[b]I do not get it peeps, where do you get such friends from? hell or what. Friends you tell your business to should be close friends, selected few, not your classmates,co-workers,neighbours, church members, club members, roomates,flatmates,housemates etc. I had been bitten by the so called friend thingy but i had to learn and that happened way back when i was still young and naive. Today i have fewer friends and i can categorically say i can count on most of them to give me good advise when i have issues in my relationship. Besides am old enough to know a good advice from a bad one. Most times you do not go to them for advice its just for reassurance, for someone to back you up on your plans or intentions. I must say here that many atimes i have made up my mind about somethings but by discussing with my good, knwoledgeable (God bless them) friends i have turned around and done the opposite, which at the end paid off. There are certain things you do not see when you are in a relationship, your good friends can point them out to you and offer solutions to solving them.

Friends are meant to watch your back. I would disassociate with any friend of mine who sees me getting into something bad and keeps queit about it just because she does not want to get in my business with my man. Thats absolute crap to me, relationships maybe temporary, but friendship is everlasting. my loyalty is to my friends, boyfriend or no boyfriend, when he goes tomorrow who do you turn to?? pls lets not paint our friends who have good intentions in this light, i have been in the receiving end of this crap and it hurts. Friends should give their advice/opinions etc its left for you to take it or leave it.[/b]

@poster

Nice pix. I am indeed a lover of that city too. Its so peaceful!!! just give Abuja some few years and it will be better than Washington DC. I tell you. I cannot wait to move down there, will possibly give an arm or a leg to go. Am so fed up with Lagos, dirtiest city i have seen in my entire life, Accra that is just nearby is like heaven compared to lagos. Unruling people, dirtiest set of human beigns alive today live in Lagos. Well like our dear former minister of FCT El-Rufia said "if you are not gianfully employed then do not come to Abuja" if you read and make sense of the statement you would not suffer or have to go live in karo/kubuwa/yanya/bwari/dutse/suleja/gwagwalada. You would come prepared. Its a city for the rich/gainfully employed.

This high cost of leaving however is not peculiar to Abuja only, most capital cities are like that. Most people who work in Washington DC for instance, live in Bethseda, Baltimore, Virginia and the like, its expensive to live in DC too. Lodon is the same thing they live outside the city, hertfordshire, dartford,crayford, hays,romford, ilford, essex,etc just go to waterloo station one evening and see the distance some city workers cover everyday. So my peeps Abuja is not an exception. Go prepared and you would get a lovely house in Wuse 2, Asokoro, maitama, area 11 and co.

For those of you abroad thinking of relocating back home, you have heard me, work hard, save your money and get there as fast as you can. Its a city filled with a lot of opportunities (as per business, do not know about employment) there is room for much more. Forget Lagos, its saturated.

Yeah! one bad thing i noticed though, good road network but why are there sand/grasses in the middle of the roads. No proper finishing. You would hardly find sand on the roads in most developed cities, they could plant flowers or do something to those places i guess, JUlius Berger and the other contractors should be ashamed of their work. Nobody bothers to inspect the roads when they finish or are the inspectors blind i really wonder. If you know anyone in power there, please draw their attention to this.

Secondly, There is enough room to have four/six lanes of roads at least, why are they doing two dual carriage roads pls, dont they have foresights, thats why lagos traffick is so terrible, do they think the population in abuja will never increase these are my own negative observations about the town.

ABUJA FOR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@poster

Am so dissapointed you didnt get it. Its so unfair!!! but my guy i thought we did cover a bit of that aspect when you were preparing to go. Read through your previous thread. If you were not sure of the question you should have asked him to explain. "status" what do you mean pls? it could be marital, social or whatever status. They are human beigns too so he would have thrown more light there. Gush!!!! like they say, na God dey give person US Visa there is no hard and fast rule to their ways. make sure you do not deny the fact that you applied before, if asked subsequently,whether the passport was stamped or not they have your application online. They keep tight record of everything. See this scenario: my friend applied for visa in 1999, he was denied, he applied in 2002 with a different passport, was also denied, then comes 2007, he was already schooling in the Uk, applied there, with his new passport with Uk student visa on it. They brought out his past records for him to see. The date of birth did not correspond. That was it for him o!. They keep record.

Well good luck in your new application.

Nairalanders!!!!!! you guys can crack ones ribs with laughter.

I would visit the central bank of nigeria and loot all the foreign reserves they have there. (dollars, pounds and euros) all of it. that would take me about 10mins. the remaining 50mins would be dedicated to my shagging Thierry Henry in Spain ( the guy go confuse e nor go know wetin hit am) and going through the minds of my loved ones and friends to see and know exactly what they feel and think about me. Wouldnt you want to know?

almondjoy:

No, not everyone should be married at 26. I just used it as an example to show the poster that she is a little behind in life's experiences. Especially because she lacks an adventurous spirit and is afraid to communicate her needs to her love interest. Who says the man has to make the first move?

Yes, It could be early or late, as long as you get it right and feel comfortable. Everyone understands that. Just trying to let the poster know that it is okay to ask questions. The reason the guy may not be warming up to her is probably because she acts a little "shy".

Thanks for clarifying. It makes sense now. Poster really does need to wake up and take charge of her love interest. She is definately old enough to know what she wants.

Why can't you marry your mate? if you guys are good together there is nothing wrong. You are supposed to marry your friend, so would you leave the babe/guy when everything is rossy just because she is your mate? that would be crazy!Respect yourself and your partner would respect you in return.Simple.

I would have been too good asking guys out. Bad Toaster!!!! i would have been polite, gentle, mannered, cultured etc inshort everything the guys are not today. I would have gone for the tall, dark, huge/slim, well groomed, good looking guys. Very clean, no hip hop looking guy, i love men in corporate clothes, smells of power, which is a major attraction for me. Correct clothes o! (not gabadin trousers and 2k packet shirt and CMS Bus stop ties). I would love a good dresser any day, even if he isnt all that facially. He must have good hygiene habits, well manicured nails and pedicured toes. Would also go for those with strands of grey hair!!!!!!!!!!!!!love it. My Sexy Grey!! Well if he isnt trim not too bad he should be well proportioned. i really do not like the stomach protuding more than the whole body. If you are big be big all over. Then lets come to diction. A good clear voice (particular about that too), fluent in English and if he has an accent it must be a good one. (I like the northern accent). He should have a decent job that pays his bills at least and must be a christian.

So those are the things i would be looking out for when toasting a guy. Hope its not too long poster!!!!

@webmonk

Thanks for your comment. Thats my thought for you, mostly from my experience though. Which am sure is not much different from most ladies. You really do not have to answer some replies, "source" is it everything that must have a source? can't one write from experience you shouldn't have bothered.

Take care!!!

almondjoy:

Okay! If you insist! I will come out of "retirement just for you". You should be married by now whether--male or female. I think you need to talk to your mom. Something is definitely wrong somewhere. By 23 most should be thinking of marriage not how to introduce romantic topics--should have mastered that at 21 and not be afraid to ask questions online. What will you do when you guys are living in the same house? ---Become a doormat? Toughen up and go for what you want. The answer will be yes or no. Move to the next favorable alternative---always have a back up plan when you are "still searching". Never all eggs in one basket ma dear! Never let anyone intimidate you ok? Goodluck!

Whoever said you must be married at age 26 is like saying at age 80, you should be dead.
Everyone has their different timings ok. It could be early or late, whatever works for them. So take note.

@poster

Don't understand this post. How are they clueless? or in what are they clueless? you have to be specific dear. Is it in relationships or in bed (maybe the guy nor know where and how to turn you on) let us know o!!!

Initial Stage: Fine boy meets fine Girl
At this stage there are so many feelings, waoh!!! the green light /redlight signals begin to fly. Green is a sign of approval, red is a no no sign. The girl starts to flirt or talk and act in a sexy way (according to a won boyz she starts forming). They are introduced, they gist a little , boy gets her numbers, promises to call etc

2ND STAGE: He actually calls or sends a text to find out if she gets home safely!!!! (like say nor be the same road she don dey pass for donkey years) If the irl likes him she is tripped (thats so thoughtful of him) The truth about most women is that from the first meeting she knows if she likes you enough or not. We just relax and let him show us the stuff he is made of. Then more calls between the parties, e-mails,text messages, etc

3RD STAGE: the date, fun part. after much talking on the phone and they have come to know eachother relatively well, then the date comes up. They go somewhere nice and exclusive (brothers please learn from this, do not take your date to the cinema on the first date, you would not get her full attention) go to a nice and queit place where you can observe each other very well, talk, and talk communication is the key, ask questions if you think you want to be with this woman and vice versa.
This stage however may take a very long time depending on those involved. The boy makes his intentions known, she says she will think about it etc or maybe outright yes!!!! (that will be the day rite!!!)

4TH STAGE: More phone calls, more outings, exchange cards, little gifts, the babe finally agrees to date him or they just start off without further much a do then the FIRST KISS!!!! (thats if parties are flowing of course) this is usually the best for me o!!! those new, soft and succulent lips (thats mostly because bobo don take e time brush the mouth, lick some mint, trim those beards that usual prick ur skin) hmmmn well maybe hands, maybe not (depends on parties too) the current that flows in this stage can actually power kainji damn men!!!! and there would be no power outage for 10weeks

5TH STAGE: here it varies some people go ahead make love here depending on how much self control they both have some wait until much later, the babe leads the guy on, being there and not going all the way, he gets frustrated with longing for her, this stage actually separates the boys from the men and the women from the girls. For some guys the longing starts from day one, so if nothing happens at this stage they are already very frustrated and would most likely bail out. This stage is very aggressive, the guy wants to score every time he gets her alone, he is always over her body, pulling, tugging, carassing, babes, i need you, cant you see that, i want you, you mean the world to me, lets get down it doesnt and would not change anything, we belong together already, stop beign old fashioned, what are you hoading it for, i can get it elsewhere its just that i like you thats why, Let me just use the tip only, ok just the surface, i would not go inside i promise, ok give me a Mouth Action, just make me come Goddamnit!!!! ALL STORIES!!!!!! all sorts of promises, fights, quarrels come up here.

6TH STAGE: if you made it throughin the 5th stage then you have become closer by now, more friends than ever. she now knows your weaknesss and you defiantely know hers too. You are waxing stronger getting to learn your likes and dislikes, your fears, ambitions, needs, wants, dreams, families, friends, co workers etc here the guy can move mountain to be with you, he closes from work in good time, no working late moves, he spends his whole time with the babe inshort evrything is all about the babe, what she likes and what she wants, more kisses ,more smoochings (little princess) hmmn (the lady thinks) how nice of this gentleman, he is so different GOd i thank you!!!!!!!!!!

7TH STAGE: The babe completely trust this man. She decides its time to move things to the next level, correct!!!! lets get freaky. she throws caution to the wind and enjoys herself with her man. They are both absolutely delighted, the feeling is mutual. At this stage, the current here can power kainji damn times 3 times. There would never be power outage in naija for a year!!!!!!!

8TH STAGE: More sex, getting closer, little fights here and there, i called you you didnt pick up, where were you girl/boy?? you said you were coming at 6pm waited to 10pm, you never called to say why you didnt show up? whats wrong with you? why are you cold to me? parties become very emotional and touchy. every little thing affects ones feelings, na wa o!!!

9TH STAGE: The sex is still there but not constant like it used to be because one party is always angry at the other or depressed/tired. He has definately stopped calling every hour, he calls for 5mins now 2wice a day, morgnx and night. There is nothing much to talk about. She is gettin worked up, wondering where that gentleman has gone, he is wondering where the soft spoken babe he met is, not this nagging B, ch dat has her mouth permanently in a pout, hissing and squeezing all the time except when in bed. Here it varies some couple might be able to patch things up and rekindle their love some might just let it die completely they realise they are not compartable, or that he/she is a moselem/christain and they do not want that, or he is yoruba, she is igbo, cant tell my mum that, he is too short for me, she is too fat for me, he is not ambitious enough for me, she is too ambitious for me, she is talking about marriage and am definately not ready for that, she wants to tie me down, she is pregnant, she needs to do a d & c, she says over her dead body, he keeps hanging out with other girls or she is always out with other males all claiming they are just my friends, she is always asking for money, he is too stingy etc

10TH STAGE: some may make it through the 9th stage, resolve their differences here, learn to compromise and actually tolorate the other. They start afresh, they start to move the relationship to the next level, [[color=#990000]b]Marriage!![/b]!! good pple. its no guaranty it will work anyway. For others its the Break up[/color]. They give up on their once shared love, friendship and become enemies or sometimes still good enough friends. Every promise made is completely shattered. Whoever initiates the break up carries the blame (i always wonder why) when the hand writing has been on the wall since genesis!!!! parties completely change here, their friends and family begin to wonder its usually painful. sometimes its for the best but just maybe you have just lost your potential wife/husband to be and you probably would not find someone that good again or maybe you would get a better deal, who knows. Welcome to the world of uncertainties!!!!!!! some people avoid breaking up because of this, they say the devil you know is better than the angel you do not knw.

This stages are not conclusive, for those of you who would like to criticize. It would be impossible to type all i have to say in 2days so lets keep it short and simple. Enjoy!

Very funny post and straight to the point answers. I hope the poster knows now what he feels for his woman cuz its definately not love. If i may add, normal guys usually do not compalin about women's height its usually the other way round. Or is she fat? even at that, its the personality that counts not the appearance.

Leave this guy alone ok. There are many guys out there. You are obsessed, its not love anymore ok. You have crossed the line. Get help pls!

Vicjustice:

Would you vote for me if i contest for presidency in Nigeria? You won't vote for me, you'd rather vote for someone who speaks your language. So, how do you want me to help the country?

You do not know me so do not jump to conclusions about me ok. I only gave you an advice, which is optional. Mind you, you do not have to be a leader to make a difference. You ought to know that. Its all in your zeal, finance etc if you feel badly about the way something is being done, try to make a difference simple. If its on a policy, find a lawmaker, take it up with him, reason things out.You can visit their office at Abuja. Play your part, eventhough it does not work, just satisfy your conscience. I have attended several Nigerian conferences abroad (naijas in the diasporal) these set of people do not in anyway like whats happening here in naija, they get together, discuss, come out with a communica which by lobbying in the government office, residence etc they manage to pass their communica across. At first it was not getting anywhere but today, i can tell you that the government calls some of them to come and help out with things they do not have ideas or ready know how. Moral of the story my bros, little drops of water makes an ocean. Start making your contributions you never know. You can start by writing comments in the national dailies etc just be positive ok.

@papabrowne

thanks for replying to the post i guess you hit the nail on the head. We are all competitors. Its even evident in the post, most people are busy, have no time to reply to such rubbish. I do agree with you that the cities leave one with nostalgic memories!!! i love the city life too, can't stay away. But a more realistic and very well planned cities like Abuja, Washington DC, Accra to mention a few would most definately work for me.

Have a great day mate!!

Lorenxo:

The name of my childhood crush was Ada Kalu.
We were then living at Akerele Street,Bodija,Ibadan.
She was about 5 years old and I was about 9 years old.
She was very pretty and she taught me about sex .
That is why I cannot forget her .She had a senior sister known as Ndo Kalu.
Ndo too tried to put my kini into her hole but we were prevented from doing it by their half brother who wanted a piece of the action.
The family left for the east during the Nigerian civil war and I never heard of them again since.
We too packed away from the area.

Imagine when I was about 52 years and I was managing in a face-to-face room in Lagos.
I heard some knocks on my door one morning and upon opening the door what did I saw,hey presto ,I saw a 7 years old son of my neighbour putting his kini inside the toto of the landlord's 5 years old girl and using my curtain to pretend as if they are playing the Boju-Boju play of the youruba kids.
Immediately I remember my own Ada Kalu of 1963 and I did not tell their parents because I was equally guilty of the same when I was a child.

Try and be discreet now haba!!! if you are using their real names its just not nice to go this far. Thats too much information. This can be read by anybody maybe their parents or even husbands. Please do not make this kind of mistake again pls.

What a topic!!!! i remember mine, we grew up together childhood friends, family friends. Did i let him know, course yes as early as age 4, it was mutual anyway, grew up he gave me my first kiss at 16. How i remember, we grew up went to different schools, moved towns and countries. Really do not know where he is now but if i do find him hmmmn the rest is History hopefully!!

Strip club with your wife!!!! that would be something!!!! why dont you organise one in your bed room instead. sounds like fun to me!!!

Do check out les scala (not too sure of the spelling) its an exclusive resturant at muson centre, onikan lagos. walk in there and ask they would show uou where it is, its continental. very posh and expensive, (N4,500 per person)she would be tripped. or go to a chinese returant, lots of those in lagos now, marcopolo, VI, Mr Chang, Awolowo road, ikoyi(about say 10k for the two of you) or simply do buffet at Sheraton (3,700 per person) its classy too. those are the ones i can vouch for.yeah planet one ikeja is good too. Ocean view, lagoon resturant, eko le meridian, buffet. Golden gate, kingsway road ikoyi (dunno if they are still good, used to be)

You could go hang out at swe bar, city mall, onikan after dinner, its best there on thursdays. or balck pearl, akin adesola, VI, News cafe at the palms, lekki. They do some dance dance at some of these joints too. Londoners at ikeja GRA oduduwa cresecent.

For clubs, whatever works for you, reloaded, awolowo way, ikoyi ( too many young bloods), inshort drive down that road you will see somewhere to go, coconut groove, etc Balck pearl too can be good, i know some members only clubs too but you dont want that.


Do have fun and best regards to the lucky MRS!!!!! many more happy years to come for her Amen.

I would say mine is that am too trusting. I like to give people the benefit of doubt. I have been burnt severally but i cannot seem to help but believe people!!! whoelse would you believe if not human beigns? i wonder? maybe i should turn to animals since they obviously seem to do better in this department, dogs are loyal right!!! LOL

I really do not believe there is just one right person for you, its simply discipline and commitments that makes one stay put. double dating if you are not sexually involved with the partners could be okay.

@shugalump,

Baby gal, am not far from your age so is my boyfriend. I even believe older people do it more. Its a shame but think of it this way, age is just a number it doesnot bring about maturity, its your experience in life that brings maturity. So he maybe 100yrs old and still behave like a twart.

Well i maybe wrong here but i think your approach or should i say your attitude to the whole treatment is the satisfaction he gets. he is trying to burn you up emotionally, he obviously knows you are in love with him and he probably with you but he really doenst know what to do with all that love so he is trying to handle it the best way he thinks by playing games with you. Honey, like i said earlier, am that twisted too. Take an advice from me, Let him be, stop the calls. Get on with your life, totally enjoy yourself, get a new look, meet people, flirt with other guys, go on dates,do gals out, baby gal ROCK YOUR LIFE he would soon start calling when he starts to hear that you are grooving. He wants the challenge so GIVE IT TO HIM. But lastly, if you really love him, dont go sleeping with any other man o!!! just go out ok.

It will work, trust me. if it doesnt then he is not the one.

@poster,

this is so well said. Thank you so much for this. I totally and honestly connect with this post. Its amazing how you can hit the nail on the head sometimes. I am a giver and a die hard receiver of silent treatment. Gosh! you do not know how i fight to win it when being given to me. I would rather loose the friend than break the silence. Do not ask me why?? for i am lost to that answer. I have been like this for ages now. Its simply TOO MUCH PRIDE. i hate to admit it but my pride can fill up a tank. I am so working on it now.

@shugalump,

Yeah i feel you, i have been through that road, one question though, when your man gives you the cold shoulder for say three weeks is that love? i mean can one honestly say he loves you? peeps, we need answers cuz i really wonder. When i do give it i can speak for myself, sometimes its out of love, to correct a wrong (stupid rite) or just a sick little game to see how much i mean to the person (not recommended, its a twisted game, only for psychos)!!! LOL

the point is while you are going on with the silence, time is running by, your partner could be involved in something bad, like was said in an earlier post, or something good like in my friend's case,  she fell in love with someone else, he lost a good woman all for nothing.

Silent treatment from my boyfriend is still affecting our relationship till date, he played it with the wrong person, we both refused to relent in a long while and lost all that time. Lets hope we pull through. If you are into this just like i was, please stop in God's name its evil.

@vicjustice,

Are you nigerian? if you are then i must say this: Feeling sorry for your motherland is not going to help much ok. We all need to play our parts, no matter how insignificant it seems but be sure to know its helping someone, somewhere in the country. Think of something to make a difference or help out okay. Sorry would not do much. Its a jungle out here, survival of the most connected (yeah, thats how it works here). Take care you!

Its just an observation and am seriously wondering, why are people in major cities like New york, London, Paris, Lagos to mention a few, so rude and non chalant. Most people in these cities are always in a rush, they do not have time to point out directions to tourist or even exchange pleasantries. If you are in trouble in these cities you are solely on your own. Nobody cares really!

Was stranded once at Jfk Airport New york, missed my flight, i went through hell. Got lost in Paris, in the freezing cold, drove round the city, could not get help till the last minute, got stranded cash wise at a station in London, was horrible!!! mugged in Lagos, no help at all.

Peeps, share your experience here.

Abuja - Lagos by ABC Transport Company (coach) (luxurious bus) is between N3,500 - N5,000

There are some cheaper ones, chisco, ekene, cross country etc

Kolomental!!!!!!!!!!!!

This site keeps me informed, it keeps me company when am bored, it challenges me also, getting to know what my mates are up to in this competitive world we live in, it gives me clear insight as to how intelligent, dull, screwed up, naughtyand witty Nigerian youths far and wide can be. I enjoy the contributions here, some people are really helpful, some are down right rude and nasty but thats what makes it NAIRALAND. Loving it!!