₦airaland Forum

EmpressT:
Ok. Sincerely, what can your wife do to you that will make you not to forgive her ever?

I think you are trying to get justification for yourself towards your future husband. Am I right? That may be the reason you asked him this question.

AwkaetitiBabe:
You don't test intentionally people. Anyone is capable of failing some certain tests.

She probably gave him standing monkey style... No one can remain d same after such experience

Lolz..pls how can someone learn this style? For future sake, so I can teach my wife

Some of you are the reasons why we eligible bachelors are scared of getting married. Your wife's mood changed due to reasons best known to her and she couldn't easily confide in her hubby, shame on her. You on the other hand noticed this and couldn't sit her and communicate with her and try to find out the problems instead you are talking about seeing your ex when you just married not quite long, shame to you also. If two consenting adults don't know how to communicate with each other to bring peace then they have no business in marriage at all. Babymama and Babydaddy would have been better option for both of you. My hope in marriage is to find that partner I can pour out my challenges and we both can solve it together and she willing to do same, else no point having a partner instead to remain single and do a baby mama thing. Sefini

czarr:
Bro I know it may not feel like it now, but I assure you that you will meet more women who will shower you with love more than she did, so if that is the reason you love her, then she is not worth it, you should love her instead for having a good heart, not just to you but to everyone else...that's how you know a good person.

your mistake was chasing....I want you to know that there are women who naturally like to chase...allow them.

My brother, he does not deserved that girl for what he did except he is ready to face the humiliation and endurance the girl faced while chasing him. There are some things you might not get twice in life if mistakenly neglect it. A girl that chose you means she wants only you despite seeing others. Which is different from you choosing the girl because that is the normal procedure as guys. He might find love again but he will be the one chasing for it not the girl, such is life. I would have preferred the girl not to accept him back again so that he learnt a bitter lesson from it in case of next time he will make a better judgement when presented with same opportunity. We guys would have advised a guy to moved on if he was the one chasing and got such embarrassment from a lady. Even if the lady accept to date him now, she will have to build the hunger of likeness or love that attracted her to him again just to remain in the relationship because he is now the one doing the chasing not her.

Omnivalent:
can a university graduate marry a jss 3 student?
please, help a brother.

If you are a northerner then no need to advise you but if you are not. Then give us much details about the girl which I presumed she is not a minor because you won't even take a minor to your parents for marriage rights. Let's get the full gist to ascertain if you are actually serious or talking from your dream..haba..jss 3

leonard002:
You're a big idiot

Oga be civil nah. I didn't abuse you in any of my comments so I expected same from you. I only say you should try it out according to the research you made reference to. I don't do insults online. Pls be guided.

kcowen:
Your friend trusted you for a reason by telling you his secret and you open a thread to discuss it with us
Your friend disappointed by sleeping with the girl the second time and the only way to condemn his action is by opening a round table to discuss it

Some of you cry more than the bereaved. He is even aware I created a thread for it here on Nairaland. So, please chill. This is a faceless forum where most users are ghosts. Just learn from it or move on. Simple as that...

Some years back my uncle went to the village with his daughter who couldn't communicate with our native language. If she tries to say jack in it then ready to laugh your ass out. She was around 13 years by then. The family grew up in PortHarcourt. The family did not take it lightly with my uncle. They mocked and accused him of not teaching his daughter his native language. He felt embarrassed that day. I have seen some parents still do it here in Lagos where they will tell you not to speak any native language to their son or daughter because they want them to be able to speak only queens English in order to be well honoured in the society. This is ignorance on side of the parents. A child of probably 5 years old can learn almost 5 languages simultaneously while growing. Every child is a genius under the right environment and school of thoughts. A child can only grow with his or her full potential with the help of the parents not the reverse. So parent let's tread with caution when raising our kids not to turn them into monsters that some are today instead of a genius.

Lamanii22:
My niece is a genius! My future daughter is a genius...

Won't your future son be a genius too? Except you are not planning of having one.

chidooh1:
For a total stranger to refuse totally to use a condom during their first sexual encounter means that the person refusing the condom is hiding something. No right thinking person that is totally sound with 100% functioning brain will fall for this, don't tell me it's difficult to resist unless you are on a suicide mission. This is Lagos, i have come across a number of ladies(not prostitutes) and all would ask for condom before any other thing.

A random stranger oooo. I don't understand also

leonard002:
https://www.everydayhealth.com/hs/preventing-hiv/odds-hiv-transmission-rank/

https://www.poz.com/article/HIV-risk-25382-5829

U can do the experiment by sleeping with an infected person to know the outcome

ghettochild4u:
Mr Oga, there is no prove the girl has HIV.. So stop all your drama...
Na one die go still kill man..
U go choose the one u want

I wish u could have seen him how he was shaking and asking me what to do before I suggested using PEP for safety purpose.

obanla01:
you no suppose memtion the area. I guess

The area I mentioned is the area he met the girl and the place he went for the drug not the place he stays.

leonard002:
Truth is, HIV is pretty difficult to get. Do a quick Google search of the chances of getting HIV infection

What do you mean by it is difficult to get?are u not supposed to get it if u sleep with an infected person without protection?

Erediauwa:
[color=#ff9999]In your writeup, you never asked for advice, rather it was a total condemnation you put up.


This is a "girlish" attitude....[/color]

Not so brother....I have warned him against this Facebook girls he is used to. I told him so many ways to try to convinced the lady, I just didn't put it in my write up. Yet he went there and still have sex and was complaining everyday how the PEP drug is really affecting him. Atleast if the girl could get tested. There won't be need to continue using the drug.

post=85512910:
Inside life.......

This same guy once swore to me in the past never to sleep with a girl without CD. Now he did it. When I reminded him of this statement, he said such is life...that things change

Erediauwa:
[color=#ff9999]So you came here to gossip your friend to us right?


You're now behaving like bobrisky...... Judging your fellow man round town.[/color]

It's not about gossiping about him but alerting the rounding behaviour of a person. Is this the best advice you can give him? At least I can relay ur advice to him if you have one.

Dhammyesq:
i understand how the urge is like, e no easy to not just have sex most especially when the sex is good

Would u have done it the second time if it were u? Haba it is ridiculous..

I don't know where it is written that sex must kill a man. A friend called me and told me what happened to him this December. He met a girl on Facebook and decided to go and see her at Ikotun in Lagos State. On meeting her, he arranged for an hotel to do short time with her in which she agreed. He said very bad odour was fuzzing out of her private part and yet the lady insist no use of condom. He said he was surprised yet couldn't resist because his penis was already hard and ready for action. After the sex, he got home and couldn't relax but started regretting his actions and became worried if he has not contracted any STI infections or probably HIV. He called me and explained everything to me. I was shocked asking him how he can meet a random girl and couldn't use condom with her. He said he doesn't know what got over him. Now he is scared of having contracted any disease. I told him to go for STI tests and see the results but as for HIV it will take 4 to 6 weeks to show any sign of the disease. I then explain the use of PEP, an HIV prevention drug that is taken within 72hrs after coming in contact with an HIV person. I recommended he goes to any general hospital and ask for it. He later went to Randle General Hospital at surulere and he was attended to. He was given PEP to be used within 28 days. He was told if he can get access to the girl and asked her to come for HIV test. When he called the girl and explained things to her, she flared up and what saying what did he take her for.. a prostitute? When he told me and asked him to just go and see the girl and find a way to convince her to go for the test that it is for her own good. Meanwhile he complained that the drug is already making him to fall asleep easily which is affecting his job despite taking it at night. He later went to see the girl and what came back shocked me even more. He said after getting there he explained to the girl but she is not ready to listen but assured him of having a nurse that do the test for her regularly. I was surprised to hear this, now the biggest moment came. He said after everything they still had sex though he now used protection. I became angry at him asking him why he did that? He told me he gave her a sentforth sex..lolz.I couldn't believe what I just heard. I told him now I understand why he will surely die of sex. He is still taking the drug but will go back after 6 weeks for the HIV test to know his fate. I am just wondering how people could be so careless with sex despite knowing the consequences of the acts when done with an infected person.

funmisticqueen:
No woman benefits from being the come up woman. No woman benefits from ', building' with a man. No woman benefits from self sacrifice where a man is concerned.

There are two ways for a woman to build with her husband. She can either help build the family or help build the empire the man acquired. If she is just the staying at home woman without no significant input towards the man's business, then she has nothing to hold in the empire. The second case is that of MacKenzie Bezos, the wife of Jeff Bezos who inherited $35b from Jeff's empire because she truly deserved it considering her input in the empire Bezos has today. You need to read how the woman contributed vigorously to the successful empire Jeff Bezos has today. What I don't know now is if the OP's mother is for the former or the latter.

donvicky2007:
"IDEAL". I know you want to mock your father, forgetting that no one is above mistake.

U are not ready to be objective even when they have given u every reasons why Lampard will struggle. Let's see what second season will bring where he can sign his own players and fit them into his plan then u can rant all u want. Pep did fail at first season and got it right from second season with his own players..I just weak for u..

Amanee:
And some guys have s**** p****

Please I didn't say you have before you baptize me with insults

I don't blame you.. I see reasons why some of you deserved getting pregnant for scumbags that want nothing to do with the child and mother. Well the guy should just send her back to her father's house and only care for his child since he is not married to her. And move on with his life so he can find a woman who is ready to grow with him..Simple as ABC...

Amanee:
This one is obviously looking for reasons to dump the lady because of see finish...

I no blame you sha

I blame the lady

Some of you chewing gum love fuckboys are yet to grow and earn the tag 'husband' but most ladies don't know the difference.

How can you sit calmly to read what the OP wrote and still come up with this your statement? I am highly disappointed in you being a lady and see nothing wrong in what the lady is doing despite the guy took the responsibility in which most scumbags wouldn't have done. Now I see why they say some ladies have fi***be****.. Pls I didn't say u have oooo before u start baptizing me with insults

MariaAngeles:
I dare any man to try that trash with me...
Oh Jehovah!
In fact, make e be say na you sef... Hahahahahaha.....

You better be careful with what you asked for? It is better to leave an abusive marriage than trying to be Anthony Joshua . All men are not same oo. Before you even raise two hands..the next thing is hospital bed

According to your explanation, your hubby must be suffering psychologically to behave in such manner. Yet there can be hundreds of reasons why he is behaving such. Or there is something else you are not saying. It just doesn't make sense for someone who doesn't beat you. Involve family member first that is after you find out he knows what he is doing. I pity women in this sham called marriage. They are allowed to take rubbish but the men can't or shouldn't.

Enwhen:
Is TRASH because it involves begging




NA U SUPPOSED GET THAT MAN AS HUSBAND FOR SERIOUS BEATING NOT ONLY XMAS DAY... but also NewYear, Easter , Eid Kabir, Eid maluud, Eid Fitri , Eid Mubarak, Independence day, Workers day, Children's day, infact all holidays .

una no go kill person on this forum. Wetin she do u nah to deserved this can cause.lolz

TonyeBarcanista:
The law has been fulfilled, nailed on the cross and done with. Even while it persist, it only applies to Israel, biological descendant's of Abraham. It never applies to you or me or a Briton. It was their own tradition and a shadow of the new covenant

However, the new covenant does not forbid us from keeping customs and traditions of our fathers BUT only forbids us from doing what doesn't glorify God (worshiping idol is one). As an Ijaw man, my tradition permits me to Marry multiple wives...

And even Jesus gave a parable of a groom that was to marry 10 brides... Shouldn't that mean polygamy isn't forbidden? Does that ring a bell?

Yes I can relate. Though you will agree with me that so many things is wrong with our customs and traditions that needs amendments. Though it was used by our forefathers does not mean we continue in it if it has no positive impacts in the modern society today. I don't buy into polygamy personally because I have no usefulness for it. I can't comprehend marrying multiple wives where I can get what I am looking for in one woman. Moreover I don't believe you can ever balance two women equally in their treatment except you are Jesus.

midnighter:
Yes, that's right. A practising Christian man has no business with polygamy.

We can hope that the person has some kind of Christian conscience, but I was just pointing out that he is not bound by law to indulge it.

So like you named it, the "Christian man's problem" actually has a solution and a wife would be foolish to totally discount it when it's a distinct possibility.

The Christians of today are the most hypocritical set of human being on this earth. We can easily quote the bible when he suits us but won't obey the word of God when we have selfish interest from our exploits. You see a Christian condemning polygamy but he is soft when it comes to fornication and adultery. When I see them dancing in church like Angels and you know some of them to be devil's incarnate. I am even getting tired of that place called Church because the teachings every Sundays is not making any positive impact in people's lives that I can see or verify. People are only getting more wicked. If you know otherwise please let me know.

I was actually against polygamy before now until I made research and found out the Jesus did not condemned it while on earth here. I believed you are all aware that people marry more than one wives during Jesus time and he never cause them of rebuke them. He only told them about being adulterous is something that will not be accepted. Moreover he said it that : Matthew 5:17-18 Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them. I tell you the truth, until heaven and earth disappear, not the smallest letter, not the least stroke or a pen, will by any means disappear from the Law (the Old Testament) until everything is accomplished.
So since he didn't come to abolished the law they already have in which most of it were given to them by the prophets before him while should he condem it ratherv made adjustment as He deem fit. For the Christian marriage it is clear already the only ground you can deny your spouse sex which Tonye has stated already. If you do otherwise, even Christ will abandon you when your calamity starts.

Hamachi:
Taking myself back to the reason I became a single mother.. Hmmmmm let's travel down there shall we .
Once Upon a time, I became a single mom at 25, my baby will be 7 yrs by February. I never choose this path but I had a failed marriage because of the inability to bear children and the marriage was just 2 years. He left and remarried someone else. When pastors, parents and friends intervened, he told everyone bluntly that he cannot stay with a barren woman. His Dad called me a man. His exact words. My son can't be married to a man. I had just diploma then and I remembered how he robed that on my face saying I am cursed in so many ways. I can't be pregnant and I can never ever be a graduate.

I picked those words and was determined to build myself up. I used my handwork which is catering. I cooked for occasions, bake and hawk snacks to earn a living. Afterwards, I was able to save and get admission. I continued with the hustling as I do take snacks to school to sell and then hawk weekends and go from church to church to get snacks and food contract.

Second year into school, I almost lost my admission as I couldn't save up to my school fees and few days to exams, I had no hope. That was when I met the father of my baby. He assisted and became a good friend. We weren't dating but on his birthday, he paid for cake, snacks and peppered meat. He also invited me for his birthday which I attended. After the party around 2am, I couldn't go home so he gave me his sitting room to sleep.
He was a free man and so was I. Honestly, I made the move for sex and he turned me down but with so much pressure from me, he gave in.
I became pregnant and he was there all through.
After 2yrs, I couldn't marry him when he popped the question and reason being that; I wasn't in love, I still haven't gotten over my ex and I was still in depression and above all, I never wanted to marry him out of pity so he left.
It's been years, he doesn't call or assist in any way but I thank God because today,
I am happy
I am out of depression
I'm no more living in the past
The people that called me barren today, I proved then wrong
And 5yrs today, I became a graduate.
Life hasn't been easy but I keep thanking God everyday.
If asked if I will want to go through that path again, my answer will be NO.
Reason is; I want to take good care of the one God gave me. I wish to give her everything I never had, at least, the basic things. The struggles I went through because I had no one to support me to go to school nor cater for my baby, I don't want her to go through that and I don't want to go through that myself.
All I wish for is; life should be better so that we both can be completely happy.

I just read ur comments now and I feel u created ur situation now by urself. U got pregnant for a guy and he stay through to you and proposed aftwards and yet u didn't accept him because u are still into ur ex even after two years . now I understand why they say everyone is responsible for his failure or success story in life. With what you did to him, u still want him to have anything to do with you? Hmmmm let me just keep mute..

Hamachi:

I can't stop laughing here. They should dance as if their life depends on it ba.. All these just to get a husband..I swear women have suffered

PerfectMatchNG:
How do you verify these stories?

The truth is there is no best method to use in selecting the worthy winner because most can't be verified. Except you want to hire a private investigator to investigate their claims physically which will means going overboard in your spendings. Just choose with your instinct but take note to disregard those that created their accounts after your post.