₦airaland Forum

descarado:
And you see why families keep n failing. Why homes keep on breaking.
Somebody in this era and year is opening mouth to say a wife is not a family.

U see why Nigeria will never get better?

I always want to understand their family dynamics.

I thought basic Social Science in Primary School is that a family is husband + wife + children?

Many damaged folks.

She is a security risk and should be sent out of the camp.

If she is not willing to serve, she can get exemption certificate.

LutanFyah:
Why should a man consult some wife before buying a gift for his mother?

The wife is never family, she can go anytime she wants (especially when the man is broke and sick) but a mother will stick with her children no matter what.

Won't it better to marry your mother since she will stick with you no matter what?

Or didn't your mom stick to your dad?

I am trying to understand why you reason that way as per the bold.

dasauce:
You can now see that your analysis is shit and devoid of stupidity..

Nigeria is the way it's because of people like this OP and this upcoming DICTATOR..



You're here setting moral standards and in your personal life you might be a rapist

I stop paying attention to people like you the very first time i discover the kind of mistake we have as president, so you can only deceive yourself

There is something wrong with the US & UK.

With all their 'freedom' to have sex as they please, they still consume sooooo much porn.

cooooooks:
Marital rape is not seen in the Bible, I know that very well. Cc

I can't agree to that notion though

What don't you agree with?

crackhaus:
But still a woman like the wife nonetheless... na the same rope tie all of them las las because if there was a good relationship between the two ab initio, only then could common sense have come into play.

Mother accepts a car gift without considering the pregnant DIL.
Wife is angry and divorces husband over a car gift to her own mother (by marriage).

Summary — no love lost between the two in the first place, and chances are the wife may just end up behaving the same way when it gets to her turn many years in the future.

The fault started from the husband. He has 90% of the fault in this scenario.

If the MIL considered herself a mother to the DIL, she would not accept the gift.

I blame the DIL for marrying such a man out of all the 3.5 billion men in the world.

@Summary: True. I know someone who had two terrible marriages (MIL issues) and is a very terrible MIL today. To think they claim to be Christians beats me. I am sooooooooooooo disappointed in them (mother & son).

crackhaus:
Which one be mutually sustained bruises na?

See my point is, bruising is not a good enough criterion for determining if a woman was made to have sex without her consent. Bruising can occur with lovers, married couples, and even first time sexual encounters (consensual).

– A woman who meets a man with a larger penis than she was accustomed to, can get bruised (lubrication or no lubrication).
– A quickie between partners that didn't provide time for enough lubrication before forced insertion, can cause bruising.
– A vagína that looses lubrication on its own because the partner stayed too long without cumming, can be bruised.

You even mentioned emotional injury as another criterion for sexual abuse. How do you prove such in court?

In the cases above, both of them would work together to resolve the issue/ they have a mutual understanding.

@Emotional injury: those were the examples of humiliating acts I stated; denial of sex, trading sex for favours, I will even add unwillingness of to satisfy your spouse.

I was not discussing the context of proving in court (do couples go to court to seek re-dress for such things?); more like defining what is sexual abuse.

NoToPile:
@ bolded - definitely not in naija

I actually didn't have Nigeria in mind sha.

cooooooks:
Wow.

Hope you're consistent across genders with that view.

I am the queen of 'I don't believe in marital rape.'

I opened a thread years back after research using the tenets of Christianity, Islam and Nigerian Civil law which was banned as several peeps tore their underwears and went bonkers on the thread.

I should have the writeup somewhere if I check my files.

donaldwhal:
I am sure it’s an entry level job in a one-man business.
If you can’t find a place to be staying which is that’s closer to Mile 2, you are bound to crash out soonest. You can look for friends or family friends that you can be staying with just to test-run the work itself to know if it’s for you.

Even those that you hear or see have been going from Sango to farther Lagos areas for years are not finding it easy at all.

It tells so much on your health and general well-being. You would always love to see Friday and hate to see Monday.

Think about your mental health first. The stress level could affect your fertility rate also. So if you are already married, consider your family too and your ‘duties’ to your wife or else you will be full of excuses when it’s time to resume for home duties too.

I live in Maryland and recently got a high-paying job at Mile 2-Coconut axis. I turned it down. It is constant, traffic is already waiting for you at Cele Bus stop as early as 6am.

A colleague who lives in Agege and works in Ajah doesn’t get home until 11pm once he lives home at 4:30am. He nearly died recently because he couldn’t take his scheduled medication due to many ailments that the stress of commuting has caused for him.

@bold:

This is what they don't get.

Kaybee9033:
What happened to ‘BUT’
As in are you normal?
You got a job in this hard time you already have the mindset of BUT. Can’t you ignore the BUT and put CAN.
Guy if you don’t take that job someone from badagry will have that job and be fulfill with it. Sehbi you no wan get sense ni wen you waka for another several months if not year before you get another job then your brain will reset to default about not putting BUT in any job opportunities you see.

The person in Badagry picks the job and after two years, he slumps on the road and dies.

Then poor village people doing their work at Benin would be accused of a self-inflicted death at Iyana Iba.

Learn to prioritize quality of life and health over money.

Klass99:
Thanks.

@ 1st Bold - What is golden showers? I have never heard of it.

Spitting sounds like an irritating and disgusting act, why would anyone want to make it part of their bedroom activity?

@ 2nd Bold - Lol, this table you're shaking ehn! They will soon come for you.

Urinating on your spouse

We are in the age of 'do whatever makes you happy'

I have never been afraid to shake tables I state my opinions freely

Two years old coordinated enough to refuse standing up without tears.

He also had the mental awareness that the four year old's seat was 'collected' and went to push the occupants of the seat when he started crying (natural response).

Congratulations on your Super Two

On bullying: I don't see the bullying. Except in situations where they are designated seats, people would always seat on empty spaces they find.

Even if the Bible was on the seat, ushers frown at people 'keeping' seats for their friends.

Besides, no one told the 'bullies' that the seat was occupied. They just saw a Bible on it.

I doubt four year olds have the sense to ask if the Bible means the seat is occupied.

But again, it is the OP's thread; if his Super 2 could fight off bullies, why can't the Emperor 4 have the sense to ask if the seat is occupied?

Hmmmmmmm.

This OP should be a Nigerian Politician.

If after eight years he doesn't deliver on his manifesto, you cannot hold him accountable; you don't even understand the promises/commitment he made.

While divorce is over the top and very rash, a man who buys a car for his mother while he & his pregnant wife doesn't have a car is bad market and useful as P in psychology.

A mother who accepts a car gift from her son when he doesn't have a car for his expectant family is a bad mother and very manipulative woman. Even if her son doesn't have sense, she should have rejected the isonu gift and re-trained him a bit.

Enjoyed the unwise decision of going through this thread again.

MoonWater:
That's why you can never become a Governor

Hahahahahaha!

Wahala dey.

NoToPile:
Well since it's about male rape.

A friend of mine was raped by a lady, they were not married, they were not even dating.

This should he around 7 years ago. She drugged his drink and then 'helped herself' dude was even a virgin. The guy later realized and sent her out. She got pregnant came to inform the guy, guy chased her away. The parents were the ones who accepted the baby, dude said he never wanted to have anything done with her.
He was my friend and at that time the mother was my boss, she even told me to speak with him, he politely(not very politely) told me not to have that discussion with him.

He didnt even the see the baby, as we all know children like that are always a splitting image of the husband. He didn't even see the girl.

Now when they asked the lady, she said she really likes H, (H is a confirmed fine boy, ladies will drool after him but he was decent and morally upright guy) has been giving H greenlight, H didn't succumb . H was serving at that time, she then visited H and drugged the drink and helped her self. When the mama was narrating the story of her interview with the girl I was dumbfounded, the most annoying part of everything is the lady is very pretty , you would always look twice at her.

The question I kept asking was why would she do that, she could have gotten the attention of any guy she wanted.

I didn't believe its possible for her to actually'help herself to it' questions like 'how will the thing enter when he was drugged' so I raised the issue I was on a PG program then, we were about 4 in the lab that day and 3 were guys, they all said its very possible even our acting supervisor confirmed its possible.

The tragic thing is that she can sue him for child support once DNA test fingers him as the father.

So a man has no right to impose a woman keeps his baby and must be a 'father' if he is raped.

A woman has the right to keep/abort a pregnancy and insist for child support if she had the baby outside the man's will.

crackhaus:
Buka, even a lubricated vagína can get bruised especially because lubrication is not usually sustained for the entire duration of a sexual encounter.

The bruises are mutually sustained It's different from trying to penetrate a dry woman without lubricants.

Ask her why

Hahahahahaha!

What is the aim of the association nitori Olorun?

Isn't it obvious that the babe wore it out of lack?

neyoohhh:
Only 20 million millionaires and 2759 billionaires exist globally.

Average Jobs are for sustenance. .. not meant for wealth creation... inflation is your enemy.

Great income jobs... invested early.. millionaire in dollars.

Business ... Value/ Scalability/competitive advantage... Billionaire.

80 percent of the total global population will never hit a networth of a million dollars in their lifetime... That's billions of people, so pretty much the system only favours a few.

@bold: the earlier people realize that and embrace contentment, the better.

Flier:
He is right,it’s easy to be rich but to be wealthy is another case entirely
You will need lot of help
Government
Friends and family
Bank
Politicians and so on

I agree.

Ademola47:
By dirty, I thought you would mean involving diabolical means.

All join.

@OP:

Rich and very comfortable (jetting around the world on hols, kids schooling all expense paid in jand, a few houses here and there) Yes!

Richest Black Man, Richest White Man types? I doubt it 99.999999999%.

MiSimon:
Of course

Case study; Hushpuppy, Invictus Obi

Cruise

obembet:
If you say rich, I will tell u that it's possible in Nigeria but wealthy, I never see one

You can quote me any billionaire incase am wrong.. am ready to open all their yansh

You must have a lot of info.

youngest85:
Not in Nigeria because even if your hands are clean, the majority of your customers hands are not clean

Hahahahahaha!

Klass99:
Lol , you're just determined to be a jackass.

First of all, how married couples claim their spouse raped them is beyond me. Do their bodies not belong to each other?

There are exceptional cases where forced intercourse can be inappropriate and rightly classified as rape.

In a marriage where there's recurring domestic violence and the abuser forces intercourse with the victim, I can see how that will be classified as rape.

Coming back to this thread, I am curious (so pls educate me) how does a man who says he is tired and not in the mood, still able to get it up? Enough to produce a hard-on, which his wife used to penetrate herself?

Are you saying, the human dick has a mind of its own and it controls its owners? You're the logical gender o! How can a small part of your entire being be ruling you like this nah?

Don't rise to the occasion and perhaps you will not be raped. A woman can't rape you if you don't give her an erection to play with.

Talk to your pikin (the one in-between your legs) tell him not to wake up, no matter the provocation abi na seduction - show him who's the boss. IF you're truly not in the mood.

@bold;

Very well said.

I would rather say sexual abuse if bodily/valid emotional injury was involved e.g. say the spouse uses force to penetrate a dry vjay that you see bruises; hits their partner to make them succumb; withholding sex for gains/punishment; performing acts their spouse finds humiliating/unnatural (anal sex, golden showers, spitting, negative name calling, parties etc.) etc.

The OP should go and sleep; not all feelings are valid.

cooooooks:
Male rape is so funny. Let's all laugh.

Who is the male that was raped?

The weak defense husband? Abeg, he should wear a easier pants/boxers to remove next time.

I don't believe in martial rape.

Octobertwentysix:
Abeg which family, mere looking at the mother you would know that such is never happening, it's so sad, don't be surprised if the family would just accept their fate and even accept the man as her husband, even nairaland had married her off to the Man by their caption, they referred to her abductor and rapist as her husband. It is well.

Sad.

If the 'husband' is really the CC of Boko Haram, can they refuse him?