₦airaland Forum

Squirrel01:
Something happened at my place of work on Monday, I have been working at this organization for the past four months, after I finished my nysc, I met a friend who linked me up with a teaching job here in Abuja even though I studied building Technology as a course , so I went for the interview and I was invited to start work,
I signed the contract papers they gave me .when I started teaching there I was having only two scholars, (pupils) and I was handling basic four, where as the person that linked me up was teaching basic five subsidiary of basic six, and he was having six scholars, after the compulsory common entrance examination for those in basic six, majority of the scholars in basic five if not all left and stopped coming to school.
Now he was left with one scholar, why I was handling two. Just yesterday the proprietress of the school called both of us to discuss the state of the basic section with regards to the low turnout of scholars, then it hit my brain box when she says, one teacher have to leave or she will slash our (the two teachers with low scholars)salary 30% off her reasons been that she can't afford to pay our salary anymore, in the real sense ,the teacher with less or no scholars ought to leave,
I told the owner of the school that I'll leave, she was shocked beyond words! I told her that I was introduced to this school by my friend and I can't afford to watch him leave, and slashing of salary is not an option. since he has no scholar in his class!
my salary was paid within few minutes.
I tendered my resignation letter, and left the organization.
I would appreciate any openings or vacancies either in a construction company or education sector. Thanks.

How noble of you.

Favour would locate you.

What a horrible sight.

The school authorities should come to their aid asap.

It is very unhygienic and uncondusive for learning and habitation

Fountainofyouth:
Lol I will, thanks babe.

*Hugs* to a fantastic love life.

So the wife's concern is that the sidechic used my husband instead of my boo?

She is not concerned about the fact that he has a side chic in the first place?

Some people don't have focus sha.

crackhaus:
Lol, just let him know you're married and maybe you both will come to an understanding.

Is he is he?

I was under the impression she was a she

He/She has no sex indicated sha.

crackhaus:
Not necessarily poor per se, it's more of a mind thing.

Once one has a poverty mentality, it will still reveal itself even if they drive a GLK.

It is the mentality.

A truly poor lady can still have dignity and say no.

TheNaijanBlog:
WTH is manosphere? You sound ignorant. If it makes you feel good to deny the experience of most women because you want to be on some faux intellectual soapbox, have at it. At the end of the you are just a fraud who gets off from being the token woman. I have wasted more time on you than I should, thank God majority of women don’t think like you that’s why you are a minority. I don’t respect women that deny the experience of other women just because they want to maintain a twisted rhetoric.

I really don’t care what you do in your life, however I am not going to allow you pass of your twisted logic/opinion as facts on the internet. What you are not going to do is minimize or sanitize real experiences that most Nigeria women go through.

I need to add token woman to it.

Enjoy yourself.

TheNaijanBlog:
Yea I went back to read some of your old posts and you always have some reason to blame women. I am referring to the thread, if ALL the women on this thread say they find it easier to give men their phones, even if you have never experienced it, shouldn’t you take a pause and wonder why the women on this thread feel that way? Instead of making blanket generalizations that “women deep down want to give out their phone numbers”

And you just proven me right by seeking more validation, what would @crackhaus do to me? why don’t you defend your views?

You called me male and loved by all in NL and I said he should come and laugh

What views am I to defend biko? And how many women are on this thread compared to the amount of women on the street?

And if you really read a number of my posts, you would notice that while I create a lot of threads of women, my posts address the guilty party.

TheNaijanBlog:
T[b]he irony is you are actually the one without a backbone, since all your views/opinions has to pass the male test.[/b] All those “spineless girls” have designed a system that works for them and protects them from potential unwanted harassment. You are lucky you did not have to go through that, good for you! but to deny the experience of most girls in Nigeria and to also shame them is just tragic.

You sound like someone who has read a bit of manosphere without understanding a bit of it.

male test
male filter
male identified woman

Keep bringing it on.

How does giving random men your number and deleting theirs afterwards make any sense to you?

I am sure those girls can not even tell their parents that is the foolish thing they have been doing.

I think ladies should sit more with their parents especially fathers to learn more about life and relationships.

Fountainofyouth:
2. He has shown in ways more than one he is committed to the relationship, if it is an obsession, should I just get on with it to know if this strong feeling would disappear? Cos I really need my peace of mind.....

3. Lol yeah I think i should tell him he is killing me softly, my heart beats very fast anytime I see his chats and calls, sometimes I force myself to calm down and it really doesn't work.....

2. No don't. Please look for other things to occupy your time and see how you fare.

3. Tell him and let's hear. You don't know if he is in the hospital because he hasn't heard from you

TheNaijanBlog:
All your thought process goes though a male filter.

Clues: if you are loved on NL. Another clue, you are the odd man on this thread. All the female on this thread commented on their experience on the persistence of Nigerian men, only YOU has a different experience which you are trying to pass off as a fact even though you are the outlier.

So there is a male filter?

I am loved on NL? Odd man on this thread? So all women must experience same thing to be validated as women?

If a woman does not want to give her number, she will not give it out.

@crackhaus, come and laugh small.

Gratefulheart01:
Let the good girls talk, not a violated, abused, over uselessed pssy like you.

A dog with an uncouth mouth.

Double tragedy.

TheNaijanBlog:
As I said you are male identified.

Because I am not supporting spineless girls who can't no and stick by it?

If you like, say I am female identified male, that is your cup of tea.

crackhaus:
Babe, trust me. Na poverty mentality go make woman to keep wasting a man's money when she's not interested in him.

I know what I'm saying. Women with a certain financial class even get irritated if you try too hard by using cash or gifts to win them over.

Well, I get you.

The ones still collecting aren't poor sha.

TheNaijanBlog:
Sorry your opinion doesn’t leave room for a critical discussion. Nobody has a right to another person’s body, simple.

In the marriage vow you quoted you seem to miss the most important, which is the “I” in the vows. I never said sex wasn’t important, so yes if a marriage is not consummated it can be annulled, if one party wants out, the one that did not agree to have sex still gets to keep the rights to her/his body. That’s different from saying another human being has a right to your body or that someone deserves to be raped because she doesn’t want sex. Rape should NEVER be justified. Period!! No gray areas. Jesus!!

Ha!

doitforyou:
Well that's your opinion, it's NOT a fact. If you want to live a life of not having autonomous right to your OWN body that's your cup of tea. Thank God society does NOT agree with you. As society is becoming more progressive more countries are starting to recognize the need for autonomous rights and are making laws to protect those rights. Your breed is dying as we move away from the stone ages. Thank God!

My breed is dying?

Hahahahaha

Sometimes progressiveness of a society isn't positive.

And are you willing to share those rights? Rights to what exactly?

essenceplus:
All my old accounts have been banned

Middlexxxx

Cornerxxx

Planet3xx

Your village people mean business o!

TheNaijanBlog:
You are male identified woman.

Male identified woman?

Meaning?

TheNaijanBlog:
Do you live in Nigeria? Have you ever met a Nigerian man? The word “no” doesn’t exist for a Nigerian man. It’s easier to give out your number and ignore his calls than to try and explain for over an hour why you don’t want to give him your number. I have also seen some cases where the guy can even become aggressive with the mentality of “how dare you say no to me” so trust me if you have all the ladies on this thread saying same thing then...

The safest and best option for a Nigerian girl is to give number and block in the safety of her house.

I have met a number of Nigerian men and I did not give them my number.

No body except a psychotic stalker can force you to give him your number except deep down you want to for whatever reason. If a guy thinks he is entitled to a girl's number, chances are that the girl has given him the green light knowingly or unknowingly.

Afterall, same guys later become friendzoned for recharge cards and any other thing the girls can dream up.

Let me ask, of what use is deleting the guy's number when he has yours and can reach you whenever he wants to?

TheNaijanBlog:
Really? I don’t think you are a Nigerian woman, because a Nigerian woman won’t say “Next time, stand your ground”

EDIT: I have read your other posts and I see you are a male identified woman. Sad.

What would the Nigerian woman say?

doitforyou:
Yea, you did "One thing I find consistent in most cases, is one party hordes it weaponizes it which then creates the atmosphere for forceful getting." Sorry marriage is NOT consent. No human being has the right to another human beings body. I actually pity your wife or your future wife if you are not married.There is NO scenario where rape is justified, whether someone hoards sex or not. Sex with your wife is NOT a right but a privilege. How do you even enjoy the sex when one party is not interested? that is sick and twisted.

Sex in marriage is NOT a privilege; it is a right.

Toxay:
I think you seem a little confused about your ideas in this reply.
You stated how a woman should seek redress if violence is involved but almost all cases of rape(marital or none)would involve some sort of physical dominance and subjugation except the woman is drunk or paraplegic.
Now to address this issue
Your whole argument is based on the premise that sex become a duty courtesy of marriage.This is quite reasonable but what you fail to prove is why it is justified for the husband to force(often with some sort of violence) the wife to perform such duties.
Fundamental rights such as right of choice is always paramount irrespective of whatever responsibilities you have and that is why a student can't be bundled up and forced to write his exams even if he/she has such duty.This is akin to the fact that a man can't be forced to take a bullet for his wife or give her his organs because he is supposed to be the protector or provider.
The whole essence of human rights is the choice to make personal decisions as one see fit as long as it is not detrimental to another's person fundamental rights.

I love the bolded:

If a spouse no longer wants sex in a marriage, then they should seek for divorce. It is quite simple.

What happens is that the spouse wants to eat his/her cake and have it.

If there is physical subjugation or injury, seek redress.

It's not so hard.

TheNaijanBlog:
That’s why it was deleted. In NO scenario does a human being have the right to another human being’s body. The definition of rape NEVER changes, “sex without consent”
I am glad it was deleted.

You have a blog, you should be more open to critical thinking and discussions.

In marriage, the husband has right to his wife's body and the wife has a right to her husband's body.

The below is the Christian wedding vows:

Groom: I,____, take thee,_____, to be my wedded Wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I plight thee my troth.

Bride: I,_____, take thee,_____, to be my wedded Husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, cherish, and to obey, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I give thee my troth.

Then, as the groom places the ring on the bride's finger, he says the following:

With this Ring I thee wed, with my body I thee worship, and with all my worldly goods I thee endow: In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.

Do you know that a marriage can be annulled if it is not consummated i.e. one party can't or won't have sex?

Can a marriage be annulled if not consummated?
You can apply for a decree on the following grounds: The marriage has not been consummated because one party can't, or won't. Consummation means normal sexual intercourse. If either party to the marriage did not consent to the marriage, because of pressure placed upon them, mistake, mental illness or any other reason.
Can your marriage be annulled? | Blanchards Law

www.blanchardslaw.co.uk/blog/can-your-marriage-be-annulled/

truthsayer009:
I'm actually happy that your thread was deleted. Your title is misleading & you know Africans don't read. Coupled with the fact that you also used Religious views to express your points.

Then I was also supporting some of your points which I felt was valid & people starting looking a me with one sided eye like I was/am a Rapist.

Abeg oh, Thank God for vindicating me

Praaaaise da Lord

Hahahahahaha

You have a babe you are toasting on NL?

I also quoted the Nigerian constitution

So you are one of the people doing me?

Please live up to your username, it sometimes wouldn't be easy.

essenceplus:
People don't listen objectivity and are quick to pick a stone than listen. Been listening to the marital rape saga since the term was coined and have been following this debate for as long as possible. One thing I find consistent in most cases, is one party hordes it weaponizes it which then creates the atmosphere for forceful getting. To all those pro women 100% queen treatment stand against pro family life values which is both parties are important in the union. This makes me state with boldness that over 90% of marital rape cases the ladies horded intimacy but before marriage they could be sexually free as possible. I think somewhere along the line their passions eroded with their libido in the process of their experimentation leaving their partners to bear the consequence of their actions in marriages. This is besides hoarding sex so I don't see how I'll purely support anyone that is quick to condemn a man in a marriage if he wants sex because marriage itself is consent, and there shouldn't be secondary consent as marital laws places responsibility on both parties to perform their roles as expected in a marriage

Sex has truly been weaponized in marriage.

Abbeylincson:
we are Corp members
I do many things except the touching aspect.

How has the experience been so far?

ayobarmy:
Thanks, but this your list eeeehnnnn

My list ke?

I am not the OP and she got it from a source.

Fountainofyouth:
I decided to bring this to family section because I need matured advice.

1. In all my life I've only had three relationships because I always weigh the pros and cons before I commit to anything, my past relationships always start with sex, infact I'm always persuaded for a long time before I finally agree and there is never any attraction at first for me, then when sex sets in, the feelings grow and whatnot.

2. Then I met this wonderful man, we got talking and chating and both clicked at the same time, he is everything I ever wanted in every aspect you can think of but there a problem, the sexual attraction and love between us is really strong and it's affecting my health, we are both working and we talk and chat for hours every night, we cant do without keeping in touch everyday (we don't stay in same state but we've seen several times) we've not had sex cos there comes a time in ones life that sex won't be a priority or a defining factor in a relationship but I'm always scared, when we fight it always seem as if we would never talk again, my heart beats fast when he misses my calls, I think of him every night before I sleep, a little thought of him makes me wet, when there is a misunderstanding I don't sleep at all, I've tried my best to shut my heart from my head but it's not working, sometimes I pray to God to take this strong feeling I have for him away cos it's just too much, I have never felt like this for anyone in my life before, this is someone that sex isnt involved at all so why this feeling, he says he feels that strong way too but I cant really describe his,

3. Last week Friday I had to check my BP and it was very high so I told myself this had to stop cos it's not normal, love shouldn't affect ones health this much, so I stopped talking to him, he called and asked what's wrong I said nothing that I just need a break but he wasn't happy with it, he asked and begged that I shouldn't leave him which I said I won't but I didn't tell him he is affecting my health. Since then we haven't talked to each other and it has not been easy for me especially this holiday, sometimes I lay on my bed and cry and groan cos I long to hear from him but I want him out of my head, I need my complete health restored.

4. Please is this the real deal? Is this love? How do I go about being in control of my emotions without affecting my health? Feel free to ask questions and I'll answer as discreetly as possible, thank you.

1. Ok

2. This is either the real deal or obsession because you have not had sex yet. If it is the latter, the moment you have sex, the feelings will disappear. He says he feels the same way, what about his actions?

3. Hahaha at ending the relationship because of your health. Is your healh better now? If no, then maybe you should reconsider your stance on the relationship. That said, you need to check what is triggering the high BP. Is it hereditary? Perhaps you want to tell him that he is literally 'killing you softly.'

keepingmum:
https://www.familylife.com/articles/topics/marriage/staying-married/husbands/40-things-husbands-should-stop-doing/

Very very educative post.

ayobarmy:
Excuse me ma! Can you please elaborate on the number 6? Thanks

The husband should be the priest of his home. The practice of wives leading the prayer altar, more spiritually conscious etc. is not right.

Theyoungmatron:
A man that can't provide for his family
He expects his wife to provide for the family but will call himself a man
The family section is getting dysfunctional by the day.
The woman is expected to provide money for food, buy the food for the family, cook the meal and wait for the adulterated prick to come home and eat I raise yansh for una.

Did you read where the man provides every other thing?

Good for them.