₦airaland Forum

crackhaus:
Oh Buka, Lol.
Isn't it common sense that it is? (no insult intended)

Or is your unnecessary doubt being fed by the fact a Queen (woman) sits on the throne?
Well, this does nothing to negate the patriarchy seeing as she did not fall from the sky to become queen.

If she had had a brother when her father died, there would have been no Queen Elizabeth II today for you to use as a yardstick to argue against patriarchy.

You are assuming that I have an issue against 'patriachy' or think that the English Royalty is a 'win' for feminism or whatever.

I have seen enough of life to know that most humans have cupboard lives and pick/drop whatever part of a cause/movement that suits them at the time and very few people are fanatic to any cause.

I am just stating facts.

For all you know, the Queen might even be a staunch anti-feminist and believe men & women are not equal.

Someone on this thread even said Meghan marrying the Prince is a feminist move..... Well let's just say a divorcee was lucky enough to catch the eye of a Prince who doesn't give a damn about protocol.

The fact that a woman can rule over them all within her constitutional rights shows it is not a patriachy.

If Elizabeth had no brother, her father did not have brothers who had males? No male royalty in line to the throne who could seat on the throne? Is this Elizabeth the first queen England has produced?

Can you imagine a Yoruba throne with a queen in power because she doesn't have brothers? The only time a woman can rule as a regent is when there is a dispute between ruling houses and during that period, she dresses like a man (trousers, cap) etc. and as soon as they sort out their issues, she steps down and the king takes over. I also gathered she cannot live with her husband in the palace and cannot be pregnant (cannot function as a woman) during the period.

The regent is even addressed as sir, called kabiyesi and I think addressed as 'His Royal Majesty' 'His Highness' etc.

Now that is patriachy.

I don't know of other tribes as per conflict handling and if they have regents however I have never head of a Queen as per position and not wife of a king in Nigeria.

Queen Elizabeth is a woman ruling as a woman, functioning as one.

bellong:


Attack is the best defender..

Happy Happy new year.

How is you and yours?

I believe you are shining as ever....

Hahahahahahahahahhahahahahahaha.

We are shinning o.

Thanks, Happy Sunday.

bellong:


Welcome back... I find you tire before you ran away.

Bros, happy new year.

E ku ojo three

safarigirl:
I'm talking of when the other window has been occupied by another male entity

You go stop car finish, instead make the guy wey dey inside shift, he will come out so that you will enter the middle. Why can't he shift?

Ok, I get you now.

I don't think it is a male thing. Most people like to seat at the door/window because of air.

Don't be surprised that the same person who came out for you will hold his seat tight if he were to be at the window side.

safarigirl:
The opening of the doors is fine, my own is that why do men think they have exclusive right to the edge of the seat?

When you want to enter a car, they would want to seat by the window and push you inside

This is a new one.

Is it in a public bus?

Rapoo:
I think the only time I can hold the door for my wife is when she's pregnant. I keep saying this that public display of affection is not being romantic or caring.

I support her on this one. even those criticizing her have not been since doing those things for wives/girlfriends.

Interesting innit?

I think she worries her head about too many unnecessary things sha.

I am wondering how strong a 62yr old man is to constantly want 'rough' sex.

The wife should further explain the 'maltreatment'....

Does it mean that Baba doesn't treat her well to satisfaction?

For the husband to insist on no polygamy and adultery means he is very devout and knows the wife can handle it.

For children to call family meeting means that he didn't use to maltreat her prior to now.

She should look inwards to the ability in her.

I am sorry OP, your question sounds like 'will rain fall tomorrow'? Which is funny.

Que Sera sera, whatever will be, will be.

OfficialDad:
You don't understand her at all. I had to go back and read all your comments, believe me, you're misinterpreting the topic and the message.

Misscokie is good at one thing, calling out immediate ills and dysfunction in the society, and she actually did what she's good at.

On the contrary, you disagreed with her view, and bashed her simultaneously.

Every disagreement = bashing?

I hear you.

shugamummy:
Deep in ur soul you know the message your fellow babe is passing but have occluded your mind cos of the point she mentioned that lazy brats nowadays want to be classified as feminists. To get ur mind cleared, men are different from women and will continue to desist from doing the women work in the family while the woman will continue to do the woman work. Swallow this bitter peal and align ur thoughts appropriately

Thanks for your bitter peal/pill; you can give it to females around you to swallow.

Out world view is different. What seems strange to you is another person's normal as far as they are crossing any moral code.

If in your world, all women are housewives, in others, the wives work.

Just marry someone your level.

crackhaus:
Bukatyne my love, the English monarchy is still patriarchal. I think what you mean to say is that the line of succession is not restrictedly 'patrillineal'. There is a ton of difference between those two words.

How is their royal system patriachial?

Elder001:
The Person behind the Misscoke or whatever is confused and dumb.

She/he isn't up to 26years.

Trust me, you still have a long way to go in life.

with this your disgusting mindset, if you're truly a female, your husband will treat you like a slave..

Still want to do all cooking 100% alone? want to take care of kids 100% alone? want to do house chores 100% alone?


Don't make the mistake your mother made in her youth.

I think this is a wrong thing to say especially the last paragraph.

Different things work for different people.

majekdom2:
there is no equlity anywhere rather we are complement to each other. If you want equality then you should have a dick somewhere in your body and a man should have a breast! If there was something like equality Africa won’t be where it is. Can you solve the equation y=x. No. It’s either y= mx+c or a+b^2+c=0 or some simulataneous equation. This is to tell you we are complements to be equal! Take this mindset off. Seek for love respect and openness not equality.

Sighs.

I hear you.

Truckpusher:
Yes ! You're right . But it is a greater disservice to humanity when bad women hide under the cloak of feminism to vent out their frustration against the male gender. You lots have a lot of schooling to do , especially for your too many angry women that are masking themselves as feminists while insulting , dehumanizing , humiliating and provoking the male gender.

And bad women don't hide under anti-feminism, Christianity, Islam, white, black, green, yellow to perpetuate whatever evil they have in mind?

Is it today that men and women use ideologies and causes for their own selfish interest?

All I ask is that the OP doesn't tell me that men and women are unequal because they can't do certain things they have obviously done for ages.

I have opened threads to speak against ills esp. women yet I have never lumped them up. I have also spoken against some men doing certain things and never generalized.

That is my grouse with her thread.

Chiamanda for instance will be seen as a 'modern feminist' and even though I think she is sometimes crazy, I won't take away her intelligence and accomplishments.

Even if you don't agree with a position, seeking to understand it (not necessarily to agree) or even having an idea of it is a good thing.

For instance, I do not support Islamic Polygamy however, I think I have learnt about it enough to see from their view.

MissCokie:
I'm glad you said, in your village. What's the topic header?. Please ma , understand my topic first.

I very well understand your topic and addressed it in my first post on this thread.

If you a problem with 'slay queens' et al, come out straight and say so.

Don't tell me that women and men can't be equal because they can't solve problems or earn or endure emotional trauma.

It is a disservice to the millions of women/girls doing such day in day out.

It is an insult to them.

ubunja:
i agree. but again i ask : "can i stay at home and housekeep?" and you work?

If you will not whine about how you are the 'head' when your wife expects a clean home and fresh meal when she is back from work, why not?

ubunja:
you hate something you dont even know? hilariois

You see why having a discussion sometimes here is difficult?

Have I mentioned hating anything? I only said the English royal system is currently not patriarchial; it is a monarchy.

The successor to the throne is dependent on lineage and not sex.

If Queen Elizabeth dies, the successor is traced through her lineage so how it is patriachy?

In patriarchy, men control the resources, moral codes and power so which male is controlling Britain now they have a queen?

If it gets to a male and he becomes king, then the next successor is through his lineage so their system is obviously not matriarchal either.

For example, Nigerian traditional rulership/royal system is patriarchial because the successor is solely from the king and only makes can rule.

ubunja:
go work 9-5 and i will nurse the kids and cook. i dont mind. can we swap?

Except you live in an alternate universe, women work 9 - 5, nurse the kids and cook for them.

Infact, this is where all these discussions stem from. If a husband works and the wife stays at home to care for the home, what discussion are we having again? The duties have been divided somewhat equally and everyone has a clear cut role. It is when I have my role and I have to do yours without you understanding that you sometimes have to do mine/outsource mine/manage what I can do that discussions of 'equality' in the home starts coming up.

Interestingly, a number of women who have stayed at home and worked actually prefer working. Your work ends when you get home.... taking care of the home never ends.

[quote author=ubunja post=68269763][/quote]What is patriarchy?

ubunja:
why is labour always divided such that a man always ends up doing the dirtiest, heaviest, most dangerous work?

i seen women work in construction on roads. the men toil while the woman is directing traffic!!! thats the kind of labor division women want. we are equal but you do the heavy work. tsek.

What is the heaviest, dirtiest work?

How often does this work occur.

In an average home, who does the daily grind and the said dirty work is usually contracted out.

If a man decides to be a garbage collector, how does that concern me or negate my choices?

Don't I see my fellow woman doing alabru in CMS? Or sweeping the roads or
Mixing cement?

Please don't mix choices made out of poverty/unskillfulness to choices imposed on someone. The former has nothing to do with equality/feminism.

babeosisi:
I am grateful for the women that fought for rights of women to be treated equally
I salute them all

As in.....

Even if I would never go out on the street to campaign for 'women rights', I truly salute them.

ubunja:
The royal system is part of the patriarchy.

How can the royal system be patriarchy when the current head is a woman?

Their system is monarchy hence, the right to rule is determined by birth/lineage and not sex.

MissCokie:
A feminist should be ever ready to face responsibilities just like the male child. If she deserves equal rights with him, then he deserve equal power to disagree with her anytime, any day , any where.

A feminist should be ready to split fire wood, fix generator, push wheel barrow to feed.

@bold:

Have you ever heard of division on labour?

Besides, some of these things are split along cultural lines.

In my village, women split firewood, pound yam etc. In some cultures, the men do these chores.

I think you should be clear on the issues you really want to address.

MissCokie:
Exactly. You call and fight for equal rights, yet when you're faced with heavy task like the male counterparts would, your call for feminism would deminish?. Why?.

If you want to be a feminist, be ready to work like the male counterparts, think, solve issues and go through emotional trauma like them.

Women don't work (earn), think, solve issues and go through emotional trauma?

You are doing the same thing you claim feminists/ modern day feminists are doing.... undermining the women to prove a point for the men.

If you claim that you are not a feminist due to XYZ reasons, you have the freedom of association and do not even need to explain your choices.

But to tarnish women in a bid to justify your stance, no way.

I don't know where you reside or the kind of women you see however, I see women who break their backs working hard, taking of their homes with sensitive /insensitive husbands, solve issues inside/outside the home daily with/without associating with feminism anc everywhere stories are littered with women facing all sorts of emotional trauma (lawful and unlawful).

I am not undermining the men either and they surely have their strengths.

made4naija:
A Nigerian man has taken to his twitter account to share his thoughts on a ‘much talked about topic’..

The man, with the handle @jajaphd tweeted some reasons why girls were so dependent on their boyfriends for finances.

He tweeted:

There’s chronic poverty in the land and many families (subtly) encourage their daughters to get into relationships so that the financial responsibilities for her (and maybe the family) can be shifted to her partner.

That’s one of the reasons why some girls are so demanding.

Then there’s also greed.

Some girls are demanding simply because they are not satisfied with what they earn, own or are given by their family.

There’s also entitlement.

Some women are socialised to believe that they deserve to be taken care of by their (male) partners just because they are women. Some go farther to believe that they are entitled to stuff because they have sex with their man.

In addition, some men woo ladies by ostentatious display of wealth.

When you buy your way into the heart of a woman, you have to be ready to keep paying rent.

source : https://www.made4naija.com/2018/06/nigerian-man-give-reason-why-some-girls-are-so-demanding/

What is the definition of demanding?