₦airaland Forum

Unable to mount a strong defense.

Enyimba FC, you are needed here o!

Benstino:
Many atheists and sentimental beings will jump to the thread. This has to be a youth programme, aimed at addressing problems that some young people encounter early in marriages. There's nothing about money there. I've even attended such programs where offerings weren't even given. Even if it was, I do not mind, since no one forces anybody to give.

I see nothing wrong there. The sentence is just meant to attract people's attention.
I've never even been to a Redeemed church before, but I'm not foolish to just start attacking something for no just reason.

Are there Pastors who defraud people? YES. Do all Pastors defraud people? definitely NO. The rule applies to every profession, be it in medical sector (doctors), in business sector, or in law sector (lawyers). There's always gonna be doctors and lawyers who're a shame to their profession, but yet we've never called all of them "fake". It's only in the religious sector that this happens. That's purely Satanic

@bold:

Very well said.

The banner is funny and catchy.

The message would however be very important to newly wedded husbands who are yet to learn how to deescalate and resolve issues.

I believe it would bless the intended audience if well delivered.

Skyview01:
Hello guys, what's the hype about a lady being a virgin or not at time of marriage.
Do you think it a big deal.? Does it really matter?
For me, I prefer a lady with tons of sexual experience versus a novice.
What do you guys think?

Depends on your preference.

A man with little or no sex experience and sexual/romantic experience has always been my preference.

Let's build ourselves together and I don't want the ajeku of the whole of Lagos in body, soul & spirit.

Yonce:
I'm not into gaming so it's hard to follow all the talk about games and positions players assume on the team and their relevance plus I feel like you'd have to have a background in gaming to enjoy this drama.
15 episodes in and the ML has been bland. Just another pretty boy with cash to burn.
I like the FL's ambition but she's a tad bit childlike for me.

Have you seen Feel at ease Mr Ling?

@bold:

Mbok, I think I would pass.

I love my MLs, passionate, armoured with the FL, assertive and with good/interesting characters.

I am watching Encounter (K-drama). I did not like the ML initially but BoBo has grown on me. I am almost done (Episode 14) so I am stalling.

Just seven?

Khonifer:
I said sex does not deplete a woman. You said you didn’t say sex depletes a woman, but go ahead and read your points one and two and see what you get from both statements. What is the difference between ‘sex’ and ‘a sexual relationship’?

Sex takes from men and women. What? What does it take? No matter how untrue you people want it to be human being are in fact human beings. We are not objects WE DO NOT get used up. Whatever passion a man has had for former partners will not get used up. Whatever ‘nectar’ a woman has had for former partners will not. Get used up.

You can argue that people carry baggage from previous relationships with them, because I think that is what you mean with these your statements about past relationships and all, but I can also argue that more often than not, people heal. And whatever ‘bitterness’ or ‘baggage’ that bad relationships bring also leave. Most people ARE NOT still hung up on their exes. People move on and create new lives with new memories and new experiences and with every new relationship there is new ‘nectar’

And for the compatible part? It’s not a test drive, it’s not an experiment, you’re not testing your partner. You’re not laying them down and setting quizzes to check their sexual habits. You’re making love with them, and yes subsequently you learn about the things I mentioned. It’s true that people’s sexual preferences change, and sleeping with a person does not mean you know all there is to them or that that is all they are, just like dating a person does not mean you know them a hundred percent, but to an extent you know them. You know what they like and how they like and they know you too. And just like I wouldn’t advice a person to marry a stranger, I wouldn’t advice a person to marry a “sexual stranger”. But of course that’s just me.

I will reiterate that there is no nectar to save, if you are in love with the person you chose to live the rest of your life with, if you wake up every day choosing to love that person, every day is filled with new nectar.

If you read my point 6 to you and still think I am talking of sec depleting women, I believe we have to end the discussion here.

P.S.: sex is the act of sexual intercourse.

Sexual/romantic relationship is the whole shenanigans that makes up the interaction between the partners for the duration they are together.

angelfallz:
A good number of criminals aren't smart.

If they were, how would we catch them?

Besides, there is more to the story than meets the eyes.

Ovems:
Have you seen Falling Into Your Smile?

Mbanu.

Is it also c-drama?

Yonce:
Awww.
Honestly didn't care for Runyu, like at all. Phoenix had my heart (and J's heart) from the get go.
All the parents' shenanigans and Runyu's trauma was just boring stuff I had to get through to get me some sweet dose of the phoenix and his flower girl.

If you like historical dramas with badass FL you can try Palace of Yanxi. I think it's also on Netflix and it's on YouTube too.

Thanks dear.

Don't let Runyu's fans catch you. The fact that he has fans all over shows why women keep falling for bad men. Like they couldn't see his manipulation and call it love?

How can a man claim to love you and say nothing when you sleep with his brother? How can you know the person who killed your future in-laws and you protect the person to keep the woman by your side?

Imagine it was Phoenix who was in Runyu's shoes? The Heavenly Realm would burn that night.

I will try Palace of Yanxi.

Phoenix.... I wanted more of them post wedding.

When Phoenix threw his Phoenix Feather and it protected her... My gosh! I said BoBo just make up with her.

Notice how passionless he was as the King of the Demon Realm?

Anybody working under him should just pray his marriage/relationship works everyday

duchaB:
Sister, I am not trying to glorify promiscuity in in gender here. But as for LADEIS, the nectar thing doesn't really play a very important role in the final analysis, even spiritually. For,as long as a lady still has her uterus and ovaries in place and she is healthy, she is not a broken vessel and can be as good for any man.

Virginity is overrated. Moderation is key.

Where did you see virginity? Abi do people lose their virginity gradually these days?

I thought the phrase 'pop the cherry' means it is a one-time thing?

Read my point 6 to Khnoifer; that is the corresponding of nectar for a man.

cococandy:
1. Financial support and “emotional” support don’t accumulate in the same way. If a partner walks away from a relationship and loses the support of the non-financial partner, they will be affected but not in the same way the other partner will be affected if they lose the financial support of the earning partner.

2. Because we live in a world that values money over everything else, the non-earning partner tends to suffer more. In many cases, they still remain the partner who’s carrying the non-financial responsibilities of family even when divorced ( e.g moms who still remain the primary care giver)

3. Also, spousal support is not indefinite. It’s usually calculated based on realistic situations that applies to each couples’ union and only lasts for a certain amount of time.

4. If the wife or husband put their career on hold for 10-20 years to support the family in other ways, it’s a bit simplistic and unreasonable to assume that they can immediately walk away from the relationship with the financial skills to pick up right where they left off decades ago. The support is to give them a leg up back to a level where they can reasonably begin to make their own money too and it ends.

5. It’s not applicable in all cases and It’s not forever.

6. Ideally, all the finances they accrued during the marriage should be split and each person walks with what is due to them with no strings attached. But that’s not always feasible.

7. I guess my point is that it’s not an unreasonable practice that just started out of nowhere.

1. That means men bring more to a marriage since they are the major financial partners. I think emotional support is equally important. I was under the weather some years ago and trust me, I needed my family to care for me. I wouldn't have survived without them irrespective of the amount of money in my bank account.

2. I am talking of emotional support between spouses.

3. I see

4. I don't expect someone who was out of job for that amount of years to bounce back immediately. I however believe you cannot hate me and like my money/emotional support. If you think I am not good enough to stay married to, biko leave my money alone just how I would not expect you to support me financially.

5. Ok

6. I prefer this.

7. Interestingly most of the cases that make it online (perhaps they are dramatic hence making the news) are unreasonable (to be kind). From Dr. Dre's wife wanting $1m monthly to maintain her current lifestyle to awarding a girlfriend $50k per month to maintain her lifestyle for ten years.

I would prefer a case where the financial spouse shared their assets incurred during the marriage in a certain ratio. I would also want proof that the stay at home spouse actually provided emotional support to deserve the shared assets.

I just watched a real show (Case Closed) where the man was the stay at home partner for 15years while the wife worked with no kids. When he said he did not want a divorce, the romantic in me said 'awwww, he wants the marriage to work'. Apparently, the idiot pretended to be sick all those years, the wife kept spending money trying to make him well because they couldn't make a diagnosis. She also provided emotional support because he was sick. Meanwhile, the mofo was well enough to co-open a non-profit organization and carry heavy boxes and appear in the news. The judge threw out his case and apparently, he does not deserve any support.

KanuSE:
The mother probably didn't want his death to come directly from her.

It makes no sense.

The more people involved, the more people would finger her.

Liposure:
Can we blame feminism and modern day sensibilities for all that is happening today?

Feminism is not the only culprit.

Men abused/still abuse their leadership position in the home first.

Feminism especially the modern variants is just a wrong/narrow minded response to it.

kangminhyuksho:
Aigoo, I don't watch Chinese dramas. Hopefully someone else here would have seen it.

Someone has, try it if you can.

It had/has a cult following.

Yonce:
I watched the whole thing on YouTube in like 4 days which is hilarious to me cause the CGI. . .oh lawd!
I had to drop my brain at the door to throughly enjoy it.

Have you seen other Cdramas?

Did not notice the bad CGI till I started reading comments on YouTube. When I was done, I read several analysis, re-watched parts on YouTube for several days and finally read the novel the series was adapted from.

I watched it on Netflix though.

I thoroughly enjoyed the story and I love love Phoenix, the Moon God & the Devil Princess (she called Muci till I started hearing Muci everywhere).

Phoenix was an interesting character. While he makes a fantastic husband and Team Lead, he is not suited to be the Heavenly Emperor. He is too guileless, innocent and magnanimous for that role. Luckily, he never had the ambition. Runyu was a better fit.

I don't even think he should be overall leader of anything; same behavior he had as King Yi. He is too emotional and needs to be balanced romantically to function. I have been looking for proof however, I think he was a virgin the first time he slept with Jinmi.

Runyu has a lot of fans; I always sensed something was off from when he went to pick Jinmi from the Floral Realm. Before his manipulation was open, I just thought Phoenix's love was the type that would make Jinmi blossom while Runyu would end up damping her spirits.

I loved when P & J met, I loved her time as his page 'boy', I loved their stint in the Human Realm especially when they were together in the Mountains, I loved when Phoenix went dark and Jinmi trying to win him back. I loved his speech on their wedding night when he said he was too 'soft hearted'; I loved the showdowns at the White Wedding and Black Wedding.

I did not understand the talk of Jinmi not understanding love till she killed our baby Phoenix. Phoenix was the only man she wanted around her. Infact, she was the one always touching him. Her revenge did not make sense to me; I would have preferred if Runyu hypnotized her or something. I am sure if she killed Phoenix the first time she pointed a knife at her mother's memorial stance, he would have understood and forgiven her faster. To pretend for three years, give him your hair to keep on the most important part of him and stabbing him from behind? Na

And to think Phoenix was still asking about lobe at the point of death and was concerned that their tree died when he went to visit his parents' memorial. Omo, that guy is a lover boy, how I like them.

I watched 'A Beautiful Life (movie)' and loved it.

After AOL, I started Love 020 and dumped it. While I actually like the ML, I did not understand if the FL was in a relationship with a deity or a man.

truthsayer009:
I couldn't agree more, what a balanced analysis.

That's why being a "GOOD" or "NICE" guy/girl in relationship wouldn't help anyone, you have to be civil and be kind when it requires or take firm hard decision when it requires too.

Most partners always want to take as much as they can while giving little to nothing in return. It seems to be a winner vs loser game. So there is usually conflict of interest in most relationships.

If you discover that your partner is giving little or nothing in return, it's best to walk away.

Same reason why i advocate that both men and women should Work and earn a living, take care of children, learn how to change diapers, bathe for the children and both should also know how to cook. The purpose of this is to make sure no one is looking down on the other's job and feeling they are just chilling. Each person would still retain their original roles but they must also participate in everything.

Motherhood is hard, earning an honest decent living is also fvcking hard too. Both of them need to participate to appreciate the efforts they both put in.

@bold: true.

Good girl/boy is only an issue when paired with bad boy/girl.

BRATISLAVA:
Innately they aren't unless they were always one. Have a look at children.

Until societal expectations confines they created for themselves get the better of them, men would be themselves as they were born, not made to be. Left to nature, we would get the same spectrum of men and women.

Unfortunately, religion causes a form of nurture narcissism in males. Followed by cults like the red pill which advocates making men narcs so that they can subjugate women in order to remain "superior". These nurtured people are irrational about it.

Meanwhile society is always nurturing women to be subservient/submissive, to be the supply for the narcs (men). When they don't fit, we hear things like wicked women, egotistic women, masculine women, etc. There's nothing like that.

Nurture it is.

@bold:

Which religion?

You think only men exhibit the behaviors in the OP?

Who nurture these men?

Youngpo413:
Ladies got the 'pussi',so they make the rules...

It is no longer a man's world?

Saintmary:
You have given him the deserved responses. Lots of them don't know that men can also be damaged goods, they've been busy focusing on women.

1. Their private parts, will change in physical appearance because of overuse.
2. Their semen and sperm will reduce in viability over time as they grow older.
3. They will begin to experience erectile dysfunction, and the severity will be influenced by their misuse of their body.

The devil has really deceived a lot of men and the worst part is that the women they think they are saving marriage for are the ones that will bear the pains of their consequences.
Well done for standing up to bullying.

@bold: please get out of my head.

Saintmary:
All women are asking for is simply that you men should zip up.

The female's private part is acidic. Putting your stuff inside too much will darken the skin of your something.
Bursting too much will wrinkle and sag your sac over time.
There's always a difference between the private part of a man who disciplines himself and that of a man who indulges too much.

I said earlier in another thread that the secret of women is in the hands of men, and the secret of men is in the hands of women.

Stop insulting women, one day, which is now here, women will drop their discretion and expose your secrets to the public.
And nobody wants an overused product.

If any male wishes to be wise, be wise.

This was funny to read

Khonifer:
1. The narrative that sex is a thing that takes from women is unhealthy and frankly, in 2021? Just tiring to come across. There is nothing wrong with having a healthy sexual relationship with a man you’re in love with regardless of whether or not that relationship will end in marriage.

2. Sex does not deplete a woman, there is no nectar being sucked out, it is just that - sex.

3. There is nothing to ‘save’ as this nectar or virginity as op refuses to call it, does not define or enhance your life in anyway.

4. In my opinion marriage with a person you haven’t even been with sexually is very risky. As you have no idea about the person’s appetite, what’s and needs, likes and dislikes, people try to act like sex isn’t that important in relationships but it is.

5. I am all for getting to know your partner a full hundred percent before getting into a hopefully life long relationship with them.

6. I also can’t help but wonder when we women too will enter marriage and be offered nectar. Abi God didn’t give the other gender nectar??

1. Sexual relationships take something from men and women and the more sexual/romantic relationships you enter, the more your nectar/passion (for men) is depleted.

2. The OP never said sex depletes a woman; it said the more sexual/romantic relationships, the more the nectar is depleted.

3. Virginity is a minute part of nectar and cannot be depleted over time except the concept of virginity has changed. You lose it once and cannot be regained except by surgery. Women owe their husbands nectar; men owe their wives passion of life which in turn would beautify their relationships/marriage.

4. People's sexual preferences change over time. And I have only heard of one case of a guy actually having sex with his girlfriends to see who is most compatible with him; and I think he is psycho (he is infact psycho). People have sec in relationships because they are sexually attracted to each other or feel it is a part of relationships. The fact a man/woman 'satisfies' you before marriage does not mean that is who they are. You would not know someone who has a low libido by having sex with them once a week/month. The excitement to see you is enough to make them turned on and perform acrobatics in bed. A woman might give her man BJ because she wants to secure the ring and suddenly realize it is 'sinful' after marriage; a man might be ok with his woman on top till they get married and he 'remembers' he is the 'head' of the home.

5. I don't know how this comes in however, I agree with you.

6. I believe I touched on a man's passion in the OP and spoke about it on page one or page two. Have you ever seen a young man in his first relationship/ first few ones? The wonder of his woman, the excitement he brings to the table, how he is fascinated and armoured by every little thing his woman does? How he thinks of pleasing her? How he spends time to think of little things that makes his woman happy? How sweet, kind and loving he is before he becomes hardened and cynical? How he easily believes her? How he wants to please her in bed if they are into sex? How he is content with his woman in his arms after a long day? How he confides in her without shame? How he is vulnerable to her? That is the passion men bring to the table which is correspondent to his woman's nectar. Some women are very lucky to choose men who still have passion in them.

Youngpo413:
you are very correct....ladies really needs to close their legs till their wedding night...it's not a big deal.

Men & Women need to close their legs until their wedding night except men want to be gay emass.

This my dear thread is active again

BRATISLAVA:
Isn't that the character of a narc? To think they can change another person to suit themselves?

Most men are narcissists, and they call it being born to lead.

@bold:

By nature or nurture?

abbey621:
Here's a shocker, majority of humans in this world are narcissists. It is one of the core traits of being human, let no one tell you otherwise! In life everything must be looked at in terms of severity, we all have that dark side but majority of us are fortunate to have anchors that limits that darkness. Behavioral analysis of the human psyche is a controversial yet often misguided journey, what you call narcissistic, another will call assertive or leadership. For example in the business world, the best and most successful business moguls are by definition narcissist, they are obssessed with their craft and often will break your heart if you don't have a thick skin. In relationships, if you are dating a man or married to a man that basically does everything for you then naturally you've given him the power of a narcissist, same goes for guys who can't cook, sleep or think properly without their girlfriend/wife.

It's part of life and it is completely unavoidable, the real question here is this, how does one narcisst maintain a relationship with another narcisst? Think about it, unless you don't have an emotional connection with your partner, how do you resist the urge to have a say in how they dress, eat, mingle etc? Your woman did hair, makeup and you didn't even notice due to hectic work schedule, do you call her a narcissist for having emotional tantrum or getting upset? You are broke and could not fulfill a promise to your wife so you bone face and start a fight just to avoid that promise, are you a narcissist? It's one thing to throw around fancy words and use theories, it's another to actually view things in practical/real life.

@bold:

Very much on point!

It is more effective for the wife to poison the husband herself except she planned to commit suicide or disappear afterwards.

They should investigate the daughter very well.

There is more to the story than meet the eyes.

Her laughter sounds so hollow and forced.

May they get to the stage she doesn't need to 'prove' they are happy.

Amen.

NoToPile:
Loool this madam is vexing.

Its good to marry a working wife but this their mindset of not providing is totally not it.

Lagos husbands

The ones that would have and still not provide

NoToPile:
Yeah I get the drift.

I was actually beginning to wonder if its out of place for a man to provide.

The men want the model below:
Joint provider + absolved of domesticity + Sole ruler/ undisputed C-in-C.

The above would make for the model wife.




The women want Sole provider + joint domesticity (or paid) + joint rulership.

Unfortunately in Nigeria, we believe:
1. He who pays the piper dictates the tune unless it is the woman
2. A man should solely dictate the tune check point one

'Nigerian' husbands and wives are a perfect fit with all their innuendos constantly trying to outmanoeuvre themselves.

The day both parties come to the table with equity and clean hands, we will begin to see the light

Who has watched Ashes of Love (a Chinese Fantasy Drama)

Let's discuss

pocohantas:
Child support is for the kids and it is a problem to our darling redpillers. I know what I am talking about.

I have no problems with child support as both parents must co-parent.

I have problems with spouse support which has become mixed up with child support.