₦airaland Forum

Tallesty1:
This is wrong.






After hearing of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's divorce, A Yoruba man, Baba Iyabo is introducing a new anti-divorce herbal medicine.



He's calling it Pitt-Angeli Herbal Mixture.

Hahahahhahahahhahahhahahahaha!

Acidosis:
You're absolutely right, but seeing the Topic has to do with marriage, and ME.d, I expected something thoughtful about her current family.

The topic (without the bull crap message) would have inspired many out there who see teenage pregnancy as the end of the world.

I expected to see a message like;

In spite the stigmatization I faced at age 11, I scaled through school, got married to a wonderful darling husband, etc..

That alone would have encouraged many guys who are currently in love with single moms but scared to take the relationship further due to hearsay, family issues, etc.

In fact, I was hoping to see a message against abortion or something...

Sadly, her message will scare many as she has affirmed the widespread worries of many about single moms.

I absolutely agree with you.

The overall message does nothing to help the cause of single parents.

ItsQuinn:
Her husband was no where to be found, her husband didn't contribute anything to her struggles, her husband wasn't there when she was at her worst, so why must he be recognised? Recognised for what na?

The only people that need the recognition and application is her father and her son. Shikena!

Really?

Acidosis:
She's a married woman, read the quote and the Topic.

She wanted us to know that in spite bn pregnant at 11, she got a man, and a M.Ed.

Unfortunately, she selfishly poured all the appreciation to her son with no single word about the man who, in spite her situation, loved her and counted her worthy enough to be a wife.

This attitude puts me off completely. It doesn't apply only to single moms though, some married women are like that.

Wanted to had this to my initial post to you.

For we wives... It is husbands before kids please.

Acidosis:
You see the problem I have with some single moms?

Your son is your life? what about your husband, no single word about him?

There's nothing inspiring about this, from my own point of view.

@Bold: Maybe she meant he was her source of inspiration....because he truly is.

Timbuktou:
Let's start with the meaning of appear(s), shall we?
Appear:To become evident or manifest <there appears to be evidence to the contrary>. You don't have to trust my definition, though, Google is willing to give you up to a hundred definitions of the word which price that my usage if it is, in fact, accurate.

Fine

Timbuktou:
The problem isn't me painting a false picture, it's you not have a broad enough vocabulary to accommodate my usage of the word 'appear', thus causing you to not appreciate the context of my comment.

The appear is not an issue... play with words as you deem fit. The false picture largely stems from the portion of your previous post I highlighted.

Timbuktou:
Lol, more impact to who and to what end exactly? And the explanation about my son's circumstances to what end exactly? If someone were to ask me if I was worried about his situation and if I were taking steps to remedy them, perhaps I might volunteer more information. However, I haven't seen the need to make such comments, and I certainly haven't been asked that. Instead, I was asked if I wanted my son discriminated against.

Thus the false picture you are painting.

How would someone know you have a 'situation' if I didn't ask that question to be sure? Reading your posts sounded like you have a loving family with your kids having the best of a joint family life. You have the responsibility not to lead people on... (yeah, you might say people online shouldn't be stup.id to believe everything but that's for another day).

Interestingly, the information you felt the need to hoard would have brought balance and learning to this thread. You have always felt children of single parents are not god candidates for marriage.. 'unfortunately', you found your self in same shoes and have taken XYZ steps to ensure your son is an eligible bachelor. People would learn from your story and some single parents would correct their current mistakes.[/quote]

Timbuktou:
Hmm, yet I have made comments such as this on this thread.

Or this:

You know you can ask questions to reconcile my beliefs and my situation and see how I tend to navigate them from a genuine standpoint. Or you can ask 'gotcha' questions. Your call. .

'Gotcha' questions is your forte

You had no intention to be genuine with you telling us you don't want your son mingling with kids of single parents

Timbuktou:
But the problem really isn't my son's situation, though, is it? The problem is actually my beliefs. You don't agree with them, do you?

Your beliefs or opinions on this matter (or any other) is not my 'problem'/concern;

Afterall, I stated clearly in the baby mama thread I couldn't marry a baby daddy as they have baggage (I honestly know this is a crass generalization)... however it would have been absurd if I was a baby mama myself.

P.S.:

You can tell us how you mitigate the pitfalls of single parenthood.

Timbuktou:
My thoughts on this thread are as close to my beliefs as possible. Should my beliefs change because my son appears to fall on the wrong side of them? Would it be alright to have my beliefs if my son wasn't in that demographic? Some of us try to be dispassionate, you know. Especially when the stakes are very high as in the case of marriage.

Anyway, you would have to show me where I asked for discrimination against these people. All I have advocated for is people be careful when marrying people in this demographic.

Your son is involved and is suddenly 'appearances'?

This is not been 'dispassionate', it is more of painting a false picture.

Your post would have made more impact if you stated the fact that you are a single dad and/or your son was with you/his mother; the pitfalls you noticed with children raised by single parents and the proactive steps you have taken for your son to turn out different.

Besides, this is the post I found strange especially the bold...

Timbuktou: Polygamous homes, single parents homes(especially single mother homes) have the distinct feature of a usually absentee father, hence, children are left worse off. Not to say all single parent or polygamous homes are guilty for suppplying society with deviants, but they do supply the most and disproportionately too. Prostitutes and criminals are more likely to come from such arrangements where there is no strong father figure. 70℅ of prison inmates in Nigeria are products of fatherlessness. Feel free to look it up.

Having said that, victims of these situations do not have any right to demand that others overlook what could be considered possible effects of their flawed upbringing. People have the right to consider if the person they want to "live the rest of their life with" will go the whole way or drop out like mummy or daddy did, or that the causes for the split of their parents will not rear their heads up in their own marriage.

I, for one, would strongly counsel my children to stay away from such people. If they are adamant, they must make sure there are no lingering after effects or carried over sleeper bombs (hopefully). You can't come and tell me a couple of years later that, you were wrong. Nobody wants their children to choose a damaged spouse or see their children go through a divorce.

You would strongly counsel your son (son of a single father 'at best'/ single mother) to stay away from children of other single parents especially mothers?

Very strange.

Timbuktou:
And?

I am wondering why you would want your son discriminated against.

Only 26 rules?

See how you reduced men to brainless chickens whose penis need policing.

Toks2008:
The problem starts when we begin to rationalize and try to see reasons why submission from a woman should be hinged on the condition that the man loves the woman.

When you submit to your husband, he will only find himself loving you more and more.

Interestingly,

You are also making the same 'mistake'

You are hinging the love from the husband on the condition that the wife submits to him.

And you also did not answer Berbierklaus's question:

If non-submission from the wife is a sin and disobedience to God, is non-loving from the husband a sin and disobedience to God?

@OP: Whatever rocks your boat.

octus2008:
"You can love & nurse a woman back to health & she'll still file for divorce"
Brad Pitt, 2016

20 MARKS IF U CAN ARGUE THIS RIGHT

OPINIONS PLSSSS

What caused the divorce?

Timbuktou:
Polygamous homes, single parents homes(especially single mother homes) have the distinct feature of a usually absentee father, hence, children are left worse off. Not to say all single parent or polygamous homes are guilty for suppplying society with deviants, but they do supply the most and disproportionately too. Prostitutes and criminals are more likely to come from such arrangements where there is no strong father figure. 70℅ of prison inmates in Nigeria are products of fatherlessness. Feel free to look it up.

Having said that, victims of these situations do not have any right to demand that others overlook what could be considered possible effects of their flawed upbringing. People have the right to consider if the person they want to "live the rest of their life with" will go the whole way or drop out like mummy or daddy did, or that the causes for the split of their parents will not rear their heads up in their own marriage.

I, for one, would strongly counsel my children to stay away from such people. If they are adamant, they must make sure there are no lingering after effects or carried over sleeper bombs (hopefully). You can't come and tell me a couple of years later that, you were wrong. Nobody wants their children to choose a damaged spouse or see their children go through a divorce.

@Topic:

I thought you were unmarried and have a son?

adviseseeker:
Like I said in your thread, without no malicious intention, you are with an idiot. Sorry to day but it is fact. My word wife is the exact opposite of you while I am the exact opposite of your husband. I initial all the romance. My wife hardly ever says I love you not to talk of initiating romance. This made me ask her couple of times if I disgust her.

Are you guys sure you won't switch spouses.....

Na play I dey play o!

forlahkhe:
Anytime i have disagreement with my husband, he would always tell me that "I WL GO OUTSIDE, PLENTY BABES DEY OUTSIDE DAT NEED MEN AND I WONT EVEN SPEND MUCH B4 THEY OPEN THEIR LEGS". I always feel hurt by this statement because I believe that we should BOTH be committed to make our home work. If i wont go out there to look for men why should he?

My marriage is just 2yyears but i have never enjoyed 1month happiness. My hubby would prefer to stay late @work because he doesn't want our baby to disturb him with cry cry. I'm a sit @home mum, I resigned my marketing job because I want to have time for my baby but now my husband would not give me money anytime we have misunderstanding, not even for my baby too.

I have called his parents' attention to this but his people call me "ABOKOKU". That because he is married to me doesnt mean he should not enjoy himself, afterall, there are times someone is tired of eating rice and you would want to taste beans and other varieties. His father (57yrs) still has concubines which his mum can't do anything about. But the truth is that this thing is wearing me out emotionally.

I AM MARRIED BT LONELY

Did you and your husband decide you stay at home for the baby or did you just decide on your own?

Do you know if your husband would rather have a live-in maid with you working than you staying at home 'non-productive' with the baby?

I have no idea about the cheating part however,

Ask him if he wants/likes a stay at home mom... if he finds them attractive then move on from there.

leonard10:
I WANNA LEAVE HOME,.PLS ADVICE ME...

Am the first born of my family out of 4 children, Am just through with my NCE PROGRAM at Adeyemi College of Education. The second born, my younger brother, is at service, the 3rd born is already in final year while our last born is in part 2. I am slow in my education due to some circumstances. Though before my NCE PROGRAM, I had already schooled at Federal polytechnic ado,(which there's nothing to show for it....My gp was just too low). But at least I thank God I performed well at Adeyemi college.

But there's something, my parents are tired of me, I look like a stranger even in my father's house, My progress is not a match to my younger ones .

Even if I wanna progress after my NCE PROGRAM, (IT WOULD BE THE 3RD HIGHER INSTITUTIONS HAVE ATTENDED) I feel ashamed of myself even among my younger ones at home. It really gives me psychological trauma. I don't know what to do, every mistake I do is noticed, while my younger ones are pampered at same mistake.

I remembered when I almost committed suicide at home, life at home is just as Hell fire.and many experiences at home. They are just fed up with me.

My verdict is, I wanna leave home for me sister house and start a new life from there, I Want to huzzle myself and take care of my education with the little help of my Aunty (younger sister of my dad)

So the question is should I continue under my Parents , Am 25 years of Age.

Or continued with my decision to Start a new life somewhere. But remember that my staying with my parents is like being in hell... PLEASE ADVISE ME.

Listen to Darey's pray for me song over and over again till you soak in the mesage. See link below to the video:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vS-Iv2PaV8s

Goodluck

crackhaus:


https://www.reactiongifs.com/r/pyitf.gif

You want to burst your veins?

You will probably collapse before the slap reaches my face

crackhaus:
Sure, the basic undiluted core message in both is inherently good...this was until everyone who managed to get an education became too smart for their own good and thought themselves capable of adjusting/fine-tuning these messages to personal specification.

Chai!

Mindfulness sure has a wonderful effect on you; pity she's married

I am a firm believer of the basic core messages of Christianity & feminism.

Their basic definitions are just perfect for me.

Mindfulness: thanks

crackhaus:
Eureka!!!
You totally got the point.


We don't complain about being used, and women really need to stop seeing themselves as victims every time a once good relationship doesn't work out.

@Bold:

Men need to pick a stance...

When a relationship break up, they boast about that they used the girl etc. On the other hand, they lament women want to put a price to sex. (in legitimate relationships); women are also trained that men can sleep about and be fine however women must keep themselves etc. etc.

Women are also trained treat sex as an instrument to get what they want from men; without and he will marry you; give well in marriage and he will love you; give sparingly/ not at all when you want something to force his hand; give well as a reward for a good/gift/job well done etc.

Rome was not built in a day.

crackhaus:
1. Special treatment E.g. opening of doors, or expecting a man to buy you stuff...and so many others.

2. Headship in Christianity.

1. Feminism teaches or opposes 'special treatments'? And because of opening doors and buying people stuff, you would actually want a lady to consider herself inferior to you?

2. Have I ever opposed headship before? NL's typical problem.... we never really read posts of posters we don't like/generally agree with . To think I actually created a thread on this subject that you commented on.

Mindfulness, where at thou?

crackhaus:
Nobody is going to jail any one of you, but I just wanted you to think about it for a minute.

Why be a feminist when you don't accept some of its ideology?
Why be a Christian when you don't agree with all the laid down guidelines for Christianity?

Examples?

Her parent's marriage was obviously not smooth.

No normal couple would ignore their anniversary for a concert recital.... They would either all go together for the recital (afterall, the daughter is one of the fruits of their love) and the couple would head for their romantic getaway alone afterwards.

crackhaus:
It's the truth.

Funny quote.

But again, girls seduce boys for sex and the boys feel they used the girl

I am sure you guys are happy to be used

crackhaus:
Feminists aren't allowed to have individual preferences on what they choose to believe about feminism—that's how it ties into this discussion.

Lols!

I think mindfulness is needed again

All feminists must interpret all things about feminism same way? Who is the 'Disallower' not allowing them?

Mindfulness ooooooooooooooooooo!

5minsmadness:


I waa actually interested in the original topic, didnt know u guys had veered off to something else.

Make i go back to observing from the sidelines

Na real veering o!

I read interesting articles and decide to bring them here joor...

Helping the ministry.

crackhaus:
If a lizard isn't anywhere near the wall, there will be no need for the wall to open.

This one is your own remix.

crackhaus:
Like how the man is the head of the home just like Christ is the head of the church, and it isn't up for a debate/argument.

And how does this tie into the discussion?

5minsmadness:
Lol, honestly the same thought went through my mind

Change from what to what?

When I post another tread on what men should do, I become the normal bukatyne abi?

Who doesn't want to eat his cake and have it back

I have not changed, I am still the same bukatyne

crackhaus:
She actually did 'man-snatch/home break' though.

It's been twelve years, but the news cycle is going to keep making references to it whether she likes it or not.

@Bold:

Is Brad a lifeless handbag women snatch?

If the wall doesn't open its wall, lizards will not enter.

crackhaus:
Lol @ what feminists want on an individual level.

That's like saying Christians who all read the same Bible and follow the same comandments, are still allowed to want things on an individual level that go against the commandments.
If so, what then is the point of being a Christian, ergo, a feminist?

Things against the commandments like?

crackhaus:
As a feminist, if you knew everything about feminism...then yes ABSOLUTELY.

Lols!

I don't know everything about anything today.

Still learning every day.

Unlike you old wise man, I am still a young learning lady

crackhaus:
Shey na Brad file for divorce in both cases?

Not blaming Brad for the divorces; I am absolving Jolie from the crime of 'man snatching/home breaking'.

Brad made his choice(s).

A40:
How many houses are women solely in charge of chores nowadays? Chores that can easily be outsourced at next to nothing.

We are not in a traditional setting anymore. Even women don't want to be limited to just baby rearing and housework. Why is it now when its time to share the financial weight na that time problem go dey?

Anyway I have seen somebody that shares my view so we're good

@Bold: Very happy for you...

That's all that matters.

Invite me for the wedding... Want a big chunk of cake especially.