₦airaland Forum

Oahray:
I do not agree with your opinion that once there's truly love between two persons at any point in time, it cannot ever become something else.

Let me use the example of love between God and man you praised as the perfect example of love.

God loved the nation of Israel so much (since they were descendants of Abraham through Isaac and Jacob) that he delivered them from Egypt even through the Red Sea.

The love was mutual at that point, and Israel vowed to obey God.

Yet God nearly wiped the whole nation out shortly after when they worshipped a Golden Calf. Much later, He promised the adults older than 19 would all die off in the wilderness for their lack of faith.

Sometime later, David stubbornly conducted a census and Israelites with no say in the matter died by divine pestilence. Then Jesus finished them off centuries later by saying their house have been abandoned to them for rejecting him.

If God's pure love can be influenced by the actions of the object of his love, why not humans?

My point is, the fact that love once existed doesn't mean it always would forever. It just never fails to act as long as it still exists, but it does die. It dies when the other person eventually becomes (or maybe we just didn't notice earlier) the opposite of what made the love sprout in the first place.

Thanks for typing for me.

I thought Muslim/Northern women are said to be more virtuous?

I also thought polygamy is said to curb unfaithfulness?

Hmmmmmm.....

One doesn't know if the function has a timeline sha.

Drama Drama

PresVA:
Different things keep different men.. depends on individual value.. sex may keep Mr. A but won't keep Mr. B..

All depends on individual priorities. ..

Gbam!

Abi how do you explain a man cheating on a well behaved wife who is average or bad in bed?

Different things will even 'keep' the same man at different levels.

Madam Halima,

Whatever rocks your boat.

Onegai:
Nope. Volunteering is not a career option. If it was, there'd be training on it at a school. or voxational centre somewhere. It's something people decide to do for the good of their community.

See, I've met SAHMs who are improving their communities vastly (even doing things like basic Crossing guard for their local school), saving lives. Or developing a homeless shelter. And I've met career people who are doing the same. Neither is getting paid for it. Pastor Adeboye does get paid (all pastors do) for running a church. His church accountant gets paid for being a full-time church accountant. His choir members may not get paid and that's volunteering and last I checked, no-one wrote JAMB and filled in "RCCG choir member" as a course option (though seeing how people dey love their pastors here... )

I know a lady who used to volunteer at Motherless babies Maroko. Would you call her as having a job there because she went there to stay with the kids and keep them company daily? She wasn't getting paid for it. I know a lady who ran a small after school program in her house for her neighbours' kids (just come and read together rather than sit in front of a t.v. till parents get home). She wasn't getting paid for it. Is that considered a job now, will she be paying taxes for it?

Or do you assume I don't know what a WAHM is? I know several WAHMs and volunteering is not part of their calendar. Writing articles on the internet and submitting to a content site is a job. Because you get paid for it. Or do you work for free at your job?

Or is your definition of SAHM mean someone who sits at home and does absolutely nothing else or doesn't leave the house? The only women I know like that are some Northern women whom their husband's don't let them step out of their shanty homes.

(This is why I don't like speaking here... )

A career is an occupation undertaken for a significant period of a person's life and with opportunities for progress.

Another definition is pursuing a profession outside the home for women...

https://www.google.com/search?hl=en&source=android-browser-type&q=what+is+a+career&gws_rd=ssl

A job is also different from a career.

Like Mindfulness said, there seems to be different definitions of who a SAHM is.

I would not consider a mother who has pursuits outside the home (generating Income or not)

Why don't you like speaking here

zemaye:
interesting topic and mature contributions
I am presently a SAHM ! ok 70 percent of the time
its hard and its going to continue this way for the next couple of years
it is my personal decision and am glad I made it.
it's true women go through shit!
but its not all bad for everybody
since my being SAHM, I have never have to ask my hubby for a dime because he knows what
we utililise and i get that plus extra for miscellenous spending
he trust me more than himself with finances because am usually practical and thorough.

Nairaland make SAHM sound like a wife goes cap in hand asking
for money from her man
that has never been the case for me at least!
and I am aware of bad cases.
My 2 kobo sha to any woman planing to SAHM
have a solid finanacial back up plan incase anything goes wrong.
Meanwhile byvan03 you got me rolling on the floor with laughter.


personally I have businesses that run successfully without me being there physically,

How can you be a SAHM if you have businesses by the side?

@Onegai:

I think you are mixing up who a SAHM mom is.

Going by your definition, Pastor Adeboye is a Stay @ home husband.

Akposb:
This is an indictment on the Capitalist mode of living. The failure of government institutions has given the private sector a match ahead which has eventually created an unfair classified society. Money is the main bill of exchange for opportunities in the Capitalist world.

The Govt has failed no doubt BUT....

How many people know that building a career is different from a getting a job?

TooNoisy:
Such is life and I am not at all surprised. The rich have more contacts and networks who can push their children. They can also give better career advice to their kids. Besides, their kids don't need to just get a job, they can get the right job or even start a business. And their kids can will surely go to better schools.

0

Strangely, I am just seeing this.

I agree with your post.

Happy new year

It is a husband's choice to forgive an erring wife.

taryour:
AMEN to your prayers ma. Thank you and God bless your home too.

Amen

seaga:
Seriously what soup is that?

Which one?

Love nwantintin

May the joy you used to compose this never cease in your marriage.

48hrs will soon be here.

Bless your home

Of course the husband is a brainless vegetable who cannot think himself....

Madam, get ready to keep posting pictures of ladies

bellong:
Some of the problems confronting marriages these days are lack of tolerance, insincerity, pride and destructive ego.

Laying a solid foundation right from pre-meeting your spouse to courtship and the marriage proper will go a long way to building a vibrant union.

Very True

Happy new year.

lily12:
My dear Nairalanders,

I don tire for this situation.

I have read Nairaland posts for years as a guest. Every single post we see about marriage lately seems to be negative. I am not belittling the foolishness of cheating men when I say this: I am shocked that women can cheat so blatantly these days. I think it's tme to revive the hopes of those men who add two years to their marriage date when they see threads about disloyal "wives"... time to spare single women from the headache of being banded together with all these disloyal women, keeping them single even longer... let's restore the reputation of the institution of marriage as a blessing, a source of favour and a worthy calling that need not be delayed out of fear.

Please, ladies and gentlemen of Nairaland, there must be some happy marriages amongst us. If you have a good wife, please tell us why and how she is amazing. If you have a good husband, please share why and how he is amazing. If you have a good marriage, please take a moment to share your story here.

Let’s start 2016 on a positive note.

May the Lord restore the marriages of those who are currently facing crises, in Jesus’ Name.

Happy new year.

Your OP seems to think husbands cheating is 'better' than wives cheating

byvan03:
There are still great marriages, I am proud of mine . Marry a man that understands what marriage is and make sure you have a good understanding of the institution. One person alone cannot make it work, power of discernment is important. The moment you marry a man that believes that it is the job of a woman to make it work, film don finish for you.


As for the cheating husbands and wives, they deserve each other. The innocent ones being cheated on, it's your life, keep praying for them till infinity or give them away to whoever they are cheating with, your choice.

cococandy:
Pls stop defending yourself.
Let the ediots attack you if they will.
If your advice was given to married woman who's husband is busy running around town with other ladies, then you'd be a good woman before their eyes.

You are in fire ke

Happy new year

byvan03:
What is this marriage worth to her? If it means something to her then pull a surprise stunt. Serve her divorce papers without explanation, let her seek for explanation , that's when you divulge. Leave her to the begging and complaining to relatives, when you have had enough, draw your terms and conditions of reconciliation. She takes it or leaves it.

This is assuming you want to fight for your marriage. If she is already tired of the marriage, well....

Happy new year dear

With the stunts she's pulling, is it worth anything to her?

Not one man to say the husband is lacking (not an excuse), several men?

bennyrazz:
some wives are FBIs or CIAs when it comes to investigating unfaithful husbands. Imagine the phrase "sparkling clean joystick" which means he must have showered. Meaning husband have been keeping dirty not so clean joystick?

The advice I will give is for her to increase the intensity of her prayers, increase the tone of her prayers. Make the prayers aggressive. The prayer goes like this "Any woman that wants to scatter my marriage, anyone at all that wants to divide my marriage, let them not no peace, let them be like trouble waters, let the angel of God pursue them"

Note, two wrongs don't make a right.

Abeg leave that thing

Which woman wants to scatter her marriage?

The one her husband opened his dic!k for?

When will men take responsibility for adultery?

Telling me you fancy a woman and slept with her is preferable to the devil made me do it or the woman seduced/snatched me

In addition to unfaithfulness mind control and puppeting?

Kai!

Funny thread

With the rate of infidelity, one would think it is majorly sex that keeps a man

Whatever works for you o jare.

akachidi:
Marriage is as transperent as the name,don't bring spirit into it.

You are a comedian!

SAMBARRY:
efe girl let me help you summarize it

So on point

Where do you get your quotes from?

This na real super story.

Acidosis:
What a nice husband. He's as soft as a vegetable; as dull as a duck.


Your evil and witchcraft plans to turn Nairaland women into witches via your self-destructive pseudo-online-non-existent personality stinks.


Get a life and stop this demonic evangelism. Your husband is either too busy shinning other Congos out there or he just don't care about you. Don't get it wrong, giving you the power to control the house and leaving/ignoring you like you're nonexistent are two irredeemable plaque any woman can ever face!

Get a life madam e-boss.

All because you do not agree with her?

Na wa

I hope the couple did not open that themselves and if they did, they have done serious prayers with fasting?

In most churches, the pastor and/or parents pray on the gifts and in some cases open the cartons before handing it over to the couple.

This world is wicked.

byvan03:
Live your life the way you want and let others live theirs. There really are no absolutes in this life, live the way that suits your aspirations . A woman that chooses career over marriage is no better than the one that chose marriage over career. Let people focus on the area of development that they desire the most, be it starting their own families or building business empires.


I must say that this article can be misleading depending on the perspective the reader is viewing from. Telling ladies to spend their entire youth chasing money and settling down much later in life isn't exactly a top notch advice. I would have mentioned why but am already tired of typing.

I still don't understand why family & career/ job should be parallels....

Is marriage a space you sit and wriggle your hands daily

Good one Mr. Governor.

We just hope it is not like China:

Tell your Aba boys to produce high quality shoes to showcase to the minister and they go back to making baruffs for general consumers.

Congratulations OP;

God continually bless your home

Such lovely kids

bravitudenatura:
Good evening people there's this friend of mine who almost got married last year. She had furnished her ex-fiancee's kitchen . Now she's in a dilenma of how to retrieve her set of pots,cutleries,table gas and some little things.
I don't know the advise to give her o. Anytime she calls the guy he rarely picks and anytime he picks he says he's not home.

Does she hope to drop the stuffs she enjoyed too...

They are gone with the failed relationship.