₦airaland Forum

moneybag,

i responded using ortega's notebook but forgot to sign out his handle first.

we cool. your illustrations were a wee bit personal that's all.

dude, if you're not already, you should be a marriage counsellor. you'd have a very lucrative and steady [though mostly female] clientele.

Funny thread and responses!

To all of the men here threatening to go do it outside if the woman says "no", I say "grow up"! If you're cheating on your partner, chances are that she's cheating on you too and you're too dumb to notice simply because most of you believe that cheating is a man's right and women don't do it. So there's no point introducing into your relationship something that you don't want perpetrated.

No woman will constantly refuse sex from her husband, especially if it's pleasurable. The problem a lot of men have in this regard is that they don't know how to meet their woman's need. For a woman, sex doesn't just start in bed. It's in the way you treat her all day long. Little things like paying attention to the kids, helping out around the house, holding her hand (in a non-sexual way) and talking to her about her day, and just generally doing all you can to make her happy certainly do turn a woman on Cheesy. You can't expect to ignore her all day long (all in the name of "i'm too busy at work", come home and then expect her to suddenly be in the mood for sex. It don't work that way! Women are wired differently from men and to them, romance is important. Of course, it's only the men who take the time to understand this important difference that will enjoy their female companion.

Having said that though, it's not right for anyone, man or woman, to constantly deny their spouse sex. As a man, if your woman is denying you constantly, you need to have a discussion with her. You might just be surprised at the things you'll find out from that discussion and you may also find that the problem is much easier to fix than you imagined. Sex in marriage is pleasurable, and women enjoy it too.

moneybags, the type of adulation you're receiving from the females here go let you answer my questions so? Anyway sha, here go -


1. Whatever happened to sex between married couple at the spur of the moment or on impulse? so you've never had the sudden rush of adrenaline or what?

2. do you mean to say that all sex between hubby and wifey must be pre-programmed and pre-planned 24 ours in advance before it can be pleasurable for wifey? Or that hubby must pampering wifey from early morning in anticipation of sex as a reward later that night?

3. does this not effectively reduce sex to a 'reward' at the discretion of the wifey?

4. what about working couples that leave home at different times early in the morning and don't see each other until late in the evening or night? no sex for oga because madam was not pampered all day long?

5. must sex always be at night? so hubby wants sex in the morning or afternoon, he must plan to pamper wifey 12 hours in advance?

6. what happens when hubby comes from work after a hard day totally stressed out and reaches for madam for some quick sex to relax his nerves? he is not entitled to have sex with his wifey until he pampers madam in advance for 12 hours first?


I still get question but make we start with this ones first. At the end of the day, this your idea reads like sex is a privilege which wifey grants at her absolute discretion.

mamaput - In most countries in europe adultery is not a crime. That will not work out

True but its a ground for divorce. Since the law favours women in Europe, the court will focus more on the kids welfare than the woman's misbehaviour in deciding who gets the house, car, child support etc. So even an adulterous wife may still get to keep the house, car etc and the hubby will have to pay her child support. The only way he can get the kids is to prove that she is a bad mother whose slutty lifestyle/behaviour will harm the kids. Even so, in some European countries, the mere fact that a woman is adulterous and has sex with her boyfriend[s] in the same house with her kids is still not enough to deny her custody.

Truth is Ugwumba's friend has almost no options available other than to just waka leave the woman and face his life jeje.

Ah no know which kain konko below oyibo women use to get the law to favour them so much.

Posted by: squirrel20

i think it is wrong for a man to forcefully sleep with his wife but at the same time i don't think it is right for any woman to refuse her husband for no good reason.

OK, so lets take it to the next level - what would be a good reason for a woman to refuse her husband?

what about individual responsibility?? people shouldn't be having kids they can't take their off. why have a bundle of kids living in face-me i face-u. family planning is just awful in nigeria. by hawking, these kids are prone to abuse.

When last where you in Nigeria? Contrary to your fantasies, family plannning is permeating most nooks and crannies at least of southern Nigeria including among the poor and downtrodden. Point is - if dad is a mechanic or panel beater and mum sells pure water at the market and they have only two [2] kids, what kind of life do you think those 2 kids will have? Do you have any idea just how tough things are for those at the bottom of the heap in Nigeria today? Do you think the parent's combined income is enough for them not to send the kids out to hawk?

here's a hint. Whenever the labour unions call a general strike e.g. over fuel price hikes, by the evening of the first day, you'll see vulcanizers, pure water sellers, yam sellers etc coming out to trade. they support the strike - after all fuel price affects them too but they need that daily sales to survive. too many families in nigeria literally live from hand to mouth. what they eat is what they sold or earned in that day. if they don't sell or earn, they starve until the next day.

people send their kids out to hawk knowing the risk. but they have few or no options. they are not blind or stupid - they know what can happen to their kids. but they can't see what else to do.

In that Chicago southside where you are, black American women are having 10 kids and living on welfare. the govt. complains. the whites complain on fox news. but no govt. in america will dare cancel food stamps or medicare just because some people are abusing it. that is a caring society with responsible leaders not like the thieves who rule nigeria

Girls please do not marry a jobless man. When the chips are down, love will not turn into a plate of jollof rice!!

Yes, that's an Igbo chick talking!!!

There are too many poor families in Nigeria where the children will go t bed hungry if they do not sell the goods their mum gave them to hawk b/c the family literally lives on those daily sales. The mum is selling tomato and pepper in the corner market; the kids are hawking plantain and eggs in the neitghbourhood.

Rather than blame poor people who have no options than to try to survive, we should blame the corrupt politicians and civil servants who steal all the money in naija thus making life impossible for the poor masses.

hotfunmi - Was it not the same superhot Funmi that posted lists of Naija hot celebs that physically appeal to him?

r u gay or transgendered? just wondering?

even your syntax is rather aggressive and unfeminine

who are 'the great ones' again for nairaland?

na so seun dey fear? i typed 'the m u s l i m s' in my post above only to see 'the great ones' in my post,

na wa,

babyosisi - the ones that had 20 wives bowing at their feet ?

pls let us learn to respect the rights and choices of others. monogamists always arrogate to themselves the right to disparage polygamous homes. pls if you chose a monogamous marriage, that is your own choice - you should be humble and tolerant enough to respect the rights of others to enter into polygamy. it is their human right as well to make a choice just like you did

that is how pentecostals in nigeria go about destroying shrines of traditional worshippers as if traditional worship is now a crime in nigeria. human sacrifice and human rituals are criminal offences but believing in ogun or amadioha is never a crime. but the pentecostals always believe they have the right to go about interfering with other people's freedom of worship and destroying their shrine. yet the same pentecostals will complain when the muslims burn their churches in the north

let and live. that babyosisi does not believe in polygamy does not mean that other women do not have right to marry polygamists and bow at their feet for life.

neither LovePeddler nor wife truly loves me but my cash only

hotfunmi

You get what you deserve from women. Most atimes, women that withold sex from their husbands do so to either avenge for what he did to her or protest for something that has been landing on deaf ears. If you treat your wife very well , you shall be rewarded with the 'fat meat' at night.

So if my wife offends me in any way or does not do exactly what I want just when I want her to do it, i have a right to withhold sex as her punishment, abi? If I gave her 10k and asked her to cook egusi and she decides its easier to cook ogbono that particular day, no sex for her for one month as punishment for not giving me the particular soup I wanted , abi?

Think very well about what you said above.

Yes, an irresponsible man or a wife batterer or a man that is emotionally cruel should not reasonably expect his wife to be keen on sex. But your comments above sounds uncomfortably like bartering sex for favours. What does treating one's one wife entail? What is nature of the something that has been landing on deaf ears?

There are wives who barter sex for cash or the hubby doing their bidding. What's the difference between that woman and a street LovePeddler?

@ babyosisi - A man whose wife always seems to have a headache when the clock strikes 12 ought to ask himself what he's doing wrong. Women are emotional beings by nature. If a man is not caring and romantic throughout the day,he shouldn't expect her to suddenly turn into anna nicole smith (of blessed memories )when the light goes out.
It doesn't work that way for most women.

Hollywood and Mills & Boon have a lot to answer for

My understanding of deadbeat is a guy who refuses to take responsibility for his kid[s].

So why all the hostility towards Gamers from some females even before he explained that he was involved in the kid's life and paying bills too?

Last I checked, it takes two to make a baby and its not a crime to knock a woman up and refuse to marry her. This is the 21st century - no law says you must marry a woman just because she is pregnant for you.

The mere fact I like a woman enough to sleep with her does not automatically mean that I must love her enough for marriage. Marriage is for life - she may be good enough for sex but not good to marry.

After all, some women will date and sleep with one guy to pay their bills but marry some one else that they like better. Cuts both ways.

So stop all this man-hatin and apply some common sense!

also remember that we have a lot of 'unregistered students' in naija campuses i.e. boys and gals who did not make JAMB but they deceive their parents and friends that they are in school and collect money. they live in hostels and pick up all the student gist and jargons. they know all the lecturers and campus stuff. if you might [and i have] you can nver know they are not real students. this lady may be one of those. the hubby trusts her anyway and if she can speak all the correct campus slangs, he will belive she truly went to uni. also, these days, you can buy fake call-up letter and nysc discharge certificate

@ annamaria,

Like I said yesterday, when you love someone, you take what they tell you at face value - u are not going to demand that they present their certificates for you to verify their credentials. Secondly, it is not unusual for universities in Nigeria to withhold degree certificates for years after graduation due to bureaucratic incompetence. Some unis in naija even hold convocation ceremony several years after the student graduated.

I'm a guy. I don't find it incredible that the lady might not have ever graduated but withheld that fact from the hubby. Even if she did not attend uni at all but she knows the hubby has never been to Maiduguri and does not know any UNIMAID alumni, she can easily claim to have been to UNIMAID.

@ adeboo

yes, the trust is gone but trust can be rebuilt

But this will take genuine repentance and apology from the wife plus true love, patience and understanding from the hubby.
It may take years to rebuild the trust and indeed, the trust may never ever be totally regained; but if this couple is willing, they can overcome the worst challenges to their marriage.

But it will take a lot to get this guy's mind away from suspecting her of all sorts. He should try - at least for the sake of the kids. But if he cannot bring himself to forgive and forget, then he should move on without unnecessary delay so that the lady can get used to being divorced and the children to the collapse of their family home.

Are this couple based in naija? If so, I really don't understand why some peeps are emphasizing so much about how come he didn't know she was not a graduate. First when you love someone, you take what they tell you at face value - u are not going to demand that they present their certificates for you to verify their credentials. Secondly, it is not unusual for universities in Nigeria to withhold degree certificates for years after graduation due to bureaucratic incompetence. Some unis in naija even hold convocation ceremony several years after the student graduated.

REED,

I think you are mixing up child abuse and rape. Psychologists say women who were sexually abused as kids often develop feelings of low self-esteem and worthlessness which leads them to become promiscuous or frigid later on. I've never heard that rape victims become promiscous but I have heard and read that they may become frigid. I actually have a friend whose babe who used to cry bitterly whenever they had sex; she later told him about being raped by some cultists in her school.

osisi,

hope you know that disqualifies you from any kind of public office or govt. employment in naija. also govt. can at any time stipulate production of nysc certificate before you access public services or benefits. many thought they were wise only to be thrown out of elected office when it was discovered that they dodged nysc

also, many companies insist on NYSC certificate for employment

@funkybaby

do u use n95 8gb music edition? where did u get it and how much - if u don't mind sharing. thanks

c'mon folks, help a bro out -

Any one with current info on prices for N82 and N95[8GB]? e.g. at Slot Systems or other reputable GSM dealers in Ikeja?

If you've used either or both, which one would you recommend between the two? Have been to gsmarena and noticed their features are almost the same except the N95 is a slider and N82 does not have infra red.

Any one with current info on prices for N82 and N95[8GB]? e.g. at Slot Systems or other reputable GSM dealers in Ikeja?

If you've used either or both, which one would you recommend between the two? Have been to gsmarena and noticed their features are almost the same except the N95 is a slider and N82 does not have infra red.

Hi Tafari,

What's the name of the building pls? You know how street numbering is in naija

Ancient history!!!

We're talking N95 8GB these days - the black ME - Nokia's answer to Apple iPhone

Or even the new N82 successor to N95

@ omogidi,

Thanks for the info. I really appreciate. I hope you don't mind telling how much one needs to get GTB credit card?

Also, do you know if the GTB card is accepted by online vendors such as amazon.com or ebay? I'd like to do online shopping.

Does anyone have any info about dollar-denominated credit cards issued by Nigerian banks e.g. GTB, Intercontinental etc especially whether they are accepted by online vendors in US?

[Hmmmmmmmmm! To the folks who say the past is the past and all and any misdeeds in the past should remain there, I have a few questions -

For the ladies, I take it that you are not really interested in knowing whether your BF or husband was once known to be a pedophile, child molester/abuser, a rapist, a known sexual pervert, a flasher etc? And you don't want anybody who knew him back then when he was a child abuser to tell you? You would be comfortable being married to a man who was once known to be a pedophile and child molester? You would not be worried that he might relapse into his old perversion and molest your kids sexually?

For the guys, you really and absolutely don't care if your wife or GF was once a street hooker or an aristo babe while on campus? You absolutely don't care if 50 guys at your office, at your club or in your neighbourhood had paid cash to sleep with her back in those days when she was prostituting? You really don't care that your work buddies and pals at the club have all seen your wife's naked body and sampled her goodies?

OK, assuming you live in Europe or North America, you absolutely would not want to know prior to the wedding if your GF/BF/Spouse had any previous drug or felony convictions and if he/she had done time? I hope you gys are aware that drug, drunk driving or felony convictions in the US can sometimes or often mean that he will never obtain decent paid employment in his life again and that very often banks and financial institutions will deny him business loans, home mortgages and that he will not qualify for government-backed student loans to further his education?

Also, are we to believe that if you live in Europe or North America, you absolutely would not want to know prior to the wedding if your GF/BF/Spouse had a bad credit history, had defaulted or maxed out on credit cards, was owing back-payments on his/her mortgage, student loan etc. I hope y'all are aware that in the American financial system, one spouse's bad credit rating can sometimes negatively affect the other.


Just curious!

@ iranoladun

Yes, the quality needs to improve and the producers might actually make more money if they enhanced the quality. But the fact remains that the present set of dominant producers have neither the capacity nor the motivation to do so. We can preach all we like and insult the producers as much as we like but the fact is that the present crop of producers don't care a whit about what some anonymous people on nairaland think about them or their movies. Bottomline is as long as there are enough people willing to buy their movies as trashy as they are, the producers are A-OK. We need to move beyond constantly criticizing Nollywood producers from our comfort zones on the internet. That's my whole point.