? Cos I can't see any reason why a woman should be this unreasonable and mean.
You really need to get someone she respects to speak some senses into her head or else she will soon lose that marriage.
I must commend you for putting efforts to make your marriage work by all means but bro prepare for the worse. Navigating through life is a very tough task, you don't need a partner that will make things difficult worse for you.
you should have posted this topic in the family section.

akinade28:

The hidden technology and hidden poison is the juju we are talking about na.

people do evil in exchange for money, power and political influence

PoliteActivist:


Here is my theory: How juju works is not what we think. The juju we think about does not exist. But there are hidden technologies, hidden poisons, and such. Then there are entities who have billions who want as much evil as possible in the world. They'd give you some of that money if you do evil, or if you blasphem God - but if there is a way they can cheat you, they will. If they can get you to do evil without giving you money, they will. Only that they want people to hear about how juju made you rich!

The hidden technology and hidden poison is the juju we are talking about na. People doing evil in exchange for money, power and political influence

FarahAideed:


Don't mind those clowns they don't know what they are saying

People are not so stupidly foolish to kill a stranger or their loved ones ( mother, father, siblings or children) for something that doesn't work at all. This is the 21st century, a lot of people are educated and enlightened, yet some people still involve themselves in ritual killings.

PoliteActivist:


Spiritual my ass. Nigeria and other countries into "spiritual" are far behind. Britain defeated and ruled us for 50 years with dane guns despite all.our "spiritual"!

I understand your point of view; though the impact might be very minimal but if these don't work at all people will never be involved in them. You won't hear of yahoo boys, some spiritual leaders or politicians doing them. The risk and pain involved is too much for something that doesn't work at all.

PoliteActivist:


Why does our reasoning faculty disappear once ritual is mentioned?? Why don't they hypnotize all these rich men and Buhari.
And BTW 99.9% of rituals in Nigeria has to do with money!

Toor, I rest my case. It seems you don't understand what I'm talking about. You are using logic to explain spiritual things.

PoliteActivist:


People like this guy is our problem. Which whites do a lot of money rituals? Below are the richest people in the World. How many of them are from Ogun state?
They're almost all from US. Is US the blood ritual capital of the world? I don't know the logic behind this money ritual stuff!

Rituals is not always about money, some do it for influence. The ability to hypnotize, subdue and control people against their wishes.

Bunmhi:

Really?

This incident reminded me of the story. Though I heard the story over fifteen years ago.

FarahAideed:


So you think Mr Rahman Aderituals that has been doing blood rituals since 1984 doesnt know what he is doing .....don't play yourself , even whites do a lot of blood rituals

I guess the story my secondary school classmate told us about how this Adedoyin's mother confessed at the popular "oja Ife" market before her death that she had done "ájò àje" money ritual for all her children might be true.

Havilaah1:

Seriously it baffles me how he's forgetting other good qualities i have cos of this issue.
This same people I'm not yet closed I've sent gifts and cash on birthdays. I don't know how to pretend, i know some girls will pretend in situations like this and go back to their old ways once married.

My Sister you don't need to pretend at all. It better to just be yourself. Guys put a lot of ladies under this kind of pressure to pretend to be who they are not just to get married. And a lot of ladies have mastered this act of manipulation.
It is quite unfortunate that people don't love people who are real, they prefer fake people.
They prefer people who will pretend just to get what they want, then show their true colors afterwards.
I have heard stories of how desperate women Just pretend and show fake love to their inlaws just in the bait to get married, then start showing their real nature after marriage.
Then it becomes a tug of war between the wife and the inlaws. You will see the husband complaining that my wife has changed, this and that but she was never real in the first place.

BJanta:


Pastor, your understanding of the Bible is shallow. It's Biblical to tap into another person's grace. Elisha tapped into the anointing of Elijah and received double portion. What is the whole essence of impartation ,especially in the New Testament? Peter in the household of Cornelius, Apostle Paul in Act19 , etc.
"For I long to see you, that I may impart to you some spiritual gift, so that you may be established—"
Romans 1:11 NKJV. You're tapping from whoever is imparting to you . Bros and Sis, read your Bible constantly and ask GOD for understanding as you do. Most of these men of GOD can be impediment to spiritual understanding and growth.

Brother, you are the one getting it all wrong. You need a deeper understanding.
The Elijah's case you cited has nothing to do with grace.
Elijah's relationship with Elisha was initiated by God. God already instructed Elijah to anoint Elisha as his replacement 1king 19:16. Then, it was Elijah that asked from Elisha what he wanted from him, not the other way round. It wasn't Elisah that initiated the conversation. Then, Elisha requested for a double portion of Elijah's spirt. All these happened in the old testament where only few people had direct access to God.
Spiritual gift impartation in the new testament was always initiated by the holy spirit, it was the holy spirit that moved peter to go to Cornelius house, an angel apeared to Cornelius as well to invite peter. Peter reported that while he was still preaching the Holy Ghost came upon them.
Also, for Paul's case in act 19, it was also Paul that initiated the conversation not vice versa, he asked them "have you received the Holy Ghost since you believed?
Roman 1:11 it was also Paul that initiated it. He longed to impart to them spiritual gifts.
It is very different from people going up and down looking for whose grace to tap into, or looking for ways to tap into other people's grace.

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OmoEpe:
Mesah Otabil,a man I respect tremendously, got it wrong here. When people tap into your grace it is assumed they are tapping into a specific grace of God on your life. No man has a grace on his own, God gives grace, so when people desire that grace,it isn't your grace but the grace of God on your life.
Elisha desired and received the grace of God on Elijah. Not Elijahs grace. No man can receive anything except as giving to him from Above.

Another way of receiving the grace of people is learning under them. Biblically grace is multiplied by knowledge so another way of tapping into your grace is acquiring the knowledge you process in that area that causes the glow of that grace.

It.is never your grace but God's grace upon your life. As Christians it is assumed that all things are from Above and not on earth so it is implied that what is desired is the grace of God bestowed upon your life by God the bestower of the grace.

Elisha desired God's grace bestowed upon Elijah and got it, that doesn't make Elisha mad. It's a matter of intentions not just words.

A wise man once said words means nothing, it's only meaning is what lies in the mind of the speaker.
Seeking to tap into a man of God's grace is simply desiring totap into a specific grace of God on his life. Both ways it is still God's grace because the man processes no grace of his own

The example you cited has nothing to do with grace. 2 king 2:9 only mentioned Elisha requested for a double portion of Elijah's spirt. That was also in the old testament where only few people had direct access to God and could manifest the supernatural. Jesus broke the barrier, so everyone has a direct access to God.

Eyinju112:
This happens in Zimbabwe
I’ve got this neighbor in turkey then
They both hustle..The woman cooks, wash, sweep for one week without the man’s assistance and the following week the man cooks, clean, wash even toilet without the woman’s assistance, the woman would sit down watching tv while the man does everything for that whole week
It’s a 50/50 thing
They both hustle, the girl doesn’t have the right to demand, they pay every damn bills 50/50 even split foodstuffs money into two hahahaha
I was forced to ask her what kind of life is that, she said that’s their culture in Zimbabwe, and to be honest she loves it ...

They believe in equality
Nobody is superior....

Nigerian men can never agree to this. How do they take care of their children? Is that on a weekly basis too?
But I believe nature has made some roles more suitable to each gender. I mean men and women are better in certain roles.