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Bisiswag's Posts

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Investment / Re: Treasury Bills In Nigeria by bisiswag(f): 2:20pm On Jun 27
Omonigeriarere:


I walked down straight to Stanbic IBTC branch at Alausa, Ikeja today and the rates given were as indicated below:

91 days = 16.3%

182 days = 17.44%

364 days = 20.6%

Please note that the rates are susceptible to daily changes.
Thanks . I wanted to know if they debit without crediting upfront. I know GTB does that but stanbic has debited me and yet to credit me upfront.
Investment / Re: Treasury Bills In Nigeria by bisiswag(f): 2:00pm On Jun 27
Goodafternoon house. Please per secondary markets. Was anyone debited and not credited? Stanbic IBTC
Crime / Re: How I Was Falsely Accused Of Stealing A Guy's Genitals Yesterday by bisiswag(f): 3:49pm On Nov 11, 2023
Kalatium:
No sooner was I on my way leaving the market, after buying all what I need and ticking all the items on my list than a stranger came out of the blue to accuse me of stealing his penis.

I won't say the state this happened.

At first I didn't clearly understood what he meant because he initially said, I should return what left his body.

What looked like a funny claim in my ear turned serious as he started shouting and calling the attention of passers by. People started encircling us and the guy who accused me said we are going to police station, I was like why will I follow you to station when I didn't do anything wrong.

One of the passers by said I should just follow him if I know I am truly Innocent since the station is not far. I had no choice that to follow them to prove my innocence ( the accuser and the passer-by) with many thoughts on my mind.
On our way I resolved to call all the important people I know that can get me out of this mess. I first dialed my dad's number and started explaining what was going on before the guy said I should cut the call that we must go to that station or else he will collect my phone.

Eventually we arrived there, and met two police men inside the station compound, then my accuser started laying claim of his stolen manhood story. I was called to narrate what happened and I told them I just left the market gate after purchasing all I needed from the market only to be falsely accused.

The two officer took us inside the station to write a statement. After the accuser narrated his story once more, one of the officer was laughing.
The police asked what I do for a living and I told him I am a medical Doctor and the hospital I work. He asked the accuser same question who said he is a university student and doesn't stay far from the market. He asked of both our phone numbers and also gave out his number to us. Then he asked the accuser to put his hand in his trouser to confirm if his manhood is there, the guy touched and the manhood was there.

He then started saying that initially he didn't feel anything there that there have been cases like that in his school and that he was shocked that the thing happened to him that's why he dragged the case to the station.

The police then said that he has been hearing about this stealing of manhood and that people can do diabolical things for money. However, it could also be that his mind might be playing tricks on him as such he felt his penis might be missing when it actuality it is actually there.

The police man said I should go that since the guy has confirmed his penis is intact, there is no case. He said I shouldn't be annoyed that if I were in the guy's shoes I might as well do the same . He also said that it could be that it actually happened but me being there at the wrong time and being there when he felt such that he will easily take the person close by as the culprit. I felt relieved but at the same time angry for been falsely accused and my time wasted for something as dumb as this.

When we were going outside the station, the guy who falsely accused me was dragging his foot and kept working very slow such that I was at a far distance in the front. The passer-by that followed us early was apologizing to me, that I shouldn't be angry.

Damn, I was just feeling different emotions. However, I thank God nothing happened to me ( I wasn't hurt and no mob action or jungle justice), nothing was missing and I came back home safe and fine.

My dad who is in another state got worried when I called earlier. If something had happened to me that guy will have had the worst day of his life. The kind of people that will have come for him eh.

There were 2 things on my mind. It's either that guy did it intentionally to put me in trouble or he is delusional ( superstitious) and/or actually suffering from Koro syndrome.

Help move this to Fp so everyone can be aware of this.

📸 Watch this video on Facebook https://fb.watch/ocUjDreYpC/?mibextid=HSR2mg

Thank God for your life @OP
Crime / Re: How I Was Falsely Accused Of Stealing A Guy's Genitals Yesterday by bisiswag(f): 3:48pm On Nov 11, 2023
📸 Watch this video on Facebook https://fb.watch/ocUjDreYpC/?mibextid=HSR2mg
Romance / Re: My Wife Made Me Shed Tears Today by bisiswag(f): 10:52am On Aug 01, 2023
myyansh68:
Women, pls avoid poor Men. And don't be poor urself, if not you can never avoid them.

With pregnancy a lactating mother suffering herself for what? This is hell.
And this Op, sayin this trash will not remember her sufferings immediately luck locate him.
This is when he will realize her boob is saggy.
She have stretch marks .
Big Belly.
Flat ass .
Vagina is too big /wide.
She's no longer beautiful.
She looks older than her age[Why won't she looked like ur grandma, when she's part of the actors trying their best to be the winner in "Squid Game " ?].
And might avoid her with the 5 kids to be with another Woman.



Some Women dy try sheha.
This is what it's takes to be a wife material in Nigerian standard. Enduring pains and sufferingsgrin well I dy wait for devil wer wan try that with my sister.Na me go punish am!!.
Lmao. Omg hahaha, so funny. Damn. BTW your sister is lucky.
Religion / Re: The Hate On White Garment Churches by bisiswag(f): 9:39pm On Jun 25, 2023
otipoju:
Celestial born, Cele raised, Cele raising my kids, Cele till I die.

Ibiyomie and Adeboye are puffed up charlatans who believe their own hype.

Imagine a pastor saying there are demonic psams inside the bible
As in ehn ah ah, father lord, this is unbelievable and the masses gonna swallow his bile hook line and sinker. It is well, I just can't belive this from a Christian heavy weight.
Crime / Re: 3 Nigerian Men To Be Extradicted To US For Sexual Extortion Of A 17-Year-Old Boy by bisiswag(f): 6:42pm On May 04, 2023
JackDaAlienz:
I was a victim of this type of fraud
The only thing that saved me is that I wasn't extorted.

A white milf from Armenia sent me friend request.
Her page looked geniune and legit
She posted pictures of her little son and her family having fun.

Na so I chat with this woman for almost 1 full month. This fine milf was telling me how handsome I am and how she has crush on me.
Like play like play we started sending each other nudes.
God!!! I mumu no be small
I sent many pictures of me naked with standing gbola in different camera angles with my face showing cry
If I send she go send photo of her huge breast photo of her wet kpomo

Na when she insist that I should do video of me moaning and stroking my cock
Na when I begin suspect fowl play
I began digging online to see if her account is actually real.

Later found out it was scammers
They scammed an Armenian single mother made her fall in love and she sent her nudes to them
They used her profile photos to create new profile and act like it's her original page. So they sent me her nudes which made me send my own nudes to them thinking i was sending it to the Armenia milf.

May God save me ooohhhh
Group of hackers are somewhere with upto 13 of my nudes. I keep praying to God to strike whoever it is
Make my nudes no come go viral online one day.
Eyah, and so what they go viral. Don't ever be scared. Everyone na cloth cover us, we all naked. So fear not. Don't ever let anyone blackmail you for a mistake you made. You fell in ***love **** nor be u kee Jeeszus. Lessons learnt so move on with your head high abeg. We don't want another bad incidence. Na d fear dey kill first.

14 Likes 1 Share

Romance / Re: Which Of These Ladies Should I Go For? by bisiswag(f): 7:50am On Apr 20, 2023
Look at them, confused lots. Demeaning women, shouting hakimis name everywhere like their hero yet they are busy seeking advice on whom to be yoked with or maybe whom to subjugate and gaslight in the house to make them feel like men. Safe to say all those who make such demonic comments against women are INCELS. Check that up and don't mention me cos I won't bother replying you!

1 Like

Politics / Re: Oshiomhole Leads Rally With Shouts Of "Jagaban" (Video) by bisiswag(f): 1:01pm On Feb 28, 2023
Zincfingers:
God bless Oshiomole.
He took bullets for Tinubu and his political fortune plummeted.
Look at him today.

Methinks his end goal is Presidency!
Politics / Re: Sirika To Tinubu: President-elect Bola Tinubu, Write Your Acceptance Speech Now by bisiswag(f): 6:49pm On Feb 27, 2023
LegendHero:
No politician in this era can survive the obstacle Asiwaju surmounted if he eventually gets declared by INEC.

--Currency change hardship
--Induced fuel Scarcity
--Muslim-Muslim ticket in an almost 50/50 nation
--Propaganda from some section of CAN
--Propaganda against his person, age, wealth, and etc
--A hostile cabal
--Buhari I don't care attitude
--Some extremely woke Yoruba youth voting against him
--A christian North with mind made up

The North kept their word eventually. The Northern governor are the MVP. It is not easy for them back home too because Buhari government caused lot of damage at some point.

The biggest surprise in the North Central. Who would have imagined Tinubu getting even 25% for Benue and Nassarawa with all the propaganda by some religious bigots. Asiwaju cleared Kogi, Kwara, Niger, and did well in some other states in the NC.

South-South has proven that they have a mind of their own. Akwa Ibom is like a big surprise and even Bayelsa. How do you explain Tinubu winning Jonathan LG.

New alliance have been forged in this election.
Igbo + Northern christian alliance is very strong as seen.
SW + North alliance is very strong too. They exceeded my expectation.
NC + SW alliance cemented
SW + Some SS cemented
SE + Some SS cemented
This your analysis is quite intelligent albeit lacking truth, and it would have been quite accurate if the election was actually free and fair.
Politics / Re: Kogi Youths Fixed Road To Natasha Akpoti’s Hometown Cut Off By Yahaya Bello by bisiswag(f): 9:44am On Feb 25, 2023
Eriokanmi:
I still don't know why Kogi is so unlucky with leadership . Anyway, this is a welcome development. People don wise now. Only Abubakar Audu did well in kogi. Others are looters. How can you deliberately destroy your own house and take the money to invest in burj Khalifa in dubai instead if building a repkica of it in your state? This is madness. Kogi is an amazing tourist state yet, they're too blind to see those potentials.
As in ehn I was quite amazed at the confluence I saw the first time I travelled through that state. Such a beautiful sight to behold, God should pls just show us mercy in this country cos you wonder why and how we keep getting it wrong with our chosen leaders. Someone that rode on him being a youth behaving like a demented old bat, well actions of loosing drowning man.

1 Like

Education / Re: 12-Year-Old Whitney Adeniran Dies At Chrisland High School (Photos) by bisiswag(f): 3:16pm On Feb 12, 2023
360Master:
Chrisland school is run like a typical Nigerian public school with little or no consideration for the safety of the children enrolled in the school. Forget the media hype and the jargons that goes online about the school. They are all lies.

These are some of the things you find when you dig deeper:
1. Zero safeguarding policy implementation
2. Their teachers/staffs are are poorly paid
3. Overpopulation. The children are too many therefore no adequate supervision.
4. Only eye service to government, parents and the ministry of education. Etc.

How can a school of that standard organize an inter-house sports without a fully equipped ambulance and other equipment on ground?

May God comfort the family of the poor 12 years old child who died as a result of the failure of the school management to provide her care.

God protect our children in this part of the world.
Am telling you, so sick. Imagine my kids school after d money paid by parents and they can't pay teachers for 3months, yet they can acquire a drone to cover end of year school party. Like what the hell is wrong with these proprietors? Just a bunch of lies and cover ups these schools are. Feel so sad for her parents. Kai
Business / Re: Confusion As New Naira Note Shortage Takes Toll On Nigerians!! by bisiswag(f): 2:24pm On Jan 28, 2023
stagger:


When did the president launch the currency? When was it rolled out?

You claim to have a brain but you cannot decipher that December 15 till date is NOT three months.
Leave d f***l , besides the ATMs kept dispensing old notes all this while. Haba, this is just pure wickedness.
Family / Re: Husband Catches His Lingerie-clad Wife Waiting For 'date' In Hotel by bisiswag(f): 8:03am On Jan 19, 2023
Nigra:

Is your sister a virgin..ode spewing rubbish
Lmao, you shouldn't even answer him self, es doesn't deserve the attention. When they were busy gaslighting their wives, them nor remember say one day the hunter will soon become the hunted. The supposed husband should fast and pray na, shape up and be extra lovey dovey at home. Very shameless set of black effs.

1 Like

Fashion / Re: Latest Trend. Our Girls Now Wear Only Pants In Public. Pics by bisiswag(f): 3:58pm On Nov 25, 2022
Toktee:
Olosho spotted...
What have you as an African contributed aside increasing the numbers of lazy girls who now believes the easy way to make money is your walk street naked?
Don't quote me o.... Cos if you do by the time am thru with you, you will overhaul your wardrobe.
I decided to quote you so I can truly see what you want to do as a frustrated demented jobless bat that you are. Not the online warrior tin, I mean what you can and will actually do cos you were never mentioned.
Fashion / Re: Latest Trend. Our Girls Now Wear Only Pants In Public. Pics by bisiswag(f): 7:24am On Nov 25, 2022
Africans never cease to amaze me. What d hell? Who cares what these pple wear as long as they not in the offices where you need dress formal?

No inventions, no critical thinking, ah ah , wassup with the black mind? Some screaming religion and culture , how has that helped you achieve anything whatsoever? Start screaming justice and start screaming for all other things needed for a sane society to function.

I see some posts on nairaland and it just breaks my heart. The world has left us behind. If it's not man and woman matter it's about dressing or random killings. No breakthroughs, nothing. God have mercy.

Before you quote me, ask yourself what we as Africans have contributed to the world other than marrying, birthing, taking up oxygen and acting as hypocritical morality police, therein lies your answer...

2 Likes 1 Share

Travel / Re: Japa: Nigerian Elite’s Disconnect From Reality – The Segun Agbaje Example by bisiswag(f): 4:11pm On Nov 18, 2022
How the hypocrisy of Nigerian elites stinks to high heavens. Can you imagine the advice, do you know how difficult it is to get anything on merit in Naija, a good paying job without having one strong connect or without God miraculously helping you out, if I knew what I know now, I would have left a gazillion years ago. Anyone that has the means pls by all means leave. Is it health care? Is it the lack of justice for the poor? Don't be deceived, this con3 get as e be, let them that are the principalities and powers of this country remain here.

1 Like

Romance / Re: How I Dealt With An Entitled Lady by bisiswag(f): 9:52am On Nov 16, 2022
Medianna:
That 'i can't spend on a woman that's isn't my wife' is very wrong. Lines of an irresponsible man in the making.
Imagine during courtship you don't take care of her. In marriage it will be worse cuz you've subconsciously condition your mind not to meet her needs deliberately.
Though there is limit for everything.
As in ehn very irresponsible men in the making. I just pity his wife with his long mouth, I like fair girls not the bleached ones and yet you can't pay for food bills. He will jam n chow breakfast
Romance / Re: How I Dealt With An Entitled Lady by bisiswag(f): 9:46am On Nov 16, 2022
Babara1994:
We met on Facebook, exchanged numbers and few days down the line, she asked for a date.

Fine, I obliged, but she didn't know I'm always on Dutch mode when it comes to dates. LOL

So we got the place. A very expensive eatery. She was well-dressed but was all bleached - a big turn-off. I actually like light-skinned women, but not the bleached ones.

Okay, fine. She ordered a plate of rice, a bottle of champagne, a cup of ice-cream and three pieces of meat-pie. I began to wonder if we came for national eating competition. Anyhow sha, I ordered a plate of rice and a bottle of malt.

When it was time to pay, I paid for mine ONLY and told her to settle her bill. It led to an argument and all eyes were on us. I left the place and insisted she settled her debt.

A big lesson to all women out there. If you come across me, I won't pay a dime until you're my wife. Why should I act like I'm your husband when you aren't my wife?

And if you're a guy reading this: Spend what you're OK with and don't make yourself a fool. If you go broke tomorrow, you'll be forgotten.

PS: I'm not a redpiller and I'm not a feminist; I'm just human. Humans THINK.
You should be sued. You are the entitled one here. Dutch payment dictates you let the other party know prior . Haba. See your mouth like ** I like fair girls* Well let this be a lesson for all girls in the dating pool, take ur cash n order what you can conveniently pay for if he wants to be a dunce. N then move on. See why you all should work abi . Na this kind one go enter marriage and use money as a tool for control.
Politics / Re: Buhari: No Going Back On Naira Redesign by bisiswag(f): 10:03am On Nov 11, 2022
But u get house for dubai wey ur matan dey stay abi. Be honest. U can't get for UK cos they gonna eff u up whenever it suits them.
Politics / Re: Photos Of Ekweremadu's Wife And Daughter, Sonia In Court Today by bisiswag(f): 8:20pm On Nov 07, 2022
Kai Achalugo.... hmmmm life is so unpredictable, its well. Wish all the parties involved the best.
Celebrities / Re: Davido And Chioma’s Son, Ifeanyi Is Dead; Drowns In A Swimming Pool by bisiswag(f): 4:09pm On Nov 01, 2022
chypotenti:
But finally nobody can take care of your child the way you do, if you like engage the services of 10 nannies, them nor go fit still take care of the child cos is not theirs.............
This is just the painful and brutally honest truth. Even relatives can't do that job. R.I.P young champ.

1 Like

Family / Re: The Aftermath Of DNA Test: My First Child Is Not Mine by bisiswag(f): 4:56am On Oct 27, 2022
advanceDNA:


I dont know where u people get the impression that a woman has to be bad to cheat...n sex we dey talk here ooo...
..u people put women on an angelic pedestal ...women are not too different from men...they love sex..they cheat...esepcially in this era of muktiple sex partners before marriage....they can be bad or good... ....dont good men that take care of their family sacrifice for their wife cheat??

I get your point perfectly but I was relating the good woman persona the op painted with the paternity fraud aspect of this particular story.
Family / Re: The Aftermath Of DNA Test: My First Child Is Not Mine by bisiswag(f): 10:23pm On Oct 26, 2022
Meektunz:
Been married for over 5 years now and ever since my wife gave birth to my first child, I've been suspecting that it's not my child due to no sense of resemblance.

I finally did a DNA test but unfortunately the result shows that I'm not the father of my first child. No doubt my wife loves me so much and honestly she has done a lot, sacrificed alot for me.

My conscience never allowed me to end the marriage because honestly she is a good wife one could ever ask for though she has her bad sides.

Since the result came out, I never told her or confronted her because I'm very very certain that once I confront her the marriage will end cos alot will happen but everyday once I see the boy and remember, I get so angry but after some time when we are all playing as a family I will forget.

I still do everything a father could do for his son. Honestly it's not easy to forget about everything.

What do you advise me to do guys?
You say she is a good woman. Could your true baby have bn swapped @ birth due to negligence or on purpose. Best you confront her and know the truth. I am female, but the worst thing ever on earth is paternity fraud, raising another person's kid without your knowledge has to hurt like hell. Whatever you do just be sure to get the truth out of her. Wishing you God's grace to bear whatever that truth is.
Family / Re: Photo Of The Woman Who Died In A Car Accident While Chasing Her Cheating Husband by bisiswag(f): 10:09pm On Sep 20, 2022
Greenback:
They should be ready for willy willy grin
Are u a bside boy? Lol ,Wily wily Don die, na who kill am abi. RIP mamacita. So sad. It hurts. Women learn to love yourselves.

1 Like

Literature / Re: A Night With Anna (A Short Romance Story By Kayode Odusanya) by bisiswag(f): 6:59pm On Aug 05, 2022
kayo80:


No, I no longer do that. Thanks for reaching out though.
Thank you

1 Like

Literature / Re: A Night With Anna (A Short Romance Story By Kayode Odusanya) by bisiswag(f): 1:07pm On Aug 05, 2022
Are you still into ghostwriting and how much do you charge per word? Fiction romance with foreign undertones .
Literature / Re: We Are Ghostwriters by bisiswag(f): 11:13am On Aug 04, 2022
Are you still into freelance writing?
Literature / Re: On Nairaland Writers And Their Clients: A Wake Up Call. by bisiswag(f): 5:56am On Jul 23, 2022
Lothlorien:
Good morning folks,

I trust you all have had a pleasant day so far. I'll just dig right into the topic. I am keeping this “short and sweet”

Like Uatu The Watcher, I have been observing the “drama” between many Nairaland writers and their clients. It can be quite entertaining. Some of it is funny, some of it ludicrous, while some is just plain sad.
It can be quite depressing and aggravating when you get a “Kansas City Shuffle” played on you after toiling for hours(sometimes days or even weeks) on a 5000 word piece. It’s the stuff of nightmares!
However, I have discovered that the real problem lies with the writer. That’s right. Nairaland writers are their own worst enemies. Let me explain.

NUMBER ONE: Majority of you have no idea how the business of writing works! The ignorance and mediocrity is so thick and palpable you can almost cut it with a knife. If you want to enter any business or any field of study, the first thing you do is: AQUIRE KNOWLEDGE ABOUT THAT FIELD! I mean isn’t that why people go to school in the first place? I see a lot of folks around here say “I am a writer” but can’t even construct a simple paragraph. Some of their paragraphs look like it was shot full of holes by some drug crazed soldier.

There is no rule of thumb that says you must have a background in the arts to be a writer, but in the name of the spirit of creativity, know your work! Quincy Jones once said: “you have got to respect the gift God gave you by learning your craft”. It’s that simple. How do you expect all the contractors and clients running around Nairaland to respect you when you write without skill? No skill, no fluidity and no coherence gets you ZERO money.

How do you hone your skills? Simple. It is a four letter word. READ! A good writer is not just a reader, but an insatiable reader. Read everything. Know something about everything, and everything about something. If you write for 1hour, read for 3hours. Why? What you read is stored in your mind even when you can’t seem to recall it. It flows into your writing over time. Ever notice yourself using words and expressions in your work you can’t remember where you learnt them? Chances are you read it or learnt it somehow. You want to be an exceptional writer? This is how you do it. No shortcuts. Anybody can call themselves “a writer”, but it’s not something you parrot. You earn it by investing days, months and years developing yourself. Many of you need to get off Nairaland and go learn some basic writing.

NUMBER TWO: BE SMART! For the love of God acquire and apply wisdom. It’s easy to see that many of you are simpletons and neophytes that’s why you keep getting scammed from every corner. It’s so easy it’s like taking candy from a baby. Now here is something to help you: NEVER release or submit a work without getting at least 50% of your fee. It is willful naïveté on your part to think that a client (who most times is faceless) will hold up their end of the bargain on a job, especially when you have never worked with said faceless client.

I have only done two(2) jobs in my life where I was paid in full after submitting the work. The first is the lowest I have ever been paid for a job. It was 5000 Naira for a one page speech. That’s right, one page. It was barely 500 words. And the money was practically ready before I delivered it. It took barely 30minutes to write.

The second was a piece I did for an online American magazine. It was less than 1000 words and I was paid 25k for it. Of course I had to wait because their method of operation(payment wise) wouldn’t work with my SOP. A piece of advice:

Barring a client whose integrity you have tested on previous jobs, don’t place 100% trust in any online contractor. What most of them even call writing offers on Nairaland are practically hopeless. When you are done with any job, withhold it and send bits of the finished work(ebook, article etc) enough to guarantee its authenticity but not enough for the client to piece a substantial part of the work from. For example, if you write an ebook for a client, send a few pages(no more than 2) from a middle chapter in the book. Make it random. For an article, send only one paragraph. Yes, I said one paragraph. No jokes.

Many of you are so eager to grab a “job” and show your “skill” that you inadvertently display your lack of tact and experience. Be wise. Show some common sense. Some jobs here are not even worth the time or energy. You would find it a more valuable use of your time learning how to rope calves than writing some silly article for some shady contractor.

I have never taken a job from Nairaland because a great deal of what passes for “writing jobs” on this forum is nonsensical. Really. Add to that: a host of thieving and forked tongued clients and contractors. I get my jobs mostly from referrals and from Twitter. In my opinion, if you really want to make a living from writing, Nairaland is not your Eldorado. I am not saying you can’t get good jobs here, but don’t spend all your time chasing after every post that says: “Writers Needed” or “Opportunity for Writers”. You can’t even do a decent data plan from what they pay. This brings me to my third and final point.

NUMBER THREE: VALUE! In the business of writing, it is VERY important for you to know what you are worth. I can’t stress this enough. The only way to command good pay for your job is to know your value. And you can’t talk about value if you write like an inebriated youth. I am appalled at what Nairaland writers accept as “Standard Pay”. 1naira or 2naira per word. Really? Seriously? In this day and age? It is ridiculous and demeaning. I once saw someone advertise a job here and the pay was even in kobo. I was shocked! Wait, can you even buy anything on the streets today for 1naira You writers need to wake up! WAKE UP!! You are the reason why clients and contractors keep playing you around and acting like small gods on this forum. If only you know what some folks outside Nairaland are willing to offer for quality work, you will never waste time here again.

On another post offering a job, I observed a “writer” advertising his skills. Apparently, he could write short stories between 1000 and 2000 words for 500naira! Unbelievable! This is why I said initially that many of you have no idea what the business of writing is about. Do you know what it takes to write a quality short story or piece for 2000 words? Except your writing is poor or you intend to plagiarize, you will never accept such miserable offers. Some of these clients are your fellow writers. They take jobs worth 300k and above and rush to Nairaland to outsource it for 1naira per word. They may end up paying you 30k or 50k(if you are fortunate) for the job and waltz away with a cool 250k for doing nothing! If you are smart and wise(point number two)you will know how to hook them and bill them.

If you are reading this and still charge clients for jobs at 1naira, 2naira you need to reevaluate what you are doing. Like I said earlier, the lowest I have ever been paid for a job is 5k(and I don’t even accept that kind of job anymore). Please understand me, I am not saying you shouldn’t start from somewhere. There will always be the days of little beginnings. You can’t make it to the top in a single leap. But in writing, even your little beginning should have a firm footing beneath you.

Go back and work on your craft. You want to command good pay? Pay the price of painstaking study. I don’t mean go back to school. Read books from exceptional writers. Both online and offline. When you watch movies, cartoons or listen to music, be on the look out for words, expressions or ideologies that you are unfamiliar with. Read newspapers. Watch documentaries. Write what you see and hear until it becomes second nature.

I once submitted a piece for an online platform that I will not name. The editor in charge of our section sent me a mail and said: “your piece was incredibly well written”. When it was time for the editing proper, the process was fast and fluid. Why? I had done my home work. The piece in question was over a thousand words and it took less than two hours to write.

With deep thanks to God, I have never grovelled for a job. When I make a pitch, I let my samples do my talking for me(when you have done your home work, your confidence soars like an eagle). It’s useless to tell a potential client that you are a writer. I can write articles, stories. So? It doesn’t amount to the proverbial hill of beans. And this is something you should learn: every client knows great writing when they see one. Even when they try to act cool, they know when they have quality in their hands. When a job is worth 50k and the client wants to pay 10k, I explain politely why I can’t take the job and go my merry way. I don’t sweat it. I have gone months on end without taking any job. That’s because my previous jobs always pay well enough that I can go another seven months without bothering.

Once again, you need to wake up. Sharpen your skills and launch out into the deep. Stop playing games here. You will end up writing 10 articles of a thousand words each and get nothing but a classic WhatsApp block for your troubles. Acquire knowledge, work smart, be polite and graceful yet subtle as a serpent. That’s right, the advice in the Bible is still very much valid. And of course, understand the value of your time and craft.

Lothlorien.



Thanks. Please how much would be ideal to charge for writing a complete biography?
Car Talk / Re: I Parked My Car, Went Into The Bank And This Happened by bisiswag(f): 8:13am On Jun 30, 2022
Cokahot:
When u want to park,locate a filling station closest to the bank or an eatery. Tip the security 2h. Lock car and move. Don't ever park your car by the service lane or road side. If dem no break your mirror,dem go damage driver side bumper. It's been like 7 months b4 I got the code. Park in eatery,lounge,filling station or bank that has fenced premises. Park your car at road side,u get luck say no be corolla. U for hail. Its a easy fix. Look for sack or rice bag,cut some parts out. File out the part destroyed,sand paper it. After that place two layers of the rice sack,use gum to gum both front and back,then from there use body filler to cover it. Buy silver spray from super market 2k. Spray it and no one will notice. Or go to panel beater and get exploited. Tho rewire must chop inside headlight replacement money,if u wan form smart go whr dem dey sell am brand new,dem go chop u times 2. E no get how u wan fake am say u dey suffer,if u like dress haggard or wear faded clothes.
Your skin with face must expose your wealth. E sure die
Bless your heart
Education / Re: IELTS: Share Your Experience, Ask Your Questions, Tell Us Your Score If You Can. by bisiswag(f): 3:06pm On Jun 27, 2022
Please does anyone know how to apply for enquiry on results when the results are not online? The results were hand delivered by a dispatch rider. Thanks

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