Kool players!!!!! one question for you lots: can a babe date two guys in the same office? if she can, then i have no quarlms with you dating two babes in the same office.

@poster,

Hey you!! how are we doing today? good you noted that problem. You are definately on your way to changing that. How is the man doing? not to worry he would treat you like a princess, you know, you will get away with alot of things cuz he would attribute them to the fact that you are young. Wouldnt you like that!!!!!!!!! the advantages of dating an older guy are numerous babes. The major disadvantage is the "been there, done that" attitude they tend to have towards things that you just might be crazy about right now.He definately will not share your craze for say RAP MUSIC, CLUBBING, HANGING IN JOINTS WITH YOUR FRIENDS, GOING SHOPPING FOR CLOTHES, TALKING ABOUT FASHION: WHATS IN WHATS OUT, BOWLING, CINEMA, PARTYING ETC. But if he is patient he just might pay attention to you and all the above but get prepared for him not bothering with those ok. He would most likely not seek your opinion when its time to make important decisions, you have to prove yourself for him to take you seriously.

Above all, it is well ok.

~~~~ THEY SAY NEVER SAY NEVER~~~~ so those of you saying NEVER you would probably eat your words sooner or later.

Cheating is not something you set your mind to do, it just happens. The fact that you love one person does not mean you wouldnt find others attractive or maybe love them too. Its just the way it is. You can cheat physically or emotionally (which is most common) i.e you are with one person and you secretly love another or miss another. Am sure those of you saying NEVER are guilty of no.2

Those of us guilty of CHEATING are not devils, we just didnt have the necessary self control at that time. So do not judge us ok. You maybe next.

@siena, boy i must say you look hot at 39. How do you manage that? Keep it up!!!

The older the wine, the better the taste. If you guys flow, why not. MARRY the guy ok. You love him, dont you? so whats the biggy? you care too much about what pple say, thats a problem for you to address. Follow your heart babes, it will lead you to the right place. Good luck.

Someone said something about it being against our culture. WHICH CULTURE IN PARTICULAR IF I MAY ASK?? its just a social thingy for guys as far as i know. Culture does not say jack about it at least my own culture- EDO.
Even where the culture says so, are there no instances where you defy culture e.g would you marry your late father's wife for real today? how many pple would cut their hair i mean skin cut when there is a death in the family?? would you kill a cow/goat when an older person falls down? just like you defy these you can do the same for your partner and WASH THE DAMN UNDERWEAR (PANTS,BRAS, WAISTSLIPS ETC)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Na wa for you guys o! How can you say you cannot wash your partners undies. Is it not the same place you lick with your very own mouth!!!!!!!!!! which is better: washing the wrapper or eating the content? a lot of you are just plain native thats all. But of course she should and must wash your boxers. Selfish lots. One of you even said maybe when she is dead!!!!!! very primitive man. Wake up guys!!! its absolutely nothing.

Nosilla,

I really feel your frustration. Am in a relationship with a guy like yours. He is not romantic at all. People say teach him and he would learn, i have done that. No result too. He forgot my birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!can you imagine that. He does not reply to text messages, inshot i really cannot type all the rubbish but still i love him. You want to know why?? his person. He has a good heart, a very mature guy. He treats people around him with respect, he would go out of his way to satisfy his friends, he tells the truth most times, doesnt womanise, he is loyal, God fearing, inshort alot of things most guys aren't.

The bad part is just this romantic thinggy. And you know what? it matters alot to me. I need that cuddle, those soft words (sweet nothings), exchange of gifts, lovely text messages etc those inexpensive things babes. But there are so expensive with him. He even gets upset when i complain. Am always the one giving the tender, love and care in the relationship. Am spent. I have decided to leave it up to him. Am still with him, hoping and praying that he improves. If he doesn't !!!!!!!!! time would tell. Babes, if his advantages out weighs his disadvantages pls keep him, try and understand him better, am as frustrated as you are but i have come to understand that there are no perfect guys out there, they all have their short commings. Which would you rather be with: a womanising dog or unromantic lover

The word my sister is MANAGE, thats my lot for now, i hope and pray i can carry on and i beg you to try and do the same BUT there is hope sis: There is another group of women who believe you can get everything you desire, that you shouldn't settle for less when you can get much more. They would tell you to get out while you can and look for Mr. perfect. If you like how this sounds, then i would say you go girl!!!!!! it may work for you. Have been down that road and i got GIZZARDS instead. Good luck sweets and feel free to share your feelings ok.

Before i forget, i learnt that their being unromantic has to do with their upbringing, past experiences, exposure etc (many factors) maybe they were not shown enough love as children.
It could be due to shyness, its also possible that they see it as a weakness. Who knows!!!!!!!

As bad as it may sound, i have. Am not making excuses but, it was inevitable. (long distance relationships are prone to such).

Am a babe and am guilty of this sin. Very much so indeed i even go as far as calling my Boyfriends' attention to things (boobs, ass etc) that i see. Its just a reflex action thats all. You see something that catches your attention you just LOOOOOOKKKKKKKK.

On the contrary, i kind of understand the posters point cuz there was once my Boyfriend saw this cute, very cute small babe in shorts, long endless legs inshort she was hot. He looked at her and said the word CUTE!!!!! in this sexy way that my heart bled LOL. I was hurt that day but i didnt show it. Well i do the same to him when i see very good looking guys. It doesnt mean anything ok. Just let him be and feel free to admire guys in front of him too. Its allowed babes.

Mature couples will have no problem with that. If he doesnt allow her to go clubbing on her own then he should get ready to follow her to work, the market/shops, school, even the loo cuz she might meet guys anywhere and everywhere. Being in a relationship is not bondage as far as i am concerned. You still have the right to socialize, provided you know your limits. I do go clubbing with my female friends and we just go there to dance, my man understands that, he doesnt really like clubbing so he cannot stop me, for i do not stop him from doing things he enjoys. Its all about understanding eachother.

Just this afternoon i went to the ladies to ease my self and finished in a hurry cuz the palce wasnt too tidy. Only for me to get back to my office and was immediately called by my boss. I noticed he was looking below my belt (in my head i was wondering seriously) only for me to leave him and notice that my fly was down, oh!!!! i wanted the ground to open and swallow me. He never mentioned anything but i just wonder what he would have seen.

What you feel is perfectly normal ok. Just do not go through with your feelings cuz you would hurt your galfriend infact if they are good friends you would loose both of them. Control your emotions, you can get to know her, not alone of course, you may find out things you may not like about her. Just play it safe, cuz this is really too close to Home, if you catch my drift!

Sorry i cant help you much more but i completely understand your situation ok.

Couldnt stop laughing some people here can crack someone. The truth dear Poster is that LAGOS (of all places) does not have a romantic place/park. People never see place to sleep na to make park!!!!!!!!!!!  only nice joints you go see or beach. Gbenga_9ja gave you some really kool places. You should be grateful to him. Try those places ok and save your gal the hassles. I personally do not see the beach as romantic, not one to stay for more than an hour at most. Its boring!!!!! but i love those Bars Gbenga_9ja mentioned. For the mainland try
LONDONERS, PLANET ONE, SHERATON (these are my best). or METRO PARK, LA CHOCHETTE (for pple that like noise)

Well if you insist on the park, take a flight to Abuja and go to Millenium Park. It could be well worth it  There are some resorts (Delta state, Cross river, Pleautu, Bauchi, etc) but they are all out of lagos so what do you do?

Better still, cook her dinner at home (candle light) with soft R & B music playing in the background, Cool surroundings you know, a lot more might happen!!!!!!!!!!!! GOOD LUCK

Babes i dunno about this o! i think guys naturally are possessive they do not like sharing, am shocked these ones do not mind. may be na your luck sha but i doubt it. They may both not take you seriously. If one was under G now i would understand. Have you seen a woman with two husbands before? especially in our African Society.

babes, why do you fancy this guy? if its something you can make your boyfriend emulate then try to make him do those things. If not, weigh the options babes then decide. I have been thru this same shit before, i chose my boyfriend at the end. Its just a crush or lust, it will blow over okay just do not get carried away. Avoid him like the plague!!! He probably knows you fancy him already so he would be flirting like mad. Ignore him and he would stop giving you the green light. Ask me where my Mr. Gorgeous (thats they guy i was trippin for then) is now? Gone with the wind. Take it easy ok and do not mind those calling you names, its only natural!!!

Black dudes of course!!! Black is beautiful!!! light skinned pple just irritate me more when am angry. When they annoy me i always feel like squashing their heads. Though these brothers have the advantage of looking like "AJE BUTTERS" even when they are not. Which is kool !!!!

Na wa o! dunno why a guy will be single when he has everything the ladies are looking for. I find it strange. I met a man like that, he is 43yrs old not married and has never been. He is good looking, posh and rich. He is not gay cuz he did have a relationship with a gal that i knew about. He just says he is not the marrying type, imagine!!! If the ones we all admire are refusing to settle down then what do we do pple?

Babes, Do not snatch o! for what goes around comes around. If he truely loves and wants to be with you, he would come calling. Men always know what they want unlike us (very considerate and sentimental). Keep it kool and pray he comes your way.

Was actually going to say why did she not tell her man before marriage and all. Thats wrong no doubt and am sure she knows it already. Well since they are both believers, they should continue to pray for a miracle or adopt a child. You know God will never give you problems that you cannot solve. Am sure He would give them the strength to go thru with the problem.

I can say she didnt mean any harm. Its only natural for one to react like that. If i were in her shoes i would definately do the same. Hairdressers are very careless, i can imagine contacting HIV from the saloon. WOULD DEFINATELY KILL THE PARTICULAR HAIR DRESSER. I went to a saloon here in lag and the hairdresser was using a used razor to  loosen someones weave-on. When i asked why? she replied "No be just thread sister, i no touch the head" what if a mistake occurs?? million dollar question. For those who loosen their weave-on in the saloon, be careful too. The essence of Betty's message is for all to be aware and be careful, nothing should be taken for granted. I do not see it as discriminatory. Caution thats all she is preaching.

:d

Just like some have wondered, do they have access to the internet in prison? which prison be dat? if your story is really true why not investigate and find out the truth first. If he is doggey in anyway then leave him if not stick by him through this rough ride. Thats what friends are for. Am pretty sure you know where he stands. For you to have dated him you must know him to an extent. So on which side of the fence do you think he stands??

slimfine:

I have a step mom, But my dad loves me sooooooooooo much that I don't even pay her any attension. Our startegy is, when I make her mad, she doesn't speak to me and I don't speak to her. Now that am in Yanki with my mom, I am like daughther she never had. Anyway, I am nice to her because of my dad. I just want him to happy.
I hope to not have my children deal with this step shit!!

Oh yah, did I forget. I now have a step dad being that I live with my mom who is now married to another man. drama, drama but I no wan go that side because this is yanki. I can choose not to deal with that whole mess.

Babes, a step dad!!! wonder how that will be. I guess if my mum remarries now that am all grown up and wise i probably wouldnt frett about it. I hope you guys try to get along. It will hurt your mum more if you do not. She would be torn between you two. Take it easy and get to know him if you can. Am sure it wouldnt be as bad as having a Stepmum.

Nice one! They fear their own shadows too.

Chill out sis, na competition?? He loves you, congratulations.

Silly, am guud! been busy at work.

Interesting replies so far!!!! i would say what works for one does not for the other. Babes, i personally feel you would know somehow. Your instincts would tell you especially when he respects and treats you good. To get some tips go listen to "WHEN A MAN LOVES A WOMAN" by Michael Bolton

This post should have come under Entertainment not Romance.

I definately love both cannot pick one over the other. Its like saying pick between Lost and Prison Breaks!!!!!!!

@poster

Na wa O! which kind cock and bull story be all that. I have got mail friends and i do not go off to sleep in their houses, what for anyway your babe has definately got something to hide. Its either she is seeing the guy or he is asking her out and she likes him. From experience i have learnt that the opposite sex cannot just be close friends. Something is bound to happen some day. Its either the guy makes a move and she gels or she fights him off for good, no matter how long it takes. All my male friends have tried me one way or the other. If i were a guy i wouldnot buy her story o! sorry. Tell her to tell you the truth and stop fooling around. Dont get me wrong, she can have male friends (as in guys she can chat and hang out with) but definately not going to thier homes to sleep over.

@silly
whats up?

ok, ready to help. Go out now, go to the westend, Oxford street, go shopping, by the time you walk from the beginning to the end of the street you must see 1000 or more fine babes. find a reason to chat to any that you fancy, you could meet her in the shops while she is picking something, pretend to be interested in the same for your Mum or so, beg her to help out. Even offer to pay her. if you are sharp the rest will be history o!

Or go clubbing, dont you live in town? Its even easier to meet babes in the clubs. look for a good club (not current about clubs now). Some nairalanders here can help with that. Or better still Naija clubs if you want naija babes. dunno if cynthia's is still ok at Tooley St, London bdge. The problem with them be say them too dey form. Go big sha!(designers clothes and a really nice ride) you fit hammer. Try going for parties with your mail friends, some birthday bash here or there. Do you hang out at the pubs after work? you could meet gals there too.

Another alternative na church. Try KICC Hackney. There you will meet your wife if you are true to yourself i can guarantee you. So good bye loneliness, welcome happiness!!!

ajayi1:

Who?

which one be your own? your name na "WHO" i say d "Who" know himself o! e get eye so e go see am.

@ajayi1, We are all not dating the same guy so what will cause the trouble there?? people are different. What guy A does, guy B may neglect, but maybe good or best in the other thing guy A does not do. We only share our experiences. No need 4 envy/betrayal. There is no perfect man out there. Mature women should know that already. You guyz should get over yourselves, stop feeling important not every discussion is about you guyz. Its a long list i gave you earlier.