₦airaland Forum

jkpretty:
Even tho i have felt, tasted and witnessed life in Nigeria as a student going through all the hazzles that could ever be felt. I will still stand and say i prefer my kids to go through Primary & Secondary in Naija. I want my children not only to have a feel of their culture from childhood but able to speak their language correctly. I want my kids to get used to the morals/food here in Nigeria. I want the true African blood to flow in their veins. That is one.

Now aside that, i can't bring up kids in another man's land, only for them to start quoting laws for me & telling me what they are old enough to do & what not. Cos no matter how well u raise your kids, the tradition of the place u stay influence the child in way or the other. I stand to be corrected.

Now talking about schools, I don't regret the schools i went to here in Nigeria. If i were to pick schools again i might still pick those school i went to over again. And to think that Naija kids are always/usually more brainy than the kids that went through primary/secondary schools over there. Now thinking of it when we were young and some of our cousins come around from the likes of US/UK. Their spoken English is the only thing i give kudos to, (that's because their Ist language did not take effect) but to write na whahala, to solve easy maths becomes headache. So what's the point. University could then be taken abroad simply because of what Nigeria has caused for herself, Since some company in Nigeria would simply state that they would prefer Universities off Nigeria.

I've also noticed that once a child moves abroad for education after the secondary school levels in Nigeria they go topping their classes , why, because the reading culture is already there. The foundation is solid. If marriage changes my plan, i won't even forgive myself.

@Poster So University in UK
Primary & Secondary here.

Word!!!

Ten gbosas for jkpretty!!!

Na she talk true!


[the only change i'll make is that i think primary school in the uk is alright - the real dangerous years are in secondary school]

pahtahkee:
It will be sheer wickedness on my part if I allow my children to have their education in Nigeria. Given what I have tasted and seen here, my children must not repeat my history.

Rather, they will write history.

I have been experiencing strikes by teachers in Nigeria right from my primary school days. Secondary school was worse, University was the worst.


@ Topic,
If you have experienced the western education, you won't even think of your children settling for Nigerian education at the moment.

Every man to his tent.

pls distinguish between private schools/university and the public ones where what you wrote up there applies

opokonwa:
@poster
Must you spill out your life b/c you're in a relationship?
Except keeping mum about your past has the potential of spoiling the affair (like having a child out of wedlock)
Otherwise, let your secret be secret.

u don't mind marrying an ex-aristo or a babe who did time for drugs or 419?


shebi u no go vex after 10 years of marriage, u discover that your wife was once married but never told you before

jintujinta:
Hmm, okay let me tell you the kind of things that happen in face me i face you houses. I remember in those days, when video players were not as common as they are now and as a young bachelor in a face me i face you house, i had every electronics that a man needed to enjoy. My room used to be the mecca of all viewers. They watched films and movies till late in the night.

It was an opportunity for interested babes to pretend they were in my room watching films. You know some married women even delighted in coming to watch films whenever i was alone. It used to be interesting. Those babes knew what they wanted and went for it.


Another neighbour of mine was always connecting his babe in the bathroom. There were two bathrooms side by side, so he always waited till the babe was going in to take her bath then he would enter the second. The first trick, he dropped his soap in the other bathroom and requeasted the babe to help him pick it. In the process of handing it over to him, he started caressing the babe hand. The babe got the gist and it became a routine. Anyway, na soo dedm take they chop the thing sha but i no know how them progress the show.

My people, plenty they happen for face me, i face you houses o.

Gbosa! I go die o! Na so e de be for face me, i face you! Na bachelor be king for that kin house

I don't really want to know if how many guys my sweetheart has been with - that's ancient history

but I sure as hell want to know if -

1. she's been married before [native, church, registry, all or any of the above]

2. she has any kids before [dead or alive]

3. she has any criminal convictions

4. she has any problems with her credit history, bad debts, outstanding loans etc

5. she was into aristo

hammers:
i bet no one will claim such on nairaland.
They are all a bunch of hipocrites.
well, i learnt the level of sexapades there is UMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!

yes o! na for face me, i face u, na im dem dey do anyhow anyhow - dey can like home runs

when is admin going to ban this sammy 901? i've had enough of these irritating ads for dating sites and whatnot

i hope he is paying royalties for trying to lure seun's customers

almondjoy:
True, but you cannot compare the educational standards of then to now. Things have gotten worse! Like you said, to each his or her own.

Yes, the FGCs and other top schools of those days have declined but there are now loads of world class private secondary schools in Nigeria with first class IT, lab, workshop and boarding facilities. Many offer UK GCSE and A-level courses at Upper 6 level and some even have foundation programme partnerships with UK universities. U do your A-Levels at the schools and are guaranteed admission to the UK partner university.

nwando:
Everytime on this nairaland,submit,submit submit.
Should we die for you people ?

yes

na lie! heavy rumour!!!

the bobo was 'easing' himself somewhere else come dey deceive im 'honey' and 'sweetie pie' sey im be virgin and that im dey wait until them marry

6 years without abunna? na lie - no naija man fit do am!!!

Quote from: Virtuous A
@RichyBlack
Well said, BUT do you think you can cope and handle the death-defying atmosphere of polygamy? Do you consider the family settings of those days? Where a man is in TOTAL control of his family, where the women have no option than to answer their husbands “my lord”? Where a woman cannot just rise up to do just anything because she dims it fit without seeking the husband’s permission? I can go on and on, but the point I want to make is that things have changed.
This generation is such that women have so much influence on their husband, YOU CAN ASK ANY SINCERE MAN, and if that is the case, an average man cannot cope with more than one wife, except the man has resolved to leave a short life. Can you imagine how difficult it is for wife to live with their mother/sisters in-law not talk of co-wife? I believe that the practice (of one man one woman) was totally accepted not just for religious influence but because people found out the truth of it – taking the burden of one than that of two or more.

@topic
So many wrong has become a tradition, and this is one of them. What is it married couple seek outside that is not found in their partner? They can spice up their married life if they determine to teach each other new things. This is pure lack of self control.
There is this portion of the WORD that says “all sin a man commit is outside his body but adultery is a sin against one’s body. Not only that it is a sin against GOD but also against oneself, whether man or woman

am not so sure you actually understand that things have changed. you are talking above about polygamy in ancient times and not polygamy of today.

in ancient times, women were forced into polygamy by their parents; today, they marry polygamous men of their own free will

women in polygamous marriages in nigeria of today are lawyers, bankers, doctors, accountants, engineers.

most have established careers, businesses and professions of their own.

they enjoy full financial autonomy with their own independent resources apart from what their common husband gives them

virtually none of today's co-wives live together - they have houses of their own which they rent or own or their husband rents or built for them

this is the new generation polygamy

Sisikill:
@ bawomolo
Rotflmao. . . I guess you've not been reading all the other cheating threads, eh?

The man cheats, it's the woman's fault. She didn't jump into bed fast enough for him when he demanded sex.

The man cheats, it's the woman's fault. She couldn't keep her youthful figure after having his baby.

The man cheats, it's the woman's fault. She's always too tired because she's up from dusk till dawn taking care of the house, the children, te-ing the breakfast, lunch and dinner table for the king of the house while he sits on his behind, watching TV because God forbid he helps her out, thunder will strike him down.

The man cheats. . . It's the woman's fault now and forever.

So yeah, Why Not?!!

typical female response

1. most working couples eat only one meal at home on weekdays or even not at all - usually dinner after work. its only on weekends that they have time to eat two or more meals and if one or the other has to take the kids to soccer practice. go shopping,play golf etc, it might just be the one meal. i personally know married men who never eat at home on weekdays becasue they leave for work too early for breakfast, they have lunch at work and they don't eat dinner for dietary/health reasons

3. if its a couple that eat mostly nigerian diet, most married women don't cook soup everyday; they cook every weekend or every other weekend depending on how many are in the house. the soup is stored in the freezer and microwaved as needed on weekdays

4. most married women in nigeria do not take care of their kids singlehanded. they usually have maids, nannies, younger sisters and cousins living with them who help with the kids. many families with 2 or more young kids have at least 2 maids/nannies living with them. what am i even saying - its the aunties, maids and nannies who do the bulk of the childcare. on weekdays, the kids are in school; after school, the kids are with the nannies, maids and aunties until mum gets home usually late in the evening. some married women even have their mum living with them fulltime to help with the kids

so women need to stop offering housework and childcare as an excuse for depriving their husbands of sex. we are not as dumb as you think. we can see that you are getting more than a little assistance with these

Siena:
@ Blacklion: Tell your views to the INS, and they MAY just accept a little law-bending as the norm. But, I doubt it!

Poverty's no excuse to commit fraud, and not every wealthy individual remains honest! People WILL always be what / who they want to be, regardless of their status. Being poor doesn't make one stupid, just the same way, being wealthy doesn't make one smart. I know a lot of people in Nigeria, who were so poor, even getting 3 square meals a day was a struggle in itself. And today, they ARE doing great, both in Nigeria AND abroad, LEGALLY.

There are ways of getting your points across, without resorting to insults, or are you so used to having everyone accept your views as gospel? When folk get frustrated, they generally resort to insults, thinking they can shout folk down. But alas, it seldom works. Not with me at any rate.

You have your views on what's morally AND legally acceptable, I have mine too. How can this guy be legal, if he's using someone else's documents to work? Lol. If his were that clean, why doesn't he use his, huh? What you're effectively saying is, it's ok to break the law, as long as you do so with someone else's documents.

Let's assume he gets caught, what would his defence be? It's folk like this guy that make things harder for genuine people. Like it or not, Nigerians abroad ARE representing Nigeria, and Nigerians as a whole ARE generally judged by people like Ade, who choose to operate on the wrong side of the law.

And I'm happy to report, Kristina kicked Ade to the curb, she's not as gullible as she initially appeared afterall.

Siena,

Apologies for the collateral damage from fire directed at the male-bashing harpy - I mistook you for one of her numerous cheerleading fake handles.

Re-read Tina's comments right thru the thread. FYI, Ade is legal to work in the US as a foreign student. Google it up. But there is a restriction - he can work only a maximum of 20 hours/week. Depending on the job, he'd be lucky to make $12/hour - if its the usual jobs immigrants have to do. If he works more hours with his own ID/Social Security card, it'll show up on his Social Security deductions and payroll taxes by his employer. Meanwhile, he is paying his way through college, has to live and send money back home. So just like tens of millions of immigrants, he has to 'bend' the law to survive. At least he is not running fake Social Security cards [US equivalent of UK NI numbers]. He is working with his own SS/ID for 20 hours/week and then extra hours with the the identity/SS cards of relatives and friends. These are real people he knows who trust him with their ID so that he can work e.g. while they are at home back from their own jobs. That way, it won't show on their SS cards as if they were in two work lcoations at the same time which leads the IRS and INS to investigate. Most Mexicans don't even bother to be this careful - they just buy stolen SS cards from the mob or forge SS cards. The Chinese and Indians do it all in-house - they bring thier relatives over and keep them in closed shop employment. They arrange SS cards and stuff for them.

In my moral book, a new immigrant who uses his friends' and relatives' SS card to work extra hours in order to keep body and soul together is waaaaaaaaaay morally superior to the numerous 'odu' boys that are all over London. He is also far better than all those naijas who arrived in the UK 40 years ago and now abuse their positions in local councils and housing authorities to allocate multiple public-subsidized housing to themselves and their relatives for profiteering rents.

In case you are pretending not to know this, there are tens of millions of immigrants from Asia and Latin America in the US, a good number illegal. There are far more illegal immigrants from India and China than from Nigeria in America. They aree have to go through the usual rites of passage for new immigrants. Its not everyone that is privileged to come in thru HSMP or Visa Lottery or Spouse/Sibling Sponsorship.

see naijas fronting like sey dem no sabi wetin be 'face me' i face you apartment'

na una wey dem born and breed for face me, i face you - una come dey front for here

Mamaput - If he fathers a us citizen his stay is guaranteed

Not true at all. The INS deports alien parents of US citizens all the time. Do some googling

d-reloaded - and how are you an american and you don't know what INS is. Immigration & Neutralization Services.

See the big fool olodo mumu running her wide mouth anyhow as usual – INS is Immigration and Naturalization Service.
Always quick to rain abuse and defame naija men but morally and intellectually bankrupt. 'Neutralization' indeed! I know thats what your frustrated azz is wishing for naija men.

Spoilt brats and fools like this one here that has never been exposed to poverty and hardship in Nigeria is asking why a man should still be completing a first degree at 30 and claiming that Nigerian men don’t marry foreign women. Those who know the level of poverty in naija would not find it strange that a man would be paying his way through college at 30. those who have seen all the mulatto and halfcaste in naija know that naija men do marry foreign women. Frustrated slowpoke.

Siena - Adetina's Nigerian boyfriend in question has already started working on the wrong side of the law - using someone elses papers to get work! So, my views on him are based purely on that. Little indiscretions like that often snowball into full-time crime. It may not seem so right now, but it's classed as Fraud.

Nwoke, abeg stop talking nonsense here. Apart from those born with foreign citizenship, most naijas have to bend the law a little to get settled especially in the workplace. At least he is not dealing drugs or into 419 – just using friends/relatives ID to work extra hours. As a foreign student, eh can work only 20 hours per week. Now this guy is paying his way through school, plus living expenses plus sending money to naija. He def needs those extra hours

What is the percentage of naijas in Uk who were born citizens or migrated legally? Less than 20%. All others had to use fake NI or other peoples NI to work until they sorted themselves out including guys working at JP Morgan in the City today. So stop peddling this self-righteous crap.



@ all – this Ade guy has so many options open to him viz –

1. graduate, use his OPT to get a job and then get employer to file for H1B – he can offer to pay the legal costs to convince the employer who may not like to hire immigration attorney

2. get into grad school, remain legal as a student and keep on searching for a job that will get hm work permit and eventually green card

3. pay a ghetto babe to marry him for papers

Bottomline, he is legal right now and there are other EASIER options available to him. He does not ABSOLUTELY need to exploit Tina to get his papers.


Tina, don’t be deceived by the numerous frustrated Nigerian women here. They just want to scare you aware so they can maximize their options. There are way too many bitter and frustrated Nigerian spinsters in the US. Go slow with Ade but at least give him the benefit of the doubt.

pls how can i copy text from a pdf document to use in word? thanks my pipul!!!

@lynxnoon,

how's your experience with DOPC thus far? How is the browsing speed during business hours? Can you watch youtube? Can you download mp3s easily?

I use Swift Networks WIMAX with a router but I am considering a really mobile solution for my laptop. SWIFT service is very patchy these days - very slow in the daytime but a bit better at night.

hammers:
IS IT A TRADITION FOR SINGLE LADIES TO CHASE MARRIED MEN?

Correct man!!! NA ONLY YOU TALK TRUE!

No min all these hypocritical male-bashers for here. Always pointing fingers at men while ignoring the atrocities committed by women.

Its takes two to tango - willing seller, willing buyer!

nalijah07:
Also, why would you have more than one child if you know you can't support them?

Has it ever occured to you that in the real world [as opposed to cyberspace fantasies] people's economic prospects and circumstances can chnage for the worse unexpectedly? Loss of employment in middle age, perennial business failures, physical/health disabilities are all things than can occur AFTER a couple has finished child-bearing. The couple may have 3 kids early in their marriage while both hubby and wife are gainfully employed; but the wife may subsequently develop diabetes and hypertension thus disabling her from serious work while the hubby loses his job and his business ventures fail. The world is not a nice place. Bad things do happen atimes to good people

nwando:
My brother na wa O
We are talking about people that are of one same tribe,eat virtually the same food and have very similar culture with minor differences.
People who are proudly Igbo and loving it!
We ought to get done with this statism and townism.
We were afterall one East central state prior to 1978.
I hate all this!

Well said! Pls preach that gospel throughout the whole Alaigbo

The madness has gone beyond statism and townism. In my hometown, Roman Catholic will not give their daughter in marriage to Anglican. In fact, they will even prefer for their daughter to marry a Pentecostal guy than an Anglican. If their son wants to marry an Anglican girl, they will insist that the lady must convert formally before the wedding can ever take place.

AJ,

Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala did her primary and secondary school in Nigeria and went to Harvard and MIT for college and grad school.

We are talking here about primary and secondary schools and not college. I see so many naija kids born and raised in naija who completed sec school in naija and then went on to win top laurels in colleges and unviersities all over the world including Ivy League colleges.

To each his own. For me, my kids must do secondary in naija and then a-levels/university abroad.

nwando,

like i said before "Very rampant among omata types back in the day"

in case you don't know or have forgotton [maybe e don tey small wey u waka go amelika ], OMATA stands for Onitsha Market Amalgamated Traders Association. As an Igbo babe, u suppose know the people wey them dey call 'omata'. OMATAs are male and female and come from all corners of Igboland; its not just the Main market or Ochanja traders but the entire mindset and subculture associated with them.

And yes, this sort of misbehavour is common among omatas especially when the son-in-law is one of those money-miss-road that made quick money from 419, wash-wash, blood rituals or 'afia ntu' and so they feel they can do and undo with absolute impunity. Some of these guys take it as an achievement that they have slept with mother and daughter or with two sisters of the same parents and they openly boast about it.

Remember that many of these omata women were married away at a very young age in 1970s and 80s to much older men [e.g. 16 yrs old girl to 40 yrs old man] and so they're still sexually active when their first or second daughter are newly married with newborns but the mother's husband can't get it up anymore. The woman at 36 yrs will be at the age when a woman's sexual desire is at its peak but her husband is 60 and his abunna is not working anymore. The daughters' husband could be a ritualist who likes to engage in bizarre and kinky sex e.g. with mother-in-law. Opportunity + incentive = abomination.

As for where I'm from, please look at my profile and take three guesses

if the article/thread is too long and boring, why not simply skip over it?

must u comment on something you supposedly find too long and boring?

must u read absolutely everything on nairaland?

methinks y'all get a kick from denigrating the poster

Hotstepper:
since u people will is loacte din da uk,let them do primary there and secondary is nigeria, my aunty will do the same to her kids, once should be leaving by next year, i was forunate to do primary in naija and sec. here and now uni and trust me, I love nigeria like something else, infact, i just got back from there 2 dayz ago, was there for 6 weeks. well, in what eva the decision you people might take, the should taste Nigerian educational system, as for me, primary and sec. is far better than that of western world

this is the best advice so far. my friends who did the same have never regretted it. teenage years are the most impressionable and formative. its pretty much or break for a kid in those years. a kid who went to secondary in naija learns naija culture and also learns that the world is not a nice place and no one owes him/her any favours. they get good sense knocked into them

also, quality private secondary schools in naija are far cheaper than independent schools in the uk; many offer uk curriculum along with nigerian or uk curriculum for a-levels

nwando:
I've seen some stupid threads on nairaland.
This is one of them.

What's stupid about it?

U wan talk say u have never heard of women that were sent back from omugwo in disgrace for having affairs with their daughter's hubby?

Very rampant among omata types back in the day.

loyika:
Anyways Raimond

Ignore most of the posters insulting you (and asking you to see her as your sister AS IF THAT IS POSSIBLE ), one thing i have learnt in life, most people that criticise you, are even worst offenders in their own little world.

Dosman:
Haabaa!
Why everybody dey try crucify this guy now,at least he is sincerely enough to share his experience with us.
What of those of you that will not bother to seek opinion before doing it nko?
Anyway my people don't be surprised if the girl wey una dey cry for no be virgin o
A lot dey happen for this world o.

Word!!!

triaophant:
By the way how old is she to reject?

Indeed!!!

Ah don talk before and all the ladies on this thread have been fronting and pretending.

That girl would NEVER have done what she did if she was 35 years old.

just reading and learning from the pros

have a whole lot of catching up to do so i'm silent for now




but i'd dearly love to know why share certificates are with held so long after POs/share purchases

michelin89:
If more
women were also pouring acid on men, I am sure they'd think twice before cheating.

Y'all much too young to know this but the whole acid pouring business was actually started by naija WOMEN in Warri way back in the mid-1980s. Back then they poured acid on their cheating/love rat boyfriends and/or their female love rivals. Men copied the idea and transported it to Lagos and other parts.

Madam Wendy,

Its been nearly a week since you vowed you were leaving the thread but you're still here firing away


stock tips too boring all of a sudden?

or you've FINALLY decided to join the rest of us lesser mortals who prefer tatafo and aproko to hot stock tips?