₦airaland Forum

churro:
I don't really understand the response I 'm reading. Op barely knew the Uncle, helped him till his death, transferred the help to his wife who took it like ske was entitled to it so much so that she didn't even think her worthy to visit the OP and her baby when she gave birth. Who does that?

Dear Op, I am a giver as well. As a matter of fact, I love giving, but if I were you, I wouldn't send anything to this widow anymore. She dosent love you. Dosent even like you or appreciate you. You are just an Atm to her. Pray to God, he will direct you to people to give to, and that is where he will bless you, not all these man-made, by-force giving that God did not send you.

richiemcgold:
If you tell her your grievances she may take it as offence or an act of arrogance. If I were you, I'll stop giving her money directly, any financial assistance I make will only be for her daughter.

True this.

If she has a daughter and doesn't have the initiative to visit the OP or offer to help, there is no need stating any grievance.

Kingosytex:
At the bolded, are you owing her any money?
Your response was even economical, I would have asked her if she gave me any money to keep for her.
I don't tolerate selfish and self centered people.
There is this girl that always chats me up when she needs money. As a matter of fact, any time I see her chat, I automatically know that she needs something.
I've never given her a dime for once because such attitude makes me sick.
This goes to show you that people only remember you when they need you.

Voice out your frustrations on the said woman, spill it out and look out for her reactions.
How sober or guilty she is will determine the next step you take.

@bold:

Co-ask

madridguy:
Kindly overlook her character and give her the money.
Meanwhile, Congratulations on your beautiful bundle of joy.

This is how we keep breeding entitled monsters.

tollyboy5:
If you are man, i dont know what to say to you.

But if you're a lady then foolishness is always common with those gender.
I was telling kobojunkie the other day that women need to be put to their place because majority of them lack this ability to think critically and be objective. I grew up to know this after relating with alot of ladies.

@bold:

A mad man thinks everyone else is mad.

If you read the wholesome post you quoted (which dealt with kids taking sides & not even going public) and came up with the foolish post above, your foolishness cannot be cured.

Adanambra1:
Goodmorning OP. if i tell you i n have an advice to give you. i am a big Liar. one thing i will say, do not marry by human calculation., just take a 7 days fast, ask the holy spirit for a clear direction,
ask him to give you a sign of peace, or he should speak to you through dreams or revelation. tell him, God is this woman or man is not your will for me, let the marriage plan scatter. my husband prayed this prayers before we got married. i married into a family. where some siblings of my husband had delays and fertility issues. it discouraged my husband from married, He was almost 40. afraid of marriage. his younger sibling already married. story plenty... i no fit type.... all you need now is partnership with the holy not prophets.... my eye see something. infact during one marriage counselling session. one of their family pastor said... Nnne you know childbirth can delay in marriage.

hope you will happily stay married to your husband... because the pastor knows my husband family antecedence with infertility struggle. omor eeh i gently, respectfully but firmly but interrupted the man of God sharp sharp.... ( i was just 29... this their family pastor is in his 50s....


i tell the pastor am say no be like this dey do marriage counselling. my fiancée now husband was shocked, ( i remember when pastor Paul Enenche said do not keep quite when matters challenging your destiny are discussed) which kind counsel of Ahithophel be this, i said in my mind, i had goose pimples that day...
We got married. i was 29years , my husband clocked 40years


hahaha, you don't want to experience Ndi womb watchers.

at the end God showed us Mercy. I got pregnant after 2 months of marriage to the glory of God
God had mercy on me and my husband.

God can favour a 40 years old woman and she gets pregnant easily and born within the first year of marriage .
while 21 year old virgin fit dey wait ooo for 5 years or more

there are no parameters. no formulars ( hey mind you my husband was my first sexual partner)
so i am pro chastity.
what am i am saying in essence, this are hard matters. you need to partner with the Holy ghost, not pastors, prophets or Naira landers. May the lord himself give you an answer of peace, Amen

Well said

Kobojunkie:
Please set the girl free and go find yourself the fertility goddess you need instead.

She is still 27 so before her youth leaves her, set her free. Let her find her own love who will have her as priority above everything else. Stop holding her hostage in a relationship which you already know ain't going to go anywhere for her.

Chuckling at the bold.

At the end of the day, everyone knows the difference between fantasy and reality

Compliments of the season Kobo ☺️

OP is talking of 'snatched' husband; attachment is talking about Kayan Mata.

Sounds like some people decided to catch cruise on X.

IamMobisola:
Let me take a guess.

You have cheated on your wife before and she found out. Since then she's been acting all cool like nothing happened. Now she wants to start attending events and functions something she rarely does, now she is making friends, something she never does.

Stop Projecting. She is a human being, not a child you can command about.

Makes sense

socialmediaman:
OP stop playing with your marriage!

Give your wife a call and ask her all the information you need. The person's gender, her relationship with the person (school mate, old friend etc), why the person invited a married woman alone to a wedding and not together with her husband, as a respectful individual should do. When this invitation was given and why you didn't know about it sooner etc.

I see that she requested your brother go with her. Even if you trust this arrangement and decide to grant this request, you still need to know exactly who this friend is, what her role in the occasion is (if any), the address and phone number of the friend, the venue of the wedding, emergency contact number etc, before asking your brother to go with her, and be with her the whole time

This is NOT unnecessary control, and even if it is control, it is GOOD control. It's for your family's protection.

@ bold:

Is this a joke? OP is in USA, wife is in Kenya, wedding is in Kenya. They should invite the husband from the US?

Besides, did the husband show up with his wife and they turned him back?

Obolor123454:
NB, I OPENED THIS ACCOUNT FOR THIS

Hello my friends, I need you different view and please I need your in put about my wife.
We live in the states. she is in kenya for a three weeks visit with the 2 kids. She has been in kenya for about 10 days, three days ago, she called me and said she will be attending her friend's marriage ceremonial, which is taking place 600km away she did not say if the person is a male or female ( I did not ask because I was just kind of not wanting to be drawn into the discussion), she said she may not be able to come back same day, because event is starting late that she will like my brother to come with her, because she does not want to go alone. This is the first time I am hearing about this occassion, she never mentioned it before and I do not know the friend she is talking about. (or at least I am sure, because I do not really know most of friends, and she is not the friend keeping type)
I just told her that I am not ready for the discussion yet.
Please guys what are your take, I do not feel like telling her to go ( well, she may still go without my consent )
Please it may sound stupid, I just need your genuine advice

@ bold:

Why?

Caseless:
Women know how to hide some of these chats. It's difficult for men though as we hardly remember to delete our chats when we are done cheating.

At this rate, is there anything men can do well?

Even cheating NL men claim is their forte is a problem to execute well.

Ajsmart:
100% TRUTH!!!!! There never was an equal playing field!!

Who made the playing field unequal?

CoronaVirusPro:
Both race never had same playing field!

The Whites were already miles ahead before the first black man started!

He is just another Elon Musk, the lineage laid the foundation and the money was there! Blacks were still been deprived of basics when the whites started building empires.

And who deprived the blacks mbok?

ryloy:
Is Mark Zuckerberg Promoting Secret Affairs with this New Features on WhatsApp ?

Is this good for safety and security?

What a question in the new month.

If you don't have a secret lover, would this new feature make you get one? 🤔

Fira10:
'Pedophile of Ife' has spoken, what do you expect.

His fellow rodents like Legendhero will attest to it brainlessly.

Pedophile?

Has he been accused of sexual involvement with underage girls?

This is a belief in Yoruba mythology.

seunayantokun:
I think more 30+ are regretting than the teens and below 20 couples. Just my thought, no stats.

Toor.

Why do you think so?

nedekid:
Even 27 too early? Haba.
Nigeria is what makes people marry late. I knew back in the day an indigent student at UI ibadan, at 24, he got a job at chevron with starting salary of 10k, an un heard of amount. In 6 months the fella married his woman.
Why do I say naija is the problem? The economy and how things are set up.
A young man in the uk, at 24 is already married if he wishes to, he already has a house based on modgage, a nice brand new car on lease. He is working with skills acquired. By the time he is 27, he buys a bigger house by selling the previous one(as family has grown), he keeps paying his modgage and building his wealth through his property. Access to credit helps him.
Here in naija, you are on your own, even steady job hardly can run your expenses, to have a house, you muct cough out the whole money or pay huge rent with atleast 1 year payment.
Inshort, naija makes people advance in age before becoming men.

This is a valid point.

And again this stretching of 'babyhood' makes people thing 30 is the new 18.

cunny88:
Like most decisions in life, marrying early has it's pros and it's cons. I could have done tins better if I know what I know now, however, there are several positives for which am grateful for

EOD

All rise!

martolux:
And the ones who married in their 40s plans to bear kids for other people to cater for?

😄 🤣 😂 😆 😄 🤣 😂 😆 😄

Nice shot fired!

Good one o jare

Stephen2324:
Men who married at 24, 25, 26, 27. Do you regret it? If you could, would you have it different next time?

What kind of heinous decor & cake are these?

Couldn't the decorator browse online for colour inspiration? Cream & Brown, Blue & Yellow etc. etc.

@OP: any reason why the couple wanted to wed so early? Are they done with secondary school? Do they have a source of income to feed themselves?

According to Wikipedia, Davido was born November 1992 while Teni was born in December 1993.

Even if they were born same year, Davido can claim 'egbon' in Yoruba culture because he would older by a month

I wish I could influence the law; a lot of parents would be accomplices to crimes against their kids and jailed alongside the perpetrators.

Oga Priest, when you realized you couldn't control your sexual urge, why didn't you honorably resign and get married?

ceejay80s:
She died before Peter met Jesus, just read it now, that doesn't count...he didn't remarry even after death of Jesus.
His wife was killed by the romans

Same Peter that Paul said used to visit churches with his wife?

Paramount01:
Say is who? Is that what you are feed? White woman chooses c.s than natural birth.why? Because they can't bear the pain of bush! Bush!

Are you a woman or have you done C/S before?

If no, then shut it.

LordReed:
This is the kind of empathy we should have for each other. Everybody has pains and challenges of their own but you may think they don't.

izibili44:
That message is for all the good women out there.

Bad women do not experience the pains in the OP?

creolehunt:
So, a woman contributing to her home is conditional?

I hope you bring this mandatory energy when it comes to the domestic part of marriage.

Angelfrost:
I honestly can't pity such Nigerians anymore...!


I can only slightly pity the innocent children who never asked to be born into a life of penury.


Poor people should take child spacing and family planning more seriously. Look at the North already consumed by terrorism.

@bold:

I wish they would heed

psucc:
She did so knowing Papa can afford the shelf's provisions. Where the ₦25,000 is the total income for the family including transport to work, my suggestion will suffice.

If N25k is the total family income especially in a place like Lagos, then they cannot afford kids.