₦airaland Forum

TechCapon:
I agree with you on this. Are you learning aws online? I heard it takes at least 8 months to learn it

I learnt through a guy called Maximillian Schwarzumuller, he is very good with his tutorial. I have also attended their online webinars and conferences. Depend on what you want to learn at a time that will determine the length of your learning process. Make sure u build a testing app with it. I did a Mean Stack app which I hosted on their server with EC2 Instance and S3 bucket.

If you are going into this discussion with your assertions then you have thrown every other reasonable factors that might contribute to a lady becoming a single mother into the gutters. In as much we can both agreed that some became so because of their wayward and behavioral life style, we can also admit that some never saw it coming due to the deadbeat or irresponsible partner they ended up with. Moreover any matured single guy can decide to marry single mothers because it is his choice to make and not yours or me..Thanks

pocohantas:
They don’t have retentive memory, they should read and assimilate at their pace. That is why teachers spend lots of money on trainings, that way, they can identify different types of students and what learning process works for them.

Nobody’s prayer is keeping me going, you people that can pray so much should help us pray for Nigeria and pray out COVID-19.

It is only a woman you’ll hear say she cried and prayed for a man to pass exams and get a job. Check her (and her family), they haven’t attempted such professional courses or worked in such organization. You would wonder why they don’t PRAY for themselves.

A man will tell you he helped her with study plan, arranged her CV, bought her a laptop for job search, helped download Examiners Report...etc. Practical solutions to real life problems.

There are few jobs with plenty people. Many factors will come into play in shortlisting. Even connection is more effective than your cries.

You see, this is why most pastors target women; they always resort to less practical ways.

May God bless you for this, u could not have said it better. Our pastors used this epistle to blindford the people a lot. Some cannot even pray by themselves, they believe they need a pastor before their prayers are answered by God.

He that finds a wife finds a good thing..though the reverse is the case for this man..my sympathy goes to the victim and the unfortunate husband in this pandemic period.

I think my head might burst with this locked down..first IBM Nation Africa started free cloud services and I enroll. The AWS started theirs with plural sight..recently GCloud has joined but no certificate just free services of some of their paid courses. Andela is in partnership with Facebook with a program for Covid-19 tag BuildforSDG Andela Fecabook challenge. I am on it, we should be rounding up second phase by tomorrow. So this locked down has being to acquired more knowledge and skills for future purpose..There are so many things you can learn online, don't just waste that your data surfing for jokes and attention all over the social media platforms.

Chuky7:
how did you get your remote job ...can you guide me on that...and for which company?

If you are in coding line, u can get remote jobs here...angel.co, pangian.com, remote.com, stackoverflow.com

Vyvyanvyvy:
Thank you so much for the advice , I really appreciate it. God bless you

I have read so many comments and yours too, but I am still surprised that you claimed your husband's refusal to accept a 12 years old boy into his home is because of his naughty behaviours which is expected of a child. Believe me I can't wrap my head around this lame excuse at all. I still want to believe there is something more than this you are not saying for the reasons he doesn't want that boy.

Ishilove:
A fool, a complete idiot and a flat out bastard. However, there are some of us who know how to treat their fuckup.

madam easy nah, our ego is our pride as a man and it is needed to put you ladies in check. While some of you know how to balance our ego with love and not with arrogance..stay blessed beautiful woman

sassysure:
Still wrong comparison.
The day Christians will start seeing things realistically instead of fantasizing about things they can't achieve but pretend they do,maybe, we will start having better family system.

U know, men loves the total submission thing.
Women don't like it. Forget the pretence.
That is the most important verse in the bible as far as Nigerian man who is a Christian is concerned. Remove that and they will lose interest in church
And because women want to go to heaven, they stomach it and abide by it even when it's killing them inside
U see the various marital squabbles we see everyday from beating househelp, fighting in-laws etc all are by --products of biblical submission.
Refer to what I wrote in the beginning if u want to have good marriage. A marriage where one member feel stifled due to religious obligation is not marriage.

The Nigerian society is an extension of the family.
So far, so bad. That tells you we got it all wrong from the beginning.
U stifle the woman, woman stifle the child and this goes on and on and the product is an unbalanced society.
Has it paid off well for us as a country and society?
When u look at Nigeria as an entity, u get a failed nation showing we have failed family system and that means that some archaic laws we follow and believe in that are not meant for this century don't work for us. The biblical submission law is archaic. Isreal don't even practice that but yeah, we believe we know the bible more than them especially the old testament.
Let's accept the truth.

The developed nations were like us at a point. But they had to tell themselves the truth.
U don't stifle your women and expect the outcome to be glamourous.
Women maintain the emotional stability of men and families naturally. When she isnt free to do it naturally, u get what we presently have.

U guys should continue with laws from the bible and let the society keep rotting away.

At the end of the day we will still depend on those who don't obey such to breath.
Your choice, their gain

In summary you are saying it is an herculean task for a woman to submit and the husband to love and respect his wife.. You are also saying Christ was wrong to admonished us to follow what we are not capable of doing It is well.

sassysure:
Very wrong comparison that Christians normally make and unrealistic.
When husbands fail to reach up to half of the points mentioned, wives will be utterly frustrated and this breeds resentments afterall the men should be like Jesus.
(It's like the proverbial virtuous woman that men hold onto or women submissivess churches preach.)

Jesus never married.
Just like saying reverend fathers are the best marriage counsellors.
How can they when they don't marry.

In marriage, u don't look up to anybody cos u will fail.
Everybody has his or her own uniqueness horned by his or her environment or nature. No written rules. Don't set standard rather encourage the best traits u see in your spouse. Marriage work best when u dont set standards.
Go and make research.
When u set standards for human, that's when they fail most or if they should ever aspire to meet such standards, it will.be forced and not from the heart. E.g. parents and children.

Yes Jesus never married yet he set a standard that will last forever only when practice intently. In Eph 5 where He admonishes wives to submit and husbands to love and respect, have you found any couple with total obedience to this words go wrong in their marriage??

bukatyne:
That's why a woman has to look well ma'am and ensure is a Christian in deeds also.

And most Christians are wolves in sheep clothing's. At least the ones who practice it here in Naija.

bukatyne:
Frank you mean?

Christ is the husband/head of the Church which a Christian marriage is founded on.

I don't know if it is easy to possess all those attributes you listed in this insane society where everything is out to frustrate your existence. It is easier to read the bible and pour it out like this but being practical of it comes the giant walk.

So many wives are enduring miseries in their marriage currently because they have no income of their own, so they can't pack up and leave the marriage because of hunger that will kill them and the children in case they decide to go with them. Women should understand that by now you need to work and not totally depend on your husband for your own sake and not for your husband's. I pity some house wives when I see their husband brings in almost 90% of the income because they have nothing to bring and they choose to remain like that. Such wives can endure both physical, emotional and mental abuse from erratic men because they have no where else to go since they are too dependent on their husband.

Jaubdu:
The alphamale wannbe, and the red piller and the keypad warriors won't you identify yourself? I think Women should call them out.

I didn't see where you state the one you belong to. At least let's know yours before others share theirs.

The black race has been using this mentality the OP stated to continue in recycling poverty into generations and it won't stop any time soon. Marriage should not be your utmost priority rather becoming a success in which ever endeavours you found yourselves. Does it matter if you give birth to your first child at 50yrs, as long as they have a successful future to welcome them into. When people marry without viable means of survival, they just continue to feed from hand to mouth and breeds children along the line then the poverty race continue in that generation. Or what else do you think brings about the majority of poor people living in a country called Nigeria. Have you asked yourself why poor people breeds like rats? While they continue to whalloh in poverty? Just try to get it right no matter the age then your next generation will continue to make exploit of what you have laid down by then they can marry even at 20 and still continue the success story. Chase success first and make sure u get it, then your children will take it from there, then they will be among the generation of wealthy people. Nobody will remember how poor you were then. Just like nobody remembered how poor dangote, otedola, adenuga, Ifeanyi Uba great grand parents were.

I don't know how to classify this set of politicians with their abuse of Judiciary process. Over the last few years they have abuse the judiciary with filing of a single case over and over again to the extent that the court is confused and just following the tides. As of now, the law has being bastardized and ruined by our politicians. Very soon a politician will file a court injunction to remove your own father as the head of your house in order to place whoever he wants..yeye dey smell

madridguy:
e-lawyer, why not follow him to his bank and get 25% of the 50 Million.

We are supposed to learn from every situations so you don't repeat the same mistake or be able to help someone when the opportunity presents itself. The person you quoted mocking him with 'e-lawyer' tag was just trying to explain what the law says when it comes to situations like this. Ignorance is not an excuse but at the same time we can't know everything at once, but failing to learn is not an excuse and might become a costly mistake in the future.

SammieRexx:
See this one....if gurl die for your room...you fit remember nairaland not to talk of creating a thread

I taya oo my broad..ur head go don dey comot smoke without fire. Running helter skelter to no man's land. I can't even imagine such scenerio in my head now.

ericsmith:
LOL ! @times i find it hard to believe people on social media live in the same world as me humans cant just segregate love from sex ... i guess abramham ddnt love sarah if he did like i claimed for 90yr he won't av accepted to sleep with the maid sarah brought for him.
abramham tried to sacrifice isaac perhaps he didnt love him like a father that waited 90yrs should. what you 4get is, that you love someone doesnt rule out you might do sumtin that wil hurt them its part of human imperfections.
There is no need advicing my friend confess anything the problem as been fixed and evrytin is back to normal. i don't know what you meant by healthy r/ship buh what yu meant is "perfect' my sista their is no perfect r/ship once in a yle distractions wil come, handle It in the best way n push it off ur path.

I disagree with your statement of loving somebody then doing something that will hurt them. Abraham's case is different because he was told to do it by the person he loved. For using the bible to try to justify loving someone and yet hurting them because you are imperfect, this is what it says...1 Corinthians 13:4-8 New International Version (NIV)
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. This is what love is truly is, anything short of this means you never loved the person. Either you liked the person so much or u are in lust, but it is never love.

ericsmith:
I am a realist, there is norm and there is reality as well, lets be sincere with ourselves is not every problem or challenge we can share not because their is no love buh sharing some might even compound it. i will give some instance;
i av a friend that love his gurlfriend, buh he had a fling n impregnated another lady ... now these guy was having a hard time trying to convince d gurl to abort, thru those period he wasnt really himself so much the gurlfriend noticed.... will you have advice he shared such problem, is that not a personal shit.
there is a yoruba adage that say " its not all cloth we spread under the sun. communication is norm just as sun drying clothes

That he has the guts to impregnate another lady and doesn't want to tell the gf shows he is a deceitful person which means the relationship is not healthy in the first place and never loved the girlfriend. Please advise that your friend to save the innocent girl by telling her so she can decide if she wants to remain in that relationship or not. Don't dish out what you won't tolerate. Will the guy accept what he is dishing out..a fling u called it

XhosaNostra:
Listen, if you're not up to something, you tell that to your partner. Finish. You don't just go Houdini on them & then expect them not to catch an attitude or dump you. Communication is KEY. You don't have to spill your guts out to them, but be considerate enough to let them know you got stuff to deal with. Only a psychotic woman will still bombard you with needy messages after you have told them wassup. A sane one like myself , will check up on you occassionally just to let you know I'm there, BUT ONLY if you tell me what the fùck is going on. When you go silent on ME, without any explanation. Nada. That's when the sword comes out. The next moment you decide to put your head through, to peek in, I'M CHOPPING IT. End of story. I'm not studying shìt. You have to understand me too if you want me to understand you. Fair game or get stepping.

Spot on

ericsmith:
I would av expected you read thru & understand "there comes moments in our lives we just need space" for various reasons that as nothing to do with partners ... buh do even reason.
Let be realistic man or woman we alway av personal shit we don't just wana share, you can't tell me its all ur problem to share with ur boyfriend,some yu just av to sort it yursef.
Mumu gurl if partners who refuse to share there problem are selfish, so bombarding ones partner with problems is generosity ..lol! are sure you've been dating men cos yu sound so inexperience.
Humans are prone to problems n challenges, on a longn run people want space, a real man would jus wana sort his shit alone same as an iron lady, so its alway important to study n know ur partner …. i don't just see 1% sense in walking out of a r/ship just becos your partner is not talking, whether we like it or not situation like these wil alway happen, concern & understanding, maturity & tolerance is what takes couples thru, xhosas with zero patience have no business with r/ships not to talk of giving advicing.

You have a strong point when you said there are moments we want to be alone and have our time to ourselves. But when you are in a relationship especially committed one not just randy bf or gf stuff, you owed it to your partner to communicate with each other any issues that you may be facing. You have to be open to each other and see how you can help each other when issues arises. But when you don't communicate with me during the time you are on distress, shutting me out, making me feel less important to you. My brother he doesn't speak well of the relationship, or how far we have come. So that is the angle Xhosa is coming from.

Sixfeetbelle:
Finally, we agree on something. Monogamy is unreasonable in this modern age where things are not as they should be. But until Monogamy is scrapped, anything outside the union is wrong.

Mind you, she's not hogging all his wealth to herself cause it's not possible. A man is always in charge of his wealth at all times. Also, if he wants to nurture another woman, let the wife be in concord, so it doesn't cause problems later.

I suppose this is why contract marriages are in vogue now.

Anyway, we will sha figure out how to handle our individual marriages the way we and our spouses best agree on.

It was nice arguing with you.

Believe me when I tell you that monogamy is very reasonable to me personally, religious belief aside. I don't see myself marrying more than one woman no matter how much wealth I acquired in the future.. maybe because I am not too attached to sex, because aside sexual benefit I don't see the need for it. Well some of us still believed in monogamy and we will stick to it and not do otherwise. The problem I have with it is the hypocrites practising it. They chose monogamy but go behind and start using their rod into every available holes. That is why it seems as if it is a bad marriage concept. Some of us detest cheating and will make sure will do away with it. I am not against any one that works for you, just make sure you and your partner come to an agreement and stick to it. Be it monogamy or polygamy.

RisenPhoenix:
No. I am not a muslim and not a Christian either. My idea on marriage is not driven by any religious doctrine, but by my own logical deduction, and I will admit that I'm wrong only if you can prove it logically. And I do not see any logical benefit of monogamy. It has created more harm than good.

A man promises to take care of her, not to be loyal to her (whatever that means) because a man's loyalty should only be to himself. And I absolutely endorse that promise. A man must take care of a woman financially to ensure her contentment (within reason and ability). But if he has the ability to also do that for many women, then why not? Why the selfish desire to hog all his wealth to herself?

As I said, monogamy is unreasonable.

I enjoyed your debate or argument with @sixfeet, but you did not grab her last point on the institution called marriage. She said you can't claim to be a christian and took oath to abide by one woman which is monogamy but later do otherwise because you felt you have the financial capacity to marry multiple women..haba... You have broken the rules, it is as simple as that. If you decide to marry multiple women under your logical reasoning, no problem go ahead. But don't condemn those who choose otherwise.

PerfectMatchNG:
We have started. send me a dm

Please who won the Single Mother challenge you held last year. I couldn't follow the update of the thread at some point. I know by now we should have a winner. Just want to know the moniker. $100 was the cash prize I guess

yvelchstores:
. The wife's body healing part is actually a valid point since it was CS however, I think she can manage this one but of course it will have to be another CS.
Just be calm, children come with provisions and blessings. You will cope financially in Jesus name amen.
Congrats

Some of you will not cease to amaze me with this your statement of children comes with blessing palava. I wish I can take you round mainland such as ikorodu, badia, itire, ajegunle and so on to show you how children are really suffering because the stupid parents brought them to this world when they can't take care of them. Please refrain from this your advise if it is what you usually give couples who intend to bring children into this world without viable means of survival. Pls I beg of you.. It is for a sane society where louts and imbeciles will be on the low.

Kenya and surprise package is like bread and butter. Though on a serious note it won't solve the situation of the country. It is not about getting married to multiple women when you are not financially buoyant to take care of them. We definitely don't need this in Nigeria where we already have deadbeats fathers.

Due to the messed up society we found ourselves today even though we created the mess ourselves. Every man deserves to know if that child is truly his. We will get there even if it takes eternity to achieve.

DAramis:
I used to watch this channel. The level of fraud going on will make you to shiver.

There is an incident of a guy being roped in by the woman but they guy insisted on DNA test though the baby is less than 5 months old. It turned out that he is not the father.

The annoying part is the issue of Legal father and biological father. Imagine signing a birth certificate because someone was convinced that the child is his but the DNA test proves otherwise. The court still mandate that person to keep on paying child support and being the legal father, just because he penned his name on the document.

Such can never work in Nigeria. Also, so many men may not survive the earth shattering truth that comes out from such DNA test coupled with the public embarrassment it causes.

My brother, I have watched different episode and I can't imagine myself being in that situation. Like lefulefu said, I doubt if the Govt. is ever going to support the paternity test because of the outrageous outcome it will bring to this nation. We are just in a pitiable state in this country. The worst is what you have sated that in U.S you continue being the legal father as long as your name is on the birth cert. even when you are not the biological father.

If you want to know the level of Paternity Fraud in this nation, just got to Youtube and watch different cases on Paternity Court. I watched a particular one where the lady has brought two guys already and none happens to be the father of the child. The judge had to plead with lady to continue the search for the possible father for the child's sake. Humans are promiscuous both male and female, but since a man don't get pregnant begs the one-sided argument placed on women when it comes to paternity fraud. I noticed some ladies get flared when the issue of DNA testing arise or being called into question, that is a big sign that we are truly in trouble in this nation when it comes to the paternity of a child. How many men can afford $700 for DNA testing? when the economy is not smiling at them. The possible means to help a common man who might need to get the answer he is searching for is for the state to subsidized it and make it open to the public just like the way it is been done in U.S through the Paternity Court provided for those that cannot afford the DNA test on their own.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IkGkhFeQwts

This your advise won't happen any time soon, just believe that. I noticed people on Nairaland brings two kind of behavior here. Firstly, the one which happens to be their personality. You can't change them because that is who they are in reality. Secondly, the ones that hide their real identity and join the bad wagon because it is online, therefore they are safe and most people don't know them. So they chose to be bad and insults without regards of who you are or minding the words they used. I have so many reasons I can give you why I don't insults or attack people here no matter how foolish their comments may appear to me. But that is my own personality. In other to have a sane mind just ignore most insults and act like it add nothing to you. I have seen different kind of insult here that I wonder who is behind that keyboard. There was one moniker in which the girl happens to be a jambite, she was insulting this guy and both were attacking each other with comments. I just laughed and pity the guy. The guy could even be old enough to send her to school and feed her but he had to come low and start dragging himself low with this girl..such a pity. Some older ladies too do this on this forum with probably one small boy that might not even be able to look ur face in reality or even call you aunty sef. My advise for saner ones, dont reply any insults, just let the person take the glory and be happy with himself or herself then move on to the next thread as long as you have given your opinion.