LegallyBlunt: Good day everyone. For a couple of weeks now, there has been issues where I worship.
Mostly between the Pastor and his assistant (presently former assistant). They had a falling out, which escalated to a point where the assistant stopped his duties.
Now, I managed to ask questions about the issue and the Pastor gave his version. I also got to know about the assistant's version.
However, here's the issue - they're not in speaking terms! Isn't that malice? Isn't that dangerous, and a deviation from what Christians ought to do? Are they not in danger of hell and manipulation from the devil and agents of sin?
What's even more painful is that the church just continues like there's no issue on ground. It's sad, really.
And you brought it here for the world to judge or what? A true child of the household of God having issues won't bring it to the world to see? Children who wash their dirty linen outside aren't true children of the household.
I know money brings COMFORT in all form, marriage inclusive but does it bring HAPPINESS along? Like does being married to a man rich automatically makes a woman a happy woman? Will it make the marriage a happy marriage? A happy home for the kids etc. I know the wife of a rich man would quite be comfortable compared to that of a low income earner.
She can easily outsource whatever she needs thereby making her comfortable in her home. From washing machine, maids, full dstv subscription, driver, Gateman, shopping, vacation and all good things that money can buy; does all these bring true happiness?
When a distance sister of mine got married to her husband years ago, we were definitely not too happy for her. We thought she'd suffer in a marriage without finance. The truth is they still have finance issues till now, but not something beyond their power. It's close to 10 years now and I realise she is happy there, herself and her husband are low income earners yet they found happiness in each other. See her looking younger than her age with two kids to show for it.
I have also come to realise(from observation) that most times, it's likely for a woman to eventually marry a low or average income earner(as against the illusion of a millionaire husband). As long as the woman has something doing, they usually end up doing well. You see them looking better than they were when they both got married lol Seems like a good marriage brings out the beauty of both sexes, little wonder why young ladies dont mind dating married men
So married men and women, what is your take on this? Does money bring happiness in marriage? Is finance all about the comfort it can bring? Let singles like me learn something new
Yes, it brings unspoken happiness by increasing the hormones that causes joy. You just discover that the home is lively and bubbling. A lively and bubbly home is a healthy home.
klimkid: My girlfriend and I have been dating for 3 years now and it's about time we start planning on getting married.
One thing I no for sure is that she loves me and I do love her too. Recently, she told me that her mom went to some churches and they told her it won't work, about 3 pastors. But my girlfriend told her friend to tell her pastor to pray about it.
So he prayed about it and he gave us feedback after 3 days and he said the marriage will work, he said I will give my girlfriend peace, take care of her and make her happy.
There's a woman that prays for me here in Lagos, she said there is nothing wrong with both of us. I also called my Rev. Father and he said that nobody has the right to say the person is for this person or the marriage won't work.
He said marriage is a decision both of us will take and pray about it.
He said hence we love ourselves so much, should leave it for God and continue with our relationship.
Guys, have you experienced this before? What do you think? I am confused.
I like the reply of your other Pastors and the Rev. Carry on if your girlfriend says she's ready to walk down the aisle with you.
vibrant40: Okay. I met this girl in an exam hall, we were both writing exams, so we did the student things, she asked me a maths question which she was kind of afraid of and me being a maths person answered her question and moved on with with my exams. After the exams she search for me to say her gratitude and we moved on. I think after the results was released and she got an A in the exams was when she had to find me and got me on Facebook. She chatted me and introduced herself, so we began chatting from there and that was how I got to know she is my kind of woman.
I asked her out, we started dating or lemme say I started dating her because at a pint she told me we were only friends during the time, be she do come to my side, we do touch and kiss but no s*x. Down the lane I got to know she had a guy whom she was dating but she could not marry because she has so many revelations and dreams that he is not the one and according to her, the guy had so many red flags. At a point I put it to her she should choose what she wanted on time, the guy or myself.
According to her she choose me. Along the line, she told me about another guy disturbing her for romantic relationship, because no matter what she will tell me anything even if she knows I am gonna hurt by that, although I do take it that she is trying to literally tell me to do quick and pop the question if I really want to marry her. All of a sudden I observe she was receiving a Seyi call till like 12midnight, and I would want to call her only for her to be busy on another call for a lengthy period.
She will not stop talking about this guy whenever we are together, how good the guy is to her, she even was like we have the same character but only that the guy is taller than I am and she had also never shy away from talking about the physically height of her dream children.
I saw all these as competition and keep letting her know how much I love and want to marry her. One afternoon, she just rang me and said just a sentence, 'I will marry you'. Well that gave me the assurance I needed, I met her mother (dad is late) and I must confess she has a very good mother, the mom checks on me everyday (infact she did while I was typing this epistle). I popped the questions and she said yes. We had our introduction and currently planing on getting married.
The problem now is, she would still not stop talking about this Seyi guy. She even called me one to tell me she went to his house, that the guy called home to come, I confronted her so many times to tell her how I felt about it, she kept saying sorry and keep repeating the same thing of no cutting loose from the guy, she even claimed that at least she is not having s*x with now that they are just talking..
Some days ago we had a serious argument about this matter and she was like maybe we should even end the relationship if I don't trust her (and this has always been her anthem whenever we have serious arguments, she would say maybe we are not compatible). She later apologized and promised not to let that happen again that she would cut loose of the guy, only for us to be talking via whatsapp last night around 11:40 for to receive this guys call and they spoke for like 10mins. I ended my call, she called back later and was like it was just an innocent talk they had....
Seriously, I am tired and confused, what should I do? Please help me with your candid advice. So sorry for the long epistle and some bad grammar.
Don't marry her,at least not now. If she doesn't cut him loose then move on. Ones a man is getting in the way of your relationship with her, it's a red flag that can lead to cheating when you eventually marry her. Una be Yoruba abi?
DamianDd: My dad is a really good guy, I love him so much and he's gentle most times. Though he gets angry sometimes but he's reasonable about everything he does.
I came home 11:30 which is very late and I knew that and I even hated it too that I came home this late so I was trying to avoid him even when he asked to come to his room because I had a gut feeling that things won't gi right.
But I ended up going to get my charger that was with him, then for the first 5 minutes in he was making sense about why I came home late and I was agreeing to it that it's true
Then all of a sudden he starts saying "what will people think?" "Neighbors are watching" "they'll start saying god forbid, like father like son" "I nor fit let my pikin be like this boy" "which kind family be this, see when their son dey come house?" "People are watching, people are judging" and even more words and it started getting annoying to me, then he said they will say "see when this small pikin dey come house"
It was at that moment that I shut it down, I've never been that way to him but it was so infuriating, I told him I'm not a child I'm 18 which is legal age, I work for my money, I make 50k to 300k a month on my own; no neighbors give me food when I'm hungry, the landlord doesn't clean my eyes when they hurt from viewing my phone too much so I don't give a Bleep what they think of me. I told him to not put all those orientations in my head because it affected me alot when I was younger and it made me timid and shy and scared of being myself or having different opinions and that's what I'm trying to fix in myself and my mindset now.
What I do feel bad about is last year I paid for the house rent and packing when I had alot of money, I brought it up when I was talking to him and said "I paid for this house with my own money so who is landlord or the neighbors for me to be sacred to come in and out of my own home, I know what I did is wrong and I'm sorry but don't put those bad thoughts in my head" I shouldn't have said that though by bringing up what I did for family. He only called me back and said "don't worry I won't talk to you anymore until I use my own money to pay for the house next time" I didn't say anything because i know I was wrong and nothing good would come out of talking back, I just left his room.
What's your thoughts on the matter?
You let your dad down and rubbed off on his ego by that statement of paying the house rent. You could have called home to say you were running late. Go to him and apologize because every delayed apology is still disobedience. He will tell he's sorry for trying to compare if you are prompt in your apology.
EriMma1: I've been observing this for some time now. Once a couple has lived together for ten years, the closeness between them reduces. As in.. the man no longer sits with the wife to gist or even play. Meanwhile, you'll still see the woman trying to bond and wanting her man to always be around her.
I noticed this in one couple. In fact they are pastor and Mrs. The woman always follows the man every where and wants to sit where he's sitting but the man would clearly avoid her and go out of sight completely when the tailing becomes too much and only come back when the woman is no longer in sight. Why?
No man born of a woman will try such with me, I'll blank you like you're not there.
Women, you too should wise up and stop making yourselves too available. Make yourself a bit scarce and they'll value you.
This mindset will make you have a bad marriage. You better start developing the right mindset, if not, you will meet the wrong person.
uzomakanaki: Fellow nairalanders, please I need advice from matured minds in this group.
I'm in a two year relationship with my woman, we're both working. I'm 34 while she's 27. My montly salary and commision is over 200k with other side hustle i do that bring in funds for me, i also just got a car i want to register with bolt/uber to still bring in funds in my free time.
My fiancee on the other hand is earning 75k monthly. I take good care of her needs and makes sure she doesn't lack anything I can afford.
We both plan to settle down by December.
Sometimes last month she missed her period, after the test we discovered she's 5 weeks pregnant.
I'm against abortion because of the dangers involved in the aftermath, i suggested she keep the baby while I come and see her family and do some necessary things before the main wedding. But she insisted in aborting the baby, reason being that she can't be pregnant and be working. Unless I place her on a monthly salary.
She has aborted the baby and had complications because of the quack nurse that performed the abortion. I spent a lot to make her back on her feet
I'm gradually losing interest in the relationship cos that single act of her. I've kept this to myself.
I just need advice on how to handle this. Cos I'm already fed up with her with her recent disrespect and the way she talks to me anyhow even in public.
Run for your life. This is not an device from a novice.
Following today's meeting between Barcelona president, Larpota and Lionel Messi's father, Jorge Messi, who also serves as his agent. Jorge Messi confirms Messi will most likely return to Barcelona.
If he goes back to Barca, it will not end well. There will be disunity in the dressing room because some players will feel he's going to make them sit on the bench.
Church is different from a business. If I was an unbeliever that is attending Church for the first time, would they have won my soul with such an act? Jesus did not treat sinners badly He made friend with them in order to win their souls. Paul was also friendly to sinners in order to win their souls.
The unbeliever knows going to church with earrings on is wrong. 2 hours of not wearing inside the church is now a problem. We must abide by and respect the values of worship places. No matter the civilization, some values will never change. As you grow older, you will understand more.
ojehmario1969: BIG BENZ Karim Benzema for Real Madrid: Appearances: 647 Golas: 353 Assists: 165 1x Ballon d'Or 1x UEFA Men's Player of the Year 1x UEFA Champions League Player of the Season 1x UEFA La Liga Team of the Season 4x Real Madrid Player of the Season 2x La Liga Player of the Season 5x La Liga Player of the Month 5x Champions League 4x La Liga 3x Copa del Rey 3x Supercopa de España 4x UEFA Super Cup 5x FIFA Club World Cup End of an era.
kekakuz: My first daughter happens to live with her mum and i only get to see her Like once a week or less.
I have noticed that when ever she talks to me on phone, she talks like an adult. She says things only an experienced person would say.for example, she called me to buy 3 cakes for her birthday and I questioned why.
She said because the last time I bought her cake was for her 1st birthday and I have to buy for all the years I did not buy.recently, I asked her who is God and she said God is a spirit that lives in heaven and is on the water and he created everything from the the water.
Even though this sounds incoherent and funny, I don't expect such answer from a 4 years old girl.
Today, I called her to myself and ask her what of her mum and she answered "which one" I was shocked .
I proceeded to ask her how many mum does she have and she said "my mum dies long time ago and this one is her second mum" I was shocked to the bone.
So I separated her from her siblings and asked deeper questions even tho I didn't want her to feel scared. She also told me she had 2 othere siblings and called their names. Told me where she lived before and this is where I stopped.
I have always wanted to belive In Reincarnation and this is proof before my very eyes .
Guys what do you think and how do I handle this
There's nothing to be scared of again after what we've been through as Nigerians, tell to bring plenty money for the family. Also, tell her she's sent to rescue her siblings and yourself from penury.
SultanOfAbia: My mother is furious that I don't want to come over to the UK. This month my younger sister left for UK and it's remaining me. Documents and all papers are right and after couple family intervention I decided to go for interview. I really didn't want to go to Uk I love my life here in Nigeria tho things are hard.. it's still my home I feel more connected to my father's land. Going to abroad is not my plan. My mother thinks I'm possessed by spirit that want me to not succeed. My uncles have pleaded with me to go and join my mum and sis in UK.
I was given UK visa last year, refused to join my sister that traveled this May
honestly I don't want to move to Uk. I know how hard life can be in 9ja but i still love this country. Mumsi says she is really dissapoinmented in me for staying back. Did I do anything wrong?
You should go. Spend few years there upgrading yourself with the right skills and experience and return back to Naija to establish yourself. Naija your country no dey run go anywhere, you can always return home.
I cant say if this problem is peculiar and I would sincerely appreciate mature comments and suggestions.
My marriage is just about a year old though I had an on/off online friendship with my now-wifey since 2017 before we decided to get serious late 2021. Our physical courtship was kinda brief - about 6 months - while we both resided in the same state but different Cities (about 3hrs apart).
I used to be very sexually active in my previous relationships - trust me when i say I'm quite good in bed - but with my now-wifey, I decided to limit the sex part cos i felt at a man's age (tho my sisters also advised same) that there r other things to look out for in a woman. So basically, we did not get too intimate during courtship. Worryingly, even the few times we did it, I rarely got to orgasm cos she couldn't match my stamina.
Fast forwards to 1 month into the marriage, I was diagnosed with High blood pressure which the doctors advised BP drugs might affect my libido but it will later regulate/normalize. Then the problems started! First, I get aroused normally with good turgidity enough to penetrate my Wifey's tight "body" but I tend to loose erection after some mins of thrusting and that's the end. Never comes back on again. Few times I was able to finish but that's not without alot of mental imagination to make me finish ontime.
Very worryingly for me, I decided to check myself with other women and dear readers, I achieved stronger turgidity and no fail moment. That was my first shock.
Summarily, my wife and I still dont live together but this situation has gone worse now. I got no sexual feelings towards her and na by force we dey manage run 1 round in weeks. Meanwhile, I get sex requests from other girls on a daily. I'm very sad about this situation especially when i look at my wife because she ought to be enjoying this thicke alone forever.
As a man, you can imagine how you'd feel when your woman feels ur impotent while other women are bugging you for your time.
Various extreme thoughts have crossed my mind and I'm seriously bothered which isn't even good for my health. Should i confess to my wife?
The foundation a marriage is laid will determine its success. Red flags are hard to hide during courtship. There are couples celebrating 40yrs of joyful marriage and others few years and then divorce.... Choose how you want yours and prepare for it.
9jabox: In what looked like a script off of a fictional novel, the unbelievable happened today on our nation’s premiere Tv station, the NTA when the wooden backdrop used to identify the program on air fell on the presenter of the program on live Tv.
The presenter literally shouted Jesus and ran out of the stage.
tomitrace: War destroys cities: Every Nigeria City or aspiring city should learn something from the Collapse of Warri as Oil City👇👇👇
Warri was a big industrial hub in the 70's - 90's.
Warri Refinery, NNPC, DSC, Delta Glass, Shell, Chevron, Schlumberger, Dunlop, Agip, Saipem, Halliburton were in full operation back then. Escravos & Forcados were at their peak.
The city thrived. The city was full of zeal and zestful activities. People living outside hardcore Warri called themselves Wafarians because of propinquity to Warri even though they were not Wafarians. To be a Wafarian was to belong to supposedly a unique lifestyle.
Multinational/Local Banks were present Citibank, FBN, ACB, Savannah Bank.
Business activities thrived. Warri port was a beehive of economic activities
Entertainment/Night life was at its peak, Musicians, Live bands at Palmgroove Hotel, Comedians held their sway: Fela, legendary Don Baker, Majek Fashek, Emma Grey, Oritz Wiliki, Rex Lawson were a few of many of the entertainers that made Warri ebullient. Lido, Zina, etc were comparable to their ilks anywhere.
The town was full of life and it thrived.
McDermot road was busy with Maritime activities and contractors. Kingsway Mall offered anything sold in Lagos at that time.
Joma & Mosheshe were big fish distributors across the Niger Delta.
Rubber produced locally, was used to produce plastics and tyres.
The town grew in size and became a conurbation with people coming from all over the country to settle down in Warri for economic activities.
The Airports were super busy, Escravos, Forcados & Warri Airport. The Warri Airport was even relocated to Osubi for expansion.
Warri was revelling in its glory. Warri Port was fully operational and served as an economic booster for the city. It served businesses in Warri, Benin, Asaba & Onitsha. The Port created huge employment opportunities for locals and the state.
Things started to go downhill from the late 90's. The community leaders and youth chairmen began to fight themselves over control/sharing formula for royalties that came from oil & businesses from settlers.
Itsekiri, Urhobo & Ijaw leaders & youths started fighting each other. The bloody fight started around 1999 and lasted for years till 2003/2004.
The community leaders started imposing local taxes called "Deve" on all companies, industries and local businesses, buildings & projects.
Little by little, the companies frustrated, started leaving.
This continued throughout the early 2000's till 2010. The companies kept on leaving, one after the other. The companies layed off their employees. Unemployment rose.
More companies left for PH, Lagos, Akwa Ibom. They layed off more staff. Unemployment increased still.
Today all that is left in Warri, is a shadow of its glorious past.
95% of all the big companies in Warri had either left or closed down.
Most of the young people have left Warri.
The ones left are driving Keke, doing P.O.S, Spa or Boutique, Beer parlour or doing hookup.
There's peace now, but the damage the greedy community leaders did to Warri, still lingers on and is almost irredeemable at this point.
Do not assume that your city can not be destroyed if it toes the same route Warri followed. Warri leaders did not ever believe that Warri will be this economically empty today while they were fighting then. Learn from Warri and protect our economies
Have you asked why big eeconomies like US, China,etc will never allow war in their countries?
We must learn and avoid things that will trigger war in our country no matter how strong we believe we are. Businesses and investors go where there is peace than where there is war.
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True story. My community, Aladja, host to DSC,B+B, Techni trade, Peter Man looking very empty now. I remember in those days by 5pm the community will start bubbling as workers close from work. As kids,we visit the camp white men were staying playing with their kids toy guns through the barbed wire fence. It's all memories now...
Xerona: Hello Nairalanders, there is an issue at hand. I have two kids and recently gave birth to the third few months ago. It's been really difficult for me since I practically do most of the house chores... my husband is hardly around because of work.
I came down with this strange disturbing headache that doesnt go away. So I went to see a doctor and she said the headache was as a result of postpartum stress and lack of sleep.
The truth is I'm awake most of the time because of the baby or when I'm attending to other household matter. I haven't had a good sleep in a long while. So when the doctor suggested I get a house help so I can find time and sleep when shes holding the baby. I knew she she was on point. But the problem is my husband, he wouldn't hear of it, he doesn't want us to get any househelp...
I even pleaded with him and made him see reasons why I needed help, but he refused... I'm beginning to think I ended up with the wrong person because I dont understand why anyone would deliberately want to subject their wife to this kind of torture.
My kids are age 5, 2 and 3 months... I go to the market, cook, clean, i even do school run too...He's a contractor and will be travelling back to work next week.. yet he doesn't want me to get help...
I don't like househelps too but whatever my wife wants me to do, I do. I go to the market for her, helps out in chores and thank God an aunt is handy to help out with the baby. But your husband should help out. Oga, if you are also seeing this post,pls help your wife out.
victorVIC1: I have a male kid that is about 3 years old and I recently observed that a particular kid in the compound that is 2 months older than him always attempt to bully him at sight.
The few times this have happened in my presence, I restrained my son from retaliating cos the boy in question is autistic. Though my wife also informed me, there was a day my son fought back and the boy stopped his bullying attempt for a while afterwards.
This morning my son was about to leave for school. Immediately he came out of the apartment, the boy ran towards him and hit him. Once more, I stopped my son from hitting him back but this time his mum (my neighbour) experienced the scenario and only made a remark to the boy to stop looking for trouble. I felt she made the remark just to create an impression that she was concerned.
I've been feeling so uneasy about this since morning and this is obviously a bullying case and I'm subtly training my kid to tolerate it. Hence, I've concluded that the next time such will happen, I will ask my boy to fight back.
Just to have your opinion on this matter, is fighting back the best approach in this situation putting into consideration the health condition of the bully ?
Once in a while I tell my son to also hit his younger cousin back who likes to hit. I restrain him when I feel it's right for me to. Even his mum asks my son to hit him back. It helps to build confidence in reserved boys. Don't feel uneasy and it's not a bullying case, it's normal.
beekind: I am a 38 year old Nigerian American citizen dating a 26 year old Nigeria girl. I grew up in Nigeria but travelled out to the USA when I was 25 years old, I am a citizen now and doing really well for myself. I met a beautiful and godly Nigerian girl on facebook and we have been dating for some months now we are now thinking of marriage, she is in Nigeria while I am in the USA.
Some weeks ago my dad asked me to do some tests and send to him, (He is a medical doctor), I did them, turns out to be fertility tests and all was perfect. I just told him about my fiance and my plans to get married in some months time and he said she has to do fertility test before he can agree to the marriage.
This was very shocking for me as he insisted that it is his position, I haven't told my fiance cos I dont know how to and my fiance is scheduled to pay my parents a visit for the first time in Port Harcourt in 2 weeks time. My fiance is from Delta but lives in Portharcout as my parents while we are from Port harcourt.
My dad has said if I cannot tell her that he will, what do you guys think ?
Honest advise please and admin kindly push to front page for wider advise.
Thanks.
There's nothing wrong doing the tests. We do a lot of tests here in Nigeria before most churches allows you to wed in their church. The churches send you to hospitals they choose.
Beautiful Lady Used For Joy Soap Advert In The 80s, Aging Gracefully In those days, people had crush on the joy girl in the video because of her unflinching beauty and this is how she looks now. The pretty young lady that was used for the advert then, has now turned to an healthy looking old woman.
Real Beauty Never Fades.
Watching the video again brought back the 80s feeling. Oh, my country! what happened to you has left a sour taste in our mouth.
officialwdhtv: American returnee in tears after she saw the "2Storey" building her brother built for her after 40years of living in the USA and sending money to him
It happened to me. Cousin sent me some cash and I wanted to do a business with it, make some profit and bank his money again before he needs the cash but I was duped. He sent a car and I was going to pick his girlfriend he asked me to, I get accident for road. Na so motor take get fault. We quarrel tire and today we done settle but things no dey always be d same.
Those without blue tick contribute more than half of his earnings. Let's say they all refused to renew their blue tick fee and continue like everyone else, who go tire?
FreeStuffsNG: They stay but no blue tick. Blue tick will now come with special benefits unlike before. LeBron James and co want it free but at the expense of Musk who got a bank loan to buy and run twitter. That is what is not reasonable and fair.
Did Elon Musk buy twitter because of blue tick? I want to believe the bulk of the people without the tick gives him more money.
I've read so many comments but I want to point out this. Right from the onset, Hakimi is very clear how white women behave in divorce cases. He hates that part of their culture and doesn't want that to erode his African and Muslim values.
Las las, he go still beg him mama to give his ex-wife small thing.
Abi she follow Hakimi get all those many injuries wey she wan take half of the man wealth?
Religion / Re: Malice Among Ministers In The Church: What Should Be Done? by Bananapill: 10:42am On Jul 09, 2023 
lol
BIG BENZ