₦airaland Forum

My issue is early to bed, early to rise literally....

Sleeping 12am - 7am would do my body good than 8pm - 4am (which is when I would likely wake up when I sleep that early).

And if I sleep for 8hrs, wake up, and sleep additional two hours, the first 8 hrs is cancelled and I only slept for two hours.

jeff1607:
Tried all of these ,it’s 5hrs now still can’t get some sleep.

Village pipo wehdone

Hahahahahaha

ddjay:
Op, strongest girl in the world I don't agree oh, go to our rural areas, those small girls farming, pounding yam, carry okpa etc on their heads, see those mushin girls, aba and warri girls hustling in the markets from morning to night..... they will carry this thing and throw away sef. Abi you never see where they slapped someone

In your village, 7 yr olds carry two bags of cement?

Interesting.

I think there is more to the story Sha.

Raalsalghul:
I don't want to believe that men in diaspora are still foolish to come home and pick wives. I don't just want to!

Hahahahahaha!

Maybe they are.

linearity:
Your arguments are sound, however I want to correct a wrong assumption that you made.

In the Western world, your wife is equal and entitled to half of the family wealth including your 401K retirement saving, regardless if she works or lazy all day in the house.

The law believes that, it is impossible for her to contribute zero and therefore equates those contributions to half.

Even if she is a full house wife, she is entitled to half. You even have to pay more to her in the event of a divorce, if she was a full house wife.

The reason being that, the law seeks to keep the family dynamics as close to the same after divorce, so once they calculate the difference between your income and hers, which will be zero because she is a full house wife, you will be made to come up with more money in terms of spousal support, so that the income of the two homes after divorce will seem equivalent.

Hence, unless you are super rich and don’t mind working and paying your divorce wife salary for the rest of her life, while she does nothing and you do all the work....don’t buy into the none-sense ‘full house wife’ crap, send her to school, let her work...if she is making more than you, the better, the law sees both of you as equals regardless and the burden will be lighten on you if both of you are at the same level or close income-wise.

The only exception to the above default premise of the law is, if you sign a prenup with her and specify what she is entitled to in the prenup.

@bold:

This is where the problem started.

Making divorce 'attractive'.

Why should a wife / husband hope to live almost same standard of life with/without marriage?

Especially when they would not provide the support /resources they did in the marriage? It's not like the wife would still provide the domestic support she did in the marriage.

Thereishel:
This is the type of lady we are talking about home or abroad you want to be equal with man? When all religion divide teaches man is your head and head of household so you want to usurp his position?

What are the duties of the husband as the head?

Cocao:
Your post reeks of assumptions. Yes, I know what the word means, and yes, I mean it as it is.
Your marriage may be the one where domination is important, it does not have to be like that.

Before you speak of other nations, maybe be familiar with their statistics. That you don't hear about them does not mean it is not prevalent. You are obviously a product of search engine and social media algorithms. This link gives a brief insight to domestic violence in other immigrant communities.

http://www.futureswithoutviolence.org/userfiles/file/Children_and_Families/Immigrant.pdf

I am wary of the source of information.

That aside, was an analysis done to see why domestic violence increased between partners when they migrated to the US

Is there anything in the US/its system instigating domestic violence?

Do the UK, Canada, and other popular immigration hubs have same stats?

CalliDora1:
A God-fearing woman will never do such.

Marry a born-again Christan.
Marry a virtuous woman.
Marry the will of God not oustside His will.

I just found this funny.

Not saying you are wrong.

afroxyz:
It is only nigerian women that this bullshyte is predominant. Forget all that talk about being trained to be submissive in nigeria. Asian women are also trained to be submissive, yet they stick to their husbands when they go abroad. Why naija women own come different.

It would be a worthy study.

What is the difference between a Chinese husband and a Nigerian one?

What is the difference between a Chinese wife and a Nigerian wife?

jornwhite:
What the difference between you and those asking who is bank rolling, knowing her job could as well let you in on whether she can afford it or not. i like your approach

I am more concerned about the time for road trips.

A number of people can afford basic luxury like this. They might not have the time or the interest to do so.

Made4naijalove:
Cover it up and nobody will know..buy good crochet, push-up bra and package am well

I wanted to ask how people knew her boobs were saggy online.

Foolishness in high places

Lewisdinho:
Op When are you coming to Akwa Ibom, we have nice places too. Email me when you're ready to come to Akwa Ibom. You will sure enjoy your visit..... We have nice delicacies

Akwa Ibom is cool

Akwa Ibom ado ok. (Hope I got it right)

2cribz:
But i no lie na

You did not lie.

For your level.

Fixed:
Why are you asking who foots the bill as if it costs an arm and a leg to travel to these places? Inside Nigeria self! Na your type dey think every rich man na thief.

If you live in FCT you can visit Gwarinpa pottery, Mpape crushed rock, Usuma Dam and Gurara falls for less than 10k. Gate fees and snacks inclusive. Even Benin Republic is accessible for far less than that amount from Mile 2.

Poverty is a disease and poverty mentality is a curse. Oh God let me not be poor.

You see Poverty mentality?

It is truly a curse!

2cribz:
As what. Forget pics. U know how many she don bill for her useless trips. ASUU don strike na. Wont be shocked if she end up as rituals sacrifice. . Once i see i love traveling and meeting new ppl as hobby. Then u are a runs gal. Okpo

The bold and many more is why I am a huge fan of same social class marriage.

Imagine a lady who grew up in a home where they travel every year outside the country or go on road trips to a man like this poster.

Disaster waiting to happen.

Ibebu:
I don't believe you. No naija girl would spend her hard-earned money on tourism. They can spend on clothes, properties and cosmetics, but certainly not on tourism.

@bold:

Na wa o!

You guys must think everyone is on the same level with you.

psucc:
Earning what @ 20?

Bros, you have to open your mind and look around you.

Not everyone is earning poorly.

Not everyone is struggling to survive in Nigeria.

Not everyone have issues funding group trips around the world.

A trip to any of these places by road would not cost more than N100k in a group.

Some entry fee to these places are N1k, N2k etc and there are packages for group.

She has fruits in some pictures, max N1k. Except you want to spoil yourself, you pack provisions and scout around local joints. The beauty of group trips is that people bring stuffs and the excitement doesn't make you eat much.

You get bulk discounts for hotels and other facilities with two sharing a room.

It is honestly more of planning than money.

The money you use to eat extra meat in the buka or a bottle of orobo coke everyday, throw it inside kolo and break at the end of the year.

heniford2:
i think we need to start promoting this things in Nigeria our local government chairman's and our governors should do more than what the are doing

We need to.

Blossomfirst:
Hello Nairaland; I am Destine with my instagram handle as https://www.instagram.com/o.l.a.e.d.o_
I am in my 20s and I reside in Portharcourt, Nigeria though I studied in Enugu. I took it upon myself to travel to every single state in Nigeria; and though I am yet to achieve this dream, I am getting closer to achieving my dream. I have been to these states;

Lagos
Abuja
Niger
Bayelsa
Abia
Delta
Ebonyi
Edo
Nasarawa
Imo
Rivers (winks)
Kogi
Anambra.

I have been to Benin Republic too! I look forward to travel to the far north; plans are still underway

I detail my journeys on my various experiences travelling across the breadth and length of Nigeria and one thing I have discovered is that though we are from various tribes in Nigeria, we are all pretty much the same. I have learnt to respect the opinions, belief and culture of the people I meet. Trust me, you have no idea how fun this country can be!

Check out my pictures and enjoy the scenery of the country we call home!

For more travel stories and pictures check out my Instagram. Thanks

https://www.instagram.com/o.l.a.e.d.o_/

You Sabi chop life Sha!

This is what I call living the life!

Lovely pictures Lovely girl

Biko, when is the next trip?
And what job gives you so much time to travel around?

psucc:
And if I may ask, who foot the bills?

Remember what happened to FFK after answering the same question. So be cautious!

You don't have earning women around you?

Karleb:
The culture can be bulllshit sometimes. Deal with it!

The culture of not calling in-laws by their names?

I see.

mariahAngel:
That is the consolation!

What goes on nairaland are just mere rants which doesn't change anything.

@bold:

Karleb:
Why did you bring Igbo into this issue kwanu?

In yoruba, the highest form of respect he can give her is iyawo or call her by her child's name not calling her aunty. That is if the the woman in question is ready to call her Baba Oko or Booda.

That's the culture which can be bulllshit sometimes.

What is bullshit about not calling your in-laws name or aunty/uncle/Iyawo/egbon etc. especially when you don't see them often?

Even if you see them every day, does it cost you anything?

And you wonder why we lack an identity!

mariahAngel:
Most people here don't understand where the op is coming from... The Yoruba culture
Some even said it's "overboard"

People would condemn, rather than try to understand and respect the culture and ways of others.
As long as it is not western, it is dumb, stupid, backward, overboard, insane, fake, bla bla bla...

We're slowly killing/losing our beautiful culture to "wokeness"

One topic that made front page the other day, the op said his sister wanted her traditional marriage done in the city...omg! Bukky, ignorantly stupid comments filled the whole place!
If you understand the whole process of Igba nkwu nwaanyi in Igbo land (traditional marriage rites), you'd know that it was stupid of the op to create that thread in the first place.

Na today wokeness start?

How can a Yoruba person ask if he should call his elder brother's wife by name?

Sometimes, I try to understand some people here are trolling/ typing out their fantasies.

It doesn't align with what you see in the real world.

obeycian:
I have having some thought about this and I would appreciate if you guys could shed more light about it.
My elder brother's wife is way younger than I am, and I HV been calling her by her name. Is it appropriate to do so? Or shud I add a title before name whenever I am addressing her?

Calling her mummy XYZ or Iyawo wa or sister XYZ takes nothing from you.

She is your elder brothe's wife.

Omo Yoruba ni e.

Signs.

@Ochason:

Did you do marriage counseling or get counselled by elder couples before getting married?

You both marrying as virgins should have no effect on your sex life if you are both serious.

Even prostitutes were once virgins

@wife:
She is not mentally mature for marriage if she is not open minded to improve her sex life. Even if she has hangups, she should talk it with you or with a counselor or pray about it. She sounds like someone who has religious knowledge without wisdom.

@husband:
In addition to your lack of remorse and perseverance, you lack the leadership qualities needed to run your home.

You want doggy and oral, wifey doesn't want it or thinks it is a sin. In addition to your shock and taking the easy way of cheating, what did you do?

Did you research Christian materials online on sex? Did you pick your Bible and research Songs of Solomon? Did you pray about it?

Did you try to understand her real reservations about these acts (not my pastor say)?

Instead of solving your issues, you want to eat your cake and have it. (Want to enjoy what your wife offers while having wild sex with your

What counselling did they do you guys if you are thinking of cheating again and she is not open to adopt some or all of your preferences?

What are her sexual fantasies? Are you opening to fulfilling them within reason?

You both (with you leading) should go back to the drawing board, repent and re-strategize.

And if you want to keep cheating, don't bother wasting the counselor's or your wife's time.

lekki1444:
some men because of their karmic debt are put down on this planet to work in affliction taking care of their wives. its like a punishment. I can check if you fall into that category by looking at your star alignment. what is your date of birth and what is hers ? so i can look at both of your star alignments

Hahahahahaha!

WoundedLamb:
As expected, they are already calling out Nigerian girls as if they are like American men.

This particular 'American' man is no good though from rumours.

Aye n dori ko do!

sammirano:
This is the reason people cheat in marriages. trying to be pragmatic. while it's good. It's good where it stops.

crossfm:
Pride and stupidity won't let some people be.Even if she tagged you and so what.

Some men behaving like 5year old baby.
As a business man you should know that shutting doors on people will one day come back to hunt you.

Soon you will see him apologising to her.
Most of such apologises is useless, because you have achieved your aim and gotten the attention you craved for.

He displayed childishness there.

He should have tagged her back and invited her to spend her millions in his newly opened bar.