₦airaland Forum

Mimiliciously:
I don't nag, I don't stress him, I let him be. But he just won't let me be with this social media thing. And if I give in, will I keep giving in to his every whim.

truthsayer009:
This is actually your main problem, you need other Men who will talk sense into his brain. Someone he respects & listens to.

Marriage is a partnership, this is the reason Women must bring financial contribution to a marriage & avoid this type of I own you talks or na me marry you put for house etc.

ImaIma1:
From what she said, the trust issues seem to be from the man's side; asking her to get a new sim, asking for her passwords. It's except she did something in the past that made him so distrustful or he is just the insecure type.

JONNYSPUTE:
....I love what you said here.

You captured their problems very well.

Husband is traditional and wife is modern.

It can't work.May God help them

Unnerve:
Lol, someone said that westerners called it child abuse
Nigerians always want to appear more western than the westerners themselves, more religious than the pope, etc, everything is always more, lol. Wannabes

Go on YouTube and see videos of white kids crying in reaction to something done/said to them, or just crying to avoid doing things a parent wanted them to do. There are even television shows (e.g Things Children Do) dedicated to getting a good laugh from the antics of kids, some of the clips they show mirror this same situation with kids crying to avoid things they don't like or want.

Y'all should just get a grip on yourselves, there was no torture, nothing in the video suggests abuse. The mother was desperately trying to hold back her own laughter throughout the whole thing, meaning she was only recording it because she found her son funny in the first place. Perhaps, her decision to share the video is what could be debated, but this still would be judged strictly on personal opinion. Some people don't like sharing their lives on SM, others do.
The same western wannabes decrying her decision to share the video with the world are usually the exact same people that will say stuff like 'live and let live' or 'everyone has a right to choices', the very next second.

And fück no, that child is not going to be emotionally or pyschologically scarred because of what went on in the video, anyone saying that is simply projecting their own emotional scarring from life experiences.
Children don't think like adults, they are completely innocent and free from those things that make adults want to question or distrust situations. An adult who tries to analyze children through their own adult coloured adult lenses will always fail woefully.

That boy was probably playing and running around the house/neighborhood with his friends not more than 30mins after that stuff happened, that's kids for you. They will get scolded, they will cry, and act like they want to die from the tears, but the next second they're back to themselves jumping and being a nuisance with no thought or recollection of what transpired earlier. This is something that an adult is incapable of because we have lost that childlike innocence and tend to dwell on the whys and hows, depressing ourselves in the process.


You all need to just

Mimiliciously:
He refuses to give me his and when I ask, he says it's because he's the one marrying me and not other way around. That he has the rights to my social media but I don't have the right to his.
This is really stressing me out. When people are having real issues in their unions, mine is social media. In the past this same issue have snowballed into something ugly. We were even on the verge of breakup. He says I disrespect him because I don't post his pictures. At some point, I had to block him and lied that I've deleted the account so I can have peace. But he later figured out I blocked him and continued stressing me about it.

Mimiliciously:
He tried to get me to change the sim I had been using for years immediately after we got married. I refused. The phone got lost one day and he told me to get a fresh sim and not retrieve the old number. . I did, so that peace can reign. Since then he's been on my social media. Stressing me about it.

Mimiliciously:
I have no idea. I think it's a control thing.

This social media thing have been a recurring issue in our 3 years of marriage. He can't just let it rest.

XX01:
I didn't particularly like the video. I won't share such on social media. But really that's not abuse. I find that kids that are not used to being spanked are the ones that would like to talk their way out of a spanking. If a serious beating is what you encounter regularly, you would rather be steeling your body to reduce the pain. I know it's not in all cases but this just doesn't seem like one.

Also, kids can act once they know that they have been naughty and are going to be punished. They can put up the most riotous display if it will spare them a whopping.

Mimiliciously:
I'm seeing a lot of judgment but not seeing advices. Advice is all I need now.

Lamba42:
Had a chat earlier this week with some of my older colleagues (very late 30's to Mid 40's) about 6 of us all together ,mind you they're all doing very well for themselves and rather successful.The topic came up concerning how everyone's relationship/flings were going and apparently the summary was..Money doesn't make a woman loyal to you ,in fact most(including me)were of the opinion that a woman's loyalty is by the grace of God. Each of them narrated stories about women they had spent huge funds, taken them on vacations(Commot naija o), gotten jobs for ,invested in businesses for them only to find out they were soliciting attention from other men via dm's and texts, and some even went as far sleeping with those other men, for reasons best known to them.Not all women are cheaters but it seems a lot of them just naturally enjoy being the Centre of attention for Multiple men.
Please share your own Experiences .

decatalyst:
This happens more when you do not define the relationship from the onset.

So many (male & female) commercial sex worker out there!

You are dating 4 guys and you are mocking a prostitute my sister it's the same company. It is just that you are in the private sector and she is in the public sector.

MrBrownJay1:
bro, the mere fact that she called you a "simp" should be the moment you walk away from this deluded woman.... trying to still A) be in contact with this animal or B) trying to make sense to this useless/disrespectful woman, MAKES YOU A SIMP!

whats the point of seducing or bedding such deluded good for nothing woman? your ego is in the way of your common sense bro!

Okuda:
lol at 27 my mama no let woman come see me for house oooo

Akhirastriver:
God ,some people need to borrow sense from u ,somebody give this guy a beer .Fantabulous

Eberex:
Guy, it is not a joking matter at all at all.

Let me try and explain. You know when you are maybe in a club or party and you see pretty girls in seducing wears, your dick responds immediately and if one doesn't take time, you might start feeling Hot there. Now if these ladies are to go completely naked, your dick would definitely get more excited. Shey, you get?

But when i am at home, my wife walks naked around the house, yet junior doesn't respond. Explain that! I asked her to do me a favour just a few days ago, that she should reduce the "walking naked" thing in the house. That the mind is very crazy at times, and that seeing something every now and then tends to diminish its interest. I tried to paint it in a picture that she also would understand. Luckily for me, she did.

Personally, i have a complex mind. Things tend to get into it and its hard to get it back to default. I love sex a lot, but suddenly its no longer like that, even when you know you can have it with your wife.

But i have resolved to deal with it and find a solution, starting with my mindset. All i would see, eat and touch would be my wife. All my thoughts would go to her, be it a naked lady, i would put her face on hers. I need to start finding her super attractive even without being naked. I need to touch, cuddle, caress her more. The moment a man takes his eyes off his wife, things starts to fall.

Love is not the same thing as sexual attraction, that is what i have found out. You can love your wife but you dont feel sexually attracted to them, and this should not be the case. IT IS ALL IN THE MIND. MINDSET IS A BITCH. Anyone who has a control of his MIND,can do ANYTHING.

Olude193:
Is Gabriel Afolayan divorced?

Kriss216:
Second moral of the story;

Always video your sex sessions..

Unnerve:
As am I.
Human behaviour and the ability to make/watch people unravel.

Gerrard59:
Assuming those tales are true, what will make a man not to cheat? Please don't mention religion 'cos these folks appeared to be very religious and no be say their wives ugly or no sabi something. I am bewildered.

GoldenJAT:
How are you?

t00dugged:
abi na , marry you best friend ,now best friend don dey ask her for relationship she dey do any how.

seguno2:
All these entertaining gists can make someone faint, even if he did not join Akpabio and MD Professor of NDDC to swallow billions.