₦airaland Forum

Toni Braxton's Spanish Guitar:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bvd3qCnsAaY&list=RD8YzabSdk7ZA&index=27


Justin Timberlake: What goes around comes around: the lyrics

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TOrnUquxtwA&list=RD8YzabSdk7ZA&index=27


Mariah Carey: Thank God I found you

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7KVxjQUCyn0

LordKO:
Mama de mama! Every conscientious man who has a conscientious woman like you by his side as a wife won't know failure - unless "village people" de reason ihm matter, but God's power still pass dem.

Thank you very much

xynerise:
@Op. You should make Nigeria a case study because when you travel outside Nigeria, women are respected (even more in some countries).

This fight for the girl child is needed only in some cultures where women don't share equal rights with men. For example, in Igbo traditional, women don't share inheritance and some other rights.

But talking about becoming what you want to be, no one is stopping you. Infact, some girls are the ones limiting themselves from achieving greatness. When they stop seeing themselves as weaker vessel, then no one will see them as one

I came back to this.

In Igbo cultures where don't inherit, the men forfeit the paternity rights on their kids if they did not wed their mother. Does not matter if the father is ready to co-parent or not.

In Yoruba land, the father is automatically recognized as the father once he acknowledges the child. The woman (if they are still together) is accorded the rights and responsibilities of the wives in that family.

Do we have obnoxious customs; yes.

However, we need to look at reforming and annihilating them holistically and not in silos.

budaatum:
Yes I do. They send her brothers to school.


Sex, I think. It makes it easier for them to justify her not going to school.


Maybe we should look more carefully so we do not end up hammering our own thumbs.

The guardians send her brothers to school?

This is a unique case.

Is there a catch for them?

And kudos on the good work.

budaatum:
I would love to believe you but the number of Hausa girls who have already migrated to my own hometown just so they can go to school makes me believe otherwise.

Hausa girls are coming to Osun to school? Awesome.

The South is providing the solution and not inheriting the problem.

Your Govt would have to do capacity management, ensuring the current facilities can cater to the influx in addition to the existing kids. (now, I wish )

I am curious, who sponsors them though? Where do they stay? Who caters for them? Do their parents/guardians/husbands know where they are?

God grant her family and friends the fortitude to bear the loss.

hotwax:
calculator

I love mathematics and analyzing data to bring out patterns and resolution of problems.

Ayemileto:
Lol. This your comment made me check OP's history.

Then I found this thread:

https://www.nairaland.com/5915060/currently-dating-3-virgins-it


@OP, which of them is having issues now? Is it the 27 years old one or the 24 years old one or the 21 years old one?

OP come and answer.

budaatum:
1. I'm from Osun State. All those things you listed happen there so I do not see why I should solve the North's problem when I have the same problems down in my South.

2. Besides, if those problems are due to poverty, and I agree it has a lot to do with though the underlying cause of financial poverty is intellectual poverty, I'd be naive to think the problems wouldn't migrate South looking for solutions like our current Fulani in the South problem.

1. I never said you should solve the problems of the North, I said you should separate it. Their issues are more complex starting from mind shift. In the South, give the parents (not guardians because that is another evil) a stable source of income and most of the problems are resolved. In the North, you have to first educate them why they should pick the job, why schooling is good etc.

2. The particular problems under discuss cannot migrate to the South; it is more than 100 years late.

budaatum:
Yes. Little for her age 12 year old Kubura used to sit under a tree from 7am to 6pm making gari. Kubura has two brothers, one 14 and the other 7, who after school and ile kewu play all day.

Kubura calls me every term to thank me because she can go to school for the term after I banned her custodians - her aunt and uncle, since their mother is too poor to care for her own - from making her work during school hours. They agreed so long as they are not obliged to pay her paltry ₦5000 a term fees.

I hope I do not need to describe how she is being disadvantaged.

bukatyne:
You did not understand my post then.

Most of the issues are poverty based. If you really want to solve the problems of the North, then they need to be treated separately.

For optics and whinning/emotional post like the OP's, we can lump them up.

Do you think Kubura's guardians would send her to school if she was a boy?

Is her sex the problem or the condition of her parents?

When all we is a hammer, every problem begins to look like a nail.

AfroKnight:
Just imagine the uproar if Eric had “sized up” her boobs. Big brother would suddenly find his fake voice and summon the young man to the diary room to serve him quit notice.

Clear example of FEMALE PRIVILEGE.

Maybe not privilege, more like 'things would get away with.'

The dude would also not scream harassment, he will just move her feet and probably stand up making a mental note NOT to seat with her like that again IF he doesn't want it.

Jezking:
Cc: bukatyne
1. What professional services are you comfortable with the opposite sex?

Any and everything that is not in number 2. I kinda like encouraging female folks in their hustle

2. What professional services are you not comfortable with the opposite sex or would you never engage an opposite sex?
Tailors, doctor and probably a female masseuse

The ones I'm not comfortable with as a result of stories I've heard. The tailor story was particularly funny because it happened to someone I know

For the record I've a female barber and she is soo good at it, that she keeps the whole neighborhood wondering if she was a male in her previous life

Funny @ the female barber.

What's your issues with doctors and masseuse?

I use male tailors. Just that I introduce myself as Mrs. X and maintain a very professional relationship.

I wish we could get inside scoop of their relationship, in one interview, he said he cheated on her.

Something broke in Chris Brown and he changed from 'I need a boo' to 'Hoes, Hoes, Hoes' with plenty disguising tattoos.

Daddy wa, please STAY out of politics and face the church.

Thank you sir.

sexylassie2:
Some Nigerian men can sell their soul all because of america.

Many Nigerian men especially the ones nowadays are weak, easily enticed, no principle, anywhere belly face.

Gosh! We, women don suffer.

See how this one want to turn gay because of america, I am sure, you must have show the trans your dick for that trans to want to take you over.

what a pity.

He said he would go if he had a brother or was married with kids.

His problem is not the sex; his problem is the probable lack of biological children in the union.

hotwax:
I didnt ask any question.

I posted my life story for all to learn.

Do i look like i will insert my dck in that STD pot?

Oh!

One down, two virgins to go

Could it be you are not destined to marry a virgin at the end?

budaatum:
Good you brought them out. If we improve on them all girls would be better off.

Oh, and sorry, but I refuse to separate the North until the North stops being part of Nigeria.

You did not understand my post then.

Most of the issues are poverty based. If you really want to solve the problems of the North, then they need to be treated separately.

For optics and whinning/emotional post like the OP's, we can lump them up.

xynerise:
Yes, UK and Senegal. At least from experience

OK.

hotwax:
I met her a virgin and she made it clear from unset that she wanted to keep her virginity till wedding date. I agreed with her, afterall, I intended to marry her.

Meanwhile she is a friend to a man at her office. She even introduced him to me as a friend. When she call me on video while at office, I usually see this man at the background. We call him 'your office father'. January 2020, her workplace where she is undergoing internship organized a 'get-together' party in one hotel at Ikeja. Throughout the event, she did not pick my calls till the next day . It was unusual of her. I just told myself, party don enter body be that. She later off her phone.

Sometime in February, we got playful and we were over the edge to the point that I wanted to penetrate. But I quickly controlled my self. Then she started stoking my dck . I watched her with surprized. She noticed and started pulling me towards her telling me to fck her, i refused to continue and sat. I asked with anger, "so you have been having sex". She started crying that she was sorry she kept it a secret from me. She said she was afraid I was going to kill her if I get to know. She said the man I called her office father raped Blahblah. In the party she took 3 bottles of smirnoff and she sat with the man. Late night, when she was going, the man told her he already book a room that she should not go home late at night. She said she was not thinking straight and it was as if the man used juju. She followed him to his room, while she was sleeping the man raped her multiple times overnight.

It was shocking, I was filled with rage. I asked why she did not raise alarm, why not report to the police? To their HR. She said its going to be shame for her, people r going to mock her. How did she get into a hotel room with a married man. The man's job is also at stake. It took me days to take her back, but I couldnt touch her, because she disgusted me. . She noticed begged me. She tried for us to have sex, but i wont just be in the mood.

Although she is a secretive person. She has been battling various STDs. Virginal discharged, candida e.t.c I do see drugs and creams in her bag.
But now she is battling hepatis B. She was admitted at the hospital and incurred huge medical bill which I was involved. I asked if she treated herself after the rape experience, she said a nurse friend treated her. And I asked if she has been seeing many guys. She said it was the only man she ever had sex with.

1 Sexual encountered spiraled to unending STD and sicknesses. Its painful for me because my dream woman just wasted away like that.
I am not even sure she had sex with only one man.

Ogbeni, what is your question?

Don't thank your stars and jump; keep asking JAMB kwestion.

Wolgrace:
She invented another lie to cover her lie. How will a man raped her with multiple rounds of consensual sex?

How did she consented to the multiple sex from one man without any defensive reaction in a public hospitable house?

Multiple diseases from one man in just one night?

Until you discovered her lies, they were still friends as office father and office daughter after her rape allegation? The girl is a coded pro striker...

Brother, you are unwise. However, abstain and flee from lust!!

Note: "office father," a new word now added to Nairaland dictionary.

Hahahahahahaa

Office father; I prefer office daddy.

And when did a runs girl on BBN become news worthy?

A car for a 10 year old.

Not shares, not land, not scholarship....

A car.

Happy birthday Emmanuella.

Funny guy.

Your name, your face, your job....

Because you want to tell us the 9th wonder of the world:

That some ladies have casual affairs/ sex without strings/ one day stands/ double dating/cheating on their committed partners etc.

Wisdom is profitable to direct.

Clearly you lack wisdom.

Gerrard59:
This is how people lose opportunities. Tomorrow, when his name is Googled, this story will come on the first page. He went to TwitterNG - the den of feminists - to lampoon prostitution?

Good luck to him.

His village people got him.

Is this not indecent exposure and sexual harrassment?

Would the tune be same if it was a male doctor with a female patient?

The earlier everyone realizes that both sexes would lose some and win some, the better for everyone.

Omo lope, carry go.

The Babe contacted Segalink to withdraw the case.

The rape did not happen or she doesn't wish to prosecute D'banj or....?

Signs.

On to the next.

LordKO:
The woman the axiom emphasizes is a wife; men's success often depends on the work and support of their wives. A conscientious wife who has altruistic interest for her conscientious husband, who equally has altruistic interest for her, will always remain her husband's greatest grit motivator and main anchor of the household.

However, not every man automatically needs a wife behind him to be successful, because as our ethical leanings differ, so also our grit motivators differ.

ubunja:
of course.
Alpha Fvcks, Beta Bucks is the same as the Madonna/Hoe Syndrome that men go through.

While Dual Mating strategy concerning women is about sex and survival, for men the Madonna/Hoe Syndrome is about sex and love.

You're right, men want one type of sex from a woman they love and another type of sex from a woman they don't love but who turns them on. That's why we say Fvck Hoes, Marry Virgins.

@Bold:

You want your cake and have it.

The question is 'Who is the demented virgin that would marry a hoe's leftover?'

Don't answer, the average woman doesn't value chastity in a man.

The man who sleeps with a hoe and the hoe is one and same. When the man starts to think himself better, then we begin to have a problem which is compounded by the good girl who doesn't know her worth.

And it is a contradiction for a man to seek a type of sex from his lover and another from a woman who turns him on concurrently. He doesn't love his lover (who might be pinning for the other type of sex), he just wants the illusion of a pristine woman (Madonna/LovePeddler complex).

I however agree that a man who loves a woman would use her with TLC. I touched on that on my tread addressing young ladies who think their good guys are boring.

xynerise:
@Op. You should make Nigeria a case study because when you travel outside Nigeria, women are respected (even more in some countries).

This fight for the girl child is needed only in some cultures where women don't share equal rights with men. For example, in Igbo traditional, women don't share inheritance and some other rights.

But talking about becoming what you want to be, no one is stopping you. Infact, some girls are the ones limiting themselves from achieving greatness. When they stop seeing themselves as weaker vessel, then no one will see them as one

@Bold:

Hmmmmm.

budaatum:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Women_in_Nigeria?wprov=sfla1

I actually went to Wikipedia and brought out the points:
Child marriage: it says 43% of girls in Nigeria are married before their 18th birthday. I honestly have no comment to this. I don't know the Nigeria talked about.

Female genital mutilation: This is been tackled and it is a cultural practice. FGM is fast fazing out.

Girl child labour: This we know is a poverty issue and not 'rights' issue. The boy children of the female househelp is probably helping one uncle in his shop or hawking on the street. No averagely ok parent would send their child to be a help because she is female.

Domestic violence: Wife beating is often looked the other way; true. So is husband abusing which is also a type of abuse. Article also says 'Traditionally, domestic violence is committed against women.' Except if they are talking of 'Physical' abuse.

Abortion: I am at a loss here. Is the article lamenting lack of 'abortion rights?'

Polygamy: I think it is joblessness that would make people fight against polygamy. Except we are talking child marriages. A grown woman e.g. Regina sees a married man e.g. Ned and decides to be wife number 5 and we are crying our heads off? There is only one victim in polygamy (if not initially stated or implied): the first wife. And she has the option of going to the court for a divorce if she cannot stay married to him.

Prostitution: Do they want organized prostitution legalized?

Education: Again, a poverty thing. I have not seen any family who can afford it stop the girl child from going to school. The only issue with education is the Federal quota system in the North designed to keep their girls from entering secondary schools.

For example, a feminist meeting in Ibadan came out against polygamy and then was soundly criticized by market women, who said they supported the practice because it allowed them to pursue their trading activities and have the household looked after at the same time.
The above is what happens when people don't understand the current system and carry out continuous improvement. They jump and shout change like APC.

Instead of regurgitating emotional articles like the OP talking us nowhere, let us understand the current system before seeking to improve or abolish some things.

Also, I like to discuss the North separately. Their issues stem from poverty, selfishness of their leaders and misunderstanding their religion. Looking at the elite Northern women, we see different trends. While Northern girls are battling child marriage and attendant ills such as lack of education, poverty, abuse, VVF etc., their brothers battle the Almanjiri system where they are treated as sub-humans hence a breeding ground for boko haram recruits amongst others.

Chidosman99:
I think generally in Nigeria today, there is no one obvious right denied the girl child today, but the society generally still have this glass ceiling that the girl child is yet to break through, especially in the corporate world.

The society has a glass ceiling girl children are yet to break through in the corporate world

In this Nigeria?

Is there any one stopping any girl/woman from what she wants to be in the society today?