₦airaland Forum

LilMissFavvy:
Ehy can't she get the daughter arrested and throw her in jail? After all she has another child, so putting the daughter in jail can't be the end of the world.

My sister, this kind of behaviour of the daughter is far more common in 9ja than we realise. I have seen at least a dozen cases and heard of a lot more over the years. For that reason, some vowed never to return to 9ja again. Betrayal by people you trusted the most can be devastating.

African always tolerate the worst possible nonsense because of "blood or family".

A cousin's half-brother squandered her 18 to 20m Naira. If adjusted for inflation, it should be around 35 to 40m Naira today. Her mother who was divorced from our uncle encouraged my cousin to keep the monies sent home secret. My cousin even refused the plot of land my uncle gave her for free to develop. The area was supposedly not developed enough. She later explained that her mother asked her to refuse the land, not that the location wasn't good enough. She was already bragging to her oyinbo hubby how wonderful her mum and brother are, complete with fake building pictures her brother sent her.

She returned home a few years back hoping to be given keys to her new fabulous house with some money left too. But no house! No money. She then cried to our uncle and explained the whole thing that happened. Uncle being a no nonsense man sharply went to EFCC. The ex-wife was now begging. I advised my uncle to ensure the daughter leaves 9ja soonest or she could be at risk. Uncle was totally furious and livid. I advised him to take it easy, considering his age. Uncle died a few weeks later.

That's the last I heard of the case.

wonder233:
Its all psychological. The so-called "sweetness" is the whole feeling of having sex with someone you're not supposed to. It is the same reason most young guys fantasy sleeping with a married lady or a girl in a serious relationship.
Whereas, at the end of the day, It is the same meat

See consultant sexologist abi na analytical fantasiologist.

Abeg nor go miss your calling. You are talented my brother.

How already made food nor go sweet? Until the housewife pour her hot water or send two a penny goons to kpafuka her.
Make she continue.

9ja we hail thee!

A country where the blind sees better than those with opolo eyes for head.

Where craze man dey control traffic better than yellow fever.

Everything na upside down.

OlujobaSamuel:
The weyrey said our current set of currency has been in existence since 1984.
Someone should help me check am if e dey alright.
None of the current set of notes or coin is older than 2000

That's how you know quota system officials.
She may not even know that we didn't have 1,000 Naira note in 1984. That's how badly they put square pegs in round holes.

peepydelano:
A male child is very important to an African man but that does not make the female child less of a child. The man should rest or keep popping kids till he gets his desired male child and not threaten his wife. He can simply take a second wife if he’s capable.

I used to think that men wanting to have male kids were just archaic. But experience has shown me that an average African should have both male and female. It is not about whether the girls could become NOI or Amina Mohammed and the boys may end up as vulcanisers tomorrow. It's not about who becomes more successful in life. That is too simplistic. There are roles that different genders fulfil culturally. As a son, I only realised the importance of my role culturally a few years ago when push came to shove. Most ladies will never have to play that role to understand, so need to even go into it.

We are Africans and anyone who cherishes key African values needs to know that. Any responsible dad should appreciate God for having kids, whatever their gender. If a man is economically capable enough, he can take a second wife. It is when the first wife refuses that it becomes an issue. Some women refuse to have a co-wife and lead to divorce. The story can have pepper and Maggi added to it later to become "wife was thrown out". Things normally lead to it including lack of compromise.

From my observation, when a daughter narrates how her divorced mother was treated in her marriage, it is 99% biased in favour of their mother. A lot of manipulation of daughters goes on while growing up. The daughters of a colleague who separated from his wife are going through that manipulation right now. The eldest daughter is increasingly taking her mother's side. The younger daughters will probably increasingly do same years from now as they get older. Even though they all used to condemn what they witnessed their mum doing to their dad. There is a reason why so many women try so hard to avoid letting kids visit their dad often when divorced. They want to control the narrative.

This is not to support or exonerate useless dads out there but these things are more complex.

Penguin2:
Oh, really?

Now why is Gideon Okar’s coup not Tiv coup?

Why is Buhari coup not Fulani coup?

Why is Babaginda coup not Hausa coup?

Why is Nzeogwu’s coup the only one with that ethnic tag?

You even forgot Buka Suka Dimka who callously murdered Murtala Mohammed and Lt Akintunde Akinsehinwa, his ADC. A boy remembered for his secondary school days in Benin City.

Nzeogwu's retirement plan was to run a hotel in Benin City. His approach using coup was misguided but the army were goaded by the general public to act because of how the Northerners shabbily treated Pa Awo (imprisonment for alleged coup plot) and killed Igbos in the North. For better for worse, Nzeogwu was a Mid-West boy.

Have we forgotten how Lagos-Ibadan press goaded Abacha to overthrow Shonekan? Nobody thought that MKO could end up dying in prison due to Abacha's actions.

safindakas:
Congrats to her. But this lady no fine shall. E get one babe for my back yard. Omo c yeah, hot legs, breast normal size and she com tall join. That babe fine pass dis babe.

I wonder o. She just dey give transgender vibes like those in Thai tourist areas in Thailand.

Maynman:
Why do girls castigate rich guys for wanting more than one woman?

Abi o. Wanting to marry rich is the reason the few rich guys can date as many girls as they want. Married rich guys still flex more women if they wish to. Even most girls are aware that those men are married. Some even hope to see their sugar daddy dump his wife at home and marry them.

Please also do not castigate the rich who date and use girls as they want. Na their money kill am.

Castigate or no castigate, nobody is stopping anyone from dating who they want.

sharpwriter:
Hmmmm.... You have spoken well sir and I understand you. I see cruelty all over with the fault of African leaders. To me, I see various Nigerians and Africans stripped of their original identities as in the days of the trans Atlantic slave trade but in a more advanced and subtle way.

But for naija people, no one cares, na anywhere belle face, dem don suffer enough, so na to go enjoy remain. After all the idea is that a slave master treats them better than their kin, hence, every place of comfort is home!

Well, the thing is people have always moved. For whatever reasons. US population is almost as large as EU population today.
Benin was already an Empire before US was even discovered by Columbus.

As for slave master, it's an exaggeration these days. Nobody is forced to go work anywhere.

I went to Uni with Americans, Canadians, Swedes, Saudi Arabians, Singaporeans, Australians, other Europeans, etc. Most stayed for further training and have remained in the country too. Indians, Chinese and Pakistanis migrate even more than 9ja. In some UK hospitals, you would think you are in India or Pakistan.

One of 9ja's best assets are foreign trained workforce and work ethic honed over decades. Gradual progress based on hard work and dedication. No godfather, no long leg.

sharpwriter:
I'm not really interested in all of the talks here because this topic creeps up every now and then off and on nairaland. I think the bone of contention is in your last paragraph which I believe needs focus and people are more interested in it. Now, that you said it, it will be better for you and other abroad crew to give a robust explanation/answer.

Cc: sukkot (I know are back, but help with the question).

It goes thus:

With all these experiences abroad which is not that palatable, WHY HAVEN'T YOU RELOCATED YET

A friend I have always helped in 9ja asked me this question when I was unable to help him once. He lives in Lagos and complained every now and then seeking help. I did my best each time.
When I told him times are quite hard, he asked why I have not returned home yet.

Mind you, each time he complained about difficulties of Lagos life, I never once asked him why he has not returned to his village or home state in Nigeria yet. Because I knew that after decades in Lagos, with kids, wife and life in Lagos, Lagos was now his home. I would be insulting him by saying return to your village.

Now look at it this way. How easy is it to move from Lagos after 15 to 30 years back to Orlu, Iseyin, Kafachan or Ozoro at the age of 40 to 55, with young kids? Which job will you be doing in your village? There are clearly too many people stuck in Lagos and just managing but almost all never leave Lagos. Same in PH, KD and other cities.

Well, it should be easy to realise also that those in US/Europe are also humans. Diaspora born and bred kids will find it hard adjusting to life in 9ja. Your ruling elite class are sending their kids abroad for quality education and you want to bring yours to 9ja? And you don't even have access to the huge money of politicians?

I don't like living in Lagos, for example. Way too crowded and many parts dirty. Abuja is not where I want to be either. When I return by God's grace, it's to my hometown as a retiree. Investing in 9ja over the decades ended in huge losses. From bank shares, businesses, etc. Too much dishonesty. So the basis (established business and self-employment) for returning at a relatively young age was already gone. That left politics only. I resisted it because I don't like our brand of politics.

You watched over the decades how everything you knew changed when visiting home. Community spirit, being brother's keeper, and all those things are gone. Returning to 9ja with no parents alive anymore and most of the great people and good things about 9ja that you once cherished gone, would be like moving to an entirely different/new country. The level of money consciousness and wanton display of affluence, even from questionable sources, are alarming.

For most people who have lived abroad for decades, diaspora is now their home and that of their kids. 9ja is a memory with nostalgia. Houses built in 9ja are for holiday visits that the family enjoys for two to four weeks and leave again. And as an investment.

As a kid, my local university, university hospital and schools were full of diaspora returnees, their oyinbo wives and kids, some Asians and a few Europeans as staff. Today our locally trained professionals are rushing abroad.

For the quality of life that you manage to enjoy abroad, there are big trade-offs. These are what we try to make people aware of before they move abroad.

FuckTheMod:
Once you cheat, we will never be the same again till the end of time.


Men can easily be forgiven because, men are visual people. Cheating is usually like an itch that needs to be scratched. I can easily fuçk a girl I hate with passion, AS LONG AS SHE'S BEAUTIFUL AND SEXY.

ON THE OTHER HAND,

Females are not so visual. Sex for them usually comes with emotional bonding and attachment.

Once a girl start cheating on you, [b]it means she doesn't have any respect or love for you and SHE'LL CONTINUE TO CHEAT ON YOU, NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO. UNLESS YOU "TAME" HER...[/b]

MEN SHOULD NEVER FORGIVE THEIR CHEATING PARTNER.
CHEATING IS NEVER A MISTAKE
CHEATING IS ALWAYS A CHOICE

WOMEN SHOULD NEVER BE FORGIVEN FOR CHEATING BECAUSE, THEY USUALLY CONTROL ACCESS TO SEX, SO THEY NEVER CHEAT BY MISTAKE.

If you have a cheating wife, your life is at risk sef.

klawaaa:
They won't understand why white only have few kids! If there are freebies as CNN portray it, Oyinbo would have many kids just like we do in the less civilized countries.

Gbam!
It takes an average of about £100k plus to raise a child up to 18 years old. Some think that peanut child benefit is enough to raise a child.
What you spend on a child here in one year only, we didn't cost our parents that much to raise to 18 years.

In any case, what quality of life can you give your kids relying on benefits? Imagine not able to take your kids on holiday at least once a year in this 21st century in the West? Because they are too many.

So oyinbo, aside chavs, plan their family carefully.

emperorlaqrin:
Smiling. Anyway your research is right but my question is how do you enter the black market as a novice who don’t know anyone? Also which black market job you wan do wey go give you 2500?
The truth of the matter is that before you can be able to do this you would have someone who was already in the system or someone who knows someone that can release there document for you.

Secondly the rate ph that you will get is usually below the minimum wage and lastly the employer that would take you will be someone also in the system. There are other things as well that I don’t want to mention here

My brother, I know you mean well, but please let everyone have their own experience. Experience is the best teacher. A lot are more interested in trying to prove you wrong or even insult you instead of learning from your advise. All that from the comfort or chaos of their abode in Lekki, Bariga or Agege depending on the economic status.

Only few can fathom the true cost of accommodation in London, for example. One said you get free treatment but forgot about £10 per each prescribed drug. On what income level do you pay £100 to £150 NI contribution monthly?

Over the years here trying to advise people to be realistic, we have been asked why we have not relocated to 9ja yet.

@ Bishopcharlie , resident feminist-wannabes will tell you love is blind, it's not her fault, she didn't ask to be born into that family, nobody is perfect, you can rescue her, etc.

If kassala burst 3 years into marriage and you come here to complain, same people will ask "did anyone force you to marry her?"
You can hardly ever win in this scenario.

Don't marry out of pity, you are not a saviour. Unless your name is Saint Saviour.
If you want to continue, ensure that you have enough resilience, patience and a big reserve tank to tolerant all kinds of the many issues.

Stone wey dem see wey dey fly come nor dey blind person eye.

OhiOfIhima:
I once had such girl, that even we haven't met, as I requested n she sent... After that, many thoughts go through my mind n I abort the mission. Unless, such girls change after marriage but for now that she is still single, she will continue send it to more guys as demand may arise.

Some still continue sending to other men while married sef. Lots of married men who went through wife's phone have wailed about wife sending nudes to others recently. Na today?

It is a personal decision. There are many angles to it. Just because a girl who feels you are serious about the relationship doesn't send you nudes does not mean that she has not sent to others. Because a girl sent you nudes doesn't mean she will send to others.

But one thing remains: If the basis of sending nudes is because she loves you or because you are in a serious relationship, can we honestly be sure that she has never loved another guy enough before to do same?

Asour:
'Usefulness' here is not an objective.

Your opinion is a bit hasty. There are potentially Violent conflicts that normal institutions may struggle with that Traditional leaders can be valuable for (Arbitration) if they are reasonable.

Secondly, Our modern 'democratic' leaders are more wasteful / petty & no better.

The person you quoted probably has no culture or is unaware of his. Politicians that set jumble pay, pension and benefits both in and out of office for themselves are those he wants us to trust entirely. Severance package for outgoing NASS members runs into billions of Naira this year. At the same time that health workers are trooping out of 9ia due to poor pay/working conditions.

With the rubberstamp NASS we often have, some traditional rulers act as better check and balance on State and Federal level executives than rubberstamp Ghana must go HoA or NASS.

With the snail speed of 9ja judicial system, traditional institutions settle cases that would have taken years or even decades going through the courts.

When we say Oba doesn't travel in Benin, it's for a reason. Every resident of the kingdom has a right to be heard by the palace if they have any grievances or cases against people. That has been the case for centuries. Oba has duties and responsibilities towards the people that he must fulfil first. It is not that he will not sometimes attend occasions or never leave the palace at all.

Oh boy, Kobo don jam. Na Spanish inquisition official you dey face?

I thought this was about an alleged abuse by another person.
Our people are worshiping MOGs instead of GOD is causing lots of issues, even lives.

Like those ignoring their vital medication because one MoG declared that they are healed. The same MoG that takes his own medication unfailingly.

Congrats young woman.

Nigeria's loss, gain to the whole world.

Looking at Shettima, you can tell he will be one serious U-turn expert. Such can never keep any promise.

Hearing him talk to defend emilokan rant back then, his coldness and arrogance were obvious.

Assuming the first son of Ewuare had an agreement not to bow to Oba of Benin in his life time, it would not apply to his descendants. Mind you, I have heard various versions from various Edoid tribes, which I would prefer not to go into.

But your version of story is unknown in Benin history.

The idea that anyone requested to take Oba's corpse to inter anywhere else is a long shot as such a son, if truly recognised by the Oba in his lifetime, would be aware of the tradition that only the Oba is interred at Ogbe Quraters in Benin back then.

Aiguoba vbi'Ogbe. Nobody else sleeps in Ogbe except the Oba. Sleep here means interment. Ogbe is Oba's relative's quarter in Benin. You don't just take Oba's remains to bury anywhere.

Moreover, the Crown Prince is already anointed at birth and presented to the people of the Kingdom. Nobody else would be dragging funeral arrangement with him later.

Popular history in Benin is that Oba Ozolua and Esigie held Edo North people in high esteem for their excellent services to the empire as dental surgeons and for their effort during Idah War. We believe that several places in Edo North were founded during this period.

Interesting story though. People can write their own history as they deem fit.

Gregyboy
UGBE634

Facehumble:
But the previous election, collection of PVCs was open till 48 hours to election.

I wonder why you cannot collect your PVC right until election day, provided such offices are open. Why set a month before election? INEC offices should have permanent desks in local council offices and don't need to shut down just for election. They should copy good from the foreign countries where they to hide money and receive treatment. All offices open in those countries on election.

Until now, diaspora people have no vote but billions of dollars of remittance prop up the economy.

FG tries very hard to disenfranchise people.

Probz:
Igboid, Edoid and Yoruboid languages (with Igbo probably being the oldest of all branch-derivatives, especially the Awka, and to a lesser extent Nri, prototype/s) all share a common ancestral root so it is what it is. There’s definitely more to the Igbo-Yoruba relation than what needs the eye but over-tribalism and lack of documentation means that those differences go untapped and it’s a shame.

I don talk am before say all these Nairaland Igbo and Yoruba people bickering here just dey deceive themselves. Dem be brother and sister.

Yoruba demon nor dey use eye see Ngozi, Nkechi, Chichi, Adaobi and co. Dem go lose their sense. Na so Chinedu and Ifeanyi dey lust after the ample back instrument of Bolanle, Bose and Modinatu.

Make dem resolve their fierce political competition make 9ia for settle. North dey take advantage of this division.

fulausa:
I know there is no standard language, so I’ll probably have to learn all of the dialects eventually (maybe impossible), but I am apparently Nigerian Fulani (heritage), though I’m American, like all of my family.

To learn about another culture, it’s not useless to learn at least a little language to go along with that. I’m doing the same with Japanese culture and now I’m intermediate.

I can’t find many resources to learn the dialect of Fulani that is spoken in Nigeria. If you know how to learn it without going to the country, please share what you know.

If you think I shouldn’t learn Fulani (I’ve heard from many on here that some don’t even speak it as their mother tongue but I don’t know how true that is), please share what other language(s) I should learn for Fulani culture.

If you wish to learn Fula language out of curiosity, that's fine. The bolded is true.

Most Fula people in Nigeria today don't speak Fufulde much or even at all. They speak Hausa. If you plan to be visiting Nigeria and want to communicate widely with Fula people in Northern Nigeria, learn Hausa. It is supposedly easier than Fufulde too. Of course some basic Fufulde would be a bonus.

Aside Fula/Hausa, 9ja has other great cultures, Benin/Edoid, Igbo, Yoruba/Yoruboid, Efik/Ibiobio, Ijaw, Kanuri, Tiv, Berom, Igala and many more abound.

Welcome to 9ja in advance.

Seun, Mods, FP. For our American-9ja kin!

Axis313:
I just got thinking right now, why some men are ready to offer assistance to women rather than their fellow men, even those men might be in real need of assistance.

For instance something happened as of recent, not to me though but my senior colleague at work.

There is this "baba alaye honourable", a married man that always visits this my co worker, and he is somewhat loaded, he owns some trucks and some other businesses. Whenever he visits this my colleague, he only comes because of one thing: women, and they are somehow plenty for my area. I mean housewives and single mothers, the man never do single ladies, and he always give them load of cash to support their small businesses, sometimes 50k upwards, even in the presence of this colleague of mine who he never deem fit to help financially except to take him to "buka" and buy food and drink for him. Even though he always promise my colleague that he will help him somehow, but nothing to show.

It is what happened recently that got me thinking, there is this woman beside us, she sells beer and other thing in her shop, ehe started recently and this is the first time this "honourable" will see her, but this woman, a housewife got all the package, and they got talking, this woman have no phone, the "honourable" bought her one new Samsung Galaxy phone and gave her some cash and provisions (even though the woman gave me some of the provisions ), but this my colleague never get anything from the "honourable" except food and drink.

And this got me thinking, why some men always ignore fellow men in need of help and help women.

I am not here to bash anybody or any gender, the thing just dey baffle me.

Dude, why do men go to war front to die and women largely don't?
In a real emergency, why are women an kids given priority to be saved?
Is it not men that control armies and security systems?

It is biological. 2,500 years ago in bush hamlets, you would hunt for scarce meat to impress women in the hood, prove yourself as a capable provider and attract a good female for marriage. Today, cash has replaced brawn, hunting skills, farming skills, etc.
Men are wired to be providers for the perceived weaker groups in society. Despite what feminists want us to believe, as men, our biology is refusing it.

Therefore, your friend, if he is able physically, is expected to be a provider too. Perhaps giving your friend money might make him lose hustling instincts that men badly need to keep honing. Alaye must have gone through your friend's stage in life too. No free lunch in Freetown.

Of course, the alaye honourable might be overdoing it, but he is following the usual pattern. I believe it's time to truly empower girls/women through education/training, not giving handouts. For those who what empowering at least.

Having said that, men do help men a lot too. But always avoid entitlement posture.

LeoDeKing:
At 61, the youngster who ...

Ipob don't understand sarcasm.

61, yet young.

Nope, you pretend not to understand.

They are poking fun at Nigeria for being a political gerontocracy.

We for kukuma adopt village "elders" political system that is natural to us.

Look beyond tribalism at least once in a while.

Rechargeam247:
She works, she has businesses. The children are in the university.

She isn't cheating, just disrespectful.

Oh, even better. Wetin remain again. Let kids just finish university.

After that if her disobedience continues, give her total freedom. Make she go. Otherwise her hurt to you go kpeme you and she will inherit all the property. Her kids will still adore her after contributing to kpemering the man. I cannot come and go and kpeme.

Just let her continue for now.

Obaaderemi2:
It's true. All manners of riffraff are allowed into the UK now, blacks, Arabs and eastern Europeans. Many of them are dregs.

You see, in this world, people can be penny wise, pound foolish. Britain could not bear having to do things on level terms with other European nations. Aside USA, they want to dominate other people, so they left EU when they could not dictate to EU.
The loss from Brexit is only just starting to show. A tip of the iceberg. Health Service is broken, nurses striking, train drivers on strike, teachers balloting for strike and worse. But they said Brexit would make UK El Dorado.

Let me give you an example. About 25 years ago, a lot of talented EU citizens came to UK as Europeans, not as immigrants in their belief. Welcomed by euro-philes like Tony Blair, Gordon brown and others in Labour party government. These were French, Germans, Belgians, Dutch, Italians, Spaniards, etc No need to even register their stay in UK officially. Many were teenagers and studied some of the most competitive courses, virtually for free (extremely low fees). Courses that Australians, South Koreans, Chinese, Americans and others paid tens of thousands of Pounds annually for. These Europeans largely planned to remain in UK.

A specific example. One European I know well spent 8 years doing MB PhD. A rare double doctor qualification. For the most talented. He moved to UK with his family around age of 13 or so. Then residency and other relevant postgrad training/fellowship and postdoc. Others also did many degrees and trainings at around same cost.

We estimated that his education/training would have cost at least £500k. Suddenly this guy and his family are made to feel unwanted in UK. Lumped together with Romanian gangs and polish plumbers taking UK jobs in Bexit campaign. Very many like that. A lot of such Europeans trained at a high cost have since left UK. Some collected the EU settlement scheme document just in case, but left anyway. Many to Canada, USA, NZ and Australia.

Many Europeans don't just take another nationality anyhow. They must really feel that they want to. Especially those from very proud European nations. They never ever planned to be UK citizen for any reason. Now to replace these people, UK is sucking developing countries dry of professionals. So whatever they get, make dem take am like that.

NL people totally left the topic at hand to focus on tribe. What they forget is that there are far more people of mixed heritage, from intertribal marriages in 9ja than at any point in our history. Very funny people.

Before nko?

It goes beyond that even. Nostalgia, money and general unhappiness in current relationship are other reasons.
For men, it's largely for sex and ego. Women have many more reasons to cheat.

Around 95% of women don't trust their men when it comes to cheating. Whereas around 95% of men naively trust their wife not to cheat. This excessive trust allows women to cheat without even being suspected.

The pastor's wife and Babalawo that died in a hotel is a clear example. Only that the pastor na damn niccur.

If around 25 to 30% of all kids, rising to over 35% of firstborn kids, belong to another man outside, it shows how high female infidelity is.

OneNaija:
Some peoples say Pidgin English is from Portuguese.some say it is from Niger Delta from the Delta state peoples and some say it is from the Yoruba.I like to know.Share your opinion on this topic.

Pidgin has evolved over time. The earliest pidgin in Nigeria was Portuguese pidgin. In 9ja Delta, such as Benin, some of the elite and traders spoke Pidgin long before British colonisation. Some few elite spoke the official Portuguese in the 1500s already.
Even today, there are Edo words derived from Portuguese such as Ekalaka derived from caneca, a Portuguese name for cup to drink shots of hot drinks, Ekuye (spoon) derived from colher in Portuguese, etc.

Today, we say over-sabi, sabinus or too-know: It is from Portuguese saber (originally from sabere in Latin) to mean "know". Same root word for savoir (French), sapere (Italian), etc.

Yes, Portuguese was the foundation but over time, French, Dutch, Spanish, German and others were added. Today, Nigeria languages form a big part of pidgin. Considering history of contact (Benin, Warri, etc) with Portuguese, it's no surprise that 9ja Delta leads in Pidgin. ND has many tribes, so a neutral language had to develop faster. Whereas most SW people speak Yoruba and NW/NE speak Hausa, even among lots of ethnic minorities there.

dplordx:
I’ve been to France, loved Marseille and most of the people speak English, although not fluently.
Cool people and great food but too many Arabs. I’d rather live in France than UK. I regret not focusing on my French classes back then. i for get more options and could live in Switzerland, Belgium, Luxembourg and others.

Marseille is very nice, but some parts are a bit rough. Normal, considering the high level of immigrants. It was even founded by the Greeks over 2,600 years ago anyway. One of the largest Arab and Jewish populations anywhere in Europe. Also Frances' oldest city.
The Mediterranean sea is right at your backyard with lots of sunshine. It is not as boring as other cities in the South like Cannes, Nice or even nearby Aix. Fairly cheap too. TGV to Paris is an extra advantage.

Having either lived in or extensively visited all the major European alternatives people have suggested, UK has some unique advantages and disadvantages. It is easier to aspire to do a professional job in UK than most others, except Ireland. IT sector may be the only exception.

Although German and Dutch are not particularly too difficult to learn as an anglophone person, people find it daunting. Culturally, we have become closer to UK/English way of life than any other European people. For obvious reasons. French is more difficult to learn for anglophones. Forget all those school " Tiens, voila Monsieur Mayaki" French back then.
Correctly tackling liaison facultative and liaison obligatoire or masculine, feminine and neuter genders in oral French nor easy. The French are very fussy with their language and how you speak it.

The downside is that comparable European countries have a better healthcare system than UK. It is for a reason that UK keeps tapping healthcare workers from developing countries. It has never been this bad for at least a generation. This becomes important with age and illnesses of old age start surfacing.

Most other countries also have a better pre-tertiary education system. Tertiary education is superb though. Poverty rate is higher in UK population and inequality is worse in UK too.

Africans who moved to the UK and have never lived in any other developed country usually don't know first hand what I have written above. They can only compare UK with the African country they came from.

Having said that, the push factor in Nigeria must be very strong for people to want to relocate to virtually any country that cares to grant their visa.

Elidrisy20:
he is weak, and she not hit him,or even use scissor to chuk him

Like by now, she would be accused of murder.

The discussion would be how could a trusted security guard have attempted rape? They must have been secretly dating. The guy must have threatened to reveal the dalliance and she killed him to silence him.

By now here on NL, it would be a raging contest of resident feminist-wannabes v. defenders of manhood.

How much can hitting a guy man considered strong enough to be security guard change?

If you have dealt with women who experienced rape in any professional capacity, you would have known that women respond in various ways. Fear for their lives is a one common thing, especially by known rapists. The woman fears being killed to cover up the crime. Some women are totally frozen and paralysed by that fear. Others respond aggressively. Others totally are confused and won't even remember scissors, knife or any defence method due to shock.

How many women in 9ja are trained on how to respond to a potential rape attack?
How many people can carry out first aid despite the frequent accidents on our roads?
How many are trained on how to respond to an ongoing terrorist attack such as mass shooting in a school or religious environment?

Such trainings should now be our focus.

It's hard to tell. Ideally the police should be involved and the account used is a good starting point.

But na 9ja we dey.

Op's friend may be the mastermind or innocent. Only a thorough investigation can reveal it.
If he was held against his will even if for 30 minutes or an hour, it's a kidnap case. A very serious offence.

Keep an open mind.