₦airaland Forum

I like my Nigerian peeps sha.

If only they expend this much energy to ACTUALLY obey what the Bible says about marriage and life matters.

But no, they are religious today, natural tomorrow, cultural next tomorrow, liberal next week, traditional next month depending on what suits their mischievous stance at the moment.

Tima1980:
People mind your business, Benue Governor have settled them.

@Topic:

Their family, their decision .

I am sure hubby would not be unproductive though.

Perhaps a new phase in life, perhaps it is the wife's watch now.

Afterall, for 11 years, the wife was supporting him. (Inferred from the husband's statement).

MiVida:
If you look at him sef, you'll know he's that soft type you can order around.

Oshe!

He 'looks' soft doesn't mean he is soft.

To build a billion euro enterprise is not moimoi.

benjanjo1:
@bukatyne catch your sub

If you understood my post, then you would know the sub is not mine .

If this news is true, this woman is as senseless as they come.

When you fight to ground zero, ensure you are ready to forgo it all.

If you knew you were willing to consider amendment, why didn't you seek a path which would raise the least dust if any?

Tomorrow, she will be known as Dr. Ifeyinwa whose Journalist husband beat blue black.

Imagine Channels TV now decides to sack the dude as a warning to thwir other employees or curry the favour of the public. He would now be a jobless, unemployable, cheating husband she has as a burden around her neck.

Honestly, we need common sense 101 taught in schools.

coolegbo:
My advice: Keep excelling! When he's tired of competing with you, he'll leave. But be very careful in revealing some sacred things about yourself to him.

Keep excelling

Till he kills him.

I prefer enemies to frenemies.

Often times, you know what you did to make an enemy:

You don't with frenemies.

Macobet:
hello nairalanders, I HV a relation who stays with us, we actually go to school together,we stay in d same room together but I feel this my relation feels am competing with him, anything I get 4myself, he gets it, anything I try to do , he wants to do, people I know he wants to know them to a point I once had a friend,(political), he went behind me ND made friends with him, I actually use to follow a senior friend in school, he now follows the person, ND I HV to withdraw from the person, he feel I should be second fiddle to him, and he's not happy once I achieve smtin,(recently I got a fone, bt his attitude since then towards me is different, )he always want to disturb my fone, )and many more,am always happy for him and helps him in anyway I can, I don't really know what to do,pls I need ur advice,

When would your schooling be over or when would you guys be able to separate?

Till then, keep a low profile especially if you are the one staying with him.

Save up your money and stop buying stuffs except necessities.

Also keep your business to yourself. No bragging, no discussions, no exposure, no need to prove yourself etc.

And learn to reply a lot of questions with a smile.

Rivalry can be deadly.

Goodluck.

Jossyfine:
With all these negative things you said about her, she still read medicine and and became a medical doctor.

Please, do runz girls become a medical doctor?

I just want to know.

Hahahahahahaha

Is medicine anti-runs?

Good response from Channels.

FashionCookie:
Were they in bondange/prison? Which one be freedom and Victor? Oya make them name an "Breakout"
Nothing Person no go see for Nairaland.

Hahahahahahaha

You mean the couple could not agree on a name for nine months?

If they couldn't meet at a point, they couldn't pray about it?

The circumstances of the child's birth did not give any inspiration?

They should leave the baby nameless till they can come up with a name.

How do they make general decisions in the house?

SweetCunt97:
And that's when some of the women will decide to take their revenge. Punishing him for his foolishness when his bones and dick was strong. Offcourse outsiders won't know the history behind such maltreatment.

Only a foolish woman would waste her life to exact revenge at the tail end of it.

If you also consider that revenge is a sin across religions and you might go down with it.

If I want to sin, let me sin that one that would profit me short and long term.

Enduring a toxic marriage for decades (the most productive part of one's life) so you can revenge for a few years (when you should be making up with your maker) doesn't seem profitable to me.

sayisayi:
Pius by name, Pernicious by nature

Hahahahahahaha!

sapphiere:
I probably want him fired. What if his family is aware of his waywardness? If he is fired and no money to spend on other women his sense will come back.

What does the woman gain if he is fired?

So in addition to his alleged infidelity and abuse, she wants to add joblessness to it?

If she was going to leave him, she would have done so since.

Instead of her to leave, report him to his/her parents or deal with him herself (if that is her cup of tea), she soils his name (and by extension hers and the kids), renders his jobless and still stay in the marriage.

Omo, it is good to have common sense.

It helps you process the end result before taking an action.

Stevenbright:
And when her husband was the destiny helper of other women, she was angry!

This life!

I will never take seriously any husband/wife justifying cheating because of their spouse.

If you do not like your spouse, divorce them or seperate.

Then you can do what you like.

You want to enjoy the benefit your spouse brings to the table without managing their shortcomings.

If they are so 'evil', end the marriage and Co-parent.

Strongwoman444:
It’s a natural thing but I will not let my jealousy to harm her because she was there before me and nothing will change it , our man he is very responsible he knows how he will manage both of us without any problem

Our man?

I like your spirit my sister.

Carry go.

While you are at it, test for STDs and STIs. Also go to destiny checkers to confirm yours is still intact.

And the moment you started cheating on your husband especially with a married man, you have lost the moral ground to 'judge' him or complain.

You and your husband are cut from same cloth. You only lamented earlier because you did not have the resources or willing participant to do what he was doing.

Goodluck to you both:

Our wife and our husband.

mariahAngel:
What about the wife of the man she's cheating with?

Welcome to the way the average Nigerian thinks.

Something becomes wrong when it affects us.

See how someone's husband became another woman's 'Destiny Helper'.

If that man is their sister's husband, then the OP quickly switches to 'Olosho', 'Wicked Woman' etc.

mariahAngel:
Intriguingly interesting!

This can be a Spanish Telenova 'Loved Again'

If Nigerian Christians know what marriage is about, this topic would not be an issue for them.

EMMY76:
In saner climes that idiot will be arrested and remanded in a psychiatrist hospital for rehabilitation. How can he abuse women like that no respect at all did his mother gave birth to him in such a family?

Abuse women?

Getting willing women pregnant is abuse? Did he deny the pregnancy?

Toor.

Lovely thread.

Kudos OP.

baby124:
A man is responsible for keeping his home together. Not the woman primarily. The woman should cooperate but that responsibility of marriage and keeping a home together is largely dependent on the man. He has to provide shelter, security and food for his family. That is the traditional role since you want to pretend to be a traditionalist. In modern society the women have stepped up and are helping out tremendously. So, don’t bring this nonsense to me. Traditionally women only need to take care of the home but a man builds his own home by building his house, marrying a wife and providing for her so she can take care of his children. You better stop falling for misogynistic lies where men are encouraged to abscond responsibility.

The man should even be the prayer leader and warrior in the home, when he claims to be the head. If you don’t have a true male figure around you, then you need to change your circle because all what you wrote there does not align with your own cultural beliefs and you know it.

I come from a home where my father understood this clearly and my brothers have carried it on. The respect from their wives no be here. They understand that leadership, true leadership requires showing by example. This includes behaving yourself in marriage, taking time out for your children and taking on the responsibility to ensure your home is stable first and foremost and everyone is happy. Absolutely no excuse for bad behavior and they no there is none, none of our family will ever support them either when they behave badly. So they behave themselves.

@Bold:

I am not happy where I see homes where the fathers are not fathers indeed spiritually, mentally and emotionally

Finances is just step one.

Openbusiness:
Absolutely wrong! Marriage is essentially = family = home making. When it comes to a home / marriage working, a woman's role is more suited to keeping a marriage together. Women are more emotional than men, therefore a woman's emotions should be more invested in a marriage than a man's emotions, otherwise there will be crisis eventually.

For example, look at marriages in the past and marriages today. For our parents or ancestors marriages, it was common to find marriages like 50, 60 years old marriages, but marriages today hardly last. The older generations their marriages worked not because they were perfect or the husband didn't have flaws or was always wealthy etc. It worked because women of the past generations were more emotionally invested in their marriages than the men, and this kept the marriage goes even when they had storms in their relationships.

If the man failed to provide, their wives didn't just walk away, or find another richer boyfriend outside. No, they stayed and endured the poverty with their husbands. Some of them their husbands would beat them, but they didn't divorce, they went through that phase, even if it was a lot of pain, they stuck through it all to work out their marriage at all costs. Why? Because they were more emotionally invested in the marriage. They loved their husbands more.

But women who are not more emotional invested, usually at the first sight of any ish, they jump ship. They are already always packed and ready in their minds, just waiting for any opportunity to jump ship and not put in the work to keep their marriage together. Everything must be rosy or they jump ship. But a woman who is more emotionally invested, she is like a Captain, she will rather sink with her ship. She will stay and put in the work to make her marriage work.

Funny how you want a wife to love her husband more so she can endure bullshit.

Well, I hope this is from the cultural standpoint.

BiggyB242:
Is just 4 & 5.

If you are nice and caring, they just take you as the mugu guy. Steady billings till they get tired, they only come around when they need something.

As for God-fearing, that's for our Christian sisters only, but not necessarily all guys working in the church, how many ladies fall in love with a prayer warrior .? Is just the instrumentalists, pastors(especially the young ones) and choirmaster you know these sets are well package with nice suit and voice.

I don't know about others States but when it comes to swag you will win an Edo girl's heart they like guys with swag, if you are fair complexion then is all over. 75 per cent of the guys are already bleaching. One was ready to get me a skin toning cream.

So if I open a bleaching cream outlet in Benin, I will make cool cash as there is a customer base?

Benin, here I come!

Openbusiness:
Just follow these 2 simple rules and there's a 97% chance everything else will fall in place and your marriage will be an enjoyable and lovable marriage:

1) Don't marry a woman you love more than she loves you. Marry a woman that loves you more than you love her. She must love you more. Don't even settle for 50/50. Maybe like 40/60, 30/70, 20/80 etc but don't be too extreme with it like 5/95, or you will end up running after your office secretary with big yansh

2) Never forget Rule #1

If you a Christian wife, better marry a man who loves you as Christ loved the Church.

Na Jesus Christ sacrifice with His life not the other way round.

Submission is expected from the wife as a response to his love.

Only you love, only you submit.

Goodluck.

@Englov: more years of God's bliss in your home.

Depressed101:
my brother to be honest with you. When you finish with building yourself. You will know that getting that one woman who suits your spec is a momentous achievement that is not easy to replicate.

In my opinion Breaking up with her is a bad idea

@bold: Iwe lomo

addictiv:
There are many stars in the sky, but only one can make your dreams come true ....let her be a part of the future you are building, bring her with you on your journey.

@bold:

Donald3d:
If you are sure she is the "real deal" . Here is what you should consider :

In life some of us get lucky and what we want, or should I say what is good for us comes to us on a platter, without stress.
Some people have to toil hard to get this same gift we get almost without stress, do you know what they would give and the sacrifices they would make just to have what you have ? .

Again, if you are sure she is the "real deal" in all ramifications, including spiritually. I urge you to find a way to simultaneously build yourself, while you build your relationship with her. The good girls wey remain for this life, dem be like 20 wey remain and I don marry one, remain 19 .

Seriously, one of the things I have learnt in life and has always helped me is, never give up something good just because you are pursuing something that is equally important. When it comes to a life partner, don't cling to the statement "there are many fishes in the ocean".

Yes, there are many fishes, but how many of them are good enough ?

This doesn't just applies to females alone, the number of good husband materials are also on a steady decline. Everybody is getting "woke" nowadays .

You are now a man (I believe), this may be the best or worst decision of your life.
Many people focus so much on building themselves financially (especially men), and they don't pay enough attention to the kind of partners they keep.

Your future partner would greatly determine your altitude in life, whether you are male or female.
Take a look at the most successful people in life, most of them have partners that played a huge role in their success.

If you hustle and turn a billionaire and marry the wrong wife, you can lose everything within a year.

AM I saying you should not build yourself ? NO !!

What I am saying is, money makes love/marriage sweeter when you have a good spouse to enjoy it with.

Lightning hardly strikes the same place twice.

If she is the real deal, find a balance. See keeping a good woman also as "building yourself"

You have said it all

Depends on the personality/ negative bend of the individual.

ifeegee:
I am not a birthday person, therefore, i usually will not understand the fuss .

this is one birthday i ain't keeping quiet.
Corona hit me this year and almost denied me of the opportunity to see this day, but, mercy said no.

my head is correct and my mind sound.
my faith is strengthened and my trust is grounded.

I am one of the lepers who has returne.

mod, I know I'm not one of the popular , I feel like being celebrated . I won't mind if you will indulge me by pushing to the front page. thank you

please can someone help me with how to upload the pictures . I've selected but can't find the upload icon thank you.

Happy birthday ma, God bless you now and always. Amen.

Dedicating Forever Young by Alphaville to you:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t1TcDHrkQYg