₦airaland Forum

ZirdoRoray:
Just three times a week.. Your sex life is already not exciting and she is not even scared you will get it elsewhere. Mr. Man it seems you're the naturally slow type (no problem with this) but you need to spice things up. You need to continuously show her your adventurous and energetic self by exercising and bringing lots of friends around both male and especially females (pls don't take advantage of this) and she'll start been enthusiastic to keep up with you. If she complains about this new development, just keep your cool, assure her BUT don't give in to her low libido. The way to get a woman to please you is to start showing alot of stamina. I guess you don't have much. If her work or body type keeps her tired, then you need help her keep up with your new pace intelligently. Show her you can get IT! Females are naturally pleasant, caring and nurturing- they are wired that way. Care for her in other ways but she has to see you lead are on with wisdom without giving in to her. Women can't stand it when they are continually been tease by someone they respect, they always give in. More importantly you have be able to satisty her everytime. About 90% of women don't have genuine orgasm like we men do. They may moan and even scream but they are faking it. Believe me, when your woman start having real orgasm, you will know without any doubt and you don't have to ask if she did because it will be so obvious. Get this book, "How to satisfy a woman everytime and have her asking for more" by Laura Hayden.
All of a woman's part are very soft, so banging her hard like popular opinion and porn says is not the right way to please her, even if she thinks so from popular opinion. When you know how to really give it to her, she will be asking for it everyday. Remember the natural fact that women are more emotional and sexual than men. STEP UP YOUR GAME!

Interesting in a good way.

RiyadhGoddess:
Op I saw now that some mofos are already insinuating that your wife is already cheating on you that's the reason for her sudden withdrawal from sex. Op please disregard these silly advice. Remember that most of this people giving you advice on nairaland don't even have a home in the first place. Many are not married or they are married but are not happy. Don't let a won da bi mo se da (enemies of joy or good things) put words into your head o. Like I said, sex 3 times a week is much. Once a week is cool and the rest can be pre-intimacy. Find out from her what the problem is please. God will not destroy your home o insha Allah

Well the lady wants to destroy it herself.

I have read many 'he is not good', 'he is fat', 'she is old', 'three times a week is too much', 'ten years is too long' bla bla.

Except she is dumb, she can tell her lover of 10 years plus what the issues are.

She has gold with her and once the man gets used to overcoming his urge for her, the wife is finished.

She has what many women pray for and she is toying with it.

@Age: let's even assume that she married at 35, she is just 45yrs with about 25yrs of 'active service' to go.

It is.

My second nephew at 2weeks old paid attention to soccer like an adult.

Whenever he was crying, a football match would make him fine.

I have always seperated between random & pedophile rape cases and 'I visited him and he raped me' stuff.

I will still ask till tomorrow; 'why did you visit him'?

Again, people never cease to amaze me..... you left all the girls you can see and easily get feedback on around you to the one on twitter at Berger.

Do you know if she is a ghost? HIV patient?Thief? Ritualist? Prostitute? Kidnapper?

Ditto the girl. I am 100% sure she did not tell her parents where she was going to. And if she wasn't foolish, she had rape trauma because she had been raped before and still carried her bags from one end of Lagos to another to meet a guy she jammed on Twitter.

These people get liver sha.

And Social Media has made people crazy that things they should discuss over the phone, they bring out on SM and disgrace themselves especially on what isn't even true.

This girl has successfully told us that:

1. She is immoral
2. She is slimy and craftive.

Despite the society giving men passes to more foolishness, most of th wisely know that not all dirty linen should be washed outside.

Some ladies could learn from that.

JonSnow:
Disband this stupid team. Assemble a team based off mostly local players and few foreign based players, at least the team would have cohesion.

The current team is filled with average bastards who wouldn't even start for their respective club sides.

And lastly, fire that German fraudster Rohr.


-----


South Korea that just defeated Germany, do they have two heads?

So we should pick a South Korean coach?

Just kidding .

crackhaus:
Nigerian-styled parenting AKA we'll figure it out and learn on the job once the babies start coming... this is the problem you're facing now.

Before you both decided to start having kids, did you actually sit down to talk about and reach an agreement on the style of parenting you both would like to adopt, or was that just too much to bother about?

Talk to your wife man.

This is not even about different parenting styles.....

It is more about the wife's neglect.

2buffagain:
You are the one who has issues with comprehension and logic.
And who tells you that if a guy and girl are in a relationship that will not end in marriage, it must be somoene "deceiving" another person?
You seem to not understand what "highest" means, or a plethora of actual life stuff, so you must be a kid.

Also yes, if YOU are not married and have had Preeks inside you (which I bet you do), you have no point.
You obviously just want my attention.

You really have comprehension issues if you don't understand the point I am driving home in clear English.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha @I want your attention. It must be worth a lot in the bank.

NLers always 100% sure of something they have no idea about.

Goodnight.

Very cool

I will however say, why get him so many tabs and consoles in the first place?

Anyways, very very good one.

Can be adapted for any situation with kids especially during the holidays.

And a Nigerian mum? Awesome!

chronique:
Nice one OP. Tattoos and multiple piercings are a huge turn off for me. I can't even date someone with a tattoo, let alone talk of wanting to marry one.

@2buffagain:

Notice the bold above, that is someone who can talk about tattoos.

Let it sink in.

If you can date and sleep with a tattooed girl (now you know you dislike it) with the intention of stringing her along till a non-tattooed girl comes along, you are no different from her morally.

2buffagain:
Urgh.... Thus says the Virgin.... Unless you're not... In which case you're just being a duplicitous pest.

What has virginity or lack of got to do with our exchange?

I am not surprised you can't comprehend my posts.

It takes one of a kind to sleep with/date a tattooed girl when you have no intentions of marrying one.

2buffagain:
Assumptions. Who said people need to lie to be in relationships?
You know nothing.

You said you can have an inked girl as a 'forever GF'.. how do you make her forever GF and even if you don't 'lie' to her, you still intend to sleep with her? Not so?. Except she doesn't want marriage, she will at a point expect you to commit and if you havent found your spec, you will keep lying to her to sustain the relationship.

2buffagain:
Also, if it is lifestyle...
A lifestyle can be changed.
A tattoo is forever.

Well, someone who got AIDS from sleeping around or lost a body part e.g. womb would disagree with you.

I have no issue with your stance on tattoos; no matter how 'liberal' I become, bells would unconsciously go off in my head when I see a tattooed person.

I have an issue with you believing that a fornicator and deceiver (you) has any moral standing to disparage a tattooed girl.

LivingFree:
I like that @ bold

You wouldn't put a bumper sticker on a Jaguar, would you? Not if you had class

@Bold: According to Kim. K

I doubt with all their craziness, any of the Kardashian clan has a tattoo.

2buffagain:
Like attracts like.
Such people are ignorant of a least 2 of the 4 points I made in this thread.

I find it interesting that while you condemn tattoos ( a vice I fully agree with your stance), you have no qualms stringing a girl along in a sexual relationship till you find the 'non-inked' girl that meets your fancy.

In the process of the above, you would have constantly lied to her (sin 1), had sex with her (sin 2) amongst other things.

Somehow, you still think that despite the bold, you have the moral stance to condemn a tattooed girl.

Really interesting.

zaragal:
So I should encourage sex before marriage like it's not wrong smply because it now a norm??.

Except you are reading a different post, I am not addressing sex before marriage, I am addressing your mentality towards sex. (that was why I put the caveat that 'except you have a different code for the married'

zaragal:
What in what I wrote is a wrong mentality??

Read my response above

zaragal:
Young lady, I believe I am entitle to my own opinion and you are entitle to yours so please respect that I am not you and you are not me. Thnx!

I agree.

zaragal:
So you wanna give up a working relationship with a wonderful woman cos of sex??....... you are in your early twenties so it's save to say you r not mature! (No Offense intended). A mature man will understand that good women are not easy to come by this days. Besides, after the sex? what next?? its not like you would doie if you don't have sex!!...why not try as much as you can to control yourself and think of other things other than sex. Trust me if you cheat on that girl with other girls you will lose her, and if you leave her because of sex you will regret it. It will be to lose. And you will realise sex is not everything at all..... a lot of other things matters.


Good morning.

In the meantime. Check my signature to grab this new device

Rid yourself of this mentality before you get married if you want to have a fulfilling sex life except if you have a different code for the married.

The OP is one of the most mature 20+ guys I know.

Mmmguy:
Plz I know there are men on this forum that has passed through what I'm facing.


I am a working class young man in his early 20s, my fiancee is in her final year in the university. She will have to do internship before service, so basically she still needs at least 3 years b4 she can settle down. she is younger than me. She is a virgin and I'm her first. She wanted us to wait till marriage which is still 3 yrs away based on her education. Our parents are aware of the relationship, so also is our religious leaders. I am not a virgin and as such it's difficult to wait. My job exposes me to different beautiful girls everyday and I give some free rides sometimes. In fact, I have one who intends to visit me this coming weekend but I haven't given her my final response. I have resorted to masturbation in order to quench my thirst for sex but it's not working.

She has made it known to me that she will rather quit than have sex before marriage.

My options are either to cheat or end the relationship ( I don't know of any other option for now). The latter is tough considering that we have both made sacrifices for the relationship, also her parents take me as their son. She is actually very good in other aspects including respect, submission, cooking, dressing etc. I don't want to loose a good woman yet I find it impossible to convince her. But I'm dying of konji everyday.

Anybody who has passed through this stage should pls give me the best advice.

P. S For the trolls here, I intentionally avoided romance section in order to get mature responses, so I wont dignify u with a response if u want to troll me.

@OP:

Your problem is that you and your girl are mixing and matching.

How?

You cannot have a relationship, claim to 'love' the person and yet not desire sex.

It is natural just like hunger.

What you two are doing is cooking delicious meals and pastries with the aroma all over the house at 12 noon when you want to break your fast at 9pm.

In plain English?

If you want to have a no sex relationship, don't date..... wait till a year plus or two you are ready to marry.... approach the girl you are sure is the one and study her character. When you are set, get married.

You are doing it the 'worldly' way to achieve 'godly' results. Take stats of people who waited until marriage and investigate what is common to all of them (religious or not).

And truthfully, if your girl has not shown any restrained sexual desire for you, then there is something wrong with the feelings she professed for you.

My advise: get married or end the relationship. You can decide to delay kids until she is done with school.

There is also no difference between her giving you BJ or whatever and the actual sex if she is staying pure for the spiritual aspect and one day, you guys will have sex.

Goodluck.

CarlyX8:
lolz
that you are wore a nice attire(Jersey) will not guarantee you victory, you have to work it out

Hahahahahahahahahhahahahahahaha.

Neither will dancing shaku shaku

@OP:

I am strongly of the opinion that things did not get worse drastically in our time;

They were always there however social media has exposed more.

I know a village where a girl of 20 without a child would be ridiculed..... no, they are not slay mamas and as at then, they didn't really have access to the internet.

Again, if we really want to define dysfunctional, the African set up has always been dysfunctional in different ways. A system that is unfair, encourages women to put up with shit to stay married, believe the people in authority or elderly can't be accountable to the younger ones etc. will breed dysfunctionality.

We complain how the rate of divorce, baby mamas (funny how we never mention the fathers) etc have increased and lament that our mothers were not so. A lot of people even cite how their mothers took shit from their fathers and stayed put bla bla.

We shouldn't forget that our parents' and grandparents' generation produced the thieving politicians we gave today; that generation birthed and trained this that seems to be 'dysfunctional' today.

We need to first define a 'functional' family and determine to be one.

Baby mamaism/papaism is just a symptom of the problem.

And you can't encourage men to cheat on one hand and expect the women in that same community to be chaste. You can't sow the wind and not reap the whirlwind.

crackhaus:
What do you think is the common denominator?

Access to drugs and weapons is not enjoyed by just the black American community, so why are they the ones most affected?

Again, what do you think is the common denominator?


You fail to see what I'm doing here.
My reference to the statistics on black Americans was made to show you one of the effects of children being raised outside what is considered a family unit and I believe I touched on more subjects than just crimes.

In Nigeria, the issue is still in infancy. It's only just recently that birthing children out of wedlock became a fad, seen to be okay...and it will only get worse.
I did mention the importance of a family unit when it comes to impacting ideas and positive behaviors in children which in turn reverberates in the larger society. Yes, the family unit is important. It is the most important foundation any human can have and to be honest, Nigerians by default don't know how to raise and build families.

A dysfunctional family isn't just a family with one parent present, I find this definition too basic. In my opinion, a dysfunctional family is one where either or both parents have no clue what they're doing when it comes to impacting ideas and positive behaviors...and who can blame them? They themselves were not taught by their own parents.
If we take a survey here and ask people to tell us how many of them were sat down by a parent and taught extensively how to be a father/husband or a mother/wife, the results will astound you. What about finding out how many were taught financial management, relationship management, courtesy, social conduct, etc by one or both parents, the results will be around 1 in 30.

Most of the things Nigerians know about life and self, they learnt on their own, not from their parents - quote me anywhere. This in itself is an aberration.
It now requires a conscious effort and a fair amount of personal responsibility on the part of every single one of us to make sure we instill proper values and ideas on our wards for their own sake and for the sake of the larger society.
Things like baby mama, baby daddy, adultery, divorce, and so many other vices that are now being made to seem normal and celebrated, remain wrong at the end of the day...there's no two ways about it. I'm not saying there aren't situations where these things happen through no fault of the people involved, however, it is imperative that we make it a personal responsibility to make sure these things don't happen.

There is right and there is wrong, absolutely nothing in between.

Is this you or a twin?

So today has finally come and gone and Nigeria is dancing shaku shaku back home....

So here we go. What are the lessons I learnt?

1.That you running same race doesn't mean you have same goals: The Argentine coach was focused on his own goal..... to beat Nigeria. To that end, he brought in four strikers in the 2nd half to achieve that goal. The Nigerian Coach for some reasons did not think to bring additional defenders to secure the post and maintain the scoreline... the draw. It almost seemed that he was following Argentina's goals.... to score more goals.

2. Doing same thing and expecting same results is insanity: Time doesn't make things better if we don't work towards improving the situation. This is the fifth time Argentina has knocked Nigeria out of the World Cup tournament. One would have thought our Coach would have studied the trends and come up with a strategy against Argentina....

3. Strategy always trumps strength: This is very self explanatory.... The African teams were just playing with power...

4. Some opportunities lost can never be regained: Nigeria had the opportunity to score additional scores however, missed it. If we had scored more, Argentina's 2nd goal wouldn't have sent us home.

5. It is not over until it is over: At the 83rd minute, Nigerians we like..... Argentina o da bo! The dashboard already updated to Croatia 7 pts, Nigeria 4 pts, Argentina and Iceland 2 pts each. See the miracle at about 86 mins. The rejoicing turned out to be pre-mature .

6. The foundation is important: Our team is notorious for playing in the starting games and permutating on the failure of others to qualify. Perhaps if we had drawn with Croatia (I know the goals were 'unfortunate'), we would still be in the competition. Not everyone will respond to our wish of failure to pave a way for us to succeed. Who knows, maybe our consistent wishing people to fail (lose) is why Argentina keeps flogging us out ... Afterall, we all pray to the 'god' of football.

7. Run your race aka face your lane: Closely ties to point 6; we should go with the intention of beating a team instead of praying that another loses so we can qualify. I am sure Croatians never prayed or anyone in the group to lose; they didn't need it. Having the determination to win their matches was enough.


Add yours...

And sorry to all Nigerians; hopefully we learn our lessons and perform in 2022 World Cup.

Humans ability to judge people they messed up with is astonishing.

deanxy:
I have been dating this girl for a while now, probably, 3 to 4 yrs and There are plans of taking it to the next level(marriage).
Sometimes last month,i discovered I couldn't view my girls profile on watsap, so I suspected something went wrong and I decided to use my friends phone. I then discovered that she uploaded on her status pictures of her and a guy( she told me is her ex), describing him as her bestie. This really pissed me off and I didn't made mention of it to her. I just pretended nothing happened.
I later spoke to my cousin (who is her best friend and who I actually got to know my girl through her) and she said my girl did so because she wanted to piss the guys girlfriend who thought they are still going out together.
Now, I don't know what to believe and what to do.

@OP:

How old is this girl because I can not wrap my head around the bolded:

Philpham:
None at all. All Nigerian men are dead beats, cheaters, and wife beaters. Eg wiz kid, davido, maje , teebillz etc. Just mentioning d popular ones.
Nigerian men are a disgrace, women should just use them as sperm donors and dump.

Guess you have surveyed all dads in Nigeria to know that they are deadbeat?

If you have to use celebrities as examples of deadbeat dads and still claim that all men in Nigeria are, it says a lot about you.

enemyofprogress:
who tolded you that she cannot be unraped? all they need to do is to rapeee her all over again and she gets unraped

You are so insensitive.....

Not surprised anyways. Your username says it all.

Maybe blame was the wrong word.

She wasn't street smart else any lady knows that any 'come and collect money upstairs' is a recipe for disaster.

Thank God for the good Samaritan who took her to the hospital.

I am 100% certain that if they go back there, they would meet a different set of boys.

They can alert the local police to arrest the boys there or send then away (if they are not afraid of the touts/ part of them/ bribed by them) so that other innocent girls don't fall victim.

@OP:

If your write up is true, go to Hod, only Him can save you.

Most families have something battling them and if someone doesn't take a stand and pay the price if need be, the evil pattern will go from generation to generation.

Some is poverty; some is hereditary illnesses; some is short life; some is failure at the end of success etc.

Cheny:
You forgot to mention Italy who were champs in 2006 but booted out in 2010.

Brazil 2014 defending champions given 7 -1

Daeylar:
She is right. Happy fathers day to all the single mothers with who had babies with men who then CHOSE to be absent fathers.

Happy fathers day to all the strong women playing the role of both mum and dad for their kids because of worthless deadbeat dads.

Emmmmmmm

Unless the mother was raped, she deliberately opened her legs for a poyential deadbeat dad.

If the dad became deadbeat afterwards, is a different story.

I am not saying I am infallible; I am saying these women should bring up their kids in peace without drama.

Who knows, wishing the father happy father's day might even make him sit up.

Even if the father is dead or a scones or deadbeat or aliveflog, their mother can't be their father. She can at best be a super mom.

Chiamanda don suffer.

This would help her concentrate on writing another book.

jaksmillioniar:
I saw a blog yesterday and feel sad. did u know DAT mother is home builder.did u know dat if a child act badly is the mothers fault. a father will Neva teach his baby how to bath cook or take care of theirself.most women fail
if as a mother u let house girl keep cooking for ur hubby and child u are a failure. if u let ur house girl always carry ur child to sleep u are a failure. some teens dis days lack home trainy act talk and dress anyhow nobody to correct dem. as a woman if u make a billions and ur family fail u are a failure.

Are you a Christian? If yes, then you will realize that the duty of training the child falls on the father.