freecocoa: Really? A girl can't wear short clothes without wanting sex? She can't just want to relax on the guy's body? She also can't leave her buttons open just to feel more comfortable?
raumdeuter: Any boy caught fighting a girl from Nursery to University if he is gaining the upper hand would be shamed "How can you be fighting a girl" or beaten by onlookers, if the girl is gaining the upper hand he would be mocked and laughed at
When one radio presenter DJ freeze came out to say his wife was beating him and showed us scars people mocked him andsaw the hilarious side to it. But if it was a woman beaten that way I am sure the reaction would have been different
In a lot of cases women assume because they have some God given right, they can attack first and nothing would happen, there was a story I wanted to post here before spambot slammed me on Sunday
A girl in a new York train saw a 6ft 6 bouncer and she started abusing him the guy didnt respond, she mocked his jacket that its like whats made in 1990, the guy didnt respond, she went on and removed her stilleto to hit the guy on the head, The guy now beat her back.
On that train some were already shouting "How can you hit a girl".
The question is she knew she stood no chance in a fight with the 6ft6 bouncer yet insulted him and used her shoe to hit him? What would make her have that kind of liver if she didnt believe in her right to attack and not be touched which we are taught now
While the girl was abusing him and hitting him no one said anything, the moment the guy gave her a slap, 3 people got up to fight the guy
I still think you are mixing both Nigeria & the West. In some quarters, it is not so bad to beat your wife and wives are still pleaded with to bear abusive husbands.
I however agree with you that anyone who goes about punching people especially stronger ones shouldn't cry foul when punched back or knocked out.
Responded on the other post too about marriage/cohabitiy
raumdeuter: Any boy caught fighting a girl from Nursery to University if he is gaining the upper hand would be shamed "How can you be fighting a girl" or beaten by onlookers, if the girl is gaining the upper hand he would be mocked and laughed at
When one radio presenter DJ freeze came out to say his wife was beating him and showed us scars people mocked him andsaw the hilarious side to it. But if it was a woman beaten that way I am sure the reaction would have been different
In a lot of cases women assume because they have some God given right, they can attack first and nothing would happen, there was a story I wanted to post here before spambot slammed me on Sunday
A girl in a new York train saw a 6ft 6 bouncer and she started abusing him the guy didnt respond, she mocked his jacket that its like whats made in 1990, the guy didnt respond, she went on and removed her stilleto to hit the guy on the head, The guy now beat her back.
On that train some were already shouting "How can you hit a girl".
The question is she knew she stood no chance in a fight with the 6ft6 bouncer yet insulted him and used her shoe to hit him? What would make her have that kind of liver if she didnt believe in her right to attack and not be touched which we are taught now
While the girl was abusing him and hitting him no one said anything, the moment the guy gave her a slap, 3 people got up to fight the guy
I still think you are mixing both Nigeria & the West. In some quarters, it is not so bad to beat your wife and wives are still pleaded with to bear abusive husbands.
I however agree with you that anyone who goes about punching people especially stronger ones shouldn't cry foul when punched back or knocked out.
the companies will probably not do so cus 1. dnt think companies can force you in the decision of your mode of transport after or before work.
2. not all workers of same area close same time or live in same area. 3. Most companies have staff less than 10, staff bus is not an option 4. companies will rather spend money to find parking space than reduce it.
if that where posSible, some would have tried it, in nigeria, you must be at your station before oga arrives.
not everywhere can be a business district, geography and geo politics wunt allow that. look at NYC and compare it to the state.
actually it's like 15 to 20 mins, ikorodu to the jetty is like 30 mins, the jetty at ajaH to lekki express is like 15 mins.
The water transport might help, but it wunt totally solve it 1. storm issues 2. nigerians and superstition issues 3. night time issues,( it's totally totally dark at night)
the political situation in naija will not allow too much thinking outside the box. He did not get their by himself alone, he needs to provide contracts for those useless people. And they wunt take small contracts that wunt bring big money. Secondly, due to too many years of underdevelopment, nigerians only see a governor who does white elephant projects as the one performing. In 2019, will you vote for Ambode cus he solved transportation problem?, no, but they will vote for him cus he built the 4th mainland bridge, even if the traffic problems continue
A coy who has the staff strength of 10 contributes minutely to the traffic and does not need to provide staff buses.
I am referring to coys that 40% of her staff lives in area A or has a central takeoff point.
If I have to pay N1,500 daily for packing space, I would naturally explore other ways to get to work.
Even if people are scared of water, the 'brave/adventurous' ones would use the water and decongest the road for others.
I believe Nigerians are becoming politically mature and can see through the politicians & their white elephant projects.
byvan03: You know we always hear things like " A man can cheat because he paid the bride price and owns the woman". Am just curious to know what mantra they will change to if marrying a wife doesn't cost a dime. They should exchange cowries as bride price, scrap that horrible list that they issue out. Let's see the new excuses.
Tiwa Salvage says she will always allow her estranged husband to have access to their son. As a Yoruba woman, she is totally in the wrong here. This is more so because the Yoruba people have three phases of marriage: the Introduction, the Engagement and the Registry, Church or Mosque Ceremony.
The most significant of the three stages is the engagement proper which is often conducted under the Yoruba Cutomary Marriage Act. The Act states that the children of the union between a husband and a wife belong to the father and if the father dies, the children belong to his immediate family. Tiwa's husband has all the rights over their child, according to the Yoruba culture and tradition, which are laws in Yorubaland.
However, this tradition is not the same as those of the White in America or the English from the United Kingdom, where more often than not it is the wife who has the custody of the children. In Yorubaland, it is the father who has the custody. Tiwa, therefore has no right whatsoever over the child of her union with the husband. She is in Lagos, Yorubaland and not in New York or London. I have done this post to educate the gullible Yoruba Youth who may have watched Tiwa's video. On reflection, I am, however disturbed on the mores and mishaps that increasingly afflict love and marriage among young Yorubas.
Our society expects us all to get married. With only rare exceptions, we all do just that. Getting married is a rather complicated business. It involves mastering certain complex hustling and courtship games, the rituals and the ceremonies that celebrate the act of marriage, and finally the difficult requirements of domestic life with a husband or wife. It is an enormously elaborate round of activities, much more so than finding a job, and yet while many resolutely remain unemployed, few remain unmarried.
Now all this would not be particularly remarkable if there were no question about the advantages, the joys, and the rewards of married life, but most Yoruba, even young Yoruba, know or have heard that marriage is a hazardous affair. Of course, for all the increase in divorce, there are still young marriages that work, unions made by young men and women intelligent or fortunate enough to find the kind of mates they want, who know that they want children and how to love them when they come, or who find the artful blend between giving and receiving.
It is not these marriages that concern us here, and that is not the trend in Yoruba today. We are concerned with the increasing number of others who, with mixed intentions and varied illusions, grope or fling themselves into marital disaster. They talk solemnly and sincerely about working to make their marriage succeed, but they are very aware of the countless marriages they have seen fail. But young people in particular do not seem to be able to relate the awesome divorce statistics to the probability of failure of their own marriage. And they rush into it, in increasing numbers, without any clear idea of the reality that underlies the myth. I can only hope Tiwa and her husband find the grace to work things out on their own.
The same culture that allowed Teebillz insult his MIL and father in public abi?
ourchoice: If not for money and material need, majority of Nigerian women won't marry any man! #FACT
If TeeBillz had money, Tiwa wouldn't have disgraced him the way she did...2face Idibia, Danjuma, Late MKO Abiola, Late Abacha, Shino Peters, etc are more irresponsible than Teebillz but still, their wives and concubines who are prettier and hotter than Tiwa Savage times 2 condone them and even defend their cheating and irresponsible lifestyles!
If you are a guy or man reading this, please listen up: you are dead to women if you don't have money as a man...but you are the most loving, caring and faithful man to women so long as you have the money!
Women are smarter than men of today, too bad....women screen men based on how much they have but men screen women based on inconsequential physical beauty that fades the moment u get the woman to be yours.
It's high time Nigerian men wake up and start dating and marrying women based on how much they (women) have too....divorce her if she looses her job! divorce her if she fails to contribute to the family upkeep! Don't marry her if she doesn't have a good job, not from a rich family and not earning big income! Nigerian men wake up! Nigerian ladies are taking u Nigerian men for a fool!
A Nigerian guy will be rich and go marry one broke girl and turn her life and that of her family around for good....but no rich Nigerian lady agrees to date or marry an average-income Nigerian guy....and if she dares, she must be too old and ugly! and must be controlling the poor guy's life like a remote controlled CCTV camera!
Guys wake up!
Ini Edo only divorced her husband because things became bad for him financially and he started depending on Ini Edo for money...the same thing is happening now between Tiwa and TeeBilllz, why? because Nigerian women are only after money and once the man can't dish out the money like before, he's dead and gone!
If Omotola's husband was broke, Omotola would have divorced him long time ago...same with Stephanie Okereke, etc...to these women, it's all about the money!
Davido was right: life to Nigerian women is all about the money and nothing else!
Have u guys ever wondered why Linda Ikeji, Genevieve Nnaji, Rita Domnic, Funke Akindele, etc are all single It's simply because they are waiting for Dangote son or some billionaire to marry them and squander more money on them!
They don't want to settle down with an average-income earner or ordinary millionaire guy, they want billionaires, shame on Nigerian women and their mad love for money!!
Nigerian guys wake up too! Don't date or marry a broke girl again! If your wife was working and looses her job, pls divorce her asap and marry a richer lady, simple!!!
Let's all join the women and play the game too!
The same Ini Edo's husband that married the 3rd wife few weeks after their divorce?
As per money, how many Nigerian men have the money we are talking about? How many billionaires and millionaires do we have in Nigeria?
If you are stressing the Nigerian girl's love for money, what is the duty of
A Nigerian husband to his wife? A Nigerian wife to her husband?
"DON'T MARRY A MAN YOU CAN'T CARRY THE BURDEN OF HIS DESTINY. A lot of ladies don't know this. A greater proportion of women wants to marry great men, celebrities, authorities, maybe because of money, but truth is, Can you pay the price in marriage? I have come to understanding that so many great people hardly have time for their family, can you cope? A lot of ladies will love to have been the wife to a great man like Bishop Oyedepo, But do you know he hardly sleeps? He hardly has time for his wife? But there's excess of money... What of his attention? A lot of ladies get to discover that money isn't everything, when it's already late. A man who is globally relevant might not give you all the attention you need, what will keep you in those times is the love and passion you have for his vision and mandate and that brings me to this point: Marry a man whose vision you can carry. Getting married to very great people isn't beans. Ask their wives. Being a people's person isn't easy. Many celebrities don't spend up to three months in a year with their families. Can you cope that time because money can't solve that one? Will you be able to cope when he'll have to be away for eight months and as he's getting back, he has another trip for a year, and all that kind of serial engagements? Even Van Vicker, Famous actor confessed he barely has up to two months with his wife in a year. Many girls would wish to have married Van, but how many can understand when he'll have to stay away for long because of his dreams and purpose? Personally, I have a mandate to reach out to 2 billion people before i die, to impact and influence a minimum of that amount before I breath my last breath. God keeps using people to warn me that I have to be careful when it comes to choosing a life partner. Because a mistake there will ruin my purpose. A man might be vision minded, passionate, ambitious, and rich and handsome and you wish to marry him but truth is, You can't bear the burden of his mandate. You can't endure it. Do you know what the wives of pastors endure? Do you know what the wives of great icons endure? It's not by fantasizing about love from morning till night. If you're thinking of marrying a great man, be ready to pay a great task in marriage. Myles Monroe when alive got over 800 invitations to speak in a year, How did he cope? How do you think his wife coped? It was because she was strong enough to bear the burden of her husband's purpose. It doesn't end at marrying a man with a vision. You must understand that as time goes, that vision will explode and he might not have so much time for you,you need to understand and adjust. This is also why a lot of celebrities have issues with marriage. I'm not saying celebrities shouldn't have time for their family in the name of their vision but believe me no matter how much they spare, it can't be much like an average man. Some of them hardly sleep sef!!! No matter how great I become, I'll always have time to be with my wife and family but I doubt it'll be every now and then. I wish it would be but with my life's purpose, It might be tough. Can you manage a man's greatness? Money won't change anything. Some ladies think when there's money, marriage is better. Lol. Money sure helps but a lot women that married rich and great men wants to divorce because they can't cope with the burden of his purpose. This article applies to both sex. Marry the person whose burden of purpose, you can carry. You can share this write-up."
Ruq: Ok that's true, but in a scenario like this I think the woman should be able to pull it off since its most likely she would be from a humble background. But look at our society everyone expects the man to be the provider, as matter of fact to me that's the only reason you can claim you have balls, yes you can help out with other stuff in the home but nigga our balls is wired to providing and not just providing, providing the higher share.
Even for the woman who contributes the larger chunk, it's not because she can't pull off being cool but because somehow she starts thinking and seeing in her mind that she's doing the 'man's job' according to society. So that's were the guys balls starts shrinking because she can call all the shots without him. I'm a witness to this kind of ish. Imagine if science could help men get pregnant and deliver babies, wouldn't that downplay a woman's role in child bearing, then soon men would grow ovaries and say to hell with women I can deliver my own child.
Very much on point.
If responsibilities are divided along strict lines, a partner loses usefulness and value once the other can successfully take up both responsibilities.
Anyways, we are discussing this because it has been ok for men to disrespect their women because they are the major providers.
If everyone was treated with respect breadwinning or not, we would not see this becoming a trend.
modath: I wish I could agree with you, I sincerely do but i've never seen one situation where the woman makes more than the man & the man's ball didn't eventually creep into the lady's handbag!! Not one, even the supposed church faithfuls... if the going is still smooth now, sooner rather than later, something will snap.
It's biology, women are nurturers, men are providers, anything that tips the balance never ends well... yours truly has her head screw up tight but I know for sure I would go crazy if I had the purse strings in my hands!!
We can pretend all we can but women aren't wired right when it comes to managing a man that has less than!!
Sirshymexx ..me feel the guy has been so debased that he has decided to take the brand down with him!! He is depressed for real..
It depends if the woman is of the school of thought that a man must 'provide'. A woman who believes a man must out-earn her or 'provide' solely or largely will disrespect her husband is he earns less or doesn't earn because he is not bringing 'value' anymore to the relationship and the woman is self-sufficient.
I know a number of abused women who are the sole/major providers.
A lot of wives now have the 'purse strings' in their hands especially in Nigeria.
oduastates: 4th mainland bridge is a shortsighted waste of money as a result of lack of planning.
Why do we need another bridge to a tiny island,that will be under water, in less than 100 years. Like the badly concieved mega city thingie,which has resulted in the spread of an urban ghetto sprawl,this money would have been better spent on reclaiming what has been lost. Instead of a single business district , would it not have been better to have a series of business districts like the central business district and use it as a launching pad to regenerate entire areas. Like one business district in Ketu, Surulere, Agege and Ojo respectively thereby reducing the need for a new bridge all the time. That money would also be better spent building a subway system or urban railways system.
1Congestion charge( btw the time, you have to pay) 2 Bicycle lanes 3 cheap Overground trains and other mass transit systems without fancy stations 4 expensive vehicle and driver licensing regime apart from commercial vehicles. E.g Singapore is 3 times the size of lagos, has a lower population but makes driving private cars a very expensive affair. 5 The proposed new city being in dubai( masdar city) will not allow cars into the city centre ( last pix
Beautiful objection.
The govt builds 4th mainland bridge (if they successfully complete it in 8yrs) and more people migrate to Lagos/acquire cars and we are back to square one and thinking of 5th mainland bridge.
1. Companies should mandate the use of staffbuses and encourage car pooling by not providing parking space or making it extremely expensive
2. Companies introduce telecommuniting and flexi-working to reduce mad rush to the Island daily.
3. Govt should develop other parts of Lagos so they are attractive for investors and everyone doesn't feel they have to be on the Island and Ikeja.
4. Build a solid water transport system... Ajah to Ikorodu is about 10mins via water. God blessed Lagos with a lot of water... Epe, Ajah, Apapa, Marina, Lekki, V/I etc.
Ambode, think outside the box!
Too many cars in Lagos, too many people migrating to Lagos...
A transport mode to accommodate the influx of cars ain't the answer.
In the long term, other Governors should think of building their states to become an investment attraction so that some people can move back to their States and gradually decongest Lagos.
PresVA: It's even pathetic that people expect you to add after marriage to show that you're 'living fine'.. That's how someone told me I don't "look like a married woman" because I haven't added flesh... said after marriage, a woman is supposed to add, to have that 'motherlike' stature. . I was even happy to know I wasn't adding, was such a relief
I don't plan to pass size 8 all my life, love being slim and curvy .. so help me God
raumdeuter: Does the law or public opinion believe a man and a woman can fight? If a woman slaps you 50 times and he replies with 2, You are crucified and your career ruined
When Solange was beating JayZ who was obviously much stronger assuming he as much as sent just one blow her way would anyone remember the number of blows she landed on him?
The only thing acceptable when a woman and a man have physical altercation is for the man to either run away, If its in a place he can't run, he has to wait and take all the beatings until the woman is satisfied, Like Solange which everyone laughed at
Most people that are tagged wife beater do you think during the fight, the woman didnt throw a blow? When Rihanna and Chris Brown issue happened do you think Rihanna was just sitting their in her angelic ways taking the blows and not throwing hers back?
Its the hypocrisy the world have to live with right now. In the west now, Women believe its their right to beat a man without any repercussions
And the funny thing is a woman who believes a man has no right to touch her regardless of how much she hits him, watch her son getting beaten by another girl and she would be the first to say why didnt he punch her back
Bros, this ain't applicable to Nigeria.
Tell 19 people that a man beat his wife/woman and the first question 11 will ask is 'what did she do'? Hehehe...
I honestly do not know how to place Solanges's case however it is strange that a wife would watch her sister beat her husband...
There is hypocrisy everywhere and people will not ask questions if a wife slaps her husband before he is advised to divorce her in Nigeria. Just a flip side of the coin.
While I agree some cases of physical abuse is actually two lovers fighting, some women are genuinely abused.
As per the MIL thingy, most people have different rules of engagement for family & non-family.
And yes, I believe men & women can/do fight..... And I yam a part of society.
5minsmadness: The message here isn't on divorce per say~ more on the way women listen to and give advice to themselves. You see it a lot on this forum and in the real world: I won't take this, my man can't try that, I will divorce him straight, you must be a f00l to still be staying with him, you must be mentally retαrded or a doormat to give him sex when he wants, you might as well be a widow, you don't know your self worth, (and my favourite) - divorce him! He doesn't deserve u
They give extreme advice for relatively simple situations and give extreme examples to buttress their points (he must be sleeping with another woman, I know men, etc)
Most women are very bad with their mouths and they can give very caustic advice in relationships that are not thiers while hiding their own deficiencies or rather painting their own relationship in a 'perfect light':
I married my best friend My man serenades me every night My man takes me to the Bahamas every weekend We have been together for years and he has never raised his voice at me We agree on everything.
Smiling and shining on the outside meanwhile they suffer even worse abuse from their 'perfect' partners in secret.
Women should wise up on themselves. Don't compare your marriage with anyone else's. True, there are certain irredeemable situations where separation can be considered, but most issues out there are ones that can be ironed out and done without the woman taking a battleaxe into the fray because her friend told her if she was the one she won't stand for it, meanwhile that friend suffers much worse things at home.
Bukatyne, I trust u will find at least one point here to disagree with
While I agree that people should not compare their relationships.... I find the rest of your post amusing.
You seem to suggest there are no good husbands & every woman is suffering and smiling somehow when she says she wouldn't take poo.
I know husbands who would do anything to make their wives happy always... If senerading her nightly or as oft as he can does it, he is willing.
It is hard to believe there are still fantastic husbands around as the sob stories and negativity sells and once a wife doesn't tell us how her husband pounds her daily or goes on a dick sharing campaign, she is lying.
This is why I find it hard & unnecessary discussing details of my relationship/marriage with anyone... and when people start their sob stories, I switch to listen only mode as I have none to tell.
I believe people have loving relationships on/offline because I have seen examples. Everyone knows what is good for them and if playing the fool helps them achieve it, great.
N.B.: You just managed to tell us that there are no good husbands.
cococandy: is it even an offense? Except the fellow is deliberately refusing to try.
Just that some ladies have their priorities messed up. They'd rather stick with a disrespectful wife-beating and cheating azz husband who 'provides' than an honestly loving one who's not so buoyant.
See the friend that has a 'perfect' husband SMH. Sitting there collecting STDs, beatings and mouth lashing. When she is the one who should be looking for a way out of her toxic marriage.
Na you call her marriage toxic
She is crusing the world to her. That's if she's. Nor be ordinary soup money cause their palava?
cococandy: Thread for paranoid insecure dudes plagued by severe inferiority complex.
In addition to the complex, this is a husband planning to be terrible one forehand and looking for a 'doormat' who will accept his shit hook, line and sinker.
Who plans not to marry a policewoman because he can't hit her?
A nurse has no interest in sex due to constant contact with ailment yet she is willing to sleep with doctors & patients in her care?
BTW, I thought nurses are steretotyped to be randy?
Family › Re: The Family Section Fun Room!! by bukatyne(f): 9:25am On May 02, 2016*. Modified: 11:32am On May 03, 2016
.. so help me God